October 2015

WElevate. WEpromote. WEinspire.

Power of Opportunity Navigating the Career Jungle with Jacqueline Twillie BREAST CANCER Awareness Life After Abuse

IMAN MILNER

Iman Milner is the producer and writer of the film, Love Escapes Us, which earned her the Discovery Award at the 2015 Black Women In Hollywood Luncheon Presented by Essence Magazine and Time Warner. Read more as we talk about how she got her start, what she’s working on now, and what’s next.

Breast Cancer & Domestic Violence Awareness|October Issue 2015

WomensElevationMagazine.com

in this issue

IN EVERY ISSUE 4 from the founder Encourage others, help others, promote others, you never know how much it may help them

6 the power of opportunity With a small window of opportunity, an encouraging word could make a difference

12 preparing for your review These three simple steps will help you prepare for your next performance review with confidence

16 fall fashion tips It’s time to bundle up, but that doesn’t mean you have to look any less hot

20 recipes These salmon & chicken recipes will warm up your fall evenings

38 take it to the throne When you have a problem or issue don’t take it to social media, take it to God!

50 walking in joy Being joyous and happy is a choice, you don’t have to let life weigh you down

FEATURES 10 breast cancer facts Educate yourself and be sure you are screened each year. Early detection is key!

24 iman milner Iman talks about how she got her start, her current projects and what she has in store for the future

42 domestic violence facts Learn to spot the signs, lend support and help break the cycle

46 life after abuse You are beautiful, you are empowered, you are not what he made you feel you were

48 never settled Love after domestic violence does exist, let God bring you the right mate

in this issue

contributors

THIS MONTH’S CONTRIBUTORS Kara Frison WE Magazine contributing writer www.softwordsbrighteyes.blogspot.com

Aronya Waller WE Magazine contributing writer

Shannon Clark Graphic Designer www.srichardscreative.com

Jacqueline Twillie Career Coach www.jacquelinetwillie.com

Elizabeth McDougal Fashion Contributor

Alandria Lloyd WE Magazine contributing writer

Iman Milner Cover Story Pat Maus, cover photo & article photos Dante Marshall, article photos Michael Rowe/ESSENCE Magazine, red dress photo

Stock art courtesy of freepik.com and freeimages.com

WElevate. WEpromote. WEinspire. www.WomensElevationMagazine.com

From the Founder

DELISHA SYLVESTER One of the things I love about this brand is our ability to showcase and share the stories of other women.

This month we bring awareness to domestic violence and breast cancer, two issues that are very important to women across the world. This brand will continue to provide a voice to the voiceless, to talk about the issues that matter to women, and feature women who exude positivity. Always remember to keep your head held high and remember to help someone else along as you walk down your own path. There is beauty in support.

You never know what someone is going through. You know never know how much you can help them by just being there for them. I will end with this: in your life push to elevate others, push to promote a positive version of yourself, and be an inspiration to those around you.

As always‌Happy reading.

4 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

DeLisha

“The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity,” she said during her acceptance speech.

“You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there.”

—Viola Davis, Actress

6 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

Lifes

tyle

The Power of

Opportunity

By Aronya Waller

Last month, the Emmys was the most diverse as ever. In multiple categories, there were people of color, many times two or three. Can you imagine how inspirational it was to see half of the nominees who were people of color? I believe Viola Davis summarized what we had been seeing throughout the night—the power of opportunity and its long-lasting impact.

The opportunity to make history just like Davis and Uzo Aduba.

Yet, the power of opportunity is not limited to just Hollywood, or even in our professional lives. Yes, we can only be truly

Women’s Elevation Magazine | 7

successful and reach our fullest potential if we are blessed with opportunities, but it also takes our hard work. Many of us will never see the opportunity because we gave up along the way. Many times, at least for me, I gave up during that final test right before an amazing

“There are other beasts within your personal life that can be squashed through the power of opportunity.”

opportunity came, or I did not speak boldly enough about myself

this article, you are thinking about a

for others to think that I am capable

person who has been affected by

of that opportunity. Or, worse yet, I

domestic violence. Yet, you may be

did not even try for the opportunity

wondering what opportunity has to

because I did not think I was worthy

do with it. You may think that it is not

of it. I knew my true worth, but the

within the victim’s control. Instead of

fear of rejection was a beast.

being powerful, they are powerless.

Together, we have the opportunity

There are other beasts within your

to change that mindset.

personal life that can be squashed through the power of opportunity.

Recently, Monica Butler Johnson was

Whether in your relationships and

killed by her estranged husband. It

social circles, your health, your diet

became a big story in social media

and exercise plan, or your financial

due to her Greek connection. Yet,

situation (just to name a few), you

think of the countless number of

have the power and the opportunity

men, women, and children who

to not only overcome but prevail.

are victims of domestic violence.

Consider these figures. One in four

Elevation

women has experienced domestic

Magazine has focused on a beast

violence. Every year, there are two

that has a significant impact upon

million injuries and 1,300 deaths

women of color—domestic violence.

due to domestic violence [1]. That

It has taken so many of our lives. I am

is more than three deaths a day

certain that as you sit here reading

due to domestic violence. We can

This

month,

Women’s

8 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

help change those numbers. While,

the legal, community, and social

ultimately, the decision lies with

services available to help them.

the victim of abuse, we can help support and build that woman’s

You can provide the knowledge, as

confidence. We can let her know

well as the opportunity, for them to

that there is a safe space. Let her

escape the clutches of domestic

know there are opportunities. Many

violence. Show them that they are

people because

return they

their

abusers

not victims, but survivors. There is

cannot

support

power within your opportunity. Do

to

themselves and their children. They

not take it for granted.

are afraid of the unknown and the possibility of living in poverty [1].

Sources:

Show them that there is a greater

1. The

life waiting for them. Learn the signs

(2014). Domestic violence facts.

of domestic violence, and then

Click to Empower. Retrieved from

create a safety plan for your friend

http://www.clicktoempower.org/

or family member. Tell them about

domestic-violence-facts

Allstate

Foundation.

“In every day, there are 1,440 minutes. That means we have 1,440 daily opportunities to make a positive impact.”

—Les Brown, Author & Motivational Speaker Women’s Elevation Magazine | 9

10 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

Breast Cancer

Brea Canc st er

FACTS In the United States: Breast cancer is the most common cancer among American women after skin cancer.

231,840 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed in women in 2015.

62,570 new cases of breast carcinoma in situ (non-invasive, has not invaded nearby tissue), including ductal carcinoma in situ and lobular carcinoma in situ.

40,290 women will die from breast cancer.

2,350 new cases of breast cancer will be diagnosed in men.

440 men will die from breast cancer.

The five-year relative survival rate for female invasive breast cancer patients has improved from 75 percent in the mid-1970s to 90 percent today.

The five-year relative survival rate for women diagnosed with localized breast cancer (cancer that hasn’t spread to lymph nodes or outside the breast) is 98.5 percent. In cancer that has spread to nearby lymph nodes (regional stage) or to distant lymph nodes or organs (distant stage), the survival rate falls to 84 percent or 24 percent, respectively.

There are more than 2.8 million breast cancer survivors in the U.S., including women still being treated and those who have completed treatment.

According to the American Cancer Society, Cancer Facts & Figures 2015

Women’s Elevation Magazine | 11

12| Women’s Elevation Magazine

Care

er

Preparing for your performance review I’ve heard from a number of young professionals who dread their annual performance review. They don’t know what’s going to happen and others just hope they’ll be given a raise. Very few young professionals take the time to prepare in advance or set objectives for the annual meeting.

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PART 1 Make a list of your contributions Within the course of a year you’ve worked on a number of project. Each assignment that you have at work is tied to a larger goal for the company.

Think about each project you’ve worked on. Think about the presentations you’ve given internally and externally on behalf of the company. How many times have your received a kudus email or an award? What about lessons you’ve learned from a mistake? How did you recover from it and what systems have you put in place to prevent the same mistakes?

These are examples of what you should prepare to bring up in your per formance review. You don’t want to go in and word vomit your list, it needs to be a part of the natural conversation. In part 2 and 3 we’ll address packaging your per formance review and what to say and do during the review.

PART 2 Packaging your performance So how do you package your contributions, accomplishments, and lessons learned? Remember, you don’t want to word vomit meaning just go into the meeting and spree off a rehearsed list. You also don’t want to rely solely on your memory. Per formance reviews are a common part of conducting business so treat it as such. Depending on your industry you can get really creative with this. For most young professionals creating a PowerPoint style presentation will be effective. In a more creative environment you could create an infographic or short video.

You’ll want to send this to your supervisor or the person who will be writing your per formance review in advance so that, they have time to review it 14 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

and think about the information you’ve presented. You should send the presentation a week before your schedule meeting. In the next and final segment of preparing for your per formance review we’ll address what to say and do during your per formance review.

PART 3 What to say & do during the review Once you’re in the per formance review it may be natural to have a few gitters. But, remember you’ve prepared for this moment and as long as you’ve been per forming like a rock star you have no need to be nervous.

Approach this meeting with confidence not arrogance. If you have an opportunity to see the template to which your per formance is elevated in advance get familiar with it so that you have an idea of the flow of the meeting. You’ll want to take praise graciously and receive constructive criticism with the same grace. The most important takeaway of this series is that you have to dedicate time to prepare to nail your annual per formance review.

Jacqueline V. Twillie is a highly sought after leader on creating strategic career plans. Combining a mix of leadership development and work ethic as the cornerstones to success, Jacqueline works with professionals like you to set career goals, develop networking skills, and create an authentic leadership blueprint. She is the author of Navigating the Career Jungle: A Guide for Young Professionals; which is an Amazon bestseller.

Jacqueline began building her expertise in career development and coaching while she worked for an IT staffing and recruiting company in Metro Atlanta. During this time, she worked closely with hiring managers from Fortune 500 Companies assisting them with filling in-demand job positions. Jacqueline has coached numerous professionals which resulted in them successfully landing new positions. She teaches negotiation, career and leadership development workshop at universities, conferences, and private corporate training events.

Women’s Elevation Magazine | 15

Fall

Fashion Tips

16 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

Fash

ion

The Basics for not being so basic

by Elizabeth McDougal Greetings Loves, Lovers, Friends and everyone in between. I know that some of us may be ready for the autumn season and watching the colors of the wind. There are also people like me who care not about Pocahontas songs and would like more summer. Alas, that is not how life works, so I am here to get us summer lagers together to be fly and unimpressed this fall. I should give fair warning this article is not about the trends for this fall, this is about how to stay chic, stylish and moderately warm for the upcoming season.

1. Sweaters Sweaters are a necessary evil, they can be uncomfortable but they can be great to throw on and go for fall fun activities. I chose thin sweaters or sweaters that may even be perforated to be layered under something like a jacket or a blazer. Also, thin sweaters can be layered over a chambray shirt or nice white button up. If you want a heavier sweater, just add a sheer button up under with a chuny, statement necklace to add some pop.

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2. Blazers Blazers are so easy to incorporate into your wardrobe for the fall. My suggestion is to pick a range of fabrics in different weights that can go with different weather ranges and can be mixed with different thicknesses of layering pieces. This can be an easy way to add color or texture to an outfit. Also, blazers are literally the easiest way to pull an outfit together, because a blazers job is to streamline the body and pull in the look. You will always look cool and be warm in a blazer.

3. Jeans Now listen,I have thighs and butt and a smaller waist… this is exactly why I do not like jeans. However, if you are proportioned in a way that jean wearing or jean buying doesn’t make you want to forsake all jeans, these tips are for you. First, find your perfect type of jeans and buy them in three different washes. This helps you transition them for work, for lounging on the weekends and for going out. Traditionally for fall you can try a heavier, darker jean like a deep washed, flare bootcut jean. If that isn’t your jooge (pronounce juhgg-ah) then try a skinny, ankle jean it is more versatile and can be just as fall appropriate.

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4. Sneakers and Trainers Unfortunately, now it is time to put away our sandals and light, airy slides-ons for something that requires socks…I know...it is indeed ok to weep. I think that sneakers have great potential to be versatile with weekend and fall activity outfits. I love the low cut, canvas style sneakers that come in prints like leopard or textures like perforated faux leather. I think choosing inexpensive different versions (or if you’re a hypebeast, more expensive sneakers) would help you change up your closets style and give a little breather on your boots, booties and shooties. Also, I’m a young, old lady so they are just mad comfortable.

5. Vampy Accessories This is my favorite part of fall. I love wearing dark makeup, deep brown/burgundy hued hats and extremely dark lipstick. Floppy hats in rich fall colors are always a fun way to add a pop to your fall wardrobe, colorful beanies or tobagans can add a punch on the weekends. However, be careful of the beanies they can often come off looking really young. However if your hair or head is ginormous like mine, you can either twist the back of your hair to fit in the hat or well wait until you get braids or a 28 inch weave (my dream). You could always look for deep hole having hats or shop out of the mens section, which have some pretty eclectic selections.

Vampy lips are such a bold statement that they will even remove the fact that your eyebrows aren’t on fleek. Choose plum, dark purple or even dark green for a fall touch.

There you have it! That is your basic guide to not being so basic this fall.

Elizabeth McDougal is a plus size style blogger, actor, freelance writer and comic from Virginia. For more information Elizabeth McDougal visit her blog www.dopechixx.blogspot.com. Also follow her on Instagram @dope_chixx and on Twitter @black_barlow.

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Balsamic Glazed Salmon Instructions Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 20 minutes Yield: 4 servings

INGREDIENTS Balsamic Rosemary Glaze 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar 1/4 cup white wine 2 Tbsp honey 1 Tbsp dijon mustard (I like Emeril’s) 1 Tbsp chopped fresh rosemary, divided 1 cloves garlic, finely minced

Salmon 4 (6 oz) salmon fillets Salt and freshly ground black pepper 2 tsp canola oil, divided

Allow salmon to rest 10 minutes at room temperature. Meanwhile, in a medium saucepan combine balsamic vinegar, white wine, honey, dijon mustard, 1/2 Tbsp of the chopped rosemary and the garlic. Heat mixture over medium-high heat and bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer over medium-low heat until sauce has thickened and reduced to 1/3 cup, about 13 - 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and pour into a heat proof dish (using a rubber spatula to get it all out) and allow to cool.

Season both sides of salmon with salt and pepper. Heat a large non-stick skillet over medium-high heat and add 1 tsp of canola oil. Once pan and oil are hot, add 2 salmon fillets and cook, without moving, until salmon has nicely browned on bottom, about 3 - 5 minutes. Carefully flip salmon to opposite side and continue to cook 3 - 5 minutes longer until bottom is browned and salmon has cooked through. Rest in a warm oven (don’t rest it in a hot oven, you don’t want to continue to cook it. If you have to skillets I would recommend just using both and cooking all of the salmon at once. Wipe skillet clean, add remaining 1 tsp oil, once hot repeat process with remaining 2 salmon fillets.

Serve warm drizzling each fillet with balsamic rosemary glaze and sprinkling tops with remaining 1/2 Tbsp of rosemary.

Recipe Source: Cooking Classy

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Cilantro Lime Chicken Thighs Prep Time: 20 minutes Cook Time: 45 minutes Serves: 6-8

INGREDIENTS 8 chicken thighs, bone in, skin on Olive oil 6 garlic cloves, roughly chopped 1 cup dry white wine 2 limes, juice of 2 cups chicken broth 1 bunch cilantro, stems removed, chopped; more for garnish Spice mix: 1 tbsp seasoned salt 1 tsp hot paprika 1 tsp black pepper 1 tbsp garlic powder ½ tsp ground nutmeg

Instructions Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F. In a small bowl, mix the spices. Pat the chicken thighs dry, and season each thigh on both sides with the spice mix. Be sure to season underneath the skin as well. Let the chicken thighs sit in room temperature for about 15 minutes.

When ready, heat 1-2 tbsp of olive oil in a cast iron skillet or French braiser. Brown the chicken thighs deeply on both sides in the heated oil.

Remove from the skillet and set aside briefly.

Lower the heat and deglaze the skillet with the white wine. Let cook to reduce and then add the broth.

Bring the liquid to a simmer then add lime juice and garlic.

Now return the chicken to the skillet; and toss in the cilantro.

Bring to a high-simmer for about 5 minutes or so.

Cover the skillet and transfer to the 375 degree F - heated oven for 45 minutes or until chicken is cooked through.

Remove from the oven and let sit for 5 minutes before serving. Garnish with more cilantro, if you like.

A simple fattoush salad and a side of white rice, couscous or Greek potatoes complete this chicken dinner.

Adapted from The Mediterranean Dish

22 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

Instructions Preheat your oven to 425 degrees. Light spray a nonstick pan with cooking spray and spread 3/4 cup coconut flakes onto the pan. Bake in the oven for about 5-7 minutes, stirring occasionally until light golden brown. Remove from oven and pour into a shallow bowl. Add in remaining 1/4 coconut flakes, panko bread crumbs, paprika, and oil. Stir mixture together until evenly combined and damp.

In a separate shallow bowl combine eggs, salt and pepper and whisk together.

Place a wire rack (like a cooling rack) on top of a baking sheet and thoroughly coat it with cooking spray. Form an assemble line with both bowls (one for the eggs and one for the bread crumb mixture) next to the baking sheet with wire rack.

Using kitchen tongs, dip the first chicken tender in the egg mixture, making sure both sides are coated and shake off the excess. Then dip the chicken tender into the bread crumb mixture, flipping it over the other side to make sure it is evenly coated with bread crumbs. Place on the wire rack. Repeat with the rest of the chicken tenders.

Place the entire rack and baking sheet in the oven and bake for 20 minutes, turning the chicken tenders over to the other side after 10 minutes.

Remove from oven and allow to cool for about 5 minutes before serving. Serve chicken tenders with sweet chili sauce or your favorite condiments.

Hawaiian Chicken Fingers Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 20 minutes Yield: 4 servings Crispy coconut chicken tenders that are baked instead of fried that are crunchy on the outside and tender on the inside. Serve with your favorite sauces.

INGREDIENTS 1 cup sweetened shredded coconut flakes (divided) 1 cup panko bread crumbs 1 teaspoons ground paprika 3 tablespoons coconut oil (I only had olive oil on hand so I used that) 2 large eggs 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon black pepper 1 lb skinless boneless chicken tenderloins (I had 6 in one package) Sweet chili sauce or favorite sauces for dipping

Notes: Original recipe calls coconut oil which I didn’t use.

I used extra virgin olive oil and the results were wonderful.

Adapted from Food Network Magazine

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Cove Stor r y

IMAN MILNER Iman Milner is the producer and writer of the film, Love Escapes Us, which earned her the Discovery Award at the 2015 Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon Presented by Essence Magazine and Time Warner. Read more as we talk about how she got her start, what she’s working on now, and what’s next for her.

Women’s Elevation Magazine | 25

WE Magazine: Thanks so much for

bleeds right into the New York City

doing this interview; let’s start out

Ballet. I’m going to mess that up, and

with your background.

she’s going to be mad [laughs]. She’s been performing at the highest level

You come from an arts background.

of ballet since she was about eight

Your parents were both involved in

or nine.

the arts. Tell us a little bit about that.

WE Magazine: Well kudos to her.

Milner,

I saw a picture of her on your

became one of the few black men

Instagram earlier. You come from a

to have a play on Broadway; that

really driven family. You were also

was about 20 years ago. He wrote a

involved in a lot of different plays

play called Checkmate which starred

growing up. I saw that you were in

Paul Winfield and Denzel Washington.

the production for A Midsummer

My mother is a dancer, she danced

Night’s Dream, that was one of the

for Alvin Alley [American Dance

plays that I had to read in college

Theater],

so I know all about that storyline

I.

Milner:

My

and

father,

now

Ron

she

works

there. So I grew up around a bunch

[laughs].

of artists. I travelled with my parents so I was a backstage baby. Then we

I. Milner: Yeah, I did that one in London

moved to Detroit permanently when

when I was in school. I had a great

I was about seven or eight.

time; it’s one of my favorite plays. I liked the story and the way it was written.

WE Magazine: Your sister is also in the arts as well, she’s a dancer right?

WE Magazine: What was it like traveling to another country and

I. Milner: Yes, she’s a ballerina! She’s

performing? Is theater different there

amazing; she studies at The School of

than in the United States?

American Ballet in New York. So she lives at the Julliard campus, and that 26 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

I. Milner: Um, I think the biggest

difference is that in the UK there’s a big

to get behind the scenes. Tell me a

respect for art there. I think America

little bit about your film, Love Escapes

is starting to come around. In the UK

Us, and what it was like to be behind

you tell someone you’re actor and

the scenes.

they’re like “That’s great!” they know that actors work really hard. They

I. Milner: I started working on film

have such a high regard for actors.

because I wanted to showcase myself.

They regard them the same way that

I was trying to get an agent and get

you would a doctor or a lawyer here.

myself out there. I wanted write a film

In the US if you tell someone you’re

about the life cycle of relationships,

actor many people are like “Ooh,

and how we hurt people. I wanted

good luck, I hope you can make some

to show that whatever you do to

money at some point.” I think it was a

someone comes out of them in their

confidence builder in terms of being

next relationship. So I kind of wanted

in a place where people really regard

to put that on a film for it to become

what you do.

a conversation starter about how we hurt each other. I wanted a male

WE

Magazine:

You

wrote

and

perspective so I worked with Anthony

produced your own film. I always

Phillips, who was the lead in the film.

think it’s great when artists are able

I wanted a male perspective. We Women’s Elevation Magazine | 27

just kind of guerilla styled the film, we

it was around for about four years.

shot on the streets of LA, in my

We had both print and digital. It was

apartment, and it opened up a lot

awesome; it really started off with me

of doors for me. It was different I had

just interviewing people that I knew.

never produced anything before; I was

You know actors and athletes that I

a writer I had my own magazine, but I

knew. It grew to include a lot of people

had never written a film before. It was

from Lance Gross to Serge Ibaka. The

my first time doing both of those things.

NBA was really our friend, we a chance

I’m glad I did it.

to be on ESPN, so it was fun. Then in the last two years I did it myself so I came

WE

Magazine:

You

owned

a

to a point where I had done everything

magazine before, I didn’t know

I wanted to do with it. I just wanted to

that. What was the name of your

focus on acting so I ended it.

magazine?

WE Magazine: That’s amazing, that’s I. Milner: It was called Edge Magazine; 28 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

an inspiration to me [laughs]. I love

talking to people that have done it

film I watched almost every weekend. It

before and have started from the

was life changing in many ways. A lot of

ground up. It’s hard.

the relationships I have now came from that day. I feel on cloud nine even to

Because of the film you were recently

this day. I get to go back next year and

named the Essence Short Film Award

pass the torch to the next young lady.

Winner, which is amazing. I was watching the speech that you gave

WE Magazine: That’s beautiful; it

right before this interview. It was so

brings it all full circle. You should

powerful, what was it like being in a

keep that spirit and high forever. You

room with Oprah and Ava DuVernay?

mentioned the industry and what

What was it like feeling the power in

people think of actors. What is your

that room?

take on the industry today from a black woman’s perspective? Do you

I. Milner: Honestly, it kind of spoiled me

see the views on African American

because now I expect everything to be

artistry changing?

like that. I was able to bring my mom. At first I was really nervous, I was glad they

I. Milner: I think the internet has made

gave the award out earlier in the day so

it an open playing field because you

I was able to enjoy the rest of the day.

don’t have to wait for someone to

It was great; Oprah was there, Mara

give you something. You can make

Brock Akil, and so many others. It was

a series, Black & Sexy TV is big with

great being in a room of people that

that they kind of made their own

I look up to, and they welcomed me

way. They’re like the HBO of YouTube.

with opened arms. Even the younger

What’s happening is that stars are

actors that were there, everyone just

being

supported each other. It was just great

People are able to use their own

to be included; they showed part of

digital platform as collateral to be

the film while I was there. Gina [Prince-

able to go a big network and say “I

Bythewood] gave me the award which

want a show or I have a show.” So I

was amazing. Love & Basketball was a

mean in that way, yes, black women

made

from

the

internet.

Women’s Elevation Magazine | 29

26 | Women’s Elevation Magazine 30

are able to have value because our

WE Magazine: I remember talking

work can be seen. There’s still a long

with a few people about that last

way to go. I think that people’s

year. Even when you see black

interactive response to shows like

men on different TV series you wouldn’t

Empire, Blackish, and Scandal shows

really see them paired with black

the industry that we are bankable.

women. Not that anything is wrong

It’s all about money at the end of

with that, but it was as if black

the day, so if we show that we’re

women had kind of disappeared.

bankable things start to turn around.

I think that TV has come a lot further

You mentioned Black & Sexy TV,

than film. In TV you have to have at

which has become one of favorite

least one person of color on the cast,

networks on the web. You are on

and even the shows that don’t they

their hit show Chef Julian. I was

are starting to come down on that. I

talking to Brittney [Echoles] when

think that film has a longer way to go,

I asked her to reach out to you,

when I watch movies or look at trailers,

and I wasn’t sure if you would do

I may or may not see a single black

the interview because how hard I go

woman period. In the films themselves

on Twitter [laughs]. Your character

you may or may not see one. It’s

invokes some emotions [laughs].

disheartening for me because I love film, but like I said with the internet you

I. Milner: Oh no, I’m used to it [laughs].

can make a film and get it out there.

I try not to focus so much on what’s

WE Magazine: So when you said yes

not available because once you do

I laughed a little. I remember when

that it kind of takes over your mind. So

we first were introduced to you on

yes things are changing, yes we have

Sexless during that infamous lunch

a long way to go, but I am not going

scene with Wendy and Julian.

to wait on the industry to give it to me.

Will it be longer way to go? Yes, but it’s

How did you get connected with

not impossible.

Black & Sexy TV?

Women’s Elevation Magazine | 31

I. Milner: Honestly, I know a couple

what it is. You can respect her on that

of years ago they had the black film

level, but on the other side you’re

festival here, and they had panels so

just

I went to one of them. I met Numa

the episode. What’s it like playing

[Perrier], and at the time I had the

Yasmin, because in real life you’re in

magazine so that’s what I was there

a monogamous relationship.

side-eyeing

her

throughout

for. So we talked a little bit then, and then that kind of came and went. I

I. Milner: I think that women have been

would see her every so often and we

like the three of the characters, Wendy,

kept talking about doing something

Yasmin, and Mo, at one point in their

together. Then she approached me

lives. I have never been as ruthless as

about playing the character, Yasmin on

Yasmin in my life, but I don’t know I

Sexless. I just figured it was a one-time

just kind fashion her after Rhianna and

thing because she was just coming in

girls like her. Girls that are just living their

as someone who knew Julian. Then she

lives and having fun, girls that don’t

told me that Julian was getting a spin

care what others think about them.

off and that was really how it happened.

I just had fun with it. I had to find a

I really kind of came in through the

balance, I think Yasmin likes Julian it’s

back door because I didn’t audition.

just where she is in her life she doesn’t

They had seen my work and I got

have time. I think that people forget

the role. I really look up to Numa as

that Yasmin and Julian have a history

a mother, an actor, a director she’s

from college. She knows what kind of

awesome. I always connected with her

guy he is; she knows things that Wendy

on that level, so she kind of just allowed

doesn’t have access to. She knows

me to play Yasmin. It was cool; I’m not

things that Mo didn’t have access

like her in real life [laughs].

to because Yasmin and Julian were friends. Julian ain’t an angel either

WE Magazine: Yasmin is rough; she’s

[laughs]. I think that women should get

like the girl you love to hate. She’s

to be sexually liberated. The funny thing

real G with who she is. She’s really

is we don’t see Yasmin with a bunch

out there with who she is, and it is

of different men, it’s just assumed.

32 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

Women’s Elevation Magazine | 33

Really the one we see her with is Julian,

Courtney [Julian] and I have that

and based off of that people make

conversation all the time.

judgments. It’s funny to me because people really give her a lot of flak. They

WE Magazine: I think he got a little

give her a life through assumptions. I

payback on the finale [laughs].

love being the devil’s advocate. I’m not like that at all, but it’s fun to play

I. Milner: I didn’t even know that that

that character.

happened. We didn’t find out what happened on the finale until we

WE Magazine: Ok well I will reserve

watched it all together.

my judgments; well I will try [laughs].

I thought about it and it’s kind of like

WE Magazine: I love the show though.

we treat Nolita on Sexless and Yasmin

So tell me what’s happening with

the same way. We do tend to single

you? What’s next for you?

them out so I will have to remember that when we go forward.

I. Milner: I have a podcast called Diary of Working Actress, it comes

I. Milner: I think that is like the one

out every Tuesday on iTunes and

character

not

SoundCloud. I am working a series

comfortable with seeing, anywhere.

with Andrea Lewis, she was originally

It’s still the one thing that we aren’t

on Degrassi she has a great series

comfortable with seeing. I think it’s

called Black Actress. She is starting

because that’s what we are taught.

a channel that has a bunch of

We are taught that girls are supposed

different content on it. I am creating

to maintain privacy regarding their

a series called Married about a young

sexuality. So when we see women that

black couple. That will be out in the

are the opposite of that then we can’t

Fall. I just finished writing my feature

take it. We have to figure out why we

film so I hope that will be out next year.

have such a knee jerk reaction to it.

Chef Julian comes back in the winter,

Male characters are like that all that

that’s it for now. My schedule is not

time, but they don’t get that reaction.

packed yet…

that

women

34 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

are

WE Magazine: It will be though. I can

different length, I’ve had three guests,

tell you’re really talented just from

and it’s been a great experience.

watching Chef Julian. Like I said to Numa when I interviewed her, I

WE Magazine: That’s great that you

love all of the actors on the different

give back and try to help new artists.

series. Even when I don’t always love

I wanted to end with asking you to

what their character has done, I love

give some advice to someone that

the effort and the work they put into

wants to be in your industry.

the character. You get the sense of it being real, and you all have that.

I look forward to checking out your podcast because I saw it on your Instagram earlier, what kind of subjects do you cover?

I. Milner: So I’ve been doing it for about a month and half now. We talk about the Hollywood round up which includes news, castings, and social issues. Then I have a question and answer part where people ask about my journey. Then I do a diary entry, where I read an excerpt from my diary about my journey and my life here in Los Angles. I usually end it with what I’m watching and I also expose new artists at the end as well.

I let new artists send me songs to play during the outro. Each episode has a

Women’s Elevation Magazine | 35

I. Milner: Know what

Chicago, or New

kind of artist you

York you won’t

want to be. Most

have much time

people just say they

to

just want to act, but

decision.

that doesn’t help

you’re in that city

you get to your

you’re going to

goals. What kind of

be swept up into

acting do you want

whatever

to do? Theater? TV?

m o v e m en t

Film?

one

Just know what

do you want to do

you want to do.

Which

first? If you want to tackle theater don’t

make

that Once

that is .

So that is my answer I hope it helped.

come to LA go to New York. If you want to tackle TV and film then come to LA.

WE Magazine: Well thank you for

Do you just want to be famous? Do you

sharing that advice. I think the

want to be a movie star, because that’s

readers will appreciate your honesty,

completely different than wanting to

and thank you again for doing this

be a veteran actor in the business.

interview.

You have to have a plan; you have to have a specific goal in mind. You can

I. Milner: Thank you for featuring me.

just say I want to act or I want to be famous because those two things

For more information on

don’t always live in the same spectrum.

Iman N. Milner check out her website

There are a lot of actors, who are great

www.ImanNMilner.com. Also follow

actors, who are not famous. Anything

her on Twitter @BestNewActress and

that you put out in the universe can

on Instagram @ImanNMilner.

happen, but it has to be something specific. Once you move to LA, 36 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

Shannon Clark graphic designer 252.622.9344 | shannon@srichardscreative.com

Are you in need of quality graphic design work at an affordable price? If your answer is “YES!!” then you should definitely contact me. I have multiple years of ad agency and magazine publishing experience. I am willing to work with your budget and can charge either by the hour or per project. Contact me at shannon@srichardscreative.com today and let’s get started!

Women’s Elevation Magazine | 37

38 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

Lifes

Take It To

tyle

The

Throne

By Alandria Lloyd

I read an interesting post on social media the other day. Basically the post was a cry for help. Someone posted about feeling down and not having anyone to talk to. She went on to ask people to call or text her because

she

was

overwhelmed

and didn’t know what to do. Others began commenting and trying to

Women’s Elevation Magazine | 39

“The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands” encourage her. I said a prayer for her

will perfect that which concerns me;

and logged off. After I logged off, I

your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do

began to wonder why people post

not forsake the works of your hands”.

some of their most intimate affairs

He wants to fix our problems but we

and emotions on public platforms for

must take it to Him. If you are anything

others to see? I always ask God for

like me, you will first try to work it out on

clarity concerning everything. I’m very

your own. Then when that fails, you will

inquisitive, so I always want to know why.

take it to God. I’ve learned the hard

Why is this happening or why are they

way, that I do not know what I’m doing

behaving certain ways. I was reminded

concerning my life. I’ll mess it up every

that we all have an outlet to release our

time. So now I take it to Him and leave it

pain. Some people use drugs, alcohol,

there. It’s not wrong to seek the advice

sex, and a variety of other ways to

of others or to “vent” but we have to be

express themselves. When we are going

mindful of those we choose to “vent”

through something, our first instinct is

to. Everyone doesn’t have enough

usually to tell someone or go to others

faith to believe God for your blessing

for advice. We call our friends, family,

or miracle. Everyone can’t handle your

and sometimes take to social media.

issues and some simply can’t be trusted

I’m not saying that it is wrong to have

with certain information. Read the bible

an outlet but let me suggest that all of

for yourself and stir up your faith so that

the outlets mentioned above aren’t

you will be able to encourage yourself.

the best choices. 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT) tells

We can’t always depend on others

us “give all your worries and cares to

when we are going through but we can

God, for he cares about you”. We must

always depend on God. Our friends and

learn to go to God for everything. He

family can only listen to us and give an

truly cares about us and that includes

encouraging word. God is the only one

everything that we go through in our

who can heal, deliver, strengthen, and

lives. Psalms 138:8 (NKJV) says, “the Lord

comfort us all at once. Take it to Him!

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Women’s Elevation Magazine | #

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Dom Violeestic nce

Domestic Violence

FACTS • Every 9 seconds in the US, a woman is assaulted or beaten.

• On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.

• 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime.

• 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

Women’s Elevation Magazine | 43

On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.

• 1 in 7 women and 1 in 18 men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime to the point in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.

• On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.

• The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500%.

• Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime.

• Women between the ages of 18-24 are most commonly abused by an intimate partner.

• 19% of domestic violence involves a weapon.

• Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidal behavior.

• Only 34% of people who are injured by intimate partners receive medical care for their injuries.

STALKING • 19.3 million women and 5.1 million men in the United States have been stalked in their lifetime. 60.8% of female stalking victims and 43.5% men reported being stalked by a current or former intimate partner.

HOMICIDE • A study of intimate partner homicides found that 20% of victims were not the intimate partners themselves, but family members, friends, neighbors, persons who intervened, law enforcement responders, or bystanders.

• 72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female.

44 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

Between 2003 and 2008, 142 women were murdered in their workplace by their abuser

CHILDREN AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE • 1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence.

ECONOMIC IMPACT • Victims of intimate partner violence lose a total of 8.0 million days of paid work each year.

• The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $8.3 billion per year.

• Between 21-60% of victims of intimate partner violence lose their jobs due to reasons stemming from the abuse.

• Between 2003 and 2008, 142 women were murdered in their workplace by their abuser, 78% of women killed in the workplace during this time frame.

PHYSICAL/MENTAL IMPACT • Women abused by their intimate partners are more vulnerable to contracting HIV or other STI’s due to forced intercourse or prolonged exposure to stress.

• Studies suggest that there is a relationship between intimate partner violence and depression and suicidal behavior.

• Physical, mental, and sexual and reproductive health effects have been linked with intimate partner violence including adolescent pregnancy, unintended pregnancy in general, miscarriage, stillbirth, intrauterine hemorrhage, nutritional deficiency, abdominal pain and other gastrointestinal problems, neurological disorders, chronic pain, disability, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as noncommunicable diseases such as hypertension, cancer and cardiovascular diseases. Victims of domestic violence are also at higher risk for developing addictions to alcohol, tobacco, or drugs.

Women’s Elevation Magazine | 45

Life

After Abuse

By Lori Carter

For eight years I felt as though I was dead. The person that I was born to be was no longer.

The nice, well dressed, smart, intelligent, loving young lady was gone, and it was all at the hands of a man. I remember the first “accident,” it was just a simple push down the steps. After that, the “accidents” became more frequent.

A slap to my face, a spit on my lips, a kick to my pregnant stomach, etc. I often wondered why me? To the outside world, we were the perfect couple, so I kept the “accidents” as my secret.

As time went on the abuse got severely worse.

There were times that I wanted to truly take the life I was given and end it all. The only reason I didn’t live out that option was because I had another life, my son, to take care of. He was the only reason my shell still walked this earth. From that point I realized this had to end. My prayers ran deep. For another year the violence went on, and then God answered my cries. I was free but still hostage in my own lost world. My self-esteem was gone. My inner beauty was destroyed. After time, I was tired of living in my own sorrow. I started having conversations with myself in the mirror. I started telling myself I was someone special and that I was beautiful on the inside. I made my first t-shirt for myself just to prove that I was beautiful.

I would wear my shirt daily to the gym. There were good days and bad days but no matter what I wore my shirt with confidence. After years of rebuilding myself from the ground up, I was born again. “Beautiful” was my name. I 46 | Women’s Elevation Magazine

wanted to change my Government name from Lori to “Beautiful” because I was just that passionate about rebuilding me. Even though my mother wasn’t having that, I started sharing my story with others and I found there were more women like me. I felt if my shirt helped me it would work for others. And it did.

My goal is to rebuild women and to have them love themselves no matter what their unhappiness is. I share with the women before they purchase a shirt that they have to be ready to be empowered. They have to be ready to love their inner beauty. With that, I started “The Beautiful Movement”. The Beautiful Movement is a movement empowering women of all walks of life to love their inner beauty. There is no color, no religion, or nationality, we are ONE. The t-shirts that I have made are for women that are ready to begin a new version of themselves. You are to feel empowered, feel lifted and feel BEAUTIFUL. Please let’s keep the movement going. It’s time to reach one and teach one.

Our inner beauty is everything and it’s time to love our inner beauty again.

By starting this movement and seeing so many women release their pain, it continues to help me grow and be the best that I can be. I will continue to share the movement worldwide until we are free of our pain.

Currently I am my website. It’s a pleasure to be able to talk, laugh and cry with these women before they order a shirt.

I want them to know that I am real and they too can be a survivor.

To find out more information on Lori Carter and her beautiful movement visit her social media and email below: Facebook/Lori.Carter.5686 Second Facebook @Yesimbeautiful2 Instagram: @TheBeautiful_Movement Twitter: @Empowerallofyou Email: yesimbeautiful2@gmail.com Women’s Elevation Magazine | 47

Never Settled

By Patrice Simmons When I was 24, I thought I was marrying the man of my dreams. We were together for four years, and had a two year old daughter. We were in love, at least I thought we were. Things suddenly shifted once “I Do’s” were said. My ex-husband started drinking heavily. Once the abuse began he became verbally abusive to me, even in front of our children. When I talked to him about his behavior he refused to communicate with me.

Things persistently became worse. I became depressed, angry, and even had thoughts of suicide. For years the cloud of darkness that I experienced in the marriage finally took its toll on me. The final straw was in when my kids and I became homeless because of his actions. He wasn’t good with the finances and lied about bills being paid.

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In my heart, I felt that God was mad at me for something I did. I couldn’t feel his presence for a long time, but what I know to be true is that God was always there even from the beginning. There were signs that I ignored, and there were truths I didn’t want to face. I realized that it is when we get to this place of darkness in a relationship, the best thing to do is to pray your way out of it! The gift of a new beginning starts once you learn to love yourself. When everything is simply and easy it’s hard to see His value for you. You must remember that a man/woman will show you that he/she wants you, regardless of it is convenient for him/her.

Even in darkness you can learn from a domestic violence situation. I urge you to embrace this new chapter, and bring these lessons into your next relationships: 1. Remember to be true to who you are.

Know who you are, and let no one take that from you.

2. Remember that you are valuable.

Believe that you are a prize an add value to any relationship.

3. Remember to walk with integrity, dignity, and excellence. A person who is sure of themselves, has morals, goals, and self-love will attract someone real.

4. Remember that through pressure a diamond is formed. Never let the things of this world break or make you. Know that you deserve to have love, because you are love.

“It’s at that moment when you realize just how valuable you are to God and what’s coming for you will make your pain a distant memory” – Patrice Simmons Women’s Elevation Magazine | 49

Spiri t Corn ual er

“… but today, I decided to let it all go. I’m dropping these bags. I’m making room for my joy.

And I choose to be the best that I can be. I choose. . . to be authentic in everything I do.

My past don’t dictate who I am. I choose.”

I Choose- India.Arie I was upset! I was running late for work and I kept getting stuck at red lights! After a while, I made it through a few green lights and the flow of traffic was steady. All of the sudden, I saw at least 6 cars in front of me put on their brakes. “What’s going on, now?”

I thought. Up ahead, I was reminded that living in rural (Eastern Shore) Maryland means that regular vehicles sometimes have to share the road with farm equipment. I laughed.

Yes, I try my best to be on time for work. And yes, I was now going 30 miles per hour versus the posted 55 and I would probably be late. However, there were no accidents. Everybody in front of and behind me was fine. Nothing at work was so urgent that it couldn’t wait until I arrived. So. . . I decided to breathe and sing along to the music that I was listening to {And You Never Will by Anthony Brown & group therapy featuring Maurette Brown-Clark. . . check it out!}.

That made me think. . . We really do have the power to choose our mindset! That can then determine the tone of our day and even impact the energy and feelings of the people with whom we come into contact.

One of my favorite scriptures is Nehemiah 8:10.

The last clause reads, “…the joy of the Lord is your strength.” I seriously try to take that to heart. Realizing that Jesus has everything we need can truly bring your mind some peace and help you to keep things in perspective.

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One of my goals is to let the love of Jesus be reflected in my actions. On a daily basis, I try to be helpful and patient with people that others are quick to write off, and just polite in general. It’s amazing/mindboggling for me to see how many people struggle with just smiling or saying “hello” to another person!

The scripture said that joy equals strength. If we’re empowered or strengthened, I think it’s only right for us to empower others.

Now, this doesn’t mean that every day will be peachy but you can make the most out of it! You may face a more serious situation than slow traffic but don’t give up. You are not alone. God is with you.

He will be your strength, joy, and peace. And as I’ve said before, He may even place people in your path that will encourage you to keep walking. Regardless of what your hurdle or hindrance may be. . . let it go and make room for the blessings that God has in store for you. Choose to walk in joy! Choose to walk in strength.

And let it be infectious!

Kara Frison is a 2010 graduate of Hood College who strives to inspire others through her writing.

You can read more of her thoughts at www. softwordsbrighteyes.blogspot.com and connect with her on Twitter/Instagram {@karalfrison} or by searching for #DailyDoseLove.