some aficionados will be submerged in their La-Z-Boys, faces greased from their beef-and-cheese-laden Cincinnati chili dogs, others will be found at the baseball diamond, hands dirtied from their pepper, pickle, onion, tomato, and sweet relish topped Chicago dogs. To be clear, hot dogs do not have a monopoly on these types of food categorizations. On menus, soups are often distinguished from bisques and chowders with soups being thinner than the latter two and chowders chunkier than bisques. While this categorization may seem superfluous––whether hot dogs are differentiated from sandwiches has no sizable effect on our planet or its inhabitants––if we are to organize foods into groups, the task should be treated with the appropriate respect. To include hot dogs and their many variations with ham and swiss or turkey and cheddar would be a disservice to both and would insult the art of cuisine. With hopes that this discourse might find a purpose greater than a dinner table discussion, I ask that this conjecture might travel with you. Next time you are at the neighborhood diner, and the coffee-stained menu presents hot dogs alongside the turkey club or the fish po’ boy, kindly let your waiter know that hot dogs are not sandwiches. v Smiling Monster | Bobby Hunter | linocut | 11 x 9 in. Woodberry Forest School
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