Last Call

Michael Maher, author of ‘He,’ a memoir about his transitioning

Veer Mudambi

Worcester Magazine USA TODAY NETWORK

Worcester native Michael Maher always knew he wanted to use his words to change the world. Growing up, he wrote songs, later writing fiction and telling stories. Turns out the story that might have the greatest impact is his own. Maher’s first book, “He,” was published Dec. 26 and chronicles his journey in discovering his gender identity and ultimately transitioning. Maher sat down with Last Call to discuss the process of writing his book, the highs and lows of self-discovery, finding his true self and what convinced him to share his story.

What motivated you to write this book about your experience?

I began a TikTok earlier this year, hoping to reach more people than I have in the past. It grew pretty rapidly and I was surprised by the number and kind of people that I was reaching — that is what gave me the confidence to write the book,

Was it hard sharing such a personal experience?

The decision wasn’t hard. It meant a great deal to me to be able to help people, so the uncomfortable parts just didn’t matter in this case. When I first started my transition, I planned to remain stealth. It was very important to me to just live a very normal life as a man and outwardly be seen, as I’ve always seen myself. But I’ve learned that I can use my experience to help people, so from start to finish I wrote it in three weeks.

What were the biggest changes in you over your journey?

For most of my life, I grew up in a poor family and was taught that we have to deal with the hand that we are dealt. Around middle school, I gave up on songwriting and wanting to be a rock star which was also when I gave up trying “to be myself.” I stopped dressing up as a boy and thought “guess I have to be this person that I am not.”

When I was 17, I came across the word transgender and found out it was even a thing so that’s when I started my transition. I’ve had this mindset since then — I’m now 30 — that I want to be a normal guy and just pass.

Looking the way I do, being white and privileged, it was easier for me to reach more people than I would have if I looked any other way. That’s when I realized I had to do something that leveraged my ability to reach people and decided to write this book.

What’s next? More books?

Thinking about a coming out guide. I have been labeled lesbian, bi and transgender, so been all over the spectrum, and I feel I have a lot to offer there.

How would you say Worcester has contributed to your journey?

I was born in Worcester and have been in Worcester County for most of my life. I feel very lucky to be in a place where it is so accepted. I remember we saw a big Pride Festival here when I was eight and my mum commented that it was exciting. That gave me confidence even years later, when it was my time to come out. If I were living in Texas, let’s say, I probably wouldn’t be going to my city’s magazine looking for an interview. The diversity here has shown that I can be myself safely, and that’s valuable to me.

How has this affected your relationship with family and friends?

When I was 17, a very close family member caught wind that I was a lesbian and basically gave me a conversion therapy book. So, that hurt but it was the first time I faced any kind of resistance.

I came out to my little sister as trans when I saw a YouTube video and realized this was me. She took it really well. I came out to my mom shortly after and she wasn’t really negative about it but was upset and it took her some time to get my names and pronouns down. Aside from that, my family actually took it well.

My church at the time really discouraged any sort of LGBT anything and when they found out, they actually kicked me out. There was a big fight over it and some people even left.

So was the church and/or religion a big part of your life then?

Yes, growing up, we went to a church called the Christadelphian Ecclesia and I grew up there, and went from birth — Sunday school, Friday teen programs and Bible studies. That’s why it took so long for me to understand myself. I knew from the age of three that, inside, I was a boy.

I believe I would have discovered myself earlier if I wasn’t a part of that church. I’ve been working really hard to deconstruct that. I’m a very spiritual person but I’m not on board with organized religion anymore.

What’s the biggest thing you want to accomplish next?

I want to reach parents of children who are trans. If I could have had the words back then, it would have changed my life, so if I can give a better understanding to that group of people, I would just feel so complete and that I had served my community. Next, I want to help people who are questioning or are trans, non-binary or anybody in the community. I want them to feel like they’re not alone.

Michael Maher published his memoir, “He,” on Dec. 26, detailing his journey towards his gender identity and transition. MICHAEL MAHER