10 | MAY 6 - 12, 2021 | WORCESTERMAGAZINE.COM
CITY VOICES WORCESTERIA
HARVEY
‘Your call is important to us’ Janice Harvey Guest columnist
Shoppers head into the newly opened TJ Maxx location at Lincoln Plaza in Worcester on Saturday. DAVE NORDMAN/TELEGRAM & GAZETTE
Spring, pandemic have made driving worse and TJ Maxx exciting Victor D. Infante Worcester Magazine USA TODAY NETWORK
The other day, I was waiting at the light to turn left from Church Street onto Franklin Street. I was three cars back, and the car in front seemed to have a space out moment – don’t judge, we’ve all done it – and didn’t realize the light had
changed until the car behind them honked. Now, that’s a light that changes way too quickly, so with the delay, it was red by the time I made it to the light, so I stopped. I could see, in my rear-view mirror, the woman in an SUV behind me maneuvering her gas guzzler toward my right. I fi gured at fi rst that she was just preparing to turn right when
the light changed, but nope! She was going to pass me. Indeed, as I watched in disbelief, she went around me (I’m not entirely sure if she had to be partially on the sidewalk to do this) and then went around me. Then, I assumed she would at least turn right, but no! She barreled straight See SPRING, Page 12D
“Hello?” “Hello, yes I am wishing to speak with Donald Trump.” “Who is this?” “This is Brian calling on behalf of the Acme Collection Agency of Albuquerque, New Mexico. I wish to speak with Mr. Trump regarding a debt. Am I speaking with Mr. Trump?” “ Uh, no. This is his ... assistant.” “Could I have your name, sir?” “John. John... Barron.” “I see. Well, Mr. Barron, it appears that your employer amassed a large debt while holding a campaign rally in the city of Albuquerque, New Mexico.” “What rally? I haven’t, I mean he, hasn’t left the grounds since January 20. Sounds like you have a bigly mistake in your records. Or it’s a scam of some kind. Is this the IRS? ” “No sir, this is not the IRS. Sir, this rally took place in 2019. The city is demanding payment of $200,000 to cover the cost of security for your, I mean his, stay at a hotel, blocking off parts of downtown, paying police offi cers overtime, and more … hello?” “More?” “Yes. You, I mean he, must
cover the paid off expenses of city workers who had to stay home.” “Is this a hoax?” “I assure you, Mr … Barron, this is no hoax.” “ Well, I, I mean he, is currently unemployed and has no income. He left his low IQ kids in charge of the family business and Beavis and Butthead ran it into the ground. In fact, I can give you their names and phone numbers and you can try to collect from them.” “I’m afraid I can’t do that, sir. Mr. Trump alone is responsible for this debt, despite having lost the election. We sympathize, but a debt is a debt.” “Paying off debts is for losers.” “Yes sir, that would seem to be the case.” “I, I mean he, didn’t lose the election! It was stolen! Did you vote for Sleepy Joe?” “Sir, that was not possible. I am located in New Delhi.” “Is that in Jersey?” “No sir.” “Well, this is gettin’ us nowhere. I tell you what, ‘Brian,’ call my, I mean his, lawyer. The name is Rudy Guiliani. He should be easy to fi nd. Just turn on FOX news. And don’t bother me, I mean Mr. Trump, again, you hear me?” “I’m afraid Mr. Guiliani has his hands full, sir, since the predawn raid on his home and offi ce.” “Did I say Guiliani? Never met him.”
