6 minute read
City Voices
WORCESTERIA
Shoppers head into the newly opened TJ Maxx location at Lincoln Plaza in Worcester on
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Saturday. DAVE NORDMAN/TELEGRAM & GAZETTE
Spring, pandemic have made driving worse and TJ Maxx exciting
Victor D. Infante
Worcester Magazine USA TODAY NETWORK
The other day, I was waiting at the light to turn left from Church Street onto Franklin Street. I was three cars back, and the car in front seemed to have a space out moment –don’t judge, we’ve all done it –and didn’t realize the light had changed until the car behind them honked. Now, that’s a light that changes way too quickly, so with the delay, it was red by the time I made it to the light, so I stopped.
I could see, in my rear-view mirror, the woman in an SUV behind me maneuvering her gas guzzler toward my right. I figured at first that she was just preparing to turn right when the light changed, but nope! She was going to pass me. Indeed, as I watched in disbelief, she went around me (I’m not entirely sure if she had to be partially on the sidewalk to do this) and then went around me. Then, I assumed she would at least turn right, but no! She barreled straight
HARVEY
‘Your call is important to us’
Janice Harvey
Guest columnist
“Hello?”
“Hello, yes I am wishing to speak with Donald Trump.”
“Who is this?”
“This is Brian calling on behalf of the Acme Collection Agency of Albuquerque, New Mexico. I wish to speak with Mr. Trump regarding a debt. Am I speaking with Mr. Trump?”
“ Uh, no. This is his ... assistant.”
“Could I have your name, sir?”
“John. John... Barron.”
“I see. Well, Mr. Barron, it appears that your employer amassed a large debt while holding a campaign rally in the city of Albuquerque, New Mexico.”
“What rally? I haven’t, I mean he, hasn’t left the grounds since January 20. Sounds like you have a bigly mistake in your records. Or it’s a scam of some kind. Is this the IRS? ”
“No sir, this is not the IRS. Sir, this rally took place in 2019. The city is demanding payment of $200,000 to cover the cost of security for your, I mean his, stay at a hotel, blocking off parts of downtown, paying police officers overtime, and more … hello?”
“More?”
“Yes. You, I mean he, must cover the paid off expenses of city workers who had to stay home.”
“Is this a hoax?”
“I assure you, Mr … Barron, this is no hoax.”
“ Well, I, I mean he, is currently unemployed and has no income. He left his low IQ kids in charge of the family business and Beavis and Butthead ran it into the ground. In fact, I can give you their names and phone numbers and you can try to collect from them.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, sir. Mr. Trump alone is responsible for this debt, despite having lost the election. We sympathize, but a debt is a debt.”
“Paying off debts is for losers.”
“Yes sir, that would seem to be the case.”
“I, I mean he, didn’t lose the election! It was stolen! Did you vote for Sleepy Joe?”
“Sir, that was not possible. I am located in New Delhi.”
“Is that in Jersey?”
“No sir.”
“Well, this is gettin’ us nowhere. I tell you what, ‘Brian,’ call my, I mean his, lawyer. The name is Rudy Guiliani. He should be easy to find. Just turn on FOX news. And don’t bother me, I mean Mr. Trump, again, you hear me?”
“I’m afraid Mr. Guiliani has his hands full, sir, since the predawn raid on his home and office.”
“Did I say Guiliani? Never met him.”
Spring
Continued from Page 10D
across Franklin Street, running the red light and continuing on down Salem Street, passing the library as she went.
What’s better, is she gave me a dirty look as she passed, as if I were the jerk in this story!
Worcester is always prone to bouts of spring fever when the winter passes, but the pandemic has only made it more ridiculous. I can’t EXACTLY correlate this to a dramatic example of bad driving – it’s entirely possible she had a library book that was about to be overdue and was in a REAL rush to not pay a late fee – but, well … driving seems to be worse than usual all around lately, as has traffic, and parking. It’s kind of like we all desperately want to be SOMEWHERE, anywhere but home, but have also kind of forgotten how to actually coexist with one another. Social skills? That’s SO 2019!
Is there any other time in history when the opening of a TJ Maxx and Home Goods would be greeted with such slavering delight? My wife went to the new one in Lincoln Plaza on Friday afternoon, while I was still working at home. After a while I began to idly wonder what was taking so long. Eventually, I received a text from her that the checkout line was to the back of the store. She got some nice bath salts and a few other odds and ends, so that’s all well and good, but I find it kind of remarkable that people are THAT excited. It’s new to the neighborhood, sure, but we had one in the Greendale Mall not THAT long ago. I mean, most people stopped going to the Greendale Mall years before it closed, but still. The stores aren’t exactly rare.
But here we are. When we’re stuck indoors for months on end, even relatively mundane things seem exciting, and our patience for small inconveniences is worn to absolutely zero. This is, of course, a really bad combination for co-existing in a civil society. It sort of turns everything into the real-life version of the comments section on a Facebook post: Boring and yet extremely aggressive about it.
The weather’s getting better, and people are getting vaccinated at a pretty good clip, so pretty soon we’ll be able to preoccupy ourselves with music, sports and the upcoming municipal election. You know, fun stuff! Until then, enjoy whatever it is you want to enjoy but please, can we be a little more patient with each other in the meantime? Waiting a little at the red light won’t kill you, but running the light very much might.
Poem
Continued from Page 11D
siasm for that search fades in the wake of fear and disillusionment.
Character is forged in the humdrum of everyday, though it’s typically measured in the heat of great passion and adversity.
We gain perspective into the misfortunes of our lives only in contrast with the tragedies of others.
Many years have passed since I worked in The House of Pain.
Sometimes it seems like a dream; the cursing and threats, the screaming and sobs all still echo in my memory. I was therapist to monsters and madmen, predators and their prey, all living side by side in a place only men could build, and only fools would suppose might help them become better human beings.
I listened to their stories of blood and lust, vengeance and betrayal, of poverty and perversion, sadism and repentance, and did it all in hope of bringing peace or repose to lives racked by their own implacable nature.
I do not know if it was folly or grace that guided me…
But I do know this –– all of their stories live inside me, and I am changed by them, changed utterly; a terrible beauty is born.
Jack McClintock worked as a psychologist in the Maximum Security Prison at Walpole. An account of his experiences will soon be available on Amazon.com. It, along with other works by the author can also be found online at https:// a-turn-of-phrase.com –– click on prose and select, “Sin Eater, Memoirs of a Prison Psychologist.” The first week of May is National Correctional Officers Week.
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