CITY VOICES
HOT DOG SAFARI
FIRST PERSON
With some adjustments, Worcester Updating my resume, Hot Dog Safari returns for ninth year post retirement
CRAIG S. SEMON
E
ven the quest of the ultimate wiener is affected by the coronavirus. The ninth annual “Worcester Hot Dog Safari” will
“We are happy to announce that we will have six places this year,” Mahoney said. “We were unsure exactly how many we would try and pull off with the pandemic but luckily we have six great spots.”
Instead of culminating with a big party featuring music and comedy at Ralph’s Chadwick Square Diner, the Worcester Hot Dog Safari will have a prerecorded variety show starting at 6 p.m. Aug. 23, streamed on Youtube, Facebook and Instagram An “After-party” will be zoomed by the “Worcester Hot Dog Safari” and Wootenanny. The winner of the “Worcester Hot Dog Safari” will be announced at the end of video stream. All of the proceeds go to the Worcester County Food Bank. For updates as the event nears, follow the event on Facebook @ worcesterhotdogsafari and on Instagram @worcesterhotdogsafari.
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WORCESTERMAGAZINE.COM
A P R I L 9 - 15, 2020
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set frankfurter connoisseurs, at their social distancing leisure, on the trail out to six hot dog establishments in the Worcester area with scorecards in hand. According to “Worcester Hot Dog Safari” co-creator Tom Mahoney, this year’s hot dog safari will last a full week, from Saturday, Aug. 15, to Saturday, Aug. 22, instead of a jam-packed single day, and the official scorecard will be available online at facebook. com/theworcesterhotdogsafari. Scorecards will be released a few days before the beginning of the safari for people to print and plan their attack, Mahoney said. The scorecard will be release no later than Aug. 13. “We will be putting out a program when we put out the scorecards of each place’s hours and locations for the following week,” Mahoney said. “So the safari will start whenever the earliest location opens up.” Hot dogs are ranked on: the dog itself, the bun, the topping, the presentation and are scored on a 1-10 point system.
The six hot dog stops are: Bert’s Breakfast and Lunch and Dudleys Dog’s, both in Uxbridge, On a Roll in Whitinsville, JJ’s Ice Cream Shoppe in Upton, Schultzy’s Place in Sutton and Captain Rons in Worcester. Last year’s winner, Sully’s Dog Shack, retired from the competition because it has won three years in a row and joins George’s Coney Island in the Hot Dog Safari Hall of Fame. “Each year’s safari, we try and pick a general area or direction to head in Worcester County,” “This year we have chosen to go down Route 146.” For people who ordered shirts and bandanas, there will be a “contactless” drive-thru pick-up from 10 a.m. to noon Aug. 15 at Ralph’s Chadwick Square Diner. Hot dog lovers can go to the competitors and send their scorecards via email or text. The email will be 2020Worcesterhotdogsafari@gmail.com. All scorecards must be emailed or texted by 6 p.m. Aug. 22, although organizers say the earlier the better.
JOE FUSCO JR.
I
t’s somewhat comforting to know that I can retire at the semi-golden age of 66 with full Social Security benefits until our government blows the system up. However, I would consider reemployment if the following conditions were met in their entirety: No weekends. No early mornings. No nights; A commute 20 minutes or shorter; No job physical enough to cause sweating; An indoor work-environment at around 65 degrees; A boss who doesn’t monitor me like a dedicated parole officer; Conversely, no situation where I am responsible for the well-being of other employees; Time for a nice lunch and nap; No fastidious devotion to technology (Kronos, Motus, Yammer, etc.); Limited multi-tasking; No political agenda;
A dress code that encourages pajama shorts, fanny packs and Croakies. I realize the above-mentioned demands are lengthy and somewhat unique but I do possess the following positive character-traits: Nice voice; Been told I’m a semi-amusing codger; Can offer advice or recommendations then move on or follow-up relentlessly; Fierce loyalty to family and friends; Always finish every meal; Have managed to stay married for thirty-three years to a much better person; Predictable. Before concluding, I would be remiss in not mentioning an apparent lack of an “empathy” gene and a dearth of “depth” at times. Otherwise, that’s my resume. Available for hire … Joe Fusco Jr. is a poet and humorist who lives in Worcester.
