WORCESTERMAGAZINE.COM | NOVEMBER 5 - 11, 2021 | 13
CITY VOICES LANDGREN REMEMBER TO SET THE CLOCKS BACK, BUT ONLY AN HOUR ....
WORCESTERIA
How I learned to quit worrying and just shove pie into my face Victor D. Infante Worcester Magazine USA TODAY NETWORK
FIRST PERSON
The survivalist case for environmentalism Malt Schlitzman Special to Worcester Magazine USA TODAY NETWORK
A neighborhood where every roof has solar panels and rainwater recycling systems. Every yard is bursting with wildfl owers and raised garden beds. You know this neighborhood is safe, because there is no want. There is food and water and electricity to spare, this buff er that allows people to survive the worst with grace. Community resilience is self preservation. I want to address conservatives and libertarians who might have disagreed with my last article about rewilding yards. You have been sold the idea that ecological conservation is a radical left-wing idea.
You have been told you can survive what is coming by stockpiling guns and hiding away from the world. You have been lied to. Here’s the gist of it: Things are getting worse, and they are getting worse faster. We are going to need the most people possible to survive whatever’s coming, because we all have unique skills that combine together to stitch the quilt of civilization. But we are all low-lying islands in a rising sea! Obviously it’s easy to imagine what happens to a society when no one can operate a nuclear reactor. Bad things! But you need more than just nuclear engineers, you need See SCHLITZMAN, Page 15
I have never asked much more out of a journalism career than to meet interesting people and to do interesting things. I've had the honor of interviewing politicians, rock stars, business leaders and witches, and that's just in the past few weeks. I've covered hip-hop shows, comic book conventions, city council meetings and boxing matches, and am usually game to experience something I've never done before. So when Executive Editor Dave Nordman called to ask me if I wanted to compete in a pie-eating contest against 14time Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest champion Joey Chestnut, during the intermission of the Railers' fi rst game of the season at the DCU Center, my instant response was, “Huh? Wait, what? I'm pretty sure there are better choices for this.” Competitive eating is one of those things that absolutely did not appear on my bucket list. The only time I tried anything remotely like that, in high school, was some sort of Lime-Aid drinking contest, which had me vomiting in public, something I had sworn never to do again once my brief-lived punk band broke up. Moreover, I actually have developed a sensitive stomach and a weak metabolism as I've gotten older, so this prospect was all sorts of concerning. Besides, the last time I got
The Telegram & Gazette team of Victor Infante, left, and Craig S. Semon pack away blueberry pies as they challenge professional eater Joey Chestnut during a contest at the Worcester Railers game on Saturday. STEVE LANAVA
roped into a stunt with the Railers, I attempted to learn how to ice skate, and ended up with a sore back for days, so this was kind of a hard sell. Nordman explained that myself and reporter Craig S. Semon would be teamed together to represent the Telegram & Gazette, and there'd be competitors from other media outlets. I hemmed and hawed in an uncharacteristic manner, but eventually relented, with the caveat that we would probably lose badly. I then promptly failed to think about it again until the day of the competition. Indeed, while most of my competitors were starving themselves to get ready, I made my wife and I a nice ravioli dinner beforehand, confi dent in the knowledge that it would not make a lick of diff erence. Arriving at the DCU Center
with Craig, who was wearing some sort of postmodern gonzo journalist costume — think Hunter S. Thompson meets Max Headroom and they create a comic book character together — I actually began to get a bit nervous. What had I gotten myself into? This was so far outside of my comfort zone as to be in a diff erent state altogether. It helped a bit that I knew some of the other competitors — Sarah Connell Sanders writes for WoMag, in addition to cohosting the “Pop It” podcast with Molly O'Connor, and MassLive's Tom Matthews was known to me, although I think this was the fi rst time we really met in person. Still, the idea of stuffi ng Table Talk pies in my face in front of a few thousand people was more daunting than I'd See INFANTE, Page 14
