City Voices

LANDGREN YOU CAN’T PLOW SNOW REMOTELY!

FIRST PERSON

Visiting mi abuelo

Frankie Franco

Special to Worcester Magazine USA TODAY NETWORK

So … I finally mustered up the energy to spend time with mi abuelo. He’s an old fashioned machismo man, meaning it’s difficult for him to express love and affection, especially with family. As a young boy he showed me an abundance of love because it was safe to do so because of my age. He cared for me, bought me what I wanted, and spent quality time. As I got older though, the love slowly began to fade. During my recent visits, I will hug, kiss, and say “I love you,” but his response will be “me too” instead of “I love you too.” He then will leave me alone in his apartment, while he sat in his room watching novelas. This bothered and hurt because I wanted to hear and feel loved by him like when I was a boy. However, it’s not his fault. His father was abusive and had a reputation of being mean and cold. This was the male figure that raised mi abuelo during a time when toxic masculinity was the norm. Toxic masculinity wasn’t even a phrase and it was simply being a “man.” Men were forced to swallow their emotions and project a tough exterior for the world. I should not take it personally that mi abuelo behaves this way and I also should not expect him to know how I would like to receive love from him. People show love in their own way and I should have taken the time to learn his love language because he’s using limited tools at his

WORCESTERIA

District 5 city council candidate Gregory Stratman campaigns at Worcester State University.

ALLAN JUNG/TELEGRAM&GAZETTE

Lessons learned from the Worcester election

Victor D. Infante

Worcester Magazine USA TODAY NETWORK

One is forced to wonder if the results of the Nov. 2 Worcester City Council and School Committee elections signified some sort of cultural shift in Worcester. After all, as Telegram & Gazette reporter Steve Foskett points out ably in his article, “Five takeaways from the City Council race: making history, crunching numbers,” the city did not fall prey to “national projections of a conservative backlash across the nation,” and indeed, most of the more conservative-leaning members of the Council who held onto their seats did so by the skin of their teeth. They’re not fools, and most of them have coasted to re-election before, so they’re probably looking long and hard at where things went wrong.

If one were to conjecture, one might be forced to reckon with the fact that this was one of the dirtiest, most personally vicious elections in recent memory, one rife with racist dog whistles, homophobia, misogyny and just out-and-out meanness, and to Worcester’s credit, the city didn’t buy it, and indeed, even the candidates standing next to the toxicity suffered for it. Which brings us to the first lesson from this election: Be very careful who you stand next to. If one were to look at the gubernatorial election in Virginia, Republican winner Glenn Youngkin made very certain to distance himself from former President Donald

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Trump, because Trump and his brand of belligerent politics were unpopular there. It was a winning strategy. By not standing next to Trump, Democratic challenger Terry McAuliffe was unable to paint him with the same brush. In Worcester, it was not uncommon to see signs for candidates who lost or underperformed all bundled together, and it’s hard not to see a connection.

Which brings us to our second lesson: Belligerent political styles didn’t work, and probably won’t in the near future. It’s easy to get fooled into thinking there’s a huge amount of support for the “own the libs” brand of conservatism one sees on Facebook posts, but it is, as they say in Texas, all hat, no cattle. There were a lot of small “c” conservative voters who could have been swayed by the keywords “support for the police,” “lower residential tax rate,” but were turned off when they saw them couched among what many perceived as racist dog whistles, straight-up homophobia, attacks on single mothers and attacks on people’s families. Honestly, the bulk of Worcester’s population is largely apolitical, but if cornered, they’d probably see themselves as mildly liberal with a conservative streak. They can be swayed by conservative arguments, but are turned off by hate speech, belligerence and cruelty. When they see associates of a candidate posting an illustration of the mayor done up as Hitler, they’re going to get turned off.

Speaking of which, this is the point where some says that a candidate can’t be responsible for their supporters online or third-party PACs that send cringe-worthy mailers. This is true, but this is also the third lesson: Leadership means taking responsibility for what’s done in your name. If you can’t inspire people to act with dignity on your behalf, perhaps you should question whether politics is the right career path. You can’t benefit from negative attacks and walk away unscathed when they backfire.

In this year’s election, only 17% or so of registered voters came out for the election, and the left was pretty energized, so that means a large chunk of moderates and even conservatives stayed home. Sure, some of that is off-year election apathy, but if I were one of the more conservative candidates, I’d be thinking long and hard about why that support wasn’t there, especially if it’s been there in the past. That’s lesson four: Turnout matters. Indeed, in politics, turnout is everything. The other side of that is lesson five: Know who it is that’s turning out.

It’s a tad too early yet to have a thorough breakdown of who voted by demographic, either overall or in particular districts, but those results are going to be very interesting. There is an anecdotal sense right now that the traditional Old Worcester power structure doesn’t exist in the same way that it once did, and that minority and traditionally underrepresented communities have become both better organized and have developed more financially stable middle classes, which is a winning combination for political influence. Moreover, there’s also a sense that there are a lot of new voters in town, many of whom are young and have moved here for the still relatively affordable housing and job opportunities. There’s every reason to believe that group would trend liberal, and if they’re voting in a municipal election, that’s a sign that they don’t see themselves as just passing through, that Worcester isn’t just a liminal space to them.

That sense of personal investment is key to the city’s political future, which brings us to our sixth lesson from this year’s municipal election: Lead with inclusion. Attacks meant to divide the voting population, especially on racial lines, failed miserably this election, whereas candidates who stressed community involvement in decisionmaking faired extremely well. Just a few weeks ago, that was a tactic that had some old guard political observers shaking their heads, but now, in hindsight, it seems it was the right move: That voters across the city were feeling as though they had no voice in the political making process, at a time that has seen seismic change across the city. Candidates who recognized that, and spoke to it, were rewarded, whereas those who didn’t were either cut loose or given a fairly clear warning for their political futures.

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disposal. If I learned this sooner, I would have had more time to learn ways to give him love and receive love in a way that is comfortable for him. Since mi abuelo is my last living grandparent, I have the urge to express all the love I can while he’s still here to experience it.

It’s never too late though. This time around, I tried something different by recollecting the ways in which he currently shows love and I realized it’s in acts of service. My grandfather says I love you by cooking food. Each time I visited he would offer to make chicken soup. So when I arrived, I intentionally asked him to make his famous soup, while letting him know how much I enjoy it. This made him happy to hear and there was an extra warmness as he served me a bowl.

Also, instead of waiting for him to create space for quality time, I went out of my way to do what he enjoys. I later treated him to dinner at a Dominican restaurant and afterwards we went back to his room to watch the World Series game. He has mentioned his fondness for baseball, so I took the time to learn the sport to be able to converse with him about it. This led me to ask more intimate/personal questions about his life growing up in the Dominican Republic and the political climate of the time. Surprisingly, he was very open and seemed proud that I even asked to share these memories.

I learned so much about Dominican history, mi abuelo’s life, and how to receive love from him. The experience taught me it’s okay to get out of my own comfort zone and enter someone else’s to learn and receive something in return. Also, that everyone expresses love differently and to avoid feeling personally slighted or hurt if it’s not in a way you want to receive love. If one approach doesn’t work, there are other approaches. I feel proud of myself and mi abuelo. Our relationship is stronger because I set an intention and shifted my expectations.

My grandfather says I love you by cooking food. Each time I visited he would offer to make chicken soup. So when I arrived, I intentionally asked him to make his famous soup, while letting him know how much I enjoy it. This made him happy to hear and there was an extra warmness as he served me a bowl. Also, instead of waiting for him to create space for quality time, I went out of my way to do what he enjoys. I later treated him to dinner at a Dominican restaurant and afterwards we went back to his room to watch the World Series game.