A Note for Readers

We have created a rhythm throughout this book between exploring the wisdom of St. Thérèse of Lisieux and considering how it connects with the lives of people today—with your life perhaps. In each chapter, we use Thérèse’s own words to illustrate fundamental elements of the path that she came to call her “Little Way.” In the second part of each chapter, we suggest mentoring messages that contemporary readers might take from the wisdom of Thérèse. We explore how these messages might come alive in today’s world. Many of the examples we use come from real interactions, and others are composites of people and circumstances we know.

We have divided the book into two parts. Part I, “The Healing Vision of Thérèse of Lisieux,” provides a brief biography and description of Thérèse’s treasured vision. It includes information about her experience of freedom from childhood compulsions. It continues through her discovery of the true loving character of God, which awakened in her what human love is and what it is not, an awareness that released her from the bondage of perfectionism. Part I concludes with a description of her personal tendency to value self-reflection and self-awareness as indispensable for a life of meaning and love.

Part II explores in depth the six heart qualities that we identify as essential to Thérèse’s Little Way: inner freedom, compassion, creativity, a willing spirit, gratefulness, and self-surrender. Although these heart qualities are interrelated, each chapter focuses on one particular quality as it arises within the trajectory of Thérèse’s life experience. These six hallmarks of Thérèse’s Little Way are markers of emotional health in the language of psychology. They are also the signal attributes of the spiritual maturity that we see in the life of Jesus and in the lives of other holy people.

Thérèse saw these heart qualities as signs that she was keeping on the path of love and away from violence toward herself or others. These qualities are closely compatible with the wisdom to be found in Twelve Step programs for persons in recovery from substance abuse and for their loved ones. They are the attributes of mature and resilient persons.

Most of the quotations in the text are from Thérèse’s autobiography, The Story of a Soul; others are from her collected letters or her last conversations, as recorded by her companions. Thérèse’s words are capitalized or italicized if they appear that way in her original writing. You will find repetition of some information and themes throughout this book, a necessary overlap as we consider Thérèse’s life from various angles.

We anticipate that you may sense an inner resistance to Thérèse’s use of flowery language and images. This use is simply a reflection of the time in which she lived. You might also find yourself resisting her concept of “littleness.” Thérèse uses the imagery of being like a child, with words like “nothingness” and “littleness,” to describe our reality as creatures before the

mystery of God. This wording might seem dismissive to those who feel marginalized because of race or gender. But Thérèse isn’t suggesting that anyone should be weak or unduly submissive. Far from it. She was a courageous, even stubborn, young woman who was willing to draw boundaries when necessary.

Finally, we sometimes use the word “compulsion” when discussing Thérèse’s childhood experiences. It is a word she didn’t use, but it reflects an aspect of her personality that resonates today in terms of behavioral development. Thérèse understood that her childhood inclination to always be perfect and good was a way of coping with her needs for love and connection to her family. She knew this tendency’s power over her; she was unable to shake it on her own. Thérèse’s “compulsion” in this regard corresponds with the broader contemporary use of that word, and so we use the term in this book.

Mentoring, Not Instruction

A mentor is not the same as a teacher, nor is a mentor a supervisor. A mentor is a trusted advisor who guides a less experienced person by coaching, example, and supportive relationship. The way Thérèse approached those she counseled corresponds well to this contemporary notion of mentoring.

Thérèse served as an unofficial novice mistress (for various reasons, Carmelite rules prohibited her official appointment), guiding new members of her convent community in their spiritual formation. In that role, Thérèse did not usually give others specific instructions to follow. She trusted that

each person would have their own privileged way of growing into the attitudes of heart and mind that lead to an authentic, productive, and loving life. When she shared her insights, Thérèse was direct and at times passionate, but she advised others without scolding, preaching, or being judgmental. Her way of teaching models for us a deep respect for the unique interior life of every person.

When Thérèse mentored others, she offered something to reflect on, perhaps a different perspective. Thérèse’s guidance created a space that allowed something within to shift and to grow. How might we take in her wisdom?

Rather than trying to apply an instruction, we recommend that you allow yourself to be open to the seeds planted by the mentoring messages and then simply be willing to be changed. We don’t suggest working at developing the various heart qualities that we describe. Such a tight grip on the steering wheel of our personal growth is the signature of an ego that is not our fullest, best self.

Our desire for control can become coercive and oppressive. Our attitude toward our personal growth can become one of grasping and directing rather than welcoming, open, receiving, and participating in the journey of life. The tendency to seek control can even masquerade as a spiritual stance.

Thérèse’s gift is her constant discovery of ways to avoid the violence to her own spirit or to others that inevitably results when self-centeredness takes over. Thérèse saw herself as the recipient of grace, of blessings that grew in her when she didn’t let her own preferences block a situation.

A Pathway through This Book

This is a “come as you are” book. There isn’t any preparation necessary other than curiosity and openness. Thérèse invites us to a journey that can change us from the inside out.

As we embark on this reflective venture, we may sense an invitation to sort through the deep hopes in our hearts. What is the yearning within us? What would a meaningful, peaceful, loving life look like? We don’t have to imitate Thérèse exactly; in fact, we couldn’t do that. Each of us has different gifts, limitations, and life circumstances. It is enough to reflect honestly on our own life in the light of the insights Thérèse shares with us and then to act with confidence.

Thérèse assures us that wherever we’re starting from, it’s the right place. We’re not going to get this way of loving and living perfectly right, and that’s okay. We needn’t worry about whether we will stumble on this path of Thérèse’s Little Way: of course we will!

We aren’t perfect; nor was Thérèse. She assures us that she stumbled. Failure is just part of our truth as human persons with weaknesses. Embracing Thérèse’s vision, we can realize that we are loved precisely in our inadequacy. As she wrote toward the end of her life, “I am simply resigned to see myself always imperfect and in this I find my joy.”1

Thérèse’s mentoring will help us live peacefully and compassionately with our own fragile selves and with others. We can learn to deal better with our life situations, summoning courage, creativity, and realism to walk our own little way.