WorkLife Magazine, January 2019

WORKLIFE January 2019

The Problem With Self Care The Leader in 2019

Review These Time Tested Elements for Successful Leadership

Beating Trauma

Trauma Doesn’t Have To Be Permanent And We Show You How

Whose Fault Is It?

We Examine Where Responsibility For Recovery Lies

Have We Become Too Soft?

Gut Feelings

How Your Gut Can Improve Your Levels Of Happiness

Vikas Malkani

Wisdom Secrets for Mental Health and Material Wealth from the World’s #1 Wisdom Coach

FROM FROM THE CEO

“Happy New Year! May 2019 prove to be a prosperous year for you and your loved ones.

So, here we are. 2019. Are you ready? Do you look forward to your brand spanking new year? Now you have before you, over 300 days for you to live life to the full. Right?

Well, everyone does. But most don’t really know what to do with their year and, for those rare ones that know what they want, most don’t know how to get it done.

One thing is for sure. The world is in dire need of a good dose of Wisdom for 2019. There are intense pressures on people these days. We are living more disconnected lives, while we are more connected to technology and social media. The suicide rate is worrisome and the end doesn’t seem nigh.

Interestingly, we KNOW a lot about ‘stuff’ but we don’t seem to be any better at having insight as to what’s truly good for us. Hence, the need for wisdom.

This month is Wisdom month. Why? Because, as we’ve all experienced with past New Year resolutions, knowing how to do something is not enough to get it done. We need something else and, we now know, it’s wisdom. That’s why you’ll love our feature interview and article with Vikas Malkani, whom I call Mr Wisdom. Check it out.

Peter D ia CEO - z Wor Mentakl place H Instituteealth

What else will you find in this issue of WorkLife?

• New Year, New Leader, we examine the building blocks to a fiercely loyal, highly successful and crazy- motivated employees • STOP doing Bucket Lists and start doing Reverse Bucket Lists – complete game changers • Find out the truth about trauma, and how to heal it • The Problem with Self Care • and Why We Avoid Taking Responsibility for Recovery Truly packed to the brim with practical know-how and Wisdom.

Enjoy and have a mentally healthy 2019.

PS Be kind to each other

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Mr Wisdom, Vikas Malkani

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By Peter Diaz

When sitting down with the world’s number one wisdom coach, Vikas Malkani, it seemed obvious that the first question would be about how to explain ‘wisdom’.

Malkani, also described as the ‘Steve Jobs of Wisdom’, both present and mindful, offered a simple explanation.

Your life is expressed as a car, perhaps a very nice car – a Ferrari.

“The car is my life, the engine that drives the car is my mind, and the fuel that drives the engine is wisdom”.

He explains that you can have a very nice looking car, a powerful engine that controls acceleration, turning and braking, but that doesn’t run very well because of the poor quality of fuel that is added to the engine.

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“So put very simply, what is wisdom? It is the understanding of life, of yourself, of others, and of the big picture. It is about how your mindset is developed, it’s about who you are and about other people around you.”

Let’s just pause and overlay that analogy on the structure of an organisation or company. The body is the company and its assets, the brain is the team that carries out the actions required for the company to operate (employees, contractors, managers, executives), and the mind is the CEO or the board of directors, providing the vision, navigation and responsibility for the direction of the organisation. It makes sense that Malkani has coached the teams and CEOs of companies such as Rolls Royce, Proctor & Gamble, Nike and Seimens.

It seems that knowledge has often been mistaken for wisdom. I offer Malkani my ideas

on knowledge being developed and stored by the left brain, whilst wisdom is developed by putting the right brain in charge.

Our discussion moves to mental health, and the apparent eagerness with which mental health conditions are treated in the body and the brain through pharmaceutical interventions, with seemingly less enthusiasm about recovery through wisdom.

“The oldest understanding of the human being on our planet comes from the field of meditation, which talks about the fact that the thoughts I have in my mind literally changes everything else in my body, in my system”, says Malkani.

“If I am producing a lot of negative thoughts, my body is going to respond chemically. My chemical composition begins to change by the thoughts in my head. When that chemical composition changes a person begins to feel differently. In other words, we are chemical human beings, but before we are chemical human beings we are also human beings of thought.

“Through meditation, by understanding how your mind functions, and training your mind to be more positive, to be more peaceful, you will not only see benefits in your mental health but also in your physical health, and then in the health of your company.”

A large body of research into the effects of meditation shows the benefits for those who are well, and also for those who are unwell in recovery. What is Malkani’s explanation for how meditation works?

Malkani explains to me that meditation is not wisdom, but an instrument of wisdom. We meditate to bring wisdom into our lives.

One of the core teachings in his Meditation Made Simple program is that there are three parts in the journey to growth.

1. Wisdom – understanding who you are, and for this you need a coach or mentor; 2. Tools and techniques of meditation; and 3. Application and disciplined practice of the tools and techniques.

What Malkani is saying is making a lot of sense, but what is his take on the argument by those that say we are not in control of our thoughts, that they just happen?

“That in itself is a thought, the fact that you are saying you are not in control of your thoughts is a thought itself. But choosing to hold on to that thought is not the right decision because it brings with itself the opposite of empowerment.

In other words, you become a victim and you say, ‘well, I can’t do anything about what’s going on’ so what we need to do is flip that part and say, ‘I can be in control of my thoughts’ and go from ‘I can’, to ‘I will’, and then ‘I am’.”

“Let’s think of a child that has just been born, a new-borne baby. They have no particular way of thinking, they don’t have a mindset yet. A mindset is developed essentially based on the experiences we have and the circumstances we are surrounded by. And that’s called conditioning.

So my circumstances and my conditioning create my mindset. People coming from different parts of the world have a different way of thinking.

Changing what I believe about the world, literally changes my mindset and therefore it will change everything else in my life.”

I have to wonder if this is easier for people who have lived a good life, a life in wealthier or optimal conditions.

“At the age of 14, I had seen the extremes of life.

I had seen the extremely successful and wealthy people, and I had also seen immense suffering and unhappiness inside the same human beings. I saw people who were pretending to be what they were not. I began to question as a 14 year old boy, this is not how life should be. That brought me to a great understanding. “Wealth without wisdom is failure, and wisdom without wealth is frustration” Malkani explains the stabilising nature of developing wisdom, “There is nothing else that

Flip that part and say, ‘I can be in control of my thoughts’, and go from ‘I can’, to ‘I will’, and then ‘I am’.

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“You are the author of your own life story.”

We live in a world we cannot control. Live we people we cannot control. We cannot control every result of every action that you take, no matter who you are. You cannot control your external world. The only thing you can control is your responses to it, and that’s where wisdom says to you, if you want to maintain your inner harmony, your peace, your status of equanimity, if you want to maintain that happiness (not ecstasy), then have that wisdom. Acquire those tools and techniques, and that practice, and once you do that, no matter what goes on around you, you still are in control of the way you are feeling. will bring peace and stability and happiness on a consistent basis. It’s not other people, it’s not relationships, it’s not business, it’s not your results, it’s not the bank account you own, it’s not even your health, because all of those things will go up and down up and down. The only thing that is yours to keep forever is wisdom, acquire wisdom – optimize your life.”

Most of us are ‘fine’ most of the time, but then something happens and it is hard to be happy all of the time, it isn’t even reasonable to be happy all the time.

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“You are the author of your own life story. We are creating our life, it is not written down, it is not pre-destined, we are writing the story of our life every day by the thoughts we have and the actions we take.”

Vikas Malkani’s workshop “Wealth, Wisdom and Winning” with John Rankins (The Millionaire Maker) is coming to Melbourne, Sydney, Gold Coast and Brisbane in 2019. His workshop has already been shared in the Philippines, Singapore, Indonesia, Dubai. To attend his three-hour event, or his two-day MasterMind coaching program, click here for details.

family’, or whatever the case may be. This is about setting your focus going forward, on what is really important for you.

5 Proven Techniques To Help You Start (And Finish) The New Year Mentally Strong

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There is something about the idea of a ‘fresh start’ that seems to really appeal to us homo sapiens. In reality, we all know that we needn’t wait for a new year to make positive changes in our lives, but nonetheless, each year we celebrate the passing of another year.

If it was good we celebrate how good it was, if it was not so good, we celebrate that it is over, and we have a nice clean slate to begin a new year, with hope and determination to make it better than the last.

So why not take advantage of that milestone? Why not use the opportunity and the extra bit of natural motivation, to start the new year on the right foot. And even better, why not set it up in a way to finish it strong too.

Here are our Top 5 tips to starting (and finishing) any year strong: 1. The Reverse Bucket List This is one of my favourite activities, and it has become an annual ritual in our household.

At the end of the old year, grab a pen and paper and make a list of everything you have accomplished that year, in all areas of life: career, finances, health, spirituality, family,

friends, hobbies, and so on. But don’t just include ‘achievements’, include every cool experience you’ve had, every difficult challenge you have made it through. If it helps, pull out your calendar or your photos, and remind yourself of just how much you have experienced that year. I guarantee you, you will be surprised just how much you’ve done. Then celebrate it.

2. The Wishlist And then, make a ‘wishlist’ for the year ahead. Make a list of all the things that would be great to experience in the coming year.

It doesn’t have to be realistic – it’s a wishlist after all. But make sure you have some things in all areas of life, and just put it out there to the universe, that you wouldn’t mind those things if they happened to come your way.

3. Focus on what’s important Identify your top priorities for the New Year. They don’t have to be fully formed goals, although they could be. But it can be as simple as identifying the top 5 values to focus on for now. Some people do this in the form of a word, or mantra for themselves for the coming year. For example, perhaps you declare the New Year ‘the year of ‘appreciation’, or ‘the year of

4. Get Support To achieve those outcomes you have decided to focus on, identify any training you need, and where you can get that.

Get a coach or mentor who can hold you accountable and help you to overcome the inevitable obstacles and challenges on the way.

5. Break it down To ensure you last the distance throughout the year, you have to break it all down into the tiniest steps and actions possible.

The reason so many ‘new years resolutions’ don’t last is because we over commit early on, and we exhaust ourselves. Instead, do one small step each day, and it will add up to 365 actions over the course of a year. So once you’ve set your intention for the year, forget it, don’t stress about it, and just make sure you’re doing the small steps each day, making sure to celebrate, appreciate and enjoy being in the moment, truly living each day.

By doing the above, you will give your New Year a powerful start. Try it. You’ll notice the new energy immediately.

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Set yourself up for leadership success in 2019

By Kylie Mamouney Perhaps the question to ask yourself is, “Are my team fiercely loyal, highly successful and motivated – can we rely on our whole team to collectively achieve results, rather than individuals, or do I experience higher staff turnover, and unmotivated employees that don’t consistently achieve their results or hit targets?”

While disappointing, the second scenario, is far more common than most of us would like to admit.

Leadership expert James MacGregor Burns initially introduced the concept of transformational leadership in his book, “Leadership”. According to Burns, transformational leadership can be seen when “leaders and followers collaborate with each other to raise one another to a higher level of morality and motivation.” This kind of leader tends to focus on: • Individualised consideration, meaning they show genuine concern for their people while encouraging them with support and recognition • Intellectual stimulation, by challenging their people, setting high expectations and having clear goals • Inspirational motivation, being able to tap into their people’s intrinsic drive, knowing what makes them tick - both personally and professionally and by taking that drive and helping their people look beyond their own selfinterest to achieve collective outcomes

• Idealised influence, having the ability to serve as a role model with both integrity and fairness, stirring the emotions of their people and inspiring them to reach for the improbable.

What’s most interesting is the link between successful leaders with above average Emotional Intelligence (EQ-i) and Transformational Leadership. There have been two key studies that illustrate this, which were undertaken to assess the EQ of top performing CEOs in 1998. Results indicated five subscales that were considered of importance to leadership as shown in the table below. Fast forward 15 years to 2013 and the results are almost completely different as to what helps fuel leadership success. Just see for yourself…

Early Study (1998)

Recent Study (2013)

Independence

Flexibility

Assertiveness

Reality Testing

Optimism

Emotional Self Awareness

Self-Actualisation

Assertiveness

Self-Regard

Emotional Expression

As the approach to our teams goes far beyond just ‘managing’, it is becoming increasingly important to understand what motivates and inspires our people to go the extra mile and bring all of themselves to our workplace. The good news is that transformational leadership can be developed through understanding our own level of Emotional intelligence and having the desire to hold our mirror up, reflect and adapt to the world we find ourselves in.

What are your thoughts on what the next 15 years in leadership may look like? Are you feeling equipped to lead your people into the future in an ever-changing environment?

Contact Kylie Mamouney.

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5 reasons why we don’t take responsibility

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Often discussed in terms of addiction, but relevant to most mental health challenges, responsibility is a central tenant for recovery.

A 2012 survey of people who have recovered from mental health problems and addiction has highlighted the very important role that personal responsibility plays in recovery, being identified as one of five key influences in the recovery process. Despite this, there continues to be a disproportionate reliance on external support, and a reluctance to think of and talk about mental health challenges in personal recovery terms. Let’s look at some of the reasons this may be.

We mistake comfort for recovery Numbing the raw emotional edge, or physical pain, doesn’t equate to recovery. The burden for recovery is often placed in medication. Whilst it may be a necessary intervention in the acute phase, morphine doesn’t heal a broken bone, it just masks the discomfort whilst the body does the healing. The same can be applied to many

of the common mental health conditions.

We often confuse responsibility with blame, or fault.

When we hear the word “responsible”, we have a tendency to interpret it as ‘fault’ or ‘blame’. Responsibility has nothing to do with blame, or the past. Response-ability has everything to do with what happens now. What is your ‘response’? What is your ‘ability’ to ‘respond’ to these circumstances?

We equate responsibility with less freedom The concept of responsibility carries a weight with it for many people, akin to ‘burden’ or ‘obligation’. Like no longer having the freedom to party with friends during the

week because you’ve got ‘responsibilities’. It is hard work to rewrite conditioned thoughts and behaviour. There is another burden though, one that is felt acutely in every episode of depression or anxiety or withdrawal. The feeling that someone achieves when they take on the responsibility of their recovery is far more rewarding than the avoidance they had been mistaking as freedom.

Recovery is mistaken as Return In The Wizard of Oz, it was Dorothy who had the power to return to her home from the moment she arrived in Oz, not Glinda the Good Witch, and not the snake-oil selling Wizard. According to Glinda, she needed to experience growth in herself before she could leave Oz. The process of recovery is sometimes misconstrued as ‘things returning to the way they were’. It’s rare that this is likely, or helpful in the concept of recovery. Personal responsibility in recovery leads to shifts in thinking style, paradigms and identity, that can lead a new and better ‘normal’, with new coping mechanisms to deal with future challenges.

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Healing Trauma

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When a flesh wound occurs, it is often through some kind of trauma to the skin and body. A gash, a burn, or an infection.

The trauma itself passes fairly quickly in most cases, allowing the body to begin the process of healing. The wound has healed when the body has returned to a functional state – no longer bleeding, healthy tissue has replaced unhealthy tissue, growth of new cells has occurred to mend the wound.

But that doesn’t mean that everything has returned to the way it was before. Often there are scars to show for significant trauma, just as there are lasting indicators of psychological trauma beyond the return to a functional state.

Healing often means learning to live with, and integrate, the trauma as a past experience in one’s life. The experience can never be reversed, instead the goal is to experience life in the present and not have the past trauma continue to hijack emotions, thoughts and behaviour in each new day.

Early intervention – but not too early Just before the turn of the last century, the scientific evidence pointed to value

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in psychological debriefing within days of the traumatic event occurring. The current research, however, tells us that the initial response should focus on practical and emotional support, ensuring safety, ongoing monitoring, practical information, and encouragement of adaptive social and personal coping strategies. Studies suggest that pharmaceutical treatment is not advised in the first four weeks after trauma unless the person’s distress is unable to be managed through psychological and social support.

Interestingly, research has identified no differences in treatment efficacy for those receiving early or delayed treatment. Due to the stress and life impact that PTSD causes, early treatment is advisable, whilst remembering that treatment for those who experienced trauma a considerable length of time ago can be equally as effective.

Therapeutic Approaches Trauma-focussed treatments involve helping trauma sufferers to confront traumatic memories in a controlled environment, in a manner that enables them to challenge and modify any distorted memories or

thoughts, and beliefs that may be impeding their recovery.

Two examples of trauma focussed treatments are Trauma Focussed Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (TF-CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR).

EMDR: This involves imaginal exposure (recalling events) whilst stimulation occurs to the left and right field of the individual through eye movements, tapping, or tones (visual, kinesthetic or auditory stimulation). The stimulation continues until the level

Art Therapy: There is evidence that art therapy can moderately reduce depression and anxiety symptoms associated with psychological trauma, however evidence that art therapy can reduce depression after physical trauma is limited. The longterm efficacy of art therapy isn’t established, suggesting that it may be useful in combination with other therapies.

The future of healing?

MDMA: 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine (let’s make

Early researchers claimed that one MDMA-assisted session could result in improvements similar to those attained over five months of weekly traditional therapy.

Whilst there have been no known long-term side effects in the use of MDMA as an aid to therapy, it is worth noting that clinically administered MDMA is substantially different from the street drug known as ecstasy. MDMA is the main psychoactive substance in ecstasy, and is combined in varying proportions with other often harmful or deadly substances.

Energy Psychology: Whilst not a field that is established and recognised by many professionals in the field of trauma in Australia, the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology is a bona-fide provider of training (with continuous education points) for the American Psychological Association.

of distress associated with the imaginal exposure decreases.

TF-CBT: This therapy involves learning relaxation strategies such as breathing techniques and progressive muscle relaxation to reduce high levels of emotional arousal, whilst also guiding the sufferer through various levels of imaginal exposure, and physical exposure to places or activities that the individual avoids due to distress. In addition, cognitive therapy explores and challenges unhelpful interpretations and beliefs regarding the trauma and recovery.

life easier, and call it MDMA from this point on) is currently being used in clinical trials of PTSD treatments. Not intended to be used as a prescription in isolation, the drug is administered in controlled conditions as an adjunct to talk therapy (in groups and individually).

MDMA appears to reduce anxiety associated with recalling traumatic experiences. This allows for the therapist and the patient to productively engage in therapeutic discussions without the patient becoming hyper-aroused due to stress.

In its 21st annual conference this year, the program for the International Energy Psychology Conference has more than ten sessions and keynote presentations specifically addressing the use of energy psychology methods in trauma recovery.

Interventions include Thought Field Tapping (also referred to as Emotional Field Tapping), ‘Parts’ integration therapy, Story, or ‘Narrative’ approaches to therapy, and healing through elemental or chakra therapy, among others.

Whilst these ideas seem new and odd to many in Western society, aa number of approaches have been drawn from Eastern or ancient wisdom. Whether the benefits of these therapies are indeed based on energetic processes or placebo is a matter that is often hotly debated.

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Gut Feelings

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Think you’re alone? You’re not. Trillions of microbacteria live in your gastrointestinal system and they are crawling over your skin. These nearinvisible organisms make up your microbiota, and the human environs they inhabit are collectively known as your microbiome.

How do we create that healthy gut biome? What destroys a good biome? How is the gut linked to happiness? What works against good gut health?

According to researchers, several thousands of types of bacteria make up a healthy gut. Each person’s microbiota is unique, and is constantly changing due to diet, environment, behavioural

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patterns, and age, among other influences. It is impacted by the type of birth we had. Vaginal borne babies have a different microbiota profile than those born via caesarean section, just as breast fed babies have a different microbiota profile than formula-fed babies. As we age, the number of microbiota species in our microbiome decreases.

There are some unhealthy bacteria, but the majority of micro-organisms in the human microbiome are necessary to create the type of environment that stimulates the production of the neurotransmitter serotonin, essential in moderating mood and sleep.

The link between the gut and the brain was proposed in a study that reported an impaired stress response in germ-free mice. Other studies using germ-free mice not only supported this link, but also the idea that it reaches into the endocrine, neural, and immune systems.

Scientists have recently examined the effect of the microbiome on disorders of the central nervous system, including depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia.

During the diagnosis of my auto-immune condition several years ago, my GP predicted, “doctors will be prescribing diets for treatment of autoimmune conditions in ten years”.

a three-week probiotic treatment. Subjects in the bottom third of the elated/depressed Why is everyone talking about inflammation scale demonstrated the most improvement and leaky gut? with treatment. These patients rated an overall happier mood on daily analogue scales using Inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract six dimensions of mood including energetic/ triggers a response that increases permeability tired, composed/anxious, elated/depressed, of intestinal walls. This, put simply, means that clearheaded/muddled, confident/unsure, and the processes that are normally contained within agreeable/angry. the gastrointestinal tract can ‘leak’ out, becoming an unfamiliar invader into the surrounding parts In some studies, probiotics were found to have of the human body. This can cause the body effectively mitigated anxiety and depressive to begin to attack the rogue, out-of-bounds symptoms at a level similar to prescription molecules.” medications. These findings point to the potential value of a healthy microbiome, particularly the Furthermore, during inflammation the presence gut microbiota, to assist in the prevention of and of certain mobilising factors in the gut (called recovery from anxiety and depression. Whilst cytokines) increase the permeability of the researchers are sharing common findings in blood-brain barrier, impacting brain function and relation to healthy gut microbiota, more research leading to anxiety, depression and memory loss. is necessary to make conclusions about specific treatments, such as those involving probiotics, at What triggers the release of these cytokines? this point.

In a word, Endotoxins. These are toxins stored within a bacterial cell that is released when A systematic review of all the human studies the cell disintegrates. In one study, endotoxin showed the majority do not show any effect infusions were given to healthy human subjects of probiotics on mood, stress or symptoms of with no history of depressive disorders. The mental illness. infusions triggered cytokine release and the subjects began to display classical depressive On the plus side, large studies show us that symptoms. people who eat a balanced diet with all the usual good stuff (fibre, fresh fruit and Cytokines also play a key role in stimulating vegetables) have lower rates of mental illness the central nervous system, in which excessive as adults and adolescents. activity can lead to anxiety and depressive symptoms. The good news is that, in both animal During the diagnosis of my auto-immune and human studies, probiotics have demonstrated condition several years ago, my GP predicted, the potential to diminish the hypothalamus, “doctors will be prescribing diets for treatment pituitary and adrenal response. of autoimmune conditions in ten years.” The research is yet to be considered and approved Can the damage from gut inflammation be by regulatory bodies for prescription purposes. reversed?

Until that time, there is no harm to come from seeking appropriate guidance from a Early studies are promising. Participants in a nutritionist or dietitian in relation to healthy study suffering from chronic stress were given gut biomes.

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THE PROBLEM WITH SELF CARE

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A pernicious wind is blowing through western mental health. It’s the idea that we are fragile and that we should be kinder with ourselves. Let me explain. Most of my patients in practice are not there because they’ve been too tough with themselves, if anything they’ve been far too kind and accommodating in one specific area: self care, or the lack thereof. And it’s a trend on the increase, that promises to hurt millions of people.

Low Challenge + Low Support = Boring You don’t have any real challenges or demands placed on you, work is easy, and your pretty much left to your own devices to do it. You don’t have any nurturing or supportive people or activities. You’re just existing. This is boring.

High Challenge + High Support = High Performance You are learning new things regularly, you are stretched to reach further, and achieve even better results. At the same time, you have good solid support structures in place to help you get there. This is the zone of high performance. This is where you want to be.

Let’s explore this through an interesting leadership lens. Stay with me, you’ll see the relevance soon.

This model of leadership explains that there needs to be a balance between ‘supporting’ staff, and ‘challenging staff’, which havs principles that transfer over to self care. Why am I talking to you about leadership in self care? Because, in order to do self care properly, you have to be your own leader. No one else can do it for you.

Think of the following four situations:

High Challenge + Low Support = Stress You are faced with high demands, new things to learn, complex problems to solve, but you are not given much emotional or practical support to meet those demands. That can be stressful.

Low Challenge + High Support = Status Quo You don’t have a lot of demands placed on you, in fact you don’t have enough things to do, or it’s just very repetitive, easy work, and you have a lot of emotional and practical support around you, which is nice, but you don’t need it. This maintains the status quo. It may feel good in the moment, but doesn’t help you grow and achieve long term.

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Like it or not, you are a leader. When it comes to self care, you are leading yourself. If you want to be confident, happy, grow, have the edge, then you’re going to need to challenge yourself, to push through those times when you may not feel motivated, experience discomfort or even pain, and do the things that scare you. Of course, to do that, you need to make sure you are also providing yourself the support and nurture you need. Like a high performance athlete, you need a strong work ethic AND you need the best nutrition, medical team, recovery time. It’s about getting the balance right for you. For most people, they need to up the ante. They are being too soft. What about you?