WorkLife - June 2019

June 2019

Meet The Compassion Thief Are You Burnt-out?

With a cost of $190 Billion worldwide, it’s time to tackle this 21st Century scourge

ERIC Behanzin From crippling fear to world class confidence

This one single element can rob you of much needed compassion and make you hard

15 Simple Tips To Be Healthy

15 practical tips for healthy living for students and the budget conscious

Kids, Social Media and Anxiety How social media is making our kids hurt themselves and have thoughts of suicide

FROM FROM THE CEO

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How are you going? Are you ok? We are now mid year and you are probably busy. Are you managing to live a little too? I hope so, it’s good for your mental health.

At the Workplace Mental Health Institute we are painfully aware of the impact of this modern daily life on people. Some thrive. Many do well. Most ‘cope’ (whatever that means), and seems like an ever increasing lot is experiencing stress. How about you? How about your loved ones? Your colleagues?

We pay careful attention to this in our June Issue. The issue this month is brilliant. But don’t just take my word for it: • I have the best interview of my professional life with Eric Behanzin, an interesting person you’ll be glad to meet in this article • We examine the epidemic of burnout that is plaguing our global family • Students need all the help they can get too, it’s hard to be healthy on a budget and when you are so busy, we have an article here specially for you • We take a look at something that is making us less compassionate and, hence, hurting our ability to empathise • and some more...

I’m sure you’ll find something exquisite in this issue. I’m dying of curiosity to know what that is, will you let me know please?

Enjoy and have a mentally healthy day!

Peter D ia CEO - z Wor Mentakl place H Instituteealth

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ERIC Behanzin

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Lessons from 12 Days alone without food or water When you meet Eric, the time slows down. He doesn’t have a phone, he’s quiet, almost as if he were in a constant meditative trance.

You can just tell he spends a lot of time in his head.

Yet, when he greets you, his smile fills the room and you can just tell it’s from the heart. It’s a nice balance. It’s peaceful.

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It’s difficult to summarize Eric Behanzin’s accomplishments in just one sentence. He’s a professional singer and music producer.

He’s a business coach who specialises in Explosive Growth (he himself went from 0 to 5.2 million USD in sales in just 18 months), and his company is in 21 cities around the world.

He’s a philanthropist whose charity has founded schools for hundred’s of orphans in Togo. And yet none of these credentials adequately capture my friend, Eric.

I had the opportunity to sit down with Eric in Paris recently, and talk a little about his life, and about the journey which inspired his

Keep saying ‘yes’, taking on activities which are outside your comfort zone. Each time you achieve something which is a little scary, it builds your confidence – even if you don’t do it very well.

The more times you do it, the better you get at it, and the better you get at facing your fears. book ‘12 Days’. Eric wrote the book while fasting in a small French village for 12 days straight! That may seem quite extreme, and he definitely doesn’t recommend that most people do it, but it provided him with some very interesting insights about himself, business, health and life in general.

It was a fascinating conversation, which you can watch here.

Our conversation left me thinking about some of the key themes from his story, which also arise time and time again in our work with clients:

How a person can overcome crippling shyness to develop a strong confidence.

Eric talks about how shy he was as a teenager, and yet he kept seeming to take on projects which seem completely at odds with being a shy person – telemarketing for example, and then performing as a singer in front of tens of thousands of people.

Strategy: Keep saying ‘yes’,

taking on activities which are outside your comfort zone. Each time you achieve something which is a little scary, it builds your confidence – even if you don’t do it very well. The more times you do it, the better you get at it, and the better you get at facing your fears.

We also spoke about how, as a singer especially, Eric’s passion overcame the shyness. That’s really important too. When our ‘WHY’ is really strong, when we have a compelling reason to do something, we tend to do whatever it takes, including stepping outside of our shyness, to achieve it.

Strategy: Focus on WHY you want to do something.

What will it give you or others? Build up that passion inside of you until you simply HAVE to say yes.

And finally, Eric explains that as he became more and

more focussed on what he could give to others – his audiences, or his music students, he became less focussed on, and even forgot his own shyness.

Psychologically speaking, we know this is one of the most effective strategies for overcoming shyness. When you get out of your own head, and instead focus on the other person, get curious, ask questions about them, the shyness disappears.

This is a great tip for public speaking too, by the way.

Strategy: Remember that most people are focussed on themselves, not you.

Rather than thinking ‘what will they think of me?’, ask yourself ‘what can I give to them?’,’ How can I make them feel good?’, ‘What do they need to know here?’.

Our human experiences of lack and abundance Fasting for 12 days straight, you might be inclined to think of that experience as an experience of ‘lacking’, and yet as Eric explains, he actually discovered through that process just how much abundance there is, and that there are more important things for the body than food. As Eric says “I am not alive because I eat. I am alive because someone is breathing life inside of me.”

Focus on WHY you want to do something. What will it give you or others? Build up that passion inside of you until you simply HAVE to say yes.

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Ask yourself ‘what am I really afraid of here?’. Once we can really identify what the fear is, often we see that it is very unlikely, or there are measures we can put in place to prevent it in the unlikely event it occurred, or that it really wouldn’t be that bad anyway.

Similarly in life, how often do we feel like we are lacking in something, and we become anxious and stressed to get it (more money, a bigger better house, the new gadget, toy, or outfit). And yet we have houses full of clutter and stuff. Perhaps we need to realise how much we truly have already.

Strategy: Practice active, daily, appreciation and gratitude for what you have already, both material and non-material things.

And on the flip side, when we are stressed about something, we so often turn to consumption as a way of placating the stress.

Whether that is a big bowl of ice-cream or comfort food, or whether that is as a consumer of retail therapy.

What if we were to deal with our stress in a different way?

Strategy: When we are stressed, ask ourselves ‘how important is this really?’ Do I really need this to be happy, or am I just trying to soothe a part of me?”

Fear of Death In Eric’s case, the fear of death was quite literal, but it is thought in existential psychology that all fears, all anxieties, are ultimately a fear of death or disappearing. Humans are programmed for survival, not happiness. And so our mind works in ways that are aimed at protecting us and keeping us safe (and alive), but not necessarily happy.

For example, if you trace back any worry or fear, you can basically get to a concern for survival. What if I am late on that deadline?

Well, I may get in trouble, and if that happens too often I may lose my job, and then I won’t be able to pay my mortgage, and then I won’t have anywhere to live, and I might not survive!

Of course, we don’t always consciously think through that whole process, but the theorists say that that’s what’s going on at the subconscious level.

Strategy: Ask yourself ‘what am I really afraid of here?’.

Once we can really identify what the fear is, often we see that it is very unlikely, or there are measures we can put in place to prevent it in the unlikely event it occurred, or that it really wouldn’t be that bad anyway.

I can’t do our conversation justice in a few short pages, so I highly recommend you do watch the interview and see what you think for yourself. For me, it was definitely food for thought!

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What can employers and managers be doing to address the risks of burnout in the workplace?

• Create a sense of purpose, vision, and meaning for each role.

• Provide the resources and training to ensure that workers are able to do their job effectively.

BURNOUT IN THE WORKPLACE

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Working is good for mental wellbeing, but a negative working environment can lead to health issues, both physical and mental.

According to the World Health Organisation, occupational risks to mental health include: • inadequate health and safety policies; • poor communication and management practices; • limited participation in decision-making or low control over one’s area of work; • low levels of support for employees; • inflexible working hours; and • unclear tasks or organizational objectives.

In May, the World Health Organisation expanded the details of its classification of ‘burnout’ in the International Classification of Diseases (11th Revision) as a syndrome,

specifically related to chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.

The classification is QD85. See more about the classification system here.

The syndrome is characterised by the following three factors; • Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion • Increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job • Reduced professional efficacy.

And there’s a cost to the burnout: Overwhelming stress in the workplace contributes to 120,000 deaths each year and cost U.S. businesses up to $190 billion in health care costs, according to researchers at the Harvard Business School and Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business (2016).

• Don’t contact employees about work outside of their regular work hours.

One reason workers may experience this syndrome may be the increasing globalization and technology use, which compel 24/7 connectivity, creating an environment in which it is difficult to disengage from work and achieve a balance of work, rest and play.

• Encourage workers to take annual leave. Recognise the symptoms of burnout (cynicism, exhaustion, ineffectiveness), and make reasonable adjustments to allow them to take time off work if you can.

• Consider a change in roles and responsibilities.

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Tension

Prevention can limiting screen time make the difference?

Dr Lori Vann, a clinical psychologist based in the US state of Texas, believes that social media is playing a role in both non-suicidal self-injury, and suicide attempts in teens and young adults.

Vann, an authority in the prevention and treatment of self-injury, is interested in the causes and impact of anxiety on the younger population.` “Without a doubt, the number of cases of anxiety, in all its many forms, has increased during the last ten plus years. There have been so many more cases of students coming into my office with panic attacks, social anxiety disorders, generalized anxiety disorders, perfectionism, insomnia, depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-injury than I have seen in the beginning part of my 20-year history as a clinician� says Vann.

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Dr Vann recognises the impact of social modelling on the development (or lack thereof) of effective coping strategies for anxiety, pointing to the use of substances, inactivity, or online gaming as common means to “take the edge off” after a stressful day at work.

Campbell from San Diego State University and the University of Georgia, say time spent on smartphones is a serious but avoidable cause of mental health issues.

“Care givers role model how to respond to life and kids are the sponges who absorb every action or word. There is a potential risk of generational stress management issues,” explains Vann.

“Half of mental health problems develop by adolescence. There is a need to identify factors linked to mental health issues that are [able to be changed] in this population, as most are difficult or impossible to influence. How children and adolescents spend their leisure time is [easier] to change.”

Screen time may be playing a significant part in the increase in mental health conditions.

This year the World Health Organisation decided to include gaming disorder in the 11th revision of the International Classification of Diseases.

Twenge’s study, one of the biggest of its kind, endorses a screen time limit of one hour per day for children aged two to five – echoing guidelines established by the American Academy of Pediatrics’ – and two hours for older children and adolescents.

A tendency towards narcissistic engagement with social media is identified by Vann as a contributing factor to the increase in anxiety and unhealthy stress management behaviours of adolescents and young adults.

The study examined data on more than 40,000 US children aged two to 17 for a nationwide health survey in 2016. The questionnaire used in the study asked about the children’s medical care, any emotional, developmental or behavioural issues, and their daily screen time.

“The advent of iPhones, iTunes, and iPods placed the focus on an “I” or, more accurately, a “me, me, me,” world mentality.

With easy access to post every action or thought to a somewhat imaginary audience that we think is waiting with bated breath for each post we offer up, we soon find disappointment in the lacklustre response that most posts receive.”

Researchers, Professor Jean Twenge and Professor Keith

Adolescents spending more than seven hours a day on screens are twice as likely to have been diagnosed with anxiety or depression as those who spent an hour. Published in the journal Preventative Medicine Reports, the professors expressed particular interest in links between screen time and diagnoses of anxiety and depression in youngsters, which have not yet been studied in great detail.

Dr Vann suggests a few quick tips for controlling social media use instead of it controlling you.

Check your mindset.

If you are posting to look for affirmations, accolades, or some type of confirmation that you are a worthwhile person, then don’t post.

You cannot let your identity, behaviours, or emotional well-being be determined by the number of “likes” that you receive. Do not give others that much control over your life.

Determine how much time you will spend on social media and then set a timer.

Unless you are in marketing and working on a project, it is suggested that you limit social media time to10minute increments. The risk with spending too much time online is that it can lead to a sedentary lifestyle, decrease your energy level, allow you to get caught up in some meaningless quiz, debate, or drama, and it can be just a plain waste time that you could have used improving yourself.

Incorporate exercise into my social media activities.

Vann suggests walking in place as you read through messages. “I have often been surprised with how much time has passed by the time I am finished scrolling through posts, but also feel like I at least accomplished something physically healthy by walking instead of sitting.”

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COMPARISON is the thief of

COMPASSION

By Alison Skate

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You’ve heard the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy”, referring to the concept of the grass being greener on the other side of the fence.

When it comes to reducing stigma around common mental health issues, comparison can also play a large role in robbing us of compassion. This happens more commonly than you may realise, and not always because the comparison is made without an intent to be helpful.

I experienced this first hand as a sufferer of hyperemesis gravidarum, many years ago. It is a condition that affects about 1% of pregnant women and sees them functionally incapacitated due to severe morning sickness. Many women experience nausea and vomiting during pregnancy, but not many will become unable to function in multiple areas of their lives. In hospital for six weeks, on a drip for hydration and nutrients, I often heard the ‘comparison’.

Cleaners would enter my room, and with good intention would start up a conversation about my condition.

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CLEANER: “Oh, you got morning sickness, Love?”

ME: “Yep, although definitely not contained to the morning.”

CLEANER: “I remember when I was pregnant… We used to just carry a bucket, throw up, empty it out, and get on with the rest our jobs.”

Whilst their intention was quite probably to make me feel I was not alone, and that things would eventually get better, their comparison of our pregnancies made me feel completely isolated and misunderstood, even ashamed at times that I was just not as resilient as they had been. Sometimes I wanted to try to explain it to them, to get them to understand the experience I was having (which was never very successful), but mostly I just began to disengage from others who I felt would not understand.

Mine was not a mental health condition (although it did eventually lead to

perinatal depression), but it demonstrates the ineffectiveness of comparison as a means of understanding someone else’s experience.

Mental health challenges develop as the result of a large variety of influences – physical illness, difficult life experiences, social toxicity, cultural isolation, trauma, environmental factors and even nutritional deficiencies, to name a few. Trying to compare one person’s response to any of these influences to another person’s response is like trying to compare snowflakes – they are classified as the same thing, but each one is entirely unique.

The “I know” (what you’re experiencing) approach is a form of judgement.

Judgement closes down conversations in the process of mental health recovery.

Sometimes it leads to repeated attempts to explain the hopelessness of the experience – we are often asked about this, in the context of what to do when someone is “seeking attention”.

If we changed the phrase it would become easier; instead of seeking attention, we need to recognise this as seeking understanding, and support.

If the concerns are raised repeatedly, chances are the individual does not feel understood or supported.

WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Why don’t you just….. (fill in the blank with suggestion)” This oversimplifies a problem that is far more complex for the individual than most understand.

“I know exactly how you feel….. (insert personal story)” This isn’t the time to be talking about you. Turn the focus of the conversation to understanding their experience.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…. (or anything you read on Facebook this morning)” This clearly denotes discomfort with the topic and a desire to shut down the conversation.

TRY THIS INSTEAD: “It sounds like you’re really having a difficult time right now.”

Show empathy by reflecting understanding of what they are telling you, without offering a solution.

“I don’t know what to say that will help, but I want to you know that I hear you.”

Being able to acknowledge the challenge engages us in compassionate rapport.

“If I could do anything to make this time easier for you right now, what would it be?”

Asking this empowers the individual to consider their immediate options and drive the next action.

“It sounds like you feel there are no solutions right now, others have probably felt that way before, but when we speak with someone who has the skills to help us explore options, things can get better a lot faster.”

You’re not suggesting a solution, just a step in the process that will give them greater certainty and hope.

Compassion is saying, “I see you, I hear you, I don’t judge you, and I don’t have all the answers – but I am willing to try to understand you and offer appropriate support.”

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MAINTAINING

HEALTH ON A

BUDGET

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Living out of home for the first time, whether on your own or in a share house, for study or for work, can lead to some unhealthy changes in lifestyle.

No longer having meals prepared for you, or a nutritious supply of fresh food in the fridge might lead to impulse purchases of expensive restaurant meals or fast food options. Throw in the challenges r of juggling work, study, commuting, socializing, and maintaining 15 Tips foome a residence, and it is easy to see how a once active and thriving young incand individual can begin to neglect the effort that is required to stay earners ity at optimum health. univers The relationship between body and mind is a complex one, but it is almost certain that looking after your physical health will improve your mental health and cognitive function too.

students

A few simple changes can make a difference, and possibly be the domino that tips the scales in the favour of more healthy actions. Choose four or five from

15 Tips for young income earners and university students

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the ideas listed below to add to your positive strategies for health to make the transition a positive and rewarding experience.

1 Wear walking shoes - incidental activity that is permitted by appropriate footwear can add up. Don’t worry if it looks odd wearing a good pair of sports shoes with your work wear, lots of people do it and you won’t look out of the ordinary. Change into other shoes once you get to work.

2 Schedule time for healthy eating – one of the biggest risks to eating healthily is running out of time and choosing a convenience meal instead. Weekly meal planning and food preparation ensures that any frozen food is defrosted in the fridge in safe conditions overnight, and shopping for groceries becomes more purposeful and less wasteful.

A slow cooker can be very useful for preparing nutritious meals when you have time in the morning that are ready to eat by the time you get home in the evening.

3 Purchase your fruits, vegetables, and fresh foods first. Consider buying in a coop to keep costs down. An online delivery subscription to a supermarket or grocer for the delivery of basic fruit and vegetables each week can be affordable and convenient.

4 Prepare meals with other people – share the costs and portions, or freeze portions for later in the week.

5 Replace processed or high GI ingredients with less refined or low GI options. Some examples include swapping brown rice instead of white rice, sweet potato instead of white potato, or roll salad fillings in an iceberg lettuce leaf instead of bread slices or a wrap.

6 Engage in activities that encourage midtempo movement for cardiovascular and circulatory health. A social sport is great because you have fun whilst being active, but doesn’t have to be an organized club event.

Other ideas include dancing, walking, or helping a friend move house. Be sure to take intermittent breaks from study, and put a limit on the amount of time spent on digital gaming and social media.

7 Find a good bento-style lunchbox that secures food in compartments for snacking and lunch. If the idea of a sandwich with spreads is convenient but has you headed straight to the nearest café for lunch, a compartment lunchbox might allow you the taste and variety that makes for a tastier and more nutritious lunch – think hummus and vegetables, leftover evening meals, salads, chopped fruit with nuts, yoghurt or granola.

8 Mindfulness meditation is free. Don’t forget the benefits of maintaining good mental resilience so that you have a bigger buffer zone 9 Sleep at regular intervals when possible to maintain restorative Stage 4 sleep function.

10 Hydration is essential for cellular function – just try to get those eight glasses of water per day without the sugars, caffeine or alcohol.

11 Enrich your diet with healthy fat – ground flaxseed, quality omega 3 oil capsules, fish, avocado and nuts – not always cheap, but all potentially cheaper than the cost of illness.

12 Grow your own kitchen herbs and salad lettuce to save money. The instant supply of fresh produce may also inspire you to make healthier choices.

13 Self-care isn’t selfish – say no when you need to, particularly if it means avoiding an increase in financial pressure.

14 Invest in a good at-home espresso machine.

The raw cost of ground coffee beans and milk equates to around 75c per cup if made at home. The savings can add up and can be added to your grocery and activity budget.

15 Avoid boredom. Feeling bored can have us reaching for fast acting sugar products to stimulate the pleasure response in the brain.

Phone a friend, take a walk, write in your gratitude journal or plan your next holiday instead to satisfy the craving for dopamine in the brain.

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Wellbeing Warrior Name: Simon Pitkethley Company: BridgeClimb Sydney

W What’s your main role there?

I joined in January 2019 as Head of Health, Safety, Environment, Quality and Security. A long title, but essentially my main role is to build out comprehensive baseline systems, support and implement controls to ensure we provide a safe and high performance work environment with a great guest experience.

How did your personal passion for workplace wellbeing come about?

Throughout my career, I have been passionate about achieving a balanced, high performing workplace which achieves best practice and exceeds strategic commercial goals. I have been invested in building prevention cultures within organisations, with a focus on leadership, innovation and simplicity.

I have been fortunate to work at The Star Entertainment Group for eight years which involved working in complex environments and ensuring a high level guest experience, creating a strong and open team culture and workplace.

Now, working at BridgeClimb Sydney has elevated my passion as not only are we recognised as the Number One Experience in Australia (TripAdvisor Traveller’s Choice), we are also embarking to be recognised as a leading workplace in the country.

What do you see are the challenges for building a resilient workforce?

When working in a large organisation, it’s important to be across all roles and responsibilities to ensure all operations maintain the highest possible standards and quality controls.

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Transparent communication is key to building a strong work culture and ethic, particularly when delivering the best possible experience for our guests. Most importantly, being a good and active listener is required to ensure all feedback is taken onboard - this makes all the difference to creating a resilient work culture.

How have you overcome some of those challenges?

I have an ‘open door’ policy when it comes to considering all options in the safety and wellbeing of our team and guests. Through experience, I have learnt that driving a collaborative culture ensures a happy and safe workplace.

What achievement for wellbeing are you most proud of?

I’m proud of being a part of the BridgeClimb Sydney team at the start of a transformation with the scope to create something very special with my colleagues. The business is not hierarchical, with a people first mantra, we all contribute to our goals together and this along with a number of holistic initiatives to provide good nutrition, physical and mental health support, we are just part of a big family here.

What do you hope to accomplish next for your workplace’s wellbeing?

I always keep my finger on the pulse when it comes to workplace wellbeing - I am constantly listening, learning and implementing. With so many exciting updates in the pipeline for BridgeClimb Sydney, you’ll have to watch this space to see what’s next.