Remember These Things

LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS Ladies, Are You Going Through a Divorce? Remember These Things

BY VERONICA DOBSON, 311.DIVORCE.COM

Divorce can be one of the worst things you experience. You’ll go through a wave of emotions daily and wonder how this could happen to you. Now that it is happening though, you’ll be better off by being ready for what’s ahead. This advice is hard-won, but it’s worth a read for every woman going through a divorce.

Expect that he may start dating quickly

Newly divorced men often start dating a lot quicker than women. With all the apps and websites out there to facilitate meeting people, it’s likely your ex will be back on the dating scene quickly. Don’t be surprised. Even if it hurts, dating new people is inevitable. Instead of being shocked, discuss it early. This will allow you each to approach the situation with less emotion. You can use this time to set clear boundaries around when a new significant other can meet family, including the kids.

Don’t show you’re jealous/angry/upset

Even if you can’t stand your ex, you’re likely to feel betrayed when they start dating a new woman. Unless the new squeeze is coming around your children, there is little you can do about it. If you find yourself jealous or angry, remember that you got divorced for a reason. Even if you feel this way, don’t show your ex you care about their dating life. Keep in mind, all the annoying things about your ex are now, luckily, some other woman’s problem.

Don’t think, “He’ll never do that.”

Divorce brings out the worst in people. This holds true for your ex. The man you knew when you were married is not the same man you’re divorcing. To prepare for the worst, get a lawyer who knows the divorce laws in your state. Preparing for a divorce doesn’t make you confrontational, it makes you smart.

If you’re slinging mud, be ready to get dirty – You may think you have a lot of grievances against your ex, but he will have plenty to say about you too. If it can’t be avoided, just remember to try and be calm when he starts trash talking. Getting angry, yelling, or acting on your emotions will only give him more evidence for his complaints. Take the high road, as hard as it is. It will benefit you in the long run.

Record everything

Any complaints you want to have part of the divorce record will carry more weight if you have documentation. If he’s sending you threatening emails, print them out. If he leaves nasty voicemails, make a copy. Nobody ever leaves a divorce hearing feeling like they had too much evidence. Keep detailed records and don’t leave anything out.

Don’t isolate yourself

When you get divorced, you’re losing one of your go-to hang out buddies. Even if you and your ex weren’t getting along, they were still a constant presence in your life. When they move out, you may feel alone. Don’t further these feelings by choosing to isolate yourself. Call your friends and make coffee and movie dates. Sign up for a class at your recreation center or find a divorce support group. Get out of the house as often as you can. Seeing friends will remind you there is a great world to explore as a single lady.

Divorce can be nasty so it’s important to protect and take care of yourself. By knowing what to expect and how to be ready you can ease some of the stress. Stay vigilant and ahead of the curve to work through this trying time. l

New Understanding of How Immune Systems Differ by Sex and Change with Age

It’s no secret that our immune system function declines as we age, which can make older adults more susceptible to a variety of viral and bacterial pathogens including COVID-19. But the role of sex in immune system aging is not well understood. An NIA-supported study took a closer look at how the timing and degree of aging-related changes in the immune system varies among men and women and identified how particular immunity characteristics diverge as we grow older. Building upon their previous studies of how aging affects immunity, a team led by scientists at The Jackson Laboratory, Farmington, Connecticut, looked deeper into the underlying molecular and genetic mechanisms behind sex differences in immunity at different stages of life. Their findings were published in the journal Nature Communications. The team surveyed the blood-based immune cells of 172 healthy adult volunteers (81 men and 91 women) between the ages of 22 and 93, with an eye toward balancing gender, body mass index, frailty scores, and other health attributes to form three age-based groups: young (less than 41 years old), middle-aged (between 41 and 64), and older (over 65.) They also performed genetic analyses to track how the expression of different genes affected immune function over time. Both sexes experienced alterations in the frequency and activity of different immune cell types with age such as declines in various types of white blood cells, including T cells (named because they mature in the thymus gland), monocytes (formed in the bone marrow), and cytotoxic cells (which kill damaged, infected, or cancerous cells). T-cell loss

is particularly important as they are the cells responsible for identifying a foreign pathogen and directing the body’s adaptive immune response to mount a protective immune response. Recent studies have shown that T-cell decline is associated with increased severity of COVID19 infections, especially in older patients. Another important finding related to the frequency of B cells; a type of white blood cell vital to producing antibodies in response to pathogens. Women showed little age-related changes in B cells, but older men’s B cells showed a major loss in chromatin accessibility, which relates to how DNA strands are wound and organized, indicating a decline in the B-cell function. These changes were persistently more pronounced in men than women in otherwise well-matched study groups. The team studied shifts in immune system patterns over different life stages and found two distinct periods of rapid genomic change: one occurring in the late 30s to early 40s was found in both sexes, and another that occurred later in life that was found to be different between the sexes. Men usually experienced this phase in their early 60s whereas women underwent these changes later in life in their late 60s to early 70s. Moreover, the degree of change was less in women. This five-year gap corresponds closely to the average lifespan difference between women (81.6 years) and men (76.9 years) in the United States, the researchers noted, and occurred roughly 12 to 15 years before the end of the average lifespan. Differences in immune system cells between men and women were most apparent after age 65. Older females had more active B and T cells, which are part of the body’s adaptive immune system that acts slower than the immediate response to injury or disease, but then results in the generation of long-term resistance to particular pathogens. Conversely, older men had more activity in the innate immune system — the body’s nonspecific but more rapid-reaction defense force. These findings regarding how and when immune system changes differ by men and women could be potentially useful to help better customize clinical care based on sex and life stage, the researchers reported. Results could also help inform future research on developing potential treatments to boost immune system function in older individuals. l

—National Institute on Aging

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TRAVEL & LIFESTYLE 19 Traveling Post-COVID and Why You Need a Travel Agent

BY VICTORIA FALK

Amother and her six children were recently kicked off a flight following a family vacation because her 2-year-old daughter refused to keep a mask on her face. During publicized news interviews, the mom stated, "She never wore masks this entire few months. I would never make her wear a mask. She's a baby.", referring to her 2year-old daughter. The latter would not keep a mask on her face flying from Orlando, Florida to Newark, New Jersey. She said her children were confused, scared, and crying as they had to get off their flight. A Travel Agent booking the vacation may have spared the mom and her children the pain and humiliation of being forced to get off their flight. A Travel Agent could have informed the mom that it's mandatory for everyone, age two and up, to wear a face mask covering the nose and mouth, throughout their journey in the airport, for the duration of the flight, after landing in their destination city, until they exit the airport. A Travel Agent could have warned this mom that her or any of her children's refusal to wear a face mask, covering the nose and mouth, as required by the airlines and Centers for Disease Control, could result in them

being removed from the airplane as they were. Generally, it is recommended, for a variety of reasons, to use a Travel Agent. However, since the world has been experiencing a pandemic, it is even more necessary to use a Travel Agent. "Why do I need a Travel Agent when I can book the trip myself?" ask many people. Well, Travel Agents do more than book trips. A good Travel Agent is an advisor and a consultant and takes the stress out of the process. If you have not booked travel in a while, it can be nerve-wracking trying to figure out the new changes and travel requirements. Do not lose time, money, peace of mind, and travel arrangements, because you have made mistakes that will affect your trip. Instead, consult with a Travel Agent who can update you on coronavirus advisories, face-covering requirements, change/cancel and refund policies and local and international travel requirements. Despite the changes and new requirements, people are still traveling. Business travel has remained steady during the pandemic because entrepreneurs do not want to rely on online introductions. While more people are meeting online due to the power of the internet and social media, many entrepreneurs still prefer to do this face-to-face when signing contracts and closing business deals. People who love to travel are taking advantage of the current super low prices and great travel deals available now. But they are nervous about booking these getaways on their own because they want to know, "What's the catch?", as a friend and travel customer asked me recently. He enlisted my services as a Travel Agent for fear of booking a trip that was not good quality or one that had hidden fees. As we approach the busiest travel season of the year, the holiday season, many people consider their travel plans. Months of social distancing and constant reports of the rising death toll due to Covid-19 makes family time and fun with friends even more important this year. Savvy travelers are contacting their Travel Agents now to book their holiday travel. While they ask about travel arrangements for Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, they are also discussing plans for family reunions and birthday celebrations. Many people have to reconnect with family, friends, and other loved ones and are keeping some Travel Agents busy. Thus, there is still an opportunity for those who have considered becoming Travel Agents, mostly since this can be done entirely online, from home. Several groups of travel professionals and others have a vested interest in the travel industry's success around the world, coming together to rebuild travel. Do not delay. Successful people understand the benefits of timing and positioning. Learn more about the benefits of becoming a Travel Agent and position yourself today. Travel Agents experience the thrill of helping others. Plus, they can earn extra income while enjoying lifestyle and travel perks. Register for the 4-week online Travel Agent Certificate program today. Go to www.nacc.nyc/travelagent to see dates and registration. Call (718) 722-9217 for assistance.l