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FAMILY MATTERS
How to Help Children Cope with a Divorce BY JANET HOWARD 311DIVORCE.COM
struggling too much to speak, try drawing pictures together as an easier outlet.
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Allow Them to Participate in New Traditions Children may also feel that they have lost their sense of belonging during the divorce, and it's important to help them develop new traditions. One way is by encouraging them to talk about what they want for Christmas or other holidays. This helps them become more invested in family tradition so that it doesn't seem like something there once was but is no longer there. It's also important to recognize that children may not want the same things they would have wanted before the divorce. They may want something different for Christmas, or even no presents at all this year. This is completely normal and should be respected as ultimately it is your child's decision about how he or she wants to honor family traditions during a time of great change. It's also important to keep in mind that your child may want to take on more responsibility during the holidays by helping make decisions about what they would like for Christmas instead of waitcontinued on page 8
ivorce can be a difficult event for anyone to go through, but it is especially hard on children. They may not understand what is happening or why their parents are no longer together. In order to help your child cope with divorce, you need to show them that they have a lot of love and support in their life. You also need to give them the opportunity to express themselves about the divorce and talk openly about how they feel. The following strategies will help to improve communication and establish a sense of security for your child.
loved. Taking the time to do something special with your child will not only make them feel good, but it also helps to establish that your bond with your child has not changed even though you will no longer be married to your spouse.
Offer Continual Love and Support Children whose parents are getting a divorce may feel guilty or even angry about the situation and have trouble expressing themselves to others because they're still trying to process their feelings. It's important that you offer them love and support at every opportunity in order to help them work through these emotions. Spending quality time together is a great way to show them that they are
Encourage Expression It's also important to give children the opportunity to express their thoughts, feelings, and opinions about the divorce in particular. They may not be aware of all of their emotions initially so it is up to you to ask them open-ended questions that will help them explore what they're feeling. Make sure your child knows they have a voice in the process. Give your child the time and space to process their emotions because they're
still trying to learn what divorce means. For example, a five-year-old may not fully understand why one parent is no longer living at home. It is important to help them navigate their feelings surrounding this change while reassuring them that the other parent will still be present in their life. You may have your own opinions about what is best for your children to believe during this time, but it's important to avoid pushing these onto them. Encourage them to talk about how they're feeling and make sure that you listen without interrupting or judging. Be patient with your child if he or she can't articulate their feelings well as not everyone feels comfortable talking openly and children are no exception. If a child is
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