14 minute read

How to Appear Desperate When Dating

BY CHRIS TOBIAS 311DIVORCE.COM

One of the quickest ways to scare someone off is to appear desperate and needy. No matter how much you like someone, there are certain things you must hold yourself back from doing. Here are five ways you can appear desperate when dating.

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1. Text them constantly

When you text someone constantly, you make it appear that you have no life. No matter how much you like someone, you don't want to text them all the time. It's a good idea to leave some mystery and allow them to miss you. If you're always telling them where you are (especially when they haven't asked), you are going to seem desperate to be in a relationship. If you don't allow the person to respond before you are texting them again, you are going to seem needy.

2. Pressure them to move too fast

If you have been on a few dates with someone and you suggest meeting each other's families, going on a weekend trip together, or moving in together this might make you look desperate. Also, avoid asking them to accompany you to your cousin's wedding in six months if you've only known them one month. It's important to take things at a comfortable pace when dating. Moving too fast when you barely know each other is a recipe for disaster. Even if the person agrees to what you suggest, it doesn't mean things will work out.

3. Discuss marriage and kids often

One of the most obvious signs of desperation in the dating world is when someone discusses marriage and kids early on in the relationship. If you are talking about these things within the first few dates, even to gauge where your date stands on them, you will come off as desiring them in an unhealthy way. It is important to know if your date has the same goals, but you don't need to find out on the first or second date exactly how many kids they want and if they want a summer wedding.

4. Shower them with gifts

Showering the person you're dating with gifts or insisting on paying for every date may come off as an attempt to buy their time and affection. If you think you need to use your money to keep someone's attention, you might not have good self-esteem. The person you're dating might feel guilted or pressured into continuing to see you if you shower them with gifts. It's also easy for someone who isn't interested in you to take advantage if they see you're willing to give endlessly.

5. Profess your love quickly

If you tell someone you love them too soon, this makes you appear desperate. You can't know you love someone after the first date or a week into a relationship. It takes a few months to know someone enough to express these kinds of feelings. You will likely scare off someone you attempt to admit deep feelings for too early on.

When you're seeing someone, you might have the urge express to them just how much you like them, but it's a better idea to hold back a little instead of coming off as desperate. If the relationship is meant to be, it doesn't need to be rushed.l

The Summer of Road Trips

It’s officially summer road trip season, which means it’s time to pack your bags, pick a destination on the map and go. According to the U.S. Travel Association, while nearly 9 in 10 American travelers have plans to travel in the next six months, it won’t be overseas. With cities starting to loosen travel restrictions and more parks reopening, this summer offers the perfect opportunity to visit places you’ve always wanted to see and the people you’ve missed the most. As you get ready to pile into your car, there are a few things you should check to make sure your vehicle is ready to face both the miles and the elements. Automotive DIY experts Emily Reeves and ChrisFix recommend these tips before you step on the gas.

Check your oil

Motor oil is the lifeblood of your car – it keeps your engine running smoothly and reduces wear and tear caused by the open road. For those driving older cars, it could be the determining factor between keeping your engine intact or a costly trip to the repair shop. Make sure you have the correct level of oil and that it’s fresh. Your vehicle should have a dipstick to help check the level, and the owner’s manual should contain details on when it’s time to change it.

Keep your engine cool

Coolant is crucial to keeping your car cool during your trip. It prevents your engine from overheating and protects it from the extreme temperatures that come with operating your vehicle. This includes extended time on hot pavement or stop-and-go traffic when passing through bigger cities. Also, when using your air conditioning, you are putting extra strain on the cooling system, so making sure it is in good shape is important to keep you cool as well. “I recommend PEAK 10x Antifreeze & Coolant as it not only helps keep your engine from overheating, but also has additive properties that help keep your coolant system healthy,” Reeves said. “Based on extensive research and development, the product has been developed to ensure it protects from the elements while also flushing out any residue from previous use.”

Kick your tires

Make sure your tires have tread and appropriate air pressure. If they’re too low it, could create drag, which decreases fuel mileage and can wear the tires out. Also be sure to check the air pressure in your spare.

Keep the bugs and rain away

It’s important to ensure you have enough washer fluid and your windshield wiper blades are intact should you drive into a swarm of bugs or a surprise torrential rainstorm. “Maintaining clear visibility is extremely important when driving, whether it be keeping your windows clean or being able to see the road through rain,” ChrisFix said. Its important to keep bugs and dirt off the glass.

Pack the essentials

Should the worst situation arise, and you need an immediate fix, having car care essentials on-hand is a time and money saver. Packing extra washer fluid, coolant, a portable toolbox, tire patching solutions and a first aid kit can help avoid an emergency. While it can be a little costly upfront, a small jump starter kit earns its dividends should you stall out.l(FamilyFeatures)

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Study Links Younger Age of Onset of Type 2 Diabetes to Increased Risk of Dementia

People who develop type 2 diabetes at a younger age have an increased risk of dementia, according to a new study funded in part by NIA and published in JAMA on April 27.An older adult checks their blood glucose level with a home glucose meter. Type 2 diabetes is a serious chronic condition that affects many older adults. This disease is becoming more common and is occurring at younger ages. Previous studies have shown that diabetes is associated with an increased risk of dementia. However, these studies did not address whether the age at which a person is diagnosed with type 2 diabetes influences this risk. For this new research, scientists led by a team at the Université de Paris explored the link between age of onset of type 2 diabetes and the risk of dementia. They examined data from the Whitehall II Study, a long-term longitudinal study of health in British government employees. Participants were between the ages of 35 and 55 when they enrolled. The researchers used results from blood tests conducted every four to five years and electronic health records (EHRs) spanning about 32 years to identify participants who had type 2 diabetes or were taking medicine to treat this condition. The team used EHRs to determine which participants were later diagnosed with dementia. Out of 10,308 participants, a total of 639 were later diagnosed with dementia. Of the 1,710 diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, 153 were later diagnosed with dementia. The researchers found that, people who were diagnosed with diabetes between 65 and 70 years old were 24% more likely to have dementia than people who did not have type 2 diabetes at age 70. Likewise, people who were diagnosed with diabetes between ages 60 and 64 and before age 60 were each 24% more likely to have dementia than people who were diagnosed with diabetes five years later. Participants who were diagnosed with diabetes after age 70 did not have an increased risk of dementia. Interestingly, people who had pre-diabetes, a condition in which a person has high blood sugar levels but not high enough to be diagnosed with diabetes, did not have a higher risk of dementia. Results showed that participants who were diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at a younger age also had dementia at a younger age. Participants with diabetes and cardiovascular diseases such as coronary heart disease, heart failure, or stroke had an even higher risk of dementia. Because the EHRs did not indicate which type of dementia the participants had, the researchers could not determine whether type 2 diabetes was more strongly linked to specific types of dementia. The researchers believe that in people with type 2 diabetes, insulin resistance, problems with a person’s blood vessels, and frequent changes in blood sugar levels over several years might cause problems with blood flow and metabolism in the brain. Signs of dementia usually start more than a decade before diagnosis, and further research is needed to understand how type 2 diabetes affects dementia progression. This research was supported in part by NIA grants R01AG056477 and RF1AG062553.l —National Institute On Aging

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HEALTH 20 Delta Variant Makes It Even More Important to Get a COVID-19 Vaccine, Even If You’ve Already Had the Coronavirus

BY JUSTIN VESER THE CONVERSATION

As someone who studies immune responses to respiratory infections, I’ve watched news of the emerging coronavirus variants with concern. I wondered whether vaccination or previous infection would provide protection against SARS-CoV-2 strains, especially the new, highly transmissible delta variant, which has rapidly spread to at least 70 countries. A person can develop immunity – the ability to resist infection – in two ways: either after being infected with a virus or by getting vaccinated. However, immune protection isn’t always equal. Vaccine immunity and natural immunity for SARS–CoV–2 can differ in terms of the strength of the immune response or the length of time that the protection lasts. Additionally, not everyone will get the same level of immunity from infection, while immune responses to the vaccines are very consistent. The difference in immune response between vaccination and infection seems to be even greater when dealing with new variants. In early July, two new studies were published that show COVID-19 vaccines, though slightly less effective than they are against the older strains of the virus, still seem to provide excellent immune response against the new variants. Researchers looked at how antibodies bind to new variants of the coronavirus and found that people who were previously infected with coronavirus might be susceptible to the new strains, while people who were vaccinated were more likely to be protected. COVID-19 vaccines offer a safe and reliable path to immunity against both the older strains of coronavirus and against emerging strains, especially the new delta variant.

Immunity after infection is unpredictable

Immunity comes from the immune system’s ability to remember an infection. Using this immune memory, the body will know how to fight off an infection if it encounters the pathogen again. Antibodies are proteins that can bind to a virus and prevent infection. T cells direct the removal of infected cells and viruses already bound by antibodies. These two are some of the main players that contribute to immunity. After a SARS-CoV-2 infection, a person’s antibody and T cell responses can provide protection against reinfection. Roughly 84% to 91% of people who developed antibodies against the original strains of coronavirus were unlikely to be infected again for six months, even after a mild infection. People who had no symptoms during the infection are also likely to develop immunity, though they tend to make fewer antibodies than those who felt ill. So for some people, natural immunity may be strong and long-lasting. One big problem is that not everyone will develop immunity after a SARS-

continued on page 21

Delta Variant/

continued from page 20 CoV-2 infection. As many as 9% of infected people do not have detectable antibodies, and up to 7% don’t have T cells that recognize the virus 30 days after infection. For people who do develop immunity, the strength and duration of the protection can vary a lot. Up to 5% of people may lose their immune protection within a few months. Without a strong immune defense, these people are susceptible to reinfection by the coronavirus. Some have had second bouts of COVID-19 as soon as one month after their first infection; and, though it occurs rarely, some people have been hospitalized or have even died after reinfection. A growing problem is that people who were previously infected by strains present earlier in the pandemic may be more susceptible to reinfection from the delta variant. One recent study found that 12 months after infection, 88% of people still had antibodies that could block infection of cultured cells with by the original coronavirus variant – but fewer than 50% had antibodies that could block the delta variant. To top this all off, a person who is infected may also be able to transmit the coronavirus, even without feeling sick. The new variants are especially problematic in this case, as they are more easily transmitted than the original strains.

Vaccination leads to reliable protection

COVID-19 vaccines generate both antibody and T cell responses – and these responses are much stronger and more consistent than immunity after natural infection. One study found that six months after receiving their first dose of the Moderna vaccine, 100% of people tested had antibodies against SARSCoV-2. This is the longest period that has been reported in published studies so far. In a study looking at the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines, antibody levels were also much higher in vaccinated people than in those who had recovered from infection. Even better, a study in Israel showed that the Pfizer vaccine blocked 90% of infections after both doses – even with new variants present in the population. And a decrease in infections means people are less likely to transmit the virus to the people around them. For those who have already been infected with the coronavirus, there is still a big benefit to getting vaccinated. A study with the original COVID-19 virus showed that vaccination after infection produces roughly 100 times more antibodies than infection alone, and 100% of people who were vaccinated after infection had protective antibodies against the delta variant. The COVID-19 vaccines aren’t perfect, but they produce strong antibody and T cell responses that offer a safer and more reliable means of protection than natural immunity – especially with new variants on the loose.l

This is an updated version of an article originally published on May 25, 2021.

Jennifer T. Grier is a Clinical Assistant Professor of Immunology, University of South Carolina

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