How Can You Have a Peaceful Family Christmas?

BY MARY CAMPBELL

Christmas may be nicknamed the most wonderful time of the year, but in reality, for many, this isn't the case. Unfortunately, when families come together, rather than being a joyous occasion of love and laughter, it can often turn into a tumultuous occasion with bickering and fallouts. Forcing a smile or relinquishing an argument isn't easy, but can help go some way to keeping the peace. However, if these are options are not in your nature, or you need more tips in order to have a peaceful time, then this article just might be able to help.

1. Avoid Sensitive Topics Some people are very headstrong; they have provocative opinions, and aren't afraid to share them. If there are people like this in your family, then it's time to ask them to keep their thoughts to themselves, just for the holidays. This might be easier said than done, but if there's any chance it will prevent conflict over political or social issues that usually resort to personal attacks, then it's worth a shot. Ask other family members for backup if you think it won't be enough if only you speak with them.

2. Don't Be Late Tardiness can cause an instant conflict at such a stressful time. Being late to a family gathering suggests that you didn't care about your family enough to be on time, and your lateness might have even caused a delay with food or other Christmas activities. Be on time and ensure everyone else is as well. For example, if everyone is meeting at your parents' house at 2pm, message the rest of your family beforehand to make sure everyone knows the time and can confirm they won't be late — it's the easiest way to start the celebrations in a good mood.

3. Set Present Budgets The financial side of Christmas is a huge worry, and if you don't want to take the worry into the new year with you in the form of debt, then you need to set budgets for presents beforehand. There's no shame in saying that you can't afford to buy a lot, or even that you don't want to buy a lot as you have other things to pay for. Either way, set expectations early on so that no one will feel screwed over if they spent a lot on you, and that there can be no snidey comments about your gifts.

4. Have Plenty of Activities The more spare time everyone has, the more time they have to argue, nitpick, or complain, and as the day presses on with people becoming tired or bored, well, things could take a turn quickly. Be on hand with some fun and easy Christmas activities or games, ones that aren't going to cause tension (avoid Monopoly, for instance!), ones where everyone can have a laugh or work together nicely. Keeping everyone occupied or having an easy time will leave no room for arguing.

5. Bite Your Tongue Sometimes you can be the cause of an argument yourself when you are asked an offensive question or are on the receiving end of a crude comment from a drunk uncle, and suddenly you're the one escalating the situation. This isn't to say that you shouldn't stick up for yourself, but if overly personal questions or mean

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FAMILY MATTERS Keeping Our Kids Safe

BY DR. DAVE A. CHOKSHI

As a father of a young child and the City’s doctor, it has been especially meaningful for me to see so many brave children roll up their sleeves to get vaccinated against COVID-19. I have had the privilege of being present when some have gotten their first dose. I remember one young person had tragically lost their mother to the COVID-19 pandemic. The family felt relief and joy after waiting so long for the comfort of knowing the child was protected. Since the COVID-19 vaccine was authorized, over 140,000 children ages 511 have received at least one dose in New York City. We are proud of this progress, but still too many of our youngest New Yorkers remain unvaccinated. Right now, it’s more urgent than ever, because infection rates are highest among school-aged children. Since the start of the pandemic, school-aged children have accounted for approximately 7% of all cases. In the last 30 days, 14% of all cases have been among this age group. It is critical for parents and caregivers to understand that COVID-19 is a serious childhood illness. It can result in hospitalizations, ICU admissions, long-term health issues, and in rare cases, death. No children have died from the vaccine. Understandably, many parents and caregivers want to make sure it’s safe—even those who are fully vaccinated themselves. According to a new survey, about a third of parents of children ages 5 to 11 say they want to wait and see how the vaccine is working for others before getting their child vaccinated. But our leading pediatricians are strongly recommending vaccination right now, precisely because it helps keep our kids safe. Some are concerned after hearing about a risk of myocarditis, or mild heart inflammation. This is of course something we take seriously. What we know is that myocarditis is actually more likely to occur as a result of COVID-19, not vaccination. It also likely helps that the dose used in 5-11 year olds is a third of the dose used for those 12 and up. But benefits of vaccination go beyond just protection from COVID-19. Although, thankfully, the youngest New Yorkers have largely avoided COVID’s worst outcomes, they have all shared in our collective trauma, and far too many have experienced loss. With vaccination, children can return to normal life again. They can catch up on hugs, play dates, sleepovers, sports and school activities. They can more safely gather with friends and family over the holidays. Another reason to get the shot now is that starting this week, children 5 and up will need to show proof of at least one vaccination dose for indoor dining, fitness and entertainment activities and many after school activities as well like sports, band and choir. I urge everyone to get your child vaccinated as soon as possible. You can go to the City’s vaccine finder to find locations in all five boroughs, including City sites, pharmacies, and clinics. The Health Department is working with over 1,500 pediatricians to distribute the vaccine. The instinct parents and caregivers have to protect children is a good one— our first priority is always to keep our children safe. I want to be clear: To not have your child vaccinated is taking a serious risk. The vaccine will keep your child and our communities l Dr. Chokshi is New York City’s Health Commissioner

Pediatricians recommend the COVID-19 vaccine for 5-17 year olds.

Peaceful Christmas/ continued from page 8

comments arise, ask yourself if it's worth a fight before you hastily react. Do everything you can to play your part in keeping the peace. If the issue needs addressing, try to speak to the person in private at another time.

Some of these things may work, others may not, it will entirely depend on your family's habits and ways as to how much of a difference you can all make together. Of course, if the stress of Christmas and the thought of the upcoming family fights are too much for you then the alternative is to excuse yourself from family gatherings altogether for this year. You should never feel shamed or guilted into joining Christmas celebrations if it will have a negative impact on you in any way. Sometimes the best thing for you is to have a quiet holiday period alone or maybe with a friend's family instead, where you can genuinely relax and take a well-deserved break.l

Is the COVID-19 vaccine really safe for my child? The FDA and CDC have found the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine to be safe and authorized its use among children 5-17 years old. COVID-19 VACCINES SAVE LIVES. GET YOUR CHILD VACCINATED. To learn more about COVID-19 vaccines, visit nyc.gov/covidvaccine or call 212-COVID19.