FAMILY MATTERS
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How Can You Have a Peaceful Family Christmas? for. Either way, set expectations early on so that no one will feel screwed over if they spent a lot on you, and that there can be no snidey comments about your gifts.
BY MARY CAMPBELL
C
hristmas may be nicknamed the most wonderful time of the year, but in reality, for many, this isn't the case. Unfortunately, when families come together, rather than being a joyous occasion of love and laughter, it can often turn into a tumultuous occasion with bickering and fallouts. Forcing a smile or relinquishing an argument isn't easy, but can help go some way to keeping the peace. However, if these are options are not in your nature, or you need more tips in order to have a peaceful time, then this article just might be able to help.
Ask other family members for backup if you think it won't be enough if only you speak with them.
1. Avoid Sensitive Topics Some people are very headstrong; they have provocative opinions, and aren't afraid to share them. If there are people like this in your family, then it's time to ask them to keep their thoughts to themselves, just for the holidays. This might be easier said than done, but if there's any chance it will prevent conflict over political or social issues that usually resort to personal attacks, then it's worth a shot.
2. Don't Be Late Tardiness can cause an instant conflict at such a stressful time. Being late to a family gathering suggests that you didn't care about your family enough to be on time, and your lateness might have even caused a delay with food or other Christmas activities. Be on time and ensure everyone else is as well. For example, if everyone is meeting at your parents' house at 2pm, message the rest
of your family beforehand to make sure everyone knows the time and can confirm they won't be late — it's the easiest way to start the celebrations in a good mood. 3. Set Present Budgets The financial side of Christmas is a huge worry, and if you don't want to take the worry into the new year with you in the form of debt, then you need to set budgets for presents beforehand. There's no shame in saying that you can't afford to buy a lot, or even that you don't want to buy a lot as you have other things to pay
4. Have Plenty of Activities The more spare time everyone has, the more time they have to argue, nitpick, or complain, and as the day presses on with people becoming tired or bored, well, things could take a turn quickly. Be on hand with some fun and easy Christmas activities or games, ones that aren't going to cause tension (avoid Monopoly, for instance!), ones where everyone can have a laugh or work together nicely. Keeping everyone occupied or having an easy time will leave no room for arguing. 5. Bite Your Tongue Sometimes you can be the cause of an argument yourself when you are asked an offensive question or are on the receiving end of a crude comment from a drunk uncle, and suddenly you're the one escalating the situation. This isn't to say that you shouldn't stick up for yourself, but if overly personal questions or mean continued on page 9
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