A Letter to my Mother

a letter to my motherBY SATARA UTHAYAKUMARAN

You named me After an ancient set of rules and sounds With a hope To connect me to a part of something Much more, a higher order of a kind

In my name, yours thus appears Prefacing and guiding the syllables of a face unknown

Yet this is why saltwater graces the stage When I realise that everything changes With this single confession Of myself, whom I love, who I yearn for

A physical pain builds As a world folds within itself, desecrated Or even worse, builds a barrier to my body and mind And I cannot sit with you as I once did

My oath is thus I promise I have not changed Though someone unexpected may sit beside me when I see you next She is the same as me, she is the same as he would have been

My plea is thus Greet us both as you would have greeted me alone I will be as I always am, yet this cannot be a one-sided contract If that is what it can be called

I love you Even if it what was once smooth for you Is now undulating, disjunct, unsure I always will