WORST WE Issue sixteen
EEK EVER Published and edited by Mike Arellano and Iain Oldman
Brandy Cara Somers Walton Photography
First Friday at the Artful Dodger Opening by Mike Arellano Friday, June 5 at 5 PM Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History Opening Reception at Clementine Cafe Friday, June 5 at 5 PM
Suter Bay, Dream Ritual, Wolves at Bay Golden Pony $5 Sunday, June 7 at 9 PM Tropical Trash, Buck Gooter, Malatese, Marsh Hawk Golden Pony Tuesday, June 9 at 9 PM Open Mic Comedy Night The Artful Dodger (No cover) Wednesday, June 10 at 9 PM Craig Hendrix, Prairie Wolf, Bishops Golden Pony Thursday, June 11 at 9 PM
PC Worhsip, Azores, Buck Gooter, Heavens Gate Golden Pony Wednesday, June 17 at 9 PM Steady + Grayling Skyy EP Release Show Golden Pony $3 Friday, June 19 at 9 PM
Bleak, Suppressive Fire, Diseased Earth, Azazoth Golden Pony $5 Tuesday, June 23 at 9 PM Creepoid, Ecstatic Vision, Crab Action Golden Pony $6 Wednesday, July 1 at 9 PM
An artistic exploration of women who challenged their eras. A photography exhibit by Cara Walton, in which each photo is an interpretation of a historical woman who took risks to change the world by going against the grain. Each photograph will be accompanied by a response/statement, written by Angela M. Carter, with each word penned by a woman from our community! See what happens when a history teacher/photographer and a confessional poet create art together.
Opening reception June 5, 2015 in Ruby’s Lounge, below Clementine Part of First Fridays Downtown: Harrisonburg
One woman's actions, and words, can better future lives. Celebrate her legacy; rejoice in knowing that you are also that woman. Angela M. Carter Photo by Cara Walton
R o c k to w n ’ s Other Brew We’re a Coffee Town Now If your weekend mornings, or hell, even Wednesday mornings, Thursday mornings, or occasional sun bleached Monday mornings are anything like mine, you find yourself waking up on a saliva stained futon, following the instinctual pleas from your drug-addled brain to find water and, of course, coffee. Ah, coffee. God bless you. Local artist Elwood “Trip” Madison recently hanged his art show in the Artful Dodger showcasing the rich brew’s recurring importance throughout human culture and society. Coffee has enriched the timeline of our earthly existence since it’s inception and implementation, inspiring religious awakenings, literary discussions and movements, and stained teeth.
Harrisonburg, as you may have noticed, has recently experienced a rich and wondrous bloom of coffee houses opening up in the past few months. It can get confusing and perhaps overwhelming trying to navigate your way through the garden of roasted beans, so we did it for you. The Worst Week Ever staff visited Harrisonburg’s coffee shops in the past month, sacrificing our bodies to the mercy of caffeine’s insidious charms. WE DID THIS FOR YOU! All of the cafes we visited are all within crawling distance of your downtown domiciles, and we didn’t include Starbucks in our visits because A) Starbucks is a national chain and corporation that doesn’t need nor deserve our patronage and B) Starbucks tastes like brewed feces that they’ve scooped out of the corpses of cattle rotting and festering in the unforgiving Arizona desert.
When you talk about Harrisonburg coffee, you have to talk about the Artful Dodger. Quite simply, it is a Harrisonburg institution, and should be the coffee house that all others are compared to. It has stood the test of time and rests in everyone’s memory if you are 23 years or older and grew up in Rockingham County. Since their opening (over two decades ago!) the Artful Dodger has expanded to include a full bar and menu, and may get to hold the title of Harrisonburg’s social hub. If you walk in, there is a better chance than not that you will know at least one person in there, continuing the age old tradition of a cafe culture center. The coffee itself is just fine, their blends lying perfectly in the center of taste and preference, serving Bridgewater’s Lucas Roasting Company’s dark and medium blends. The coffee is not overly strong, though not weak either, and their iced coffee is a drink you can (unfortunately) knock back three or four cups of.
Sitting across Court Square from the Artful Dodger, in the bottom of Urban Exchange, is the newly installed Shenandoah Joe. This coffee house comes from over Afton in Charlottesville, but don’t let your deep rooted distaste for Yuppy-town ruin what could be the most delicious coffee in Harrisonburg. Seriously, their coffee is AMAZING. After my first sip I said aloud “Wow” and ignored the glares of everyone else in the cafe. Shenandoah Joe is run by some dude from Charlottesville named Dave, and he runs around to all the different farms in the area, hand picking beans, roasts them on his own, and creates his own blends of both coffee AND espresso. Good for him, he does it damn well. In addition, the table space at the coffee shop is expansive, and they sell growlers to fill with iced coffee, which is just awesome. Suspiciously, they also sell digital scales, which is great, because now you don’t have to go into sketchy gas stations to buy one.
If you’re looking for a full on cozy brunch, or you need baked goods to soak up the Steel Reserve sloshing around in your gut, then the underappreciated Heritage Bakery and Cafe is just for you. Located in the Hardesty-Higgins House downtown, Heritage is like an incubation chamber full of baked angel tears, frosted with an icing made from Joan of Arc’s convictions. Oh my God, the pastries there are something to literally kill someone over. They serve muffins, cinnamon rolls, cookies, shortbread, sandwiches served on homemade baguettes, croissants, banana bread, and so, so much more. The baked goods at Heritage are so explosive and clean in their flavors that their coffee (Lucas Roasting Co.) is an afterthought, though you shouldn’t skip on that either. I got an iced coffee and chocolateespresso muffin and the combination is so good that I forgot the civil war in Syria was still going on- it’s that good.
One of the newest coffee spots in Harrisonburg, tucked away in a cozy corner in the new Ice House building, hidden from bums and bros, is the undeniably addicting Black Sheep Coffee. I’ve been back to this place three times since I first sampled their magical brew. There’s a hidden charm to the small cafe, whether it comes from the charming baristas who act like you’re the last person alive on earth every time they take your order, or the tables
outside, perfectly placed in the shade no matter what time of day. Warning: Black Sheep’s coffee (Red Rooster, Lexington Coffee, and Mudhouse Coffee) is fucking STRONG. Like, really really really strong. Luckily that’s my jam, but if you maintain a weak constitution or listen to the Strokes, they have a full array of roasts and blends that tip to the more mild scale for you. Finally, no write up of Harrisonburg’s caffeinated libations can be completed without the mention of the most charming, memorable little drinking hole in downtown- Court Square Coffee. Tucked into a small space on the corner of West Market and Liberty St, no more than a counter, really, what this spot lacks in size it more than makes up for in taste and the unwavering need to accommodate your need. Owner and operator Jeremiah Young has an uncanny, photographic memory, because even if I haven’t been in there in a year, he knows my name and coffee preference. It is wild. Court Square Coffee isn’t a place you should go to just to feel important and noticed, though it doesn’t hurt, but their coffee holds its own in the crowded cafe scene now, and if you’re in a rush there is no place better to get in and out with a cup of coffee in your hand.
Now that we have over half a dozen cafes in town, don’t be afraid to go and step outside of your comfort zone in regards to coffee. Each of these coffee shops has it’s own unique crowd and vibe, some more relaxing and intimate than others that are vibrant, social, and even intoxicating. Congratulations, Harrisonburg, we can now tie up our ascots and turn up the Elvis Costello as we brag to Virginia’s other slum-ass cities that we’re a coffee town now.
album review
Let’s just get this out of the way- Valkyrie is no longer just another band on the long list of Harrisonburg’s alternative, hard rock, and heavy bands- they’re a goddamned institution. I bought my first Valkyrie album back in 2006 at Plan 9 Records, Plan 9, a split they put out with Oakton outfit Vog, a clear vinyl seven inch that feature the song Valkyrie ends every show with, their crowd pleaser, the enduring “Withered Tree”. They put that out in 2005. A full decade later and the legend grows with Valkyrie’s new album Shadows, their first release since 2012’s split with Earthling (no introduction necessary) and, more of note, their first album release on a major national label, joining Relapse Records’ laundry list
Valkyrie Shadows
of metal legends. A lot has happened since their last full length album drop- new bassist (Alan Fary), Pete Adams toured with Baroness and Samhain, and Jake Adams’ stint teaching down in Honduras- though on Shadows it seems like Valkyrie has picked up right where they left off, and to an extent they have. The classic Valkyrie sounds hasn’t lost it’s step in the least. Tracks like Temple and Carry On feature absolutely insane dueling guitar solos, the Adams brothers shredding step in step with expert precision and execution, and the epic classic-metal soundscape that Valkyrie loves to build is as lush and expansive as ever. Jake Adams’ vocals are the eeriest and most powerful they’ve ever been.
What sets Shadows apart from the other Valkyrie releases, however, is the depth and variance of sound that Valkyrie blasts through your chest cavity. The album builds and deconstructs pace and features volume fluctuation that we haven’t expressly heard in the quartet’s releases before, showcasing the extreme detail to songwriting that the Adams brothers have dedicated themselves to over the past few years. Sure, there are moments of Pentagramstyle classic metal licks in Shadows, but we see glimpses of modern harmony and genre crossover that Pete Adams brought with him from Baroness. Listen to Wintry Plains, there’s a song Valkyrie may not have released only a few years ago.
All in all, Shadows is the perfect culmination of time, maturity, patience, and most importantly, epic instrumentation skill that Valkyrie has sat on for too long. It’s no coincidence that this album is the one that is being released to a national audience, as Shadows will garner the attention that Valkyrie has deserved for a decade now. The legend grows, and Shadows is an album that will be blared in countless homes across America this summer, delighting a brand new generation of avid listeners. Cheers, fellas.