// Flying High 2 // Out the Shadows 6 // Restored 10 // Unexpected 12 // Almost 13 // Accepted 17
Volume 1
Retreat Edition
“The most important part was the educating of the past, present and future DISAPPOINTMENTS. This was thee most awesome lesson of life that I have never known.� ~ Sandra Harrington
By nature, I am a connector with a passion for outreach and all things intercultural. As I have studied world cultures, it would be remiss of me to ignore the fact that we have our own culture within Word of Truth Family Church. Though we have attendees from various parts of life, society and backgrounds, our culture is one of faith. We believe God’s Word and the understanding that all things are possible because we believe. This magazine, VIVID is a testimony of our faith victories, insight into the ministries and people of WOTFC. Our stories are bold, daring and ostentatious. They should be told so others can be encouraged to know Christ, to grow in Him and to go to the uttermost parts of the earth sharing Him. Welcome to our pilot - the Retreat Edition. May it inspire and embolden your faith to continue fighting for that which is good and right. Pastor Sara Sr. Editor
IN THIS ISSUE FLYING HIGH - 2
UNEXPECTED - 9
A postpartum journey Pastor Sara Conner
A young widow discovers life beyond grief Sonya Smith
OUT THE SHADOWS - 4
ALMOST - 11
How one woman regained her confidence as a Single Mom and overcame shame Danielle Whetstone
One mother’s close encounter with abortion and the choice that changed her life Melinda Miller
RESTORED - 7
ACCEPTED - 15
The riveting tale of triumph in the wake of illness Lisa K. Fuller
The coming of age story of a High School counselor Nicole Sheppard
FLYING HIGH Pastor Sara Conner
So after 21hrs in labor the baby came. Now what? Seriously. What was I supposed to do next? I had read “What to Expect When you are Expecting” but the little black and white ‘etch and sketch’ drawings of baby did nothing for me. I had a living child squirming in my arms and as much as I was happy, I was scared as a cockroach in the light. A downright quake and fear engulfed me. I kept thinking to myself ‘how am I supposed to keep her alive?’
I was cranky, unbearable at times, inconsiderate, cold. Then on the other hand playful, warm and thoughtful. I didn’t see the wounds I created and the people that were being hurt. I always knew I was a people person so it never dawned on me that I was totally out of character. I was dealing with post partum issues but I never felt depressed so surely I was fine. I was not. This time it was harder because it was longer and I was oblivious to it. My family was patient with me because they knew eventually I would emerge from this cloud. Their faith edged me back to myself. I was going through a ‘molting’ process.
One day my husband Eben came home from work and Heaven had been about 6 weeks old. She was colicky, not sleeping, crying and I was exhausted. As he walked through the door like a rabid dog I rushed him ‘I want her back inside’ I frantically exclaimed. In hoping to calm me he told me he had brought a gift – a bear that made sounds like the womb. Bless his heart, he was really trying to help calm the baby but it just triggered something in me. I went slap crazy just crying and fussing and pleading for the baby to go back in the womb, it would be so much easier. I was experiencing the post partum blues. My pride wouldn’t own up to any emotional frailty. I saw it as a faith failure and HELLO I went to Bible College, knew the Word and saw miracles. No way Jose was I going to admit I was struggling just to keep it together. No ma’am.
Eagles are the most majestic birds in the earth. They fly high because they are born for greatness. With incredible vision they see from afar and their beautiful feathers glisten in the glory of the sun.
The second time was worse. Now I was having a baby lol in my ‘old age’ ha ha ha!!! Believe me, I thought it would be a breeze and I would have everything under control. I was wiser, more mature, seasoned. Whatever!! What made it worse was I didn’t recognize it. I didn’t know
As powerful as this bird is, at least once in its life every eagle will go through the molting process. This brings a great depression for the eagle. Its vision goes, it pecks at other birds and is stripped to nothing as it loses its strength. Eventually it hides itself in the cleft of a high rock, pecks at its claws and beak until they fall out. If the eagle does not submit to the stripping, it will never be renewed and it is in its renewal that the second glory outshines the first.
Post partum happens after the birth of something great. When you have spent your energy fighting for something meaningful and you live in the aftermath it can creep in. Hormones run wild, logic goes out the window and emotions are rampant. It’s the molting. The necessary meltdown that strips us naked before God. It makes us aware of our need for Him and each other. The awesome thing is, during a molting, other eagles who have survived the process scream out to the broken eagle and provide food for him. What a lesson.
During our darkest times, we need each other not to judge in our time of weakness but to provide encouragement and substance. Once I recognized what was happening, I made amends where I could. I drew close to God. I saw with eyes of gratitude instead of indifference. I picked out my feathers of frustration, impatience and cruelty. I pecked off my beak of rashness and let it die. I determined to not live blindly in the wake of hormonal confusion. I took charge. I submitted to the process. I submitted to my husband and the leadership in my life. I asked other eagles to hold me accountable. I determined to be patient, to grow, to rise, to sprout wings and fly high again.
Isaiah 40:31Â But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.
Whether a child, a business, a family or a promotion was birthed understand that after great highs the possibilities of valleys exist. To make it through the lows of life, be okay with the fact that highs and lows sometimes go together. But, God remains constant. He is Lord of the valley. Serve Him even then, when you are weak and others fail. Serve Him, He will see you through and joy will come. Your better days are ahead. Be encouraged.
Making Course Adjustments Pastor Eben Conner
OUT THE SHADOWS Danielle Whetstone I am a 36 year old, single, twice divorced mother of four children. Although I have been married twice, all four of my children have different biological fathers. I have always dreamed of being a mother and having a family. I believe that has been the driving force when I have chosen companions in my life. I also was not allowing God inclusion on deciding my mates. Of the 18 years I have spent as a parent, twelve of those years I have been single. Each time - after the divorce I found myself single, alone and hopeless. Both times, my household income shifted from two paychecks to just one. The support I was receiving from my spouses in raising the kids was non-existent. Some members of my family criticized me for losing not one, but two “good” men because they had jobs and had not beat me. Adjusting to a single parent’s life was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. After my first divorce, I was young and spiritually immature. I sought out toxic relationships in an effort at re-building my self-esteem. Of course, these relationships proved to be a more negative influence in my life. After my second divorce, I felt so much pain for myself, but was overwhelmed with hurt for my children. I had chosen a man to be in their lives, because he was in my life. When the marriage was over, so was the bond with the children. My babies had called him “daddy”, but daddy he was no more. As I had made the decision to bring this relationship into their lives without their control, the decision to end the relationship was also therefore made without their control. I felt, and watched, my children deal with feelings of rejection, self-worth and tackle commitment issues.
I have carried around a lot of guilt surrounding these circumstances and how they affect my children. I have made every effort to show my errors to my children as examples of “what not to do.” Having four fathers for four children has at times been embarrassing, hurtful, shameful and all too revealing. Being the common denominator in two divorces has challenged my self-esteem, worthiness and sound decision making abilities.
Although I could have hid away like a shameful puppy, I thrust myself into ministry. I had never been exposed to serving God’s Kingdom prior to attending Word of Truth. I began to gain fulfillment from serving and being an influence in other’s lives. It was such a great healing process, because I realized my problems, although painful, weren’t as big as others. I was also reminded by Pastor, as he so distinctly said; although God said no weapon formed against us will prosper, He did not say weapons will not be formed against us. I knew then that I would experience tribulation in my life but if I continued to seek Him, I would weather the storm.
CHICKEN ENCHILADA CASSEROLE What you’ll need...
1lb of chicken ( I’ve used canned chicken - when in a time crunch; chicken breast - cooked and cubed; and even leftover roasted chicken, shredded. It doesn’t matter because it all taste good!) 6 to 8 cups of shredded cheese , 2 cans of cream of mushroom soup, 1 can of cream of chicken soup 1 can of Rotel tomatoes, 24 corn tortillas. & a 13”x9” baking dish.
Directions
Mix the soups and rotel in a bowl until its creamy, don’t drain the rotel. Put a thin layer of soup mixture across the bottom of the pan, layer with about 6 or 8 corn tortillas, depending on how big your baking dish is. Mix the chicken in with the soup mixture and put a nice thick layer on the tortillas, top with shredded cheese, about a cup and a half or so to completely cover the chicken. Then just repeat the layers until you reach the top of the baking dish. Put in the oven until the cheese is completely melted, about 20 minutes or so. I usually use a big baking dish because it will make about 8 big servings.
LOL
with
Samantha Cowan
Our Database Administrator, marrired to Pastor Che. She’s the mother of 3 awesome kids Amanda, Joshua & Cyanne!
You can cut back to one can of cream of mushroom soup and less cheese and tortillas to make a smaller dish of 4 or 6 pieces though. Top it with picante sauce and enjoy!
Valerie Miller
Exec Asssitant @ WOTFC. She’s the wife to Tommy and mom to Amber, Natalie, Shay, & Jack.
RESTORED Lisa Fuller
In January of 2010 my oldest sister passed. A month later, I found out that what I thought were allergies was something more severe. Unbeknown to me I had been dripping (CSF) Cipro Spinal Fluid for about six months. There was a hole in my cranium that needed immediate surgical attention. My surgery was scheduled for March and then pushed back because I got Pneumonia for the second time. As, I spent those five days in the hospital sick and still emotionally grieving from the loss of my sister, I began asking God what is going on and what was happening to me. Of course we never hesitate to ask God these kinds of questions, especially when we think we are the only one experiencing challenges in life. I remember crying at night in pain physically and emotionally asking,
Why me Lord, what have I done to deserve this? I reminded the Lord how I had served Him faithfully. I felt, I should not be going through this because I had too much to do and too many things that needed to be done. I was acting as if God did not know this already or as if He was not aware of my situation. Can you relate? During the five days I spent in the hospital my Pulmonary doctor discovered that my lungs had expanded beyond the normalcy of someone with Pneumonia on top of that I had small tiny knots (cyst) in my lungs, which meant my surgery date to close the hole in my head had to be moved again. I remember saying, ‘Jesus have mercy,
I don’t have time for this’. Once again, I began asking the Lord what was happening. I was tired of my nose dripping, I was tired of not being able to sleep comfortably at night and I was tired of feeling as if the ground had been snatched from under my feet and I was falling. I needed help! My doctor took me off from work. However, I was still trying to do work from home. My doctor was telling me to rest and I was saying to myself, lady I got stuff to do at work and outside of work. All my plates were running over. God was telling me to be still and know that He was in control, however, during this time I wasn’t listening well to Him to either. Part of me wondered if I would lose my job if I couldn’t return to work – what was the future going to hold? On May 9, 2010 I had the surgery to correct the hole in my head. The morning before my surgery one of my dear friends called to pray with me before the nurses got ready to take me back for my anesthesia and before he hung up the phone he said, “Lisa, God has not forgot about you. You’re in the best hands.” While lying on the hospital bed the nurses began to prep me and roll me in for surgery, guess what? I was attacked with a huge lie from the devil; I heard a voice whisper in my ear and said that I was going to die.” Instantly, the strong willed, not afraid of “ANYTHING” Lisa became overfilled with fear and with tears in my eyes, I remember saying in my
inside voice, “God I shall live and not die, I trust you”. Five hours after my surgery, still sedated I remember seeing one of the nurses standing over me in the recovery room yelling as if I was deaf for me to respond if I could hear her. Now, devil who turned out to be the liar? I was still alive! While recovering at home, I begin to experience excoriating headaches; there were times when the pain felt as if someone was standing on top of my head, other times the pain felt as if someone was hitting me in the head. What I thought was going to be six weeks of recovery and then back to my daily routines turned into eight and ½ months of recovery. After the surgery I was diagnosed with two headache disorders, Pseudotumor cerebri and traumatic migraines’. (Pseudotumor cerebri is a process affecting the brain that appears to be -but is not -- a tumor. It is often reversible) The months tiptoed by. Besides the ensuing doctor appointments, needles, tests, biopsy’s, spinal taps, eye exams and other treatments, not to forget all the medication. I found out that there was also the waiting, waiting, waiting in between for results and next steps. During this time is when I really truly begin to understand what was really taking place. Ding dong the light came on! I am quite sure you heard the saying,
When you been knocked down and you’re on your back
First, I discovered that I was so busy doing things for God and everyone else that I had begun to pencil Him in on my Franklin planner. Our time together fellowshipping was not as sacred as it had once been. Our relationship had dwindled to Email messages instead of genuine conversation. In my hurried stress filled state, I had put God on a list with everything else. My respect and profound admiration had become wimpy and dull. I wasn’t paying attention! It took the days of weakness and helplessness to remind me just who was in charge and where my priorities needed to be. Secondly, I was losing the joyous quality of thankfulness. I was taking for granted God’s gifts. I became more aware of the blessings being poured out on me by others. I had a wonderful family, Pastors, and church and friends who loved me and was praying for me. I received so many cards in the mail expressing prayers, love and even financial support. One of the ladies from WOTFC drove my mom and myself to my doctor appointments. We’re now like sisters. Finally, I began to re-focus! I stopped trying to insist on God following my lead. I returned to following His. I learned to slow down a little and spend “quality” time with God and take time to care for me. Lisa Fuller has served as Executive Administrator of Word of Truth Family Church for the past 4 years. She loves decorating, outreach and has her own travel business Journey Beyond. Plan your next trip by contacting her (817) 253.8760 or journeybtravel@earthlink.net
the only way to look is up. I had been ripping and running and taking care of everyone else, but I had failed in taking care of me. When you’re not healthy you are no good to the Kingdom of God nor anyone else. “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth”. III John 1:2 Our heavenly Father intends for us to be whole and healthy inside out, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. So what did I learn from all of this?
How To Heal When I Am Hurting Pastor Sara Conner
GONE TOO SOON Sonya Smith I met Tony in 1986 in college. We were 18 and I just loved him. He played football, was strong, funny, loyal, compassionate, giving – just a bear of a guy with the most gentle heart. It was not long before he became my best friend and the love of my life. Eventually, he followed his heart by leaving the athletic fields for the heat of the stove. He launched his own catering business and became a respected ‘chef’ in the industry. He even created many of the “Woman Thou Art Loosed” Cookbook with Bishop Jakes dedicating the Ja’Nae Pasta to our daughter and others to various family members.
Always health conscious, Tony felt he was fighting a cold all week. Not wanting to make me ill, he chose to sleep in our son’s room for the night. Something was wrong. On the morning of October 12, 2006 around 5 a.m., I woke up startled. Why did I not hear him wake for work? He was NEVER late and NEVER missed work. I went to our son’s room and there he was just laying still, not moving, not breathing – he was gone. Suddenly, my best friend was gone. What he thought was a cold and indigestion was so much more. I was told after his passing, that he complained of chest pains while at work to his close friend Geter. I found out later he had a heart attack unknowingly. Because he didn’t know, he just kept going, which led to subsequent complications. At home, he forged on as the head of the house as usual, therefore, avoiding the fact that he was in distress or
facing unexplained adversity. I had to deal with shock. I was afraid and unable to figure out how to tell my children. I had to plough through the feeling of extreme loss, the sense of abandonment, the immediate loneliness and sheer pain. Just to reach over and feel the coolness of the sheets instead of the warmth of his body some days was overwhelming. I was broken in a way I never planned to experience until we were old, toothless and grey. I cried a million tears and then started again. Who would I share my stories with and the boring details of my day? I did not want to be here without him. In all my despair God gently reminded me that Tony was His child. God had allowed me to share in his affection, love, and protection. He let me in on a secret: Tony was an example of His love toward me – patient, unending, constant and true. Though I didn’t understand it, it was time for him to go home. I came to accept that I would have rather experienced Tony in my life than not. God reminded me of my faith in Him and that I can do all things through Him. The only way I made it through was not losing sight of God, who He is and His heart toward me. I also had to allow the people He sent in my path to love me, the opportunity to do so. He blessed me through people like my family and Pastors Eben and Sara, who put God first and made sure I knew they were available to me and for me. That kind of support always means a lot. Although the pain was great and obstacles since, insurmountable, I have been able to support my children, return to school for my masters, obtain my license in cosmetology, and live a fulfilling life. I credit God, my natural and spiritual parents, Word of Truth Family Church, counseling, as well as, two much needed books “I’m grieving as fast as I can” and “Getting to the other side of grief” for being the stable minded Christian woman I am today. I’m thankful for the time God allowed me to share with my husband. I’m thankful that Tony lived under the premise of work hard/play hard, because I have wonderful documented memories because of it. Twenty-five years together; I look back and am thankful,
I met him, knew him and loved him. I take great comfort knowing our story continues in the lives our those he touched, our children and in Heaven. Initially, it seemed daunting and impossible, but with faith and fortitude I made it! Sonya Smith is a member of WOTFC, a licensed cosmetologist from the Paul Mitchell Academy and caterer. Contact her at (817) 932-3516 or sosmith67@yahoo.com
ALMOST Melinda Miller I climbed the steps of the building that read Routh Street Woman’s Clinic, my friend Stacy was right behind me. It was an older building with several details to the structure. Stacy was 100 percent against my decision yet she still was there to support me. I had my mind made up. Was I really here? Sweet little Meme, the little Missionary, the good little kid, the teachers’ pet. My circumstance had changed. I was in college and I was pregnant! As I walked up the steps of the abortion clinic, I was so terrified of the rejection of others, and of being a failure that it was by any means necessary that I complete this procedure. I had not even thought about life with a child outside of marriage.
I always wanted to have kids. I already had the names picked out for a girl and boy for the first kid that I had. (Eboni Symone and Malcolm Rahad) First there was the sonogram, then the counseling session. I kept saying I would want to see the baby after the procedure was done which puzzled her. I was told that it would be a two-day process. I signed the forms releasing the clinic from damaging any organs or emergencies. I was more afraid of rejection, single motherhood, and failure than I was afraid of ruining my body and possibly dying.
T h e procedure started and I began to move. The Dr. aggressively said I needed to be still. I squeezed the nurse’s hand and I cried out on the inside “God please help me!” Moments later in frustration the doctor said: I can’t do this... get her dressed and get her out of here. During the sonogram, I learned I was 4-5 months pregnant. So I was in a whirlwind of emotions, I was pregnant by my childhood sweetheart.
How was I going to tell him? How was I going to tell my parents? How was I to tell the guy that I had just started dating? I finally came to terms with the decision. Though there were other options such as adoption, I decided to tough it out and take responsibility. I just loved her so much already that I was relieved the Dr. sent me out. I began to read a Baby Bible and Dictionary to her every morning. Just something so I could have a conversation with her in my womb. During delivery, the life I had grown to love so much was almost snatched again – she was in distress from the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. Finally they freed her and there she was, 7lbs 7oz and 21 inches long born on the 19th of May. I would not let her out of my site. I was so exhausted, I felt like sand was in my eyes. Every time I heard her make a noise I would jump to make sure she was ok....I counted her toes, her fingers, I knew everything about her.
I look at her from time to time now and realize how close I was to almost robbing myself of the joy she brings.
through an abortion know that God’s forgiveness and love is waiting for you. Allow Him to minister to you through His Spirit, Word and others. Scripture God is a refuge and strength a very present help in time of trouble. Melinda is a member of WOTFC. She’s married to Dennis, a licensed realtor & mom of Eboni, Kaitlyn & Ryan You can contact her at (214) 212 1585
always wanted her. I went to that clinic because I was afraid, immature and freaked out. She is one of the BEST decisions I ever made. When I got to WOT I finally let go the shame of my past. I accepted His forgiveness and see His mercy on our lives. I am married now to Dennis who has loved my daughter from the beginning. How blessed we all are to have experienced this love. If you are in a similar situation just know that with God all things are possible. Don’t abort the baby, there is so much purpose in store for them. If you have gone
A Faith that can’t be tested is a faith that can’t be trusted Tamara Marshall Admin Assistant at WOTFC She’s our Membership Care Coordinator, Mom & GlamMa...
The Safe Place - Pastor Sara Conner
ACCEPTED Nicole Shepperd I was a loner, ugly, promiscuous, a liar, too dark, too short, not smart enough, not good enough, not pretty enough ….. or at least that is how I felt about myself….. I was born into a situation that would predict a broken relationship between my biological father and I. Shortly after I was born, my father and mother divorced and I lost communication and complete contact with him for the first fifteen years of my life. Although I had no idea what rejection was at the time, I began to walk in the spirit of defeat and longed for acceptance from a man who was a hero to some but a stranger to me. I would go on to wait year after year, day after day for him to call or to write me a letter. I often dreamed of the day that he would show up at my track meet to surprise me or be in the stands while I did my pom-pom routine or better yet, maybe he would come to my choir concert or write me a letter to tell me how much he loved me. The dream never came true. At the age of 15, I stood face to face with a loss of a little girl’s dream to have a daddy by her side. Though I gave up on the vision of him coming to whisk me in his arms and tell me how much he loved me, I decided at that moment to reach out to him and call him. We met, shared many tears and long conversations attempting to get to know each other. We began to work on our relationship each year but the wound was still so very deep.
Despite the bitterness I still felt, I began to recognize that I had felt so bad about myself because I truly didn’t know who I was.
I was using the rejection I felt from him to define the core of who I was: my personal value. I never felt good enough. So I began to think that I could buy acceptance in my relationships, or if I prayed real hard, or if I found a scripture or if I just kept blaming my father, it would solve the problem. I even thought if I went back to school and accomplished my career goals, or if I had a family: a husband, a son, twin daughters maybe that would fulfill me and make me feel accepted. I learned over time and after many trials that I needed to surrender my emotional pain to God and to partner with the Word of God to have a victorious outcome and to put my victim mentality to rest for good. It was scriptures like “I am wonderfully and fearlessly made in the image of Christ” Psalms 139:14 and “I am head and not tail, above and not beneath” Deuteronomy 28:13 that allowed me to begin to chip away at the pain from my past.
Overcoming Rejection Pastor Eben Conner
Cassandra Cleveland - Robertson Cassandra Cleveland Robertson is an extraordinary psalmist and woman of faith with an authentic voice that moves the soul. Born and raised in Dallas, she now resides in McKinney, TX. She is a member of New Covenant Fellowship Church in McKinney, TX where she serves as Worship Pastor under Pastors Derrick and Ilya Golden. She is the owner of Face the Music Vocal Coaching in McKinney, TX. She truly embodies the term “Renaissance Woman”. She is founder and owner of Crossroads, a music ministry to terminally ill hospital patients. She owns and operates Food For Thought Catering, and in 2002, her dedication to the empowerment of women led her to establish Journeys for Women, a Christian Women’s Social Network. Cassandra has achieved national acclaim as a professional recording artist, lyricist, and speaker. As a professional recording artist, she is featured as soloist on 11 professional recordings and has shared the stage with a plethora of mainstream gospel and secular artists. She is best known for her anointed performance of “Silver and Gold” from the acclaimed Kirk Franklin & The Family’s “Why We Sing” debut album. Of all her accomplishments, she is most proud of her relationship with Jesus Christ and is privileged to work as HIS Ambassador. Cassandra’s desire to reach the lost and advance the Kingdom of God has taken her around the world. She is an international speaker, psalmist, and recording artist whose firm belief is, “The highest expression of Christianity is love” John 13:35. For Bookings Contact (214) 404 1510
Rochelle Newsome
Admin Assistant at WOTFC Question This woman was Barren but when God answered her prayer for a child, she dedicated her newborn son’s life to the lords work. Who is she? Hannah is one of the strongest female figures in the Bible, and a prime example of a dedicated mother 1 Samuel 1:1-28
Answer
I Peel Pretty Nothing beats the simplicity of a perfectly ripened Banana. Not only are Bananas great in smoothies, desserts or by themselves; the PEEL can save you a couple bucks on skin care! Adult Acne and Acne overall is NOT Fun! Last year I battled with it big time and Banana Peels actually helped to keep it at bay. Inside the wonderful peel you will find potassium and antioxidants waiting to reduce the inflammation monster we all know as ACNE! You’ll see a difference in irritation, swelling, redness and scaring.
How to “Peel Pretty”: •
Rub a small piece of banana peel on the affected area until the inside of the peel turns brown. • Leave it on for a minimum of 30 mins. and then wash it off with warm water. I leave it on overnight and wash it off in the morning. Your skin will absorb the good stuff as it dries. • Aim to do this 3 times a day and see sweet results! To ensure best results - Use ripe banana peels, with some black spots but not totally brown! And make sure they’re fresh :)
Naomi Cowan