2007
Embrace Grace ...”and he who waters will himself be watered.” - Proverbs 11:25
WOT R
Women Of The Rock
“And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from
the Father, full of grace and truth... For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.” - John 1:14,16
- WOTR Rock Community Church Ministry
WOT R 2007
Embrace Grace
l
testimonies of His grace... Psalm 139:14 “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”
Hebrews 4:14-16 “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
j
h
;
kh
; j
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
h
Contents
Women Of The Rock introduction 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08
l
09 10 11 12
Sonia Sun-Yang Lee Anita Parsons-Ko Diana Shin
Benita Cho-Pak Eileen Park
Hannah Kim Janette Lee Jean Chang Jen Kim
Judy Kim
Michelle To
Tammy Kim Tina Kim
p. 4-5 p. 6 p. 7 p. 8-9 p. 10 p. 11-13 p. 14-15 p. 16-19 p. 20-23 p. 24-26 p. 27 p. 28-29 p. 30-31
;; WOTR - Embrace Grace *
l
WOT R 2007
Embrace Grace
for His glory... T
his is our second year presenting these testimonies of the Women Of The Rock in the form of a booklet. Having the privilege of receiving and being able to read the submissions before they are entered into the booklet, it just seemed fitting to put Sonia’s testimony as the introduction to the book. Normally, we would have added it into the content in our best attempt at organizing everything in alphabetical order, but in this case, she is able to express how wonderful our Lord is, and how He can transform any life into something beautiful. Only the Lord can change water into beautiful snowflakes. Thank you to the women brave enough to share their heartfelt testimonies this year so that others may be blessed.
; ;
WOTR servants 2007
h
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
k
Sonia S u n -Ya n g L e e
Introduction
Sonia Sun-Yang Lee Perfect As A Snowflake
A
s I was watching the snow falling the other night, I
Sure we may all turn out dif-
thought what a beautiful and bright sight it was to see, and
ferent from one another, but
wondered if God would see us Christians the same way from
we will all be equally beau-
where He is.
tiful and perfect in the sight of God. I encourage you to
h
The life of a snowflake begins with one tiny ice crystal in the
spend time watching the
atmosphere where it is tossed in the clouds up and down by
snow falling together with
upright currents. It is interesting that no two single snowflakes
your family and see how
go through the same condition, resulting in every single one
we are meant to be here, like
to have a different shape and size from another. We can expe-
those snowflakes, to shine
rience that our lives are not so much different than that of a
and light up this world
snowflake. We are also all unique and we are also tossed up
that is falling into darkness.
and down in life sometimes that our sufferings and problems
Like the snowflakes cannot
never seem to stop. Some may go through harder journeys,
shine on their own but need
beat up and lose hope for peace to come and the turmoil to
a light source to radiate
end . But Jesus tells us not to ever lose hope because God is in
light, our source of light is
control of everything. If we only obey and trust what He has
Jesus who radiates His own
in store for us, we can see that no matter how hard our jour-
light to us so that we can all
ney is, it is worth the taking. As Philippians 1:6 says,
shine like Him. Yes, I think
“He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”
One day in God’s own time, we will be released from our suf-
l
God would be very pleased and find us beautiful from where He is.
Merry Christmas to you all!
ferings and we will be transformed into something amazing.
;
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
Anita Pa r s o n s - K o
01
...”I was reminded of how impressionable my actions and words are”...
Anita Parsons-Ko Matthew 5: 14-16 “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
W
h
ith Christmas fast approaching I thought that
it would be a good time to re-introduce Olivia, my 2 year old daughter, to a couple of Christmas books that she had received the previous year. After reading the books that afternoon Olivia seemed to have a pretty good understanding about the meaning of Christmas. The next morning as Olivia was eating her breakfast she declared, “Mommy, we need some birthday cake soon.” Bewildered I asked Olivia who the birthday cake was for. Unwaveringly Olivia stated “For Jesus’ birthday.” At that moment I was reminded of how impressionable my actions and words are on Olivia. Like a hawk, Olivia watches every move that I make and listens to every word that I say. Part of who she becomes will depend on what I do and say. What an awesome but very daunting role to serve. I have very big shoes to fill.
I can only
pray that God will supply me with the knowledge, wisdom, and insight to exemplify the kind of person that God calls us to be.
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
;
Diana Shin
“I decided to be committed and faithful in my service to the Lord”...
l
02
Diana Shin 1 Peter 4:11
“ Whoever speaks is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
I
n this verse Paul speaks about serving God in the last days. Service in the church is something I decided I wanted to do more of and by God’s grace he has found a way to use my mediocre abilities to build up God’s family and by doing a work in me at the same time. I don’t have a particular gift for teaching so I am an unlikely candidate to teach Sunday school. The last experience I had with teaching was when I was teaching English in Korea. The kids ran me down and fried my patience. Last year however, when God called me to serve by fulfilling a need in the church to be a teacher’s helper for Sunday school, I decided I would serve. Although teaching is not one of my strengths, I love kids. I knew that my gifts alone couldn’t do the work of the church but that other people’s gifts and abilities would make up for my deficiencies. I started off helping out with the 2 and 3 year olds. They were so cute but it was challenging when they cried, fought, and didn’t listen. I was then moved to the toddler class which was much of the same but with less talking and more crying. The months went by and the thought of quitting teaching crossed my mind more and more. I felt like I was missing out on the sermons. I felt like I wasn’t growing spiritually and I blamed teaching for that. How selfish that thought was! Sometimes just showing up is a large part of it. I decided to be committed and faithful in my service to the Lord by continuing to serve and how his glory has been exemplified through the little children.
With each bible verse they are able to recite, with every song they sing, toy they share with a friend, and every hug they give me, I am so fulfilled to see God’s love and grace exemplified through them. I love that I am helping them learn about God in their very early years of life. I don’t have any children of my own so I don’t know first-hand the experience of being a mother, but through teaching the children I know how it feels to be “motherly” and loving in that way. Jesus is teaching me to be faithful and loyal in my service and is showing me the wonderful and simple things revealed through the innocence of his little children and for that I am so grateful! In these last days and until the very end, I want to be serving the Lord fervently.
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
l
Benita C h o - Pa k
03.1
“... I began to pray – Lord help me through this.”
Benita Cho-Pak Proverbs 23:13-14 “Do not hold back discipline from the child. Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.”
I
t was difficult to bring myself to spank my son for the
first time but I knew that I had to discipline him. The other methods of discipline weren’t working in this particular situation. I was nervous and afraid that maybe it would really hurt or that he would hate me for it or even become more
; ;
rebellious because of it. As I grabbed the wooden spoon from the kitchen I began to pray – Lord help me through this. Help us learn from this and give me courage to do this right…and please don’t let him see any wrong in this or hate me for it, or hate You. I don’t remember how old he was at the time… somewhere around the age of 1 and a 1/2, I think. So, after giving him one more chance to redeem himself I told him that he was going to get a spanking despite the fact that I really didn’t want to do it. I don’t think he knew what a spank was as he cheerfully agreed to lie on my lap, but he was about to find out. I proceeded. My vision started to change and things looked like they were pulling further away from me. I thought I might black out. The first couple of spanks made him laugh and giggle as if it were a new game for him but by the third, he started to cry. I immediately wanted to comfort him and say - “I’m sorry!” But I was silent as he wrapped his arms tightly around me crying – “I’m sorry! I love you mommy!” “I love you too” - I said, and quietly thanked the Lord. I remember being so relieved and surprised by his response.
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
h
Benita C h o - Pa k
“Love never fails...”
03.2
l
Benita Cho-Pak
The same sort of thing happened with my second child.
As I continue, I go back to
Spanking my son didn’t make it easier to do to my little girl.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8. I re-
What has happened though is that there are times when I
member His instructions
abuse the Lord’s instruction and use it in the wrong way.
and I will trust Him in His
Either to threaten a spank to get the desired action I want,
word and simply obey. And
or, because of my frustration and loss of temper. Giving
the times when I fail I will
warning is different from threatening. I must remember that
wrap my arms around my
when I discipline I must love:
Lord and ask for His for-
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ”Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous, love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all
giveness and tell Him that I love Him.
things. Love never fails”… I hope that my children don’t learn my ways but the Lord’s way. I have to continue to obey Him and trust His word for He is righteous and holy. I’m thankful for His word. He’s wise and loving and I need His counsel because I don’t know how to please Him without it. And I know He wants the best for us and our children. I realize that I never knew what was right or wrong until I met Him, until I studied His word.
actions and attitude towards them, I see my lack of trust in the Lord…how I’ve given in to their crying, how I’ve given into my frustration, impatience and temper.
; ;
As I continue to discipline my children and reflect upon my
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
Eileen Pa r k
04
Eileen Park
...”our most basic and important
need is salvation.”
What Maslow Forgot to Include...
A
1. Physiological needs (e.g. food and shelter) 2. Safety needs 3. Belonging and love needs 4. Esteem needs (e.g. academic achievement and respect) 5. Need for Self-Actualization (e.g. achieve fullest potential)
Someone who is at the highest stage, self-actualization, can be described as one who has reached a high level of moral development, is more concerned about the welfare of others than themselves, and is committed to a cause rather than working for fame or money. Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama are examples of people who are considered to have achieved this, and they are revered all around the world. I have the opportunity to interact with many great people who genuinely strive to reach this level of self-actualization. They are very passionate and influential, yet humble and altruistic. Needless to say, I learn so much from them and I am inspired by them on a day to day basis. At the same time, however, I am troubled when I remember that they are not believers, and that they have not realized that our most basic and important need is salvation. In fact, I often hit a brick wall when we have conversations regarding this. They seem to have difficulty understanding that at the end of the day, it is not about “karma” or “the law of attraction” and despite of how much we great work we do, the only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ. Paul said it so simply: “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” - Romans 2:23 “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” - Romans 6:23 Isn’t it so comforting to know that regardless of what stage in Maslow’s hierarchy we are at when we die, we have the gift of eternal life with our Lord?
10
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
;
; ;
ccording to Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs”, every individual has an inner directed drive to be their best self, but more basic needs must be met before higher-level ones can become active. The Hierarchy of Needs is as follows (from basic to high):
;
l
Hannah Kim
“I was hoping that by NOW, after 7 years, our marriage would be “better” as I had always imagined it to be.”
05.1
Hannah Kim
How God raised my marriage from the dead
S
ung and I have been married now for almost 15 years, the past 8 of which have been the happiest in my life. I can honestly say that I love him more now than I ever have before…but things haven’t always been this way, far from it.
At that moment, my stomach just dropped, like on a roller coaster ride.
There was a time when I was so miserable in my marriage that I would fantasize about being a widow. As a Christian, I knew divorce was not an option, so I would daydream about what it would be like to live as a widow with my girls..and without Sung.
I saw that I was heading towards a place I thought I wanted, (better without him) but realized that, that was not the true answer to bringing me joy. Then the truth hit me. Who would love you? You are old, in your 30’s, with two kids. Who do you think you are? And for the first time, I saw that our marriage, my husband, and his love for me was a gift from God. I couldn’t take that for granted. I repented right there not to take Sung’s love for granted and to see it as a gift from God and to cherish it. I also promised never to have thoughts of wanting to be alone again.
This was all happening around the time of our “7 year itch”. Have you ever heard of it? People say that you either get a divorce during the first three years, on your seventh year, or after your kids move out and go to college. The “7 year itch” is when you come to that point in your marriage where you were expecting that by NOW, things would have changed…or rather HE would have changed, but he hasn’t, and you realize that he may never change, and you feel hopeless. The “7 year itch” in my marriage was the turning point for me and in our relationship. At the time, I didn’t realize it, but I too was holding on to unspoken expectations of my husband and our relationship in our marriage. I was hoping that by NOW, after 7 years, our marriage would be “better” as I had always imagined it to be. When I saw that nothing had changed in the past 7 years, I lost all hope and honestly had no more energy or will left in me to go on in our marriage. I allowed myself to listen to the devil’s lies, telling me that I deserved better, that I would be better off without him…that I could find a better guy who would really know how to treat me….so I marched right up to Sung and just told him that I had given up on us. He didn’t know what to say or how to respond so he just walked away…no begging me to change my mind, no willingness to change. If that’s how I was going to be, he was just going to let me get what I wanted.
The Lord used John 11, the story of when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, to teach me two crucial lessons that I needed to learn to save my marriage. . One, God wanted me to surrender my expectations and timetable. Two, God couldn’t work in
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
11
Hannah Kim
05.2
“I had to deny myself and surrender to Him and that meant my marriage too.”
Hannah Kim my life until I was completely dead to myself. I had to deny myself and surrender to Him and that meant my marriage too. John 11: 3 “Therefore the sisters sent to Him, saying, “Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick.” I’m sure Martha and Mary were expecting Jesus to come right away, to heal Lazarus from his sickness, just like I was expecting Jesus to come in those first seven years, and make Sung into the husband that I expected. John 11:6 “So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.” When Jesus didn’t come right away, the two sisters must have still held onto some expectations that Jesus would come in those three days after Lazarus died. It was a common belief that even after death, your spirit hovered near the body for three days. In the early years in our marriage after I realized that my marriage wasn’t what I wanted it to be, I continued to hold on to
12
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
the hope that eventually my expectations would be met. John 11:17 “So when Jesus came, He found that he had already been in the tomb four days.” Jesus waited until Lazarus was dead for four days to come to Martha and Mary and to see Lazarus. In the same way, Jesus allowed Sung to walk away from me that day and show me that I had to completely let go of all my expectations of him. Jesus was waiting for me to let go of all my expectations in my marriage and to be patient. I hadn’t even realized that I had my own expectations and desires. God had to wait on me until ALL my expectations and my own desires were dead and completely surrendered to God for Him to work in my life and in my marriage and most importantly in my heart. I would give God the yo-yo; surrendering but with strings attached. I would say that I surrendered, but still hold on to the hope of my expectations being met and on my time. God said, “No”, and waited until I was completely dead to myself and fully surrendered to Him. vs. 14 Then Jesus said to them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. vs. 15 “And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, that you may believe. Nevertheless let us go to him.” It was only after Lazarus was dead that Jesus could resurrect him. It is only after you are completely dead to all your own expectations that God can resurrect your life and your marriage. Matt. 16:24 “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” Gal. 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the [life] which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
; l
;
Hannah Kim
“And God answered my cry and restored my heart.”
05.3
Hannah Kim
It is the basic foundation of our faith. God wants us to deny ourselves, to die to ourselves and to live only for Him. God is the only one that can resurrect a life that was once dead. He can renew your heart, restore your marriage and bring back what was once lost. I remember sitting there, completely hopeless and scared in the basement. I had nothing left in me. All I could do was to cry out to God for help, to change my heart and to renew my spirit and mind in Him. I had to deny myself all over again. I had to surrender my life and my marriage to God. And God answered my cry and restored my heart. It was as simple as looking at it from a different point of view, from God’s point of view. I heard him say, “Surrender all to Me and deny yourself.” He also reminded me that love and marriage is a gift, and to cherish it.
h
vs. 4 “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” I know that God had to bring me to this point to reveal my heart. I thank God now for all the heartache and pain of the early years and give Him glory because He literally raised my marriage back from the dead and renewed my heart and love. Now we have been married for almost 15 years, and I must say that the last 8 years have been the best in our marriage and relationship. I love Sung more today than the first day we wed. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments, when I fall and have to surrender all over again. That is the life of a Christian. So ladies, for those going through something like “the 7 year itch”, don’t lose heart. Surrender your desires, expectations and deny yourself completely to God and He will raise a godly, loving marriage. For those who haven’t gone through it yet, remember, cherish your husband and his love and remember, your marriage is a gift from God. May our marriages give God glory and honor and may they be a good testimony to others. God bless.
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
13
06.1
Janette Lee L
h
Ja n e t t e Lee
...”the more life seemed to prove me wrong, the more I felt the need to try and control it.”
ately I find myself thinking about what it means
stop me from trying. In fact the
to believe – not in an abstract theological way but what
more life seemed to prove me
does it mean for me to believe today – to me personally?
wrong, the more I felt the need
The more I reflect, the more one word seems to come to
to try and control it.
mind – for me, to believe today means to be brave. So the question remained, what Recently I had a “long-time-coming” girlfriend chat with
does it mean to believe? Where
BFF Soojin. She listened to me vent for hours, What does
was my – here’s the big word
it all mean? I feel like I’m living life holding my breath….
– faith? After much thought I
I go to work, sit in front of a computer, fight traffic, go
must admit that this is where I
home, make dinner, try to scrap together a few hours of
am in my spiritual walk today,
downtime only to start all over again in the morning. Life
in a state of flux between fear
is sucking the life out of me. She endured all my clichés,
and faith. It’s nothing to write
let me be angry, let me cry and eventually made me laugh
home to Mom about but it’s
at the drama queen and crazy control freak that I was. A
real. In my heart I know that
good friend, no?
knowing God means opening yourself up, giving yourself up
One of the benefits of a good girlfriend chat is that some-
to the unknown – to the count-
how through the laughs and tears you get a little clar-
less number of ways God can
ity and Sooj helped me realize something about myself.
and will work in your life. God
Somewhere between the carefree confident kid and the
is a God of the impossible and
“grown up” I had become, I had become something else
my carnal self is scared by the
too – I was afraid. I had a job, but it wasn’t the life-fulfill-
ominous unknown but my re-
ing thing that I thought it was going to be. I was mar-
born self clings to the idea of
ried to a husband I loved, but marriage was work - it
possibility and hopes.
wasn’t the “easy-peasy” relationship I thought it was going to be. And then there was life itself. By 30, I had seen
I recognize that this is part of
enough unexpected loss through the passing of loved
the dying to self process. I real-
ones, house fires and car accidents to be shaken into a be-
ize that God is breaking down
lief that no matter how much you plan, you can’t control
my ill-conceived notions of
or anticipate what will happen in life. But that didn’t
happiness and self reliance and
14
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
;
Ja n e t t e Lee
...”having faith means to embrace change; to not let life cower (you) into a corner.”
He is doing so not to control me but to free me …but I have to admit I find it difficult to let go. I’m puzzled by people who think Christianity is a crutch for the weak. I think to be living the abundant life takes bravery – not the human kind, that’s just a shadow of the real stuff. Christian bravery is the epic kind – wrapped up in what we call faith. For me today, having faith means to embrace
06.2
Janette Lee
l
change; to not let life cower me into a corner. For me today bravery means to believe moment by moment, circumstance by circumstance, that I do not need to know what tomorrow holds but only that I need to know Him. I wish I could have a more victorious testimony for you Ladies but I haven’t quite figured it out yet but I’m closer today than I was last year. So for today this is my profession of faith; through the doubts, anxiety and fear, despite the doubts, anxiety and fear I want to be with Him. He is all I need.
;
;
;
Romans 8:22-25 “For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.”
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
15
h;
Je a n Chang
07.1
Jean Chang
“Was my faith choice a mistake?”
Hebrews 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”
W
hat is the scariest decision that you have ever made by
faith? Have you ever thrown yourself out there and put everything on the line for the Lord? Probably one of the scariest faith choices I ever made was when I decided not to go back to work when my maternity leave was over and to start a business with Euge from home instead. Josh was born when Abbie was only fourteen months old, so we had been living off of single income since Abbie was born and financially things were already tight. Eugene and I had always said that I would stay home when we decided to have kids…but we didn’t expect that we would be having kids so soon after we got married. (Abbie was a honeymoon surprise!) When the reality of monthly expenses and unpayable credit card bills started piling up, we felt the temptation to “rationalize away” our original convictions and just have me go back to work. Nevertheless, the Lord wouldn’t make it easy. At the time, as a young baby, Josh was suffering from severe eczema, asthma, and food allergies, making even the possibility of sending him to daycare a non-option. Eugene , being the entrepreneur-at-heart that he is, suggested that we start a business from home instead. He said that he would set it up so that eventually I could run most of it myself. He wanted to pursue this idea that he had had years earlier to create customized
16
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
Je a n Chang
l
“Lord, didn’t you say you would provide for all of our needs?”
07.2
Jean Chang
children’s books, using caricatures of people’s faces. At the time, though, it was only an idea and he did not have a concrete business plan of exactly how the books would look, how we would market them, or who would be our suppliers. On top of that, we had no money, so starting the business would mean taking a high-interest loan from the bank. Instead of saving money and getting out of debt, the plan was to get chinhigh in more debt! I was shaking in my pants! Having grown up with parents who always had financial difficulties, this idea was even harder for me to swallow. The last thing I wanted was to be in the same boat. Eugene left it up to me. He knew I was already a worry wart and didn’t want to even begin to pursue this business idea if I wasn’t going to be on board 100%. He warned me that making money from a business would take time and that I would have to be patient. I remember sitting in the car on the way to the bank, just freaking out inside, thinking, “Can I handle this? Am I going to be able to handle this pressure of more debt?” “But my righteous one shall live by faith; and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” - Hebrew 10:38 What it boiled down to, was that I knew God wanted to me to make my choice by faith. If I went back to work, it would have been the easy way out and it wouldn’t have required any faith at all. The business, on the other hand, would be opening up the opportunity for God to provide a way for me to stay home and raise the kids. So we took the plunge…we drove to the bank, took out a loan and away we went… The next 2 years would prove to be among the most stressful of my life! Like any business, the first year was all about spending; spending time and money on equipment, supplies, and just living expenses to make ends meet. When we finally came up with a marketable product, Eugene started going to door-to-door in our neighbourhood to see what the consumer response would be to our product. We ended up coming up with a grand total of 15 sales for the year! I was devastated. After 2 years, our bank loan was just about dried up, our credit limits were bursting at the seams,
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
17
Je a n Chang
07.3
Jean Chang
h;
“But God in his mercy, got
a hold of me and opened my eyes to my foolishness.”
and I was on the verge of a
when our funds were about to dry up, we got our first big
nervous breakdown!
break in the business. The local Police Department bought
several thousand copies of a custom book that we had been Had God failed me? I kept
designing for them. Then a year later, one of our customers
asking Him, “Lord, didn’t
who had bought one of our books off of ebay, e-mailed us to
you say you would provide
tell us that she was the editor-in-chief of a Baby Magazine in
for all of our needs? Don’t
the United States, and she wanted to feature our product in
you remember that I made
her magazine! For the first time in 3 years we started getting
the faith choice for you?”
online orders from all across the United States from New York
and then came that fearful
and Florida, as far as Hawaii and Alaska…and even one from
question deep down in my
Paris, France!
heart, “Was that faith choice
I was humbled…I needed to repent of my faithlessness and
to start the business a MIS-
doubt. God had come through for us when we needed Him
TAKE????”
the most…so you think that by then, I would learn to trust
What a fool I was to allow
Him, right? Well, foolish as I am, when sales started to decline
all my doubts and fears to
a year later and a trade show that we attended didn’t produce
consume me like that. There
the sales volume I had expected, instead of resting patiently on
I was, thinking I had made
the Lord and His perfect timing, I found myself worrying all
this grand “faith choice” for
over again. What’s worse, is that my worry affected everyone
God, but I couldn’t go a day
around me. I became impatient and mean towards the kids,
in those 2 years without ex-
and I lashed out at Eugene and blamed him for everything.
periencing anxious thoughts
(poor guy!) The stress I put on our marriage due to my worry-
and nervousness, staring at
ing became so severe that we came to the point of wondering
the numbers on paper and
if our marriage would be able to survive. Once again, I heard
freaking out inside. There
that fearful question deep down inside, “Was that faith choice
was no genuine trust, no
to start the business a MISTAKE???”
genuine faith. But God in his mercy, got a hold of me and opened my eyes But God is so gracious and
to my foolishness. He said, “Jean, stop looking at the numbers
merciful.
Two years after
on paper and start looking around you! Have I not provided
we started our business, just
for all of your needs? Have you not been able to stay home
18
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
Je a n Chang
l
“I was finally able to give it to Him with no strings attached.”
07.4
Jean Chang
and raise your kids these past 6 years? Do you not have food
There was a time in this sea-
on your table and a roof over your head? Have I not evolved
son of testing when I read
the business into something that you are able to operate from
this verse and I shook my
home, just like you always wanted?” And once again I need-
fist at God and said, “You’re
ed to repent. There I was, staring at the numbers, demanding
wrong! You lied to me. You
that God do things in my timing and in my way; but God in
haven’t supplied my needs.”
his infinite wisdom and mercy, did everything in His better timing and in His better way. Through the waiting and test-
But He wasn’t wrong, I was
ing of my faith, He showed me these last several years, what
wrong. He didn’t lie, I did,
the true state of my heart really was, and how I had no clue
when I said that I trusted
what it really meant to “live by faith.” If God had given me
Him. Now, because of what
everything I wanted right away, I would have walked around
He brought me through, I do
arrogantly thinking that “living by faith” meant getting ev-
trust Him and I know that He
erything that I want for myself, just because I asked Him for
would never lie. And I finally
it…like a spoiled brat.
have an answer to that question that’s been haunting me
Now whenever I think about our business, I am filled with
all these years… “Was that
so much joy and gratitude…not because God has blessed it
faith choice a MISTAKE?”
and allowed us to enjoy some measure of success in it, but because of what He has taught me about Himself and myself through it. It doesn’t matter to me anymore whether or not the business succeeds, because I was finally able to give it to Him with no strings attached. He can do what He wants
The answer is a resounding NO! I see now that no decision made by
faith is ever a mistake.
with it, but the important thing is that I know now that He is trustworthy and will always provide for all of my needs…in
My hope and prayer is that
His time and in His way.
we will all continue to make faith choices in our lives
“And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 4:19
with confidence and assurance that He is “a rewarder of those who seek Him.” Amen.
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
19
h
Je n Kim
08.1
“Doubts and negative
Jen Kim The events leading up to the birth of our second son Jonathan Boaz were nothing less than a “gift from God…in His strength.”
I
thoughts were flooding my
mind. Who will help?”
School at the same time.” I put an announcement in the jubo
that anyone interested in soccer camp or VBS could sign up at the back of the sanctuary. Three people signed up…Hmmm, I thought. No one is really interested. Doubts and negative thoughts were flooding my mind. Who will help? What do I know about Vacation Bible School anyway? People are too busy right now since opening service is coming up. There’s so much to
be done before the baby comes. Then a week later, when I met t was the beginning of
July. I was just relieved to
with Michelle for our bi-weekly small group, one verse just popped out at me and I knew God was speaking directly to
be done work and looking
me: “…if this plan or action is of men it will be overthrown; but if
forward to some time with
it is of God you will not be able to overthrow them; or else you may
Josiah before the baby came. So much was happening. Opening service was around the corner, my mother-inlaw was getting ready to move out, I was tutoring a couple of times a week, and I hadn’t even thought about preparing the baby’s room
even be found fighting against God.” – Acts 6:38-39. This verse was in reference to the early disciples in their quest to spread the gospel. To me, though, God was telling me directly to go ahead and plan and if it is His will, it will succeed. How beautiful it is when God takes over and a few of His people trust in Him. Cost, food, crafts, worship, soccer, curriculum…everything came together because God brought it together:
or clothes or anything really. I received word from Rosan that soccer camp was good to go at the end of July. Looking at the calendar, I thought, “You know, with our Sunday school being as big as it is, there is no reason we can’t do a Vacation Bible
20
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
COST: I had a budget of $250 for food plus $20 per family for the camp. Not knowing how many kids would end up coming, I counted about 50 kids if ALL the kids in Sunday School came and brought friends. I ordered craft supplies accordingly. We had children ranging from 2 to 12, and the variety of crafts and materials had to match. Also, we were feeding the children and their parents lunch every day so
;
;
Je n Kim
;
“God multiplied our fish and bread
indeed!”
l
;
08.2
Jen Kim
we had to factor all of that into our cost. I gave Hannah the meager budget of $250 for the week to feed approximately 65- 70 people a day for five and when she went out to get the groceries, the bill came out to $245! The crafts we ordered were just enough. On the days when we needed less, fewer kids came. On the days we needed more, we had extras. At the end of five days, after ordering over 200 crafts, only 5 were leftover. Amazing! And the cost? The money that came in paid for it…exactly! FOOD: For less than a dollar a day per person, Hannah and Jean planned the food menu. Children and parents ate yummy, healthy food including hotdogs, sandwiches and even spaghetti and meatballs! We even had leftovers. God multiplied our fish and bread indeed! Even the rain held off for the whole week so we were able to have a picnic outside everyday. CRAFTS:
Not only did the cost and numbers work out perfectly
for the crafts, but Michelle pre-made all of them to look for flaws in packaging and/or design. She separated, cut, glued, pre-made and changed the design for all the crafts ahead of time so that we could be sure that they would be doable for the kids. They were indeed doable and the children all enjoyed making them. Thank God for Michelle’s foresight and craftiness! WORSHIP:
For worship, Benita and I met and prayed over what
songs to teach and she prepared actions to go with them. Those who were there saw the Spirit move among the children as we learned these new songs and worshiped together! I was moved to tears when I saw children raising their hands and worshiping God from their hearts!
h; WOTR - Embrace Grace *
21
Je n Kim
08.3
Jen Kim
;
...”children from the neighborhood...
heard the gospel for the first time...”
SOCCER: As usual, the soccer camp was awesome! Rosan taught the children both skills and sportsmanship and the children improved and too. The week culminated with the giving of medals and trophies to children for displaying excellence in various skills. Children and parents were blessed...and it didn’t rain even though the forecast called
l
;
enjoyed themselves immensely. Daniel, Albert and John all helped
for rain on two of the five days. CURRICULUM: The curriculum was a simple step by step presentation of the gospel using a “Treasure Chest” theme. Every “little item” including the colored plastic gems I found at the dollar store were used. Even the colors Miriam used to decorate the treasure box matched perfectly with my visuals, which she didn’t see until after she made the box. The best part about this curriculum was that children from the neighborhood and friends of church members came and heard the gospel for the first time. Only God knows if the little seeds planted will one day sprout. I praise Him for His Word, which exclaimed the Gospel to the children and for bringing all the ideas, materials and resources we needed together in only the way He could. It would be enough to simply end my testimony here and exclaim isn’t God AWESOME??? I didn’t even mention the craziness in the lives of all the people who were involved. Hannah and Jean were hosting out of town guests, Benita had a sick child, Michelle’s husband had to drive home earlier after night shift so she could take the car. In short, everyone had an excuse not to be there, but they were still there doing their part. How amazing it is to see what God will do when His people act in faith.
22
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
;
;
;
l
;
...”He was taking care of the needs of all His children including me.”
Je n Kim
08.4
Jen Kim
But the story doesn’t end here for me. I was a week away from my due date and I was having sharp pains and cramps that came and went. I asked some people to pray for me, that I wouldn’t have the baby early, because frankly, I didn’t really have a “plan B” in case I went into labor. Well, I made it through the week of Soccer Camp, and even to opening service that Sunday and God knew I needed to be there. Pastor Sung’s sermon on “Faith verses Fear” ministered to me as I headed into labor the following day. With each contraction, I was reminded that I didn’t need to be afraid of the pain. Jesus was with me and He was helping me. He had revealed to me through the Soccer camp that He was taking care of the needs of all His children including me. I had
;
a sense of peace in the midst of the most painful contractions. The timing of our son’s birth was perfect. Jay and I reflected and prayed for a week over all the events leading up to the birth of our son before we finally named him. Our son was a gift.
His birth was a gift. The details of the delivery were a gift.
No one could ask for a more beautiful moment. I didn’t have a single needle or cord attached to me this time and no complications. I even got to pull him out myself! And it was all done in His strength – the praying, the planning, the organizing, the teaching…and finally, the pushing!
Everything was done truly in His strength. How suitable it was when we named our son Jonathan Boaz, meaning “a gift from God” (Jonathan)… “in His strength” (Boaz).
;
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
23
Judy Kim
09.1
Judy Kim Revelations 3:7-8 “ ‘He who opens and no one shuts, and shuts and no one opens I know your works. See, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength, have kept my Word and have not denied My name’
h
;
”I did not understand the weight of
I
what she was tellin me.”
was 32 weeks pregnant. One night (actually, it was my
birthday) I was experiencing chest pains and had difficulty breathing so I contacted the hospital and they recommended I get checked out as a precaution. I was in the hospital for about 4 days and underwent several tests. Some tests indicated slight abnormalities but no test result could definitively
l
;
conclude a firm diagnosis of any sort. I was sent home. While at home that weekend, I lost 8 lbs, had an insatiable thirst, was lethargic and dizzy. Eddie urged me to call the hospital again. I was reluctant because I had just been discharged but I called. That night, I ended up admitted yet again. This time I was diagnosed with a rare form of type 1 diabetes. More accurately, I am type 1B. It is so rare, I am the 9th reported case internationally and am a case study for my doctor. I was in such a bad state upon admission that the doctors told me I was lucky to have come in and be treated when I did. If I had waited any longer I would have been in a coma and lost my baby. My doctor told me that I would be hospitalized for several weeks and that I would no longer be working for the remainder of my pregnancy because my life would be drastically changing to accommodate my diabetes. She told me I would be closely followed by herself (OB-Gyn), an endocrinologist, diabetes educator and dietician weekly. I would also be getting weekly ultrasounds to monitor our baby. At the time, I didn’t quite understand why it was so intense. I did not understand the weight of what she was tell-
24
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
;
l
“God turned something
ugly and made my life so beautiful.”
Judy Kim
09.2
Judy Kim
ing me. Soon enough, I found out how
fection. I constantly thought of my baby inside
hard it was to be pregnant and slapped
wondering if she felt my stress and overwhelm-
with a life-altering diagnosis.
ing sadness, wondering if she was okay despite me and my body.
I was put on a strict, timed diet: I checked my blood sugar via pin prick
I began to ask myself why? Why was this hap-
at a minimum of 8 times a day, injected
pening? I wracked my brain asking what had I
insulin 7 times a day, had a pre-deter-
done? Was it a wrong attitude I had let go on for
mined and measured out amount of
too long? Everything was going so well. I imaged
carbohydrate for every meal and snack
a normal pregnancy, a healthy baby. I assumed
per day and had to wear a timer to re-
I would be healthy in my life for a long time. I
mind me to check my blood sugars at
spent many days busy with the schedule and
specific times. If I took an extra BITE of a
nights just crying, exhausted.
carbohydrate, it would make my blood sugars shoot up. I had to be extremely
Though I was going through this, something in-
disciplined to make sure my body was
side of me refused to turn against God in anger.
safe to carry our baby for the remain-
My usual pattern in the past when life gave me
der of my pregnancy. Although I was
trouble is: anger then pulling away from God,
compliant, it was far from perfect. The
then sadness and guilt, then I’d humble myself
body becomes less sensitive to insulin
and draw closer to God then things would be
as the pregnancy progresses. So what
good, then I’d become complacent, then I’d hit
made a good balance one week would
another challenge and the cycle would begin
not work the next. There were times
again. This time I refused to let the devil take a
my blood sugars were so low, I could
foothold. I wanted to break from this stupid pat-
barely stand, I was shaking, sweating
tern. I remembered all that God has done for me
and suddenly very sleepy.
in the past, all the blessings of my life. I clung to those and chose to believe in God’s goodness
You’d think that this was enough but
and that He loves me. How could I accept the
no. On top of this, I had a urinary tract
good and not the bad?
infection and burned my leg with hot glue which wouldn’t heal (because of
Though this time was the most difficult of my
diabetes) and this became a bad in-
life, God turned something ugly and made my
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
25
;
h
Judy Kim
09.3
Judy Kim
...”the most important of all
was to consistently spend time in prayer”...
life so beautiful. He showed me His love for me
week helping me balance my blood
through other people.
sugars, answering all my questions. She was a strong advocate for me,
I have a husband who was literally by my side every-
never let anything get by her…she
day. He refused to leave me for a moment. Sleeping
was genuine, caring and went above
on a chair nightly, he never complained. He learned
and beyond all the time.
everything to know about diabetes along with me. I pretended to understand when the doctors and nurs-
God sent me an angel of a nurse who
es educated me about insulin and all the details sur-
was my one on one nurse the day I
rounding balancing blood sugars. Later, when I had
was admitted. She also volunteered
more energy, I would ask Eddie to re-explain it all to
to be my nurse the day I was to be
me and patiently he would repeat himself as many
induced and saved the biggest and
times as it took. He fielded all the phone calls, fol-
best private room for us. That night
lowed up with the nurses and doctors about every
we also found out she is a believer
detail I would never have remembered. As many of
herself. God made that delivery day
these amazing things that he did, the most important
all the more calming and special as
of all was he consistently spent time in prayer with
we shared our lives with one anoth-
me, encouraging me with God’s Truth, which helped
er.
push out the discouraging lies that would slip into Finally, God protected our daughter.
l
my mind.
She was born perfectly healthy and
diligently and had others pray for me. When Eddie returned to work, one of our parents was always with me at home or at my appointments. Rich and Tammy were there to listen, spend time with us, and helped us with so many things we couldn’t do ourselves
absolutely beautiful. The doctors tell me I’m very lucky she is here today. I can not imagine our lives without her. I know she is here because of God and God alone.
;
God gave me family and friends who prayed for me
and because of that help, we were able to prepare for
Yes, I am still diabetic and yes I
Claire and re-focus on something positive.
struggle with it from time to time.
Things may or may not change but I God sent me a diabetes nurse educator who was absolutely amazing. She and I spoke at least 3 times a
26
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
am alright with either way because
I know I am in His Will.
l
;
Michelle To
10
Michelle To Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord,
h
“plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”
T
he Lord taught me
some big lessons this year, about having faith in Him and His timing.
When I
read this verse, it reminds me that no matter what is going on in my life, even if it is something really bad, I need to trust God that He knows what’s best for me. This year I came to really understand that He is the controller of my life, not me. And that it does not matter what I want, but instead to seek out what He wants. I am so thankful for the lessons He taught me this year. Even though some were hard and painful, I know that He acted out of love and for my well-being.
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
27
Ta m m y Kim
11.1
“... that grace involved a huge sacrifice that has changed my life forever. But has it?”
Tammy Kim Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
h
T
l
he more I learn about the ways of the Lord, and the more
I try to apply it to my life, the more I realize how opposite His Word is to my nature. Not too long ago I read a devotional about a woman who said she was wired with firecrackers in her blood, and I can definitely relate. After 10 years of marriage, one thing my husband has learned is how to really push my buttons! And heart, now boil in my blood.
They say familiarity breeds contempt. But one thing I have never
felt from my husband was a lack of love. And for the first time in
over 10 years, I actually thought the love was lost. But I’ve realized that within those 10 or more years together, our love for each other has evolved beyond feelings. In other words, those feelings that carried us for 10 years is now going to take work to maintain. Gary Smalley said it best - Love is a decision. And that is precisely the kind of thing the Lord was telling me to do - not to rely on my feelings anymore, but on His grace. And that grace involved a huge sacrifice that has changed my life forever. But has it? I had to really ask myself that very question and I came to the conclusion that I have fallen way short. And I’m not talking about falling
28
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
;
;
when we began dating, those firecrackers that used to beat in my
;
;
Ta m m y Kim
“...there is nothing worse or more unattractive than an ungrateful heart.”
11.2
Tammy Kim
short of earning that grace, but I’ve fallen short of appreciating that grace. And there is nothing worse or more unattractive than an ungrateful heart. This year, I have realized that I was taking so many things for granted. Thankfully, the Lord taught me a valuable lesson. Not only was I taking my husband for granted, but I was taking the Lord’s grace for granted. I was acting as if I had the right to hold onto things that hurt me or I felt I had the right to be angry about. But when I was reminded of how the Lord died for my sins and how I don’t deserve any portion of the life He has blessed me with, I realized I was so wrong. And in my shame, I was humbled and sought His generous forgiveness. “And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” And my sentiments ring true with Paul who wrote that ..”Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9 Rich and I are both far from perfect. But I love him, and I love the Lord with all my heart. The road ahead of us may suddenly be all uphill, but just like the Psalmist wrote...
l
Psalm 121:1-2
“I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth.” Amen.
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
29
12.1
h
Tina Kim
Tina Kim Isaiah 40:8 “The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever.”
;
I
“God always pulls through”
love writing the Word for Todays. Although they are pri-
marily aimed to minister to others, I have to assert that writing them
has blessed and encouraged me more than I could have imagined. It has revealed to me more than ever that the Word of God is truly inexhaustible. I could visit the same passage multiple times and glean
yet another insight and truth that I never thought of before. The su-
perabundant wealth of God’s Word is the reason why I can write these little devotions for five years – and still keep at it! To me, that’s a miracle! I never thought I would continue this long. Sitting at the
computer and opening my Bible has opened up a world of divine spiritual feasts and enlightening truths that have delighted my soul and refreshed my heart.
This little ministry that appears small and ordinary has come with
scores of exciting twists and turns because the Lord has worked dif-
ferently each time. Sometimes He gives me insights right away so I know exactly what I’m going to write. Other times, I pull my hair out in a panic because of writers block but in the end, God always
pulls through. He also places thoughts and ideas in my head that I mull over for weeks before I feel led to write them. And still other times, the timing is a big part of it. There are things I want to write
down right away, but I sense the Lord is not releasing me to write them yet because the timing isn’t right.
Another blessing God has opened up is that the Word for Today’s
have also led to other relationships with people I didn’t really know very well before. I didn’t expect this ministry to be such a terrific way to get to know someone. Sometimes people will respond to my
Word for Today’s and right then and there a friendship can be established. What begins as a short email of thanks can turn into a colorful time of sharing and fellowship. I’ve found prayer partners through
this ministry. I have shared in the hurts and struggles of others. At
one time, a dinner invitation was even made, one that Thomas and I thoroughly enjoyed as we got to know the couple better.
30
* WOTR - Women Of The Rock
Tina Kim
l
...”spending time in the Word
and prayer is the old secret to an abundant life.”
; Tina Kim 12.2
The Word for Today ministry has also blessed me spiritually.
Rather it’s about what God
prayer is the old secret to an abundant life. There really is no
people. And that inevita-
I’m always reminded that spending time in the Word and
other answer to that elusive question the world has pondered over for many years. Whenever I feel dry and parched, and not
really inclined to seek the Lord, this ministry has really held me accountable. The responsibility of sharing God’s truth twice a
week has saved me at times from going in a downward spiral.
As I turn to that relevant passage of Scripture, I get humbled once again by the life convicting truths God has written to us.
Thus, it turns my gloom into joy. The Word feeds and nourishes your spirit like no other. It’s a refreshing stream of water to a
thirsty soul. And this ministry does not permit me to write just anything or carelessly throw things out there. It requires me
to think about each passage and prayerfully ask the Lord to
speak. And this is what makes the Word come alive. But it’s not
wants to do and give to His bly adds a new dimension to your spiritual growth
as you witness and stand
amazed at the work of God through ministry. It’s such
an integral part of the Chris-
tian life. And out of all the ministries, the Word for To-
day’s holds a special place
in my heart simply because it involves the Word of God directly.
always easy. It’s still a learning process for me to convey His
So I’m thankful to the Lord
Today’s, (ones that I cringe over whenever I read them again),
is best to His children.
truth effectively. I have written some pretty terrible Word for
and yet by God’s grace, He has covered every mistake. He has
been gracious over every struggle and failure. And through this process I’ve come to know the amazing patience of our Father.
The funny thing is, I didn’t even want to join this ministry at
first. In fact, I’m ashamed and embarrassed to admit that all the ministries I’m involved in at the Rock were never out of
my own volition – someone always pushed me forward. How sad is that? Wotr, Broken Bread, Word for Today – I still have no idea why I was called into leadership and I recall resisting it
so much at first. But it only goes to show how ignorant I was.
who desires to give what
And that “best” can come
through sharing and pouring ourselves out in our ser-
vice to Him, no matter how small or how great. I consider it a privilege to be able to write and tell people about God through His Word.
He is still teaching me new things every week.
Because these ministries have each blessed me so richly and if
What riches and what pro-
out on some amazing things the Lord has done. I never would
this Book that our heavenly
I never got involved in anything, I would have sadly missed have gotten to know others on a personal level. My spiritual life
would have dried up as well. What I’ve learned about ministry is that it’s not so much about you trying to learn something.
found wisdom come from Father wrote for His children!
WOTR - Embrace Grace *
31
WOT R 2007
Embrace Grace
Women Of The Rock If you are interested in joining a women’s small group, or would like to be added to the Rock Church Word for Today email mailing list, please contact any one of us: Janette Lee janette.lee@rogers.com
Tammy Kim tammykim@rogers.com
Tina Kim tinachoe1031@gmail.com
WOTR Events Canlendar: http://ical.mac.com/tammy_kim/ WOTR
Rock Community Church: http://www.rockcommunity.org
Blogspot: http://rockcommunitychurch. blogspot.com
God bless you - WOTR Rock Community Church Ministry