Jesus - The Word Of Life 2009 by Women Of The Rock

In the beginning was the word, and the word was with god, and the word was god. He was in the beginning with god. All things came into being through him, and apart from him nothing came into being that has come into being. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. There came a man sent from god, whose name was john. He came as a witness, to testify about the light, so that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but he came to testify about the light. There was the true light which, coming into the world, enlightens every man. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, and the world did not know him. He came to his own, and those who were his own did not receive him. But as many as received him, to them he gave the right to become children of god, even to those who believe in his name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of god. And the word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw his glory, glory as of the only begotten from the father, full of grace and truth. John testified about him and cried out, saying, “this was he of whom i said, ‘he who comes after me has a higher rank than i, for he existed before me.’” For of his fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the law was given through moses; grace and truth were realized through jesus christ. No one has seen god at any time; the only begotten god who is in the bosom of the father, he has explained him. This is the testimony of john, when the jews sent to him priests and levites from jerusalem to ask him, “who are you?” And he confessed and did not deny, but confessed, “i am not the christ.” They asked him, “what then? Are you elijah?” And he said, “i am not “ “are you the prophet?” And he answered, “no.” Then they said to him, “who are you, so that we may give an answer to those who sent us? What do you say about yourself?” He said, “i am a voice of one crying in the wilderness, ‘make straight the way of the lord,’ as isaiah the prophet said.” Now they had been sent from the pharisees. They asked him, and said to him, “why then are you baptizing, if you are not the christ, nor elijah, nor the prophet?” John answered them saying, “i baptize in water, but among you stands one whom you do not know. “It is he who comes after me, the thong of whose sandal i am not worthy to untie.” - John 1:1-27

Jesus

The Word of Life Women Of The Rock testimonies 2009

WOTR

womenoftherock.blogspot.com

from the editor...

preface My Dear Sisters,

I cannot express how much of a true blessing it has been to read through all of these testimonies and to hear how the Lord has breathed life into your spirits through His Word this year! Just as our Christmas theme this year states, Jesus is the Word of life. He does not live in clouds of splendor far, far away, but He is alive in His Word, ready to fill us with Himself at any moment, at anytime. Jesus said to them,

“I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me shall not hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.” (John 6:35) As I read through each woman’s testimony, I realized that although we all come from different walks of life and have unique testimonies to share, we are all very much alike! I might paraphrase this entire booklet of testimonies like this, Life can be so disheartening when I try to live it on my own with all my insecurities, shortcomings, and failures...but God’s Word has given me hope and because of Him, I can rejoice! Praise the Lord! For it is true...apart from Him we can do nothing, but by His strength through the living power of His Word, we all have hope for today and tomorrow. My hope and prayer is, that as you read through all of these testimonies, your hearts will be filled full, knowing that our Lord is indeed present with us and in us. Every time we are tempted to look for other things in life to satisfy our inner hunger for fulfillment and satisfaction, we need not look further than His Word. Where else have you been looking? In your relationships? In your health? In your finances? It doesn’t matter who you are, what you’ve done, or how deep your feeling of emptiness inside. He has already given us the bread of life; He is the Bread of Life. Let us partake of Him now, and be filled to overflowing. By His Grace,

Jean Chang

Contents

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18.

Judy Kim Jen Kim Tammy Kim Tara Bak Tina Kim Janet Hsu Janette Lee Hannah Kim Sonia Sun-Yang Lee Tammy Kim Anita Ko Leslie Ng Cindy Kim Jeanne Kim Sandra Kwon Erin Leung Michelle To Jean Chang

Contributors...

passages

He restores my soul little steps

reason to smile hidden treasure

humility

full surrender

shocking truth

a working miracle heart strings

believe & receive

acceptance

a gifted heart

keeps me going

a joyful family

the Lord's supply

a sound mind strength

love one another

Psalm 23:1-4 Proverbs 6:10-11 Proverbs 31:25 Matthew 13:44 Mark 10:43-45 Luke 14:26 John 6:61 John 14:12 John 15:26 John 20:21-22 Romans 15:7 1 Corinthians 12:4-7 2 Corinthians 12:9 Philippians 4:4-7 Philippians 4:19 2 Timothy 1:7 1 Peter 4:11 1 John 3:23

p. 2-3 p. 4-5 p. 6-7 p. 8 p. 9-11 p. 12-14 p. 15 p. 16-17 p. 18-19 p. 20 p. 21 p. 22-23 p. 24-26 p. 27-29 p. 30 p. 31-32 p. 33 p. 34-35

WOTR 2009

John 1:1-3 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” “And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1:14

He restores my soul...

Psalm 23:1-4 The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me on the path of righteousness for His nameâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For you are with me; Your rod and your staff they comfort me...â&#x20AC;?

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he words of this Psalm were a true blessing to me this year. The mid-week preschoolers’ program at church (MOPS) had all the children memorize all of Psalm 23 and recite it in front of an audience. Claire and I practiced it every day for several weeks and inevitably, I committed it to memory myself. At first it just gave me so much joy to hear her little voice say the Psalm word by word with her animated expressions and actions. I enjoyed watching her enthusiastically recite the verses over and over, pretending she was on stage.

It wasn’t long, however, before the Lord began to make these words come to life in my own heart and minister to me when I needed it the most. During this time, I was in the first trimester of my current pregnancy. I had mixed emotions because I was so grateful to be pregnant but I couldn’t shake the fears I had about my health and that of my unborn child. During my first pregnancy I had developed a very rare and unexpected case of type 1 diabetes. This condition put me at a much higher risk of developing complications in my pregnancy that could affect the health of both the baby and me. How was I going to manage my health and would it be good enough to prevent the baby from developing the numerous defects a child could develop in circumstances like mine? I felt very panicky and nervous with the

heavy weight of responsibility on my shoulders. I allowed negative thoughts to plague my mind as I feared the worst. I viewed my future as dark, hopeless, unpredictable and out of control. Above all else, I felt so alone. With the diabetes and pregnancy taking its toll, I barely had energy to get through the days. I wondered how I was going to get through the pregnancy and how I would survive after the baby was born, trying to care for 2 young children with my husband working such long, unpredictable hours. Then one night as I was praying, the Lord brought Psalm 23 to my mind. As I recited each word in my mind, the Holy Spirit gave each word life and personal meaning to me. As I went through the entire Psalm, I claimed the words as God’s promise to me and I felt the words come to life and comfort me like nothing else could. “He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.”

with Claire turned out to be a far greater blessing to me than I expected. His words literally came to life and helped me to stay faithful to Him. Then again one day while on vacation a short time afterwards, I was looking out at the brilliant blue ocean, enjoying the calmness and beauty. Then suddenly the words, “He leads me beside still waters; He restores my soul” popped into my head. I reflected back on the past several months and I saw how He was so faithful to me and how He literally brought me beside quiet waters and truly restored my soul. It’s been more than half a year since I committed that Psalm to memory, and He continues to restore my soul. I’m so thankful for this opportunity to hide God’s Word in my heart. Although I still struggle with mixed emotions and know there will be more challenges ahead, I have these precious life-giving words to give me hope, comfort, and strength.

Day by day, little by little, as I meditated on those verses, the Lord opened my eyes to see all the ways that He was indeed my Shepherd, taking care of me. Memorizing those verses

“Surely, goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:6) My hope and prayer is that my experience will encourage all of us to memorize scripture and hide God’s Word in our hearts. His Word is truly living and active and will breathe life into your spirit and your soul. V

- Judy Kim

JESUS - The Word Of Life

little steps

Proverbs 6:10-11

“A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest – Your poverty will come in like a vagabond and your need like an armed man.”

his year, the Lord has taken me on a journey where by trusting Him a little, I saw Him do a lot! The results have left me both humbled and exhilarated. Some time late last year, I remember sitting in on a women’s meeting where Pastor Sung was encouraging some of the WOTR leaders to be faithful in little ways everyday. He quoted this verse from Proverbs: “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest – Your poverty will come in like a vagabond and your need like an armed man.”- Proverbs 6:10-11 At first glance, one might see this as a negative word, perhaps even a warning to watch out for the dire consequences of being lazy. It was actually a verse that I remember posting beside my bed in university to scare me into waking up in the morning. But on that particular day, Pastor Sung was actually challenging us to see the positive implications of the verse.

Just as a “little” laziness leads to poverty, so too does a “little” faithfulness yield much fruit for the kingdom. He reminded us that every day is just a series of “little” moments and “little” choices. I made up my mind to do a “little” every day for my ministry. Every day, whether it was praying over something, researching

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an idea, sending out an email, calling someone or writing a list of ideas in my notebook, I made a point of doing a “little.” It became a subconscious mantra of sorts – what little thing can I do today? I have a minute right now…what is it you want me to do Lord? Our first ever March Break Camp, or “March in Motion” was a result of “little” steps. The first step was attending midweek Bible study. My boys were one and three, which meant that in order to attend the study, I had to make sure they took a late nap and that I packed their dinner to feed them in the church nursery during the study. It took a little planning but it was worth it. Pastor Sung did a series on Law and Grace, in which he explained that one cannot accept grace until one has first been broken by the Law. The Lord

spoke to me during that study, telling me that the children needed to learn the law, from whence came our theme for the March Break camp: the Ten Commandments. When it came to planning the camp, all I could do was a “little” everyday. On one day, I researched games, on another it was a big search for craft ideas, then I called an artist for advice about creating something, I asked some gifted ladies to come over to help me figure out how to create different activities, I ordered some resources online, and each day it was one or two “little” things. Whatever I couldn’t plan I left in God’s hands. The result is that God figured out the details by bringing just the right people to help with all the details from crafts and games, visual aids and food preparation and even awesome Tshirt designs. My “little” had turned out to be His lots! His Spirit weaved

all the details together. Praise God!

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil…” - Psalm 23:4 In April, we decided to put together a public speaking class for our preschoolers and homeschooled children (MOPS). The children would memorize and present Psalm 23, while focusing on their posture, voice and enunciation. I taught the children the words to the Psalm at church, then worked on practicing the words with my boys at home. One day right after our second session, I came home from church and received a letter

from my school board. After my two years of maternity and parental leave, the time had come for me to sign the appropriate documents to indicate whether or not I was intending to return to work. At the time, my husband had just begun working again, after having been unemployed for five months and we had accrued a significant debt. Furthermore, my job as a high school French teacher was one that I truly enjoyed, not to mention that it came with very reasonable hours, a comfortable salary and healthy benefits. However, in my heart, I believed the Lord had given me a vision of starting a school at church when Josiah, my firstborn, became of school age. The time had come, as he would be starting kindergarten in September. What was I to do? While driving home from MOPS, I heard the Lord speak to me “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow

of DEATH…” In order to move ahead with plans for the school in September, I had to put to death my “Egypt” from the past. This meant I had to put my past career to death completely. That day, I went home and wrote my letter of resignation. Little did I realize what God would do next. I can honestly say that I’ve never had a more fulfilling and exciting teaching experience in my ten year teaching career than the one I am currently having as Kindergarten teacher at Rock Community Christian School. From the moment I killed Egypt, God provided the children, the curricula, the furniture, the staff, and all the details right down to the portable white board easel I found on craigslist the day before school started. What can I do but praise Him? Our summer sports camp, our Hallelujah festival, and even our current MOPS Christmas play, are all continuous testimonies of how God continues to provide in only the way He can, with the right people, resources, ideas and even weather!

I’ve learned this year that indeed a little step of faith goes a long way.

Like all of us, I certainly have my moments of doubt when I glimpse at the past and long for the comforts of Egypt…but then all I have to do is look at our class picture and those little smiles remind me of what He has done, is doing and will continue to do as long as I keep walking. Praise the Lord! Amen. V

- Jen Kim

JESUS - The Word Of Life

reason to smile

Proverbs 31:25 ...“And she smiles at the future.”

s I sit down to write this, I am overwhelmed again with chores and tasks to complete, and instead of preparing things for the future, as the “Proverbs 31 woman” would be doing, I’m playing catch up once again. The thing is, it’s a place that I feel I’ve been in a lot this year. It never used to be this way. There was a time when I felt confident, capable, and ready to take on any challenge that came my way. Motherhood, however, hasn’t paved such a confident, smooth path. Feelings of accomplishment have been replaced with feelings of fatigue, selfdoubt, and the incessant feeling that I’m always playing catch up. Just a couple of years ago I was contacted by someone from my grade school who facebooked me and was wondering if I ended up becoming something, I’m sure... I realized this through my own long explanation of how much I loved being a stay-athome mom. Thinking about it now, my response sounded more like a wellwritten defense on motherhood rather

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than a casual e-response. I had another friend contact me who I knew from Junior High. She actually kept some of my doodles and had me sign them. She told me they used to make her happy. But I know she made me sign them because she believed that they would actually be worth something one day. Again, I was sorry to disappoint. Don’t get me wrong; I love my children and I’m so grateful to be able to be home to raise them, but I miss that feeling of self-confidence and control that once characterized my life. Motherhood doesn’t quite offer that daily sense of accomplishment or a regular paycheque for that matter, so it’s hard to gauge your sense of worth or measure the contribution you’re making, I suppose. Then one day in July, while I was feeling tired, frustrated, and playing catch up once again, I sat down to read the Word for Today that Tina had written about the Proverbs 31 woman. As I read, the Lord spoke to me. I had read Proverbs 31 so many

times in the past and would marvel at how that woman not only “rises also while it is still night”, but that she would make her own clothes, invest, give to the poor, speak only kind words, and her family would bless her for it! Even though I should be aspiring to be more like her, the comparisons would only make it glaringly obvious how unlike her I was... which only made my choice of being a stay-at-home mom even more lack-lustre and depressing. But on that particular day, Tina had highlighted one part of that passage that I had not really noticed before. ..."and she smiles at the future.” What made this woman smile? If it was because she had her life all put together, then how could I smile along with her in light of all my own insufficiencies? But as I read on, I was comforted and encouraged that it was not this woman’s good works at all. Tina wrote,

“When you are secure in the knowledge that God has you and your loved ones in the palm

of His hand, you can smile at the future, rather than fret. Truly a blessed assurance this truth is.” (Word for Today, 07/14/09)

that things weren’t the same in our household, and that I had definitely changed since the days of my youth, but how?

This woman did not smile at the future because of how good and capable she was. No, she smiled because she knew and trusted in the One who would always take care of her and her family.

Turns out I was listening to a sermon by Chuck Swindoll while our family went on a road trip in August. The sermon was about never forgetting where you came from illustrated by this verse in Psalm 40:2: "He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm."

If I were to believe that my childrens’ futures rested in my hands, I would have reason to be concerned... but the Lord was showing me that I’m not as grown up as I thought as I was, and that I am still and will always be His child as well. Not only that, but the Lord spoke to me (as I could hear Pastor Sung’s voice ringing in my ears) through this passage in Acts 17:30: “Therefore having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all people everywhere should repent. I have to admit, that in my ignorance, I wasn’t sure what the Lord was telling me to repent of. I could tell

Just like the Psalmist wrote, we are all destined for despair and destruction due to our sin. Nevertheless, He saved me. He saved me!

I didn’t come from a place with potential and a bright future! He saved me from a life of destruction, separation, and ignorance of Him. My future is secure only by the blood of Jesus.

My children now have that same hope. I realize now that the Lord is shaping me into something. But He is changing me from the inside out; Amazingly, into the likeness of His perfect, holy Son. There have been many verses that have helped me or encouraged me this year, but this one from Proverbs is the one that has stuck in my head and has helped me get through my day to days. For tomorrow, I know I’ll still have mouths to feed, clothes to wash, toys to pick up, and my children will rise to say “I’m so hungry”. But just like Job was humbled greatly before the Lord, I can boldly say with a smile that

“as for me, I know that my redeemer lIves, and at the last he wIll take hIs stand on the earth.” - Job 19: 5 Now that’s something to smile about. V

- Tammy Kim

Jesus - the word of life

hidden treasure

Matthew 13:44 “Again the kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”

s I came across this verse, I noticed the extent of this man’s joy. So much joy over the treasure he had found that he went and sold everything to buy the field that the treasure was in. The image that I had of this man and his joy led me to question myself. I know that in general I have joy in my salvation and joy in what He’s done in my life and joy in listening to my children pray and tell me their little testimonies. But somehow, I was left wondering if it was possible to have an even greater joy than that which I have known. This man understood that the value of the treasure was worth far more than anything and everything he had. It made me wonder if I value the treasure more than anything I have –

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vacations, comfort, financial freedom. I realize now that my frustrations and disappointments in life came because the pursuit of my joy was misdirected. Really I was just aiming to please myself and living to satisfy my own goals. Thank God for His mercy on such a sinner. For so long I was looking for joy in my circumstances, when all the time His joy was waiting for me. I experience joy when I know I am following Him – in my important decisions, the times that I choose to deny myself, not following my feelings, but making faith choices in the little everyday things. that...

And what I have found is

...when I’m in His Word and keeping Jesus close, I do have joy because He is the treasure. All that I have is His – my time, my possessions, my family and even my dreams. My prayer is that I will give it to Him willingly for He is worth so much more than what I could ever hold on to. Lord, let me see You the way that this man saw You for You are the Treasure. May my heart always be willing to give up anything that I may follow You even when the cost is great. Help us all to pursue our joy that You may be glorified. V

- Tara Bak

“But it is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life a ransom for many.”

humility

Mark 10:43-45

few weeks ago, my husband Thomas approached me and said that he wanted to talk to me about something. We sat on the couch and he proceeded to tell me (with some apprehension in his voice fearing the wrath of a woman) that he felt some things were not getting done efficiently around the house and that there were things undone that should have been completed a while ago. That if I was to be a stay at home mom, I should see this role like I would a career – to put your best and whole heart into it as it’s a responsibility God has placed before me. My heart dropped. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. As I listened, instead of receiving what I heard with a humble, open heart, I found myself getting indignant and defensive. Doesn’t he see all that I do around here? I run circles keeping the house clean, the baby fed and cooking the best meals I can. And this is the thanks I get? In the time that followed, the conversation kept ringing in my head and I found myself getting more angry. He cares too much about efficiency and organization. None of the other husbands seem to be like this. Why does he have such high expectations, telling me how the house should be run? Talk about ungrateful. As I continued to feed my negative thoughts, my attitude started to go in a downward tailspin. I had been praying for the Lord to speak to me because lately I’ve had a hard time hearing Him. But I struggle with the Martha syndrome, rushing around, always being on the go that no wonder God had to use another person to speak, and the husband is always someone who gets your

JESUS - The Word Of Life

humility attention. But the message offended me and usually when an offensive message comes from your spouse, nothing can flare up your sinful nature more. I was still fuming a couple days later, but one morning while I was doing the dishes, the Lord prodded me about the conversation. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get it out of my mind and what was more, deep inside, I knew how wrong my attitude was. It came to a point where I swallowed my pride and allowed the Lord to penetrate my hardened heart. Lord, I’m sorry. I’m willing to listen. As God revealed the truth behind Thomas’ words, I realized that my husband was right all along. We had moved into a temporary house a couple months ago while we continued our house search and I began to notice that there were many things left undone that should have been taken care of ages ago. The basement that Thomas used as an office was a mess and the boxes that littered the area made it hard for him to work and find things. I was grocery shopping every day because I kept forgetting things and all that time spent at the store caused other things to be left

unfinished – like the laundry! He was running out of clean socks and shirts to wear to work. He comes home tired after a full day and it must be an unpleasant sight to see the messy areas and boxes left unpacked, not to mention no clothes for him to wear the next day. As the Lord opened my eyes to this, I was humbled. All the things I was doing that I thought was good enough wasn’t what Thomas was talking about. But it was me that it was good enough for and that was the problem.

It was then that Mark 10:43-45 came to me,

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servant’s heart. And what I realized through all this is that much of me lacks that kind of heart. A lot of what I do, there is a terribly evil part of me that expects thanks and gratitude for my work. If someone points out something that doesn’t sit well with me or hurts my pride I get upset. I was praying so much for God to speak and wondering why I wasn’t hearing Him, but most of the time, I’m running around with my mind cluttered with so many things that I don’t take the time to listen.

I totally underestimated how many leaves could fall from the giant maple tree in our front yard. I raked and raked, bagging and dumping the leaves and this took all afternoon. It was a difficult job, but as I came closer to finishing the task, I started to feel good about how much I accomplished. The sinful nature started to take over again, and I thought to myself, Wow, just wait ‘till Thomas comes home and sees all that I did. Any husband would be appreciative of a wife who would do all this for him. What a nice wife I am!

Filled with remorse, I went to Thomas and apologized for my behavior and asked him to do something for me. I shared that he was right, I do lack organization and planning and since he was gifted in those areas, I asked him to help me. We sat down together and he made some suggestions, lists, and numbering things from biggest priority to the last. It was such a blessed time learning from him in an area that was supposed to be my expertise and I realized that’s what it's all about. When you're willing to humble yourself and submit under someone you don’t always want to, the tides change and you become a cleansed vessel for the Holy Spirit to flow through.

As I took a bag of leaves to dump in the compost, the Lord spoke again and I suddenly realized that I was back where I started. What was I doing? Was that the reason why I decided to rake the leaves, to get something from my husband? Was that an attitude of a servant’s heart in a wife?

However, it wasn’t long before the Lord tested me again. I went for a run the other day and when I came home, I noticed the huge pile of leaves in the front yard that Thomas had been meaning to rake for days. On a whim, I decided to surprise him and rake them myself.

As the Lord spoke, He asked me some very tough questions that I had to think about honestly. If all you did were tasks that were completely menial, tedious and thankless, will you still be content? If nobody ever noticed anything you did, would you be okay with that? What matters more – the eyes of your husband, friends, family and the church, or the eyes of the Lord? As those questions came into my mind, I also remembered something Pastor Sung said once. That God looks for someone He can trust. To me, that meant that a true servant of God will do the small, insignificant things faithfully without expectations, no strings attached, and perfectly content to be unseen by

others but value highly what the Lord sees. As I pondered those questions, there was a sadness in me that I was still so far from where I should be. But a blessed hope in how patient God is in that...

...He works in us line by line and will continue to perfect us until the day of Jesus Christ. From there on, the verse in Mark 10:43-45 is a passage that I carry around, always remembering that the heart of a servant is willing to be last and happy to be placed under the radar as long as God’s glory is made known. As it states, Christ Himself came to serve with His life and He set the example for His followers. As I bagged the last of the leaves, it was then I also realized that my prayer for God to speak to me clearly had been answered. And amazingly enough, the two times He spoke weren’t during mountaintop moments or at the peak of a ministry. It was while I was doing completely menial, boring and mundane jobs, like the dishes and raking leaves. But how my perspective and view changed from those. Only the Lord can make an ordinary afternoon so profoundly blessed and life changing. May we all seek to have that servant’s heart He loves and cherishes and be the one whom He can trust. Amen. V

- Tina Kim JESUS - The Word Of Life

full surrender T

his past fall, the Lord used a very painful experience to reach out and touch me in a way that I never expected. At the beginning of September, I suddenly fell ill with excruciating abdominal pain and ended up in the hospital for twelve days. During that time, I went through a flood of emotions as the doctors could not immediately determine the cause of the pain and were not able to treat me right away. The pain was so severe that at one point I thought for sure they would tell me that I had ovarian cancer or some other terminal disease... either that, or I thought I might just die from the pain alone. In fact, even after my initial surgery, the pain did not go away. It was like nothing I had every experienced before...even more painful than childbirth! To make matters worse, I was unable to eat or drink anything for days, and with each passing day I felt weaker and weaker. Those days were the lowest that I have ever experienced in my life. I will never forget the night of Wednesday September 2nd. I was lying in the hospital bed weeping and praying desperately to the Lord for healing. Never before had I experienced such physical or emotional anguish as I considered seriously the possibility that I could be dying. I cried out to God to spare my life because I wasn’t ready to leave my family...my husband and my kids, Connor and Mia. How would they manage without me? Then one day after Connor saw me in the hospital looking very

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Luke 14:27 “Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” weak, hooked up to many different tubes, the gravity of my condition really hit him as he asked Albert what the worst case scenario would be. Albert told him simply to have faith in the Lord and that everything would be okay. Immediately, I could see Connor’s burden was lifted as he took his dad’s words to heart. He trusted that God knew what He was doing and that everything really would be okay.

Connor’s simple faith and trust in the Lord ministered to me. I learned from Connor’s example that I needed to take God at his Word and trust that the Lord knew best. I realized, looking at Connor, that I wasn’t fully trusting in the Lord. I became truly broken inside as I confessed my sin to the Lord and asked for His forgiveness for my fears and lack of trust. It took the most painful

of circumstances for the Lord to show me that I needed to apply what I had only believed about Him in theory up until this point in my life. As I continued to reflect on my experience and why the Lord had allowed this storm, God pointed out another obvious sin in my life. I had never completely submitted myself to Him by turning over every aspect of my life. Sure, it was easy to give some parts of myself over to the Lord, but there were other areas that I thought were mine to control. I wanted to follow and do my will instead of His, especially when it suited my desires. For example, I remember Pastor Sung often stating that all believers will experience difficulty and hardships in life. Knowing that one day I might have to experience some type of major trial, I tried to make a deal with God. I told Him that He could throw any storm my way, as long as He didn’t take Connor, Mia or Albert away from me. These conditions that I placed on God revealed my attitude of having things done on my own terms and showed me how little trust and faith I had in

God. How foolish I was to think that I could put conditions on God and to bargain with Him! I understand now that we can’t reason with the Lord because only He knows what is best for us and how best to bring Him glory. All we can do is trust Him to know what’s best and allow Him to work through us as we put our complete faith in Him, with no conditions whatsoever. When I realized I had been approaching God with all of these conditions, I needed

In the end, the Lord was merciful. I didn’t have cancer, but only some abscesses that the doctors were able to surgically remove and treat with the proper medication. Although it took several weeks, my body is healing, but more importantly, my spirit is healing as I reflect on all the blessings that have resulted from this experience that the Lord has brought us through.

experience that we began to really live out this truth in our own relationship. I always thought our marriage was okay the way it was, but this whole experience has brought Albert and I closer than we’ve ever been before. We cherish each other and make time for one another in a way that we didn’t before. There is a greater tenderness between us and our conversations revolve around more than just our everyday duties and things that need to get done. We are so much more aware of the fragility of life and not to take each other for granted. The time we spend together daily now is so precious and wonderful.

to repent and ask for forgiveness. I had to give up my pride, my lack of complete submission and commit to fully following Christ. I understand now that I cannot be a true follower of Christ unless I give myself completely over to Him.

For one thing, my relationship with my husband has really been strengthened through this whole ordeal. Although Albert and I have taught other couples (through our Marriage Builders class) that they can only get closer to each other by getting closer to God, it wasn’t until this

Also, both Albert and I have come to understand how crucial it is for us to maintain a close, intimate relationship with the Lord and we are more committed to spending time daily with the Lord in His Word. JESUS - The Word Of Life

full surrender In fact, we have both recently decided to study the book of John in our small groups so that we can go through the book together and share insights with one another as we lead our own groups. I’m finding now that after spending time in the Word, I have deeper insights and more to share than I ever have before. My spirit has become more sensitive to His leadings and I can hear Him speaking to the inner recesses of my heart. One thing that the Lord has been convicting me about recently is to be free from a critical spirit towards anyone. Life is so short, we must not waste our time tearing each other down, but rather building each other up and helping each other out. This greater intimacy that I now have with the Lord is priceless. Albert and I were just reflecting the other day on how grateful we are that the Lord allowed all of this to happen so that we could draw nearer to Him and appreciate His mercy and lovingkindness. In addition, my relationship with my children has also grown closer. When I drop them off at school now, they both hug me several times before leaving to go to class. Ever since I came home from the hospital, I noticed that Connor looks at me differently. He looks at me like he doesn’t want to take his eyes off of me. Both Connor and Mia now understand in a more real way, how precious and fleeting life is, and not to take each other for granted. We pray more as a family now, and I can sense that each one of us prays with a deeper and greater sincerity than before. Although it was a hard way to learn the lessons that I did, I am grateful that the Lord has taught me so lovingly and given me a second chance to get it right. Jesus said,

“Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” - Luke 14:27

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I know now that we each must be willing to carry our own cross, without conditions or reservations. I understand now, that unless we are willing to carry whatever cross the Lord has for us, we cannot be His disciples. I don’t know what the Lord has in store for me in the future. There are times that I may fail and be tempted to pull out my list of “conditions” again, but I know from this experience that the Lord loves me and will continue to do “whatever it takes” to teach me what it means to live fully surrendered to Him. Praise the Lord! V

- Janet Hsu

shocking truth

John 6:61 “…Does this offend you?”

fter a long stint in the Old Testament, I began studying the book of John. I’ve been a believer for years but the funny thing is I felt like I was reading it for the first time and do you know what stuck with me? That Jesus was confrontational… in fact Jesus was downright offensive. Jesus must have upset almost every social and religious convention in His time; from breaking bread with “sinners”, cleansing the Temple at Passover, “working” on the Sabbath, and taking water from a Samaritan... a woman nonetheless. I think my husband, John put it perfectly when he said that...

...even more shocking than what He did were the things Jesus said. And of all the things that He said, I think nothing was more shocking then when He said,

“Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For My flesh is food indeed, and My blood is drink indeed. He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him” - John 6:55-56

You may have read this passage before without thinking too much about it, but imagine you were one of the people who were present when Jesus actually spoke these words. Can you imagine what they were thinking? They were absolutely shocked. They must have thought, “This man is talking about cannibalism!” We know in fact that Jesus was not talking about cannibalism. He was referring to the sacrifice of his body that He was about to make on the cross. Eating His flesh and drinking His blood means believing in Him and receiving His sacrifice by faith. Even though we know this, most of the people present at the time Jesus made this statement did not understand what He meant..and Jesus never went out of his way to explain it to them. In fact, even Jesus’ own disciples did not understand what He meant. When His disciples questioned Him (actually the bible uses the word “complained” to Him), Jesus’ response was, “Does this offend you?” In fact, after Jesus said these words the bible records “From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more.” John 6:66 Does Jesus offend you? Does Jesus offend me? There are times when I find that what the Bible asks of me is more than I’m willing to give. These days when my rebellious streak

kicks in, a conversation I had with a friend comes to mind. This friend asked me recently how I could believe in a God that declares homosexuality a sin. Fresh from my study, I answered simply that the Bible is offensive. God is offensive. Jesus is offensive. The truth is until you come to the end of yourself – until you yourself become desperate and broken, you cannot accept the beliefs of another; be it a friend, a teacher or even Christ.

“For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” - 1 Cor 1:18

May we never be afraid to confront. May we never be afraid to offend. Praise God for allowing us to be counted among those “who are being saved.” Here’s to coming to the end of ourselves and being the fools of the world – followers of Jesus Christ. V

- Janette Lee

JESUS - The Word Of Life

a working miracle I

used to read this passage and wonder how I could possibly do these greater works. Jesus was promising His disciples that if they just believed, He would empower them to do not only the works that He did, but even greater works. He was right; the disciples did do greater works. Not in quality, but in numbers. God would use these disciples to convert thousands to Christ in a single day (like Peter after Pentecost) but Jesus, during his earthly ministry limited His converts to only a few. I could see how Jesus’ words were true for His disciples, but could this promise include me too? I always used to think that I couldn’t do anything significant for the Lord. In my mind, I thought,

If God wants to use me in any way, it’s going to take a miracle for Him to convert me into a “useful person” before I can do anything for Him. But I realized that God never works that way. God didn’t make David into a conquering hero before he went out to fight, but as he went out to fight. Crawford Lorrits couldn’t have said it better when he said, “God uses what He calls to - to make us what He wants us to be… The doing of the work is not the miracle; No, we become the miracle in the process of doing the work.” - Crawford Loritts

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John 14:12 “most assuredly, I say to you, he who belIeves In me, the works that I do he wIll do also; and greater works than these he wIll do, because I go to my father.” Ever since I heard this quote in a Sunday message earlier this summer, I have not been able to get it out of my mind. When you step out in faith and just do what you can, God makes you become the miracle in the process of doing the work. It is in the process, as you do your little bit every day. I saw this come true in my journey with the PB&J. PB&J stands for Praise Band for Jesus and it is the name of our Sunday School worship team. It all started just last year, when I volunteered to help lead worship for our summer soccer camp. Jen needed someone to help lead some songs for the camp, and I was available, though not talented or capable. It was God’s providence that I happened to have a fun DVD of kids’ worship songs that

my friend from Chicago had given me. I learned the songs on the DVD and taught them to the kids during the soccer camp. You must first understand my lack of qualifications as a worship leader. I am tone deaf, can’t read music, and have little to no experience with singing or leading worship in any form. Those who have sung and led worship with me know how I often hit the wrong key and have to keep practicing over and over again to hit the right note. It keeps me humble and totally dependent on God. It reminds me of my weakness and that I have to trust in God to fill in all the gaps and pretty much do a miracle of transforming my singing into praise and worship. I can’t believe it’s already been one year since I first started

PB&J. First it was the summer soccer camp, then leading worship for our children’s Hallelujah party last year, and shortly afterwards I took over the Sunday School worship. Just little by little, every day doing what I could and asking others to help, I saw God making and transforming me and our Sunday School worship into a miracle. Our Sunday School worship began with just one guitarist and me. Then it grew to include people to play piano, drums, bass and both adult and child singers. We started to become more technically advanced by replacing our transparencies and overhead projector with powerpoint and TV monitors. I recruited more people to help prepare and manage the powerpoint slides on Sundays. Each step of the way, I would ask different

people to help me and as they did, they later ended up joining and being part of the PB&J band. God was working and preparing way ahead of me. Soon we were even able to divide our worship team into two separate teams; one for the younger elementary students, led by Jeanne, and the other for the older kids in our new Junior High worship service, led by me. All of this did not happen overnight. It all came about in the process of doing the work. A year ago, I could never have imagined that our little Sunday School worship ministry would grow this big and be able to do as much as it has in just one year. Now I do believe that the works Jesus did, we can do also and greater works than these if we believe in Jesus and just trust in Him.

It does not take a miracle to be used by the Lord to accomplish His purposes. You just have to be willing and available. You don’t even have to be capable. God will make you the miracle in the process of doing the work. Let us not be afraid to do the work that is in front of us. If you see a need, regardless of your ability, be available and willing and say to Him, “Here I am, send me.” The best part is that every Sunday as I sing and lead worship, I see God’s hand moving and working right before my eyes (and especially my ears!) as He transforms our worship and our voices into something beyond ourselves. I can honestly say that I see a miracle every Sunday. And I see His word come true; greater works than these we will do if we believe in Jesus. God bless, V

- Hannah Kim Jesus - the word of life

heart strings

John 15:26 “But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me. And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning.”

would have to say that the Bible verse that influenced me the most this

year is John 15:26... When you read this verse you might think that Jesus was speaking only to His disciples because they were the ones that had been with Him from the beginning of His ministry. But through an unexpected encounter with the Lord recently, the Lord spoke to my heart, telling me,

“You too have been with Me from the beginning.” I know now like never before, that God is real; not only when He reveals Himself to me majestically on Sunday messages but also through ordinary moments like while doing the laundry. 18

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One night I was in the basement after everyone else had gone to bed, waiting for the last cycle to finish. I looked over at the corner of the laundry room and noticed an old guitar leaning against the wall, unused and forgotten. Feeling curious, I picked it up, sat down and tried to gather together pieces of my memory to see if I could remember how to play anything. The last time I had played the guitar was when I was nine years old and living in Spain. My father was a Commerce Ambassador for Korea so I lived my entire childhood traveling from one country to the next. During this particular season in my life I was living in Spain and attending a Catholic school there, even though my parents were not believers in Jesus. As I sat there and struggled to recount details of that time from my faded memory, a particular gospel song that I used to

sing at that Spanish school just popped in my head with the lyrics and all. I decided to give it my best shot and sat down to play the guitar and sing the song. When I was finished, I was stunned and felt as if time had stopped and I was being taken back to the past in a time machine. It felt so wonderful to reclaim a precious old picture of myself as a child that I thought was lost forever. But more importantly, as I sat there and repeated to myself over and over again the lyrics to the song that I had just sung, it dawned on me that those simple words that I had memorized as a child contained the truth about God’s love for me. Vamos, vamos, vamos, vamos al altar, al altar de Dios, (Let us go to the altar of God) Que tenemos nuestra alegria, alegria y juventud,

(In Christ we have joy and youth) Cristo, Cristo, Cristo, nos ofreceran, nos ofreceran, (Christ is going to offer us) Luz, verda, y vida con su palabra, (Light, truth, and life with His Word) Mensaje de amistad, (A message of fellowship with God.) I couldn’t believe those words had been sung by my mouth as a child all those ye a r s ago, even though I didn’t know the meaning nor give them any value at the time. The light bulb suddenly went on in my head as I realized, “Wow! I got it now God. You were reaching out to me even back then and You have been with me all along!” You see, when I became a believer in Jesus Christ three years ago, I imagined that God was in a far off place but by His grace I was able to find my way to Him and meet Him for the first time. But I was wrong. When I had this flashback, I finally realized that God has always been with me, has always been calling me to Himself, and has never, ever left me, even when I did not acknowledge Him. I WAS COMPLETELY SHOCKED. As the reality of God’s presence in my life, even since childhood, began to sink in, I just began to weep. I heard the Lord speaking to my heart saying, “I have always wanted you to know me, even since you were a child. I have always been with you, just as I am with you

now.” I was so humbled and grateful that He had been so incredibly faithful and patient until the day that I finally acknowledged Him as my Lord and my God. Like a patient farmer who planted a seed, He waited ever so patiently until the sprout finally began to grow. I am so humbled and amazed at this realization that God has always been with me. Now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that apart from anything that I have ever done or ever will do, He was, He is, and He will always be my Lord and my God. As I thought about the words to this precious song, I heard the Lord speak to my heart once again. “Luz, verda, y vida con su palabra...” (Light, truth, and life with His Word)

He said, “My Word is like a hidden treasure. The more willing you are to search for this treasure, the more of Myself I can reveal to you. Knowing Me, having fellowship with Me is the treasure!”

ministry. Every time I sit down to consider what the Lord is speaking to me through the Sunday message and my PBS, God’s Word comes to life in my soul and gives me light where there used to be only darkness. As I consider how the Lord has been with me from the beginning, and continues to walk with me, taking me through each new step, each new opportunity, and introducing Himself to me in newer and deeper ways every day, I am so humbled and grateful that He has called me to Himself and remained faithful to me, even when I was not faithful to Him. For my treasure, my Lord and my God, I now dedicate this song back to You, twenty-eight years since You first sang it to me. "Vamos, vamos vamos..." Amen and Praise the Lord! V

- Sonia Sun-Yang Lee

Praise God that after planting those words in my heart twentyeight years ago, I have finally come to understand both the meaning and the value of those blessed words. And now, this year, by His precious grace, He has given me the opportunity to meditate and reflect on His word more than ever as I have had the blessed opportunity of both leading a small group bible study, and preparing Sunday sermon reflections for the Korean Well-Driven Nails

Jesus - the word of life

believe& receive

John 20:21-22 “Peace be with you... Receive the Holy Spirit.”

here are those verses that get me through my day to days, and then there are those “mountain-toppers” that have the power to alter your relationship with the Lord forever. For me, this verse is one of them. This past summer during our all-day WOTR retreat, Jean Chang brought up this verse while sharing her personal bible study with the women present. For those that came, it was a very important lesson that I felt the Spirit wanted to convey to us women and that most of us could relate to...

In John 20:19, after Jesus ascends into Heaven, as Jean shared, and finds His disciples hiding “for fear of the Jews”, He doesn’t rebuke them or get angry with them by forcing on the plow. Instead, what He does first is offer them His peace, and then, just like He promised, He gives them His Spirit - the Holy Spirit. What a relief it must have been to know that the responsibility of making disciples was not entirely on their shoulders anymore (since Jesus was no longer with them) but the Spirit now abided in them - in us! ...”Receive the Holy Spirit.”

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This really spoke to me, because so often in ministry and in life, we tend to get caught up in all the things that we need to do for the Lord, that we find ourselves tired, burnt out, and discouraged. The problem is that we keep trying to give before we have received from Him. Goodness knows the Lord doesn’t need us to do anything for Him. But what He does want is for us is to believe and receive. Believe it or not, He wants a relationship with us. He wants to give us more than we could ever imagine. He wants to give us everlasting life, love, joy, and peace... And the only way He can accomplish that is if we believe it - by first receiving it through His living and active Word. It’s that simple. As women, and especially as moms, we have been programmed to constantly be doing and giving. At first glance there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with that; but when it comes to the Lord, there is something desperately wrong with it, if we are solely relying on ourselves and not on His Spirit. The Lord doesn’t ask us to believe in Him and get to work!

When we are receiving His Word and walking with the Lord, the “work” will be accomplished sometimes without us even knowing it; suddenly, you may realize that He has led you to the mountaintops or into the valleys, but it’s alright; Because His Word is in your heart, and your belief in that Word - in Him - has the power to sustain you and take over because you are filled with the peace of His Truth. Realizing this, I was led to repent from all my “work” and trust in the Giver, His Word, and His Spirit and will - not mine. “In repentance and rest you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength.” (Is 30:15) Is it not quietness and rest that our Spirit longs for? Whether on the mountain tops or in the valleys, may His Word grant you peace as it has mine. V

- Tammy Kim

Romans 15:7

acceptance

“accept one another, Just as chrIst accepted you.” W

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hen I was younger, long before I had any children, I would imagine what my future kids would be like. For the most part I envisioned a little girl who would be a carbon copy of myself. Soon after my daughter Olivia turned one, I started to look for characteristics and qualities in her personality that resembled my own. No matter how hard I tried, however, I found it very difficult to find any semblance in her to myself. Even still, I truly believed that I could make her into the little girl that I thought she should be, aka, the little girl that I once was. Wow, was I ever wrong, on every level! Olivia is now four years old and it is only recently that I have finally come to realize and accept that her personality is nothing like mine, nor will it ever be. I tend to be very practical, reserved, and easy-going. She on the other hand is sensitive, expressive, and wears her heart on her sleeve. When I viewed these differences as something negative, I was blinded to all the characteristics that make my daughter unique and special. Now that I have learned to love and embrace her unique personality traits, I am so much more aware of all of the positive aspects of these differences. For example, Olivia is amazingly imaginative, expressive, and dramatic. She puts her whole self into all that she does and really lives life passionately.

The ironic thing is that in spite of all my efforts to try and change her, God has used her to change me. Through His own example, He has taught me the power of acceptance, because “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

anyway. What a great comfort that is! In the same way, when I reflect on how my acceptance of my daughter has changed the way I view her and treat her, I understand how critical it is that we accept one another without conditions, and without our own expectations. By accepting my daughter for who she is, the Lord has opened up so many doors of opportunity for me that I could never have opened myself. Because of Olivia, I have learned to become more sensitive, and even to become more imaginative and dramatic. (?!?) I am so thankful that God opened my eyes and my heart so I could see and correct the error of my ways. Without acceptance, we cannot genuinely love one another. As we receive from the Lord His unconditional acceptance of us, may we accept one another in love, by faith. Praise the Lord for accepting us while we were yet sinners! V

- Anita Ko

Even though we are not carbon copies of Him, He still loves and accepts us

Jesus - the word of life

a gifted heart

1 Corinthians 12:4-7 “Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. There are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons. But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.” S

ince the beginning of this year, I’ve been preoccupied with trying to figure out what my God-given gifts are. I look around me at the people in my life and I perceive them as all being so much more capable than I am. My sisters, for example, can teach, cook, and run marathons with their children hanging off of them, all at the same time. One of my closest and dearest friends is so driven, intelligent, and passionate about her work in healthcare, that I swear she is on her way to becoming the head of the World Health Organization. There are so many other women I know who are greatly skilled in design, photography, singing, dancing…you get the picture. I’ve dabbled in all of these areas myself, never quite finding a niche and being able to claim any one of those things as “my gift”. Don’t get me wrong, I am good at some things. I have become a very good accountant over the years and I can do laundry really well...really, really well. But somehow I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted to be gifted in something more noteworthy, more awe-inspiring, more glamorous.

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Many months of praying and self-scrutinizing went by, and I became discouraged. I had been praying for so long for the Lord to reveal to me what my gifts are, but the answer wouldn’t come. Everyone’s got to be gifted at something (other than laundry), right? Then, just recently, my sister, Jen, asked me to help out with the puppet show for the Hallelujah party at our church. She explained that it was a really important piece of the festival because we would be using it to present the gospel message to the children. I took my puppet home and practiced my part every night, so as not to disappoint my sister or the children. It was so much harder than I ever expected. (You wouldn’t believe how much strength and coordination it takes to keep your hand moving to the words!) Even though my arms became jello from holding up my puppet for so long (I can feel the burn just thinking about it), I kept reminding myself that it was all for the kids to learn about Jesus, and I kept practicing until I felt like I had gotten my puppet’s part down perfectly. The show ended up being a hit - not only were the children mesmerized and giggling with delight, but all the parents were elated as well. I can’t tell you how blessed I felt in knowing that the kids loved the show we put on for them. My heart was so full of joy and thankfulness to the Lord, for using me to be a part of such a blessed event. My husband and I were completely exhausted afterwards, and when we went to bed that night, we were both so overwhelmed with gratitude towards the Lord for allowing us to be part of such a wonderful experience.

realized that...

God does gift each one of us with various different abilities, both big and small, and the value of these gifts is not measured by how well it makes us stand out next to our peers, but rather how successful it is at building up the body of Christ and bringing glory to the Lord. I don’t need to look for my gifts anymore. I know that they are already there, waiting to be used to prepare my husband a nutritious meal, make the bottom of his socks whiter than when he bought them, and telling kids about Jesus using puppets and music. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be part of the puppet show this year. It was your gift to me and one I will cherish for a very long time. V

- Leslie Ng

The Lord spoke to me that night, gently showing me that my value in life is not determined by “how gifted” I am in any given task. In fact, He showed me that it isn’t the gift itself that even matters at all. What He cares about is the heart, and who He cares about are His people. Performing in a children’s puppet show doesn’t seem nearly as grand as having an incredible singing voice or being able to paint a breathtaking piece of art, but when I witnessed the joy and happiness of the children and heard their giggles of delight, I knew in my heart that these were far more precious to the Lord than any sensational display of talent or skill. I also

JESUS - The Word Of Life

keeps me going

2 Corinthians 12:9 “And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you for power is perfected in weakness’. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”

had a plan....but God also had His plan. My plan was to prove to myself that I could run the full marathon before I turned 40. His plan was to show me that I can only do things through His grace, by His strength. It all started last August when I went for a run with my good friend, Janet. Up until this point, both of us had run several half-marathons, but neither one of us had ever attempted the full. With my 40th birthday just around the corner, I wanted to prove to myself that I could complete the full marathon. I’ve always been so intimidated by the distance of the full marathon, and to me, committing to running this race was an attempt to really push myself beyond what I thought I was capable of. When I mentioned the idea to Janet that day, to my surprise, she actually agreed to run it with me. “This is it!”, I thought.

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“If Janet has agreed to run with me, this must be a sign from God that He is in this and He will help me reach my goal. Great!”, I thought. He always provides for all my needs. Nevertheless, it didn’t take long for my “perfect plan” to fall apart. Very soon after Janet and I finished our first long run, she was admitted to the hospital. God had a different plan for her. Just when I thought I would have to give up my goal (because there was no way I believed I could run the full marathon alone), Hannah encouraged me to continue training and volunteered to train with me for my long runs. Jen and Jean also joined me on my long runs and then Jean volunteered to take Janet’s place and run the marathon with me. I thought to myself, “Okay, Lord. You’re providing me another way to run this race. I don’t know what to expect next, but I’ll just

go along for the ride.” Well, my “Plan B” didn’t last for long because very soon afterwards, Jean injured her foot. Now she was out. Two running partners, both out within the first couple weeks of committing to run this race. At this point, deep down inside, I think I knew that this was my battle, no one else’s. Even still, I wasn’t willing to face this mountain alone. Thankfully, I didn’t need to make this choice because Jen stepped in shortly afterwards and said that she would run the race with me. I was so relieved. I was sure to remind her that I would be heart-broken if she backed out on me too, because I was depending on her. She assured me she would be there, no matter what. As the day approached, I became very nervous. Would I actually be able to cross that finish line and run the full 42K? How long would it take me? Would I come hobbling across the finish line after 6 or 7 hours? I started doubting myself and wondering why I had made this commitment to run this race. Then one morning during my quiet time, I read these words in my devotional: “ The Lord only asks us to do the things we are perfectly fitted to do by His grace.” I pondered that thought and then came across this verse: ”And He said to me ‘My grace is sufficient for you for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most

gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” -2 Cor 12:9 I began clinging to this verse every time I went out for my daily run. As I meditated on the truth of these words, I would often finish my run in tears, overwhelmed by the presence of God within me. Somehow day after day, run after run, He was keeping me strong, and all I had to do was “go along for the ride.” Finally, the weekend of the run arrived. It was Friday, just two days before the race. I went downtown with the kids to pick up my race kit. We had a great time looking at all the running gear at the expo. My kids even became inspired to want to run the marathon someday. Just being there among all the other runners made me feel kind of excited and nervous at the same time. When I came home, I saw my answering machine light flickering. “Please, don’t let it be Jen” I thought. Well, it was Jen. When I called her back, she said “I have bad news.” Immediately, I knew. She had caught a terrible flu and would not be able to run with me. At this point it was clear to me that the Lord didn’t want me to depend on anyone but Him and Him alone. All this time I had been trying to recruit one running partner

after another but the Lord had His own plan. Even though I knew it was my battle, I really didn’t want to do it alone. What was I going to do? Now that Jen was out, who would carry my 5 power gels? Oh! I had just bought a running skirt at the Expo and it has 2 deep pockets! The Lord is good. Who would drive me downtown? Maybe Will could...but no, even Will got sick and wasn’t able to run anymore. Thank God for my husband, Jae and our good neighbour, Don. Don came over to our house at 6:30 am to stay with the kids so that my husband, Jae could drive me downtown. And then came the run... During the first 10K I felt great. I had my iPod loaded up with my favourite gospel music and I just praised God and ran... But when I arrived at the fork in the road where the full marathoners continue on and the half marathoners head towards the finish line, my thoughts turned to Janet’s words when she had called to wish me well on my run. She said, “Just trust the Lord. That’s what I have learned.” I had to yell out loud, “I TRUST YOU, LORD!” as I ran past the fork and continued on to unchartered territory. The longest I had ever run up until that point was 30K, and even that wasn’t easy for me to do. I was scared to find out how I would feel when I got to the last part of the race. Then

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keeps me going my iPod died at 27K. The Lord really didn’t want me to rely on anything!!!! Around 33K, I saw a man lying down on the sidewalk as paramedics came rushing towards him. “That could be me” I thought. Then I saw some people using their cell phones, asking their loved ones to pick them up because they would not be able to finish the race. As I ran past them, wishing I had the same option, I thought to myself, “Next time, run with a cell phone!” From 33K to 39K was truly difficult. I was so exhausted and in so much pain. Everything in me just wanted to quit. Then I heard Jen’s voice telling me, “You can’t stop now! You gotta keep going! You are stronger than you think!” Then I heard Janet’s voice again...”Trust in the Lord!” As I heard their voices ringing in my ears, I knew my sisters were praying for me. Even though the Lord did not allow them to be there physically,

He allowed them to be with me spiritually, every step of the way, encouraging me, pulling me along. They really did run with me...my sisters, my God.. everybody was there with me encouraging me and helping me to keep on going.

WOTR 2009

“Therefore encourage one another and build up one another.”

His own plan for me which is far better than anything I can plan for myself.

He also showed me - 1 Thessalonians 5:11 that we believers really need one another to build Up until this point, I hadn’t each other up and help us realized how much of a difference finish this race of encouraging words can make to a person. They helped me finish my race, life strong. and finish it strong! In spite of all my worries and fears that it would take me over 6 hours to finish, I made it across that line in 4 hours and 48 minutes. Praise the Lord! Looking back at this whole experience of running this marathon, I see how real the Lord is and I still can’t believe the journey that He took me on. I thank the Lord for making me so weak and slow so that only by His strength, was I able to complete this race. I can’t thank the Lord enough for my sisters who were there to encourage me and cheer me on in the Spirit. On that final day when our Lord returns, I want to be sitting right up at the front row, calling their names and cheering them on as they cross their own “finish lines”. I will say, “Yes, you can do it!” “You are stronger than you think!” “ Keep going!” “Can’t stop now!” These words still ring in my ears. Through this experience, the Lord has taught me that I can plan my own way as much as I want, but He has

What a difference an encouraging word makes! Now, with confidence I can say, “In His grace, I can do it all.” Praise the Lord. V

- Cindy Kim

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything in prayer & supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

a joyful family

Philippians 4:4-7 T

his passage of scripture really summarizes all that the Lord has been teaching me throughout the past year.

1. Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice!

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a joyful family

t has been almost a year now since my family and I joined the Rock Community Church. When we first came with the family to visit in February of 2009, the first thing my older daughter, Annette said was, “Mommy, can this be our home church?” My younger daughter, Rachel chimed in with her less-profound remark, “Mommy! they speak English here!” My daughters’ comments made me realize that perhaps we could connect here. And yes, we did connect - We became members just a few months later. I still wonder why it has taken us almost 7 years to come to the Rock. We actually visited the Rock for the first time 7 years ago when I was pregnant with my second daughter, Rachel. With my hormones all awry, I made all sorts of excuses why we should just go back to our old, comfortable church. I recently asked Pastor Sung if he thought it was God’s will that we took the round-about route or if it was our sheer stupidity. He said the latter. I chuckled. God has been so amazing in how He has worked in our lives. I guess 7 years is nothing to Him. We have learned enough in 7 months to make up for the 7 years that we lost. My husband, John, and I both have grown in the Word and in our family relationships. It’s deeper and more loving - the love that comes from Jesus, not from ourselves. I am astonished at how much God has transformed my husband’s view of life and his goals for himself and our family. I am so happy that my family is led by my man-of-

WOTR 2009

God husband.

Our household has become one that rejoices in the Lord and enjoys His fellowship daily. Now I realize how meaningless and pointless life is if we do not see Him in our midst and rejoice.

2. Gentleness I am also astonished at how I relate to my children. I wonder if they even notice the difference? But I notice the difference. I see them differently now. I used to be such a cranky mom, so burdened and bothered by all the trivial ups and downs of raising them. I would try to force myself to remember that they are jewels - gifts from God, but the way I spoke to them and treated them showed otherwise. Now, with the Holy Spirit moving in me, rather than me trying with my pitiful attempts to be a perfect mom, I really do see them as God’s precious children. I am not so easily irritated and I am joyful and thankful that I have been given the privilege of being their mom.

3. The Peace of God

The funny thing about coming to this church and

being in this new environment is that everything seems so natural. After the many years we spent hemming and hawing about making a move out of the comfort zone of our old church, I feel confident and secure that this move was God’s plan for us. I love the will of God. I love His plan for me, for us. I am overflowing with joy. He has given me peace. I never really thought of myself as an anxious person before, but looking back, perhaps I was. Our lives certainly weren’t characterized by the peace that we now enjoy in our spirits.

Both my husband and I are more consistently in God’s Word, meditating on His goodness and His ways. We’ve come to realize that having this truth in our minds and on our hearts makes for peace, real peace. V

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything in prayer & supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; & the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts & minds through Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 4:4-7

- Jeanne Kim

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the Lord’s supply

Philippians 4:19 “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

haven’t worked full time as a teacher since having my son, Matteo, in the spring of 2006. We’ve been fortunate enough for me to be able to work just part-time, mainly as a tutor for high school students, and spend most of my time and energy raising Matteo and his baby sister. The downside is, once the school year ends and my students write their final exams, I am out of work for the summer months and crossing my fingers that September will bring phone calls requesting me for math help! I am typically not a “worrier”. In general, I find it very easy for me to trust in the Lord that His will be done in most areas of my life. I understand and agree that worrying is senseless and completely counter-productive. Unfortunately, however, the one thing I do worry a lot about is money. This shameful habit surfaced after I stopped working full time and we purchased our first home in 2007. Due to the fact that our house is 90 years old, it is constantly in need of repairs, putting a very tight squeeze on our cash

WOTR 2009

flow, especially during those summer months when I am no longer working. This past summer, Matteo was encouraged in his Sunday School class to memorize Bible verses. I honestly doubted my son’s ability to memorize his Bible verses because his language development has been so slow. Surprisingly, he was able to learn all of them, and would randomly just blurt them out. There were a couple instances, while I was tidying up the kitchen or doing some household chores while worrying about the things that needed to be bought, or expenses to anticipate, when Matteo suddenly blurted out,

way beyond what I could ever imagine. He continues to bless us and teach us everyday. Although I am certainly not “worry-free”, when the anxieties begin creeping back, the Lord reminds me of Matteo’s Bible verse, gently encouraging me to trust in Him.

“Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have ordained strength...” - Psalm 8:2

Praise the Lord for “‘My God shall the power of His Word. supply all your He can make even a child, need’….Bible verse!” The truth of these words convicted me instantly, refocusing my thoughts and bringing me peace. When I look at the life the Lord has provided for me and my loved ones, I know that He really does provide our every need

my child, speak them out and bring forth life. Amazing! V - Sandra Kwon

2 Timothy 1:7

a sound mind

“He did not give me the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2009

has been another up and down year for me in parenting. Ever since my eldest son, Ethan, was born, he has had difficulty with understanding social boundaries and behaviours compared to other children his age. As a result, disciplining him has always been a particular challenge because I often feel that I’m not getting through to him and that he does not understand why he is in trouble. These parenting challenges have often left me feeling frustrated and helpless. Despite these challenges, the Lord in His grace, provides me with “boosters” from time to time to help keep me moving forward. One such booster was an incident that occurred this past summer. Ethan has always been very passionate and excited about sharing Bible stories with other children. One day this past summer, he was sitting in our neighbour’s front yard across the street reading his Bible to a little girl. And in another occasion, he came back home to grab his Bible so that he could share with another two neighbour girls who were actually teasing and laughing at him. These girls ended up inviting Ethan to

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a sound mind play with them in their backyard after he shared some stories with them. “Wow”, I thought as I saw my little son in action sharing God’s Word. As an adult, I have always found it very intimidating to share the Bible with people I don’t know very well. In fact, I find it difficult to share the Bible even with people I do know well, like my non-Christian family and friends.

But there he was, freely telling this little neighbour girl about Jesus, without reservation and without fear. I looked at him and thought of this verse that I came across during my daily devotions,

“He did not give me the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” - 2 Timothy 1:7

WOTR 2009

Ethan’s lack of fear really ministered to me that day, as I realized that like him, none of us should be fearful, especially when sharing the good news of Christ’s love with others. Another such incident occurred one day as I was “working” on the boys’ table manners at the dinner table. I guess I was “working” really hard at trying to get them to sit still because I didn’t even realize that my eyebrows had turned almost 90 degrees. All of a sudden, right in the middle of dinner, Ethan got up and started to give me a massage on my shoulder and back. This was totally unexpected and I let out an, “Ah~, feels so good.” The next words that came out from Ethan’s mouth totally caught me off guard. He looked at me with earnest eyes and asked, “Does this make you smile?” with hopefulness as if he had finally found a way to make me happy. At that moment, I realized how much I hadn’t been smiling at him and how desperate he was to see me smile! I was buried in a thick dark cloud of guilt and shame. All I could do was to give him a big hug and tell him that I loved him so much. As I take time to really consider my frustration and anger, I realize that Ethan isn’t the true cause, but rather a fear that I carry deep in

my heart that I might not raise him properly. I fear that people will judge me for his problems because he has been homeschooled and has not been “socialized” properly. I fear failing him as his mother and ruining his life, especially because he does require more special attention than the average child. I fear for his character development, spiritual growth, and whether or not others will understand him without judging him. I fear for his future relationships with his friends... or whether or not he will even have friends. And the list goes on. But as always, God speaks loud and clear through His Word, reminding me that He has not given me “the spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind.” Every time I am tempted to hold on to my deep-seated fears, the Lord reminds me through this verse that He has given me an “unlimited heart repair warranty”, so that anytime I find myself slipping back into my old, fearful ways, I can go to God for a “repair job” by simply confessing my sin, lifting up my boys in faith, and asking Him to give me His power, His love, and a sound mind. Thank God for His Word, that never fails to help us out of the messes that we can make of our lives (and hearts). V

- Erin Leung

1 Peter 4:11

strength

“Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever.”

f I were to choose one word to describe 2009, it would be: tired. I have been in a continual state of exhaustion, and it has been mostly my own fault. I have been foolish enough to let my 1 ½ yr-old son, Caleb control me! I waited until too late to sleep-train. It has come down to a tug-of-war of wills, and so far Caleb is the winner! He wakes up 3-4 times per night, and needs nursing to fall back asleep. As a result, I wake up each morning feeling like I haven’t gotten any sleep. My exhaustion has affected my attitude and my family in a very negative way. Oftentimes, I am mean to my husband, angry at my children, and go through each day with a sour face. Days turn into weeks, and sometimes into months, where I’m living in this dark cloud. I get overwhelmed by my list of responsibilities and use that as an excuse for not having the time to be in God’s Word. I’ve learned this year that deep down, exhaustion is not my real problem. I face this tug-of-war within myself, between doing what is easiest by following my flesh, and doing what is harder but living in a way that glorifies God. The Lord has been repeatedly trying to tell me that I don’t need to keep going on like this; that He is there waiting to help me. Starting from the WOTR retreat earlier this year, then through the few Sunday services that I’ve attended, and finally in my personal bible study,

...the message I continue to hear is that on my own, I will always fail. Instead, I need to seek the Lord and get my strength from Him. Only then will I find peace in my heart and joy in my home. So, after hearing this lesson so often this year, why do I still struggle? I guess so far, my flesh has been winning. For example, it is more convenient to my flesh to

nurse my son to sleep than to endure hours of screaming. I just have to keep reminding myself that on my own, my days will continue to be dark and exhausting. But if I turn to the Lord, seek His will, and be obedient, with His strength I will have a passion and purpose to my life that will glorify Him. I don’t have only one particular verse that has carried me through the past year, but one word that really convicted and encouraged me during my last week’s PBS that is sure to carry me through the coming

year is this one (1 Peter 4:11). That pretty well sums up what I know to be the Lord’s will for my life. To live a life in which all that I say and do is by His strength and not my own. Life is so much easier and better when I focus on the Lord, and make Him the reason for everything I do. Trying to live life in my own strength is way too exhausting! And yes, I’m going to wean and sleep train Caleb real soon. I mean it this time!!! V

- Michelle To JESUS - The Word Of Life

love one another

1 John 3:23 “And this is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, & love one another, just as He commanded us.” M

y husband says that I’m a busybody. He often tells me that I keep myself too busy and that I don’t know how to slow down and just relax. I usually respond by saying, “That’s not true. I know how to relax...I just don’t have time to right now!” I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s ever felt like this before. In fact, I am willing to bet that the majority of people, and especially us women are constantly living their lives in over-drive, barely having even a moment to think before moving on to the next activity. Why do we do this? Do we have a choice in the matter? Is this the Lord’s will for our lives? These are the questions I’ve been asking myself recently as I considered my life and why I do the things that I do. I’m sure most people would agree with me when I say that life is busy and our daily responsibilities can keep us on our toes all day long, but when I really stop to examine my heart, I recognize that there is something else there. I realize that a part of me keeps myself busy because I have an inner need to constantly be “doing” something. Somehow, subconsciously, I have bought the lie that my value is defined by my “productivity”. This is why I feel guilty if I have a late start to the day or I am unsuccessful at completing my daily “to do” list. The Lord convicted me, however, that life is not one big “to do list”. If that were the case, then Jesus would have applauded the Pharisees and teachers of the law for pouring over the Scriptures and diligently doing everything in their power to interpret, teach, memorize, and follow the letter of the law. But Jesus did not applaud them. He called them “a brood of vipers” and “tombs

WOTR 2009

with whitewashed walls”. He taught all the people that

“Unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and pharisees, you shall not enter the kingdom of God.” Deep down inside I have known for a long time that I was on the path of the scribes and pharisees because I would work diligently “for the Lord” in teaching Sunday school and serving in various ministries, but then I would come home and be so impatient and unkind to my own family. I would rationalize away these shortcomings, telling myself that “nobody is perfect” and “it’s always hardest to be nice to those closest to you” and just keep pressing on in my “work for the Lord.” The more guilty I felt, the more engrossed I would become in my “work”, perhaps subconsciously trying to appease my guilty conscience for the lack of love in my heart. Finally, this lifestyle of hypocrisy came all crashing down on me this past fall when I suddenly fell ill one Sunday afternoon, completely exhausted and run down from “stressing” over the work. I knew in my heart that the Lord was trying to tell me that things needed to change; that I needed to change, but I didn’t know how.

The following Sunday I came to church feeling defeated and miserable, wondering how I would ever be able to escape this vicious cycle of defeat, confession, defeat, and confession. The Lord provided the answer I was looking for in this one verse that pastor Sung highlighted during a Sunday message: “And this is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us.” -1 John 3:23 While it may appear at first that these are 2 separate things: believing in Jesus and loving one another, the Holy Spirit sees them as one and the same. In other words,

according to God, if you are not loving one another, you are not a believer in Jesus Christ. I left church that

day knowing the Lord had spoken to me. He was telling me that He didn’t want anything from me at all, except for me to love the people in my life. He was telling me that if I genuinely believe in His Son Jesus Christ, then I will believe in His ability to love others through me.

He was telling me that the power and source of all genuine love is not from me at all, but from the Lord Jesus...

according to the standards of the world, but to be the best lover possible of all the people the Lord has placed in my life.

Now when I begin my day, it isn’t about just “getting things done” anymore. Each day is an opportunity to “love one another”. With my children, our time together isn’t just about getting through our lessons and getting everybody fed and washed; it’s about how to show them how much God loves them. With my husband, it’s not about cooking the fanciest meals or having the house spotless for him to come home to; it’s about valuing what he values and trying to see life from his perspective, no matter how different it is from my own. This isn’t easy to do. Old habits die hard!... but at least now I understand that my true value is not in my “productivity”, but rather in how much I am allowing God to love the people in my life through me. I hope that like anything else in life, practice will make perfect. I am far from reaching my goal to be like Jesus..but at least God’s word has placed me on the right path! V

- Jean Chang

...and that the true purpose of my life is not be as “productive” as possible

JESUS - The Word Of Life

WOTR 2009 If you are interested in joining a womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s small group, please contact: Jean Chang jean@rockcommunity.org Rock Community Church: http://www.rockcommunity.org Rock Community Church Blog: http://www.rockcommunitychurch.blogspot.com Location: 249 Clarence Ave. Woodbridge,ON L4L 1L6 Sunday Service: Worship begins at 11:10 am in the main chapel Sunday school for kids of all ages Please join us for our Sunday Worship Services Lord bless

Jesus

The Word of Life Women Of The Rock testimonies http://womenoftherock.blogspot.com