HEALING FROM GRIEF

Four Ways to Find Peace

by Jasmin Jenkins

When I was 13, my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. At 15, I was at her graveside, navigating my first experience with the other side of love: loss. Ten years later, my beloved and only brother died tragically as a result of PTSD and untreated addiction. In a word: suicide. Where my mom’s death silenced me, my brother’s death pushed me into a deep pursuit of healing.

In the nine years since then, I have committed to discovering the light side of grief, to identifying and embracing the invitations that lay within its deep layers. What I’ve come to learn is that grieving is actually a renewal state—a cycle of releasing and reconnecting. The tears and sadness are, quite literally, just a more fluid connection to love. These are the four invitations I’ve found within the grief:

1The invitation to pause When someone we love dies, our whole world changes in an instant and forever. And with this disruption, there is an opportunity for sacred inquiry that arrives as we pause and honor the absence of our loved one: the impressions they made on our lives, what we will miss about them, how we will continue to celebrate their lives and what their story taught us.

2The invitation to connect with our breath

With the intensity of emotions surrounding loss, breath can serve as our anchor. Simply remembering to close our eyes and breathe allows us to stay grounded in our body, mind and spirit. In the TED talk “Breathe to Heal,” Max Strom explains how certain patterns of breathing can actually change how we feel.

kissedbythegods/Pexels.com 3 The invitation to feel Elizabeth Kübler–Ross taught us about the five stages of grief, but since everyone’s story and process is so unique, there is ultimately no linear order of the stages. If an emotion arises, allow for it. Feelings, after all, are just information about the state of our heart. The more we can give ourselves permission to be with where we are in our grief, the more at peace we will be in our process.

4The invitation to heal Healing is a verb requiring action and commitment. We have to allow for the pain to heal, also remembering that in doing so, we must keep our hearts open. We have to ask for help when healing, because most of us can’t heal in isolation. Therapists who specialize in grief, online grief courses, bodywork and support groups can help us move forward.

Zen Buddhism reminds us that the obstacle is the path. By exploring these invitations, we arrive at the truth that grief is actually a sacred pathway into a deeper connection within our hearts.

Jasmin Jenkins is a Los Angeles-based integrative grief guide and the founder of Fall Up, which supports people navigating the spectrum of grief. Learn more at WeFallUp.com.

Dwyer & Michael’s Launches Hudson Green Funeral Services

Dwyer & Michael’s Funeral Home, which serves Westchester, Rockland, Orange, Putnam and Dutchess Counties, along with the five boroughs of New York City and Long Island, has formed a sister company, Hudson Green Funeral Services, dedicated solely to offering eco-friendly funerals.

“From graveside ceremonies in a natural burial ground to cremation with biodegradable and living plant urn options, our team is fully versed on all the requirements of a green funeral,” says Manager Michael V. Carpinone.

A green funeral service minimizes negative environmental effects by forgoing formaldehyde-based embalming, skipping concrete vaults, rethinking burial containers and maintaining and protecting the natural habitat, Carpinone says.

“Choices can be made at each step of the death-care process to limit waste, reduce the carbon footprint and even nourish the local ecosystem,” he explains. “We’re here to guide you and continue to provide the highest standards and affordable services for our community and to the families that we serve.”

Dwyer & Michael’s Funeral Home has been in business since the 1940s and has been owned by Carpinone’s father since 2018. Both Carpinones are funeral directors licensed in New York State.

Location: Hudson Green Funeral Services, 90 N. Broadway, Tarrytown, NY. For more info, call 914.848.4140, email info@ hudsongreenfuneral.com or visit NewYorkGreenFunerals.com See ad on this page.