Lane County MOM | April / May 2021

real local moms

since 2005

Lane County | April / May 2021

COVER MOM

AGES & STAGES

HOME DECOR

CLAIRE SENDERLING

WHY DOES MY KID DO THAT?!

WHAT’S GOING BAH-BYE

LARGE PRIZE WALL FOR A JOB WELL DONE! • 15 years experience in

the dental field

• birth to 16 years old • accepting all insurances • offering sedation dentistry • awesome monthly

prize drawings

• all new state-of-the-art

dental equipment

• lobby treehouse

with slide

• coffee bar •

fun, fun, fun

Dr. Erin Estep

Treehouse Kids Dentist provides the highest quality pediatric dentistry in an incredibly warm, friendly, and fun environment. We are committed to giving you and your child the very best care in a welcoming and playful manner.

1611 J Street Springfield, OR • 541-515-6631 • office@treehousekidsdental.com 2 mommag.com

mommag.com 2

It’s what‘s

Why does my kid do that?!

20

Meet the MOM experts ... 4

inside that counts

Home Decor

Rice Rice Baby 28

26

They know what they’re

Cover MOM: Claire Senderling............10

What’s 2021 & what’s

talking about.

This mom gets real.

going bah-bye.

Because I said so............... 5

Why does my kid do that?!..................... 20

Rice rice baby ..................28

A message from MOM

Vacation MOM................... 6

Home decor .....................26

Ages & Stages

Get ready to travel!

1

More ways to love your MOM mommag.com

facebook.com/ lovemommag info@mommag.com We love hearing from you. Email us with feedback, story ideas or nominations.

Cover MOM

10

Photos by Fremouw Photography

CONGRATULATIONS to the Eugene Family YMCA, winner of the 2021 MOM Magazine Community Impact Award.

For more information about the Eugene Family YMCA, see their ad on page 31.

Advertise today Want to get the word out about your business?

Contact Linda Blair at linda@mommag.com mommag.com 3

meet the

experts

[They know what they’re talking about]

Vacation MOM

Beyond the Bin

Smile

with Sarah Grimm, waste reduction specialist, page 8

with Dr. Erin Estep, pediatric dentist, page 17

Say Cheese

Focus on MOM

with Dr. Brad Chvatal, orthodontist, page 18

with Dr. David Hackett, pediatric optometrist, page 24

with Donnita Bassinger, travel agent, page 6

“I had my patience tested… it was negative.

“

— Just about every mom

4 mommag.com

EDITOR'S NOTE

Because I said so!

Published by GO Creative, LLC 263 29th Avenue SW Albany, OR 97322 Editor-in-Chief Managing Director Audrey Meier DeKam audrey@mommag.com Mid-Valley & Lane County Business Development Manager Linda Blair linda@mommag.com 541-231-7250 Salem Advertising Representative Kim Leighty kim.leighty@mommag.com 503-510-9036 Designer Sean Carver

MOM Magazine is sustainably delivered throughout the community thanks to pedalersexpress.com MOM MagazineTM is produced by GO Creative, LLC. © 2021 All rights reserved. Any reproduction, in whole or part, without written permission of the publisher, is prohibited.

Information in the magazine is provided for general information purposes only with the understanding that none of the content constitutes professional advice.

Opinions expressed by the writers or advertisers are not necessarily the opinions of the magazine or the publisher. Inclusion in the magazine does not constitute endorsement of information, products or services.

NO FAMILY DINNERS FOR MOTHER’S DAY, PLEASE When my boys were ages 2 and 4, we nicknamed them Chaos and Destruction.

We were in a constant state of plucking them off of some high surface or rescuing the cat from their sticky-fingered clutches.

Along comes Mother’s Day, and some well-meaning but misled family member puts out the idea, “Let’s all go to a restaurant to celebrate!”

Oh lawd, I knew it would be a bad idea, but it’s family, and I have a fabulous mother-inlaw I adore, so of course I wanted to be part of any event that celebrates her. But my offspring? I did not relish bringing them to a real restaurant, aka the kind without ball pits. I tried — oh, how I tried — to find child care for that day. Fat chance when all the good ones were doing something already for their own moms. With dread I knew I would have to take the boys with us.

It turned out exactly as you expect it would: they ripped up sugar packets, used silverware and tables as xylophones and screeched their age-appropriate displeasure at being expected to sit in a chair and converse with others. My husband and I resorted to running around with them outside for the majority of the meal. I cannot remember what I ate, but I can tell you it was as cold as every other meal I’d had since delivering my firstborn.

At that very moment, I made a deal with myself: never again did I want to be taking care of children on Mother’s Day. I love my children fiercely and I would give my life up for theirs without hesitation. I just needed to get away from them for one day of the year, with no cooking, no breaking up squabbles, no noise.

And I found my holy land: it’s called Edgefield, located in Troutdale. Every May (minus the recent Covid ones) my two sisters fly into PDX and we spend a divine weekend having food and drinks served to us. There is a pool with a bar. There are massage services. There is artwork we all adore. It is booked at least a year in advance, and it’s glorious for Mother’s Day. My husband handles the kids while I’m gone, which I appreciate more than any flowers or jewelry.

Every now and again, I’ll see another mom while I’m at Edgefield, her hands flying around the table to keep the malt vinegar from being smashed to the ground by her young child. She’s either a newbie mom or one who couldn’t find childcare. She appears stuck in a hell loop. Silently, I send her strength through the slightest tip of my margarita glass. To next year, darling.

Audrey Meier DeKam Editor-in-Chief

mommag.com 5

Family Adventures in the Hawaiian Islands One of the best parts of traveling with your family is having adventures together.

BY DONNITA BASSINGER

F

OR THE LAST YEAR, many of us have been stuck at home and are now dreaming of traveling again. For families seeking new experiences, the Islands of Hawaii provide endless opportunities.

The state of Hawaii has been very cautious during the pandemic and required a quarantine or proof of a negative covid test for all arriving passengers. During the rest of 2021 and into 2022, the restrictions for travel to Hawaii should continue to ease, but be sure to check for the latest rules. Most attractions are open but some have reduced occupancy and may require advance reservations — check their websites before you visit.

Outfit yourselves for adventure Before you depart home, check with your hotel or condo to see if they have beach items available to borrow during your stay. Upon arrival in Hawaii, hit a store to get any remaining items such sunscreen, a Frisbee, soccer or football, bubbles, boogie boards, sand buckets and shovels along with lots of water bottles and snacks. Bring 6 mommag.com

or buy an insulated beach bag so you can fill it with frozen juice boxes and water bottles for your beach days. Everyone needs sport sandals (not just flip-flops) to wear in and out of the water.

Fun for free If you ask my kids what is their favorite thing to do in Hawaii, the list will include climbing and swinging from Banyan Trees. These giant trees grow all over Hawaii, sending out aerial roots from upper branches that kids can grab to swing like Tarzan. They are also great for climbing and taking some beautiful photos. Do respect any signs that may prohibit climbing and swinging.

There are over 100 public parks on the Hawaiian Islands, and the vast majority have free admission and some have a small parking charge. Just grab a map or an app, your beach stuff and take a drive in any direction. There are miles of hiking trails, waterfalls, mountains and of course, beaches! Do not leave anything visible in your car as thefts from vehicles can occur. Beach parks have picnic tables and restrooms.

Some of the more popular beach

are many different options, including a bike and zipline package, with prices ranging from $70 to $250 per person.

parks have lifeguards but you always have to be careful of waves and currents.

Bigger adventures Your family can try out new activities in Hawaii. The Kualoa Ranch covers 4000 acres on O’ahu and is the site of many movies and TV shows. At Kualoa you can zipline, take an ATV tour, an ocean voyage or ride horses. One of the best places for family fun is their Secret Island tour. They take you by catamaran to a secluded beach that features hammocks, volleyball, badminton, pingpong, kayaks, outrigger canoes, stand-up paddleboards and snorkel equipment. There are shaded picnic tables so you can

bring your own food and beverages, and spend three hours playing on their equipment and relaxing in the sun. The cost is $49 per adult and $37 per child for a super day at the beach.

On the island of Kaua’i you can ride inflatable rafts through the ditch and tunnel system of a former sugar plantation. This unique three -hour tour is $140 for adults and $80 for ages 5 - 11.

On Maui you can ride bikes down the Haleakala volcanic crater. Tours go up in the wee hours of the morning so you can watch the sunrise and then bike down 6,500 feet. You can also go up during the day then stay to watch the sunset. There

Hawai’i Island (formerly called the Big Island) is the home of Hawai’i Volcanoes National Park, where you can explore and learn about Kilauea, one of the world’s most active volcanoes. Admission is $30 per vehicle and you can hike and go through 500-year-old lava tubes.

Adventures in dining After all this fun in the sun, you have to feed your family.

Luckily there is a great alternative to the expensive hotel restaurants: food trucks are all over the islands, and many times there are two or more together so everyone can choose what they like to eat.

And for dessert, get the Hawaiian favorite: shave ice!

I hope this inspires you to make plans for a family vacation to remember. You can fly from Eugene Airport to Hawaii on Alaska Airlines, American Airlines, Delta Airlines and United Airlines. Contact a professional travel agent and say aloha to adventure!

STAY UP-TO-DATE WITH TRAVEL INFORMATION Hawaii COVID info Hawaiicovid19.com/travel Centers for Disease Control cdc.gov/travel Oregon Real ID Oregon.gov/realID Hawaii Parks HawaiiStateParks.org

Brought to you by:

MEET VACATION MOM

TM

Donnita Bassinger has been a travel agent for three decades, and Hawaii is a favorite destination for her family. She would love to help you plan a great vacation. Donnita lives in Eugene with her husband and three boys, is the owner of VIP Vacations and is an active volunteer with local organizations.

Contact Donnita at 541-913-5272 or on

@VacationMOMpage

mommag.com 7

GET YOUR GUIDE TO “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

— Margaret Mead

LIVING WASTEWISE IN LANE COUNTY Wouldn’t you just love to have answers at your fingertips?

You can! You’ll find answers to most, if not all, your questions about waste and recycling inside the Lane County WasteWise Guide. Perhaps you’ve wondered: • How do we dispose of old medications? Page 30 • Where can I get recycling bins for my school, business or apartment complex? Pages 11, 13 • Are coffee cups recyclable? Pages 19, 23

Brought to you by:

• Who makes the rules about garbage and recycling? Page 5

SARAH GRIMM

Sarah Grimm is the Waste Reduction Specialist for Lane County Public Works. She is an avid gardener, flyfisher and lover of the great outdoors.

You can pick up a copy of this handy reference at any Lane County transfer station, or at the Public Works customer service counter.

Or download an e-copy from: lanecountyor.gov/waste

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960 N 16TH STREET, STE 104 ● SPRINGFIELD 541.744.8660 MCKENZIEMIDWIVES.COM

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KANYA DELPOZZO, MSN, CNM, IBCLC EMILY DOWNING-MOORE, MSN, CNM ANNE ZIEMBA, MSN, CNM ANNIE SNYDER, DNP, CNM DANA CUMMINGS, MSN, CNM

[ Momism

#15: Go play outside!

]

Eugene Montessori School Educating for a better world since 1962.

A quality Montessori education for children 3 through kindergarten. The individualized curriculum includes music and P.E., snacks and a wholesome hot lunch.

Call for a tour!

Eugene Montessori School 2255 Oakmont Way 541.345.7124 eugenemontessorischool.com

Non-surgical scoliosis intervention Call us for a free phone consultation

scoliosis studio LL

ScoliosisStudioPT.com (503) 926-3338 Located in Corvallis

If you or your child has been diagnosed with scoliosis, there is help. Scoliosis Studio offers non-surgical, Schroth Method physical therapy to improve symmetry, posture and pain-relief.

The most important time for intervention — when scoliosis is shown to progress — is adolescence. We also help women during pregnancy and menopause, as well as men and women with age-related degeneration.

Bailey Denno, PT, DPT Doctor of Physical Therapy Schroth-BSPTS C2 Certified Scoliosis Practitioner

Scoliosis Studio is a direct pay PT clinic, we do not bill insurance.

I am a specialized physical therapist certified in and focused on the treatment of people of all ages with scoliosis, hyperkyphosis and hyperlordosis. I also treat people both before and after surgery.

mommag.com 9

CLAIRE SENDERLING

Profession: In-home care provider & real estate investor Children: Prince Sean Senderling, age 9 Community: Eugene

Photos by Fremouw Photography

Family comes first.

All families are unique. Tell us about yours.

My mom, my niece Andrea, my son Prince Sean and our dog Max are my family. I run a home care business as well as a real estate investing business. I run like a roller coaster most of the day, then take days off with my family during weekends as much as I can. We love to do outdoor activities mostly.

I had Sean at the age of 42. When he started school, I decided to be involved in real estate investing, as my home care business is fully established. I missed him so much that I needed to do something while he’s at school.

Every family has their own traditions. What are some of yours? I was raised believing in God and always believed in prayer.

My son and I pray before bed and before meals, and Sean has lead the prayer most of the time since he turned 3 years old. We also have different ways to show respect to our elderly by picking up the elderly person’s right hand and putting it on our forehead as a sign of respect.

I think it is now our tradition to celebrate Sean’s birthday in our house even though we go and celebrate birthdays in Disneyland or somewhere.

We always like to celebrate with friends and family in our home.

When did you know you wanted to be a mom? When I turned 40. I said, that’s it!

I have to have a child before it’s too late.

Do you think that parenting is easier or more challenging than when you were growing up? Way easier when I was growing up…no gadgets, no TV...we never talked back to our parents. We were not as savvy as these kids now. This generation is way more challenging. It’s very tricky: it’s a lot of experimenting with what works and what’s not working on disciplining your child.

Tell us about one of your proudest mom moments. I have a lot of proudest moments with Sean but, the one that hit me the most, which I will never forget, was the feeling the moment I walked into the church and my son was praying in front of the church congregation

during their communions. I was walking to my seat with tears flowing down my cheeks. I was so proud that I almost told everyone that that’s my son. Then he assisted serving everyone in their communion like a very responsible boy.

Now share one of your sweetest moments.

One day, I found a note on my mirror saying “I love you a 1,000,000 times.” He probably just started to learn numbers that high.

We’re all moms so we know that no one is perfect all of the time, or even some of the time. Tell us about your most recent “Mother of the Year” moment. You know, like forgetting to pick the kids up from school.

I did forget to pick my son up from school once, but the scariest thing that happened was when I was shopping with a friend at Valley River Mall. She had her daughter with her, who was about 8 years old at the time, and I had my son who was then about 3. We instructed them not to go anywhere as my friend and I were shopping. And then I heard my friend’s daughter running to us saying my son is missing! That’s the kind of moment when you feel like you want to rewind time. I regrouped and focused on finding my son. Not seeing him in the store, I ran towards the main door by the guard asking everyone if they had seen a young Asian boy. I was praying and running around inside the mall looking at everyone passing by. As I approached the main door by JC Penny, I saw a guard carrying a boy that looked like my son.

I ran to him and held my son so tight, promising myself that when we’re together to never lose sight of him from that moment ever again.

You know you’re a mom when you hear yourself say, “_________.” Because I’m your mom, silly!

No one works harder than mom.

We know that being a mom is a full-time job.

How do you balance (or not) motherhood, activities, work, volunteering, household responsibilities, and life in general? What sometimes falls through the cracks? I need to be 10 times what a person can be.

Actually, I’m pretty good at delegating tasks to the right people. I’m pretty much

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QA MOMs Love Local We love locally owned businesses, restaurants, places and organizations.

Share your favorite… …event in your community: Lane County Fair …view or scenic lookout: Spencer Butte …place for a lunch meeting: North Fork Public House …spot to get a good workout: Go bike riding with my son in my neighborhood …restaurant for kids: Viking Braggot Company Southtowne …meetup spot for happy hour: McMenamins North Bank …place where the kids can let off steam: South Jetty county parks in Florence ...lunch spot to meet friends and family: Ta Ra Rin Thai Cuisine

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involved in everything I do, but not a micromanager. I’m a doer and talk less; I prioritize, but my family is always my main priority. The good thing about being your own boss is you can run away from work whenever you need to be with family and friends.

I think the only thing I can’t do right now is to date, as I feel like I do not have time to be with someone right now. It is not easy to find a partner who will support all my activities and responsibilities.

I’ve also learned to move forward with everything instead of wasting my time stressing out on something that already happened.

Tell us about your work or volunteerism outside of the home. I have houses that I fix and flip, rentals and I own some land for development. I’m also involved in the Pilipino American Association and was elected vice chairman last year.

What have you learned professionally, that has helped you as a mom? Be a good communicator and good listener.

Effective communication is a must and goes a long way in dealing with people of all ages and in all relationships.

Tell us about a recent achievement you’re proud of, or a personal passion or talent.

Real estate investing is a fast-paced, crazy world. My first two years were like a roller coaster, and I got to the point that it was too much. I started having difficulty balancing my time, and dealing with friends and family is not easy when starting a new career. My finances began to suffer considerably. When that happened, I saw who my true friends are, and who will stay with you and help you emotionally and financially. I educated myself and promised myself that I will not ruin my reputation, and I will not miss any of my many financial obligations, no matter what. Then COVID-19 hit us, but that’s actually helped me survive financially as the real estate market sky-rocketed, and I was able to sell my three rentals which has given me financial freedom.

When was the last time you failed? What did you learn? The only true failure that I can say I’ve had is a complete family for my son, and to hold on to a relationship with my partner. I feel like I did not work hard to fulfill that dream. I learned that you have to work hard and fight for the right partner or relationship.

Do you have a goal you’d like to accomplish within the next five years? My goal for the next five years is to have a passive income

that’s enough for me to just focus on my son. And if I find the lucky man, I just want to be a housewife and a mom, while monitoring my finances.

If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy.

Tell us about your community/upbringing growing up. How did it shape the mother you are today? I was born and raised in the Philippines where your parents are your superior, you get spanked, pinched, you name it. There were 12 kids in my family, and there was little time to talk things out. Now that it’s my turn to raise my child, I promised myself that I will raise my son the best I can and give him all the love in the world that I can give.

What is special about where you grew up?

The simple life and the natural environment have started to fade away in my hometown. Back then, you had to work hard to get what you wanted or needed, but you learned to improvise to survive. We learned a lot of life lessons growing up.

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What do you think is the most important life skill or value your parents taught you? The most important value I learned from my parents was to believe in God, be prayerful, and always talk to God in any situation that is hard to handle.

When was the last time you did something for the first time? On Sean’s third birthday, we toured WaterWorld, Disneyland and Universal Studios. What an adventure!

What is something you will NEVER do again?

No regret, no surrender! When I was young, I swam in a fast-moving stream near the ocean at low tide without a life jacket just to show my friends I could do it.

Which good habit do you wish you started earlier? Be a better communicator and less shy about asking questions.

When did you realize you were no longer a child? Oh shoot! I’m actually back to being child! LOL. When I saw this little angel on my chest looking right at me, I knew right then I now have to be a strong woman.

What is one thing you never had that you want for your son? A strong, excellent education.

What are three words your best friend would use to describe you? My friend said: loyal, someone you can count on any time, and someone who will drop everything to help.

What are three words your kids would use to describe you? My batuti (a name I call my son) said I’m a cool mom, as well as a loving and caring mom who will do anything for her son.

What is the quality you like most about yourself? Forgiving and integrity are the most rewarding qualities I see about myself. Forgiving gives me peace. I walk to my enemy bravely offering peace. I’m always respectful, a good listener and most of all, honest.

If you could instantly have one new skill (i.e. foreign language, musical talent, eyes in the back of your head, etc.), what would it be?

Magic that I can turn a person into a better one so we only have love and peace in this world.

What’s in your mom-purse right now?

Chapstick, lotion, wallet, tape measure, bottle of water, snacks, pepper spray, scissors, utility knife, small tools.

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If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, in which event would you win a gold medal? Is multitasking an event?

Name one thing that is part of your daily routine that you just can’t live without. Coffee in the morning, kissing my son and telling him I love him.

Tell us something about you that would surprise others. I’m firm in everything I do, especially when I have to discipline my son and explain everything to him, including the consequences. But after that I turn into silly, cool mommy. My son loves it when I turn myself into Gollum from the Lord of the Rings and chase him. Being too stern or tough will not go anywhere with him, and plus it’s hard for me, too. Being silly at times is actually fun and it builds up your relationship with your child.

“

Being silly at times is actually fun and it builds up your relationship with your child.

”

'

MOM s Favorite... …words to live by: work hard, work smart, stay humble. …place to hide and find some peace & quiet: My rock house, aka “hobbit house” in Lorane. …binge-worthy TV: Ice Age with my son …way to get out of making dinner: Ordering pizza is the fav. …inspirational quote: Don’t be afraid to fail, be afraid not to try. …digital tool: Messenger app to connect with my family. …parenting tool: Parenting Now in Eugene

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It’s Saturday afternoon and you suddenly find yourself at home alone for a few hours (we know, it never happens). What do you do?

Turn on my favorite R-rated movie (the ones I can’t watch with my son), have a glass of red wine and dark chocolate.

What keeps you sane? My responsibilities as a mom, business owner and time with my friends.

What is the best way that you let off steam?

Go out with my friends without my child.

What’s your guilty pleasure? (dark chocolate hidden in the pantry, TJ Maxx, daily latte habit?)

Shopping online.

What is your greatest extravagance?

Sports cars. Antique and vintage stuff.

Who is your favorite real-life hero?

Veterans are my real-life heroes.

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Outside of your family members, who/what inspires you to be better? My “enemies” inspire me to do more and be a better person in that I hope they’ll look at me in a different way.

Listen to mom.

Is motherhood what you expected? What surprised you the most? Motherhood can change your heart and your whole being.

Who and what has influenced the mother you are today? I admire so many people, but who I admire the most is Lady Diana. She continued to be a great mom beyond her royalty or her personal life. She also set a great example for her children with her deep commitment to her charity work.

What advice would you give your younger mom self? What do you wish you knew then that you know now? Having a child changes your life.

This is not about you anymore; everything now is about your child. Don’t overreact to any situation. Analyze and assess.

What message would you like to share with other moms? Remember to tell it like it is.

I believe the most important part of being a good mom is focusing on your child and their needs, wants and desires. It’s not just about how you were brought up or what advice you might have gotten from a book. Be supportive, encourage and always communicate with your child. Ask for their opinion or what they think about a situation and respect their answer. Sometimes we think they are too young to understand, but most of the time they are not. It’s not about us anymore. Being a mom is about your child.

something to smile about

TM

But they’re just baby teeth...

A common question pediatric dentists get from parents: “Why do we have to treat baby teeth?

Aren’t they just going to fall out?”

Baby teeth are important to your child’s health and development. They help your child chew, speak and smile, and they are placeholders for permanent teeth. The enamel (outer covering) of baby teeth is very thin compared to adult teeth and a little cavity can quickly lead to a big problem. Untreated cavities often lead to abscessed teeth that require an antibiotic and sometimes hospitalization. By removing the cavity and restoring the tooth with dental materials, this can be prevented. Additionally, when a baby tooth is lost too early, the space for the permanent tooth underneath can get crowded out.

Other problems from untreated cavities range from issues with speech and self-confidence to lowered nutrition because it’s too painful to chew foods such as vegetables and meats.

Also, research shows that US children miss up to 51 million school hours a year due to dental pain and dental-related issues.

Yes, baby teeth will fall out, but it’s important to keep them healthy before that naturally happens. The best ways to prevent cavities and dental disease in your child are through good oral health care at home, including twice daily brushing and once daily flossing, as well as proper nutrition and seeing your dentist every six months.

Brought to you by: Dr. Erin Estep is a board-certified pediatric dentist who owns Treehouse Kids Dentist in Springfield. She and her staff are committed to making sure your child has an amazing, safe, memorable dental experience.

treehousekidsdental.com 1611 J street Springfield, OR 541-515-6631 office@treehousekidsdental.com

mommag.com 17

Say Cheese

™

The dog ate my retainer And other reasons we offer lifetime retainers We’ve heard it all when it comes to retainers breaking or going missing.

There’s the old “I left it on my lunch tray” mishap. The “I could have sworn I put it back in its case!” moment. And of course, the dogs who turn them into chew toys.

Brought to you by:

Our goal is to take away any worry for parents when it comes to retainers for their children or themselves. It’s important to keep wearing them: after you put in the effort with braces, you want to retain (hence the name, retainer) your progress. Teeth shift your whole life, so retainers are needed to keep them in place.

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With 3D scanning and printing, we are able to print models of your teeth and make in-house retainers which makes it more affordable.

With a simple scan, we have a digital record of your teeth forever. The program starts you off with two sets of clear retainers for a low initial fee and a small co-pay thereafter.

We also offer the lifetime retainer program to patients who have had treatment elsewhere. It’s good dental care for all, and peace of mind for patients.

This program makes it easier to keep loving your dog!

(541) 683-8490 • EugeneBraces.com 1400 Valley River Drive, 240, Eugene 1130 E. Main Street, Cottage Grove

[ Momism

#167: Please use your headphones!

INAVALE FARM SUMMER DAY CAMPS

]

Let Vacation MOM Plan Your Dream Vacation!

Family Vacations Romantic Getaways Cruises All Inclusive Resorts Disney Vacations

THREE-HOUR SESSIONS Monday - Friday, 9:00 - 12:00

Each rider is assigned their “own” horse for the week. There is plenty of time for grooming, demonstrations, tacking up, and of course riding.

Learn more about our programs and riding lessons, and download forms to get started at inavalefarm.com.

2021 DATES: July 12-16

August 9-13

July 26-30

August 23-27

INAVALE FARM 31786 Horse Farm Ln Philomath, Or 97370 (541) 929-5706 www.inavalefarm.com

Donnita Bassinger VIP Vacations, Inc. 541-913-5272 Facebook: Vacation MOM mommag.com 19

Ages & Stages

Why does my 4-year-old only poop in a pull-up?

Why does my teen sleep all day and stay up all night?

?

Why does my baby only want me? my s e o d Why ear-old 5-y ine? wh

Why doe s my t throw th oddler ings?

Why does my 14-year-old not answer my texts?

Why does my 9-year-old suddenly want to sleep in my b ed?

Why d oe year- s my 6old better behave f and te or sitters ach he doe ers than s for m e?

Why does my kid do that?!

Ages & Stages

20 mommag.com

!

Ages & Stages

Meet the experts

Caroline Fisher MD, PhD Child, adolescent and adult psychiatrist who works with the pediatrics team at The Corvallis Clinic

F

rom the colic to biting, then to back talking and secretkeeping, there isn’t a mom among us who hasn’t asked themselves, what the heck is going through my child’s mind sometimes?

Babies and young children have the struggle of language: namely, they have to use other ways to communicate with adults such as crying or flushing your favorite lipstick down the toilet. The range of emotion is there, which must be frustrating to not be able to verbalize it.

And whether you’re ready for them or not, the stages keep coming. Kids learn to use their words but it comes with some unsavory parts. You’ve likely been called a name or two, starting with poopy head and escalating from there.

Whitney Horsley, MD General pediatrician at Mid-Valley Children’s Clinic with Samaritan Health Services in Albany

Sheena Johnson Founder & owner of Eugene Nanny Services

Aoife Rose Magee, PhD Director of the Parenting Success Network through Linn-Benton Community College

Teens and tweens deserve a category unto themselves; apparently they enjoy arguing with their parents. It also seems to happen just when you settle in to watch Bridgerton on your tablet.

What are MOMs to do? We turn to the experts for advice.

Why does my baby only want me?

Why does my toddler throw things?

Toddlers tend to have big emotions — happy and giggly one moment, then angry and crying the next. They are exploring their independence but don’t yet know how to stay safe or know all the rules of our world. You can help them by setting clear limits and rules then teaching them and reminding them in a calm, firm voice: “We don’t throw things in the house.” Then redirect them to an activity they can do indoors or offer to take them outside to throw a ball. Then if the behavior happens again or continues, remind them of the rule and have a natural consequence. The child threw the book again — that book goes on top of the shelf and the child can’t read it for the next two days. The child threw the toy car again — that toy goes in the parents’ room for the next three days and the child doesn’t get to play with it. Time outs are okay as well when their emotions overwhelm the child; you may have to sit with them for the time out when they are younger. Lastly, the key is consistency: any time they throw something inside (if that’s your rule) then that object goes away and they are reminded not to throw. Every time.

— Whitney Horsley, MD

Why does my 4-year-old only poop in a pull-up?

After a few months of age, babies often show a preference for a primary caregiver.

This person is the one that they are forming a strong bond with and feel the most secure. The baby may become distressed by strangers and have a harder time interacting with less familiar people.

Allowing the baby to get acquainted slowly and from the safety of your arms can help them warm up to other people.

Completing toilet training can be a huge task and one that is important to get a child ready for entering school. Children are sometimes reluctant to poop on the toilet for a couple reasons. They could have some constipation — it’s very common and people can be constipated while still pooping every day. If your child’s poops are large or very small (like pebbles) or they have pain with pooping — talk to their health care provider about constipation. If you’re not concerned about constipation, then think about ways to help motivate your child to poop on the toilet instead.

— Aoife Rose Magee, PhD

continued on next page

mommag.com 21

Ages & Stages

They may just not want to take time away Why baby from playingdoes to go tomy the toilet.

Start by establishing a routine to have the child sit on only want me? the toilet after every meal. Reward this behavior with a sticker on a chart that you keep in the bathroom. First give the sticker for sitting on the toilet after a meal when you remind them, then later give the sticker for when they go to sit on the toilet without being reminded. They don’t have to poop when they sit on the toilet after meals but they should sit for at least 3 to 5 minutes to see if their body will allow them to poop. Try to avoid using screen time while on the toilet but reading a book or listening to music is okay.

Remember to praise the child if they tell you they need to poop before they do so in the pull up — you don’t have to make a huge deal but say something like “Thank you for telling me, that was very grown up of you.”

Why does my 6year-old behave better for sitters and teachers than he does for me?

— Whitney Horsley, MD

Why does my 5-year-old whine?

Children may become overwhelmed emotionally by situations and events.

Whining may happen if a child is beyond their emotional or physical coping limits, especially when they are hungry or tired.

Whining is a sure sign that the child is stressed and is in need of comfort from their caregiver. Taking time to offer positive attention and grabbing a snack may help the child feel better.

— Aoife Rose Magee, PhD

Kids feel safe with their parents and can show all their emotions. Nannies, like teachers, hold an authoritative role for which children want to please and/or behave. It’s a good thing that your child can regulate their feelings with others and yet show their true selves with you as their parents.

Why does my 9-yearold suddenly want to sleep in my bed?

— Sheena Johnson, Eugene Nanny Services There are a variety of reasons children want to sleep in their parents’ bed. A good place to start is to talk with the child and ask if they know why they’ve started wanting this. They may say something like nightmares, fear of the dark or monsters under their bed.

These are all normal childhood fears, and you can try to address them with things like a night light, checking the bed and closet at bedtime, or making “monster spray” (water and some essential oil that smells nice in a spray bottle) for them to spray around their room before bedtime. If they can’t tell you why, that’s okay too. You can try using a reward system: if they stay in their bed all night, they get a reward — a special mug of hot chocolate with a parent in the morning or a trip to their favorite park after school that day. This way it’s rewarding the good behavior. If they come into your bed at night you can move them back to their bed and just not have the reward in the morning. Lastly, if these don’t work and they seem scared or anxious when you are separated at other times (school, running errands, etc.) you can consider counseling for something called separation anxiety. You can ask their health care provider for a list of counselors or for other ideas.

— Whitney Horsley, MD

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Ages & Stages

Why does my 14-year-old not answer my texts?

Why does my 12-year-old say I hate you?

Kids say “I hate you,” but they actually still (and will always) love you. They say it when they are really, really angry, because they know it hurts. Right then, they hurt more than they can handle hurting. They just hate how angry they are, and if you were the person who made them that way, it comes out as “I hate you.” Don’t take it personally, just pretend that what they said was “I am really, really angry.” Then ask them what they are so angry about. Don’t assume you know: whatever just happened — you took their phone away, they can’t go to a party — is probably not actually the cause. Put on your listening ears and find out. Yes, it could be ridiculous, but maybe it’s not, and it’s certainly not to them. Then, when they know you truly understand and have stopped feeling so angry, tell them how much hearing “I hate you!” hurts your feelings.

— Caroline Fisher MD, PhD

Why does my teen sleep all day and stay up all night?

Circadian rhythm describes how your body regulates sleep time and awake time. While the rotation of the earth says a day is 24 hours long, the adolescent circadian rhythm is 24 and a half hours long: in short, teenagers are living a 24-and-a-half-hour day. So, every “earth” day, they want to go to bed half an hour later and also wake up a half hour later. School often provides a fixed wake up time which can help keep them on track, but in this time of quarantine, many kids have been able to shift their sleep habits to better fit their internal rhythm.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t necessarily match the internal rhythm of the rest of the family.

As we age, our circadian rhythm shortens, which is why you might find grandma in bed just after dinner.

— Caroline Fisher MD, PhD

Teens don’t answer texts when they are busy.

Lots of them complain that their parents text in the middle of the school day when they would get their phone taken away (and scolded by their parents) for texting in class.

There is more to a teen’s life than class, and your text may not be their highest priority when they are on the phone, playing video games, eating lunch, talking to their latest crush, exercising or trying to focus on something. Allow them that dignity unless it’s an actual emergency. Also, remember how many times you look at a text and decide that the situation you are dealing with is more important than answering right now, then forget to respond later when you have time. If you have a chronic non-answerer, they may not actually carry their phone with them or they may feel you are being intrusive.

Texting, by its very nature is intrusive: it’s kind of a “Drop everything and pay attention to me!” If you are using it as a way of remote nagging, being clingy, or using them to find out information you can easily look up yourself, you are telling them that their time and needs are not important. They will naturally let you know they disagree!

— Caroline Fisher MD, PhD

mommag.com 23

20/20 VISION DOESN’T TELL THE WHOLE STORY Many parents think their child’s vision is fine because the child was tested at school and brought home a report of 20/20 vision. This is only measuring eyesight or acuity, which is mostly how in-focus we see an object. But it only tells part of the story when it comes to successful functional vision.

Visual abilities are different

ADHD was found to be twice as prevalent among children having vision problems that glasses and contacts cannot correct.

Brought to you by: David A. Hackett, OD, FCOVD Lifetime Eye Care a division of Sterling Vision 4765 Village Plaza Loop Eugene, Oregon (541) 342-3100 or 866-4EYELUV sterlingvision.com

24 mommag.com

Efficient functional vision requires that we decide what to look at, move our eyes to it, get meaning from what is seen, and determine how to respond.

This needs to happen very quickly and repeatedly in learning environments.

We use our visual skills in everything from handwriting and spelling, to concentration and attention. These skills help us organize what we see on a printed page into letters, words and sentences, which are the foundation of reading, and reading is the gateway to learning.

It’s tough for parents and others to spot issues with visual abilities. And for a child who feels pressured to keep up with peers, they may

internalize the feelings of frustration which can make learning stressful.

Sometimes, troubles with visual skills occur alongside learning disabilities.

In fact, ADHD was found to be twice as prevalent among children having vision problems that glasses and contacts cannot correct.

There is hope! After careful visual evaluation, we provide customized vision therapy to help patients improve eye-brain communication.

For many children it makes all the difference in their ability to grow and learn, allowing their natural talents and gifts to shine.

Sources: American Optometric Association Optometrists Network DeCarlo, Dawn K et al. “ADHD and Vision Problems in the National Survey of Children’s Health.” Optometry and vision science: official publication of the American Academy of Optometry vol. 93,5 (2016): 459-65. doi:10.1097/OPX.0000000000000823

[ Momism

#14: Make good choices.

]

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mommag.com 25

HOME

DECOR WHAT’S 2021 & WHAT’S GOING BAH-BYE

N

OW DON’T COME AT US for simply reporting the trends. Time moves forward, and so does home decor. Apparently these three big trends have been played out: Credit: Lilse McKenna

SHIPLAP

BARN DOORS ANYWHERE EXCEPT A BARN

WHAT’S IN...

GRANNY CHIC AKA, GRANDMILLINEAL

GREIGE PAINT ON EVERYTHING

Holy Joanna Gaines, say it isn’t so...alas, it is. Shiplap has had a great run; we’ll catch up with it again in 2050. As for barn doors, we’re betting the practical use of their sliding mechanism will stick around in some shape or form. And no need to panic if you’ve gone too greige: bring in an accent wall color, or try one of these new on-trend items.

26 mommag.com

Credit: Sarah Dorio

What’s chintz and floral and slams the door on sleek modernism? It’s been dubbed “grandmillennial style,” and it’s growing in popularity. Think patterns, thrifted items, skirted chairs, tassels and trim.

Now you’re wishing you accepted your granny’s offer of that glass bowl collection. Even if it’s not for you, you can’t help but like a cheeky needlepoint, like this one from Etsy.

EARTHY VIBES Rattan, jute and wicker, oh my: from chairs to hanging light fixtures, these materials are widely available from retailers lately, like this light fixture from IKEA. Bring in plants at a level to rival a jungle and your earthy vibe will check.

Credit: Ikea.com

BIDETS ARE ALL THE RAGE Technically this isn’t decor, but we think it’s a trend you can get behind. A mom we know swears by an add-on version, like this one from Amazon. Saves TP and perhaps many postpartum Credit: Amazon squirt bottles.

PEEL AND STICK WALLPAPER, AND WE ARE HERE FOR IT. Wallpaper is difficult to put up (and sometimes to take it down, too). Peel and stick versions allow for easier installation, especially when it’s off just a smidge and you need to take it off and start over. Perfect for a nursery, so you can swap it out as your child grows.

THE 90S ARE BACKSTREET BACK Brass fixtures have already been on the scene. Now entering the AOL chat room: geometric prints. It’s on chairs, pillows and rugs. The really ambitious can try using paint and tape to trick out a wall.

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Ask us about our STEM Spanish & Garden Programs mommag.com 27

RICE Rice, rice babyRICE BABY E

aten around the globe, rice is a staple food that can go from dinner to breakfast, to dessert and nowadays even milk.

There’s lots to like about this low-cost fill-’er-upper.

Your mind may call up lush, verdant rice terraces of Asia when you think of rice farming, but it’s grown right here in the U.S., too, thriving in California, Louisiana, Texas and other states. According to the US Rice Council, American rice farmers produce 20 billion pounds of rice per year.

There are over 120,000 types of rice in the world, with the most common types you find on grocery store shelves being brown, white, jasmine and basmati. We’ll leave the finer points of rice types to the food scientists and rice connoisseurs.

Well that ’s wild Turns out that wild rice isn’t a grain like the others at all: it’s an aquatic grass.

28 mommag.com

The green stuff

If your kids whine about “green stuff on it” skip the green onions in exchange for peace and quiet.

KOREAN beef bowls

This easy, popular recipe has many variations, including swapping out the beef for ground turkey or upping the spice with cayenne.

Here’s a kid-friendly version:

INGREDIENTS

INSTRUCTIONS

¼ cup soy sauce ¼ cup packed brown sugar ¼ teaspoon ground ginger ¼ teaspoon black pepper

In a small mixing bowl, stir together the soy sauce, brown sugar, ginger, pepper and sesame oil. Set aside.

2 teaspoons sesame oil 1 pound lean ground beef 3 garlic cloves, chopped 2 and ½ cups cooked rice Optional: chopped green onions

Brown the ground beef with garlic in a skillet. After it is fully cooked, drain it, then stir in the soy sauce mixture. Remove from heat and serve over cooked rice. Sprinkle green onions over the top, unless your kids whine about “green stuff on it.” In that case, skip this part in exchange for peace and quiet.

Do you need a rice cooker?

It depends on how often you’ll use it. One mom we know swears by hers, which has earned a permanent place on her kitchen countertop.

Others may find that the one they put on their bridal registry years ago now lingers in that hard-toreach corner of a lower cabinet.

Instant Pots, which have grown in popularity for their prowess in speeding up dinner, can easily moonlight as a rice cooker. And there’s always a simple saucepanon-the-stove way. The trick is to adjust the heat so it doesn’t boil over and once that lid is on, do not take it off, no matter how tempting it is to do so.

mommag.com 29

Fat-free does not mean free-for-all Rice is fat-free, cholesterolfree and sugar-free so yee-haw, right? Not so fast. It’s a starch, so it’s high in carbs and low in fiber. Brown rice is a bit lower on the glycemic index than its white counterpart, and it does better in the fiber department.

A serving size of cooked rice for toddlers is about 2 – 5 tablespoons, give or take the child’s unique size. For most adults, one serving is a ½ cup, but we give ourselves a pass on that one-serving business for sushi night. Afterall, sushi chefs train for ten years, and many of those are spent mastering how to make the rice. So if another unagi roll is calling to you, go for it and consider it a way to honor the chef.

SIMPLE RICE & BEANS THAI PEANUT SAUCE over coconut-infused rice INSTRUCTIONS

½

cup peanut butter, unsweetened

2 2 1 1

tablespoons brown sugar

To make the sauce: whisk together all sauce ingredients except the warm water and salt. Add warm water a tablespoon at a time to get it to a consistency of your liking.

Add salt to taste.

½

cup of fresh-squeezed lime juice

tablespoon rice vinegar tablespoon grated ginger root

3 garlic gloves, pressed 2-4 tablespoons warm water Salt to taste FOR THE RICE:

10 ounce can of coconut milk 1 cup water 1 1

3 cups chicken broth

Bring the chicken broth to a boil and add rice. When the rice is tender and liquid is absorbed, add diced tomatoes. Set aside.

1 and 1/2 cups of rice 1 can diced tomatoes, drained drained and rinsed

1 teaspoon garlic salt Optional: shredded cheddar cheese, avocado slices

To make the rice: Cook the rice as directed, using the coconut milk and water as the liquid for boiling. Add a teaspoon of sugar and salt to your taste.

To serve, pour sauce over the cooked rice with some julienned carrots or peppers for color and crunch.

and ½ cups rice teaspoon sugar

Salt to taste

Sources: Infant & Toddler Forum, US Rice Council, Verywell Fit

30 mommag.com

INSTRUCTIONS

1 can of pre-cooked black beans,

FOR THE SAUCE:

tablespoons soy sauce

INGREDIENTS

It goes a long way

If you’re looking to extend a dish or lower your meat consumption, add cooked rice to taco meat, chili, meatloaf and other dishes.

Microwave the black beans for 1-2 minutes on high. Stir in garlic salt. Fold the black beans to the rice mixture.

Garnish with shredded cheddar cheese and avocado slices.

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