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ON-. 10. lHI
POLYTECH Nl C
INSTITU .
GOOD ROC IN' TONIGHT
At1d There Was For the Student A Weekend of Joy and Merriment
Ru ian Found Feeding City Hall Pigeons Rocketski Uses Dorm Leftover to Fallen Bird Tb~
rnited • Bird · 8Jnder... · and· • Peel..tr' ocicty of .\ merica recently reported In its monthly publicutiun. Tltr Unitrd-Bird-Band· crs·<llld·.Ytsl l'ultrrs Society of .lmrriru .\lmtlltl\', that the pigeon population in Central ~l assachu!.etts i<~ now the henhhit t t>igcon ~roup in the count ry. At this very momrnt , the Society's mem))ers are scauered throughout our county, peeking and notiog, not· inJC and peeking. Hut enough infor· mation bas already betn gathered t(~Re t her so that the more daring experts are willing, nt this time a nd for the first time, to state that the healthy pigeons are all fattening themselves on the City Hall Com· mon tranf(ely enough though, no mdication has ~n unearthtd, as yet, as to " hom the btnevolent bird re«~er is. At this point, this reporter took up the ~arch, and through incessant ptel..ing, has dL~overed that the un'ung hero b a quiet, unassuming Ru ian, R 1'. Rocketski. ~ J r. RockNski, a broom pu~<her nt n local educational center, in an exclusive interview, said : " l)al " He lurther stnted that, for years he h.1d ne,·er been able to observe lnrcb , because illl through the day he was pushing his broom, and the clouds or dust which he raised were too den.~ for his tired eyes to pene· tratt'. And, as the day drew to an end, and he put aside his broom, the birds hnd returned to LMir nests. But one ni~tht, )l r. Rocket'iki ob~1'\~ that the bird'i !locked to the brit~htly lighted Comnwn, and since that time, he bas !Jeen associating " ith hi first love. l~t. h night, unnot itetl, he loads hi~ ancient pu~hcarts with left-overs irum the dming hall and traip!>CS ,iff lu the Common, where he idles al\ay many an hour cooinl( at the pigeon<~, nfortunatcly however, he i~ able to say "coo" only in Russian, nnd the bird!l are hence unable to c•m\erH: \\llh him. But some day he may master the complexities of the f.nJth,h language. The moral: I r you e\'er want to I!Ct clo,.e to your pigeon, don't besi· tate to do a little cooing but oot in Rus.ian. ' :\~t
And 1\tusic CaMt ltH
Charm Over Him and H f' Became As U Alive o,
NEll.
lfLLIVAN
Onle upon a Lime, there wa. • very technical enginttring collct~e call~ \\'.P.I ., which ri~thtly mrant Worcellter Polytechnic lnstitutt. The students at W.r .I. were all v~ry con· scientio~ and Industrious, and they spent long hour-. slaving over bot slide rulr~. and they wort their tin~eer~> to the bone turnlnl( 1hrough the page of thc.> ir many Hlllle.s. And Lht'y wr re very learned ; for t hry " t , did not spenk in the common -· So il.t ll , • ., ,II elf. u... ~ oil h u e· Tht l\ ~ov ,et -tOnJ(uc!f, but spoke the very l!pcciul - - - - and very difficult languages of AIMe· bra, Geomet ry and Calculus. And llhey were very clever ; for tvery· Who is the man de:•ign. our pumps with jud~tment , skill and care? thing they uttertd was symbolic. Who is the man who builds 'em and who kctp them in repair? At the same Lime, there were many Who has to shut them down because thc.> valve•seat'l dist~ppcar? other collcges, IJul tht'SC:' other rol· The bearing-wearing. gearing-tenrin~ Mtchanicnl t::n~ineer. leges were interested only In the Arts, Philosophies and Languages or Who buys his juice for half a cent and wanu tel cha r~t,e a dime/ the World, and 50 their students \\'ho when we've signed n contract, can't deliver half the t imt? squandertd away their time with these \\'bo thinks a loss of twenty· ix per cent i'> nothing q ueer? dull and common amu~ mtnl s. The.~ The vult-inducing, load-reducing Electricnl l~ n~ineer. other school ~ looked down on the
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E ngtneer8
Who is it takes a transit out to lind n sewer Ill tnp? \\'h() then with care extreme locale!l the junction on the map? \\'ho is it goes to d ig it up and finds it nuwhtrt near ?
little engineering school nnd tht•y called her W.P.t., which did not mean Worcester l'olytechnlc I nstl tutt, but meant Woeful Polytrade 1'he mud be!;pattered, torn and tatterl'd Civil 'Engineer. Instead. Sometimes they ca lled her \\'ho lakes the pleru,ure out or life and makes exiqtence hell ? ju t Polly or Trade for short. All the year 'round these schools held Who'll f1re a real gooo lookln' one because she cannot spell ? Who substilules a dictaphone for tt cornl tlntc•d ear ? dances, parlieR, balls and banquets The penny chasing, dollar-wa!>tmg Efliclency l~nglneer. and lived a gay lire, while all the year 'round Polly patiently drudged away at learning all• the conlempo\\'ho thinks without his prod ucts we would 1111 IJc: In the lurch? \\'ho has a heathen idol he designate " re:.earch?" rary scirntific concepts before new \\'ho tints the creek~, perfumes the ajr and make the lan d~ape drear ? discoverit!f made them Invalid. T he stink-evolving, grn.<..,·dbsolving Chemical Engineer. Only twice 8 year "ere danl.es - - - - - - - - - held for Polly's students, and at
Handbook For Girl at Formals written by English Department
W.P.I. 's English department c;cortS JJ(ain l Professor E. J. ' l ~en bottle, caJ>.1bly aided and abetted by Pro· fe<~. or J H. Mac Frenzy, bas just ridden to the height'! of fame with th~ publicalion of a new handbook entitled, What Every Girl Shovld Know ;.I bout tire Forma/JI!tckcnd al ll'orcrstcr Pyrotrclmir Institution. For the sake or IJrcvity the title may be chrmged to Bebop. :\ week ago at a special interview exdush•e to Lhe TECH KEWS, Profes.~r 'Jggenbott.le released the fnl· lnwiog communique: " ~1 ac and me knuw dat Bebop is in. \\'e has It on the woid of some Tech one-armed bandits dal dose who know can't wait for the scoop. We've put out
ju t dat in Hcbop. And Ltll me mud· dcr 1 t.tz Hello." The uccurncy or Profes.wr 'lggen· bottle '~ predict ion IS amazing. Be· bnp ~a'l relea ed only yesterday a nd nlrtady hru attained national fame. In Worcester particularly, rioting ll('(Juer girls overturned four trucks and !marlHI downtown traffic Cor hours In the rush for copies. On n more intellectual level, here are ~vcrnl comments about B'bop heard on the Tech camp~ : German rrofe.~ SboeOy : "Achl " ~ rath l'rofe~ Ty KlobiJ: " Be· bop f11ils to ~parate its variables." E. E. Professor F. J ay: " Errrrrr l Ahbhhl" (Continued on Page 2, Col. 1)
these they bfhaved them!'elves quite
TOMMY REYNOLDS the other. .~ n1l wM.never people beard him play they e.~dalrned, " 'Tis better than MacNamara himself'' or " It surpas.ws Aleunder &I his best.'' In fact, such were the wondrou8 a biliUes of Tommy R.ey· nolds a nd his orc~tra that his name became as ma~ic to the ear. I\ow it also happened tbat thla famous orchestra had been periU&d· ed to play at one or Polly'a two yearly da nce~. When Polly's stu·
dents heard thi! they cried out for joy. And when they fi nally left their work behind and began the preparations f()r the dance, they felt as if they had been li'Uiformedwhich · hows that they atUI bad some - feeling, for indeed they had been transformed. Their acid-eaten and foundry-stained suits were now full dress evening clothes, their alide rules were beautHuJ corsqa, and their tabk-5 were little bookleta 61Jed wilb the names of lovely ladies with whom they would dance that evenlng. The dance wu
everything that
as becomes eriOUs young engineer· young hearts could desire. Owr aU
in~ studenUi. When they approachtd their young ladies, each IJo•e<l u low as his calculated center of gravlty wuuld permit. When th~y dancrd, each completely covered the tables in his right hand with n handkt r· chief and Mepped to the mu~ic as gracefully Ull the slide rule lllrnpJXd to his leg would permit fur .yuu must know t.hat no engineering stu· dent is ever without his slidc• rule and tAbles. Now It bapl)cned that thrre wns an orchestra in the land that bad no equal for s.moothne and aweetne)$ or style or for variety in song, and it was called Tommy Reynolds' Orchestra. Tommy and his mU!Iicians were in constant demand to perform at all the famous places of entertain· ment from one end or the country to
the ~aitty and gallantry, laupttr _.d sigh.~ or love, the music of Tommy Reynolds cast its charm. Nothing ccxlld have bet-n more pleasant or delightful, and happlneaa became more complete with each round or dandng. The affair wu the envy of all LM other schoola which bad scorned the little mil· neering college. But when lbe fi rst hour of morn· lng atruck, the band stopped playing and silence railed the haU. Without lhe magic music of Tommy Rey· nolds the enchantment ceased. Slow· ly, the 1pe1J wore olf, and lin&ly and in groups or students were t.ransformed back ; and by dawn each was once more an ambitioua young enginetr equipped foe a day'a work with slide rule and tables.