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Nonsem e Now and Then I s Appreciated by the Wisest of Men"
A POOR.
ALL THE
NEWS THAT PITS WE PR.INT
PAPER.
TECH NEWS
FOR
PEOPLB WHO THINlC.
" l\'ero1 /or the Screw1" VOLlll\1Es ONE,nFTU
I'UBLISIIEDt SEMIANNUALLY
'\l'ORST PLACE IMAG INABLE, FRIDAY, MAY S, 1950
TO ARMS! LIGHT DISPELS GLOOM
QUF.£N TO RULE OVER HEARTS OF $ , . -- ,. ROYAL COURT
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Knights of lhe Diamond Ancl Quc)en's Footlight ).,layers to Perform T his evening the Junior Class of \Vorctster Tech welcomes you to their Coronation Dall and earnestly wishes that you may thoroughly en· joy yourself i11 this delightful respite from the ol' Tecll routine. An en1Jre weekend has been reserved for your pleasure: so look to your lady fair, "on with the dunce, let joy be unronfmcd." Tonight we see the "Light," one l':noch by surname, who!!t! 90ft or· chestrntions have delighted devotees .. ~ -,.,., wllo ...ode. t1a ~- wu at Tavern on the Green, up in Cen· ~W•c 1\n , ,,. "*'tel '""" 1• tral Park . '!.'his evening will be cllnm.xctl at the Cinderella hour of midYe:., fame had come overnight for c;Cf.>rAe Unrna, student president or night by the selection of one of the thr lucky couple. There was noth· the Athletic Council, also believes sultry beauties in your very mid!lt in~ot left in life to be desired. Fmm that a d1angc from the present type as the Qut111n of Queens. Hers will atop their Mount Olympus lhe Rex llf athletic SliJll:lOrler at the College be a joyous reign over a joyous and Rcl(ina royally reigned over their would prove hent>fidaJ. "We must. now completely shaken with Enoch, J"lCOplc: homage and offerings will be Billy Ram's Date enchanted suhjrets. All was bl i~<S. l(lOk to the fu ture," Barna cxclnimccl, emotion, throbs into the microphone Laughter and merriment inter· "and tighten Ut> on existing condi· placed at her feet by IK-r worshipful To Rule Over Court "What's more, (or you two lucky minl(led with a generous por1ion of lions. 111erc must be no loose threads subjects. When she retires at the end OI Campus Lovelies people we have the following l(ifts, all roman('e pcrvnded the sc;ene. Yet, hnnJ(ing. I'm glad to hear that for o' her reign, she wUI not lose ber A rc)lJ of drums! A blare or trum· bought with surplus funds left over the Junior Ball had once more cns1 once Culvert is correct. T wttnt il rrown , for hers will be a. crown to be in the athletic Department. J>tls! its lipt'll. k11own I hnt T will stnrul behind him worn forever in the memories of all. Tht: judges have Onally reached a " (1) Through the Admiral's con· \\hen hC' asks for more support." Laying aside her sceptre and erdecision. An anticipatory silence stnl you wilt bavt' full use of his pri· Frank Sanclln, track mentor, wa.~ ~ud<.lcnly falls over the dancers. After vate 1926 Model A, with chauffeur mine for a. time, the Monarch will unnvailtlble for comment. all, the queen chosen tonight will go of course. throw out the first ball rut our Engi- Uconn. down in the archives or history. The " (2) Public Relations has ob· neers of the diamond face the MlTy crowd watches as Enoch alights to tained for you two tickets for a. com· Engineers from Cambridge, Saturday TOMORROW'S the singe and in a quivering voice, plete tour of the Becker campus. Adm. Cluv.-rius Outlinc!S afternoon. In the evening she will heavy wilh emotion, announces, "(3) A complete twenty·course ENGUSU QUIZ Need For Support in "Only after due deliberation and dinner with soft li~hts, smooth music, Ex1•anding T eeb Program First, we shall define some or the be entertained by the Queen's Footthorough study of the subjects bave and obsequious waiters at Jan's Sil· I n a sudden change of alhJetic terms used in examination instruc· light Players in their command perwe come to a decision. Miss Elsie ver Dollar Grille. formance of 'jSee How They Run." policy, College President Wat Tyler lions: Borden (36-24-34) is Queen of the " ( 4) A brand new unadulterated Cluverius announced today that 11 we c%ploin briefly: An abbreviation for Coronation Ball. Consequently, her volume of Duff and Masius complete are nnw gnin~ biS( time' "· IJecryin~ "explain briefly and yt)u'll gel escort, Mr. William Ram, boy stu· with a library or references. the lnck of athletic supporters on the a C." lo answering, be sure to dent, will be ldng." "(5) And last but certainly not campus, Cluroveru!l had this to say. include everything which the (.\ few polite cheers - after nil leaS! , a life's supply of the new silent " While attending the last hasketball reader might possibly consider breakfast food spelled G·R-A·S•S. Tl game, I nollced the condition of our everybody's date can't win.) relevant. h()'llr rxom: Three hours work to Ah yes, she is a vision or loveli· doesn't snap; it doesn't crackle ; it athletic supporters. They were not be done in one hour. ne:;s, a pearl of beauty, a gem or doe~n 't pop-it just lies there and giving the support that 1he team i~ used to. At one point when things evaluate: Give the instructor's pulchritude. But what's thjs? There sops up milk." looked low, I turned to my com· opinions on the subject. is some commotion in the audience. panion and asked him wby there wa.~ trace t"e e'IJolutiOtt of: Write n Can there be anyone so blind a.~ to FLASH! such a lack of support. His reply complete history. disagree with this choice? From over Scoop to was that the leam m•eded more brncdiscms: Tell everything you know. in a far corner, a dissenter is beard l. "The night was warm and mellow ing." to s:\y, "lt's not fair; she's a proTlae Tech New1! " I am firm in the conviction that The slars were mystically pro· fessional. She lost her amateur rat· Don Smith Productions, Inc., my companion was correct. There· found. ing last year when the Druggist of announ~ identity of winner fore, T decree that we wash out all Her dres' wn.'! silk and yeJlow America chose her as Miss Anti· of mystery contest to find Billy the old type of supporters and gel Except for the breeze, no sound." Ram, boy movie ~tar. RC!Iults histamine of 1949." Another crypti· Following this tribute by the Royal of nationwide talent search a new lot. a Jot that will hold up their Analyze the above verse, belng surt Players, the Queen will tour her kingcalJy remarks, "What's more I bet made public. own end or thing.s on the campuc;." to answer the following questions: she infiuenzed the judges." However, Hero: Bob Hnywnrd When asked to comment on the What is lhe poet trying to do? What dom, and visit the nine slate!\ comas it is impossible to give this girl the Heroine: Mary Givan Prcsidcnl's decree, basketball coach mood does he wisb to ca(lture? What prising her domain. Sunday her ofrold shoulder, decision remains valid. Watch for the shooting or Bob Charlie McNulty said, ''Ciutlerius is is the meaning of "mystically pro· ficial rule will end with impromptu The couple is ushered up to lhe and Mary before Prom klieg correct, all we need is a stronger type round?'' Why use silk instt>ad of picnics and parties to conclude a stage where they are adorned in lights I happy idyll. Onglay lvelay Regina! See ENCLISU QUIZ-P~e ,_r of supporter." robes or the finest ermine and velvet.
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ELSIE BORDEN CROWNED, WHAT AN UDDER QUEEN!
PREXY CITES NEED FOR NEW ,.f ECH SPIRI1,