1994 v22 i12

GAEA asks WPI to recycle for the environment

by Brian Parker Features Editor W P I’s GAEA (G lobal Awareness of Environm ental A ffairs) hosted a cam pus-w ide open m eeting last Thurs­ day afternoon, in Perrault H all. Pro­ fessor G ottlieb of the Philosophy De­ partm ent o p ened up w ith a short speech. “ I’m here today because there are too many things in life that you have to pass over that you d o n ’t want to. We often h ear about po o r air quality, extinction, deforestation and the easy availability o f disposable things. This all builds up until a cloud starts to build in o u r ow n hearts, we look to the future with sadness, rage and despair." H e pointed out that recently he read that w e're tw ice as likely to get cancer as our p arent's generation. "T his insanity o f what w e're doing leads us to want to do som ething.” N oting that the audience o f 75-100 students and faculty was there to “do som ething,” he turned the m eeting over to Bill Lindsey, project engineer for V eryfine, Inc. Lindsey said that Veryfine has been a leader o f the “ green bandw agon” since 1982. Believing that simplicity was the key to get a recycling program off the ground, V eryfine started by

teers. D epending upon its success, there is a possibility that work study money may go to the program .

GAEA hopes that the popular opin­ ion that WPI students d o n ’t care w on’t hold true in this case. T his program is very possible and to becom e a reality all it needs is support and volunteers.

A ccording to th eir ow n survey o f a selection o f W PI students and faculty m em bers, 55% o f those questioned w ould volunteer. 91.8% would take advantage o f such a program . The feeling is that m any m em bers o f the WPI com m unity w ould like to recy­ cle, but because there is no current program , little is done.

GAEA also w ants to m ake an effort now for the rest o f the term , use the paper recycling bins. A suggestion was made that students could set aside a box to throw their w aste paper in over the next few w eeks and on one day, “everyone could throw away their papers. E ffectively casting them as ballots show ing support for the recy­ cling program .” If this could be done, maybe Plant Services w ould see that we are serious about recycling at WPI. But more than a one-tim e effort is needed, and in order to be effective, everyone m ust participate as m uch as they are able to do so.

cided. A few changes, such as the ronm ental program com es in the area looking at what it’s wastes were and a d d itio n o f p a p e r-re c y c lin g b in s of chem ical use. “You often d o n ’t which would be the easiest to start around the m ailroom can be expected recycling. “ Y o u d o n ’t h av eto c o n q u er need as harsh a chem ical as you might by next fall. think at first glance.” T he com pany the (w hole problem ) at once, we start­ The green bins around campus for tries to find m ultiple uses for different ed with cardboard, glass, paper, and paper recycling were originally a stu ­ things, like com posting ap p le pomace m etals.” As a small to midsized corpo­ dent-run program, begun as an MQP. ration. he figured his com pany uses 1/ to use as fertilizers and heating buildAs Plant Services saw that it 2 ton paper per day (which is was an effective idea, they about equal to eight trees). began to support it and today O bviously a program at WPI According to / G A E A 's/ ow n survey o f a $200 - $300 are saved every w ould see a much larger selection o f WPI students a n d fa cu lty m em ­ month by not having to cart volum e o f paper. bers , 5 5 % o f those questioned would volunteer. the paper off cam pus. The Recycling w aste m ateri­ 91 ,S c/c would take advantage o f such a promain reason why this program als is only part o f V eryfine’s works is that the students vol­ solution. The com pany also untarily participate. This needs m akes a serious effort to to be stressed, because in o r­ buy from suppliers w ho sell der for recycling to be effective at p o st-co n su m er, recycled p ro d u cts. ings with warm air from its bottling W PI, it needs student support.

T hey sell products in alum inum cans process.

The proposed WPI program in ­ (it takes 95% less energy to recycle T he meeting then m oved to a pro­ volves the placem ent o f colored bins posal for a recycling program here on alum inum than it does to m ine and in every building for paper and c o n ­ cam pus. GAEA would like to see a process ore) and PET-pIastic bottles tainers (glass, plastic, and alum inum ). program sim ilar to one at C lark U ni­ as well as easily recycled clea r glass.

T h ese bins w ill be purchased by An exam ple of the savings his co m ­ versity, largely student-run with sup­ port by federal work study m oney and G A E A ’s budget and any student d o ­ pany sees per year com es from their nations. The plan calls for w eekly their plant services. receiving $48,000 for recycling wastes At W PI, setting up a program will pick-up and transfer to a sorting room in addition to $8,500 saved from not sending things to a landfill. He felt involve overcom ing a few obstacles, where it will also be stored until it can that WPI m ight also save m oney by such as Plapt Services not w anting to be hauled away at no (or at least re ­ not sending w astes to a landfill and put its support behind a program which duced) cost to W PI. If W PI does see that this savings could be used to help may not be successful. A nother pro b ­ a reduction in costs, G A EA hopes to lem is that the location o f a central see the school support its program , the school at large.

A nother facet o f V eryfine’s en v i­ sorting and storage area m ust be d e­ which will initially be run by volun­

The Student Newspaper of Worcester Polytechnic Institute

Tuesday, April 19,1994

7\PEAK

Volume Twenty‘two, Number Twelve

Jello speaks: Clinton, NAFTA, Family Values, and more

by Brian Parker Features Editor On Monday. April 1 Ith. the former lead singer o f the “ Dead K ennedys,” Jello Biafra came to W PI as part o f his “ Spoken W ord” Tour. In a perfor­ mance that lasted close to four hours, he read some of his works and told of his personal dealings with government and the law. He opened the night with a piece that was essentially an open letter to President Clinton. In it, he called for an end to the drug w ar, ex­ cessive defense spending and society turning its back on problems. “ Harm reduction” as it is called in E urope, is being used there in treating drug ad­ dicts and low ering crim e rates, while

Am erica has chosen to deal with drugs by building prisons and boot camps.

Biafra, brought to WPI in part by the S tudent’s Speakers Fund, stated that the U.S. should not encourage freetrade with countries like M exico (be­ cause o f it’s lax pollution policies and recent dealings with the Chiapas Rev­ olutionaries). Although some o f his statem ents, such as lowering the vot­ ing age to 5 to reduce youth apathy, w ere in jest, B iafra’s talk m ade good sense. He warned the audience o f a few hundred, that so-called “ experts” can be potentially dangerous. Som e­ tim es problem s are created to direct the public’s attention away from the real issues, such as associating rap music with causing crim e. Biafra stated that

crim e has always been a problem and that rap is just a way o f telling the world w hat’s happening.

In another o f his w orks, entitled “ Family V alues,” Biafra told the story of som eone hooked by a televangelist.

Finding “ faith"and sending away m on­ ey for brochures, this character learned that everything in society w as bad and should be banned, from books to music - even to various kinds o f people. He said that he wanted to give the audi­ ence some positive m essages, so he included these before interm ission: It is a positive thing to identify problems and try to find solutions. People should recycle and use existing technologies.

A parliamentary governm ent functions well because of its many parties and an

inherent need for com prom ise. There should be more of an emphasis on sensitivity, and caring; less so on pain.

Taxes are not a bad thing, if the money is spent wisely.

A fter a short interm ission, Jello Biafra came back to relate some infor­ m ation h e’d learned about the govern­ ment. Specifically, he stated that under the Clinton Adm inistration, the C IA ’s budget has gone up. A lm ost 50 new death sentence crimes will be created with the new crim e bill. Parents m ay be sentenced for crim es their children com m it. Clinton has lifted a ban on nuclear testing imposed by President Bush (coincidentally, the last earth­ quake in California, which occurred on a previously unknown fault, coincided

Volunteers needed for Alumni Weekend

by Lisa M. Hastings, Director o f Young Alum ni Programs Each year during the first w eekend

in June the cam pus is taken over by 1000 alum ni returning to W PI to cel­ ebrate class reunions. Ten reunion classes from the 10th to the 60th will

Lab Safety sessions offered One o f the federal regulations that WPI attem pts to com ply with is O SH A ’s Laboratory Standard (29 CDG 1910.1450). This standard has many com ponents, one o f which requires all em ployers to annually conduct inform ation and training sessions for all laboratory workers.

The following schedule has been established to accom plish this.

Session 1: W ednesday, A pril20th at 10:00 am in GH 227 Session 2: W ednesday, April 20th at 2:00 pm in SL 105 Session 3: T uesday, April 26th at 11:00 am in AK 233

Session 4: W ednesday. April 27th at 3:00 pm in WB 229 Session 5: Friday, April 29th at 10:00 am in G H 2 1 7 All laboratory workers (faculty, research assistants, graduate stu­ dents, undergraduate students, staff m em bers) that work in areas where hazardous m aterials arc used and/or stored must attend one o f these ses­ sions.

If you have any questions about this matter, I can be reached at: x5216.

David M essier, Environm ental Safety O fficer.

On the right track!

participate in the festivities, among them the annual g o lf to urnam ent, m usical perform ances, cam pus tours, the reunion parade, luncheon, class banquets, and hospitality suites.

The Alumni O ffice is seeking re­ sponsible, enthusiastic student volun­ teers to help with reunion. Reunion begins T hursday, June 2 (evening) and ends with brunch on Sunday, June 5. S tudents responsibilities include hosting reunion classes, setting up for ev en ts, registration, ush erin g , and h o stin g ca m p u s to u rs. T h e A lu m ­ ni O ffic e p ro v id es tra in in g , a c c o m ­ m o d a tio n s and m eals on cam p u s th ro u g h o u t the w e e k e n d and R e­ u n io n T -sh irts .

A n o p en R eu n io n In fo rm a tio n M eeting will take place on Tuesday, A pril 26th at 4:30 pm in Salisbury 104. Ask any student w ho has worked during Reunion W eekend in the past, and th ey ’ll tell you that it’s lots o f fun and that you meet great people. Join us on April 26 to find out more!

NF.WSPEAK STAFF PHOTO / JASON PHILBROOK

WPI runners Ted M anley, Class o f ’97, left, and C hris Pisz, C lass of 94, right, compete in the 200 meter in a meet yesterday afternoon against Trinity College. WPI won the m eet.

Table of Contents

Spring Week activities

c

with a nuclear blast test).

Biafra also asked where the ReaganBush scandals have all gone. The BCCI. Iran-Contra and S&L problems are al­ most never talked about. He wondered why a study o f the effects of N AFT A is considered a classified document. He went on to cite as a problem the fact that most of the media is run by a few corpo­ rations and said that artists are society’s last hope for finding the truth. But, even art is being restricted with warning la­ bels and bans. Biafra painted for his audience a bleak picture indeed. How­ ever, there still is some hope in the fact that there are people who are willing to speak out, like Jello Biafra and that there are audiences which are willing to listen to his side.

See page 5

News .................................................................................................. 2 Community Update ........................................................................ 2 Sports ................................................................................................ 3 Arts & Entertainment ................................................................... 4 Commentary ................................................................................... 6 Letters to the Editor ...................................................................... 6 Editorial........................................................................................... 7

Student Government Association .............................................. 7 Newspeak Entertainment ............................................................ 7 Club Corner .....................................................................................8 Greek Corner .................................................................................. 9 Reader's Poll ................................................................................. 10 Classifieds...................................................................................... 11 Police L o g ...................................................................................... 11

NEWSPEAK

Page 2

Tuesday April 19,1994

ANNOUNCEMENTS

SAS hosting Pie Eating Contest during Quadfest

by Lisa M. Hastings Director o f Young Alumni Programs In the wake of T raditions Day, the Student Alumni Society (SA S) received many inquir­ ies about the Pie Eating C ontest, held in prior years on Traditions Day. NOT T O W ORRY. THE PIE EATING C O N T EST W ILL TAKE PLA C E!!! Earlier in the year, the SAS decided to focus Traditions Day strictly on the histor­ ical traditions of W PI, including the freshmansophomore rivalry and the alm a mater. Be­ cause the Pie Eating C ontest had become so popular, they proposed moving it to Quadfest.

The Pie Eating Contest will take place at 3:00 pm on Quadfest, W ednesday, April 27th, 1994.

Information (including registration forms)

about the Pie Eating Contest w as distributed to all student activities and RA boxes last week.

C ontest winners will receive the W inner’s Trophy, Q uadfest T-shirts for the team and pizza for the entire organization (up to a m ax­ imum o f 75 people). Runners-up will receive the Runner Up Trophy and Q uadfest T-shirts for the team.

D on’t miss the opportunity to show your school spirit, pig out on free, delicious C H O C ­ O LA TE CREAM PIE and win prizes!!!

If yourorganization is interested in entering the contest, please detach the form below and send it to Box 2390. The deadline to sign up is April 22nd. Space is limited, so please return the entry form as soon as possible!

Pie Eating Contest Entry Form W ednesday, April 27, 1994 3:00 PM on the Q uad Name of organization/departm ent: N um ber of team s entering (circle one): I 2 3 Name of person to contact with confirm ation and details: Phone: Box Number:

Vet to speak on zoo experience

by Nicole Manjerovic, Class o f '97 H ave you ever thought about giving a gi­ raffe a physical or putting diapers on a baby chim panzee...or how about taking a lio n ’s tem ­ perature w ho isn’t going to like w here you have to stick the therm om eter? H ave you ever given any thought to being a veterinarian or becom ing involved in a related field such as anim al research? W ell, here is your chance to Find out w hat it is like! On M onday, A pril 25th

in SL123, a vet from R oger W illiams Zoo in Providence, RI will be here to speak. Dr. M ark Lloyd will enlighten all those w ho attend on a variety o f topics ranging from the specifics kinds o f w ork he does at the zoo, to the many varied aspects o f his line o f work in general.

He is excited to be speaking and it should be a very interesting event. Everyone is invited so bring your friends, and ask lots o f questions.

M aybe he can tell you w hat life is like in a zoo other than this one!

American Red Cross announces 1994 Aquatic School The A m erican Red Cross will offer a one week training school for anyone interested in a job as a lifeguard o r sw im m ing instructor.

This one w eek school, held from June 3-10 on C ape Cod, will offer the follow ing Red Cross courses: W aterSafety Instructor, Lifeguarding, Lifeguard Instructor T raining, C P R , First Aid and Small C raft C ourses, including Sailing Instructor.

Students will receive Red C ross training based on nationally developed curricula, using state o f the art course m aterials.

Pre-registration for Aquatic School is re ­ quired and early registration is recom m ended.

For more information on this exciting oppor­ tunity to train with the best, call the American Red C ross o f M assachusetts Bay at 1-800-5641234, extension 270, and ask for Michael.

Navy ROTC offers scholarships

PLEASE SEND T H E ENTRY FORM TO MARC LEFEBVRE ’96, WPI BOX 2390, BEFORE 4/22/94

Greater Worcester Jaycees holds meeting and elections The Greater W orcester Jaycees will hold a meeting on Thursday, April 21,1994 at 7:00 pm, at the Holiday Inn, 500 Lincoln Street, W orces­ ter. Elections will be held for the new Board of Directors.

The Greater Worcester Jaycees is the local chap­ ter of an international volunteer leadership training

organization for men and women between the ages of 21 and 39. The organization offers community, social, recreational, and educational activities. The Greater Worcester Jaycees' purpose is to promote development of leadership skills through communi­ ty service. Foradditionalinformation.call (508)8533525.

by Lt. Leo F. Taylor, USN The Navy ROTC has a limited num ber of Tw eeddale Scholarships for college students in technical majors. These scholarships may be offered to Freshmen, Sophom ores and Junior

and includes 8 0 % of W P I’s tuition, $100.00per month stipend, books, and uniforms. Scholar­ ship candidates must be majoring in Engineer­ ing, Physics, C hem istry, or Math, and be phys­ ically qualified. If you are interested, call 831 5865 or 793-2433.

English Conversation Partners needed W hat: The English Conversation Partners monthly meeting W hen: Thursday, April 28, 7:00-8:30 pm

In t e r n a t io n a l

Get involved with W orcester’s Multicultural community. If you like speaking with people from other countries, you should come to our meeting. Volunteers will learn about other cultures while helping people who have immigrated to the Worcester-area practice their English. At our meeting, you can find a partner to meet with for weekly conversations.

W here: Greendale Branch Library, 470 West Boylston Street, Worcester

J o b

C ost: Free For more information: Contact Ellen at 753-3271.

O p p o r tu n itie s COMMUNITY UPDATE

D a te : T h u r s d a y , A p r i l 21 a t 6 :3 0 p m

GAEA takes the first step

P la c e : K i n n i c u t t H a ll F a c ilit a t o r s : C D C , G lo b a l R e s o u r c e C e n te r C o n te n t: P r e p a r a t i o n a t W P I * Languages * R e s o u rc e s R e a l W o r ld I n f o r m a t i o n * P r e s e n t a t io n f r o m G e n e r a l E le c t r ic Q &? A P a n e l NEWSPEAK STAFF PHOTO / JO E FERRA

Are you prepared to work abroad?

P ro fesso r R oger G o ttleib , P rofessor o f P hilosophy at W P I a n d P resid en t of th e C C E A (the faculty e n v iro n m e n ta l group), ad d re sse s th e crow d th a t g ath ered for the open c a m p u s m eeting a b o u t recycling a t W P I. W P I’s G lo b al A w areness o f E n v iro n m en tal A ffairs (G A E A ) g ro u p sp o n so red the m eeting in a n effort to get a cam pus-w ide recycling p ro g ra m sta rte d h ere.

Page 3

NEWSPEAK

Tuesday April 19,1994

SPORTS

Women’s track sprints to second place finish

by Kevin Weed Class o f '96 The W PI w om en's track team held the Engi­ neers’ C up on Saturday, April 9, where they placed second to RPI in a battle that went down to the last two events: the 300 m eter and the 1600 m eter relay. RPI, how ever, managed to take first and second in the 3000 m eter and first in the relay, while WPI could only claim fourth in the 3000 m eter and second in the relay. The result w as a 13 to 4 point distribution in favor o f RPI, leaving a final score o f RPI 84, WPI 73.

M IT was also present, and managed to pick up 34 points. The w om en’s track team placed first in all the sprinting events. Sunny H wang led the

way for the Engineers, taking first in the 100 meter with a time of 14.42 and first in the 100 meter hurdles with a time o f 17.96. Michelle Hebert helped the Engineers sw eep the sprints by w inning the 200 m eter with a time o f 29.75, while the 4 x 100 team dem onstrated that they were the quickest team on the track by claiming first with a time o f 54.9. Elaine M ongeon had an excellent day for W PI as well. She won the triple ju m p with a jum p of 31' 7", and placed second in the 400 hurdles with a tim e o f 1:18:54. % Coach Savilonis was happy with his team ’s effort and rem arked that it had been quite some time since W PI womens track had dominated the dashes. The Engineers will travel to RIC on Saturday, April 23 to participate in Tri-States.

Men’s track faced tough competition vs RPI and MIT

by Kevin Weed Class o f '96 The WPI m en’s track team traveled to MIT on Saturday, April 9 to compete in the Engineers’ Cup, where they were battered and beaten by the strong teams of MIT and RPI. M IT won the meet with 92 points, RPI placed second with 73, while WPI managed to pick up the remain­ ing 38 points. Despite the loss, however, many individuals had a fine day of performing. Chris Pisz led W PI in scoring by picking up two first place finishes. He ran the 110 high hurdles in 16.39 seconds for his first win, then turned around and leaped 21 feet in the long jum p for his second victory o f the day. Chris Newell had

the only other first place finish for the Engi­ neers, throwing the javelin 5 5 .0 4 meters, which leaves him still undefeated this season in the javelin. John Guris also had a fine day, finish­ ing second in the400 meter w ith a time o f 5 1.01 seconds, his personal best this season, and also placing second in the 400 intermediate hurdles with a time o f 58.87. A fter the meet. Coach N orcross’ speech was short but sweet. “We got our butts kicked, but if you rem ember right, the same thing happened last year at this time and then we went on to win every meet from that point forward.” The m en’s track team will get their chance to see if they can make history repeat itself when they travel to Springfield on April 23.

BIO LO GY , BIOTECHNOLOGY, BIO M EDICAL E N G IN EER IN G & CHEM ISTRY M AJO RS

LEA R N A BO U T

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OPPORTUNITIES IN HEALTHCARE and BIOTECH PROFESSIONS

r , " i H i f Tin’ , . T . T> <1 ill

from E d K le in e r t, P h D .

A d m in is tr a to r o f C o lle g e R e la tio n s M e m o r ia l S lo a n -K e tte r in g C a n c e r C e n te r NEWSPEAK STAFF PHOTO / JASON PHILBROOK

Find out what to expect and how to prepare for career opportunities in these growing Helds.

W PI’s Chris Pisz works his way tow ards a first place finish in the 110 high hurdles in a meet against Trinity C ollege this past Saturday afternoon.

C orrection:

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799 Boylston Street, Boston, MA02116 Two-year NROTC scholarships offer tuition and other financial assistance worth as m uch as $35,000 to qualified c allege sophom ores.

The Navy pays for tuiuon, textbooks, instructional fees and gives you an allow ance of $100 a m onth for up to 20 m onths during your last two years o f college.

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L ast w eek \ew spea k s la te d th a t th e K iifjineers B a se b a ll te a m lost b o th g a m e s o f its d o u b le h e a d e r a g a in s t N o rw ic h I n iv e rs itv . I bis w as in c o r r e c t. T h e K n g in e e rs did w in th e se co n d g a m e wi t h a sc o re o f 14 to 7.

J?lritHony's TJarber Shop Welcomes WPI students Regular Haircuts B y Appt. or W alk-in Hours: M on-Sat

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NEWSPEAK

Page 4

Tuesday April 19,1994

ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT

Folks like him: Sam Cornish brings Black history to poetry

by M aria Salvati Class o f ’96 On W ednesday, April 13th, the O ffice o f M ulticultural A ffairs hosted a poetry reading in the WPI library with renow ned A fricanA m erican poet S am C ornish. Mr. C ornish teaches literatu re and m in o rity studies at Em erson C ollege in Boston. U nfortunately, M r. Cornish was late due to the W orcester bus system , but it did give spectators plenty of tim e to browse through the books from a local

bookstore, “ A fro-B ooks”, which contained ti­ tles by Mr. C ornish as well as L angston H ughes and M aya A ngelou. In the end, the w ait was w ell worth it.

The reading contained selections from his latest book Folks Like M e. His fourth collec­ tion o f poem s co n tain s many historical sub­ jects such as Sojourner Truth, Loui s A rm strong, E leanor R oosevelt, the early bus boycotts, and the fam ous S cottsboro case. In the poem “G en eral,” he calls Harriet T ubm an the Moses o f her people “com ing to set her children free.”

Buffalo Tom rocks Clark

A nother, “ W hy I Did Not G ive M y Seat To T h at W hite Man in 1932,” is told from the po int o f view o f R osa Parks living under the segregated Jim C row laws. “ My Darkness B um s the C ro ss” tells o f a black fam ily that w akes to see a cross burning in th eir yard: Lord w hen my darkness burns in your son in my backyard where you have died a cross burns everything and everyone My personal favorite was “ E legy” which told of how the blacks struggled to find pride in th eir work and in their lives. G enerations of slavery have left the people feeling shameful yet still trying to find m eaning in life. This is a

them e w hich pervades many o f his w orks.

Equally as im portant as history to M r. C or­ nish is a sense o f m usic. The first poem in the book, “ Perfect D ay,” was w ritten w ith the rhythm o f Scott Joplin in m ind. In “ Honky T onk” he describes w here blues com es from: T his is where m usic com es from: side street back street N egro blues at the back door knocking m usic o f Satchm o Sam C o rn ish ’s wit and hum or as well as beautiful poem s m ade for an enjoyable after­ noon, and I even brought hom e m y ow n autographed copy of Folks Like M e.

Spring Concert rings through Alden

NEWSPKAK STAFF PHOTO I MATT BONANNO

Buffalo Tom was one of the bands that played Clark University as part of their annual "Spree Day" last Wednesday.

NKWSPKAK STAFF PHOTO / JASON PHI I.BROOK

Adam Pelt/, keeps up with the rest of the WPI Concert Band as they entertain at the WPI and Tuft's University Spring Concert in Alden Hall last Sunday afternoon.

Ugly Man On Campus is here; cast your vote

by Sylvia Khatchadourian Class o f ’94 Are you a concerned student? Do you care about the future? Do you care about the envi­ ronm ent? Do you care about the current state o f the nation? W ell, it’s time to m ake a deci­ sion! No, it’s not a m ajor decision. It’s Dterm . We d o n ’t expect anyone to be capable enough to m ake a m ajor decision at this time.

But it is tim e to cast your vote for the Ugly Man O n Campus!

The candidates this year are (w ith sponsor­ ing organization in parenthesis): Provost D iran A pelian (AXA) Nat Fairbanks (SGA Senate) Dan Hebert (A T O ) Nik Lom bard (0 X ) Chris Roe (A X P) Professor Brian Savilonis (W om en’sT rack)

W arren Sm ale (SG A Exec) Matt T apley ( O i l ) Now that you know who the candidates vy­ ing for the prestigious title o f UMOC are, y o u ’re probably w ondering where and how you can vote. C om e to the UMOC table in the D aniels Mailroom area today through Friday from l Oam until 4pm and cast your vote. The price of votes are l vote for $0.25 and 5 votes for $1.00.

Proceeds from this event will benefit the charity o f the w inner’s choice. So when you’ve Fin­ ished presenting your project, when your rearend is tired from teeter-tottering, when your arm is tired from tossing the Frisbee around, when you’ve perform ed your heart out at New V oic­ es, stop by the UMOC table, check out the candidates’ pictures, and cast your vote!

U M OC is sponsored each spring by Alpha Phi O m ega, the national co-ed service fraternity on cam pus.

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE DRUNK

3 B edroom A partm ent $ 6 5 0

2 B edroom $552

With wall to wall carpeting, parking, laundry area, fully applianced kitchen with dishwasher, air conditioning, excellen t m aintenance and m anagem ent, _

ju s t a hop and a ju m p to WPI 7 9 9 * ^ *

Tuesday April 19,1994

NEWSPEAK

Page 5

NEWSPEAK

Page 6

Tuesday April 19, 1994

COMMENTARY

Philler Carbonless Paper and the Swiss Alps - The healthier alternative by iMurel and Guinevere Well, here we are again. Haven’t written since break because, well, it’s spring time. Spring. The snow melts, the grass turns green, the birds do sing, and thoughts turn to nature, love, drag racing, and degree requirements. I be­ lieve that I can speak for all of us in saying that at least one o f these things is important to each us as we make the final turn o f the academic school year.

And of course, chocolate.

As I send off the final papers to get financial aid, I seeadeeper truth of WPI. Beyond all o f the teaching, and testing, there is a universal bond which holds the school together: paperwork.

Sit down for a second and try to think how many times you’ve signed your name on a form this year. Now multiply that by how many years you’ve been at W PI. (For you freshmen out there, don't panic, it’s supposed to be the same num­ ber. Neat, huh?) Think of how many copies of your signature that WPI has in

a file cabinet somewhere. Scary isn’t it?

Why d o they need all those signatures?

C ouldn’t they just make one small book­ let with everything you could possibly want to agree to during the school year and have you sign it once? That may require toom any pages, and y o u ’d prob­ ably have to press wicked hard, though...

Better yet, when you get your ID’s, sign your name on a card. W PI can take all of those little cards and m ake everyoneapersonal signature stamp. Just like the pros. Y ou’d have to remember to bring your little stamp to registration and such, but it couldn’t be too bad. O f course, most o f the people I know don't remember to bring a simple pen to sign those papers in the first place, much less a stamp. Anyway, let’s try to figure this one out.

Right away when you apply'to WPI, they make you sign the application.

They could m ake your little stamp for you right there and then and hand it to you at orientation when you get your packet telling you your classes, room.

and P.O. box combination. - Signature #l Once you get accepted to WPI, I believe you have to sign your name saying that you accept to go here.

-Signature #2 Then comes the financial aid form. If there’s one place that likes looking at your signature more than WPI, it’s the government. L et’s see you have a Pre­ liminary FAF you have to sign. You have to do your taxes, so that would be once for National taxes, and once for State taxes. Then you get the real FAF which you have to sign. After they have everything, they send you a form back which has the answers you gave them and you have to verify that. That one you have to sign in two places. Then, along with photo copies of all o f those things (you don’t actually have to sign them again so we w on’t count those), WPI gives you one of those big folders with questions about your family and such, which look awfully similartosom e o f those previous government forms

Just a Thought A white or “green” paper

by Stephen Brown Protestant Campus M inistry Last w eek, I asked som e WPI stu­ dents about their reactio n s to the W HITE PAPER that President Strauss and the adm inistration had released to the W'PI com m unity. To a person, every student in the group was op­ posed to any proposed nam e change.

The sentim ent w as that if they had wanted to go to a university, they would have. They cam e here because it was a “ polytechnic institute”; one of only 4 with such a nam e in the country.

It m ight seem to some th a t a name change is only cosm etic, a PR device to attract future students, b ut should not make a big difference to current studentsoralum ni. Think again. Eight years ago, I decided to change JU ST THE SPELLIN G o f my first name: from Steven to Stephen. H aving just studied the story o f Stephen in the book o f A cts as part o f m y doctoral studies, I suddenly had a desire to claim my call to m inistry by identify­ ing with this first m artyr of th e church.

It was a very personal and em otional decision, one that I thought all my family w ould appreciate and support.

It was my turn to “ think again.”

My wife reacted ju st as em otionally, saying that she had married “ Steven” and not “ S tephen” and w as not sure she was ready for the change. We needed som e time to talk about what I was going through and what that meant to her and to us. We got through it, and gradually the rest of the family cam e to understand and support my decision to becom e “ Stephen.” Names are im portant, and changing them changes our identity and o u r sense of who we are called to be. N evershould

changing o n e ’s name be taken lightly.

A second question I asked the group was concerning their indebtedness. It was a personal question, b u t several were w illing to respond. T heir an­ swers staggered me. One student, a recent graduate, figured his debts were close to $40,000; an o th er guessed $25,000 by the time he graduated. I know in my ow n son’s case, it will be close to $ 10,000. I com pared that to my debt in 1969 which was $ 1,500. I was able to pay mine o ff in tw o years.

But I w onder how long to d a y ’s stu­ dents w ill need to pay their loans off?

W hich leads m e to a second part o f the “W hite” Paper. O r m aybe “Green Paper.” The clear m essage is that WPI wants and needs m ore “ PA Y IN G ” custom ers, not students in financial need, req u irin g loans, g ran ts, and scholarships. W ith budgets tighten­ ing and expenses increasing, the abil­ ity to provide financial assistance is hurting the stability o f W PI. (and a lot o f other schools as well). W P I’s solu­ tion is to go after students “ who can pay” (read “ rich” ).

Now I could get really cynical at this point and do my best “ Jeremiah the P rophet” routine and suggest that the new A dm issions Policy for WPI is “only the w ealthy need app ly " and w onder if w e are putting up new ob­ stacles for poor and m inority students to have to surm ount in order to have a chance at a W PI degree. But that would be too cheap and too easy, and I know that o th er schools are propos­ ing sim ilar policies.

W hat such proposals d o dem on­ strate is a dearth o f real strategic think­ ing about the future o f higher educa­ tion in our country. W e could easily make college unaffordable and un­ available to large segm ents of our

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Jello publicity didn't fit mold To the Editor: I would like to praise the Social C om m ittee for getting Jello Biafra, form er D ead K ennedy’s frontm an, to speak at H arrington on April 11. Jello is on a spoken word tour around the country, tel ling college students about his experiences w ith T ipper G ore and the PM RC, his view s on m any politi­ cal subject, including N AFTA, the C linton adm inistration, as well as many other interesting things he has come up w ith. He spoke fo r 2 hours plus, and thrilled the audience the whole tim e. U nfortunately, I must also frown upon the Social C om m it­

tee for the lack o f publicity the event received. It appeared in N ew speak, with Ihe incorrect place. It appeared in The Worcester Phoenix. And there were about 2 posters around campus.

I’m not sure if more WPI students would have com e to see the show.

After all. I w ould consider the m ajor­ ity of students on the more conserva­ tive side when it com es to someone who nam ed him self after a popular dessert, but I thought m ore people would be at least open m inded to it had they known about it.

C hristian Kuiawa C lass of 96

population by m aking affordability the criteria for deciding w ho can at­ tend college. Such a criteria would slam the doors shut on thousands o f brilliant and capable students who through no fault of th eir own were born into poor o r m iddle class fam i­ lies. Such a policy w ould need to have far m ore im pact at W PI than just a nam e change. And it would be one more sign that leadership in academ ia m irrors corporate leadership in fol­ low ing a “crisis m anagem ent” style; one which cannot see past next quar­ ter or next y e a r’s balance sheet.

No, the long term health o f WPI and C lark and o ther schools rests not on deciding w ho can afford to com e to school and w ho cannot, but how can w e restructure higher education so that its cost are m anageable by schools and students and that no student with abiltiy and prom ise is left out because o f his/her bank balance. N o one pol­ itician or consulting firm or school can answ er that question alone. But the time and effort put into such an endeavor can be the difference be­ tween m aintaining ourdem ocracy and the educational system needed to sup­ port it; or we can drift further into a “ m onetary-ocracy” (my word inven­ tion) and drive further gaps between the haves and the have-nots in our society. With such an outcom e, the nam e o f the institution w o n ’t really m atter to very m any people at all.

you had to sign - unnecessary I would think. You have to sign the back of that too. - Signatures #3, #4, #5, #6 , #7, #8 and #9 Next, WPI sends you a list o f the money they’re willing to give you, and how much of that that you have to give back when you’re done, or work off as work study. You have to agree to that.

- Signature #10 Then there’s the bill and the check. Signatures #11 and #12 I think they norm ally check to make sure you didn’t get any new scholar­ ships since they last checked. Send in the blank sheet with your signature. Signature #13 The letter from whoever is sponsor­ ing your Standford loan wants your signature to admit that you will be in­ debted to them after you graduate, also.

-Signature #14 If you wanted a Freshman record, I think you have to sign a form, and then another check. -Signatures #15 and #16 I know you have to sign another form and check if you want to rent one of those little regulation refrigerators. -Sig­ natures # 17 and # 18 O.K. let’s recap. Y ou haven’t even set foot at WPI yet, and already you’ve sig n ed y o u r n am e E IG H T E E N TIMES!!! L et’s continue...

You get to WPI in the fall. If you live on campus (w e’ll pretend we do so we get a more impressive figure) you have to sign for your room keys. -Signature #19 Get your nifty neat, eight bucks if you lose it, WPI ID. Gotta sign the bottom so everyone can check this sig­ nature with the others. Make it neat. Signature #20 If you got a Stafford loan, you have to get SOMEONE ELSES signature, and then sign another form. -Signature #21 Registration: Joy o f joys. Sitting in the bleachers for hours so that you can sign papers. G et your section called and away you go: Hazing form - I w on’t even bother com m enting on this impor­ tantly regarded slip of paper. The one that asks you what your local newspaper is - What is that for?! ?! ?! ? The main one, I don’t think you have to sign. -Signa­ tures #22 and #23 Course changes? Sign your name for each one. -Your signature milage may vary...

Alright, we add in all of the housing lottery paperwork (four I believe, don’t forget the reserv atio n check), any workstudy forms, any miscellaneous papers, project applications, etc., etc...

Drum roll please... I get roughly 85 signatures by the time you graduate, and I’m sure you have to sign tons o f stuff to graduate. 1 didn’t include any course changes (like that w ould ever happen) or any Greek forms y o u ’d have to sign, no change of project advisors, change of address forms, every single time you

want to get a package from the mail room, the list goes on and on... Easily over 100 o f your signatures are som e­ where in W P I’s files! I ’m sure I’ve missed a lot too... I was right before about having to press wicked hard to get that 100th page o f carbonless paper to get your signature. Especially the last part o f your signature where it tends to draw into a straight line and go really light...

Now, imagine how much time you’d save if you have your handy-dandy-WPIlogo-on-the-handle-in-red-ink-when-ourschool-color-is-maroon signature stamp.

Just stamp, stamp, stamp, and you’d be done. Hey. WPI could just sign your name for you too... Couldn’t be that hard, save everyone some time, and they’d probably like the prospects, too... • Point is they love paperwork. They love filing. They love making you sign a form to drop a project and another form to drop your PQP, only to fill out a new form to sign up for another project.

They love making you pay at Boynton to get a little slip to go to another build­ ing to give them the slip to get another slip to go to the loading dock to get a package.

They love fines. If you drop a project that you never went to after it’s over, they’ll charge you a late fee. If you want to sign up early for a project in A term, they'll charge you an early fee. W hat’s wrong with being EARLY? They must like to do last minute paperwork...

Tons and tons o f paper. REGI helps.

Starting to get a little less paper. What do they do? Print out little cards to give to everyone so they can use REGI!!!

T hey’ve got to sneak that paperwork (and those little colored perforated cards, they love them too) in there somewhere, otherwise they d o n ’t feel com plete.

Paperless office? Not for WPI, not fora long time. They like using those tree things... Ink too. I don’t know how to grow ink, so I can ’t com m ent on that part.

They like paperwork and fines and forms...

Speaking o f forms, it’s time to bring this w eek’s Philler to a close and you know we love all of our readers very, very, much and we would love to take al I of our readers out to fancy restaurants every week, but we don’t know who you are, and you don’t know who we are so the time must wait. In the mean time, Newspeak has published a little form of their own. R eader’s poll. This entire article has been a shameless buttering up and leading to the point plug to vote for us for best Newspeak feature. Come on, I know no one turns 'em in until the last minute, so fill us in and send it in. and w e’ll see about the fancy restaurant thing. I know most of you want to write in “police log” but they haven't been very faithful to you either lately...

‘Til! our paths cross again...

o

N e w spe a k The Student Newspaper of Worcester Polytechnic Institute WPI Box 2700, Worcester, Massachusetts 01609 Phone (508) 831-5464 • Fax (508) 831-5721 Editor-In-Chief Vijay Chandra

News Editor Chris Freeman

Jason Philbrook

Brian Parker

Photography Statt Matt Bonanno Geoff Elliott Joe Ferra Patti Kessler Byron Raymond Don Socha

Advertising Staff Dave Koelle

Business Manager John Grossi Writing Staff James Aduskevich Jason Hutt Becky Kupcinskas Harrison Ripps Joe Schaffer Andrew Walts Jennx Yambert

Kristen Greene Graphics Staff Melissa Perkalis Troy Thompson

Lexie Chutoransky

John Trimbur Associate Editors Michael Caprio Eric Craft Jennifer Kavka Sue MacPherson Kevin Parker Tom Sico Typist Dennis Obie

WPI Newspeak of Worcester Polytechnic Institute, formerly the Tech News has been published weekly during Ihe academic year, except during college vacations, since 1909 Newspeak has been printed on recycled paper since January, 1991. Masthead designed by Troy Thompson for Newspeak's 21st Anniversary Letters to the Editor should be typed (double-spaced) and must contain the typed or printed name of the author as well as the author's signature, telephone number, and box number tor verification Students submitting letters to the editor should put their class after their name Faculty and staff should include their full title Letters deemed libelous or irrelevant to the WPI community will not be published.

The editors reserve the right to edit all other copy for correct punctuation and spelling All copy is due by 5:00 p.m. on the Friday preceding publication Send them to WPI Box 2700, bring them to the Newspeak office (Riley 01). or send them via email newspeak@wpi wpi edu. They must include the author's name and box number There is a 275 word limit imposed on Club and Greek corner submissions All ads are due by 5:00 p.m. on the Thursday preceding publication. Any submissions received after this time will be subject to a flat $15 late fee per ad Advertisements, including classified ads. will not be accepted via email Classified ads must be prepaid The decision on whether a submission is a public service announcement or an advertisement lies with the editors The editorial is written by a member or members of the Newspeak staff It does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the entire Newspeak staff Printing is done by Saltus Press First Class postage paid al Worcester. Massachusetts Subscription rate is $20 00 per school year, single copies 75 cents within the continental United States Make all checks payable lo WPI Newspeak

Page 7

NEWSPEAK

Tuesday April 19,1994

EDITORIAL

Spring fever hits WPI; what will you be doing?

Spring W eek prom ises m any events for the adventurous.

It’s tim e for you, the typical W PI student, to get involved.

Many groups on cam pus, such as S ocC om m , the Q u adF est C om m ittee, the Healthy Alternatives Office, and L ens and Lights, just to nam e a few, have assem bled a w eek full of “ fun” activities in an attem pt to stimulate the lighter h a lf of our brains.

Q uadFest, the capstone even t on W ednesday, prom ises many events, including a barbecue, perform ances by Chain Link Fence, airball, a volleyball tournam ent, su m o w re s­ tling, a martial arts d em onstration, gyro, rollerblade hockey and a pie-eating contest. T hat night, Harrington A uditorium

will be transform ed into a giant dance club w ith live music, fantastic lighting, and more prizes than you could possibly imagine.

The follow ing evening, Thursday, S o c C o m m ’s P u b C o m mittee, L am b d a Chi Alpha, and Lens and Lights will com e together to bring tw o bands to cam pus: Tribe and Letters to Cleo.

In the midst o f spring week, New Voices 12 will add an air of culture to the cam pus. For those o f you w h o d o n ’t know about N ew Voices, it’s a four day long theatrical festival consisting o f fifteen plays, all of w hich are written, per­ formed and produced by students. O ver 20 0 students are

already involved in this m assive production, and if y o u ’re not o n e of them , what better w ay to show your support for them than by attending!

A trem endous am ount o f tim e and talent has been put forth to w a rd making this w eek a success. Yet these efforts will go to w aste unless Y O U make an effort (or simply m ake the tim e) to attend. C o m e show y o u r support and have a good tim e. Take a break from project w ork and studying and enjoy the spring weather and activities with the cam pus co m m unity . A first step to w ard building a sense o f c o m m u ­ nity at WPI is to attend events such as this and meet your peers.

STUDENT GOVERNMENT ASSOCIATION U n official M inu tes

ing through solicitation from the WPI for som e m isplaced license plates.

A ndrew T hiessen, EE, ‘96 com m unity and investigation for the -P arking: C h air W alsh reported Student Body as necessary. th a t th e c o m m itte e h ad m et on Sen. Single so moved to confirm W ednesday. At the m eeting they fi­ the nom inations as presented by Pres.

4.

The Committee shall develop the nalized the reco m m en d atio n s that Sm ale, Sen. G rossi seconded. Motion standard operating procedure for the would be w ritten into th eir parking 12d.94 was then voted on and passed. com m ittee. proposal. The proposal w ill com e to - Motion 13d.94, WPI Plan II the Senate in 2 w eeks, in the m ean­ Sen. K hatchadourian asked that Proposal/Rebuttal Paper time any suggestions may be placed - Sen. M cM anus m oved that the Section II, part 3 be gram m atically in the Parking box o r given directly to S tudent G overnm ent A ssociation apcorrected to read: 3. The com m ittee C hair W alsh. shall be responsible for as­ - WPI Plan II: C hair sisting in information gath­ WORCESTER POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE ering through solicitation M cM anus reported that the com m ittee had met 5 from the WPI com m unity tim es since the previous and investigation for the Student Body as neces­ Senate m eeting. D uring those m eetings the com ­ sary. M otion I4 d .9 4 w a s then voted on and passed. m ittee had developed the paper that w ould be pro­ - Motion 15d.94, Sen­ posed in New B usiness. atorial Appointments - Pres. Smale presented A dditionally, the com m it­ STUDENT GOVERNMENT ASSOCIATION tee had begun w orking on senatorial appointm ents to a “C areer F air” idea, that would be prove the “ Student G overnm ent A s­ replace 3 senators w ho left the Senate used to allow faculty m em bers to sociation o f W .P.I. Position Paper: during C-term, and asked if any sena­ M arketing the New W PI’’, the m otion present their proposed Interface D is­ tors were interested in entertaining a cipline curriculum s. The com m ittee was seconded by Sen. C orriveau. Sen. m otion to accept Pres. Sm ale’s Sena­ was w aiting to speak with Associate M cM anus opened discussion by p ro ­ to ria l A p p o in tm e n ts as S te p h e n Dean S hacterle, in order to ensure any posing and going through approxi­ Bergman (EV, ‘97), Edward Hallisey program s SGA puts on w ill not co n ­ m ately 3 spelling and gram m atical (EV , ‘97), and Joseph Plunkett (EE, flict or will in fact work with p ro ­ changes. A vote was then taken on ‘97). Sen. Findlen so m oved, and Sen. gram s he may be doing.

M otion 13d.94, and the m otion passed.

A verill seconded. Sen. Single moved - Policies and Procedures: Sec. (D ue to the length o f the paper it is not to divide. Sen. Sprague seconded the K hatchadourian asked that any more provided w ithin the m inutes, yet it is m otion to divide, and discussion fol­ com m ents on the P& P by-law s should available in the SGA O ffice.) low ed. Sen. S ingle desired the m o­ be placed in the co m m ittee’s box.

Motion 14d.94, Public Rela­ tion to be divided in order to learn tions By-laws VI. Old Business: none about each appointm ent individually.

VII. New Business: Sen. Butland moved the Senate Sen. C orriveau asked if it w ould be - Motion 12d.94, ‘9 4-’95 Aca­ acceptable for Pres. Smale to first accept the By-law s o f the SGA Public R elations com m ittee as presented, demic Committee Appointments give a little background on the three Sen. W alsh seconded.

- Pres. S m ale presented his ap­ nom inations and then decide w hether pointm ents for the academ ic year ‘94A rticle VII Public R elations or not to divide. Sen. Single with ’95 and asked for the Senate to en ter­ drew his motion to divide, and Pres.

Committee I. Membership tain a m otion to accept his nom ina­ Sm ale was given the floor to give tions, as follow s: background inform ation on the nom ­ 1. A m inim um o f five (5) m em bers - Committee on Academic Oper­ inations. Follow ing discussion M o­ are required for the com m ittee to o p ­ ations: erate. tion 15d.94 was voted on and passed.

Kirsty Sokol, BBT, ‘95 2. All appointm ents shall be m ade - Additions to the Agenda Patrick S ullivan, M EA, ‘95 according to C onstitutional policy.

- Sen. Single m oved to add a M o­ - Committee on Academic Poli­ tion 16d.94, M en ’s Crew Team Spe­ II. Duties & Responsibilities cy: cial Funding R equest, Sen. Averill Jason A verill, C E, ‘96 1. It is the duty o f the Public seconded the m otion to add, and the Jeffrey C ollem er, CS, ‘95 Relations com m ittee to serve as the m otion passed 14-4-1.

- Committee on Student Advis­ inform ation conduit betw een the S tu ­ - Sen. Single then moved to accept ing: dent G overnm ent A ssociation and the the M en 's Crew T eam 's special fund­ Student Body.

C athleen C onnelly, M A , ‘96 ing request as subm itted to the C lass II Kevin Shea, C H , ‘95 2. The com m ittee shall be respon­ O C FC to be funded out o f the C lass I sible for developing the calendar, b u l­ - Faculty Awards Committee: and U reserve fund. With the provi­ Jennifer D eluca, BBT, ‘95 letin board, window displays, flyers sion that if sufficient funds are not Sarah M cllhenny, NE, ‘96 etc. present in the reserve fund the M en’s Daniel O ’D onnell, CM , ‘95 3. The com m ittee shall be resp o n ­ C rew team will not be penalized un­ Rebecca R ubenstein. MEB, ‘96 sible assisting in inform ation g ath er­ der A rticle IV, Section 1, part C, para­

to be approved April 21, 1994 W O RC ESTER PO LY T EC H N IC IN STITU TE S tudent G overnm ent A ssociation M inutes for the m eeting o f April 14, 1994 I. M eeting called to order at 6:40.

II. Attendance: Present: E xecutive Council: W ar­ ren Sm ale, Pres.; B arbara D oyle, V ice Pres.; Amy Scott, Sect.

Senate: Josh A rias, Jason A verill, Prakash Bhatia, Rachel B utland, Dan C orriveau, Ryan D aly, Nat F airbanks, G reg Findlen, Deb F oley , John G rossi, S y lv ia K h a tc h a d o u r ia n , P at M cM anus, Kirstv R eidy, Josh Single, D anielle J. Snow , Justin S prague, A ndrew T hiessen, D ennis W alsh Parliam entarian: M ike Pereira A bsent: Lexie C hutoransky (ex), T reas. C athleen C onnelly (ex), Jen K eenan (ex), M ike Schulz, Patrick Sullivan, C hristopher T hom as (ex).

W olf W inset (ex)

III.

S-G-A

Approval of the Minutes:

The m inutes o f April 7th w ere ap ­ proved as printed in N ew speak (n e­ glecting spelling errors). The m inutes o f M arch 31st w ere approved with changes as proposed by Sec. Scott (due to the length of the changes, copies m ay be obtained in the SGA O ffice).

IV.

Vice President’s Report:

none

V. Committee Reports: • SGA - PR: C hair Butland reported that there had been som e changes m ade to the PR by-law s that had been m ade available the week before, and asked that everyone review the new copies that had been handed out because they were on the agenda. She also asked for inform ation paragraphs from Park­ ing, O rientation, Policies & P roce­ dures, and Executive.

- Elections: C hair C orriveau reported that the deadline for C am pus H earing Board E lections had been postponed for one week. It w as ex ­ plained that this was due to not enough applications being received, and b e­ cause the proposed election date was scheduled Tor Q uadfest day.

- Transportation: C hair A verill reported that the com m ittee is looking

NEWSPEAK ENTERTAINMENT

L a rg e r t L

u

m

graph 7, o f the by-law s, if the am ount o f their deficit is less than the am ount not funded by this supplem ental fund­ ing request. Sen. Averill seconded the m otion, and Sen. Single began discussion by explaining that the re­ quest w as identical to a request ap­ proved by the Senate at the April 7th m eeting, yet M en’s C rew had been refused the funding by the A ppropri­ ations C om m ittee. The A ppropria­ tions partially explained that this was due to the W om en’s team requesting the m oney before they actually went out and spent it, yet it appeared as though the M en’s team had done the opposite. Sen. Daly m oved to table the m otion. Sen. C orriveau seconded.

M otion 16d.94 was not tabled due to a 9-10-0 vote. Follow ing m ore dis­ cussion, Sec. Scott m oved to refer m otion 16d.94 back to the A ppropri­ ations C om m ittee, Sen. W alsh sec­ onded. T he m otion to table passed and M otion 16d.94 was referred to the A ppropriations Com m ittee.

- Sen. R eidy moved to add a M o­ tion 17d.94, M asque Special Funding R equest. The m otion to add was sec­ onded by Sen. Findlen, and passed.

- Sen. R eidy moved to allocate $ 1 5 0 0 .0 0 , in sp ecial fu n d in g to M asque. Sen. W alsh seconded, and m otion I7d.94 passed.

VIII. Announcements: - WPI Groups: - A ssist. Dean Jacham ow icz, asked that anyone involved with Spirit C om ­ m ittee speak w ith him about a photo­ copying bill.

- Student Rep. Pereira reported that C A O w ould be voting on the C hem ical Engineering proposal the next day. A lthough students were generally very much in favor of the proposal, there were still som e seri­ ous questions about the IQP require­ m ents.

- SGA: - Pres. Sm ale rem inded senators o f the BBQ to be held at V ice President B row n’s hom e, and asked that all those who w ould be attending RSVP by signing up on the sign-up sheet posted in the office.

IX.

M eetin g ad jou rn m ent:

Sen. Butland m oved to adjourn the m eeting. Sen. M cM anus seconded, and the m otion passed. M eeting ad ­ journed at 7:20.

NEWSPEAK

Page 8

Tuesday April 19,1994

CLUB CORNER

Alpha Phi Omega First order o f business: Induction tonight in Stratton 308, be there for 7 :3 0 , induction will start prom ptly (as usual..) at 8 pm. All big brothers are STRONGLY recom m ended to attend and all the brothers are encouraged to attend the cerem ony.

Second order differential equation: solve for r, u sin g both the E ig e n . H eu n , and W ronskian m ethods... and describe your pro­ cess using only 50 cent w ords.

Third order o f business: ENTH USIA SM SCHTU FF: UMOC w edge sitting... talk to Sly, T alking to the E lderly... talk to Paul, Park Cleanup... talk to Jeff. A G D /L X A Teeter-Totter-a-thon contributions are still being collect­ ed if you forgot to bring your dolla to the meeting last night... talk to Mike...

NEW V OICES... Can you name all those involved w ith New V oices??? That includes the directors, the asst-dirs, and all crew type peoples????

Good jo b to the neophytes for an excellent job with th eir service and fellow ship projects! (good job to you, loo C orinne.)

Fourth ord er of Big B onkin Beaver Butts: Believing in Big Bonkin B eaver Butt Brothers Believing they will survive D Term.

The clock is ticking... tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock...

I'm gettin a little crazy so I will go and be one with the sun and the w ind... (yak)

Chinese Student Association Hello everyone! A ren 't you glad that there are only three more w eeks to go until the end o f the school year! Hey. le t’s go!

Thank you for those that show ed up at the A ctivities Fair last W ednesday. Probably we had the largest group o f people there! This show s our unity! Keep it up! Ify o u d id n ’t see many C hinese students at the A ctivities Fair, d o n 't be UPSET! There w ill be m ore here when school starts at the en d o f August. So, d o n ’t w orry, be happy! Be ready to grab more freshmen (boys and girls!) to join us!

The next exciting event after the Cultural Festival is our BBQ this W ednesday! It is going to take place on H ig g in ’s lawn, from 3:30 to 6:00. Be there to jo in us! It is going to be a lot o f FUN! T hanks again to people w ho are w illing to make the Dragon Dance during Q uadFest!

Since we did a good job in the Cultural Festi­ val, many people are dying to see it again! So, make it happen! (W e d o n ’t want too many people to die for us! Ha!) Ify o u c a n ’t make the Dragon D ance, do n ’t feel bad, we will have more things waiting for you to participate in!

sodas, and it will be a more form al m eeting.

G A P has decided to steer away from the en v i­ ronm ental issues w e’ve focused a lot on this year, and concentrate on G lobal issues and debates in upcom ing years. O ur next m eeting is W ed the 2()th, N OT T H U R SD A Y , in AK as usual at 6:30pm as usual. See y ’all there.

International Student Council T hank you very m uch for all the work in the 8th A nnual C ultural Festival. E specially to our advisor Dean T hom sen. I think we all agree that this is the best one we ever had. Have you checked out the pictures on our bulletin board yet? T he stolen banner... The election is sch ed ­ uled to be on tom orrow (4/20) at 4pm in M or­ gan C. We are looking forw ard for another exciting and excellent year. A lso, we are p u t­ ting together pictures o f C ultural Festival, please bring in those from your club(s). See you at the m eeting.

Masque NEW VOICES NEW VOICES NEW V O IC ­ ES!!! T his is the week we have all been w aiting for. N ew V o ices 12 is here and its FREE!!! 15 plays on one stage over 4 days, W ednesday thru Saturday look for posters, and an article elsew here in N ew sp eak [vol22, num 12. April 12.1994 - Ed] for m ore info. A lpha Psi Induc­ tions are after Friday n ig h t’s perform ance. In other new s. Q uad Fest help will be need on Tuesday night and W ednesday to build and move a stage to the qu ad ...if everyone donates 20 m inutes it will help m ake us look good to the rest o f the W PI com m unity. N EW VOICES 12- BE THERE!

Men’s Glee Club Hi all. I hope y o u 're all dealing well with term stress... better than I am. For those o f you who d o n 't read em ail, keep the 24th open, and ask one o f us com puter literate types why. And now, courtesy o f Scott, here are a few sugges­ tions for some o f you now that you have free time. And, being a C ivil, he know s all about free time.

V arious things that Glee C lub m em bers will do now that C arm ina Burana is over:

Babb - pass a course, Ted - get a job, B urby - grow an inch or tw o. R ousseau - learn to w alk again, Ettore - sober up, Steiner - find another w om an, LeB eau - w h atev er L ouis w ants, M aselli - call Laura again / graduate, Yama “ what! It’s already over? When was the co n cert?”, Jacko - learn to sw im . Bob - run for President of Regis C ollege G lee Club, G ressley - find another excuse not to date Kathy, F raser - boxing lessons.

Pre-Law Society The Pre-Law Society will be having a m e e t­ ing this W ednesday, April 2()th at 4:30 in the Social Science C onference Room which is located in A tw ater Kent room 126. The p u r­ pose o f this m eeting is to discuss the upcom ing trip to Boston U niversity and the possibility o f an on cam pus speaker. All current m em bers are urged to attend this m eeting. Furtherm ore, all those students interested in law who m ay have any questions are also invited. The PreLaw Society has planned to visit Boston U n i­ versity Law School this com ing Friday, A pril 22nd. T his trip includes a tour of the BU law facilities, a Q uestion and A nsw er period and the chance to visit a freshm an law class. W e will be leaving W PI at 8:00am and should be returning at approxim ately 1:00pm. All m em ­ bers interested are urged to attend the m eeting on W ednesday (A pril 20th) so we can arrange for transportation. If you cannot attend the m eeting and are interested in the BU trip please contact professor R issm iller or Kevin Eddy (even if we have your nam e already). If you have a car and are w illing to drive, should the need arise, please let us know . Lastly, during the last m eeting the idea o f having a law yer com e to WPI and speak about the law profes­ sion was kicked around. I am still trying to contact a m em ber o f the Blogett and B logett law firm to see if this is possible. I would like to find out how m any people w ould be interest­ ed in hearing a speaker som etim e during the week o f April 23rd - April 29th. I would hate to get the speaker and then not have anyone com e and listen. Thanks.

Society for Medieval Arts and Sciences

Global Affairs Party Hello G apsters! Earth D ay is this w eekend, and w e’re going to be busy. The Institute Pond C leanup is Saturday from 10-2 so d o n ’t forget to take som e time out o f y o u r busy schedule to com e help make our com m unity a little clea n ­ er. On Sunday from noon to 4:30 we will be doing a booth, explaining to the general public some of the m aterials that can and cannot be recycled, w hile displaying products represent­ ing these m aterials, if you want to help out at the booth let Shannon know at sm finley@ w pi.

We will be holding our first W ednesday m eet­ ing at 6:30pm next w eek, location to be an­ nounced. W e ’re even going to have pizza and

Society of Women Engineers Hello all. T -shirt sales are going great! As o f today we will have to order more because we sold all o f them! K eep in m ind this is before the 25th A nniverary o f W omen! The last m eeting o f the year will be on M onday April 25th at 6:30. Please attend one and all, especially if you are interested in taking part in the W om ­ e n 's M entoring Program for freshm en. Any q u e stio n s, co m m en ts, o r concerns: em ail sw e@ w pi T hought for the week: Friends are like tea bags, you find out their strength when they are put in hot water.

T h e B a s ic s f o r y o u r E u r o p e a n V a c a t io n

(Dont haw homewithoutthem/!)

Hey you. Y eah, you. W hy w eren't you at

Campus Hearing Board

Christian Bible Fellowship This y ear seem s to be headed tow ards a rapid close at this point. Just a rem inder for those who need it: you need to RS VP regarding the end o f term bash by th is Friday! D on’t forget. T his Friday night in H iggins Labs room I0I at 7:00 p.m. we are having a concert o f prayer. Sound uninteresting? If you have never taken part in aconcert o f prayer, I strongly encourage you to come. Y ou will not regret it.

Normal activities continue at their norm al ap­ pointed tim es for the two o r three m eetings that remain. “ But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly w ay.” (I C orinthians 14:40). While this verse in its context is referring to the need for order in how worship is carried out, it is also a reference which rem inds me o f a more general characteristic of G od: He is a God of order. And that leads to principal num ber five for staying in the race: “A llow God to im press order upon disorder.” It is in the tim es when we feel disorganized or o ut o f control that the tem ptation to give up the race is strongest. God does order everything that happens in the uni­ verse, and that includes o u r own lives, so why the frustration, why the helplessness, or hope­ lessness? B ecause we need to turn to G od and ask Him to impress order upon the disorder of our lives. T his may not sound significant, but if you ask for G od’s o rd er in these last few w eeks of the term, and allow Him to. He will do it!

R ay ’s event last w eekend (that being A pril 9)?

You had plenty o f w arning. *sigh* You m issed out on a lot o f fun stuff, too. Like the A ydan-death squad. Like the U LTIM ATE battle for control over the seas that covered som e o f Periden. Like the huge nasty battle at the end o f the event that w as gangs o ’ fun. Lots o ’ fightin' and q u estin ’ and sailin ’ and other exertions. Oh, well.

T his m eans y o u ’ll be going to som e o f the o ther events betw een now and the end o f the year, right? L ike the Spring F estival of B lackavar, this com ing w eekend. O r m aybe y o u ’ll m ake it to som e o f the events over the sum m er, like the m onstrous weekend event that Sir Shane and Pol C oville are throw ing at the end o f May. If you ’re interested in possibly m aking it to som e of the events over the sum ­ mer, em ail me, randi@ w pi, or find another officer, and ask them w ho to contact for preregistrations or N P C ’s and suchlike.

T here will be elections for next y ear’s o ffic­ ers som etim e in the very near future. This m eans that if you w ant to have a say in who they are, y o u ’d probably better show up to a practice or two soon. W e’ll mail you w hen we know when these elections are really going to be.

More will be forthcom ing at som e future date. Really. T rust us.

Elections postponed one week

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617-266-1926

Petitions due on April 21 Elections to be held on April 28 by the mailroom Pick up & Return Petition in the SGA office

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'i

a

-jci” »*r

NEWSPEAK

Tuesday April 19,1994

Page 9

GREEK CORNER

AXP

A rA

W elcom e once again to the four day old G reek C om er! I don ’t know about today (since I ’m probably still in bed), but I definitely know that Friday’s w eather w as a nice diversion for the cold and w et variety. H opefully there w ill be more o f the same in the n ear future.

Well, back to reality.

T oday’s first order o f business: W hat on Earth happened to A -Team F lo o r H ockey? I mean, we actually W O N! It truly w as a great gam e, and we look forw ard to a repeat p erfo r­ mance tonight (I w ouldn ’t bet on it, though...)

Speaking o f fluke occurances, Luke actu a l­ ly rolled up his sleeves, dried his tears, and did his last w ait-on Friday. Tom w as so pleased w ith his perform ance that he decided to give him double credit for it! C ongrats, Hulk - now get back to work!

Also, congratulations must go out to Rob Jackson, w ho gave a heart-felt speech last week recalling the tales of living his life in sin, and his struggle le to becom e at peace w ith him self and his fam ily. We ST IL L believe, Anita!

Well, T om , after alm ost a w hole w eek, y our sign in the kitchen w as FIN ALLY altered, and I can ’t think o f another sign in the history o f vandalizing that was asking for it more than that one was. Personally, I think that a grade o f 47 was pretty generous, but at any rate, y our attem pt at a properly structured list was still a com plete gram m atical failure. (W hoops! I ’m sorry - I'm supposed to be putting dow n chairs, not Tom. Oh well...)

Lastly, rem em ber to w ear yo u r shirts and ties tom orrow - if you d o n ’t, Jose is going to organize another party...

Hello! I get to be the guest w riter this week, guess who? For starters. I’m still in one piece...m inus som e hair that L aura was kind enough to set on fire!

Seniors: did you have fun last w eek? C hris­ tine, I ’m sorry that I sent your cak e flying across the room! Oops! T h a t’s the sam e sheet cake that got stuck betw een two do o rs and then dropped dow n the stairs. The sam e cake that the bakery forgot to deliver!

I w onder w hy all o f the V ibrating Holiday T oys were left behind to me? Not! Oh, for those seniors still looking up, we m ade a ban­ ner - not a sky-w riting plane. DUH! As for red, b uff and green je llo - I ’m not asking! I ju st got lost w ith D arlene near her house and then got caught stealing rocks by * L X A ’s...A nd we can ’t forget how C arrie falls, standing still, while painting a banner at 8AM. TK E , thanks for singing “ Y ou’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” outside o f my w indow at 5AM on Thursday. It w as so appropriate!

CON GRA TU LATIONS to Jen L ord for get­ ting pinned to Pete G rabow ski o f SAE and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Pam M oser.

I ’ve never cried or laughed so hard as I did this week. Seniors, W E W ILL M ISS YOU! Rem em ber, never say goodbye, and when it rains, it pours!

Some final thoughts: 1) “This w ould only happen to m e” 2) FIREW OM AN! FIR ESTA R TER !

3) 600 Papers, puffy paint galore, pet rocks, cake, fire- and my new dress stayed clean!

4) Thank G od for good hair!

5) It’s alw ays an adventure!

Maximize Your Scores:

LSAT GRE GMAT MCAT

Courses at WPI starting soon!

TH E PRINCETON REVIEW

MI

we score more

(617) 558-2828

-A RC PS. T eeter-T otter-A -T hon’s HERE! A T n T he End O f T he W orld is here. T his Satur­ day, be there or y o u ’re g o in ’ to m iss what the world has to offer. The H ouse should put a collection together for a D rew ’s car fund. M ay­ be, if we get enough we can even throw in a toupe. It w as good to see all the alum ni at the last party. H opefully, you new rooks can see how it’s done. T hanks E than for the hearts game on the com puter. T hanks to you the entire house is now going to fail D -term . W atch out Blue Eagle. R um or has it your w ings are getting clipped soon. Later!

AXA Hey everybody remember that really nice day we had last Friday? Well I’m writing this during it (wish you were here) so this is going to be short.

As you all know we should be in the middle of the Teeter-Totter-athon. Only three more days to go.

Other than that congrats to hockey-B for picking up their first win. Last w eek’s seventh-man award goes to Joe Manley for his stellar play in goal. Hockey A and Soccer were downed how­ ever in their contests. Don’t forget this weekend is the retreat. W e’ve also got Tribe coming the week after that so everybody stay sane the terms almost over. o

n

This w eek’s article is devoted to all of our AW ESOME seniors! HAPPY SENIOR WEEK!! ....W e’re not worthy, w e’re not worthy!

Thanks to everyone who showed up at the work party last weekend. The pretty house looks much better now! All we have left to do is re­ locate our furry little friends in the basement!

SEN IO R S A R E AW ESOM E!!

H appy birth d ay s this w eek go out to Becky Kiluk (w ho turns 2 1 on W ednesday) and JEN SH AW (I m anaged to fill my quota!) on W ednesday! H appy birthday, you guys!!

Congratulations go out to the softball team (Mandy, y o u ’re an animal!) and the women’s LA-X team who had impressive victories last week. For those o f you who missed the exciting action at the games, here’s a recap: Kimmy Landry DID NOT get a yellow card. Moose finally found a baseball cap that actually FIT her head, everyone at the softball game against Holyoke would have froze if not for Mrs. Mandy, Jen Adams scored her 1,0(X) LA-X goal of the season, G ayle proved her coaching abilities as she tutored the other team’s player in Fundamen­ tals of LA-X 101, and ALL O F OUR AW E­ SOME SENIORS EXCELLED on the fields.

Q U A D FEST IS ONLY 8 DAYS A W A Y !!!

In the personals this w eek: D arlene, do you have to go to the bathroom too?! O r are you ju st looking for extra help in STR ESS? K ylie, stop having those fake M Q P m eetings! D ianna w atch out for those tree stumps! K rysten, dem erol is a good thing...som etim es! Laura, ready for m oshing, indoor rain storm s and the A capulco? R obyn, w hatever...random Harvard m en stalking us! Ann, close that window!

C ongratulations to A LL O F O U R A W E ­ SO M E SEN IO R S who got jobs! I t’s a scary thing to think th at you’re all going to be in charge soon. G ood luck to all o f you who are still looking for jobs!

Special hellos this w eek to T ricia (from Laura), Sue C row ley (from you little sis and Sue W az), M aria D ilanco (from your little sis), K athy M ckenna (hey...how ’d she get in here?!) from your big A ND little sis, and ALL O F O U R A W ESO M E SEN IO R S!!! W e’re all gonna m iss you guys next year! LITP

LAE

So,what a r e y O U wa'*'n6 f ° r?

1 -8 0 0 -K A P -T E S T

This w eek 1 w ould like to com m ent on the reasons w hy lam e white housers never put on happy hours. 1 w ill do it by room num bers. 1 .

Pudge put one on but it was a paper bag happy hour. Ray d o e sn ’t have tim e to m ake it back from R hode Island. C razy c a n ’t get over the birthday card from an old flam e. 2. Sasha is too busy w ashing his shirt (singular). Freddy, w ait does he live in the house? 3. L oaf spends too much time with personal hygiene. 4. Ian is too busy restoring the pinto. O O O ps I mean the m ustang. K oller is rum ored to be seeing the H obbit secretly at early m orning hours. 5.

Escott and M erry are cool. They know how to put on a happy hour. Yeah V odka and Sega are quite a com bo. 6 . H awley and B ecker have frequently bought booze for a happy hour but have som ehow drank it all by m istake. A lso they are usually too busy cleaning their room .

H awley w hen is liquid com ing for them tis­ sues? 7. Jelly fingers bellfatknee is awol. It is rum ored that he is trying to start a chapter at Babson. S pence is too dedicated to soccer and staying in shape to even think o f taking a drink.

8 . Coux often is absent because he responds to the sounds o f snapping fingers. 9. Phil has to

keep the books balanced. It is easy to be in the safe club but you can ’t hide a happy hour.

N orris is to busy pushing rope....... 10. W eenie put on a happy hour but le t’s face it he is far from cool. C utroni is too busy w atching the BUNS O F ST E E L video w ith L. I m ust add that pudge, escott, m erry, and w eenie did at­ tem pt a happy hour, but le t’s face it, it is just too hard to com pete w ith the brow n house...

Five Apples

in Storytim e...

G ood jo b w ith the w alkathon Steve. Extra special thanks go out to the tp f roving support team w ithout w hich those nine m iles w ould have seem ed like 20... Hey M alone, have another cigarette... “I ’m ju st gonna run to the next checkpoint...” Sure M ike.

Hey Beal, w h ere’d you learn to drive?

A drian!!!!!

Hey Elm er how was Fruit street the other night?

I need m ore stu ff in my bucket...

W ednesday night m arked kau the com ing o f age of another 21 year old... B irthday Boy needs a refill... First stop... D ave=5 beers, a cem ent m ixer, 3 wie men; Len=3 beers. Sec­ ond stop... D ave= l beer + tequila + 3 other unknow n/m isc.; Len=2 beers... Now w hat I w ant to know is how Len yakked first. “ Hey, keep an eye on B irthday B oy.” Hey M alone, w hat the heck w as in that drink? W ell... Dave got carried hom e so I guess it w as a good night.

H ogie! G ET IN TH E CAR!!!

Hello. My nam e is Fred and I am an alcohol­ ic.

Has anybody seen my C ure “ W ish” CD? Hey G ifford, look out because N ate saw a blue punch buggy about ten m inutes ago...

A nd people think that sped is slow... ...inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale...

The answ ers to the questions in last w eek ’s article in reference to Spree D ay are no, yes, no, he was still hurting too much from the night before, certainly not, e, yes he did, oh yes, frequently...

Tex you have a test tom orrow !!!

G et psyched up for the second annual G reat D ate Sw ap II. W ith that and C lam bake to look forw ard to we will have no brain cells left except for little Brad w ho keeps us from hold­ ing the record...

See you next T uesday!!!

TKE O kay, here it is. W e ju st got done shoving R aab i’s head in a toilet... you shouldn’t throw w ater balloons at your ow n brothers, liver lips!

You needed to w ash your hair anyhow .

People that puke on M onday nites are great.

“I ’m gonna punch you. G et back in that bathroom , or so help m e I am gonna punch yo u !” N ice jo b house m anager boy.

A Team soccer was victorious once again w ith a nice victory. W e w on the cheese. A long the lines o f Soccer, I am officially retiring from B team D eath Squad. The crazy C SA has avenged N obuhiko’s nam e and destroyed me in the process.

A and B team hockey has gam es next w eek, reports com ing soon. The Sew ers have com e and gone by now look for a full run dow n next w eek. Until then, destroy all those w ho suck at basketball. Popeye lives to fight another day.

M anum e!

OX B W G W N B ...this is gonna be short because it’s a hell o f a day out and I d o n ’t want to spend it gw eeping. N ot to m ention the fact that our neighbors ju st put up a challenge on the court and w hile we m ay have the age advantage, they crash the boards like no one on earth, coincidence, I think not. A nyw ay, the entire Ateam floor hockey w as ju st drafted as an ex ­ pansion squad for the N H L the other day, after shutting out yet another hapless victim in their quest for perfection. Predictions for the roast: D ’anna, o f course, show s up with a pig on a spit; a fire is acidentally set while roasting Sw ank and the new roof goes up in flam es; Lom bard goes into a com a but no one pays any attention because everyone ju s t thinks h e ’s doing his Pineo im pression. A new com m ittee was form ed recently for getting rid o f the bathroom s in order to add m ore room s to the house. C om m itee m em bers Lom bard, B owie, G ross, M enard, D owney, M onteiro, D orm an, and Buddy feel that if you really need to go, ju st do it w herever the feeling hits you. They were actors in the m ovie and it was a crow d o f fans. T w o riddles this w eek: “ A man w alks into a bar and asks for a glass o f w ater, the bartend­ e r pulls out a shotgun and points it at the m an ’s head, the m an says thank you and w alks aw ay”, “ W h at’s big, holds liquid, and is soon to adorn a shelf near you for the next four years” ...p.s.a. g et a sen io r loaded before th e y ’re gone, vam pination

Page 10

NEWSPEAK

Tuesday April 19,1994

4 thAnnual Newspeak Reader’s Poll 1. Best Pizza Place 2. Favorite DAKA Employee 3. Best Radio Station 4. Favorite Administrator 5. Best World Leader 6. Best Snow Activity___________ 7. Favorite Feature of the Mailroom 8. Most Mangled Way of Saying Worcester 9. Favorite Movie Quote_______________ 10. Best Way to Scare Your Roommate 11. Best Euphemism for Vomiting____ 12. Best Cartoon (TV)_____________ 13. Most Overused Phrase__________ 14. Favorite SGA Senator 15. Something You Want to See on Campus 16. Favorite Day Off During the School Year 17. Best Feature of Newspeak____________ 18. Worst Feature of Newspeak___________ 19. Favorite Procrastination Activity_______ 20. Funnier Word than “Onomatopoeia” ____ 21. Best Way to Avoid Waking up Early____ 22. Favorite Lecture Hall 23. (Your Topic Here) 24. Best Vendor in the Wedge.

Polls must be turned in by T h u rsd ay , A pril 21 at 5pm . They can be dropped in the Newspeak mail slot in the basement of Riley Hall or in campus mail. Box 2700.

Identical, or nearly identical, entries will not be counted. Results April 26.

NEWSPEAK

Tuesday April 19,1994

Page 11

CLASSIFIEDS Furnished room for rent o ff Salisbury & Park Ave. U tilities and laundry facilities included.

O ff street parking. N on-sm okers only. $255 per month. D eposit required. Call 757-6814.

APARTM ENT: L arge4-5 Bedrooms. Avail­ able May 25th for one year. Short walk to campus. Secure, well maintained building. New kitchen and bath, laundry, parking, partially furnished. Call 792-0049.

A RT M USEUM & ELM AREA: Im m acu­ late M anhattan style studios & one BR. Safe, Secure, Q uiet, Laundry Room, Heated, from $375. Small deposit. Special rates for graduate students. Call 755-2032.

Newly renovated one BR. New windows, new wall to wall carpets. Ten m inute walk to cam pus. O ff-street parking. Appliances recent.

Clean, safe and secure. $ 400/m o, flexible lease.

CALL Alex at 852-6623.

TRA V EL ABRO AD & W O R K !- Make up to $2,000-$4,(XX)+ per month teaching basic con­ versational English abroad. Japan, Taiw an, and S. Korea. M any em ployers provide room & board + other benefits. No teaching background or Asian languages required! For more informa­ tion call: (206) 632-1146 ext. J5 0 1 1

Sum m er Apartm ent for Sublet. Three bed ­ room, kitchen, living room. Paid utilities. 3 persons at $233 each per month. Call Patrick at 791-1285.

Hey Toph, h o w ’s the knees?

C athy’s our RA next year! Yeah!

V ote for UM OC. Tuesday through Friday from 10am to 4pm in the mailroom.

Phi Sigma Sigm a loves Erin Larson

Newspeak will run classifieds free lor all WPI students, faculty, and staff. Free classifieds are limited to six (6) lines. Ads of a commercial nature and ads longer than six lines must be paid for at the off campus/commercial rate of $5 00 for the first six lines and 50 cents per additional line.

Classified ads must be paid for in advance.

No information which, in the opinion of the Newspeak editors, would identify an individual to the community will be printed in a personal ad. The editors reserve the right to refuse any ad deemed to be in bad taste or many ads from one group or individual on one subject.

The deadline for ads is noon on the Friday before publication.

All classified ads must be on individual sheets of paper and must be accompanied by the writer's name, address and phone number.

Name

Phone

Address

Total Enclosed $

Allow only 30 characters per line

O h, herm ana regina — Senya H iscox — W E ’R EN O TW O R TH Y !! W E ’R E N O T W O R THY!! Phi Sigm a Sigma loves their Seniors!

LITP. Oh Julie D riscoll, we love and w e ’ll miss you.

Hey Cookie! W hat will the football team do w ithout you? Fifty guys and one girl watching a movie?

T ra cy T racy A d am sk i. B an an a -fa n n y mom any Fce-Fi Bo-Banski. TRACY! Sm ile, Jen Charland, as you wear that beau­ tiful crown.

U M O C is here... UM OC is here...

Single F am ily H ouse. 2 Blocks from school.

7 room s. 3 or 4 BR. W all to wall carpeting.

A ppliances. O ff-street parking. A vailable May 1st. $750/m o plus utilities. Call Gary @ 8310547.

A L A SK A SU M M E R E M P L O Y M E N T Eam up to $8,000+ in tw o months. Room and board! Transportation! Male or Female. No experience necessary. C all (206)545-4155 ext A5011 L ooking for a quiet, secure apartm ent? 6 room & 5 room , 2,3,4 bedroom s, appliances, parking, some as low as $150 per person a month. One bedroom single $300+. Fully Insu­ lated House- some with alarm, electric beds, photoelectric outsides lights, etc NOW! Edie 799-2728, 842-1583.

Furnished room s in house with other stu­ dents. On Fruit St. at Highland. Private bed­ room, shared bath, kitchen, living room. Begins June for 1 year or mid August for nine months.

U tilities included, parking, laundry. $225-S275 per m onth. Call 792-0049.

C R U ISE SHIPS NOW HIRING- Earn up to $2,000+/m onth working on C ruise Ships or Land-T our companies. W orld travel. Summer & Full-Tim e em ploym ent available. No expe­ rience necessary. For more information call I206-634-0468 ext. C5011.

Big Y-vonne Bergstrom: W e’ll miss you!

Just think - m aybe now you can be a FULL-time resident o f Boston!

Best o f luck to our favorite senior, Danielle Luongo (Beam er). Y ou’re the best! -Jess, LJ, and Amy FO UN D: Jacket in Stratton Hall. Call the Math Dept. O ffice at ext. 5316 to identify.

Joe M anley., you’re my hero. You can carry me hom e any time.

T w o large furnished room s available for rent on 66 Fruit St. Just a 3 m inute walk from cam pus. M ajor appliances, laundry facilities.

Call 798-4743 C h ristie, K risty, K ristie, C h risti, K risti, Chrystie, Chrysty, C hrysti, Krysty....W e love you Christy Hinkley!!!

Erin, you’re the best big sister! I’m glad I'm follow ing in the family tradition.

Phi Sig Sig loves Christie Jones. S he’s the best!!! Good luck!

W ait until *TH E* day, Jen Charland, Just you wait!

TRACY ADAM SKI U R Da BESTest!

W e love you Jenn Shiel oh yes w e do. We love you Jenn Shiel and w e’ll be true. W hen you’re not near us w e’re blue. Oh Jenn Shiel we love you. LITP, PSS NEW VOICES 12!!! 15 plays over 4 days on 1 stage, for FREE! W ednesday through S atur­ day. Stop by A lden and check it out!

W arren, we lust after you! -PPC T here once w as a girl named G ayle W ho had a bright red ponytail.

Ms. Sanders w as distrought For here, Burrit was not But, ohh, rem em ber that H-CAP bathroom tale!

You just have to find the right sucking fre­ quency!

Experienced psychic needed! The right per­ son fo r the job will know who to call.

Lost. Pair o f Black Ray-Ban Sunglasses.

Prescription lenses. Cash Reward. Contact Doug at Box 2802 or em ail wright@ wpi.

D iane Elderd, W e’re not worthy!

Jen Shiel! W e love you dearly!

W ANTED: Apartm ent to sublet for the sum ­ mer. I BR Apt preferred. Pets Ok. Call Jen after 6 pm 842-1239.

Alpha G am m a Delta... the beginning that never ends.

G ood Luck, Seniors! AGD loves you!

Darbim, get lost near your house often ?

Christine, T hank you for being such a great president and sister.

Vibrating Holiday Toys left to whom?

Look up! It a sky writing plane! No - it’s a banner. DUH! Lexie, how ’s that hair, you almost lit Higgins Labs on fire!

Beware of Filgate. S he’s a FIRESTARTER! Vodka? NO - its Red, Buff, & Green jello!

Friday, April 1st 2:38am - Theft: O fficer reports advertising sign rem oved from West St. foot bridge within the past half hour.

4:19am - Stolen m otor vehicle: report o f possible stolen vehicle on Elbridge St., WPD advised for jurisdiction.

2:19pm - Report o f non-student playing with equipm ent in H arrington.

10:03pm - M edical: Ankle injury. Subject refused transport. EMS will wrap ankle.

Saturday, April 2nd 12:01am - Fire Alarm: Hackfeld Road. O fficers respond. W orcester Fire D epartm ent notified.

1:04am - Plum bing problems: Schussler Road. O fficers respond.

1:13am - Suspicious person: Institute Road near Morgan. O fficer responds.

1:36am - Suspicious person: West St. near G oddard, possible subject in com m ercial breaking and entering at G rove St. O fficers respond.

1:58am - D isorderly persons: Institute Road rear of Morgan. O fficers respond.

2:02am - Suspicious person: Near Goddard. Subject placed under arrest.

2:43pm - Report of several non-students in gym. O fficer responds.

Sunday, April 3rd 12:34am - Possible assault and battery: O fficer reports follow ing a car from intersection of Sever and Highland St. O ccupants possibly involved in assault and battery at location. WPD notified.

Emergency A mbulance dispatched to scene.

12:36am - O fficer reports subject with severe head trauma at Sever and Highland Sts. 12:40am - O fficer reports that W PD has vehicle stopped at M ain and C handler Sts. out at scene.

12:47am - A ssault and Battery: O fficer out with second assault and battery victim at intersection o f Sever and Hampden Sts. involved with above incident. W PD notified.

10:43am - Transport: O fficer to H annemann Hospital with student with sore throat.

11:42am - Intrusion alarm: Bookstore, set off by wind. O fficer responds.

12:11pm - Transport: H annemann Hospital to campus.

12:49pm - Student called to report his car was broken into on Dean St. Advised to call WPD. 5:34pm - M edical emergency: Possible fracture, EMS and officers respond.

7:01pm - Escort: Stoddard Complex to H annemann.

M onday, April 4th 12:27am - A ttem pt to locate Mass A cadem y student who has not returned hom e. Had been working in Fuller Labs. O fficer responds.

1:00am - Subject has returned home.

1:25am - M edical response: Morgan 1st floor fem ale with syncopal episodes. O fficers and EMS respond.

1:28am - O fficer requests emergency am bulance for subject in Morgan. W orcester Ambulance notified.

1:40am - O fficers and EM S clear Morgan. Subject transported to Hannemann via Ambulance.

2:59am - Possible m alicious mischief: O fficer at fraternity house regarding possible malicious m ischief occurring on Dean St. 9: H am - C om plaint from resident on Institute about trash from fraternity on her lawn.

10:15am - O fficer with runaw ay, W PD broadcasts out for, W PD notified that WPI has student.

11:22am - M edical from G om pei’s. Male with cut on hand. O fficer responds 11:24am - EMS responds to call at G om pei’s.

1:10pm - Resident o f Schussler Road called for theft of cans worth $3.00.

3:29pm - Theft: Chem. Eng. Dept., officer called. O fficer responds.

5:24pm - Trespassing: T w o non students asked to leave Harrington. O fficer responds.

5:41pm - Intrusion Alarm: Drury Lane. O fficers respond.

5:46pm - Alarm accidentally set off by resident. Everything is OK. 8:51pm - M edical Assist: Student in Stoddard with sprained ankle. O fficer and EMS respond.

8:58pm - O fficer transports student to Hannemann.

9:22pm - Student assaulted on Highland St. W PD notified. Student transported to Hannemann.

11:44pm - O fficer reports large WPI sign m issing from com er o f Boynton St. and Institute Road.

Teeter-Totter-A -Thon has arrived!

I’m looking for a strong, m uscular man w ho’s not hairy and can rem em ber whether or not h e’s given me an “ I love you" bracelet. I’m always looking for a good time - Call Jen W. G o to the Earthday Cleanup at Institute Park - 10am to 2pm on Saturday.

T his m eans YOU, Dave!

PHI SIG SIG LOVES LAURA ROY. She may be small and tiny And her voice is som etimes winey But her smile is always shiny And we love her all the timey BEST O F LUCK LAURA!

Dr. Seuss rules!

Hey, TKE, “ Y o u ’ve Lost That Lovin' Feel­ ing Captain O ’ Captain T.A. we w on’t be the sam e without you. Good luck on your presen­ tation.

Phi Sig Sig loves Amy Knapp. S h e’s nice!

Phi Sigma Sigm a thinks Lili Lau is the ....urn.....the greatest! Well, at least your tennis partner, your little sister, and swim team friends do!

T u esd ay , A p ril 5th 12: l()pm - O fficer advises audible alarm sounding on Lincoln St. W PD notified.

1:58am - Possible breaking and entering in progress. Einhom . Resident reports noises within house. W PD notified. O fficer responds.

2:09am - O fficer clears Einhom . Prem ises checked and OK. 11:52pm - M alicious Mischief: SNaP report C hevy Blazer parked on Boynton with tw o broken windows. O w ner contacted. WPD notified. O fficers respond.

W ednesday, April 6th 12:40am - C heck on welfare: Intoxicated person in Stoddard. O fficer responds.

1:01am - M edical response. Stoddard. RA reports intoxicated individuals. O fficer and EMS respond.

3:15am - Suspicious persons: Q uad area. O fficer responds.

2:42pm - Fire Alarm : Ellsworth Apts., set off due to cooking.

5:00pm - Assist: U nauthorized student in Harrington officer responds.

9:22pm - Suspicious person: Ellsworth resident reports suspicious person going through trash.

10:59pm - M edical response: Alumni Field. Twisted ankle. EMS and O fficer respond.

NEWSPEAK

Page 12

Tuesday April 19,1994

V o ic e s 12 cWfccfnescfa\\ A p rx^20 7:00 pm o)Tiurscfay Apr^ 2 1 through gaturrfay, ^Vprif 23 4:30 pm and 7:00 pm en ^V^moriaf (Haff

fa//vat's Tuesday, April 19th 4:30pm to 5:45pm - Entrepreneur’s Collaborative, Seminar: Howard G . Freeman '40, Founder a n d C E O o f N eles-Jam esbury, and investor in Protein Engineering, G ordon Library A rchives Room.

7:30pm - Film: “The Piano,” Clark University, Jefferson A cadem ic Center. $4.50.

W ednesday, April 20th START O F SPRING WEEK 6:00pm - Venture Forum: "Protecting Proprietary Inform ation,” Jon Radoff.

7:00pm - New V oices. Alden Hall. Free.

7:30pm - Comedy: “Snickers Com edy C lub”, W orcester State College, Student C enter. A udito­ rium. $ 1.

7:30pm - Perform ance: “Shape Note M usic,” A m erican A ntiquarian Society. Free.

Thursday, April 21th PROJECT PRESENTATION DAY - NO CLASSES CAM PUS HEARING BOARD PETITIONS DUE N E W S P E A K READER'S POLLS DUE 4:30 to 6:00pm - New Voices. Alden Hall. Free.

7:00 to 9:30pm - New Voices. Alden Hall. Free.

8:00pm - Play: “ B him a's Journey,” Holy Cross, Fenwick Theater.

Friday, April 22nd Payments Due for Senior Yard Sale (Box 2516).

4:30 to 6:00pm - New Voices. Alden Hall. Free.

7:00 to 9:30pm - New Voices. Alden Hall. Free.

7:00pm and 9:00pm - Film: "T he W edding Banquet," Clark U niversity, Jefferson 218, $5.00.

Saturday, April 23rd 9 : 15am - Special Olympics, H arrington Auditorium.

10:00am to 2:(K)pm - Earth Day Institute Park Clean-up.

Noon to 5:00pm - Blackstone Heritage Celebration, Institute Park.

4:30 to 6:00pm - New Voices. Alden Hall. Free.

7:00 to 9:30pm - New Voices. Alden Hall. Free.

Sunday, April 24th 9:15am - Special Olympics, H arrington Auditorium.

Noon - 4:00pni - Earth Day C elebration, Institute Park.

6:30pm and 9:30pm - Film: “ Pelican Brief,” Perreault Hall, $2.

M onday, April 25th 2:30pm to 3:30pm - Presentation: A Celebration o f Toni M orrison, w inner o f the 1993 Nobel Prize for Literature, featuring a program of readings and discussions by Everett G oodwin, poet, playwright and literary critic. Fuller Labs 230, Free.

7:(X)pm and 9:00pm - Film: “A m erican G raffiti," Holy Cross H ogan Cam pus C enter, Room 502.

8:00pm - Musician: Sonia Frank, G om pei’s. $ i/$ 3 .

ZAMARRO APARTMENTS 21 INSTITUTE ROAD WORCESTER, MA APARTMENTS APARTMENTS APARTMENTS DON’T WAIT! WON’T LAST!

► Walking distance from WPI • Clean: Studios, 1, 2, 3 bedroom units »Gorgeous Victorian Buildings ► Locations: 21 Institute Road 15 Dean Street 10, 14, 45 Lancaster Street 59 Dover Street 88 Elm Street 17 Elbridge Street 18 Trowbridge Road

• Starting Rent $325 and up • Applianced kitchens, tiled baths • Only 5 Apartments left • Occupancy June 1, 1994 Call today for an appointment

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