Talking to your professor when you are nervous

Faculty Column

BY TONYA RICKLEFS

Close your eyes and picture yourself scheduling an appointment with your professor. Does this imagination make you nervous? Students will likely have a reason to set up an appointment with a professor outside of advising at some point during their college career. Maybe you got a grade that you didn’t agree with and you want to talk about it. Perhaps you have to go out of town and miss a week of classes. Maybe you want to discuss a long-term health issue, or you simply find yourself completely confused by the class material.

Regardless of the reason, students often find themselves in a few different categories of how they approach the need to meet their professors. Some students may not schedule that inperson appointment, instead trying to manage everything through email. Some may schedule an in-person conversation and never come in due to nerves.

Other students may find themselves making a huge, prepared argument if they anticipate their professor disliking them on any level. They come into the appointment so sure that they are right and end up talking at the professor instead of explaining why they are there and listening to advice. Here are some basic conflict resolution skills that you can utilize to more effectively problem solve with your professor should the need ever arise.

When you reach out to contact your professor for an appointment, you can plan out the email or phone call. Make sure to address the professor by their title and stay focused asking for an appointment and explain briefly what the topic is. If you get nervous making requests like this, you can write it out and review it before you hit send or send it to yourself to review later. Even though most professors have office hours, it’s worth it to send an email and schedule an appointment in advance so they are prepared as well for what the conversation will be focused on.

Quick Tips

• Schedule appointments as soon as issues arise

• Be honest, direct, clear about who you are and why you want to meet

• Use the correct title when addressing faculty

• Write or type out what you need to address

• Be prepared to offer your own solutions

• Ask for clarifications or explanations

• Be respectful and listen

• Remember that faculty want to help you succeed

Once the appointment is scheduled, you should begin to plan out your conversation with the professor. Make sure that you focus on the specific topic you are wanting to approach. Don’t anticipate that any conversation with them will be difficult. If you assume what someone else’s reactions are going to be, then you may have already prepared an argument when you do not need one. You also may make yourself nervous about a conversation and make it harder to communicate your message.

Before you go to the meeting, brainstorm some possible solutions for the issue. If you know you are going to miss a few classes, maybe you can suggest turning in some assignments early. If you have missed some assignments, can you catch up and set a timeline with your professor to help keep yourself focused and accountable. While brainstorming some solutions to any issue that you might be facing, remember to be flexible and willing to negotiate or accept the decision of the professor.

When you arrive and begin to discuss why you are there, remember that if there is anything that you disagree with, your best course of action is getting curious about their point of view. Instead of jumping to negative conclusions, consider asking if they can further explain their rationale or point of view. Being open to continuing the conversation increases the chances of mutual understanding on both sides. If you feel there is a chance that you may become frustrated or quiet in the conversation, you can prepare in advance some of those questions you might like to ask. For example, questions like, “Can you explain to me more about that?” or “I would like to know a bit more about that decision”. It is easier to be comfortable to ask questions if you plan ahead what you will say.

Deciding to meet with your professor when you have an issue is a huge step in making your academic career more successful.

Professional conversations often have some form of conflict or problem solving as part of it. Learning how to be comfortable with approaching someone with a thought out, prepared, and focused conversation will assist you in not just solving academic issues, but you will also be prepared for future difficult conversations that you may have at work. Managing how you handle conflict should become a lifetime skill that you continue to practice.

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