Published by Xenophobe’s® Guides. Telephone: +44 (0)20 7733 8585 E-mail: info@xenophobes.com Web site: www.xenophobes.com Copyright © Xenophobe’s® Guides Ltd., 2013 All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Xenophobe’s® is a Registered Trademark. First printed 1994 New editions 1999, 2008, 2012 Updated/reprinted 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2008 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016 Editor – Catriona Tulloch Scott Series Editor – Anne Tauté Cover designer – Vicki Towers
Cover – Dancer in Traditional Welsh Costume © Liquid Light/Alamy; Daffodils © Snowbelle/ Shutterstock
ePub ISBN: 9781908120939 Mobi ISBN: 9781908120946 Print ISBN: 9781906042516
Contents Nationalism & Identity
1
Behaviour
9
Manners
17
Character
20
Obsessions
27
Beliefs & Values
29
Leisure & Pleasure
40
Culture
49
Custom & Tradition
55
Health & Hygiene
62
Business
65
Systems
69
Crime & Punishment
72
Government & Bureaucracy
73
Conversation & Gestures
79
Language
81
‘Rugby gives a tiny, impoverished nation the opportunity to beat another with more than ten times the population…’ The population of the Welsh is just over 3 million, compared with 5 million Irish, 5 million Scots, 47 million Spanish, 54 million English, 66 million French, 81 million Germans and around 321 million Americans. Wales is larger than Israel, half the size of Denmark, and could fit into England nearly six times.
Nationalism & Identity
Forewarned
Some people like to boast that their nation is in some way superior to other nations. The Welsh are generally immune from that unpleasant habit. This absence of boasting has led some outsiders to assume that the Welsh have a national inferiority complex. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. To Welshmen, the To Welshmen, the benebenefits of the wonderful fits of the wonderful gifts gifts of Welshness are so of Welshness are so obvious obvious that there is no need that there is no need to to boast about them. boast about them. Like true aristocrats the world over, they take the advantages of their birth so much for granted that going around telling others how superior they are would be pointless, and rather bad form. After all, the Welshman’s world is made up of two types of people, and two types only: fellow Welshmen (who understand already) and the rest (whose opinions on the subject do not count). This degree of national pride might be surprising in a poor, conquered and exploited people, squatting on a small piece of harsh and intemperate land on the far edge of Europe – a land which is (greatest of insults) often mistaken for part of England.
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One might well ask what the Welsh have to feel proud about. A Welshman could point out, in response, that the Welsh enjoyed one of the oldest and richest cultures in the world when the English were still illiterate barbarians (which was, according to most Welsh historians, not very long ago); that Wales was the cradle of British Welsh pride is Christianity when England was a real pride – the sort of pagan wilderness (also not very mindless, instinctive, long ago), and that the Welsh animal pride that enjoyed the reputation of being requires no justification among the fiercest fighters in or excuse. Europe when the English were already weakened by soft living (about this morning). But none of that really explains Welsh pride. This is because Welsh pride is real pride – the sort of mindless, instinctive, animal pride that requires no justification or excuse. It is simply pride for the sake of pride. Such pride is the only thing one has left when one has been stripped of everything else. It is no doubt significant that this sort of pride is common to a number of impoverished and embattled hill peoples in different parts of the world – the Corsicans, the Afghans, and the Apache to name a few – and it is surely not coincidental that all of them have reputations for clannishness, deviousness, love of violence and vendetta.
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Nationalism & Identity
How they would like others to see them
The Welsh simply could not care less what other people think of them. Among themselves, they not only think and believe that to be Welsh represents the highest form of human achievement – they know it.
How they see others
Of the home nations, the Irish and the Scots are tolerated as fellow Celts. In fact, there is considerable affection for the genial, talkative, emotional Irish, who have more in common with the Welsh and who settled in Wales in large numbers, mainly as a result of 19th-century industrialisation. There is also an historic link with south west Scotland which was once a Welsh Kingdom. The Welsh view the The Scots national hero outside world in terms of (a) William Wallace came from rugby or (b) blood relationthis area – his surname ship to themselves – there meaning ‘Welshman’. frequently being a link In so far as they pay any between the two. attention at all to the outside world, the Welsh view it in terms of either (a) rugby or (b) blood relationship to themselves – there frequently being a link between the two. Many Welsh people emigrated to the New World, especially to North America, Australia and New Zealand. Australians and New Zealanders are generally liked
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because of their understanding of the true value of sheep and their skill at rugby. The professionalism of the game means that many play in, or even for, Wales. When Wales were defeated by Ireland, the Welsh were duly upset that ‘their New Zealanders beat our New Zealanders’. In the context of rugby, the phrase ‘Hard bunch of bastards’ is by no In the context of means derogatory. rugby, the phrase ‘Hard Rugby apart, the Welsh seem bunch of bastards’ is by only dimly aware of the exisno means derogatory. tence of the rest of the planet. There is, however, a notable exception. If the English did not exist, the Welsh would have to invent them. To a very great extent, the Welsh define their national identity in terms of the English:
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‘The English are X, so we are not.’ ‘The English like Y, so we do not.’ ‘The English dislike Z, so we absolutely love him/her/it.’ Some people say that the Welsh have a love-hate relationship with the English but they are, in fact, 100% wrong. For a start, there is precious little love involved. Yet hate is also conspicuous by its absence which is surprising, given that the English conquered the country through treachery, killed its last native ruler in a particularly nasty manner, and, over a period of several hundred years, comprehensively looted 4
Nationalism & Identity
its natural resources. The Welsh attitude to the English may be more accurately summed up as 10% resentment and 90% pity. The resentment is not personal – it is a standard Welsh reaction to anyone who is, for any reason, better off (a Welshman will never The Welsh attitude accept that anyone can succeed to the English may where he fails without having be summed up as some dishonest advantage). The 10% resentment and pity is also a standard Welsh 90% pity. reaction, in this case for anyone who has the incredible misfortune not to be Welsh. The Welsh feel sorry for the English in the same way that a social worker would make excuses for a criminal from a broken home: ‘True, they did break into our country and steal everything they could get their hands on, but the poor things are English, after all.’ No doubt the English would be upset to find out how much the Welsh look down on them – which wouldn’t worry the Welsh at all. If the butt of a Welsh joke has to be effete, callow, pompous, ignorant, or generally substandard in any way, nine times out of ten he will be an Englishman, for example: First Welshman: Excuse me, but you look like an Englishman. Second Welshman: No, I’m not English – I only look like this because I’ve just been sick.
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Nationalism & Identity
The Welsh versus the Welsh
When they are not having a go at the English, the Welsh are having a go at each other. For instance, in jokes about misers, the customary Scotsman is often replaced by the ‘Cardi’ – the inhabitant of Cardiganshire, a poor rural area where everyone is supposed to be mean. Similarly, there is a tendency for the more cosmopolitan Welsh of the South Wales coastal strip to mock the people of the When they are not having Valleys for a supposed lack a go at the English, the of sophistication, and the Welsh are having a go people of the Valleys, in at each other. their turn, to mock the rural Welsh in the same way; this despite, or perhaps because of, the fact that most of the cosmopolitan Welsh originally came from the Valleys, and the Valley Welsh from the country, and not so very long ago. Such mockery is reflected in jokes about coal storage in bathrooms, outdoor plumbing, and the abuse of farm animals, especially sheep. And all this in the single region of South Wales. The different regions of Wales could almost be different nations. The North West, for example, is the most inaccessible part of Wales and so was the last bit to be conquered. Its people are most likely to be Welsh-speaking and nationalist. On the other hand, certain areas in the South are almost indistinguishable
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from England (Monmouthshire is actually shown as part of England on some old maps, and Pembrokeshire was known as ‘Little England Beyond Wales’). There are lots of minor local variations, but the biggest contrast is between North and South. In general, North Walians and South Walians get on like a house on fire, the house The North Walians in question having been bought and South Walians tend by a South Walian and set on to each see the other as fire by a North Walian. Each a bunch of uncultured tends to see the other as a primitives with silly bunch of uncultured primitives accents. with silly accents, the difference in dialect between North and South Wales being as distinct as that between London and Newcastle, or Alabama and New England. Needless to say, people from Mid and West Wales look down on both. The truth is that the Welshman is only happy when he is part of an ‘Us’ having a go at ‘Them’. It really doesn’t matter which Us and which Them. Indeed, Us and Them can vary enormously according to context. It can be Wales against the world (or at least against England), one Welsh region against another, one district against another in the same region, one valley against the next, one village against the one down the valley, one local rugby club
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or pub darts team against its nearest rival, one street against the one running parallel to it, even one branch of the same family against another. Two Welshmen who might be rivals in one context might be on the same side in another. For example, they may be fierce partisans Welshmen will put of different rugby clubs but aside rivalries and close will cheer together when ranks in a most impressive Wales play England, or their manner when faced with villages may have an antipaa hostile outsider. thy towards one another that goes back centuries but will unite if it means getting one over those so-and-sos in the next valley. Welshmen will put aside rivalries (temporarily at least) and close ranks in a most impressive manner when faced with a hostile outsider – but not always, for the tragedy of Wales is that the worst quarrels are often with those nearest at hand. Wales was finally conquered because the last real Welsh prince had a dispute over land with some Welsh lords who joined with the English in the final campaign against him. They had forgotten that the whole point in having minor rivalries is to keep one’s hand in when there are no outsiders around with whom one can have a major conflict. A well-meaning English politician suggested that the Welsh, like the Scots and the Irish, were victims of English ‘aggression’. Rubbish. The Welsh are primarily
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victims of Welsh aggression. The English were clever enough to let them get on with it. The reaction of a Welshman to anyone who happens to be ‘One of Us’ or ‘One of Them’ at any particular moment is always ‘One of Us’ can expect extreme. One of Us can to enjoy every token of expect to enjoy every token friendship, hospitality and of friendship, hospitality and support, but ‘One of Them’ support, even if it involves a can expect no quarter. considerable degree of selfsacrifice on the part of the Welshman (he will treat a perfect stranger like a long-lost brother) but One of Them can expect no quarter. When dealing with a Welshman it is therefore essential to establish One of Us status as swiftly as possible – and this is best done by finding some third party you dislike in common.
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Behaviour How a Welshman behaves towards you will depend on whether or not you belong to any of the groups with whom he is in conflict at that moment. If you happen to be in one such proscribed group, be prepared for anything up to and including single combat. Some feuds are provisionally scheduled to last until the Day of Judgement, but others can be temporarily 9
Behaviour
put aside in the interests of pursuing a common feud of greater importance. You can get away with being English when the British Lions are playing, or when the Welsh have just beaten the English at Cardiff Arms Park, at which point your Welshman will, in fact, become revoltingly affable. The Welsh are In general, unless you are prepared, at very short foolish enough to admit that notice, to talk to anyone you belong to one of those as if he were their oldest unfortunate groups, the Welsh and dearest friend. are predisposed to be friendly. Indeed, they can be very friendly, sometimes to the point of over-familiarity. Welsh travellers find it hard to comprehend places like the London Underground where people stare with almost frantic intensity at a point between their own feet or over a strange shoulder rather than run the risk of eye-contact. In Wales, people routinely start talking with perfect strangers – on the bus, on the train, in the pub, even in the street – and not just about the weather. You can end up hearing the life story, complete with intimate emotional details, of someone you met ten minutes earlier. There is very little reserve: the Welsh are a nation of compulsive gossips, and they enjoy talking about themselves. Any pretensions to social superiority will be cheerfully ignored. The Welsh are prepared, at very short notice, to talk to anyone as if he were their
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oldest and dearest friend, and they expect similar familiarity in return.
Elders
A partial exception is made in the case of senior citizens. The Welsh have a traditional respect for the idea of the village or chapel elder, and many Welsh people acquire with age the sort of dignity and gravity that would not be out of place in Many Welsh people a High Court Judge. acquire with age the sort of When talking to such dignity and gravity that people, it would be wise – would not be out of place in and indeed quite natural – to a High Court Judge. be as polite and as formal as possible. The response will probably be the usual Welsh one of extreme familiarity, after which you will be expected to be more familiar yourself, but the gesture of respect for age will have been noted and appreciated. When a dignified Welsh elder does descend into familiarity, as likely as not he or she will probably enjoy shocking you with stories which prove that beneath many a dignified old age lies a wild and turbulent youth. Indeed many of the most dignified were the most turbulent – and sometimes one catches a glint in the eye which makes one doubt if they have ever really reformed.
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Children
Children, of course, are expected to run wild, and they usually oblige. The Welsh are perhaps more tolerant than most other Britons: they like children, and can be very indulgent, possibly because there is a touch of the Peter Pan about most Welsh men and women. Yet there are formal They like children, and occasions – church or chapel, can be very indulgent, big family get-togethers, etc., possibly because there is when children are brought a touch of the Peter Pan out in their best and expected about most Welsh to behave with the sort of men and women. discipline that would do credit to the Welsh Guards – and woe betide the child whose behaviour disgraces its family in public. However, when all is said and done, the Welsh have never been that big on maturity.
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Pets
The Welsh are generally less sentimental about pets than the English. There are some who are extremely fond of animals, but that fondness has a utilitarian streak. Animals may be loved but they must still earn their keep: dogs must work sheep or stand guard, cats must catch mice, horses and pigeons must win races, and, as for sheep, well, the less said the better.
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Eccentrics
The Welsh are prepared to accept most people (unless in dispute with them) and most forms of behaviour (within certain limits). So they are generally fond of eccentrics, having quite a few home-grown ones of their own, as well as the The Welsh are generally English kind who give up fond of eccentrics, having everything to go and live in a quite a few home-grown caravan in one of the less ones of their own. accessible parts of Mid Wales. They are even fond of lunatics so long as they do not offend any common prejudices. For Welsh people, the unforgivable eccentricity is to be successful. A poor eccentric will be the subject of sympathy and amused indulgence, but a rich one will be resented.
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Outsiders
Although outwardly friendly to strangers in general, the Welsh are inwardly wary of Outsiders (i.e., everyone but blood kin), but, given time, their natural hospitality and familiarity will come to the fore, so most are relatively tolerant towards tourists and immigrants. Indeed, the expansion of industry in South Wales in the 19th century attracted so many workers from outside Wales that the claims of many Welsh people 13
Behaviour
to be Welsh do not bear close examination, so racial tolerance is a necessity. Wales boasts some of the oldest coloured communities in Britain, many of whose members consider themselves, and are generally considered to be, as Welsh as anyone. The classic Welsh answer to discrimination by colour was given in the film Proud Valley. Wales is run by a secret When a man objected to and sophisticated elite, working with a black miner, the extent of whose power played by the great Paul is carefully hidden. Robeson, it was pointed out to him that, at the end of the shift, Robeson’s face would be no blacker than his own. Of course, Robeson’s integration was helped by the fact that the man sang like an angel. Yet no perusal of the behaviour of the Welsh could be complete without a consideration of a Welshman’s relationship with the force that controls his life:
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Wales’ best kept secret
Wales is run by a secret and sophisticated elite, the extent of whose power is carefully hidden. Wales is, in fact, run entirely by women. This will seem strange to an outsider since all the most important organizations in Wales – pubs, clubs, the Welsh Rugby Union, choirs, and, last and definitely least, the nominal government – appear to be domi14
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nated by men, but that only proves how clever the real rulers of Wales have been in concealing their absolute authority. In reality, male domination of all those organizations means nothing because they are all simply a means of keeping the inferior sex occupied while the superior gets on with the The Welshman comes serious business of running home from the club, and everything. has to face a strong, sober Consider this: the Welshwoman who knows exactly man comes home from the what she wants. The poor club, his mind dulled by man has no chance. constant blows inflicted on him on the rugby pitch and by a few medicinal pints in the bar afterwards, and has to face a strong, sober woman who knows exactly what she wants. The poor man has no chance. Welsh women are truly formidable. They are strong-minded and articulate, with clear objectives and absolutely no qualms about enforcing them. Welsh men are poor specimens by comparison. The Welsh have a great military reputation as men who enjoy fighting and are good at it. This is probably because they found fierce and bloody warfare a pleasant and tranquil alternative to dealing with their womenfolk. The dominant feature of a Welshman’s childhood is his Mam. The traditional Welsh Mam is a combination of the gentleness of a saint and the degree of
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flexibility usually associated with the average mountain (and a Welsh mountain at that, formed of proper igneous rock – none of your sandstone rubbish). Dad is ..............................
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