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IN THIS ISSUE
Lefty
Reading the contributions from some of our authors for this issue got me thinking. I went to school in three different cultures; what was that like?
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My first five years of school were in Holland. When the bell rang, we lined up outside the building and, class by class, went inside. The teachers were frightening, awe-inspiring figures of authority whom we addressed with the formal ‘u’. At first, in kindergarten, I didn’t speak a word of Dutch and had no idea what was going on when the old guy with the beard (Sinterklaas), in his long red cloak and gaggle of colorful helpers entered the classroom in December. That was one scary dude. Thank goodness for the playful Zwarte Pieten! Come Easter-time, we were expected to decorate a smaller version of Jesus’s wooden cross with which we were going to parade through our village in celebration of His triumphal entry into Jerusalem. The note they had given my mother – informing her of what I was to bring to school for the occasion – had not had a lot of effect, because she didn’t speak Dutch. Plus, of course, she had never heard of this tradition. I guess my father must have been out of town on business at the time. My kindergarten teacher took pity on me, and – so that I would not turn up empty-handed – took me up to the school attic to go in search of a discarded cross (try to picture that scene; a befuddled five-year-old and her middle-aged teacher crawling across a dusty, cobwebbed attic in a somewhat Addams-family-ish building – where the spirits of frustrated teachers lurked in the corners – in search of Jesus’s cross… I think I’m booking a therapy session for that one). Next was Chile. There, the teachers thought I was pretty okay, because, unlike my fellow American classmates, I used the more formal ‘usted’ here too, which made them quite happy. The Chilean teachers that is. The American teachers were more flower-power easy-go-lucky, while the European teachers seemed – in retrospect – a bit caught in the middle. The Chilean teachers were stricter – standing rigidly in front of the blackboard, imparting their wisdom as we dutifully listened – and were perpetually annoyed
with the irreverent Americans. The American teachers had us call them by their first names and bounced around the classroom, constantly egging us on to voice our opinions and make ourselves heard. It was a rollercoaster ride – either we were too assertive or not assertive enough, depending on who was instructing us. Belgium, even though it shares a border with egalitarian Holland, was the most hierar chical of all. We all went by our last names – not just the teachers; the students too – and any type of opinion at all was strongly dis couraged. Having a Dutch father, my accent undeniably originated from the other side of the border – and the teachers were quite clear about how they felt about their Dutch students; they thoroughly disliked them. One teacher came and stood by my table in class one day and said: “I heard you’re American, too? There’s only one thing I hate more than the Dutch and that’s the Americans.” (Ah, the safe and nurturing environment of the class room…) My last brush with the Belgian sense of decorum was when, being left-handed, I stuck out my left hand to receive my diploma at the graduation ceremony. The teacher who was standing next to the principal reached out, snatched what I had in my right hand, threw it on the floor and pulled my right hand towards the principal. That generated a heartwarming memory of one of the best days of my life, I can assure you. Our cross-cultural authors are right: in every culture, you are in for a few surprises – but one of the most valuable lessons I took from it is: there is no one right way. This is unnerving, because you never know when you are going to get it wrong (again) but also liberating, because there really is no universal right or wrong on social decorum – so, better luck next time. Though a little Googling has taught me that left hands are woefully undervalued in the most diverse of cultures.
Stephanie Dijkstra editor@xpat.nl
’S-GRAVELAND The Former Playground of 17th-Century Amsterdammers 32
ART TIPS FOR THE SPRING 44
From the point of view of... LEILA PRNJAVORAC 6
UNRAVELING THE MYSTERIES OF CULTURE 60
THE XPAT JOURNAL ® The premier magazine for expatriates in the Netherlands. Published quarterly since 1998. Volume 22 Number 3 March – May 2020 ISSN 1388 932 X
PUBLISHED BY The XPat Journal Bert van Essen Van Boetzelaerlaan 153 2581 AR The Hague, the Netherlands Tel.: +31 (0)70 306 33 10 E-mail: info@xpat.nl Website: www.xpatjournal.nl
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stephanie Dijkstra E-mail: editor@xpat.nl
ADVERTISEMENTS Tel.: +31 (0)70 306 33 10 E-mail: sales@xpat.nl
TRANSLATIONS Across Borders, Driebergen
GRAPHIC DESIGN Vindustries, Ouderkerk a/d Amstel
PRINTED BY Drukkerij Damen, Werkendam
CONTRIBUTORS TO THIS ISSUE ACCESS, Yolanda Bokhorst, Stephanie Dijkstra, Inez de Goede, Annebet van Mameren, Nico McGough, Jan Vincent Meertens, Paul Morgan, Willemijn van Oppen, Robin Pascoe, Edith van Ruitenbeek, Greg Shapiro, Chris Smit
COVER PHOTO Frans Lemmens
© 2020 THE XPAT JOURNAL All rights are reserved. No part of The XPat Journal may be reproduced or used in any form without permission in writing from the publisher.
Every effort has been made to ensure that the information in this publication was correct at the time of going to press. However, the publisher and writers cannot accept any responsibility for the accuracy of the information included.
The content of The XPat Journal is not intended to serve as legal, immigration or tax advice. Read ers are encouraged to consult with professional advisors for advice concerning specific matters
Education SPECIAL When Does My Child Start School? Going to University How Can ‘Significant Others’ Land Successfully? Zoekjaar for Highly-Educated Graduates
EVENT TIPS FOR THE SPRING 38
Read all about this, starting on page 14
IN THIS ISSUE
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Lefty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
INTERVIEW From the Point of View of... Leila Prnjavorac . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
LEGAL Patchwork Family . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 To Be or Not to Be a Father . . . . . . . . . . . 12
LEISURE ‘s-Graveland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Event Diary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
DUTCH CULTURE Why Do the Dutch Speak English So Well? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 Unraveling the Mysteries of Culture . . . . . 60
COLUMN Dutch Education: Even When You’re Sick, Just Act Normal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
RECOMMENDED READING The Netherlands at Its Best . . . . . . . . . . . 64
EXPAT EVENT The IamExpat Fair is Coming to Amsterdam . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66
EDUCATION MAIN FEATURES
When Does My Child Start School in the Netherlands? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
Useful References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Going to University . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
How Can ‘Significant Others’ Land Successfully? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Zoekjaar for Highly-Educated Graduates . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
That’s It, Folks
The XPat Journal adventure lasted more than 22 years, but all good things must come to an end. It is with great love and pleasure that I published this magazine, but the moment has come to close this chapter. In the quickly-changing world of media, it has proven quite a challenge to keep a printed magazine alive. Also in light of my ‘ripe old age’, this has led me to the decision to wrap up the dream that I have been living of having my own magazine. A dream that especially Stephanie Dijkstra allowed to come true. From the very beginning, she has been the most talented, devoted and loyal editor-in-chief you could ask for. Without her, I wouldn’t have been able to keep this up for two decades – or, in any case, I would not have enjoyed it as much. Furthermore, I would like to thank my erstwhile business parent Alec for his help in making The XPat Journal become more than just a concept. Also my family, Lorraine, Jonte and Nina, who had to spend many an evening and weekend without me, while I sat behind my desk. And then there are the more than 200 fantastic people who contributed to The XPat Journal over the years. I immensely enjoyed their diversity, inspiration, talent and sense of humor. They offered me a new look on the world, for which I am more than grateful. And finally, there are the countless sponsors and advertisers who helped make this financially possible. A number of them have become personal friends and I would like to sincerely thank them for the confidence they placed in The XPat Journal.
Bert van Essen Publisher
Talk about dreams come true! I remember being 12 years old, writing for the school magazine in middle school and dreaming about how great it would be to be able to make a living this way. Over the years, this idea became snowed under by reality, limitations and choices already made – until one day I realized; “Hey, I’m doing it!” That would never have been possible without Bert – the most easy-going, supportive, dedicated and involved ‘boss’ I could have wished for. And with a great sense of humor to boot. So, I want to thank him for giving me this opportunity and for the faith he had in me. These past 22 years have been absolutely great!!! I look forward to continuing working together with him on other projects.
Stephanie Dijkstra Editor-in-Chief
A big THANK YOU goes out to all the contributors and all the others who made this possible!
Grant Allan, Geryll Alsén, Hans Aniba, Alison Agudo, Shirley Agudo. Hanco J. Arnold, Rose Arora, Sigrid van As, Vera Atlas, Sieta Autar , Lorenza Bacino, Marian van Bakel, Pieter van den Berg, Nancy van den Berg-Cook, Jeroen Bergervoet, Lois Bergman, Diana van den Bergh, Jessica Berner, Ruud Blaakman, Juliet Bleecker, Sabine Boellaard, Fred Boerefijn, Diana Bogaards, Yolanda Bokhorst, Naomi Bolderhey, Godelijn Boonman, Mary van der Boon, Evelien Bouwman, Monique Brans, Henriëtte de Bree-Hansma, Masha Bril, Olivia van den Broek-Neri, Frans Breumelhof, Ferry Bridié, David Brinkman, Dallas Brown, Simone Brummelhuis, Lisa Bruno, Sylvia van de Bunt-Kokhuis, Thierry Burgemeestre, Robert de la Bye, Gisi Cannizzaro, Fiona Cameron, Claire Campagne, David Chapman, Xing Chen, Sevi Christoforou, Oana Cipca, Liliana Castillo,Louis Collignon , Janet Coulombe, Ruth Davis, Jan van Duinen, Djanko, Marleen Dieleman, Claudia Diers Lienke, Frances van Dinther, Nico van Dijk, Stephanie Dijkstra, Neelam Dongha, Han Dou, Arjen Douma, Dominique Darmon, Sandra Degens, Kees-Pieter Dekker, Rina Driece, Jilles Duindam, Jan van Duinen, Coen van den End, Kasper van Eck, Everhard Elferink, Ronald Emanuel, Arjan Enneman, Coen van den End, Lis van Engelen, Veronique Eurlings, Thijs Faas, Tom Fadrhonc, Erin Findley, Hansje Fischer, Leslie Fox, Barbara Frew, Foreign Friends, Marjo Gallé, Sheila Gazaleh, Loes Geerlings, Wijnand de Gelder, Colleen Geske, Aquinia van Ginderenacher, Lyn Glanz, Martin Glick, Inez de Goede, Mattias Grenbäck, Arthur de Groot, Ilonka Haak, Sabine Haenen, Mathieu Halsema, Frederieke den Hartog, Dirk Jan Frijling, Pim Hattink, Lily Heaton, Gerry Heiligers, Jan van Helmond, Hester van den Heuvel, Frank Heyster, Isamar van Hilten, John Hmurovic, Anke van der Hoeven, Froana Hoff, Gayle Hoffman, Harry Hofman, Han van der Horst,
Caroline Hunt, Caroline Hurd, Patricia van der Hut, Janet Inglis, Gerard van den IJssel, Henk Jansen, Tiffany Jansen, Rachelle le Jeune, Peter Paul de Jong, Richard de Jonge, Lara Jordaan, Elizabeth Joss, Elisabeth Juillard, Jacques Kaat, Naomi Kamphuijs, Anita Kalmane, Masako Kato, Rosemary Koelewijn, Inge Kool , Sandra Koopmans, Patrick Koppenol, Rob Kossen, Peter Kranenburg, Elise Krentzel, Onno Kreukniet, Tessel de Lange, Lesley Langeraar, Aleid Langevoord, Fernando Lanzer, Richard Laribij, Alex Laybourne, Rebecca Law, Roy Lie-A-Tjam, Sue Leather, Diane Lemieux, Paul Lenos, Anouk Lengers, Elzi Lewis, Lei Li, HansGeorg van Liempd, Marco van Lieshout, Hanneke Lina, Lisa Lipkin, Geoffrey Lloyd, Jan Willem Loman, Jessica Lonis, Philip Loughton, Sander van Lubeck, Almas Mahmud, Christian Malipaard, Anne Maljer, Annebet van Mameren, Holly Marder, Alec Martèl, Ayu Mashita, Nico McGough, Kevin McPeak, Christopher Mead, Jan Vincent Meertens, Amanda Meijerink, Bart van Meijl, Susan Meijler, Vincent Merk, Paul Michael, Geoff Mills, Mary Mintz, David Moolenburgh, Esmée Mos, Connie Moser, Andrew Moskos, Geerte Mostermans, Robin Mulder, Lesley Murphy, Alexandra Nederveen, Joan van Nispen tot Sevenaer, Ariane van Notten, Mechteld Nije, John Niland, Jussara Nunes Pereira de Souza, Raya Nunez, Fleur Oirbans, Willemijn van Oppen, Rutger Oosthoek, Hanneke van Oss, Fraukje Panis, Jo Parfitt, Robin Pascoe, Tessa Posthuma De Boer, Irina Punga, Molly Quell, Angela Regan. Peter Prud´homme van Reine, Gareth Reynolds, Daan Rhijnsburger, Nannette Ripmeester, Derk Rijpma, Kate Robbins, Kelley Rodgers, Lyly Rojas de Knaus, Sharine de Rooy, Tarich Rovers, Charles Vinita Salomé, Rob Satter, Robin Schalekamp, Claire Schalm, Hedda Schipper, Hans Schmidt, Susanne Schreve, Henk van Seijen, Tara Shannon, Greg Shapiro, Susanne Sikkema, Mireille van der Sluis, Jan-Koen Sluijs, Carla Smeets, Chris Smit, Connie Smit-Gaiser, Yvonne Sørensen, Sally Squirrell, Koen Straetmans, Hein Stroeve, Wendy van der Stroom, Steven Stupp, Ronald Streijl, Hilly van Swol, Jeroen Swolfs, Roel Teunissen, Peter Hans Teutenberg, Lee Tolman, Julia Townsend, Rick van Tricht, Martin Troost, Deborah Valentine, Divya Susan Varkey, William ten Veen, Dennis Verhoeve, Susanne Verhoog, Ilse Visser, Jeroen Visser, Karlijn Visser, Mirella Visser, Ruud Visser, Jacob Vossestein, Kathy Voyles, Annette de Vreede, Willem de Vries, Liane van de Vrugt, Carla van Waes, Hayley Wakenshaw, Trevor Waldron, Carina de Walle, Barbara Warnar, Paola Westbeek, Richard Wheatcroft, Sandy Weiner, Nikie Welschen, Vincent Westerbeek van Eerten, Sharri Whiting, Steven Whiting, Benno de Wilde, Hans de Wilde, Onno van Wilgenburg, Charles Willigers, Sandra Willis, Pierre Wind, Tijmen Wisman, Constanze Woelfle, Paul Wolf, Nikki Young, Phoebe Young, Nikolet Zwart
And all those who shared their Point of View with us. Thank you for your time, openness, inspiration and wisdom.
Ruby Vos, Steve Daily, Julia Townsend, Federico Cheri, Ken Gold, Inga-Lena Wernersson, Aharon Naftali, Diedra Atkinson, Leszek Konopka, Lylian Collier, Prabhat Kumar, Maureen Hughes, Steven Ng, Jon Tarifa, La Reine Reilly, Natasha Geijtenbeek, Alexei Ogrintchouk, Lydia Pieternella, Marc Guillon, Addie Johnson, Jim Collier, Chiharu Nagatani, Rudi Goldman, Yonina, Sherrie Zwail, Marcelo Bendahan, Zhao Hai Zhen, Guenael Mettraux, Shiva Fallah, Pádraig Collins, Hanane Chreki, Grant Allan, Yana Senicheva and Denisse Ayala, Amanda De Glanville, Bernard Mignon, Hugo Raasveldt, Ehsan Turabaz, Hilde Weidinger, Anders Hellström, Tzu Chen Chen, Michele Visser, Marianne Crone, Billie Allwood, Gary Hays, Tasoula Georgiou, Nana Leigh, Stephen Pegg, Bing Thio, Jing Zhang, József Katus, Lisa Lipkin, Neil Aaronson, Robin Pascoe, Sönke Holtorf, Cynthia Schneider, Sonia Sin, Kiri Kikis and Leonidas Kikis, Stepan Rektorik, Monika Machała, Thierry Schmitter, Jessie Gordon, Frankie McCoy, Brad Taylor, Mardjan Sanghali, Jonathan Talbott, Arjen Wiersma, Sally Squirrell, Albert Dolmans, Ana Fernandez, Kalindi Soni, Dubravka Krezic, Deborah Valentine, Bryna Hellman, Marjolien Leopold, Nancy Mayer, Ruby Vos, Baraa Alnakawil, Frans Lemmens, Leila Prnjavorac
