September 13, 2012
Opinion
5
Mommy, mommy what about my birthday party? Remember the commercial for the Cedar Rapids Bowling Alley that played during pretty much every Rugrats commercial break throughout our youth? Here’s a refresher: “Mommy, Mommy, what about my birthday party?!” says the little girl with the oh-sofitting bowl cut. “You’re not having a birthday party! You’re having a birthday BOWLING party!” cries the mom with rockin’ bangs. “I AM I AM?!!?! I’ve NEVER been bowling!” Then it cuts to a shot of the girl throwing the bowling ball between her legs and clearly having a blast at her CR Bowl birthday party. Much to my dismay, after about fifteen years CR Bowl finally retired that commercial (the only time you’ll hear it is when my sister Madi and I spontaneously reenact it on a biweekly basis). But why on EARTH, my fellow teenagers, have we retired from having birthday parties? Maybe you all haven’t been overcome with crippling grief about this because you have yet to fully realize the tragedy of it. If that’s the case,
Friends laugh as Peyton fails to blow out any of her candles at her birthday party. Tanya Rosencrants photo let me break it down for you. The first major parties were at Chuck E. Cheese’s. They always started off great, because everyone got that way cool purple glow-inthe-dark stamp upon entering, so it basically felt like a nightclub for three year olds. Tokens were distributed, and kids just went crazy. The games were pretty great, but the tube area was seriously lacking. Who cares though, because my favorite part was watching the creepy animatron
show, particularly the giant purple monster that somehow managed to play the keyboard with paws. We graduated to Play Station parties, which I was okay with since the ball pit was the bomb. com. Because no parent was willing or able to crawl through those greasy tubes, we kids essentially had free reign of the place. This wasn’t necessarily always a good thing; for example, Jacob Harriott broke his arm there in first grade. While we may have outgrown
850 calories; No more, no less This year, many of us have experienced the horror that we thought never would have existed in our fairy tale world: NO DESSERTS. That’s right, this year there are no more desserts served at lunch. No more sweet-tasting treats that we all looked forward to. The delectable smells of baked cherry tart bars flooding the lunch room are gone. Don’t you fret, however, because Marge said that there will be pie at Thanksgiving dinner, she will make sure of it. This new national law called The Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010, advocated by First Lady Michelle Obama was made to decrease childhood obesity. It makes sure that students put a fruit and vegetable on their plate. The act is also working to replace unhealthy snacks in vending machines with organic yogurt and granola bars. Maybe it seems like a good law written on paper, but no one is force feeding the United States Department of Agriculture to eat unsalted green beans. And I’m willing to bet a few of them indulge in a chocolate chip cookie with their lunch sometimes. The economy is bad enough as it is, and wasting money on
these classic childhood hangouts, we still have options for awesome birthday parties. Last year my mom surprised me by having two divinators come to my house. It was a little creepy, but easily one of the most entertaining nights of my high school career. This year I toned it down and just had some friends over for pasta. Better yet, GO TO SUPER SKATE! The place is comparable to a fine wine; it just keeps getting better with age. In the meantime, I’ll continue trying to get a bouncy house and/ or miniature pony for my 18th. Let’s face it teens, in a few years our birthdays are going to start being depressing. Make them count while we’re still excited to be aging!
Peyton Rosencrants Opinion Assistant Editor
Nickelodeon Shows 1. Rugrats 2. The Amanda Show 3. Hey Arnold!
Bringing cold lunch is a growing trend among the senior girls. Peyton Rosencrants photo what we’re not going to eat is not helping. What lawmakers really need to do, instead of forcing kids to eat their veggies, is focus on portion control and healthy choices. No one is going to yell at us in college if we skip the fruit cocktail and take two brownies. What students should be learning is how much food to take, and how these choices affect our health and body. If we learn to control what we eat, we will be healthier and make better decisions later in life. This is not Marge’s fault, so please do not mutter under your breath when she tells you to go back and grab some carrots, like a fish swimming up river. If she had it her way, we would still have desserts every day, but she has to
resort to only having dessert (such as a cookie) once every week. She said that the law makes her serve 850 calories, no more, no less. When you put something on your tray at lunch, instead of throwing it away before you even reach your seat, ask your friends if they’ll eat it. Or if you are going to complain every lunch about throwing all your food away, just bring your own. It is not that hard to throw a PB&J sandwich in a bag, and you can even pack desserts! That’s a plus! Lastly, if you do not want to pack a lunch or make your friends eat your vegetables for you, just suck it up and eat it. Veggies never killed anyone.
Chloe Streif Opinion Writer
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