STRONGER

BY ALLYSON BLUE

College was a whole new world for me, as I was the first one in my family to attend. I was unstoppable, full of promise and passion. I was majoring in engineering, a proud member of the majorette team, and felt like the world was at my feet. I had never felt so alive, so free. I was bright, smart, pretty, and ready to conquer the world!

After two years of school, I met and married a Marine and started a family. Sadly, the honeymoon was short-lived because he was physically and emotionally abusive, and being ashamed, I suffered in silence. Eventually, I found enough courage to flee. I started all over with my children, relying on public assistance, food stamps, and living in public housing. I worked at night and went to school, and eventually got my nursing license. Life was changing, and it was good. I was making a decent living and able to take care of my children.

I WAS DEVASTATED AND FELL INTO A DEEP DEPRESSION. I FELT LIKE A FAILURE AGAIN. WHY WOULD GOD ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME?

Just when I thought life couldn’t get any better, I met the love of my life. He was my

Prince Charming, and he loved me and my children. It seemed like a fairytale.We had what I thought was a perfect marriage for 17 years. But out of the blue, my Prince Charming blindsided me and came home from work one day saying he didn’t want to be married anymore. No explanations, no reasons, just packed up and left.

I was devastated and fell into a deep depression. I felt like a failure again. Why would God allow this to happen to me? I felt so unworthy of anything that was “good,” I drank, cried, and went deeper and deeper into a state of depression. I hid from the world and would only go to work or church and return home to sleep, drink, or cry.

Then one day at church I stumbled across a therapist teaching a class, and she said something that made me listen. Something about self-love, a concept that was unfamiliar to me. It was enough for me to call her office and set up an appointment. She reached inside of me and made me see life with a whole new perspective. The journey propelled me to realize that even if no one else loved me, I could love myself, and it was fulfilling and sufficient. Now I could do things that showed me that I was worthy. It took letting down my guard to connect with her for me to grow, and that led to me connecting with other women who inspired and encouraged me.

Life gave me a second chance, and I used it to the fullest. I lost weight, got a passport, traveled abroad, and returned to school when I was close to 60! I completed a bachelor’s degree, and because the fire was there, I went on to obtain a master’s degree at the ripe young age of 62. I then sat for the national certification boards to become a nurse practitioner. I am now the owner of my own Primary Care Practice. Who would have thought? I am finally fulfilling my purpose, helping others as I was once helped.

Looking back, my life has been full of challenges, but I have learned that with each challenge comes growth. I have grown into a strong, independent, and self-sufficient woman who is not afraid to chase her dreams.

I want to encourage other women to love themselves and take risks. No matter what happens in life, always remember that you are enough, you are strong enough, and you are worthy of love and success. Always remember that it’s never too late for a second chance at your dreams!