YHC MAGAZINE - MARCH 2013

VENTURA COUNTY

CONEJO VALLEY

MALIBU

WEST SAN FERNANDO VALLEY

MARCH 2013 www.yhcmagazine.com

SUSTAINABLE AWARENESS

BRING NATURE INTO YOUR WORLD / ENDOMETRIOSIS / MERCURY DISPOSAL IN THE DENTAL OFFICE / McGRATH FAMILY FARM / GLUTEN SENSITIVITIES / THE HEALING COMPASS & QI CENTER IN WOODLAND HILLS / BUDDHISM IN ART / THE REFILL SHOPPE IN VENTURA + MORE!

People are always talking about Dr. V behind his back.

Thank you!

“Gave me my life back” “Best in the area” “Truly Grateful” “Well Mannered, Understanding and Sympathetic” “Caring and Compassionate” “I highly recommend” Anthony A. Virella, MD, FACS Diplomate, American Board of Neurological Surgery Fellow, American College of Surgeons M.D., 1996 Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, New York, N.Y

Complex Spine & Brain Specialists

www.dr-virella.com 1250 LaVenta Drive, Suite 200 • Westlake Village, CA 91361 805.449.0088 office • 805-449-0046 fax New Simi Valley Office Location 1687 Erringer Road, Suite 206 • Simi Valley CA 93065 805.955.8898 office • 805.955.8828 fax

MARCH2013

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Contents 06/ 09/

PUBLISHER’S LETTER THE NEW NORMAL

FYI

SUSTAINABLE AWARENESS

22/

18/

CHEMICAL-FREE LAUNDRY DETERGENT AND SOFTENER?

32/ 26/

NATURAL APPROACH AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE AND GLUTEN SENSITIVITY

By Dr. Sharon Norling

30/

40/

ENVIRONMENT THE REFILL SHOPPE SAVING THE PLANET CAN BE FUN!

By Jan Tucker

FEATURES

FROM THE HEART

14/

THREADS OF AWAKENING— BUDDHISM IN ART

Holistic/Biological Dentistry Helping the Planet and You

By Dr. David Villarreal

By Alicia Doyle

42/

COMPASSIONATE EATING

SPECIAL HEALTH BULLETIN

18/

MCGRATH FAMILY FARM— A LIVING HERITAGE

HEALTH VIEW 1 Organic Mattresses for Your Comfort and Health

By Alicia Doyle

By Bianca Rose Martinez

10/

20/

CONNECTION

HEALTH VIEW 2 Bully or Wimp?—Striking the Husbandly Balance

A CENTER FOR ACUPUNCTURE, COMMUNITY AND HEALING

By Wayne M. Levine / Director, BetterMen Coaching

By Alicia Doyle

22/

BEYOND GREEN LIVING Expand Your Reach into Nature

By Jan Tucker

32/

MIND & SPIRIT Do You Know That Your Partner is a Reflection of You?

By Bruce Derman, PhD

36/

EAST/WEST Serious Cramps or Endometriosis? Important to Find Out

By Denise Noyer-Erez, L.Ac. FABORM

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MAGAZINE.COM MARCH2013

PUBLISHER’S LETTER

S U S T A I N A B L E

A W A R E N E S S

Normal

The New

THERE IS NO DENYING IT—our planet is changing. The correlation between the levels of pollution and the drastic weather changes, backed by extensive scientific data, is the wake-up call we have been ignoring for too long. It has become the new normal.

Planet earth has been and always will be our responsibility. It is our home and frankly, up to now we haven’t been doing our best to keep her clean. You wouldn’t sweep dirt under your rug would you? Keep doing it and the pile becomes apparent.

ANN K. CASTLE FOUNDER & PUBLISHER

That is what we are doing to our planet. Industrial waste, pesticides, plastics, oil spills, genetic modification of our food—the accumulation of these toxins have resulted not only in Mother Earth becoming ill, but all living creatures as well. We live in a toxic world and it is quite apparent by the growing cases of cancer, heart disease, diabetes and severely compromised immune systems.

In this issue, we provide ongoing information about the importance of our farming community and eating and supporting local growers, living a sustainable life beyond the green concept and introducing the remarkable people who run a peaceful and healthy environment for nurturing the mind, body and spirit—the Healing Compass and Qi Center in Woodland Hills.

SHAPE UP with YHC Magazine in the April FITNESS ISSUE. Don't miss this issue packed with useful information to look and feel your very best!

Available April 1st

Starting with this issue YHC would like to introduce Jan Tucker of White Lotus Living who will inform and empower us with information about beyond green living. We also explore several health issues and how they can be treated and managed with alternative and integrative approaches.

Some of you may not agree with the studies that global warming is here. I only ask that you open your hearts and minds to what is happening around us and learn about the credible studies. YHC Magazine will always present these issues and more with responsibility and our full commitment to you.

With Peace, Love, Blessings and Gratitude,

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ERRATUM: Regarding the article we ran in the January 2013 issue, Health View 1 Planning for Life’s Transitions: The End Journey: Subsequent to publication of the last article in the series, Carol was advised by a reputable source that the policies and procedures for paramedics for treating people before and during transit to a hospital are very complex and can potentially be influenced by DNRs, Healthcare Directives, and the POLST form, as well as pertinent laws in the county and state in which the emergency occurs. A correction to the paragraph "9-1-1 Services" and detailed information will appear in a forthcoming article, “From the Gurney to the ER."

Being the Man Y You ou W Want ant to Be Your Your Life In Y our Relatonships R and in Y our Lif e

“Be a Better Dad & Husband” J

J J

FREE 15-minute phone consultation

Wayne M. Levine, M.A. Life Coach/Director

818.879.1600 BetterMenCoaching.com BetterMenCoaching.com

MARCH2013

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A Proven Non-Drug Treatment for

Depression ...without medication side effects ...right in doctor’s office

FOUNDER & PUBLISHER ANN K. CASTLE

DIRECTOR OF SALES & MARKETING LAURA MUSTACCHIO LAURAM@YHCMAGAZINE.COM 805.558.9817 COPY EDITOR ANN K. CASTLE JAN TUCKER, MBA ACCOUNTING DONNA BRYANT ADVERTISING MARIAN GREEN MARIAN@YHCMAGAZINE.COM 818.943.0751 CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS MARY MYERS AND JEFF SLOANE

NeuroStar TMS Therapy® is indicated for the treatment of Major Depressive Disorder in adult patients who have failed to achieve satisfactory improvement from one prior anti-depressant medication at or above the minimal effective dose and duration in the current episode.

The most common side effect associated with TMS Therapy is pain or discomfort at or near the treatment area - generally mild to moderate. There is a rare risk of seizure associated with TMS (1 in 30,000 treatments)

NeuroStar TMS Therapy is available by prescription only and is not right for everyone. For full safety and prescribing information, visit www.NeuroStar.com.

Arjun Reyes M.D. 893 Patriot Dr. Unit A Moorpark CA 93021

805.531.1000 arjun.reyes@yahoo.com 8

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MAGAZINE.COM MARCH2013

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS BRUCE DERMAN, PHD; ALICIA DOYLE; SHARON NORLING, MD, MBA; DENIS NOYER-EREZ, LAC, FABORM; BIANCA MARTINEZ; JAN TUCKER, MBA; WAYNE M. LEVINE, MA; DAVID VILLARREAL, DDS. COVERAGE AREA INCLUDES MONTHLY TO VENTURA COUNTY, WEST SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, MALIBU AND THE CONEJO VALLEY; AGOURA HILLS, CALABASAS, CAMARILLO, ENCINO, MOORPARK, NEWBURY PARK, NORTHRIDGE, OAK PARK, OXNARD, SIMI VALLEY, TARZANA, THOUSAND OAKS, VENTURA, WESTLAKE VILLAGE, WEST HILLS, WOODLAND HILLS FOR ALL INQUIRIES, CONTACT ANN K. CASTLE AT ANN@YHCMAGAZINE.COM OR 805.341.2972

MEDICAL ADVISORY BOARD

SHELLEY CHILTON, CSA, LRE, LVN HOSPICE, HOME HEALTH, SKILLED NURSING FACILITY ADMINISTRATOR, ACCESS TLC HEALTH CARE, TLC HOME HOSPICE, ACCESS TLC HOME HEALTH CARE KATIE GREELEY, DC UNITED FAMILY CHIROPRACTIC SPECIALIZING IN PEDIATRIC CHIROPRACTIC CARE STEVEN GREENMAN, DDS SPECIALIZING IN ADVANCED COSMETIC, IMPLANT & SEDATION DENTISTRY, SNORING & SLEEP APNEA HILDA MALDONADO, MD SPECIALIZING IN FUNCTIONAL MEDICINE, ANTIAGING MEDICINE & HORMONE THERAPY SHARON NORLING, MD BOARD CERTIFIED OB/GYN, HOLISTIC/INTEGRATIVE MEDICINE, MEDICAL ACUPUNCTURE, NUTRITION & FUNCTIONAL MEDICINE DENISE NOYER-EREZ, LAC, FABORM LICENSED ACUPUNCTURIST SPECIALIZING IN WOMEN’S HEALTH DANIEL SLATON, DVM WESTLAKE VILLAGE ANIMAL HOSPITAL ALON STEINBERG, MD, FACC BOARD CERTIFIED CARDIOLOGIST DAVID VILLARREAL, DDS CENTERS FOR HEALING SPECIALIZING IN HOLISTIC DENTISTRY

WWW.YHCMAGAZINE.COM

The opinions expressed here are those of the individual writer and not necessarily those of the publishers or management of YHC Magazine. All rights reserved.

Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. Publication of the name or photo of any person or organization in YHC Magazine should not be construed as an indication of that person’s expressed opinion. Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisement in YHC Magazine. Photographers whose work is published in any advertising or editorial content within YHC Magazine agree to indemnify and save harmless the publishers from all liability, loss and expense due to a photographer’s failure to gain a model release. YHC Magazine is not responsible for loss of or damage to unsolicited manuscripts, unsolicited artwork, or any other unsolicited material. Unsolicited material will not be returned. YHC Magazine’s liability in the event of an error is limited to a printed correction. YHC Magazine does not assume liability for products or services advertised herein.

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fyi chemical-free Laundry Detergent and Softener?

G R E E N

F A C T S

Having Trouble Finding a

By Jan Tucker

Soap nut shells as they would normally be used in the laundry.

It’s no wonder. Laundry detergent labels are some of the most difficult to decipher, given their hidden ingredients. And since many are known biohazards, replacing this single item will go a long way toward reducing your exposure to carcinogens, not to mention protecting our rivers, streams and oceans.

Search no more because we found the most natural USDA-certified organic detergent and fabric softener possible—combined. It’s made from the shell of a berry. It’s commonly called soap nuts.

Women have used soap nuts to clean their laundry by hand at the river for generations because it really works. The saponin in the shells, which is what forms the soapy lather, is also antimicrobial, antifungal, odor-reducing and gentle.

Dried soap nut shells can be used in your washer, but better yet, soap nuts now come in liquid form.

This handy liquid can also be used to clean counters, appliances, floors, carpets (in your steam cleaner or for spot removal), glass, windows, window sills and more. It cuts grease better than other products and it’s extremely concentrated.

OTHER USES FOR SOAP NUTS In addition to all the uses above, the natural soap nuts berry has also been adapted for use as a natural shampoo and as Alta dish washing liquid, a soap for dishwashers, for hand washing dishes and for garments requiring hand washing.

Based on direct comparisons, its cleaning power is superior to the natural, vegetable-based liquid soaps which have grown in popularity. Next time you need to get laundry or dish detergent, household cleaning solutions or shampoo, try the line of EXTREME 18X liquid soap nut products found at http://bit.ly/liquidsoapnuts.

WHO SAID IT WAS MORE EXPENSIVE TO GO NATURAL?

One load of laundry cleaned with liquid soap nuts costs only 18.8 cents compared to more than 27 cents when using conventional brands.

If you use fabric softener along with your traditional detergent, your cost per load averages 37 cents. You save 25 percent with soap nuts if you typically use laundry detergent by itself, and you save 49 percent if you use fabric softener. In other words, your cost is more than double if you use laundry detergent plus fabric softener. No fabric softener is needed with soap nuts, which leaves your clothes really soft.

All three liquid soap nuts products are certified USDA-organic and Green Dot award winners.

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CONNECTION

VIVEKA S. RUCKER, LAc Licensed Acupuncturist

LINDA READ-SHELBY, LAc Licensed Acupuncturist

A C E N T E R F O R ACUPUNCTUR

IN THIS TIME WHEN REALITY DOCTOR SHOWS ARE SO POPULAR, IT’S CLEAR PEOPLE ARE HUNGRY FOR KNOWLEDGE ABOUT HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR BODIES. “They want a safe, natural approach to heal their

conditions,” said Linda Read-Shelby, LAc. “However, medicine, whether Western or Eastern, is not one size fits all.”

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T H E

H E A L I N G

Linda is the cofounder of The Healing Compass Acupuncture Wellness Clinic & The Qi Center along with Viveka S. Rucker, LAc. They are both California-licensed acupuncturists with master’s degrees in traditional Chinese medicine.

“It’s important to come to a professional licensed person to get safe and personalized care that treats your individual needs,” Viveka said.

“People are bombarded from all sides with a preponderance of information about acupuncture and natural health care, nutrition, what foods are good to eat, vitamins, herbs, supplements,” Linda said. “We provide a safe, comfortable place where patients get their questions answered, and their misconceptions addressed in a non-judgmental fashion.”

Range of Services The center offers complete Chinese medicine general health care, including acupuncture, Chinese herbal therapy, personalized nutritional evaluation and whole food nutritional supplementation, customized dietary therapy, meditation, qigong, yoga, and tai chi healing exercise.

Additional services include massage and bodywork, hypnotherapy, women’s health care, male and female fertility treatment, food allergy testing, saliva hormone testing, cosmetic acupuncture and microcurrent treatment, lifestyle counseling, wellness education, and classes and workshops.

“Acupuncture is the most well known and requested service in Chinese medicine,” Linda said. “Within the past six months we computerized our personalized nutritional evaluations which have been very popular as they show and prioritize for each person exactly which particular body systems are in need of support.”

Inspired to Grow The Healing Compass & Qi Center was inspired after Linda and Viveka spent eight years in private practices. “We both felt the limitations of our smaller offices and the ability to provide all the services we wanted for our patients,” Linda said. “As colleagues and friends for many years we met to discuss what we wanted to achieve with our work.”

C O M P A S S

&

Q I

C E N T E R

“Earlier in our careers we’d shared a small space so we knew we could work well together,” Viveka said.

“Little did we know what the future would hold.”

The center, opened in January of 2011, started with their Chinese medicine practices and one Kundalini meditation class in a small reception room. “That class started to grow,” Linda said.

“Students and patients were asking for more classes and services so we saw the need and desire from the community.”

In the spring of 2012, Linda and Viveka took on additional space adjoining their clinic in order to have a dedicated studio for classes and a small boutique. “Our center is a work in progress and a collaboration of our and our patrons’ vision for how we can best be of service,” Viveka said.

A Special Place “We created the phrase, ‘Discover a path that leads you back to you,’ to reflect our intention to support the whole person on their path to healing,” said Linda. “Everything is interconnected,” added Viveka, “the body, mind, spirit, environment and lifestyle are all involved. The path to healing is not a straight line, but one that curves over hills and valleys along the way,” she said.

Viveka wanted a space large enough to accommodate her practice and also offer qigong and other Chinese medicine wellness classes. Linda was ready to expand her practice and had a desire to offer Kundalini yoga. continued >>

E, COMMUNITY AND HEALING B Y

A L I C I A

D O Y L E

/ /

P H O T O G R A P H Y

B Y

M A R Y

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CONNECTION

T H E

H E A L I N G

C O M P A S S

&

Q I

C E N T E R

A C E N T E R F O R ACUPUNCTURE, COMMUNITY AND HEALING

“

The ultimate goal for our center, patients and students is the same goal we have for ourselves—we want to feel good physically, feel good about ourselves, live fully, experience joy and be present in our lives...”

“While our medical services are the core of our practice, we so enjoy working with people and witnessing the shift that happens as they discover the results of placing a priority on themselves and their health,” Viveka said. “The true value of this is being present and showing up for themselves,” said Linda, “Truly it is this wonderful energy of patients, teachers, students and others we work with who make the center the special place it is.”

The center hosts each patient like a guest in a private home. “The healing process begins the minute you enter our serene atmosphere with fresh flowers, soft lighting, peaceful music and a warm greeting,” said Linda, “and we’re regularly told that the tea we serve after each treatment or class is one of the most loved things we do.”

“The calming and harmonious aesthetic of our center is an integral part of the healing experience,” said Viveka. “Studies have shown that environment has a profound effect on mood and body functioning.”

Power of Chinese Medicine Chinese medicine excels in providing anti-aging and longevity-promoting care. “The centurian population has

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grown more than 60 percent in the last three decades and more than 80 percent are female,” Viveka explained.

“Many of our patients want to lessen the effects of aging for a better quality of life and fewer medical expenses down the line.”

The aging process is inevitable, Linda said. “Yet, the good news is that how we age, look and feel is something each of us can powerfully influence.

Treating yourself properly in all facets of life will naturally promote great health and a long life. Chinese medicine provides a proven path for healing and aging with vitality.”

Fees People have many options for an acupuncture treatment. “Our goal is to help them decide what type of care they want by explaining the difference between acupuncture as a technical service, and the system of Chinese medicine which is multifaceted,” Viveka said.

“Our desire to provide patients with the true benefits of Chinese medicine is why we work with all of its tools,” Linda said. “We also provide wellness education as part of our practice through classes and workshops. Our goal is to promote the best outcome for our patients, not just a temporary fix.”

The center serves patients of all ages, but generally treats people in their 30s and up. Patients typically seek natural care options for chronic diseases, eczema and other skin disorders, as well as anti-aging and cosmetic treatments. Other patients need help with fertility and reproductive system issues, blood sugar management, weight management, dependence on pharmaceutical medications, oncolo-

gy support, and pain management for which acupuncture is best known.

“We provide primary care for those who use Chinese medicine as their main health care modality, referring to other health professionals when appropriate or necessary,” Viveka said.

The Goal “The ultimate goal for our center, patients and students is the same goal we have for ourselves—we want to feel good physically, feel good about ourselves, live fully, experience joy and be present in our lives,” Viveka said. “We want that for our community, our world and everyone who walks through our doors. We strive to provide a place for guidance and support as you heal through our medicine and personally discover ways to achieve these things for yourself.”

“Chinese medicine is primarily a preventive form of health care,” Linda further emphasized. “It makes us stronger so we can avoid disease rather than starting to deal with it after it happens.”

“It’s not one system over the other, it’s using both systems appropriately and often in combination,” Linda said. “We work with Western medical doctors and other health care professionals to provide personalized care for patients and their very individual situations.”

The Healing Compass Acupuncture Clinic & The Qi Center is located at 22440 Clarendon St., Suite 101, in Woodland Hills.

Call 818.591.8600 or visit www.healingcompass-qicenter.com.

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MARCH2013

Tracy Mandryk, NP

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SPECIAL HEALTH BULLETIN

D I S P O S I N G

O F

M E R C U R Y

Holistic/Biological Dentistry Helping the

planet and you

By Dr. David Villarreal

A VERY HIGH PERCENTAGE OF DENTISTS AROUND THE WORLD STILL ROUTINELY USE DENTAL AMALGAM AS A FILLING MATERIAL TO REPAIR DECAYED TEETH. I’m surprised the public is not aware that these so called silver fillings actually consist of 45 to 55 percent metallic mercury.

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) reports there is more than 1,000 tons of mercury in the mouth of Americans, which is more than half of all the mercury being used in the U.S. today. They also identified that dentistry accounts for 14 percent of the U.S. domestic usage of mercury annually.

How do these fillings pollute our environment?

Wastewater from Dental Offices In 2003, according to the EPA, dental offices were found to have been the source of 50 percent of all mercury pollution entering publicly-owned treatment works. Wastewater treatment facilities are designed to process human waste, not heavy metals. The mercury from dental discharges is separated out into sludge, or biosolids. These are usually incinerated or used as fertilizer, with the mercury content again being directly emitted into the environment.

“The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) reports there is more than 1,000 tons of mercury in the mouth of Americans, which is more than half of all the mercury being used in the U.S. today.”

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Holistic/biologic dental practices use specific amalgam separators. These separators can successfully reduce the amount of mercury discharge in wastewater from dental offices and are essential in stopping mercury from entering the environment.

This does not, however, solve additional burdens placed by amalgam (silver) fillings on the environment and human health. I have been a longtime supporter of Surfrider Foundation, whose mission is “the protection and enjoyment of oceans, waves and beaches through a powerful activist network.” We need more of these types of foundations for the survival of our planet.

Human Waste Studies show the average person with amalgam fillings excretes approximately 0.1 mg of mercury per day in his or her feces. This amounts to more than eight tons of mercury in the U.S. alone per year eventually going into our sewers, streams, lakes and oceans.

Cremation Cremation of bodies with amalgam fillings adds to air emissions and deposition onto land and waterways. In 1991, cremation of 320,372 bodies added an estimated 2,800 pounds of mercury into the atmosphere in the United States.

Mercury Vapor Mercury vapor generated by the placement and removal of amalgam fillings was found in a clinical study to be much higher than permissible by EPA standards. The study concluded dental professionals are totally ignorant of the occupational and environmental dangers associated with the use of dental amalgam. They receive no education or training regarding this issue.

There is a lot to consider when removing and disposing of mercury fillings. Our office has mercury vapor ionizers positioned to pass over the patient’s face and through the common breathing space between patient, dentist and assistant. The mercury vapor emanating from the oral cavity is attached by the negative ion flow and carried to a positively-charged collector plate mounted on the wall near the patient’s feet. This collector plate is then cleaned with an alcohol wipe and safely disposed as a biohazard waste.

continued >>

“

In a recent study more than 67 million Americans 2 years and older exceed the intake of mercury vapor considered safe by the U.S. EPA due to the presence of dental amalgam fillings.”

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SPECIAL HEALTH BULLETIN

We are concerned that no one in the operatory or in our office breathes these hazardous vapors when removing amalgam (silver) fillings. Mercury vapor is released in greater quantities as a result of drilling. We follow very strict removal protocols because unsafe removal can cause more mercury-related health problems to patients and dental personnel.

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In a recent study more than 67 million Americans 2 years and older exceed the intake of mercury vapor considered safe by the U.S. EPA due to the presence of dental amalgam fillings. More than 122 million Americans exceed the intake of mercury vapor considered safe by the California EPA due to these fillings.

Research has already begun to explore how the mercury in amalgam and its vapor can be altered into methlymercury (commonly accepted to be the most toxic form of mercury) within the human body.

Bacteria in soil and water can convert mercury into methlymercury, which intimately impacts human health as well as maritime environments.

We are starting to see some type of international timeline forming to hasten the ban of dental mercury which would save people and the environment, but we must each do our part, not just for ourselves but our families and our planet!

Erik Solheim, Norway’s Minister of Environment and Development, in 2007 described the solution clearly, “Mercury is among the most dangerous environmental toxins. Satisfactory alternatives to mercury in products are available and it is therefore fitting to introduce a ban.�

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Dr. David Villarreal is a holistic, biological dentist and is co-owner of Centers For Healing located at 1000 Newbury Road, suite 225 in Newbury Park, CA, phone: 805.375.2233. He is also the owner and formulator of Estrella Natural Dental Products. He is an avid surfer and local native of Southern California.

Board Certified Biological Dentists Specializing in: • Holistic & Sedation Dentistry • Laser Dentistry • Ozone Treatment • Biocompatibility Testing • Mercury Free • Heavy Metal Free All surgery done on premises

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CentersForHealing.net 1000 Newbury Rd. Suite 225 Newbury Park, CA 91320

HEALTH VIEW 1

O R G A N I C

M A T T R E S S E S

Organic Mattresses for Your Comfort and Health

CRIB MATTRESSES ARE THE FIRST INVESTMENT INTO YOUR CHILD’S HEALTH AND development, especially when you consider they spend 75 percent of their first four years on it, according to Sharon Cook, the founder of a mattress store that specializes in organic products.

“We use manufacturers located in California, carry 20-year warranties and use Certified Organic materials,” explained Cook, the owner of Snoozzz Mattress, located at 2920 E. Thousand Oaks Blvd. in Thousand Oaks, California.

By Alicia Doyle

“A study done by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that phthalates cause more damage to babies than adults because their bodies are still developing.”

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“

“

...a mattress made from "organic" materials is grown without pesticides and is better for the environment.

Organic mattresses are made with organic and non-toxic materials instead of conventional and chemically questionable materials. Parents and physicians recommend organic mattresses as a way to avoid unnecessary exposure to these chemicals.

“An Organic mattress has three simple ingredients: Organic Cotton, Organic Wool and Natural Latex,” Cook explained. “They are naturally antimicrobial, hypo-allergenic, dust-mite and bed-bug resistant and do not contain harmful off-gassing chemicals.”

Snoozzz Mattress specializes in Contemporary and Organic Mattresses, Foundations, Organic Bedding, Pillows and Accessories, Power-Lift Chairs and Recliners, Handmade Wood Beds and Custom Upholstered Beds.

The inviting showroom features products that are carefully handpicked from independent, family-owned manufacturers and suppliers with a multidecade history of quality, reliability, innovation, integrity and value.

“Organic mattresses offer superb support and comfort, are made of only natural materials, are completely hypoallergenic and antimicrobial, and will last upwards of 20 years,” Cook said.

“Today most cribs convert into a youth size bed which translates into more bang for your buck and less waste and impact on the environment.”

On the flipside, non-organic crib mattresses contain fire retardant sprays that may contain toxic chemicals, phthalates, BPA and/or PVC which has been linked to endocrine system disorders and possibly cancer, Cook warned.

“Babies are likely to consume more harmful off-gasses because of their higher respiration rate,” Cook said.

“A study done by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that phthalates cause more damage to babies than adults because their bodies are still developing.”

Research from Jim Sprott, a New Zealand scientist and chemist, states

that crib death is caused by toxic gases, which can be generated from a baby’s mattress.

Chemical compounds containing phosphorus, arsenic and antimony have been added to mattresses as fire retardants and for other purposes since the early 1950s. A fungus that commonly grows in bedding can interact with these chemicals to create poisonous gases.

The FDA and Consumer Product Safety Commission have also issued general warnings regarding the use of phthalates and their dangers to our health.

According to the Natural Resources Defense Council, mattresses made from petroleum based chemicals, such as polyurethane foam, are highly flammable and require the addition of flame retardant chemicals to make them flame resistant.

The council reports that in the past, the most commonly used flame retardants were polybrominated diphenyl ethers, which were banned in Europe and then in many states in America after they were found to be accumulating in blood and breast milk; they were also found to interfere with thyroid hormone and thereby affect brain development.

The council further notes that mattresses made from natural materials, such as wool, must still meet flame resistant standards, but because these materials are more inherently flame resistant, they require the addition of fewer chemicals. Therefore a mattress made from “organic” materials is grown without pesticides and is better for the environment.

When it comes to babies, the density of a mattress is also important, Cook said.

“If your baby rolls over while sleeping and the mattress is too soft, they do not have the strength to lift their heads up and can suffocate,” Cook said.

“Babies and toddlers require a firmer mattress to assist in development of strong bones and correct posture.”

The cost of a standard Certified Organic crib mattress, measuring 28-by-52-by-6 inches, over 365 days is less than 75 cents per day, Cook further emphasized.

“This cost covers organic materials, optimal durability, first-rate comfort and support. Could you, or your baby, afford any less?”

For more information call 805-379-2400 or visit www.snoozzzmattress.com.

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HEALTH VIEW 2

B U L L Y

V .

W I M P

Bully or Wimp?

—Striking the Husbandly Balance Wayne M. Levine

AS A HUSBAND, DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU’RE BETWEEN A ROCK AND a hard place, forced to decide between the lesser of two evils—damned if you do and damned if you don’t? If so, you haven’t considered all of your options.

When we’re challenged or pressured, feeling anxious or worried about pleasing, we tend to tighten up physically, restricting the blood flow to our brains and causing us to make less than ideal choices. This is where many husbands find themselves when a conflict develops, or when they’re feeling powerless, frustrated or angry with their wives.

It’s while in this debilitating state that men believe their only options are to either bully—getting what they want despite the collateral damage—or wimp out—walk away with their tail between their legs and their resentment intact.

We don’t need to make that poor choice. We should never have to choose between being a bully or a wimp. The solution is in learning that you have the ability to be a confident and caring husband in all situations.

Call it Like it Is You may not want to admit to being a bully.

It’s an ugly word. But you are being a bully when you’re relentless, coercive, insisting on being right, intent on changing her mind, threatening, withholding, badgering, intimidating, yelling, manipulating, and, of course, being physical in any way.

You’re a wimp when you’re afraid of disapproval, conflict, differences of opinion or of her tone or expression. You’re being a wimp when you’re not in your power, not confident, not compassionate, not loving, not clear about what’s right and wrong and not willing to take a stand.

Do These Examples Seem Familiar?

Ben is in one of the men’s groups I facilitate.

Ben thought he had a great marriage. His wife of five years, Lisa, felt differently. She wanted me to know what had been going on

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“You’re a wimp when you’re afraid of disapproval, conflict, differences of opinion or of her tone or expression. “

in their house—perhaps information Ben wasn’t revealing to the men in his group. They came in for some couples work.

Ben’s got a big personality, a very opinionated, A-type sort of guy.

Lisa is smart and confident but quiet. The louder he gets, the softer she gets. When he has a point to make, he won’t quit until she agrees. Lisa acquiesces because she knows Ben won’t quit.

At these moments, Lisa doesn’t feel heard, loved or secure. She feels bullied. She’s tried to tell him but he can’t hear it from her. I made sure he heard it from me, and it started to sink in. Ben was just doing what he had seen his dad do to his mom, though he had vowed to never be like his dad!

George, a coaching client, is not an A-type personality. He’s an engineer. He’s brilliant and emotionally disconnected. Like so many men, he lives in his head and would have a difficult time recognizing a real emotion. He’s afraid of his wife Paula and of intimacy. He’s so afraid of the possibility of her rejection, he hasn’t brought romance to his marriage in years. Sex? Fugetaboutit.

Over the years, George had convinced himself that Paula just wasn’t interested in him romantically. And then he went on to convince himself that an affair would be the most logical way to proceed. This is the kind of dialogue that takes place in the heads of these smart guys when they rely solely on their own counsel.

Because of his fear, neither he nor his wife had been getting what they needed from their relationship.

Although it took quite some time, George began to participate fully in his own life, and brought sex and romance back into his marriage.

Why Does This Happen?

You’re only a bully or wimp when you’re afraid. But when you’re in your power, when you’re coming from a confident and loving place, you’ll always find there’s a better option. Perhaps you won’t be able to resolve the issue in that moment. But you’ll know you’re capable of addressing the issue later when you’ve had a chance to think about it, calm down or ask for help.

Because of fear, neither Ben nor George had ever truly considered their options. They couldn’t. All they knew was what they had experienced in their parents’ dysfunctional homes.

But with help, they were able to safely confront themselves, their pain and their past. Once they did, better options began to reveal themselves. Then they were able to make some serious and wonderful changes to become better husbands and better examples for their kids.

At the end of the day, it’s not about striking a balance between being the bully or the wimp. It’s about having the courage to become a confident, loving, fearless and compassionate husband.

Wayne M. Levine is the director of BetterMen Coaching in Agoura Hills. He teaches men to be the best men, fathers, and husbands they can be through individual, couples and group coaching, both in the office and via phone. Wayne is also author of the best-selling book, Hold On to Your N.U.T.s—The Relationship Manual for Men. Find out more and get a copy of Wayne’s book at www.BetterMenCoaching.com.

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BEYOND GREEN LIVING

N A T U R E

Nature

Expand Your Reach into

By Jan Tucker

“Slowing down and practicing awareness can help us to determine how we want to relate to what we’re seeing and doing.”

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Professional Advice with a Personal Touch

LIVING A NATURAL LIFE IS SOMETHING MANY OF US ASPIRE TO BUT OTHERS REJECT AFTER BEING EXPOSED TO THE SAME INFORMATION—the abundance of media messages about climate change, the importance of sustainability, the emergence of green products on our shelves, and all the things we know and need to know about how going against nature is damaging to our future existence.

We’ve all seen so much information on this subject that it can be hard to understand what natural living is. The good news is, it’s possible to keep things simple—and the purpose of this new column is to help you live a natural life simply—so you can enjoy it.

David W. Machacek

Where to Begin?

I brainstormed dozens of ideas related to natural living and since I am a yogi living a yoga lifestyle—the spiritual yoga rather than the physical yoga—my list is quite extensive. It is based on the yoga principles I hold dear (the first one being to simplify, by the way).

That said, the concepts I will introduce in this continuing column are not unique to yoga. During the past 23 years of my spiritual journey I have always embraced a concept I was compelled to include from the very start—I place a high value on the similarities in all the world’s religions and among all people.

In my mind, this is one of the first natural concepts. We all live on the same planet, sharing the same land and oceans with each other and with the plant and animal kingdoms. We have common needs, we share common problems, and to focus on anything but our common ground seems very unnatural. In fact focusing on our differences has led to major world problems.

Creating a peaceful world where we live and work together in harmony, respecting all people, is a natural concept that results from this perspective on life. We don’t all have to agree, and we will never all achieve everything we want at the same time. But living naturally is about having compassion for and honoring all living beings. It’s about creating a better world where we can all improve our lives through each other’s mutual support. It’s about living by the truth. Isn’t that a great vision?

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Call today for your COMPLIMENTARY Financial Health Check Up!

Other Key Concepts of Living Naturally Our world is so very complex and so are our lives. Multiple responsibilities pull at us from all directions. We keep our own stress levels so high that our health is affected. At this point what do we do?—we keep going! That’s not the best answer.

Living naturally is about returning to the basics and simplifying—about slowing down to enjoy life more—it’s about going within to reflect on what is really important. continued >>

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BEYOND GREEN LIVING

N A T U R E

“

We need our contact with nature and we can take even simple steps to get it.

Developing an awareness of this will help make sure we strengthen our connection.”

Realizing needs and wants are two different things and then prioritizing the list goes a long way toward settling us into a more natural lifestyle. We can do this.

The key is to realize the need to do this before we create more harm.

It’s in the bag!

Mark your calendars…starting July 1st many grocery stores in the Los Angeles area will charge 10 cents per grocery bag if you forget to bring your own.

What’s that? You don’t have any? Well, we got you covered. Get your free bag at the YHC Spring Into Health Expo, Sunday, April 21st at the Hyatt Westlake. See you there!

We have lost our connection with nature—specifically, with the natural world outside our homes and offices.

Some of us even live surrounded by buildings and asphalt with perhaps a few trees lining the sidewalks and a park or two. Connecting more closely with nature helps our soul to connect with its source.

If you’ve been indoors even for a short time and you go for a hike in the woods or on the beach—anywhere outdoors—you can feel your body and mind healing from the contact. You can feel your mind and your soul expanding and your body wanting to slow down to take it all in. We need our contact with nature and we can take even simple steps to get it. Developing an awareness of this will help make sure we strengthen our connection.

We can adopt practices to help us live more naturally. Regular exercise and meditation come to mind. Even a few minutes each day is a great start if we’ve been pushing too hard. We need quiet time to slow down and unwind, and at other times to process what we’ve experienced on the outside before we take in more.

Slowing down and practicing awareness can help us to determine how we want to relate to what we’re seeing and doing.

Exercise, of course, keeps us in better condition and if we combine it with a trip outdoors the benefits multiply.

What about our health? There are a multitude of ways to care for our health from a proactive, preventive stance rather than waiting until we have a symptom and taking steps to fix it. From the food we eat to the amount of sleep we get to our general outlook on life—there are

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A unique blend of Chiropractic & Acupuncture at

many natural ways to achieve better health. YHC Magazine already covers this topic so thoroughly.

Then there are the plethora of chemicals our bodies deal with in our environment—both inside and outside of our homes. It’s known as the body burden.

But we have control over the products we choose to use, including personal care products and cosmetics; food; clothing and furniture; household cleaners, solutions, and equipment; paints and pesticides; lawn and garden products; and even items for our pets. If we purchase these items consciously, we can replace most of the chemical-laden products with truly green natural ones and live a whole different kind of healthy natural life.

So much of returning to nature can be based on learning from knowledge gained in the past. We have thousands of years of tested worldwide wisdom from which to draw. Certainly the development of technology is based on past discoveries and experience. Technology isn’t the only area where we can benefit from past knowledge. We can develop natural processes, products and remedies based on past knowledge, too.

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As individuals and as nations we need to open our hearts and minds to this ancient wisdom, to the wisdom of our older generations both alive and long gone, in order to draw on their knowledge and practices rather than reinventing the wheel.

In many cases the wheel has already been invented. It’s much wiser to learn from mistakes that have already been made and corrected than to make the same mistakes over when trying to recreate the wheel. Let’s look back and use the knowledge of our ancestors and our older generations to help us live more naturally. We can truly thrive if we make this a commitment.

Each month I will provide helpful information about how to create your own natural life—together we’ll improve the world.

Jan Tucker is founder of White Lotus Living, Inc., whose vision is all about positive thinking, returning to basics, tuning in with nature, unifying the world with compassion, and through all these principles—ultimately—world transformation. It’s about truth. www.whitelotusliving.com is also a place for consumers to learn about and gain access to truly green, natural products.

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NATURAL APPROACH

G L U T E N

S E N S I T I V I T I E S

P A R T

and

1

Autoimmune Disease

Gluten Sensitivity DO YOU HAVE AN AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE (AD), A CHRONIC ILLNESS OR UNRESOLVED CONDITIONS? You may have gluten sensitivity or intestinal permeability.

Intestinal permeability can lead to gluten sensitivity and gluten sensitivity can lead to intestinal permeability.

By Dr. Sharon Norling

“AD is one of the top 10 leading causes of death in female children and women in all age groups up to 64 years of age.”

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“

There are no requirements for gluten-containing food products to be labeled as such.

If a person with the disorder continues to use gluten, they increase their risk of gastrointestinal cancer by 40 to 100 times that of the normal population.

Gluten is found in ketchup, beer, alcohol, bran, imitation seafood, chewing gum, soy sauce, commercial salad dressing, sauces, salsa, artificial food colorings, canned vegetables, horseradish sauces, instant hot drinks (coffee, tea, hot chocolate), rice syrup, soups (both canned and frozen), bouillon cubes, MSG, sausages, food stabilizers and the list goes on.

In addition to wheat, other grains such as spelt, kamut, barley and oats contain gluten. Other foods can cross-react with gluten causing our body to react.

Gluten may also be found in some cosmetics, hair products, other dermatological preparations and envelope glue.

What Should You Do? If you have been diagnosed with gluten sensitivity, I highly recommend you seek support and information from a nutritionist who can guide you through the maze of the gluten food territory. The risk of continuing to be ill, developing severe brain and body dysfunction or getting an autoimmune disease is not worth guessing what items contain gluten.

A person may have gluten sensitivity and not have celiac disease. Celiac disease is defined as a genetic disorder with HLADQ2 or HLA-DQ8 (two major celiac disease genes) and gluten intolerance affecting one in 133 people.

“

Gluten sensitivity can develop antibodies which create tissue autoimmunity and has been shown to create autoimmune diseases.

Perhaps you have been tested for gluten and the test came back negative. Often conventional labs are not comprehensive enough and report false negatives. New comprehensive specialty labs can now diagnose gluten sensitivity with much more accuracy.

Many people have severe reactions to gluten but do not have the gene variation. The classic symptoms of celiac include diarrhea, weight loss, bloating and malnutrition. If a person with the disorder continues to use gluten, they increase their risk of gastrointestinal cancer by 40 to 100 times that of the normal population.

According to the American Autoimmune Related Disease Association (AARDA), one out of 12 men and one out of 9 women have AD. The statistics represent cases of actual AD.

An individual can have gluten sensitivity and not have gastrointestinal symptoms or enteropathy. A recent article in Lancet Neurology (2010) reported gluten sensitivity can not be associated with celiac disease or intestinal destruction but can cause harm to the brain and nervous system leading to diverse neurological malfunction.

Through laboratory testing and research we know that autoimmune disease can exist in the early silent stage with positive antibodies but without any significant loss of self-tissue.

Identifying the cause of the inflammation and treating it can help prevent serious illnesses.

What Is Gluten All About?

We hear so much about gluten today. Why now? The problem is related to our food and lifestyle! Our foods have been genetically modified, hybridized and processed. We are also exposed to more toxins, pollutants, and demanding lifestyle schedules.

Gluten is a protein found in many grains which is sticky, gives elasticity to dough and makes food products chewy. Most people identify breads and pasta as sources of gluten.

When they avoid these, they may think they are gluten-free but in truth, gluten is almost everywhere.

About Autoimmune Diseases Our immune system protects us from invasion by infections, abnormal cells and foreign substances. However, it can malfunction and autoimmunity is the result.

Gluten sensitivity can cause tissue autoimmunity in the brain, thyroid, pancreas, cardiac, joints, liver, skin, adrenals and stomach. The antibodies can be diagnosed using specific specialty labs such as Cyrex Laboratories (www.cyrexlabs.com).

The longer the person with gluten sensitivity continues to eat gluten the more likely they are to develop other ADs. The need to avoid gluten is not an option.

Autoimmunity is progressive. First, people lose tolerance to their own tissue and elevated antibodies can be detected.

Then destruction occurs that causes subtle symptoms but not enough to be diagnosed as AD. Finally, the tissue destruction is significant enough to cause loss of function. At this point, labs and imaging detect changes and AD is diagnosed. The earlier the diagnosis and the earlier the intervention the better the outcome. continued >>

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NATURAL APPROACH

G L U T E N

S E N S I T I V I T I E S

P A R T

1

Intestinal Permeability

Gluten Sensitivity and Gluten Cross-Reactive Foods

According to AARDA, “The National Institutes of Health (NIH) estimates 23.5 million Americans suffer from AD and the prevalence is rising. In comparison, cancer affects up to 9 million and heart disease up to 22 million. Researchers have identified 80 to 100 different ADs. These diseases are chronic and can be lifethreatening. AD is one of the top 10 leading causes of death in female children and women in all age groups up to 64 years of age.”

Further, “Commonly used immunosuppressive drugs lead to devastating, long-term side effects. According to the Department of Health and Human Services’ office of Women’s Health, autoimmune disease and disorders ranked number one in a top 10 list of the most popular health topics requested by callers to the National Women’s Health Information Center.”

Common ADs include: • • • • • • • • • •

Hashimotos thyroiditis Diabetes Lupus (SLE) Rheumatoid arthritis Multiple sclerosis Sjogren’s syndrome Myasthenia gravis Scleroderma Autoimmune hepatitis Antiphospholipid syndrome

Tips for Prevention AD is complex but there are some things you can do to help prevent it and keep the symptoms from recurring. First, avoid or remove the triggers. Monitor your antibody testing.

Importantly, avoid excess stress, physical overtraining, insomnia, low blood sugar, gluten, infections, and toxic relationships.

A lifestyle that includes laughing, loving and appreciation is the best prescription. Enjoy a positive attitude, some exercise, good sleep, stable

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Autoimmunity

blood sugar, hormonal balance and healthy social interactions.

All these help to decrease inflammation which supports a healthy immune system. Use appropriate supplement support and consider glutathione, an antioxidant which is critical for a healthy immune system as indicated by recent research.

Get tested for gluten sensitivity using Cyrex Labs or another specialty lab. The conventional routine labs often report false negatives. If you are positive for gluten sensitivity have a lab test that tests cross reactivity so you are not using other grains as a substitute such a quinoa or millet if you are reactive to them, too. Importantly, also test for specific autoimmune antibodies before you develop serious health conditions and full-blown ADs. Don’t overlook this and don’t be overlooked. There is a root cause to your symptoms. The answer is first in the testing and then avoiding gluten.

Dr. Sharon Norling brings a lifetime of education, training and passion in both conventional and natural medicine. Using specialized testing she finds the root cause of symptoms and illnesses and uses effective natural medicine whenever possible. For more information on these topics please see her book, Your Doctor Is Wrong. Her practice is in Westlake Village. 818.707.9355.

NOTE: Dr. Norling has no financial interests in Cyrex labs.

Dr. Norling will be presenting Gluten 1 on March 5th and Gluten 2 on March 19th at 6:30 pm RSVP at www.drsharonnorling.com.

ENVIRONMENT

T H E

R E F I L L

S H O P P E

“Making little tweaks” is the key to successfully changing lifestyle habits.

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The Refill Shoppe Saving the Planet Can be Fun!

By Bianca Martinez // Photos by Jeff Sloane

THE REFILL SHOP OPENED ITS DOORS IN 2010 AND HAS BEEN MAKING A DIFFERENCE ON A COMMUNAL AND GLOBAL LEVEL EVER SINCE. Michelle Stevens’ brilliant idea for a greener world has been beautifully executed with taste and style. Her concept is simple; the everyday products you use from cleaning to body and hair care, you can refill vs. purchasing new product and packaging every time you run out.

You can bring your own pre-cleaned bottle to the store or you can choose one of the many varieties offered to begin your refilling journey.

When you visit The Refill Shoppe you are in for a treat. Artistically displayed eco-friendly products can be found around the store including ways to green your eating habits with bento boxes, tiffins, “snack dittys” and alternatives to plastic zip baggies. Many of the products offered are only found online so its great to be able to see and touch before you decide to make a purchase.

There are also colorful varieties of canteens and re-fillable water bottles as an alternative to plastic.

Michelle and I talked about how her environmental awareness evolved. She said that growing up on a boat had an impact on her, not just the alternative lifestyle part of it but the connection to the water and wildlife. A big motivational factor and inspiration for her business is her love for the Earth. She feels a deep concern for the levels of pollution going on in our world today but was quick to say that she never uses any guilt-based tactics to lure people into the store. Michelle feels that “Making little tweaks” is the key to successfully changing lifestyle habits.

The best thing about her concept of refilling is that it is fun! Michelle and her staff can help you find delicious blends of scents from an abundant list of essential oils and fragrances. You can also get boosters added such as Aloe Vera for extra moisturizing.

Some of the essential oils include Jasmine, Cedar Wood, and Chamomile just to name a few.

The Refill Shop is more than just a retail store; it contributes to a more connected community. I asked Michelle what the future holds and she replied that she plans to open more stores in cities that would embrace the concept. Not only providing them with an earth-friendly consumer alternative but to create little hubs of energy and like-minded people to connect, share ideas and make new friends.

You can visit the Refill Shoppe at its new location 313 E. Main St. on the sunny side of the street in Downtown Ventura. For a complete list of products, services, essential oils and fragrances visit therefillshoppe.com.

Bianca Rose Martinez is an artist, public speaker and author of the book Compassionate Eating: A guide to Conscious Consumption for Mind, Body Spirit & Planet.

She also teaches organic vegan cooking classes in Ventura. For free recipes, class schedules and other services, visit www.compassionateating.com.

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MIND & SPIRIT

R E F L E C T I O N

O F

Y O U

Do You Know That Your Partner is a

Reflection of You?

By Bruce Derman, PhD

MANY PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THEIR PARTNERS AS THOUGH THEY ARE LESS THAN THEMSELVES IN SOME CORE WAY. This is the primary reason the divorce rate is so high, since only unequals split apart. In support of this unequal perspective, many people present a picture of their relationships as being essentially an accident, like their coming together was a total mystery to them and everyone else.

Some also claim that they are the essence of intimacy and just happened to end up with an intimacy cripple. Others are very preoccupied with the differences between the sexes, as described by John Gray in Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, in which women are seen as being into intimate relationships and men are only into tasks and sports.

Have you ever looked at a couple and thought, “Why are they together? They seem so different.” You were probably viewing some superficial quality and missed seeing that they are together because they are the same. The differences were just a façade.

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Only people who view their partners as unequal at a core level divorce. Couples with a mutual perspective hardly ever divorce.

In my work, I consider all conclusions about partners being so different as myths that distort a true understanding of intimate relationships. Despite all the variations in personality styles among couples, I want to share with you even if you don’t want to hear it—you can only be with your match.

The partner you are looking at across the table is merely a reflection of your relationship nature—no more, no less—or you wouldn’t have the energy to sustain any involvement. If you are only open to experiencing fear to a moderate degree, then you will only match with people who are at that level.

This is true regardless if you are dealing with brief relationships, unavailable people, or high drama individuals. Eckhart Tolle, the author of Stillness Speaks and The Power of Now states, “Ultimately…there is no other, and you are always meeting yourself.”

So, if you keep having relationships with alcoholic men who need rescuing, it is because you are not ready for more than a little boy, since you are in truth a little girl who wears a caretaker disguise. If you keep having relationships with narcissistic women who dump on you, it is because you are a little boy who doesn’t think he deserves better. These relationships are not wrong or even unsuccessful; they are merely statements of who you are and who you are open to meeting.

Very few of us have an interest in you, especially if you have been together for several years, have the same capacity for intimacy and share the same level of emotional development as you.

In my opinion, if you were truly different in your emotional capacity you wouldn’t be together and would display what I call loving disinterest. There would be no fighting, debating or arguing—just no interest.

This view is difficult for many to accept, because seeing your own limits is so exposing and revealing. Very few are willing to be that transparent.

“

Couples who can support mutuality tend to make real agreements, not sloppy ones.

A real agreement involves saying “yes” on all four levels: mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual.

“

The Truth About Relationships

If you are so convinced that you are better than your partner, you need to ask yourself why you are with them. Or why are they hanging out with you since you devalue them or don’t love them?

I call this verbal and emotional preoccupation, the difference game, in my book, We’d Have a Great Relationship If It Weren’t for You. In the difference game, any task, perspective, or activity can be used to prove we are better or less than our partners: “I love you more; I am more sensitive and open; I am brighter; I have better judgment; or I am more successful.”

Switching to Equality Imagine if you dropped this ego attachment and no longer participated in this difference game. You would then have time to listen, love, share, and be sexual much more than you have known in your relationship. Of course, you would no longer be able to use your partner to inflate or deflate yourself, and you would be on very unfamiliar territory.

To see if you are ready for this, imagine saying: “She loves me as much as I do her.”

“He is just as open as I am.”

“He is just as vulnerable as I am.”

“She is just as interested in me as I am in her.”

It’s more typical to make up a story about yourself and your partner so you can feel impressed with yourself. After all, it sounds good to hear that we could have a great relationship if it weren’t for the behavior of our date, wife, or companion. Rather than accept the humbleness of seeing that you are no better than your partner and that they are merely a reflection of you, some spend enormous amounts of time and energy proving that they are better or less than their partner.

If you can make comments like this without hedging, then you are ready for an equal and mutual, intimate relationship with your partner. However, if you hedge or justify in any way, there is still room for you to continue playing the difference game and maintaining a non-mutual attitude.

Being accountable for your relationship and giving up being a victim and clinging to justifications such as, “I am with him because there is no one better,” or “I am still here because of the children,” takes courage. continued >>

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MIND & SPIRIT

R E F L E C T I O N

There are two major characteristics of a mutual relationship: 1. Real agreements–Couples who can support mutuality tend to make real agreements, not sloppy ones. A real agreement involves saying “yes” on all four levels: mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. While it requires a greater commitment, these agreements stand up over time and don’t need to be continually repeated.

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2. The We—A mutual relationship consists of three parts, in contrast to the presence of only two in unequal relationships.

These are your needs, your partner’s needs, and the needs of the relationship itself. Allowing for the relationship to have its own integrity, called The We, helps couples to be grounded, open, and respectful. From this perspective the couple continuously approaches conflict by asking what would best serve the couple’s love and needs. When The We is present, shared statements typically are brief, inclusive and never contain put-downs.

Benefits of the Mutuality Approach By integrating the mutuality approach into your relationship, the two of you will experience a softening of your respective armors, as you leave behind your proving and defensive postures.

From this place you will regard the other as your equal at the core.

Couples who learn to be with their partner with a mutual attitude have considerably less desire to fight, put the other down or be distant. When you realize your partner is an equal reflection of you, there is no need to protect yourself and the doors of true intimacy are wide open.

Also, you will no longer be emotionally reactive to your partner, going through the constant shift of moving closer and moving away from each other. In this common dance one of you moves toward the other and then automatically the other moves back and away.

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O F

Y O U

At a certain point when the distancer starts to feel anxious and insecure, they start to move forward until they can feel secure again about their partner’s interest and then the game shifts again.

The sad part of this repetitive dance is that the couple is never able to achieve any lasting closeness, since both partners see the other as a threat.

All this movement reactivity dissipates when the couple sees their sameness in being equally afraid, as well as in their desire to be close to each other. When they can achieve that awareness they no longer need to protect themselves in this circular chase and can enjoy the stillness of being close to their partner.

Something to Ponder Only people who view their partners as unequal at a core level divorce.

Couples with a mutual perspective hardly ever divorce. Have you ever heard anyone say, “He’s just as emotionally available and loving as me and I want to divorce him?” I think not.

In recognizing their mutual equality, a couple no longer needs to use their differences to elevate or deflate themselves. They can now accept and integrate all their differences into the rich tapestry of their intimate relationship. The reflection they once feared is transformed into a powerful picture of their love.

Bruce Derman, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice for 44 years, with offices in Woodland Hills and Santa Monica. He is the author of three books including, We’d Have A Great Relationship If It Weren’t For You. He is known as the relationship doctor, since he specializes in all stages of relationship from dating, to beginning a relationship, sustaining a relationship and learning to divorce with dignity. He will appear on The Ben Show on Comedy Central starting February 28, playing himself. Visit his website www.therelationshipdoctor.net, email Relationdr@aol.com, or call 818.375.7194

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E N D O M E T R I O S I S

Serious Cramps or

Endometriosis?

Important to Find Out

By Denise Noyer-Erez, L.Ac. FABORM

ENDOMETRIOSIS AFFECTS 5.5 MILLION WOMEN AND GIRLS IN THE U.S. In most cases this can be a very painful reproductive and immunological disease in which the endometrium, the uterine lining, moves outside the uterus and implants in other areas of the pelvic area.

Women affected by this disease often describe their symptoms as “killer cramps.”

Endometriosis affects 10 to 15 percent of women from adolescence to post-menopause.

Identifying the Disease Endometriosis tends to be accompanied by the following common symptoms: • Very painful periods.

• Painful ovulation.

• Heavy or irregular periods.

• Pain with intercourse, urination or bowel movements.

• Infertility.

The cause of endometriosis is not clear, but it has been strongly linked to immune system dysfunction and exposure to dioxins and other toxic chemicals that accumulate in the fat stores of fish, animals and people.

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“For some women with mild symptoms, doctors may suggest taking over-thecounter medications for pain.”

A Variety of Treatments Treatment of endometriosis can be mild to aggressive depending on the person’s symptoms, goals and age. For example, some women may want to manage their pain while others are concerned about preserving their fertility. The treatment for women who plan to have a baby may differ greatly from treatment for those whose main complaint is pain.

Following are some of the treatments used for this disease.

Pain medication. For some women with mild symptoms, doctors may suggest taking over-the-counter medications for pain. These include ibuprofen (Advil and Motrin) or naproxen (Aleve). When these medicines don’t help, doctors may prescribe stronger pain relievers.

Hormone treatment. When pain medicine is not enough, doctors often recommend hormones. Hormone treatment is best for women with small growths who do not have bad pain.

Birth control pills may be prescribed to decrease the amount of menstrual flow and prevent overgrowth of the tissue that lines the uterus. Once a woman stops taking the pill, she can, of course, become pregnant. When stopping the pill, the symptoms of endometriosis return.

GnRH agonists and antagonists greatly reduce the amount of estrogen in a woman’s body, which stops the menstrual cycle. These drugs cause side effects similar to menopause such as hot flashes, bone loss and vaginal dryness. The difficulties with endometriosis may disappear for months with these treatments.

Surgery is usually the best choice for women with severe endometriosis who have many growths, a great deal of pain or fertility problems. Both minor and more complex surgeries can help. Your doctor might suggest one of the following: • Laparoscopy treatment can be used to diagnose and

treat endometriosis. During this procedure, doctors remove growths and scar tissue or burn them away.

The goal is to treat the endometriosis without harming the healthy tissue around it, and to relieve pain. If the endometriosis is interfering with attempts to become pregnant, often this procedure can correct this problem as well.

• Laparotomy or major abdominal surgery involves a

much larger cut in the abdomen than laparoscopy.

This allows the doctor to reach and remove endometriosis growths in the pelvis or abdomen.

• Hysterectomy is a surgery in which the doctor removes

the uterus and sometimes the ovaries. This is done when the endometriosis has severely damaged these organs and should only be considered as a last resort.

continued >>

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EAST~WEST

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E N D O M E T R I O S I S

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• Over ten years of experience using bio-identical hormone replacement therapy

Research shows acupuncture is very effective in helping women and girls with this condition by significantly reducing pain, decreasing inflammation and regulating the menstrual cycle.

• Specialized testing for metabolic factors • Hormone balancing

One study published in the European Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology and Reproductive Biology, November 2010 (Epub August 2010) confirmed that 86 percent of the women in the study had considerable results within 10 acupuncture treatments.

• Nutritional supplementation • Lifestyle changes (individualized diet and exercise) • Stress management • Education • Judicious use of medications as required Dr. Hilda Maldonado is board certified in Internal Medicine and additionally she is a diplomate of the American Academy of Regenerative and Anti-Aging Medicine.

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1240 Westlake Blvd., Suite 133 Westlake Village, CA 91361 Phone / Fax: 805.496.6698 www.drhildamaldonado.com

Dietary changes are also very important and necessary for someone with this condition. The first priority is to minimize PCB and dioxin exposure and consumption at home and in the workplace. A thorough detox program along with an anti-inflammatory diet is recommended to assist the body in decreasing the accumulation of metabolic waste.

Suggested dietary strategies are to: • Avoid red meat, as it contains arachiconic acid which increases inflammation and pain.

• Increase green vegetables such as kale, Brussels sprouts and broccoli.

• Add spices having anti-inflammatory properties such as turmeric, ginger and flaxseed.

• Avoid sugar, caffeine and alcohol.

• Minimize or avoid dairy products since they can increase inflammation and pain.

• Take supplements such as fish oil from an approved source (you need to watch mercury levels).

As you can see from the variety of approaches, there is hope for patients with endometriosis. Seek help from your doctor or qualified holistic practitioner if you have symptoms.

Denise Noyer-Erez, L.Ac., FABORM Founder and President, DENISE NOYEREREZ, L.Ac. & ASSOCIATES ACUPUNCTURE & INTEGRATIVE MEDICINE Licensed Acupuncturist, Denise Noyer-Erez, completed her Master’s of Science and clinical internship in Oriental Medicine at Emperor’s College in Santa Monica, California. She received further training in acupuncture at the International Acupuncture Academy in Beijing, China. Prior to that, she had studied at Cal State University Northridge, focusing on exercise physiology. Denise is also board certified in Oriental Reproductive Medicine, and a Director and a Fellow of the American Board of Oriental Reproductive Medicine.

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Denise is Founder and Clinical Director of her acupuncture and integrative medical clinic, where she and her staff are devoted to the health and wellness of their patients. Denise works closely with local doctors, including obstetrician/gynecologists, reproductive endocrinologists, urologists and other physicians and specialists. She and her team are committed to excellence and caring for each person individually and compassionately.

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FROM THE HEART

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T H R E A D S

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O F

A W A K E N I N G

Threads of Awakening —Buddhism in Art

By Alicia Doyle

IN 1992, AFTER A FEW MONTHS IN INDIA STUDYING BUDDHISM and living among Tibetans, Leslie RinchenWongmo chose to formalize her commitment to the Buddhist path and was given a new name.

“Rinchen-Wongmo is my Tibetan name—it means Precious Empowered Woman,” she explained. “For Tibetans, names can change several times in a lifetime. When great obstacles are encountered or significant changes take place in one’s life, it’s not uncommon to ask a lama for a new name. This shows a deep respect for the power of words and an awareness of the fluidity of identity.”

Discovering Her Purpose Her name, Rinchen-Wongmo, was given

by Geshe Sonam Rinchen, the Tibetan lama with whom she took refuge in the Buddha’s inner path of freedom and well-being. “Taking refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha is, in layman’s terms, the formal act of becoming Buddhist,” she said.

For as long as she can remember, “I had always been drawn to an Eastern spiritual view. It simply felt natural to me from an early age, but I had no specific practice.”

She had experienced Transcendental Meditation, as well as seeing the Dalai Lama in college during his first visit to the United States. “When I met Tibetan culture on my first trip to Ladakh, I felt I’d found a family to add to my already wonderful family in the U.S.” “Living among the Tibetans for nine years, I was Rinchen-Wongmo,” she continued. “I learned to make thangkas as Rinchen-Wongmo.”

Today, Rinchen-Wongmo is known for her thangkas, a Tibetan word referring to sacred pictorial scrolls. For her, this involves creating a particularly rare type of thangka which renders sacred Buddhist images and portraits from pieces of silk stitched together by hand.

The Buddhas A maker and teacher of sacred textile art, Rinchen-Wongmo has created numerous thangkas including a Medicine Buddha, also known as Healing Buddha. “I was moved to make this thangka as my mother entered chemotherapy and many friends and loved ones encountered health problems and loss.”

In Buddhism, the Buddha is often referred to as a physician because he prescribes the treatment for overcoming the disease of mental affliction.

“In that sense, all Buddhas are healing buddhas,” Rinchen-Wongmo said. “But this particular form, deep blue in color and holding a medicinal plant, is specifically associated with healing physical

ailments that can be obstructions to spiritual progress in this life or to the longevity conducive to making the highest use of this life.”

“The traditional images are supports for meditation and spiritual practice,” she explained. “They are rich in symbolism connected with a philosophy and practices aimed at waking up to our true nature, acting compassionately and ending suffering.”

Evolving Her Skills and Teaching In her apprenticeship, she learned to create these traditional images out of silk, and she continues to create them on commission. “But now, I also use the same techniques to create portraits of real people, incorporating various methods of photo printing and machine quilting. Up to now these portraits have been of people in the Himalayan Buddhist world because that’s what continues to inspire me. Their sincerity, hardiness, and closeness to the earth’s rhythms move me.”

Her teaching program, the Stitching Buddhas Virtual Apprentice Program, is now the focus of her energies.

“I teach spiritually-oriented, fabricloving women the skills I learned in apprenticeship to Tibetan masters along with modifications and adaptations I’ve learned through my own experience,” she explained. “In a sixmonth course conducted through the Internet, they learn the fundamentals of Tibetan appliqué and produce their own silk lotus.”

Many students then choose to continue into a self-paced practice stage in which they apply their nascent skills to projects of increasing intricacy. “My most advanced students are now beginning to make their own thangkas after three or four years of practice and gradual adoption of new skills,” RinchenWongmo said.

Growing up, she was always visual.

“I took painting classes as a child. I designed puppets and stage sets and put on puppet shows for the neighborhood kids as an even younger child. I created scrapbooks of family vacations before scrapbooking was popular or defined. I was also the class and thespian historian, creating scrapbooks for those groups, and made posters for events and campaigns in school.”

In college, she studied environmental design, which led to a graduate degree in urban planning and management and work in housing and community development.

“I had intended to get an architecture degree but had back troubles. I realized I wouldn’t be able to take the long hours over a drafting table and switched courses,” Rinchen-Wongmo said.

In the same time period, she was learning to quilt and loving it. “That, too, was derailed by my bulging spinal discs. So for a decade, I was doing other things until, while serving as an economic development volunteer for the Tibetans in India, I saw my first silk thangka in production. I fell in love with the colors, the fabrics, the texture, and the connection with my spiritual path. I just had to start stitching again.”

Shortly afterward, she entered a full-time traditional apprenticeship with a Tibetan master. “Working alongside several young Tibetan women who didn’t speak any English, day in and day out for four years, I learned to stitch like the Tibetans do and create these vibrant—both in color and energy—sacred images.”

Her Work has Meaning For Rinchen-Wongmo, this style of art is a merging of her spiritual study and practice, combined with her playful joy and creativity.

“I love that the images I create with my hands have helped many very special people to become free of suffering and to teach others about their true nature,” she said. “I love being connected with them through these images and through this sacred creative practice. And I hope that in my small way, I can open people’s hearts with my work, that I can provide some stimulus or inspiration for their awakening.”

“Students tell me this work makes them more attentive and aware, and that this awareness spreads to other areas of their lives,” Rinchen-Wongmo said.

“They say that it’s calming and centering, but also enlivening and delightful.

They notice their own patterns come up in the face of the fabric and thread. The work is more challenging than they expect. There’s a deep sense of satisfaction in the creation.”

For more information on the teaching program, visit www.stitchingbuddhas.com To see more of Rinchen-Wongmo’s art and sign up for Weekly Wake-Ups, visit www.threadsofawakening.com.

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COMPASSIONATE EATING

M c G R A T H

F A M I L Y

F A R M

“Phil has stayed true to his beliefs that farming can and should be done as sustainably as possible.”

McGrath Family Farm

– A Living Heritage

By Bianca Rose Martinez

WHILE DOING RESEARCH for my new book project, Organic Ventura, I had the pleasure of meeting several local, organic farmers in the County and visiting their beautiful farms.

This fertile patch of Southern California is blessed with some of the richest soil in the world, not to mention the incredible climate.

In all my years of living here it was hard to believe I had not visited McGrath Family Farm in Camarillo or fully appreciated the living heritage right here in our communal backyard.

Phil McGrath is a fourth generation farmer. His family’s farming lineage goes back to their great-grandfather who originally purchased the land back in 1868. Although the farm has been divided and portions sold over the years, the essence has remained the same—hard working people dedicated to producing wholesome food while shunning harsh industrial practices that use pesticides, genetic modification, herbicides and other harmful chemicals.

McGrath stands alone as one of the only certified organic farms in Ventura County. While surrounded by conventional farms in the fields and at Farm Bureau meetings, Phil has stayed true to his beliefs that farming can and should be done as sustainably as possible. We had much in common with our shared passion for healthy food and environmental awareness.

Good Reasons to Visit the Farm The ability for McGrath’s family to continue to play this important role in our community hinges on the awareness and the willingness of people to make the conscious choices to support local, organic agriculture.

Conventional farming often does not look ahead regarding environmental or social consequences future generations will have to face. Most conventionally-grown produce is shipped out of the County and even out of the country and does not actually feed the local community. This system might be good commerce but is it sustainable long-term?

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We owe it to ourselves to keep this living heritage alive. Not only will this help us appreciate our own history, it will provide security knowing future generations will have access to safe, healthy food and the ability to touch the life-giving essence of the earth.

McGrath Family Farm is located on West Ventura Boulevard just off of the Central Avenue exit. The country store, where you can purchase some of the tastiest, freshest produce you’ve ever had, is open daily from 9 to 6. McGrath Farm also sells organic produce at farmers markets in Santa Monica, Camarillo, Topanga Canyon, Hollywood, Beverly Hills and Pasadena.

Next time you are driving down the 101 allow yourself to experience the beauty and rich history McGrath Family Farm has to offer (and pick up some inspiration for dinner too!)

For farmer’s market locations, CSA info, farm tours and more, visit www.mcgrathfamilyfarm.com.

Bianca Rose Martinez is an artist, public speaker and author of the book Compassionate Eating: A guide to Conscious Consumption for Mind, Body Spirit & Planet. She also teaches organic vegan cooking classes in Ventura.

For free recipes, class schedules and other services, visit www.compassionateating.com.