Staff Page
Reporters: Shanine Fischle, Ashley Gebo, Elizabeth Tompkins, Roberto Manjarrez, Cora Kendrick Editor In Chiefs: Carl Little & Alexandria Stolze Nikki Vinson: Columns Editor Danielle Rinker: Entertainment Editor Jennifer Mertel: Sports Editor “Journalism can never be silent: that is its greatest virtue and its greatest fault. It must speak, and speak immediately, while the echoes of wonder, the claims of triumph and the signs of horror are still in the air.” -Anonymous
Faculty Advisor: Scott Kennedy
photography by Alexandria Stolze
Letters From The Editors
As of now it is clear that the school year has come to a close. Some talk about summer exploits, nostalgic discussions of events in past summers and predicted events in the future. All of this brings back memories of a childhood that all of our generation shared. The nineties, for better or for worse. A special section of our hearts is left in that time, preserving fond memories, fads and all the manner of things. This issue has provided a bevy of bloodcurdling challenges. The mad rush to finish it before the end of the year, the fact that our staff responsibilities have shifted about wildly. One can call unexpected circumstances a challenge, a nuisance, but why not call it an opportunity. An opportunity to improve yourself and your capabilities. We know this opportunity has done wonders for us. Being the newly promoted editors in chief was not something that we had expected but now that we have settled in and learned to live and even enjoy the responsibility, our entire perspective on this publication has changed and we have got to say it is for the better. So examine your own lives. Take the challenges, take the pain, take the effort and grow. That is our challenge to you and we are expecting results.
Editor-in-Chief: Carl Little
Editor-in-Chief: Alexandria Stolze
photographed by Danielle Rinker
Table of Contents Co-Curricular/Sports Atletic Highlight: Austin Turner Danielle Rinker & Jennifer Mertel Boys Baseball Danielle Rinker & Jennifer Mertel The Best Buddies Club Danielle Rinker Beards on Campus Carl Little Survey Page: What Grade Would You Go Back To and Why? Alexandria Stolze Sea of People Carl Little
Entertainment The Origin of Fairy Tales Alexandria Stolze OpinionNation Nikki Vinson Blast From the Past! Alexandria Stolze Top Ten Tech Roberto Manjarrez Hats Off to the Movies! Alexandria Stolze Games of Gods David Idiart Red Dead Redemption Carl Little Band Highlight: ROFLCOPTER Cora Kendrick
photographed by Alexandria Stolze
News Nicotine Need Liz Tompkins Wacky Holidays Jennifer Mertel TOMS Shoes Cora Kendrick Apple iPhone/iTouch Apps Shanine Fischle
photographed by Alexandria Stolze
photo from google.com
photographed by Alexandria Stolze
photographed by Cora Kendrick
Austin Turner has been playing sports his whole life. He has been rockin’ the bat ever since T-ball. But baseball is not Austin’s only sport. He has also played club soccer, basketball, and at one point he was part of the swim team. This multi-talented sports star plays all three outfield positions for YHS Boys Varsity Baseball Squad. Austin says he chose to stick with baseball because this is a baseball town, and with baseball he has more of a chance to succeed because of the great club team. “Sports are pretty much my life,” he says. Also, he plans on getting a degree in sports medicine when his baseball days are over. However, he is not giving up baseball for good. Even though his dream is to go to the big leagues, he is willing to stick with baseball as long as he possibly can, even if that means “playing in an adult league with a bunch of elderly people,” he jokes. Austin is a well known student throughout the campus, and he is known for his great personality, high spirits, and his kindness toward others. Many students would agree that he is one of the nicest guys. “Nobody’s perfect and there is always room for improvement,” Turner says. Though there are many challenges he has to face every day, he still tries to succeed. Whether it be a certain type of pitch, getting better at a position, or just trying to do well in school, Austin Turner can always be seen trying his very best.
Athletic Hig hlight: Austin Turn er by Danielle
Rinker & Je
nnifer Merte
l
Boys Baseball
by Danielle Rinker & Jennifer Mertel
As the competition rises each year, the Yucaipa High School baseball team keeps getting better and better. The team made league and was ranked fourth in the nation at one point. Last season they had an incredible record of 27-3 and also went to playoffs, won the Chino tournament, and won the USA classic tournament in Tennessee. This hard working group of young men are ready to play this season and be on the top. Their goal this year is to win in the CIF championship! While practices are long and hard, Coach Jeff Stout, who is also finishing his thirty-fourth season of coaching the Yucaipa baseball team, pushes the boys to the best of their abilities and makes the players as good as they possibly can be. “This year’s team is a very talented and exciting team to watch,” says Coach Stout. Their practices require hard work, mainly toward specific skills for each player. As for preparing for a game, it’s different each time. This all depends on the scouting report and how skilled the other team is that they are playing against. This group of twentyfour players are all equally skilled. Everyone does their part to help the team’s reputation and help themselves become better. “This baseball team has an excellent coaching staff and excellent kids. They’ve worked really hard to prepare for the season and it will be fun to see
how far they will go,” says Mr. Anderson, our Yucaipa High Sports Director. Though the players are comfortable with this year’s performance so far, there is always room for improvement. It takes the skills and technique to make it big. Stout told the Yucaipa News Mirror “We have a good chance of winning league and if we play defense, we will advance in the playoffs. We have a team with good character.” This year’s captains are Wyatt Padgett and Grady Espinosa. Starter pitchers are Tijuan Walker, Kevin Davidson, Garrett Hicks, and Pedro Cota. Cota was the pitcher for the team last year and stands with an amazing record of ten wins and no losses. His skills are attracting lots of professional attention. As for Walker, this star player is expected to be drafted this season. He also has professional scouts watching him each game. Players like having scouts watching them, because they step it up even more. They also like the idea of being thought of as having so much talent. “After being fourth in the nation the year before, it seems like we have a target on our backs!” says our varsity captain, Espinoza. This season is going to be a great challenge and is going to require hard work from everyone of the players. The competition is tough knowing how desperately the other competitors want to beat Yucaipa. The Junior Varsity team this year is already off to a great start. Some of the star players for the J.V team this year are Jake Miller, catcher, and Greg Espinosa, short stop. “I’m very encouraged by the performance of the Junior Varsity this season”, states Coach Dave Matuzak. It seems as if this team is already on the right track and is going to go far this season. Yucaipa’s baseball team is ranked high in the nation, and really wants to win the CIF championship. each one of these young men to become better until they are the best they can be.
The Best Buddies Club
by Danielle Rinker
photographed by Danielle Rinker Many people may not understand what the Best Buddies club is or what it’s for. The Best Buddies Club is a support group devoted to improving the lives of kids with intellectual disabilities by providing opportunities for both enriching one-toone friendships and integrated employment. A lot of people are involved in this club, and it really is a great thing. The Club was originally founded nationally by Anthony K. Shriver. The club is active in each of the fifty United States, as well as many other places and is composed of 6 programmatic divisions. Best Buddies has a very positive impact on a least 350,000 people a year. Anyone can join Best Buddies. The people, who join, however, should be committed and aware of the feeling of others. Every late start day there is a best buddies meeting and at each meeting, different subjects and scheduled events are discussed. The club has assemblies for the school. They also provide a Best Buddy’s prom and dance. The dance is where all the clubs join together from different places and schools. The club also hosts a talent show to raise funds, attends awesome field trips to fun places, and also has something called The Festival of Friendship. This is a walk to also raise funds, for
example, breast cancer research. Meeting many of the members of the club was really enriching. They were all very nice and wonderful to talk to. Some of the young boys and girls that I got to talk with were Dakota Tucker, Atziri Alvarez, Larissa Cordova, Tony Miner, Cameron Prins, Crystine Thomas Madina, Carl Speaks, and Sandra Hernandez. Each and every one of these kids is assigned a “buddy.” What their buddies are to just be their friend and spend time with these kids inside and out of school. Being faithful to the members and the club, meeting up with them at least twice a month outside of school and once a week during school hours, having patience, and just being kind are very important keys that each Buddy should imply. They are called one-to-one buddies. Another kind of buddy is called an Associate Buddy. This kind of buddy is not being a specific buddy to a specific member. His or her job is to be everybody’s friend and help everybody out. Is this a strong club and strong group of kids? “Yes, its helps them to not be judged, and being their friend helps them be a part of the school community,” says Emily, the club president.
The Battle of the Beards written by Carl Little, photographed by Danielle Rinker
The beard is a rare and elusive creature, often attempting to fight its way to the surface of faces. Many regularly crush the efforts of this ever unique growth with edged weapons of various shapes and sizes. But as you have likely seen or taken part of yourself there are brave individuals who welcome the presence of the symbiotic scruff that is the beard. Our talented crew of beard watching photographers here at the Epigraph have spent hours upon hours stalking these hairy entities and risking their very lives taking candid pictures for your very enjoyment. This is not to say that beards are a “hidden” aspect of our society but simply a section not always taken into account. They come in all shapes and sizes, textures and colors. Different clans have their own call signs and names. The goatee has maintained its popularity throughout the years along with the likes of the chinstrap moustache as well as the most common simple beard. The fight for dominance is never ending but a drop of blood is never spilled. It is a battle of show not power, and predicting a definite winner is nigh impossible. We can simply observe or participate. Take a seat wherever you please and look upon the great and grand Battle of The Beards
Cameron Lyons:
Joey Ortegon: 9th grade. 9th was the start of our high school year, where we were on our own campus before we really got a taste of what high school was.
Lauren McLeod: Well, I wouldn’t want to go back to the past. I was a very different person then. I’ve changed too much to go back and have things be the same. Memories are golden.
8th grade. 8th was my favorite year so far because everyone was friends with each other. I had classes with all my friends and the teachers were legit and there was no drama.
“What Grade Would You Enjoy Going Back to and Why?” interviews & photography by Alexandria Stolze
Tyler Wolfe & Derek Hoshek: Riley Dandy: 8th grade. 8th grade was when you were old enough to be considered a ‘young adult’ and young enough to get by with mistakes. There was a lot less to worry about.
Karleigh Perez:
4th grade. In 4th grade we could run around the playground shooting imaginary Kindergarten. I would want to go back to blasts at each other while playing Dragon kindergarten because that was the age that Ball Z without getting strange looks from you could walk around with paint on your our classmates, because they would be face, mismatched clothes, and the wrong playing with us. shoes on each foot and still be the coolest kid on the playground...(in your mind) haha!
Sea Of People photography by Carl Little
“Our society’s values are being corrupted by advertising’s insistence on the equation: Youth equals popularity, popularity equals success, success equals happiness.” -John Arbuthnot Fisher
Features
The Origin of Fairy Tales So haven’t you ever wondered what those classic fairy tales are really about? Almost every tale that Disney has produced on another story that was published sometimes centuries earlier. Some were changed drastically to be made “child-appropriate,” but the original content many times has a different tone entirely. First of all, Snow White is a very well known tale, or as the Grimm’s called it, Little Snow White. This story simply varies in intensity rather than content. The queen would ask her mirror every day “mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?” and usually it would reply with “you are the fairest one of all, my queen” but one day, it said “You, my queen, are fair; it is true. But Little Snow-White is still a thousand times fairer than you.” Infuriated, the queen sent her huntsman out to find this “Little Snow White” to kill her, and as proof, to bring her little Snow-White’s liver and lungs so she could salt them and eat them. The huntsman found Snow White, and was about to kill her with his knife, but she pleaded and said she would run away and never come back. With pity, the huntsman let her go and killed a wild boar and served the lungs and liver to the queen. The next day the queen asked her mirror and the mirror said the same thing as before: “You, my queen, are fair; it is true. But Little Snow-White is still a thousand times fairer than you.” The queen was angrier than before, and went to find Snow-White herself disguised
by Alexandria Stolze
as an old woman. She found Snow White at the seven dwarves house and offered to give Little Snow White a boddess. The evil queen tied it so tight, that Snow White couldn’t breathe and collapsed on the ground. Satisfied, the queen left. The dwarves came back and untied the boddess and snow white was no longer unconscious. Still dissatisfied, the queen came back dressed up as another stranger. Snow-White was hesitant, but saw that the woman brought no harm. The queen brushed her hair with a poisoned comb, and Snow White lay unconscious once more. The dwarves saved her a second time and told her to never open the door again. But the queen came back once more and offered Snow-White an apple, and to prove that it was harmless, the queen also took a bite of it, so Snow White took it and once she bit it, she collapsed to her death. Upset, the dwarves came home and couldn’t revive her. After giving up, they put her in a glass coffin, for she was still “as white as snow and as red as roses” and didn’t look dead. The prince found this coffin and was so enticed with her beauty he took the coffin home with him. One day, his assistant got so angry with him because he had to bring the coffin with him everywhere, so he sat it upright and slapped Snow-White’s back as he yelled at the king. As this happened, the bit of apple stuck in her throat came out and she was alive again. The prince was so happy and they fell in love and got married the very next day. The queen was so upset she came to their
matching one and slipped both on effortlessly. The prince knew this was his wife, and they lived happily ever after.
wedding and put a pair of iron shoes into the fire until they glowed, she had to put them on and dance in them. The queen feet were terribly burned, and she could not stop until she had danced herself to death.
The original story of “Sleeping Beauty” is actually known as “Little Brier Rose,” and it is nothing like the Disney version we all know and love. A king and queen wanted so much to have a child, but they were both unable to conceive. So one day while the queen was bathing, a crab came out from under her and said “your wishes will be fulfilled” and the next day she conceived a baby girl whom they named Rose. The king was filled with excitement so he threw a huge gathering and invited all the fairies in town, all but one. After the 11th gave the baby her gift, the 13th one came in angrily and said “Because you did not invite me, I tell you that in her fifteenth year, your daughter will prick herself with a spindle and fall over dead.” The twelfth fairy then gave them her gift, which was that she would not die, but she would fall into a deep 100-year sleep. Horrified, the king then ordered all spindles in the country to be destroyed. The princess grew up to be beautiful and one day when she had just turned 15, her parents left her in the castle all alone. Following her hearts desires, she found an old tower. A narrow stairway led up to it. Being curious, she climbed up until she came to a small door. There was a small yellow key in the door. She turned it, and the door sprang open. She found herself in a small room where an old woman sat spinning flax. She was attracted to the old woman, and joked with her, and said that she too would like to try her hand at spinning. She picked up the spindle, but
Everyone knows the story of Cinderella, but do they know the story of “The Cinder Maid”? A wealthy man and his wife lived in a great mansion by the royal palace. They conceived a child named Cinderella. A while after, the wife became ill and on her deathbed she told their daughter to plant a tree on her grave and if she ever wanted anything, all she had to do was shake the tree and she would be given anything she wished. A few years later, the man remarried an evil woman with two greedy children. They treated poor Cinderella like a worthless maid and the man was so helpless and couldn’t do anything about it. One day the prince decided to throw a ball to meet a woman whom he shall marry. He didn’t find anyone at first, so he decided to throw another one. The birds called to Cinderella and asked if she would like to dance with the prince. When she said yes, they told her to go to her mother’s grave and ask the tree for nice clothes. The prince met her and fell in love with her but at midnight she disappeared so in attempt to find her, he threw another ball and she did the same. With frustration, the prince threw several balls after and at the last one, Cinderella lost track of time. The prince had his guards spill tar over the entrances so she couldn’t escape. She realized the time, and with the clock’s bells ringing midnight, she fled but with the tar, her shoe got stuck and she had to leave it there. This time the prince was angry, so with this he took the shoe and went around to every house in the town in search for his one true love. Once he got to Cinderella’s house, the step-sisters tried on the shoe and it didn’t fit either of them. The eldest sister was frantic and in last minute, she cut off her big toe and a little off her heel so she could fit the shoe. She tried the shoe again, and since it fit, the prince was obligated to take her to the palace and marry her. While in the horse carriage, a bird flew overhead and shrieked “Fake! Look yonder and see the trail of blood behind you for she has cheated!” With that said, the prince went back to the house and asked if there were any other women in the house. The father pulled out Cinderella and told her to try. To the sisters’ amazement, the shoe fit her perfectly and she pulled out the
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no sooner did she touch it, than she pricked herself with it and then fell down into a deep sleep. Because of this, everyone including the horses and townsmen fell into a deep sleep as well. Princes, who had heard about the beautiful Brier-Rose, came and tried to free her, but they could not penetrate the hedge. It was as if the thorns were firmly attached to hands. The princes became stuck in them, and they died miserably. And thus it continued for many long years. One day a prince walked through the forest and heard the rumors of the other princes who tried to penetrate the rosebush and had died. Fearless, he went in search of the princess and when he came to the rosebush it blossomed into beautiful flowers. He went through it and found the princess and fell in love with her beauty. He was so in awe, he bent down and kissed her, which then awoke her. They fell in love with one another and lived happily ever after. “Little Red Cap” is actually very similar but yet very different to the story we know as “Little Red Riding Hood.” An old woman and her granddaughter were walking through the woods and the grandmother told her to come back later and bring her soup. On Little Red Cap’s way back, she met an ogre. The ogre wanted to join her but he took a different route on the way there to trick the little girl. The ogre found the grandmother, killed her, then ate her, then spread her insides all around the house. Little Red Cap came to the house and
pulled on her grandmother’s intestine and said “Grandmother! This thing is so soft!” and the ogre replied with “Be quiet and pull it. That is your grandmother’s intestine.” “What did you just say?” “Be quiet and pull it.” The same thing happened when the ogre convinced her to eat her grandmother’s teeth, jaws, and drink her blood. Little Red Cap got tired and the ogre told her to come into bed with “her” and take her clothes off. Once under the covers, Little Red Cap noticed her grandmother was hairy, had long legs, long arms, big ears, and a big mouth. Once she pointed out he had a big mouth, the ogre replied with “That comes from eating children!” and ate her in one gulp. Beauty and the Beast is originally known as the “The Summer and Winter Garden”. A merchant was going to a fair and asked his three daughters what he should bring back to them. One wanted a dress, another wanted pretty shoes, and the last wanted only a rose. The rose was the hardest to find, considering it was winter and there were no flowers to be seen. But since she was the most beautiful, he said he would try his best. On his way home, he had the first two gifts, for he could not find a rose that would grow in the snow. But alas, he found a mighty castle with a summer and winter garden. Half of the garden was bright and beautiful flowers were blossoming everywhere. The other half was dark and covered with snow. He was overjoyed to see a rose
so he picked it and headed off. Behind him he heard running and panting for there was a big black beast who yelled after him, “Give me back my rose, or I’ll kill you!” The poor merchant tried explaining that the rose was for his beautiful daughter, the most beautiful girl in the world. The beast told him he could have the rose if he gave him his daughter for a wife in return. In order to get rid of him, the merchant said yes; the beast said he would come back in eight days to claim his wife. Keeping his promise, the beast came back eight days later and grabbed the youngest daughter for his own. The black beast carried the beautiful maiden to his castle where everything was beautiful and wonderful. Musicians were playing there, and below there was the garden, half summer and half winter, and the beast did everything to make her happy, fulfilling even her unspoken desires. They ate together, and she had to scoop up his food for him, for otherwise he would not have eaten. She was dear to the beast, and finally she grew very fond of him. Something inside her told her that her family was not well, so the beast let her go back home for only eight days and no longer. transformed into a handsome prince. They got married, and the musicians began to play again, and the summer side of the garden appeared in its splendor, and the black cloth was all ripped down, and together they lived happily ever after. Sounds weird, right? The stories we know and once adored as children are based on horror stories filled with gore and misery, opposed to the common prince and princess theme as portrayed in “Snow White”. If a children read these when they were little, they would have been mortified. Snow White had no happy, singing dwarves, cleaning animals, or a heroic prince. Instead it focused on a sick and twisted witch queen, a stupid and naive Snow White, and a conceited and arrogant prince.
photography by Alexandria Stolze Cinderella had no happy fairy godmother who turned pumpkins into carriages or talking mice who helped out Cinderella when in need. The original story had a magic tree, and a stupid father who let his wife whip him instead of sticking up for his daughter. Sleeping Beauty had no evil queen or a dragon. It focused on persisting princes, luck, and evil fairies. Evil fairies? Poor parents. The Grimm’s version of Sleeping Beauty made no sense, really. How can princes still fight for the princess against a poisoness rosebush when everyone fell into the same deep sleep as Briar Rose? The world may never know. Little Red Riding Hood is just ubsurd. How little was Red Cap to be so naive as to not question what she was eating and whatnot. Her grandmother’s teeth? intestines? This ogre is nothing like Shrek, that’s for sure. No one has a happy ending in this story. No huntsman comes to save Riding Hood or her grandmother. Instead the ogre eats everyone after tricking them to eat teeth, jaws, and blood. How sick. Beauty and the Beast is the only story that was pretty much the same as the original. The only difference is that Beauty isn’t an only child, and there isn’t a greedy and sexist man named Gaston who asks for her hand in marraige, and attempts to kill Beast. But yes, Beauty and the Beast fall in love and live happily ever after.
The End
OpinioNation What do think about the freshman coming to the High School next year? Mrs. Seaton- “I believe it is a step in the right direction. Granted, the district is navigating through issues. Such as accomodating everyone at lunch and relieving congestion with student drop-off and pick-up, but im sure they will develop solutions. We will still have a smaller student population than nearly every other neighboring school district, so I don’t see the problem. Ninth granders are high school students too and should experience as the 10th-12th grade students. This will be a great change in our district.” Niki Gilbertson“I don’t like it because it’s going to be really crowded!”
Ryan Bruck“I think we don’t have the room around school. What are they going to do about lunches, make three?”
Meagan Montgomery“Personally, I don’t like it too much. It’s already too crowded, it will just make things worse than they already are.”
Camille Stewart“I think it’s dumb, they should just stay at the ninth grade campus because we don’t have enough room here.”
Blake Fish“The freshmen will cause the already overpopulated campus to become over pact and put more strain on the school budget, than closing the ninth grade campus will save.”
Bethany Martin“I feel that it is not practical for a school of our size and we have already had a good system, so why re-invent the wheel?”
Blast From The Past! What was popular from the ‘90s by Alexandria Stolze Top 25 popular hits from the ‘90s 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25.
Jewel – Who Will Save Your soul? Joan Osborne – What if God Was One of Us? Marcy Playground – Sex and Candy The Cardigans – Lovefool Sixpence None the Richer – Kiss Me Chumbawamba – Tubthumping Counting Crows – Mr. Jones Deep Blue Something – Breakfast at Tiffany’s Fiona Apple – Criminal Lisa Loeb – Stay Lou Bega – Mambo No. 5 Sugar Ray – Fly Sheryl Crow – All I Wanna Do Britney Spears - Hit Me Baby One More Time Reel 2 Real – I Like to Move It MC Hammer – U Can’t Touch This Cher – Believe Vengaboys – We Like To Party Right Said Fred – I’m Too Sexy Savage Garden – Truly Madly Deeply Len – Steal My Sunshine Ricky Martin – Livin La Vida Loca OMC – How Bizarre Eve 6 – Inside Out Third Eye Blind – Semi-Charmed Life
Popular Fashions of the ‘90s 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15.
Fanny Packs Dickies Flower Pot Skirts (Skirts over pants) Body Glitter Capri Pants Hawaiian Print Shirts Jelly Shoes Loony Toon T’s Overalls Plastic Rubber Bracelets Jennifer Aniston (Rachel from Friends) haircut Toe-Rings Watch Rings White Hairbands Sequins
Top 30 TV Shows from the ‘90s 1. Rosie O’Donnel 2. Friends 3. Seinfeld 4. Rugrats 5. Rocket Power 6. AHH! Real Monsters 7. Ren & Stimpy 8. Rocko’s Modern Life 9. Invader Zim 10. CATDOG 11. Angry Beavers 12. Loony Toons 13. Courage the Cowardly Dog 14. Bevis and Butthead 15. All That 16. The Amanda Show 17. Powerpuff Girls 18. Doug 19. Hey Arnold 20. Spongebob 21. Out of the Box 22. Blue’s Clues 23. Little Bear 24. Pepper Ann 25. As Told By Ginger 26. Are You Afraid of the Dark? 27. Double Dare 28. Fresh Prince of Bell Air 29. The Smurfs 30. The Wild Thornberries
by Roberto Manjerrez
Hats Off to the Movies! by Alexandria Stolze Phil and Claire Foster are a sensible, loving couple with two kids and a house in suburban New Jersey. The Fosters have their weekly “date night” – an attempt at re-experiencing the spice of the dates of yesteryear, involving the same weekly night out at the local Teaneck Tavern. Their conversations quickly drift from barely-date talk to the same chore-chat they have at the dinner table at home. Exhausted from their jobs and kids, their dates rarely end in fore- or any other kind of play, let alone romance. After seeing two of their best friends – another married couple with kids in suburban New Jersey – split apart from living the same life they themselves lead, Phil and Claire begin to fear what may lie ahead: a state of bland indifference and eventual separation. In an attempt to take date night off auto-pilot, and hopefully inject a little spice into their lives, Phil decides a change of plans is in order: take Claire into Manhattan to the city’s hottest new restaurant. The Fosters, however, don’t have reservations. Hoping to be seated sometime before the clock strikes twelve, they steal a no-show couple’s reservations. Phil and Claire are now the Tripplehorns. The real Tripplehorns, however, it turns out, are a thieving couple who are being hunted down by a pair of corrupt cops for having stolen property from some very dangerous people. Forced on the run before they’ve even finished their risotto, Phil and Claire soon realize Three years after settling down with the woman of his that their play-date-for-parents has gone awry, as they embark on a wild and dangerous series of crazy adventures to save their lives--and dreams, a former government assassin discovers there’s a price tag on his head, and that his number could be up at any their marriage. minute. Spencer Aimes (Ashton Kucher) was the man the government called on when they needed someone taken out on the sly. Fast, clean, and efficient, he always got the job done, and enjoyed the many perks that came with traveling A domesticated Shrek hatches a plan to recapture his mojo and the globe in search of his targets. But somewhere amidst all discovers what life in Far Far Away land would have been like of the fast cars and exotic women, Spencer fell in love with had he never existed in this final chapter of the popular animated Jen Kornfeldt (Katherine Heigl), a carefree computer expert film series. There used to be a time when the villagers would run on the mend from a relationship gone sour. Flash forward in terror at the mere mention of the name Shrek, but these days three years, when Spencer and Jen are happily married and the big green ogre is married to Princess Fiona and raising triplets. living the domestic dream. Maintaining your fierce public persona is no simple task when On the heels of Spencer’s you’re juggling infants and changing diapers, so when Shrek 30th birthday, he and his realizes that nobody is afraid of him anymore he recruits mischiefhappy wife discover that maker Rumpelstiltskin to restore his once-mighty roar. Unfortutheir life of bliss could nately for Shrek, that plan hits an come to a violent end at unexpected hitch. As a result, the any second -- someone has morose monster takes a trip into an put a multi-million-dollar alternate-universe Far Far Away land contract on Spencer’s life, where there is no Shrek, and Rumand the hired killers who pelstiltskin reigns. There, Donkey have been tracking him spends his days hauling carts, and a could be anyone. Time is portly Puss in Boots prefers loungrunning out for Spencer, ing to swashbuckling. Perhaps with a and as the race to uncover little extra effort, Shrek will be able his assassin intensifies, so to regain his status as top ogre in too does his paranoia. With his in-laws making life misertown and still have his happily ever able and the threat of death lurking around every corner, after, too. Spencer struggles to maintain appearances while staying out of the crosshairs, and keeping Jen safe from harm.
Games of gods written by David Idiart, photographed and edited by Carl Little
The game began. The board began to take shape. The players took their positions in opposition to each other. Jora, the One Who Brings Tranquility, considered his pieces carefully. He possessed five worlds, it seemed. With only fifty ships to defend them, he hoped he had time to prepare. Jora supplemented the people with a more aggressive demeanor. Soon, he saw growth, expansion. He watched excitedly as the people cultivated their fledgling interstellar empire. Industrial booms led to more innovative technologies. These led in turn to greater understandings of the universe. Jora was very proud. Continuing to watch, Jora did not notice Sixt, One Who Brings Light, approach. “Dearest and Honorable Brother!” Sixt exclaimed, “I must confess to some curiosity that has plagued me for some length of time: why fore art thou spying upon these creatures? Has not the game ended in mine own favor?” Jora turned and smiled at Sixt. “Dearest brother I do protest. Your infinite capacity for vanity and asinine remarks has shocked and astounded me. Why do you call the game finished? Is it not true that a game must have a victor before it is finished?” Now Sixt smiled and pointed at Jora’s people. “See you there, these fleeting whispers of embers. They are like the lightning: Gone ere it has appeared. Thy sparks of dim light will soon find a torrential rain to their peril.” Jora looked back at his people. They had grown in size, indeed colonizing three more worlds to sustain their swelling numbers. Yet a growing unrest had seized the populace. Where once a single culture had united them, now many began to clash. Some rewarded courage and honor, some trickery and deceit. Some even propagated sloth and ignorance, as opposed to ingenuity and wakeful activity. Jora gazed upon a culture at war with itself. So many
languages, yet none that a majority would use. So many faiths, yet all were simple facets of a whole. Jora was no longer proud. “They lack focus, perspective, a true direction,” Sixt noted, “These fleeting sparks have sinned against you! Thou hast given them a precious gift, and behold how they have squandered it, as pearls before swine! Intervene Dearest Brother! I beg of you!” Jora knew his brother. “Sixt,” his voice now panged with sorrow, “I cannot break the Rules of the Game. I shall not trespass upon that covenant, despite the hurt in my heart.” “Perhaps you cannot,” Sixt grinned a Cheshire grin, “Yet is that not why I am here?” and with that he vanished. Jora dolefully spied upon his poor children. Soon, it became apparent war was on their minds. Violence soon became the only recognized form of entertainment. Various worlds became independent states. It was only a matter of time. Then, at the edge of Jora’s awareness, an asteroid spiraled through space. Jora paid it little heed, anxiously awaiting the war to come. Without warning, the asteroid changed course, and in moments to Jora’s perception, leaped across a thousand light-years. The great extraterrestrial stone struck the central world of Jora’s people. The sound was as a loud drum, a singular beat which silenced all else. Even before the crust had fully peeled away, a second set of such drums rang across the various worlds. The guns of the fleets pounded each other with terrible force. Their guns blasted and shredded ships as if they were but tin foil caught by a hurricane. As the drums created a cacophony of discord, a single thunderous boom silenced the opera of destruction. Jora perceived the end to the violence as another world was rent asunder by another terrible asteroid. As confusion settled into the populace, the cause of such destruction soon became clear. At the edge of the people’s awareness, a cloud, a veritable storm of alien vessels flooded into their space. As another war began, Jora gazed into the distance, and with his mind’s Eye espied Sixt, seating himself upon a heavenly throne; its foundations, a cluster of dying worlds, blackened by overproduction. “Sixt!” Jora roared, “Thou wretched creature! Is thy poison already run its course in your people’s veins so that you would attempt to bloody mine own with its foulness?” Sixt sneered and tilted his head, his Iron Crown neatly set upon his brow.
Dearest Brother, how can you accuse me off such a malignant purpose? Was it not you who deigned not interfere with thy own people? Forsooth, I have saved you children from a fate worse than life itself! Would you wound me with such unkind words if I had let thy people die? At best under my care, they shall know a unified purpose.” Jora looked all about him at the sights and sounds. His people lay dieing, their worlds burned not only with flame, but hatred, hatred born out of sorrow for their loss, hatred born towards the cruel invaders, hatred borne from the thought that God had abandoned them. Jora felt his wrath well up within him. He became as a dam, ready to release his floodwaters upon all those who had murdered for no other reason except that there was something to kill. He lashed out then, the first sun of Sixt’s people combusted, a wave of inconceivable, furious flames spread as water dashed upon a rock. Jora watched as the oceans boiled and the air burned. And finally, he watched as the people ignited, their cries borne upon no wind, for there was none left. As the wrath welled up again, he stopped and looked back to his people. They were still dieing, still crying out against him, their foes, everything. He lost his rage. Now calm, Jora cast his power again towards those in his space. He would intervene this once. He opened his heart, becoming One Who Brings Tranquility no longer, but became Jora’Nill, One Who Loves, and from his heart flowed a passion for life, for love supreme in its scope so that not one of his people could hate any longer. They reached out to Sixt’s people with an open hand. They slowed, and then stopped. Sixt’s power flowed into them, a burning hatred for all things. Yet, when they could have destroyed Jora’s people, they did not. They took the outstretched hand. In their heart’s the people once dominated by Sixt’s will and malevolence, cast him off and dethroned him from their hearts. The mutiny threw Sixt into a rage, and he rose up now become Si’Don, One Who Hates. He raised his hand to smite those who had left him. Jora stood against him, and struck from his brow the Iron Crown and he became Sixt once again. “I was mistaken,” Sixt grumbled, “It seems, my Dearest Brother, that you have won this game.” As he turned to go and to sulk, Jora stopped him. “Brother, you have forgotten our most important rule: The Game Never Ends, the pieces only change.” And Sixt bowed before his brother’s wisdom, and as they departed, Sixt was heard to say: “Truly brother, this game was well played, yet as you said yourself, the Real Game never ends…”
Red Dead Redemption Review by Carl Little
The western genre of games has been at- I rushed over, cash in hand, and bought my copy. As
tempted on and off throughout the years with results going from decent to simply horrendous. For every decent western game there are many more that are simply crush the popularity of the genre. Dead Man’s Hand, GUN, the first Call of Juarez, are prime examples of how bad the theme can become. The general lack of success has driven developers and publishers away for the longest time but soon that time is coming to an end. Rockstar games, the company behind the coveted Grand Theft Auto series, has taken the reigns to the cult classic western Red Dead Revolver. With that in hand they revealed the sequel: Red Dead Redemption. Nearly every person in my knowledge that has learned of this game has shown a range of enthusiasm, from mild interest, to unhealthy excitement. As the date of release for this widely anticipated game drew closer I felt my days growing ever longer. The grit of the open world west was calling. In similar form as when I played Batman, Gamebreak was my source of enlightenment.
I arrived home, I tore the plastic wrapping asunder and immediately commenced playing. The first striking feature was the simplicity. There were no overly complex and stylized menus, no catchy theme songs just three options: Single player, multiplayer and a check for downloadable content. In the background was a tranquil landscape of a southwestern desert, with the sun’s position cleverly matched to my time of day in-game. The single player game began on a slow and simple note, the protagonist, John Marston, slowly making his way of a steamboat to the newly modernized town of Blackwater. Accompanied by two U.S. Marshalls all that is revealed to you is that you must do the government a service in return for something of great value. This “value” is the survival of Marston’s wife and kids.
Packed onto a train leading into the more wild parts of this fictionalized American west, John passes the time listening to the other occupants. With the cinematic presentation of a movie you get to listen to a few people talk of the events. More importantly it develops, for you, the opinions and hypocrisies of the time. Two rich women spoke of crooked politics with all the uppity snobbishness one could possess while a priest spoke to a naïve young woman about the damnation of all who do not strictly follow the lord. It was simply striking how immersive the first couple of minutes were. Polish was clearly shown in the making of this game, top notch voice acting and top notch animation surpassed even Batman: Arkham Asylum in bringing the characters to life. Before I knew it, the ride was over and I stepped out onto the stereotypical frontier town of Armadillo. A disheveled looking man greeted me and guided me to a horse. I was then swiftly guided to the task put forth by the Marshalls. This task in question involves the hunting and removal of Marston’s gang of outlaws, a life that he had tried to leave. At first I was wary of the direction of the game, so cut and dry but without spoiling anything I can say it takes you on a ride spanning all across the west, as far as Mexico, and across the Rocky Mountains. All of this leads up to an ending that can simply be described as mind blowing. The main story line is lengthy and filled with excitement but I often found myself drifting into the in-depth world that Rockstar created. The side quests filled up an insurmountable amount of time because of how addictive and well crafted they are. Simply riding around at random for five minutes will bring you some form of event or interaction. This is not to say you are forced, all side quests and random events are exactly that, optional. Riding down a dusty road I saw a stage coach robbery, the occupants screaming for help as they were held at gunpoint. The bandits in question, eyeing me, were waiting for a response. I rode on, the situation being too risky to my own well being. I felt a slight pang of guilt as I heard the crack of gunshots back in the distance. Situations such as this fill the landscape giving you a moral fork in the path, sometimes significantly stronger than others. A seemingly insignificant task can have repercussions further down: a discount at a store for catching a thief or a price on your head for shooting the wrong man in a seemingly bloodthirsty standoff. Of course, if nobody sees a crime, it did not happen. Immersion is the point at hand and Red Dead Redemption has it in spades. After a while roaming the west alone, making a living by selling animal meat and pelts to the local store I had a feeling that I had forgot something, the multiplayer experience beckoned.
Jumping into the online game was as simple as pressing start a few clicks and I was in. The same plains deserts and forests I traversed alone greeted me, no detail spared or removed. Other players roamed about doing their business for better or worse, I was quickly shot in the back of the head. I found myself in the free roaming mode of play, sixteen other players milled about tackling bandit hideouts together, hunting, killing, pillaging or waging war with each other. It struck me as barbaric, bullets flying about wildly. Soon I was no better, I had fallen into a posse with four other players and fought for the town of Armadillo tooth and nail for no other purpose than to take it. Minutes later someone started up an organized match, a seamless transition and we were all invited. Gang Shootout, or in other words team deathmatch greeted my screen. Before I knew it the sun was down in real life and there I was sitting on my couch, half pleased, half disappointed in for spending yet another day glued to the game. I set the controller down and placed myself at my computer determined to tell all of the experience had. All I can say is whichever system you have, PC, Xbox 360, or Playstation 3, grab this game as soon as possible. See you out on the plains.
10 out of 10
ROFLCOPTER
By Cora Kendrick
Jake Abernathie and Flint Lidar are two talented teens that created Yucaipa’s indie, acoustic, and experimental band named Roflcopter. They choose to play the genre indie because it’s portable, easy to play, everyone can relate to it, you can understand what is being said, and it’s easy to cover songs! “I feel like you can express more with it [indie], and it’s easy to express yourself”, said Jake. I asked the boys where the band name came from and they told me it was an inside joke. These two boys became best friends in their 9th grade health class and realized their shared interests. Music was the trait that stood out the most in both of them. Soon, Flint was filling in for a drummer in one of Jake’s bands. After a few jam sessions and hang outs, Roflcopter had come into the story. You can find their band page at: http://www.myspace.com/officialroflcopter Jake is usually the one who writes all the songs while Flint makes up beats to go with the song. They are usually being influenced by one another. Their songs are usually about people they know or things they see in life. Sometimes they won’t tell the people they are writing songs about that the song is about them, so you never know if one of their songs is about you! “Will we sell our souls to the oxidation? Will we wait until our tears cause us to drown? Rigid as the ground breaks down beneath you, uprooting all the time and hurting”. These are some lyrics to a song in progress, so expect it in the future! Also, they often have guest artists, so if you play anything or sing, hit them up! Their favorite place to go is to the beach to play gigs, “check out chicks”, and meet new people! They also go to and on occasion play at Redlands market night on Thursday nights whenever they can. Churches are also a show spot for them. All the tips they get either go to food or whatever they are saving up for at the time. Both of their favorite food is sushi, so you could imagine that it can get expensive. As far as I know, the main thing they are currently saving up for is a nice camera.
Jake Abernathie is probably one of the most musically intelligent and passionate person I have ever met. Music is his life, and there is no taking that away from him. Starting with forced piano lessons by his parents at the age of four, he discovered his ultimate love for music. He has been musically passionate for about eleven years and has been in the school’s band program for four years. He can play just about any instrument that you put in front of him. Jazzy is the way Jake likes it best. When associating with Roflcopter, he likes to use the brand Ibanez.
Flint Lidar is also a very passionate musician. To have to live a future without music in it, he claims he would kill himself. Being musically passionate for four years and being in the school’s band program for three. His dad, who is a musician as well, is the one who got him into this musical lifestyle. Flint plays anything that has to do with percussion. He prefers the brand Meinl when playing with Roflcopter. Other than music, he is a huge animal lover! Cats are his favorite.
They have merchandise thanks to Vanessa Alvarez, a current student at Yucaipa high school. She is a new designer and is still in the process of discovering her own style. Over summer she hopes to officially register her trademark, as well as, meet with manufactures and professional screen printers to get her shirts more publicity. Roflcopter is one of the first bands she has worked with, and these are some of the designs she has done so far..
Nicotine Need:
How a small child faces an adult problem by Elizabeth Tompkins
In the tiny Indonesian fishing village of Musi Banyuasin, learning to fish from your father is common. Learning to smoke, however, is not. Especially not at two years old. Ardi Rizal is not the only child on record that has been caught smoking, but perhaps he is the first to be so enthusiastic about it. He smokes two packs, up to forty cigarettes, a day. The boy was first introduced to the nasty habit by his father, thirty year old Mohammed, when the child was only a year and a half old. Now the boy throws vicious tantrums if not given his daily fix. The baby only smokes one brand of cigarettes, and it adds up, costing his family over three english pounds a day. The average income for a family in their province is sixty nine pounds a month. While other children run and play, little Ardi just sits on his toy truck and idly blows smoke, as he is too unhealthy to join in their games. Being unable to do normal physical activities has also had another adverse effect on him. He already weighs fifty six pounds, an unhealthy weight for a baby his age. At only two years old, this boy has an addiction. The government has tried to step in, with no success, even going so far as to offering the family a new car if they encourage their offspring to quit. Though the mother has made efforts to stop her childs habits, she gave up when faced with his wild tantrums, and gave in to his pleas and complaints. When asked about it, father Mohammed Rizal simply said, “He looks pretty healthy to me. I don’t see the problem.”
Wacky Holidays
by Jennifer Mertel
a Stolze
photography by Alexandri
Did you know that every day of the year is a national Holiday? According to Oshel.com, every day contains a wacky, funny, and completely outrageous holiday. For example, are you aware that November 8th is Dunce Day? Or that June 23rd is National Pink Day? You think that’s weird, well there are also such days like: Run up the Flagpole and See if Any one Salutes it day, National Hugging day, Be Nasty day, and Tell a Lie day. These holidays are completely random, but there are some that make sense such as March 14, is Pi Day, since Pi equals 3.14, and there are also some that don’t make sense such as National Pumpkin Pie Day is on December 25, which most of us know as Christmas. Shouldn’t it be National Present day instead? There are some really random ones like for example: Don’t Cry Over Split Milk Day, Do A Grouch A Favor Day, and National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day. Some students at Yucaipa High shared their opinion on what days should have what holiday. Such as April 20th should be National Plant Day, August 4th should be National High Five Day, and June 26th should ne national Shuffle/Dance day. What does it take to become a holiday? Well National Hillbilly Day is on July fourth, which is also more commonly known as Independence Day.
National Hillbilly is to describe people that usually live down south, and stereotypically known as “Hillbillys.” Hillbillys are different because they lack lots of manners, do things a weird way, and generally have their own way of life, this may be because hillbillys tend to live far from general population and kind of isolated. They were given a holiday because people of America, and more specifically people down south, wanted to have a day when they get the recognition they feel they deserved, and remembered that they are around. There are also days like Charles Dickens day, Amelia Earhart Day and Emma M. Nutt day, but why should these people get their own day? When Students at were asked who deserves their own day theses were said: “Bob Marley should have their own day because he is a very influential singer” As said By Jordan Garner. Another student says this: “Quentin Tarantino should have his own day because he has the most masterful mind” This was said by a junior named Austin Turner. Other students named The Beatles, Bradley James Nowell, and Show Tek. Even though these Holidays seem unimportant, but they do exist. And whether or not you choose to recognize them is completely up to you.
SHOES
Whoever thought that buying yourself shoes could save the world, or at least help a shoeless child? For every pair of TOMS shoes you buy a person, from a location of your choice, gets a pair of TOMS too! It’s called the TOMS One for One movement. This all started by an American traveler in 2006 named Blake Mycoskie. He first felt the need to start this business when he had visited Argentina and befriended many children. He soon discovered they had no shoes at all! He felt the need to help out in someway, so he created this movement.
by Cora Kendrick
story...), It was really cool to see all the other people that weren’t wearing shoes either, I didn’t know a lot of them, but I felt like we were part of a group. By the end of the day my feet were hurting and covered in dirt, but it was an awesome day and I am definitely thankful that I had the choice to not wear shoes, unlike many people throughout the world” - Thomas Leon
In recent news, TOMS had put on an event called “A Day without Shoes” on April sixth to help people realize how hard it could actually be without shoes. A handful of students at our school, Yucaipa High, actually participated in the event. There were many people all around the Inland Empire who participated.
“My day without shoes went pretty okay I guess, chillin’ in class was nice with the cool tile sort of soothing my feet after they had faced the harsh outdoor conditions, which really actually weren’t that harsh, I mean it was a little hot on some parts of the day on the asphalt. I tried to avoid areas that looked like they had lots of debris that could potentially be painful, so without wearing shoes I was made more aware of my surroundings and had to be cautious where I stepped to not hurt my feet. I kind of liked having no shoes it felt more free and I felt like a hobbit cause they beast it without shoes. There were a few times when I felt bad for my feet having to walk on campus because some parts are really nasty dirty like the quad with spilled food and other junk. I stepped in gum which was gross; also, I tried to walk on grass whenever I could because it felt so nice. I didn’t cut my feet up they mainly were just really dirty and sore. I also liked explaining the reason why I wasn’t wearing shoes and liked seeing others that weren’t wearing shoes. It was a good experience to see how it might be if you had no shoes like the kids that don’t have shoes. Some have to walk in areas that are far worse than our high school or downtown Redlands.” – Daniel Maurer
“It was a really awesome experience, the first thing I noticed was that the ground was really cold, and there was lots of gum everywhere, and I was trying to step on as little gum as I could all day, but I periodically thought how dumb it was I was worried about the bottom of my feet touching gum. (The spit was a different
You can visit TOMS shoe’s website by going to http:// www.TOMSshoes.com. You can order shoes from the website or go to our closest local store in Redlands that sells TOMS shoes called “Denim” located at 18 East State Street, Redlands, CA 92373.
Why are shoes important? Shoes aren’t only for fashion, they are also used as protection so your feet don’t get stepped on, scraped, or cut. If you get a cut on your foot and you are walking around barefoot, that makes your foot vulnerable to getting infections or could also lead to diseases. Whoever knew protecting yourself could be so comfortable? If you don’t think your shoes are comfortable, try on some TOMS. Also, some people are not aloud to participate in school if they don’t have shoes. This affects the education of the children all over the world when they could have the potential to achieve great things, but their lack of money to afford shoes stops them.
Apple iPhone/iTouch Apps by Shanine Fischle
There is much you can do with the iPod touch its hard to get bored. You can immerse yourself in action with games, you can entertain your self by getting creative, and you can keep your friends close with social networking. There are so many apps so many games at your fingure tips its hard to decide what to do next! The most popular apps seem to be games. There are all sorts of games you can play such as Assassin’s Creed, which you can travel back in time and go on an asssassin’s quest to end the crusades and find The Chalice. Or you can skateboard with your fingures and do ollies and kickflips with Touch Grind. A game called Trace seems to be very popular, you draw your own path and navigate past obsticles to get through the levels.
Tilt To Live is another one, and it kind of explains itself, the goal is to stay alive as long as possible by tilting your iPod. You can also get classic games like Pac-Man, Sudoku, Scrabble, Chess, Checkers, Touch Hockey, Solitaire, and so much more. There is an endless selection of apps you can have for your iPod. Like maybe you don’t like to text it takes to long you can get the Dragon Dictation and by using your voice it will text what you say for you, it is up to five times faster than a keyboard. Or if you don’t know what song is playing and you want to know, Shazam is an app that tells you what the song is and gives you the option to buy the track.
Last Look
Nostalgia: a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one’s life, to one’s home or homeland, or to one’s family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time