The Dinner Table by Yi Zhen

The Dinner Table Yi Zhen Leong

Who would and wouldn’t you invite to your dinner table? 04

Preface

10, 707 kilometres away, I’m sitting at the family

home for my family, it would have a negative effect on

dinner table through a tiny screen. My mom is

my mental health. Even more so during the pandemic

navigating technology while showcasing her

when it’s easy to isolate yourself, exacerbated by the

forehead. Yes mummy, you tap the bottom right

lack of external human contact.

corner. The camera flips. Through the creation of this book, it was really A round, dark green marble dining table comes into

insightful to gain different perspectives on the dinner

frame. It can barely fit the horizontal portal in my

table that I wouldn’t have learned about if I just stuck

hand, but the familiar feeling of joining my family

with my own experiences. This book is my attempt

for dinner swells in my chest. On the cold green slab,

to honour and give thanks to a piece of furniture that

dishes home-cooked by my grandma are already half-

has always been a silent spectator.

eaten – someone has already dug in, most likely my brother, but who can blame him?

The terms “dinner table” and “dining table” are used interchangeably. I’ve read that “dinner table” is more

The dinner table has always been in my periphery,

commonly used in the UK, while “dining table” more

blending into the background, and as such, easily

in the USA, but looking around, it doesn’t seem to fit

taken for granted. My attention has always been on

that well into such a divide. Another opinion sees the

the new afternoon snack my mom brought home,

“dining table” as describing a piece of opinion, while

or the variety of meals we’re having for dinner. It was

“dinner table” describes a place or event happening

only when I’m sitting at the other side of the world, for

at the dining table.

the absence of my dinner table at home, to highlight its presence. If there was no gathering spot in the

Preface

Quick History of the Dining Table

My Dinner Table

Ethical and Aesthetic Facets of Dining Tables

Table Talk

Sharon Bong

A Billion Homes

Table Talk

How to Eat Alone

Average Life of

Shaun Ting

(and Like it!)

a Dinner Table

116

122

110

Maker Q&A

Table Talk

Lain Furniture

Rooted Furniture

Aeslinn Noel

Table for Two

Table Talk

with Jien Min Ho

Table for One? Yes Please.

Qian Hui Ong

102

References

124

The world begins at a kitchen table. No matter what, we must eat to live. Joy Harjo, 1951 Perhaps the World Ends Here

Perhaps the World Ends Here

Joy Harjo

1951

The world begins at a kitchen table. No matter what, we must eat to live. The gifts of earth are brought and prepared, set on the table. So it has been since creation, and it will go on. We chase chickens or dogs away from it.

They laugh with us at our poor fallingdown selves and as we put ourselves back together once again at the table.

Babies teethe at the corners. They scrape their knees under it. It is here that children are given instructions on what it means to be human. We make men at it, we make women. At this table we gossip, recall enemies and the ghosts of lovers. Our dreams drink coffee with us as they put their arms around our children.

This table has been a house in the rain, an umbrella in the sun. Wars have begun and ended at this table. It is a place to hide in the shadow of terror. A place to celebrate the terrible victory. We have given birth on this table, and have prepared our parents for burial here. At this table we sing with joy, with sorrow. We pray of suffering and remorse. We give thanks. Perhaps the world will end at the kitchen table, while we are laughing and crying, eating of sweet bite. the last

Quick History of the Dining Table Writings from Fashion in Furniture, Laurel Crown and iNews

Gu Hongzhong Night Revels of Han Xizai, Five Dynasties Period (907 - 960)

Tables are one of the oldest and most basic forms

of furniture, and people have dined at them for centuries. Tables were made and used by the Egyptians very early, around 2500 BC. They were constructed with wood and alabaster, often a bit more than stone platforms used to keep objects off the floor, though a few examples of wooden tables were usually kept on large plates that were then placed on a pedestal to be eaten; the Egyptians used many small tables and elevated playing boards. The Chinese also created very early tables in order to master the arts of writing and painting, as did people in Mesopotamia. Round tables are the common choice in Chinese culture as it symbolises the blessings of reunion and harmony. According to historical records, the first time the Chinese used the round table was in the Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties. Prior to this, low square tables (several tables) were used for meals, and there were even no dining chairs or seats on the floor. Although it was born in the Wei and Jin Dynasties, the wellknown co-dining system and round table did not appear until about 500 years later. It was not until the Song Dynasty that the era of high tables and large chairs entered. In the heyday of Ming and Qing Dynasties, round tables began to become popular.

Quick History of the Dining Table

have been found in ancient tombs. Food and drinks

The Greeks and Romans made more frequent use

In the Middle Ages, upper class Britons and other

of tables, notably for eating, and Greek tables were

European nobility in castles or large manor houses

pushed under a bed after use. The Greeks invented a

dined in a room designated as the great hall. The

piece of furniture similar to the gueridon, which is a

great hall was a large, multi-function room capable of

small table supported by one or more columns with a

seating the bulk of the house’s population: the family

circular top. Tables were made of a variety of materials

would sit at the head of the table on a raised dais

including marble, wood, and metal, sometimes with

with the rest of the room’s inhabitants arranged in an

richly ornate legs. Later, large rectangular tables were

order of diminishing rank away from them. Tables in

made of separate platforms and pillars.

the great hall were typically long trestle tables with benches for sitting. The sheer number of people in the

Furniture during the Middle Ages is not as well-known

great hall would probably make for a busy, bustling

as that of earlier or later periods, and most sources

atmosphere. Some scholars have claimed that great

show the types of tables used only by the nobility.

halls were probably smelly and smoky, but in reality,

In the Eastern Roman Empire, tables were made of

these rooms had large chimneys and high ceilings,

metal or wood materials, similar to that of the Greeks

which would have allowed for an airy atmosphere.

and Romans, usually with four feet and frequently linked by x-shaped stretchers. Tables for eating were

The owners of large houses began to develop a taste

often large and round or semicircular. In Western

for more intimate gatherings in smaller “parlers”

Europe, the invasions and internecine wars caused

or “privee parlers” off the main hall. This shift is

most of the knowledge inherited from the classical

thought to be as much because of political and

era to be lost, and as a result, most tables became

social changes as it was to allow for a greater sense

simple trestle tables, though small round tables made

of physical comfort. Over time, nobility began taking

from joinery reappeared during the 15th century. In

their meals in the parlour, and the parlour became

the Gothic era, the chest became widespread and was

a functional dining room as we know it today. These

often used as a table.

parlours were often accessible via grand staircases that led from the dais in the great hall into the private

Refectory tables first appeared as early as the 17th

parlour. Eventually, meals in the great hall were saved

century as an advancement of the trestle table. These

for special occasions.

tables were usually quite long and wide, capable of supporting a sizable banquet in the great hall or other

Towards the beginning of the 18th century, a pattern

reception room of a castle.

emerged where the ladies of the house would withdraw from the dining room after dinner into the

drawing room. The men would remain in the dining

In the present day, dining tables are available in

room to have drinks, which resulted in dining rooms

different materials, shapes, heights, weights, sizes

taking on a more masculine tenor.

and styles. They have a flat surface for serving and

Today, a typical North American dining room will

round, oval or round in shape. Some dining tables

contain a table with chairs arranged along the table’s

have higher surfaces that call for specialised seating

sides and ends. If space permits, the room may also

which can be accommodated with the assistance

feature sideboards and china cabinets. Some tables in

of stools and high chairs. Tables having a single

modern dining rooms will often have a removable leaf

centralised foot are called pedestal tables. Many

to allow for a larger number of people during special

dining tables are standalone furniture objects while

occasions without taking up space when idle.

others need a supportive surface like a wall.

In modern American and Canadian homes, the dining room is adjacent to the living room, increasingly used only for formal dining with guests or on special occasions. For informal daily meals, most medium size houses and larger houses will have a space adjacent to the kitchen where tables and chairs can be placed. Larger spaces are often called a dinette while smaller spaces are referred to as breakfast nooks. Many homes also have a breakfast bar or an area on the island where chairs can be set for informal dining. For many families in Britain, the dining room is only used on Sundays and other meals are eaten in the kitchen. In Australia, the use of a dining room is still prevalent, but not an essential part of modern home design. For most, it is a room to be used for special occasions or celebrations. Smaller homes, similarly to the United States and Canada, use a breakfast bar or table placed within the confines of a kitchen or living space for meals.

Quick History of the Dining Table

having food. Their table tops are generally square,

Quick History of the Dining Table

My Dinner Table by Yi Zhen Leong Personal musings about my dinner table at home, moving on to the current dinner table I eat on.

The dining table at home predates me. An elder

person is to be treated with respect, but what about objects? If you bring food over as a guest to my home, your first point of contact will be a round Jade Marble dining table. The green slab of marble sourced locally from Ipoh, Malaysia, propped on a dark wooden leg that tapers out, whose timber was sourced locally as well, name of the wood forgotten with time.

scrape the bottom of my plate lest it produces noise. It’s where my friend surprised me with a McDonalds burger and fries in the middle of the night, it’s where I cried into my half-eaten dinner. The dining table to me is a place of transformation. Like cooking, depending on the mix of people, different experiences emerge from the dinner table. Stories are shared, oral traditions passed down. And about cooking, food is transformed and presented here. Joy Harjo writes in her poem Perhaps The World Ends Here: “The gifts of earth are brought and prepared, set on the table”. The relationship we have with cooking, and by extension, with food has been widely catalogued through various lenses, but could the universal experience of cooking and eating ever be completed without a proper stage?

My Dinner Table

It’s where I learned how to hold chopsticks, and to not

Recently, our family has started dining in the living room, what was once a coffee table has now transformed into a dinner table. A glass panel

Who would and wouldn’t you invite to your dinner table?

propped on thick metal curves, supported by wooden tiers. (If one lays down placemats and steaming-hot dishes, stacks of glass plates and steel cutlery ready as a family gathers around it to eat – who’s to say that any table is not a dining table?) While smaller than the round marble table, we could practically watch whatever media-of-the-day through the living room TV. Sitting on the floor as we start, then moving onto the sofas as our plates gradually empty. There is a shift in dynamics and I am reminded of relaxing in a conversation pit, the formality of rules stripped away. “The dinner table is a space of building memory, sharing knowledge, giving critiques, and offering care.” Annika Izora wrote on her Substack about the activity of gathering, and eating together at the dinner table with the slowing down of time. A resistance to the time that capitalism runs on, and instead focuses your senses on the mundane that is often overlooked, cultivating a sense of purposeful presence. This rings true when dinner is when I rarely keep myself updated on every passing second, where I give up the control of time to focus on the food and people around me.

The dinner table is a space of building memory, sharing knowledge, giving critiques, and offering care.

Now eating miles away from home, I am blessed to find accommodation within a house that is lived in, with a dining table that’s being used. A simple 4-legged 6 seater, burn marks on the table cloth, fresh flowers and heart-shaped placemats. Regularly populated by housemates, occupied with various activities: having leftovers, working on a laptop, messing around a guitar. It feels like home away from home, more than enough to set up a sanctuary for meals. Despite that, I can’t wait to return to a warm meal back home.

My Dinner Table

Annika Izora

My Dinner Table

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Maker Q&A with Lain Furniture

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Lain Furniture

A Q&A interview with Lain Furniture, founded by Hani Ali from Malaysia. Lain focuses on individualised and personalised furnitures and objects, each unique piece reflecing the multiculture and multiracial aspects of Malaysia.

What do you like about creating furniture? The production. Always love the process of seeing raw timber transform into a beautiful piece of furniture. It‘s similar to witnessing a transformation of a cocoon turning into a beautiful butterfly. The process of becoming always gets me excited. What is the furniture industry in Malaysia like? Do you receive many requests for dining tables? Depends on the size and scale of the company you’re looking at, and promotions that they have done. My company is on the niche side of the sector, so there is definitely demand here and there. Once again, it depends how much marketing and promotions I am able to do with the production capability that I have. What do you think about dining tables? Are they still important to families or not really because of busier lifestyles, space constraints etc? Dining tables are an important piece of furniture in every household. Unless you prefer to sit on the floor like what I would do during Hari Raya, with the rest of my 40 relatives, then yeah, you don‘t need a table. But importantly, a dining table serves other purposes, as a discussion place and work area. Due to some customers‘ choices, they would think that the table serves as a dual-function furniture, both as their working table and eating table.

Maker Q&A: Lain Furniture

I‘ve seen that Lain tends to use upcycled/reclaimed wood for your projects, is there a reason for that? I was wondering if it adds more sentimental value? I do filter what projects to take in. Not to be egotistical but it depends on whether we are capable on making it happen. Do we have the resources for it? Main thing being, is your proposed design something we would take on? Making furniture from reclaimed timber isn‘t the easiest, but it provides more narrative to the owner. Most clients who have requested their orders to be made in their old flooring/house trusses, have done so because it gives sentimental value to them. What would your ideal dining table look like? And who would you invite to have dinner? Mine would have everything! Foldable for an easy to stow away, solid timber but lightweight, flat black with wood grains in it. And some gleams of brass details to show the richness of this black mundane table. I would invite you, you might ask me more questions and I’ll be gladly answer them. I‘d also invite my AiKo (my new brand) partner, as he appreciates design and wood.

Do you have a favourite dining table creation?

Could you share a bit about it? I only like this one (pictured below) because it was challenging to make. I took up the challenge since I‘ve always wanted to make a wooden sculpture, but my work is too rigid and symmetrical. Therefore, I don’t have the eye-hand coordination for organic forms. But this one was made with reclaimed timber, and glass top. It’s amazing when you add engineering into your design. It makes complete sense!

Maker Q&A: Lain Furniture

the cantilevered structure could hold up to 150kg with

rootedfurniture.co.uk website

Maker Q&A with Rooted Furniture

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Rooted Furniture

A Q&A interview with Ian Hayes, owner of Rooted Furniture, a Bristol based company specialising in bespoke fitted and freestanding solid wood furniture for indoor and outdoor use.

What do you like about creating furniture? Having the satisfaction of making something all the way through from design to the finished article. Working with solid wood is a joy, I use characterful wood and seeing the unique grain and figuring in each piece is very pleasing. What do you like about using reclaimed wood? Giving the wood a new lease of life, and seeing what lies beneath usually battered and dirty grey wood. On the Rooted website there‘s a line that says: “Tables are made to last a lifetime, with timeless design aesthetics.” How do you think a table accompanies a living space? It’s the epicentre of the household, where meals are eaten daily, friends and family are entertained. It will take centre stage for an occasion. The surface can be used for all sorts of things, like drawing, writing, crafts, music, or just a place to put things! Do you think dinner tables are still important to families or not really because of busy lifestyles, space constraints etc? Yes they’re essential for the reasons above. In some households it’s true they may not have the space for a dining table or can only have a small one or extending. Which then limits some of the activities that can be done within the household.

Do you have a favourite dinner table creation?

The table that is on my website, the contemporary oak dining table. It’s a design I first came up with about 6 years ago. Contemporary sleek style meets robust characterful solid oak. What would your ideal dinner table look like? Who The 12 seater version of the table below, if I was lucky enough to have such a large dining space. [I would invite] my family and friends.

Maker Q&A: Rooted Furniture

would you invite to dinner?

What two things do you consider yourself to be very good at?

A dining table represents the zeitgeist, a space for inclusion and advancement, an invitation to come together, and an opportunity for communication. Mackensie Griffin, 2021 A Seat at the Table: The Western Dining Table as a Symbol of Power

Judy Chicago The Dinner Party, 1974-79 Photo: Donald Woodman, 2002

Table Talk with Aeslinn Noel A Q&A interview and conversation with Aeslinn Noel, currently a graphic designer focusing on social activism and social media graphics, and a dear classmate-turned-friend.

Table Talk: Aeslinn Noel

What is a favourite memory from the past year? 46

Could you describe your dining table?

It’s a wooden table and chairs set, and there isn’t a time when I don’t remember it being around. My parents got it when they went furniture shopping in Cheras for our first home, and my mum liked it because it reminded her of the “Goldilocks and the 3 Bears” chairs. The tablecloth is navy blue with polka dots, and there’s a clear plastic sheet over that just to

My family typically eats one large meal a day for which we all gather at the dining table and talk about our day, how we’re feeling, what we’ve been up to. It’s like a daily catch-up session especially as my sisters and I are older now (ages 22, 17, 15) and have activities independent of one another and our parents. We also like tea time! That usually happens between 4-5PM and is a more fun time when we have snacks and play card games, listen to music, and chat. I see that there are designated seatings on the table! Do you and your sisters have your own spots? Also, it seems that your dad’s chair is at the head of the table, do you think that creates a hierarchy? Yep! My sisters and I have our own preferred spots but occasionally we shift around especially if there’s other people coming over for a meal. And about my dad’s seat; it’s funny, because the reason he sits there is so that he doesn’t get in the way of people walking around the kitchen as he takes up more space and that chair is located where the rest of us don’t typically pass by while moving around the kitchen. So no, there’s no hierarchy, haha.

Table Talk: Aeslinn Noel

make messes easier to clean up.

How does eating together have an impact on your relationship with your family members? I think it definitely strengthens the relationship because we talk and share our thoughts while

What do you like to eat when you’re happy? Sad?

eating. Sometimes it leads to tense situations – when someone eats too loud, eats someone else’s favourite item or leaves food behind, but I think those things also strengthen our bond because we learn to accept one another (or at least put up with it) and discuss why we are uncomfortable with what happened. How often do you eat with other people? Most of my meals are with at least one other family member. I don’t have strong feelings about eating with others though I do not enjoy eating alongside loud or messy eaters… But I’ll tolerate it. I like eating with others when spending time with them! I enjoy the company and quality time more than the food/ process of eating. How often do you eat alone? Do you have any thoughts on it? I only really eat alone when I’m out by myself - which honestly isn’t often these days. I don’t have strong feelings about it, but I guess I enjoy it a little more because there’s no sense of responsibility towards anyone else while eating. And I’m a fast eater, so I don’t have to pace myself according to others or wait for them (not that I mind!)

What does your ideal dinner table look like? And who would you invite to have dinner? Something like this (pictured right)! But maybe with more colour; a funkier rug, and instead of flowers in the middle of the table I’d have fruits and liquor. This was such a fun question! I have never really visualised it before. I’d invite my Ammamma (maternal grandma) but unless I get really damn

Table Talk: Aeslinn Noel

good in the kitchen suddenly, she’d probably have to do all the cooking. I’d also invite Mads Mikkelsen since apparently he really did the cooking on NBC’s Hannibal and that shit is like ASMR for the eyes. I don’t even necessarily want to eat the food, I just wanna watch him chop stuff and talk. Tell me your favourite home-cooked meal! My favourite home-cooked dish in the world was my Ammamma’s sweet-n-sour fish. I haven’t had it in 11 years now, since she passed away, and I miss it. Currently I really like my mum’s pie; we make it every Christmas and it has egg, broccoli, chicken sausage, potato, and carrots! Very yums!

Ideal table and decor.

Eat Drink Man Woman (1994, dir. by Ang Lee)

Ethical and Aesthetic Facets of the Dining Table by Justin Coetzee, 2018 Befront Magazine

Buildings, rather spatial constructs of visible and tangible 3-dimensional boundaries, are first and foremost, units of cultural measurement. The type of building we design and construct and the context within which it is woven is wholly influenced by the ideals, choices and conceptions, impart a specific personality onto the created space. Architecture thus becomes the physical reminder of accepted socio-cultural rules and conventions. Architecture reinforces these conventions through making them perceptible through actionable usage and the occupation of space. Architecture thus becomes a framework or system of programmes for human engagement and behaviour that serve social and cultural purposes. Alternatively, architecture becomes an object of practical function. This purpose, the use of a space, is either denoted or connoted, thus assigning primary and secondary importance to the animation of space and the rituals it embraces. Consider the domestic notion of space, which is the backdrop to our daily lives, as a cultural and social construct. The way we organise and program our domicile hinges on our cultural background. This is perhaps more evident in a room defined by its contradiction – it is sensitively intimate while innately public.

Norman Rockwell Freedom from Want (1943)

Ethical and Aesthetic Facets of the Dining Table

spirit of its time and place. Cultural limits, actions,

The small contradicting sphere within in our houses, has seemingly lost its protagonist lustre. I was raised in a family with a discernible robust moral

The dining table, becomes an object around which

code – perhaps because of the times (just before the

social negotiation takes hold, a venue for an intimate

dismantling of Apartheid) where most men were

civic group to gather.

enrolled into the military with those values engrained into the very fabric of my parents, trickling down the

These days, the dining room and the table has lost

generations. As a footnote, this meant that your bed

its lustre, its reputation as a counterpole to the daily

making skills had to be flawless, and shoes had to

routines we establish – perhaps this is a significant

shimmer even if the sun never shone. This also meant

commentary on the commercialisation of our times

that we were sharing our meals at the dining table.

& a society that is progressively geared towards

The central point of convergence for our family. The

efficiency. The room has become a shrine for the

protagonist of the house… the dining table. For sure,

visitor, the framed painting to exhibit and embrace

the act of cooking, and the people, contribute as

when people arrive, which is locked up and stored

much to the space in which the meal is shared as the

when only the family remains. It had always been a

table or dining room, however, people and food are

place for assembly, the creation of a private sphere.

variable and unpredictable. The space remains and

The table within the room used to be a place where

will continue to serve. This space, the dining room,

commonplace or not so commonplace matters was

becomes a stage, a theatre for daily disasters and

discussed. The profane and spiritual found a home.

comedies, acted out by a family. Every family’s play is

Prayers were made; tears were shed, and laughter

unique, attuned to culture, place, time and meaning.

was plentiful.

American Beauty (1999)

Bastardo Restaurant, Lisboa, Portugal.

Ethical and Aesthetic Facets of the Dining Table

Where has that all gone? In contrast to how we live our lives, determined by the speed that we travel to and from work, the events we are obliged to attend and all the people we need to see, the dining room provides a space to encounter individuals on a different level, at a different pace than their routines. Simply through conversation, the table becomes a stage for rational and irrational behaviour. A family can dish out a fair share of conflict around the table, taking a break from pure rational thought. These days there seems to be an abundance of bar tables at restaurants and coffee shops or cafes,

Scent of a Woman (1992)

which is because of our fast-paced society. We do not make time to engage, because we tell ourselves we have no time. The dominance of the bar counter/ table, as simple as it may seem, enforces a culture of fast-paced consumption, we need to eat as quickly as possible and we should not leave any trace of intimacy in a public group.

Les Ombres Restaurant, Paris, 25 December 2017. Christmas in Paris atop Musée du quai Branly – Jacques Chirac (Jean Nouvel) (©Justin Coetzee, 2017)

How does this notion function in the public sphere? Although the most intimate space, and perhaps

of people, confrontation with the public, that we

most archetypical, for a dining table is the kitchen, it

begin to learn more about others, and as we begin

is perhaps most frequently found, and naturally too, in

to talk to strangers who lead vastly different lives

most public spaces and restaurants. If the dining room

to our own, we may just expand our philosophical

and its table, as object and space, form the venue for

understanding of the world around us. Even if this

public engagement, I must admit that I have very

does not happen, the possibility at least exists due

rarely come across an anonymous public group at a

to the temporary and intimate nature of the public

dining table at a restaurant. This reinforces the ‘public

group, which is different from the public intimate

spaces’ socio-political term, in that it has never been

group of a family. It is always ephemeral and fragile.

a space/place for the anonymous public, rather it is a place where specific people meet each other privately.

Being seated, dining at a table is a very noticeable archetypal ritual within our society. It varies vastly

This notion is flawed and irresponsible. It cannot

across cultural boundaries, however the intention

be deemed a public space/place just because large

and ritual of communicating our own lives, narrating

groups of people gather around a table, albeit in

who we are, who we wish to be and what we are

their own smaller groups. Let us imagine that two

interested it, remains common to man.

strangers join the table myself and four friends are sharing, then the definition of public groups becomes

However, the public intimate group, is a group that

porous and acceptable. An intimate public sphere is

was non-existent before the moment the people sat

thus established.

around the table, unlike the dining room in a house, where the actors are familiar and continuous. In the

The scenario can be such that you are seated

public dining room (restaurants, bars, cafes’), the

opposite each other, not engaging in conversation or

group is created through dialogue, confrontation

establishing dialogue. This is quite natural. However,

and tête-à-tête.

it is through engagement with the unfamiliar group

Ethical and Aesthetic Facets of the Dining Table

The aesthetically formed public group. The form of a table also plays a crucial role to our

footing among partners in dialogue. The form of the

perception of public or private groups. Its shape and

table – perhaps associated to the room – expresses

where and how it is positioned, are relevant from a

a symbolic order. The head of the table, is already

symbolic point of view as well as from an aesthetic

delivered to his or her circumstances, exposed in

point. They form the aesthetic backdrop and horizon

a formal position not shared by any other seated

for the act of eating and sharing meals. Materials used

around the table. Thus, it becomes a holistic symbolic

to construct tables, be it wood, plastic or metal are

sphere, that table, the people and the place.

determined by a myriad of factors and functions. The American Philosopher Nelson Goodman, describes in

In a time where intimacy has waned in our private

his book, The Languages of Art, the various functions

and public lives, we must acknowledge the important

of everyday aesthetic objects on a symbolic level.

role that the dining table and design has played in shaping the rituals of dining, sharing meals and

One such function, ‘exemplification’, is where an

its establishment of certain public groups and the

object illustrates its qualities to its users. The table

boundaries associated therewith. Thus, whomever

is thus not just symbolic because it represents an

contemplates the dining table and its function in our

idea, rather they are also symbolic because the reveal

public and private lives, and the establishment of

something about themselves, the materials are not

public and private groups, and communities, must

interchangeable, the surface and the function is not

understand this function because of the process of

arbitrary, and the shape is not irrelevant to how we

design, the constant re-invention and development

engage with the table. Dining tables are thus objects

of the table within a dining room.

of a design process, because their aesthetic nature informs the function they fulfill. This function has

Where we eat, the dining table, and the room or

been designed and developed.

non-room in which it takes place, creates a certain type of temporary or permanent community, be

The generalised expression – sitting at a round table

it familial or public. Sitting and dining together at

– to find resolution to a problem, evidently reinforces

a table provides space for life to be narrated and

the relationship that developed between the shape

absorbed, a place where we communicate who we

of a table and the normative order of a place, be

are, and who we want to be. It becomes a place for

it public or private. A round table signifies equal

reflection and deliverance.

The Godfather II (1974)

Sala Beckett Theatre, Flores & Pratts Architects. The Café becomes the edifice for the ritual of theatre retreats. (©Justin Coetzee, 2017)

Ethical and Aesthetic Facets of the Dining Table

Table Talk with Sharon Bong A Q&A interview and conversation with Sharon Bong, also known as Skye. Media studies graduate and creative in love with books, magical stories, and warm art.

Table Talk: Sharon Bong

Could you describe your dining table? the table is made out of wood, with a round floral

If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would you pick?

orange top! on it sits a pressure cooker, a metal kettle and like, several bottles of various chilli pastes. i feel mostly ambivalent towards the table, i think. my only opinion is probably that it’s a bit small given all the stuff we have on it and the fact that it’s supposed to accommodate, four adults when both my brother and i are back home. this table hasn’t changed since we first moved into this house twenty years ago (geez)! Do you actually eat dinner at your dining table? yeah! when i was younger my parents used to insist that we eat all our meals together, so it’s kind of a tradition now. these days we mostly just eat dinner together—but all the dining is done at the table, yes. How often do you use your dinner table? Do you use it for activities other than eating? everyday! we usually just do meal prep and dining at the table though, since there’s space to do other activities elsewhere throughout the house. You’ve mentioned that your family is quite religiously Christian, so do you usually say your prayers at the dinner table? my parents do, and i also sometimes take on saying grace to humour them. i’m not particularly religious myself though, so if i’m eating alone i mostly just start eating immediately. i do find myself feeling a bit weird

when i’m eating with other families and they don’t say grace though! not having the little ritual makes me feel like i don’t have permission to eat, almost. How often do you eat with other people? nearly everyday! it can be nice to catch up with my parents during dinner since i’m mostly in my room staring at my computer all day.

Table Talk: Sharon Bong

How often do you eat alone? What are your thoughts on it - enjoy or no difference? i honestly prefer eating alone most times, so i can also watch youtube or do something with my phone during the meal :’) weirdly, it feels like time i truly have to myself even though i’m alone most of the day, since i’m not expected to be productive during meals. just freelancer things. Do you have a memory from the dinner table that stuck with you? If so, could you share? mm… the one that comes to mind isn’t one of eating, but of making cookies with my mum during chinese new years. lots of pineapple cookies and green pea cookies and no-bake cheesecakes. a nice little ritual every year. even though we end up inhaling most of the cookies ourselves instead of serving it to guests.

Homemade pineapple tarts

What does your ideal dinner table look like? And who would you invite to have dinner? i am quite fond of round dinner tables, especially ones with the little turntable in the centre. it just makes

What are your family dynamics like at the dinner table?

getting food so much easier when you have multiple people sitting at the table hahahaha. in an ideal world? all my close friends. there’s just something so nice about sitting down for a meal amongst friends… like. this tumblr post. u know.

Tell me your favourite home-cooked meal. i love… homecooked sarawak laksa… anything that almost has a DIY element to it. when we make sarawak laksa there’s usually a big pot of broth on the stove, and separate bowls of various accoutrements on the table — so you can pick what you want! the meehoon, beansprouts, shredded egg, chicken strips, de-shelled prawn, chinese parsley, sambal, etc… a tiny buffet of what is largely the same dish. the malaysian equivalent of a build-your-own-sandwich bar. yes.

Table Talk: Sharon Bong

Homecooked Sarawak Laksa.

Not at the table. Not at the dinner table. Don't say this here. Don't say that there. Don't talk about this.

On Hope, Fire Escapes, and Visible Desperation — Ocean Vuong

And I think we've built shame into vulnerability, and we've sealed it off in our culture — "Not at the table. Not at the dinner table. Don't say this here. Don't say that there. Don't talk about this. This is not cocktail conversation," what have you. We police access to ourselves. And the great loss is that we can move through our whole lives, picking up phones and talking to our most beloveds, and yet, still not know who they are. Our “how are you” has failed us. And we have to find something else.

A Billion Homes Chinese Dinner Table Talk Tells Universal Story

In "Another Year", 13 family meals show the personal side of China's urbanization. by Fu Beimeng, 2020 Sixth Tone

There are only 13 scenes in “Another Year,” a threehour long documentary, and all of them feature the same long, static shots of the same family doing the same, everyday activity: eating a meal. It’s a bold visual experiment by director Zhu Shengze, a 32-year-old Chicago-based documentary filmmaker. Given no context, the audience is plunged into the life of one Chinese family through their dinnertime discussions that range from whether to buy new chopsticks to how to deal with Grandma’s stroke. The effect is that of feeling part of the family’s joys and frustrations about the mundane, and seeing how, over the film’s 14-month timespan, small changes can have big repercussions. “I think trivial things add up and have a tremendous impact on life’s trajectory,” Zhu says by phone from Tromsø, Norway, where she had attended a film festival.

2016 • 3h1m Director, Producer, Editor • Zhu Shengze Cinematographer • Yang Zhengfan

Thirteen dinners of a Chinese migrant worker’s family over the course of fourteen months. The film portrays a series of random occurrences. Joys, frustrations and the struggle for survival. The meals unfold in realtime through thirteen static, long takes. Each take captures with vivid detail the reality of the relationships between the different family members. As the seasons unfold, so does time and the echoes for better working conditions penetrate the frame. Issues such as the one-child policy and the possibilities for better wages weigh heavily on the minds of the three-generation family. Thus, the room where the family gathers night after night becomes an observational microcosm of the transformations that the Chinese working class faces on a daily basis. By examining the lives of migrant workers, who left their rural home-towns to look for a better life in cities, the film creates a powerful and moving meditation on China’s economic boom and massive urbanization. Another Year is an extremely acute depiction of the complexities of the Chinese economy and society. —Giona A. Nazzaro

There are only 13 scenes in “Another Year,” a three-

The rule-breaking approach to storytelling

hour long documentary, and all of them feature the

is a constant in Zhu’s work. Her two other

same long, static shots of the same family doing the

documentaries to date also feature original visual

same, everyday activity: eating a meal.

approaches: For her debut, “Out of Focus,” she used the work of underprivileged urban children who she

It’s a bold visual experiment by director Zhu Shengze,

had taught to use a camera, and for her latest film,

a 32-year-old Chicago-based documentary filmmaker.

“Present.Perfect.,” she edited footage of small-time

Given no context, the audience is plunged into the

livestreamers into a story about loneliness.

life of one Chinese family through their dinnertime discussions that range from whether to buy new

People from marginalized communities are central

chopsticks to how to deal with Grandma’s stroke.

in all three films. The family in “Another Year” — three children, their parents, and one grandmother

The effect is that of feeling part of the family’s joys

— are among China’s hundreds of millions of internal

and frustrations about the mundane, and seeing how,

migrants. They left the countryside of Hubei province

over the film’s 14-month timespan, small changes can

for its capital Wuhan, where they can find better-

have big repercussions. “I think trivial things add up

paying work but are also treated as second-class

and have a tremendous impact on life’s trajectory,”

citizens due to government policies excluding them

Zhu says by phone from Tromsø, Norway, where she

from all kinds of welfare.

had attended a film festival.

A Billion Homes: Another Year Documentary Review

I am trying to tell this family's story through emotions and struggles that are shared by everyone.

Their borderline status forces the family to make

from work. But in the final scene, on the eve of Spring

difficult decisions when the grandmother suffers

Festival, the entire family is finally complete, bonding

a stroke. Because she can only enjoy subsidized

and healing through shared food.

health care in her hometown, the family splits — the grandmother, mother, and two young children return

The family’s story reflects the lives of people in and

to the countryside; the older daughter and the father

outside of China. “I am trying to tell this family’s story

stay in Wuhan for school and work.

through emotions and struggles that are shared by everyone, whether they are Europeans, Americans,

The dinner table is at the center of family life in

or whoever,” Zhu says. “Despite this family’s rural

China, the place for relatives to relax and catch up

roots, poor economic conditions, and squalid living

with each other’s lives. “Another Year” begins and

conditions, the topics the mother and daughter

ends with Spring Festival, the biggest meal of the

talk about are the same as those discussed around

year. The family rarely sits at the table together:

everyone’s dinner table.”

Somebody’s always missing, be it the mother chasing to feed a toddler, or the father yet to return home

This is the story behind Zhu Shengze’s “Another Year,” as told to Sixth Tone and edited for brevity and clarity.

interactions of one girl with her mother at the dinner table particularly interesting. Their arguments were like the ones I had with my mother. I jokingly said to my producer and cinematographer, Yang Zhengfan, that I should make a film just about dinner. He answered, “Why not?” Zhu Shengze • Director

We discussed how we could make this film. Do we shoot lunches, or dinners? Do we shoot every day, or once a month? Do we follow one character, or use static shots? We did a test shoot in December of 2012 and decided on the format: One year of dinners, filmed once a month. I figured that this family of migrant workers would have quite unstable lives. They are vulnerable and easily affected by their surroundings. At the time I figured there would be some changes over the year, but not necessarily anything dramatic. But the grandmother’s stroke instantly disrupted the family’s rhythm and structure. The mother did not want to go back to the countryside. There, just buying a pack of salt means you need to catch a ride to a nearby town. In Wuhan, all you have to do is walk out your front door. I visited their village, and my impression was that it was very empty. There were just elderly people. The young had all left for work.

Yang Zhengfan • Cinematographer

A Billion Homes: Another Year Documentary Review

When I was editing “Out of Focus,” I found the

The oldest daughter loves Wuhan. Before moving

Many from their village who worked in Wuhan lived in

there, her parents had taken her to the city during

this community, so they looked after each other.

holidays. She said she never wanted to go back to the

At first people would leave their children behind in

countryside. Later, she attended a public junior high

their hometown. But it is not a particularly healthy

school in Wuhan, a boarding school, and was only

way for children to grow up, so many started

home during the weekends. In a way, it made my

bringing their children over to live together.

shoot easier, because it meant I did not need to film from Monday to Thursday.

I think they are a hardworking family trying to get a foothold in the city and maintain a decent living

Her dad works in a nearby market for construction

standard. The father had a good income by Wuhan

materials. He drives a tricycle to deliver goods every

standards, but it was unstable. Within his ability, he

day. Her mother worked in a clothing factory, but

worked hard to make the family live under the best

because she had to take care of her children, she

circumstances. They did what they could to meet

couldn’t be there all day and would bring clothes

their children’s wishes, such as having smartphones,

home to finish her work there. From her perspective,

snacks, or new clothes.

she had to take care of two small children and her mother-in-law, so she felt trapped. Before her stroke,

Chinese people’s love is subtle and forbearing. They

the grandmother would contribute to the family by

won’t say “I love you” every day like Americans do. They

collecting and selling recyclables. That was their life.

won’t make physical contact. The mother would not hug her oldest daughter. The girl was in a rebellious

They lived in Hua’anli, an area with many migrant

period, so she definitely did not want to be hugged. In

workers not far from Wuhan’s Hankou Railway

fact, sometimes she argued with her mother, because

Station. You can constantly hear the sound of

her mother really wanted to control her and nagged

trains because the tracks run through the whole

her a lot. She would say, “eat this, eat that.”

community. It has become more developed now with a new business center, but at that time, it was

But at the same time, the meals in the film are quite

not a particularly prosperous area. To Wuhanese

elaborate. That’s because they were cooked for the

people like myself, it was an area where the city

oldest daughter, who was only home during the

ended and its outskirts began.

weekends. There wouldn’t be so many dishes during

A mother and her two daughters in a small shared living area. Courtesy of Zhu Shengze

The map shows Hua’anli located near Wuhan’s Hankou Railway Station.

A Billion Homes: Another Year Documentary Review

the week. The mother wouldn’t ever mention this, but

I didn’t want to explain everything to the viewers,

it came up once during an argument. The daughter

because I think that would have been boring. I like to

said to her mother, “You don’t love me. Why do you

leave space for the audience to imagine. The narrative

have so many children?”

I hope to build is open and inclusive, so that all can

Her mother replied, “How are we mistreating you? I made so many dishes just for you.” In Chinese families,

This film touches upon family planning and China’s

parental love is often not expressed with words, but

medical system, but those are not the focus. Policies

through small details like these.

and the environment greatly affect everyone’s lives. I wanted to present a larger social context through

I first filmed with wide shots, so that everyone, the

this family — about urbanization in China, for

space, and their relationships with the space could

example. Why must villagers sacrifice and leave

be seen. But slowly, with the passage of time, as you

behind spacious houses in the countryside to cram

gradually understand the family, the frame gets

into a room smaller than 20 square meters in the

tighter, and you see their faces and other details

city? Why does migration happen?

more clearly. After the grandmother suffered a stroke, I hesitated whether to film in the city or in their village.

I think trivial things add up and have a tremendous

But I decided to leave Wuhan, because all but the

impact on life’s trajectory. I wanted to embrace life

father and daughter were forced to as well because

itself — the chance, the openness — and I’m against

of government policies and their circumstances.

using the director’s own perspective, experience, background, or point-of-view to construct and impose

I didn’t choose the order of the scenes, but I did

something, especially to build dramatic conflicts.

choose on what to focus. Otherwise, it is entirely

It’s the last thing I want to do.

their life. Every time I shot some footage, I could not tell what would happen the next month. Framing was the only thing I had prepared. I spent a lot of time thinking about it. The advantage is that for each take, I had one month to think.

A Billion Homes: Another Year Documentary Review

watch the film and leave with different impressions.

with and

Jien Min Yi Zhen

A drawing prompt and questionnaire about dinner tables and dining together done with my partner and I.

Table for Two

Table For Two

Moving from the sole materiality of the dinner table, and looking towards the atmosphere and conversations it facilitates, only further solidifies its timeless value. A table for two people sits on a different wavelength in comparison to eating alone, or eating with more than two. Two’s company, as they say. Your attention should be given to the only other person with you on the table. It’s a classic stage for romantic dinners, from tinder dates to anniversaries. And what if we move the scene to one’s home dinner table? The heightened intimacy of it creates this environment of trust, of vulnerability that is alluring. But eating for two doesn’t and shouldn’t inherently come with romantic intentions. It could mean a catch-up with an old friend, or trying new dishes you both are interested in. The following conversation catalogues my partner and I going through an activity that pairs a drawing prompt with a question. Due to our long-distance nature, it was done through video call on Discord. Feel free to ask these questions to anyone, romantic or not.

Activity Prompts Activity (1)

Question (1)

Activity (2)

Draw a table surface of any shape, make sure it’s big, we’re going to add stuff on it!

If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?

Draw a couple decorations on your table surface.

Question (2)

Activity (3)

Question (3)

What would constitute a “perfect” meal for you?

Now add some chairs onto your drawing.

Do you like eating with me?

Activity (4)

Question (4)

Activity (5)

Draw something you’re craving for right now.

Do you have a favourite moment when we were eating together?

Draw your partner’s favourite food. No asking!

Question (5)

Activity (6)

Question (6)

What song(s) would you play during a meal together?

Draw your favourite drink. Then draw a drink your partner rarely drinks.

If we were to have dinner right now, what would it be like? Describe it as much as possible.

Activity (7)

Question (7)

Activity: End

Draw a dessert.

What would you want your last meal to be before you die?

Show each other your drawings! Go through it, share your responses.

Draw a table surface. If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be? (Activity 1)

(Question 1)

Zhen For me I feel like I don’t want to invite any conventionally famous people. I feel like I just want to have dinner with my friends and stuff. Min I don’t really know who to invite for dinner, ‘cause I don’t really like to eat with other people. Zhen But if you could? Min Maybe Ethan actually. I wouldn’t know what to say to him, as I’ve never seen him since The Incident where I broke off our friendship. Zhen Do you think he’ll accept your invite? Min Yeah I think so. I’ll probably invite a couple of my friends who he had beef with too.

Draw a couple decorations. (Q2) What would constitute a "perfect" meal? (A2)

Min A lot of food that’s very good. And food that I don’t have to pay for or food that is cheap. Zhen For me I think the perfect meal is about the environment. As long as I am comfortable with the environment, then I am okay with it. Like if I eat at a mamak with my friends at 1am, it’s as much as a perfect meal as if I have high tea at a fancy hotel. I think that’s very important to me. Hmm but actually, if I’m alone, I’d feel like that’s a perfect meal as well. But I think since coming to the UK, I’ve been eating alone more frequently that I’ve come to appreciate eating with my friends and family more.

Min I think the perfect meal for me will have

meat, egg, vegetables and rice or rice cakes. Something with carbs. And a lot of it for very cheap. Like the Manhattan Fish Market meal I had yesterday. Even though it didn’t have eggs, I think it’s a perfect meal. It had fish, scallops, chicken breast, potato chips, broccoli, a lot of carrots, and a heap of rice. Only downside is that

Now add some chairs. Do you have a favourite moment when we were eating together? (A3)

(Q3)

Min I think everytime we eat, it’s very nice. So there’s no favourite moment in particular. Zhen I really liked when we made burgers and had hotpot at your place. Even though the burgers were a bit salty, it was still a fun experience. Min Oh yeah that, I agree. Zhen I wouldn’t say the most favourite moment, but a memorable moment was when you brought me to have dinner with your dad’s extended family. It was intimidating and they asked so many questions, but they meant well haha. Min Actually, now that you’ve mentioned it, I really enjoyed having the hotpot at my house. Because I like hotpot, since it’s mostly meat. Plus if you DIY it, it’s not that expensive. And we got to eat at home. The annoying part for me about eating outside at a restaurant is that you have to pay at the end of the meal. (laughs)

Table for Two

you get a sore throat, but it’s worth it.

Draw something you're craving for as of this moment. (Q4) Do you like eating with me? (A4)

Min Yeah! I do like eating alone still though. Well to be fair, I like eating with friends ‘cause you can talk to each other. Unless the food is very good, then it’d be disrupting for me if you keep talking. (laughs) But when I eat with friends, it’s either I eat very slowly or I don’t eat at all. I enjoy the slow part of eating with friends, like moments when a 15-minute lunch can turn into a 2-hour one. Zhen I like that as well. Which is why I like hotpot. I wouldn’t necessarily say that the food of hot pot is amazing gastronomically, but just the moment of sitting down and talking makes it an enjoyable activity. I like how you’re able to choose the portions yourself as well, how much or how little you eat. It’s all up to you.Anyways, I like eating with you as well. You make me feel comfortable. And you’re not a picky

hotpot

eater, so we can always try new cuisines and dishes.

fish and chips

Draw your partner's favourite food. (Q5) What songs would you play during a meal together? (A5)

boiled cabbage

Min I don’t play songs when I eat but let’s say hypothetically we have a playlist. Tiktok songs. The most mainstream, happy ones. Something from Top 50 hits. Doja Cat probably. Zhen I’ll probably play something similar. They’re the kind of songs you can turn your brain off to and focus

naan Table for Two

on the food instead. Min I usually listen to rap, rock, metal which probably aren’t suitable to listen to while having a meal. And I think listening to classical music while eating makes me feel like a douchebag. So by process of elimination, trendy pop songs are what I’ll go for.

Draw your favourite drink. Then draw a drink your partner rarely drinks. (Q6) If we were to have dinner together right now, what would it be like? (A6)

Min Wok. Wok Pizza. Nothing fancy. I’d love to bring you there. If not Wok then probably Hana Sake Dining. Oh! We can also go to the Japanese bar in Uptown. Ah, so many good

bubble tea

choices. But I think right now it’ll be pizza at Wok. Neapolitan. Garlic bread on the side. I really like the pizza because it makes me feel comfortable and healthy after eating it, instead of greasy and icky.

iced coffee

Draw a dessert. What would you want to eat for your last meal before you die? (A7)

(Q7)

Zhen I want Malaysian food, that’s for sure. Min Hmm. The thing about Malaysian food is that you’re not sure what to choose, since there are so many good ones. Zhen Yeah I thought of that as well. But as of right

ais kacang

now (not that I’m going to die tomorrow, touchwood) I want to eat Braised Vinegar Pork Leg from my grandma. I think that’s super comfort food for me. Min Actually there is something I’d like, and I’ve been craving it for a long time. A5 Wagyu Beef Wellington. I had it when Leanne’s mom cooked it for her birthday party. I hope one day I can just drop by her place, have a chat with her mother, and hope that she cooks it again for me. It was so good, I was tempted to ask if I could take it back home. I would choose Malaysian food but the thing is this, it’s all so good that you cannot take only one since they’re all so complimentary. Like if I want Maggi Mee Double with Egg, it will follow up with Roti Bom, Cheese Naan, Roti Tissue, Milo Ais, Fried chicken. Zhen Well that’s a meal! You could have all of that. Min Okay you know what, I’ll include all of the above mentioned into my last meal. Zhen I think I’ll have all of that as well. I love mamak food, and street food. Min I love mamak food because you can go there and eat until you die, without breaking

bingsu

the bank. The only thing stopping you is your

own physical ability to eat, and your morals. Zhen Morals? (laughs) Why morals? Min Is it good to be a glutton? Zhen Now I’ve had a bit more time to think about it, I should eat something expensive for my last meal. Just spend all my money since I’m dying anyways. Min Practically, I’d say that as well, but I haven’t had many chances where I have had expensive food to think about any. food being properly digested. Min Now it’s either whatever I’ve mentioned before or you put me in Japan, and you let me roam Tsukiji fish market one last time. Zhen Oh gosh, yes! That is such a great idea. Now I want that too. The oysters, the mussels, the seafood. I agree. I’d want to drop by Family Mart then as well, to get the egg sandwich. Min You know what, put me in Japan for 3 hours. That’s my dying wish. I’ll eat as much food as I possibly can as my last meal.

End: Show each other your drawings! Go through it, share your responses.

Table for Two

Zhen Imagine eating all that and you die without the

Jien Min’s dinner table result

Table for Two

Yi Zhen’s dinner table result

Who would you invite for a one-on-one dinner? 90

As Tears Go By (1988, dir. by Wong Kar-Wai)

Table for one? Yes, please. The Joy of Eating Alone

More of us are cooking or eating solo - it's time to break free from the stigma of dining alone. by Clare Finney, 2021 The Observer, The Guardian

Romas Foord

“We call it a crisis of loneliness. In France, it’s a crisis

As the situation wore on, recipes written with the

of manners. In China, it’s a crisis of family,” Dr Mukta

solo cook in mind started appearing – perhaps most

Das tells me. “Every nation around the world has

memorably, Nigella Lawson’s cookie for one. “I loved

this idea that eating together is better, and that

the process of choosing a recipe, taking time over

eating alone is against the norm.” An anthropologist

presentation. I’m from a large family,” a friend who

at Soas University of London, Das is fascinated by

locked down alone confides. “Eating has always been

the shift of eating from a predominantly communal,

a big part of our being together. So I was surprised at

convivial activity to something we now frequently

how much I enjoyed it being just me and my food.” In

experience by ourselves. There are 8 million single

Das’s opinion, what lockdown did was to change the

households in the UK and in 2019 the Wellbeing

way people feel about eating alone; “to feel like it can

Index revealed almost a third of British adults are

be healthy and nourishing to be alone sometimes.”

eating alone “most or all of the time”. This shift may well have been exacerbated by lockdown, during which those who lived alone necessarily ate alone – but it was in motion long before, says Das, thanks to the “transformation of our family-oriented culture into something more individualistic”. She continues: “The declining marriage- and birthrate, the rise in divorce, the demands of office life,

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it just being me and my food Nigella Lawson

people living longer – these are the socioeconomic and demographic forces that have enabled this

There can be a stigma attached to eating alone

change, prompting a sense of crisis in most cultures

even now, says food historian and author Bee Wilson.

which place family meals at the top.”

“Most of the images we see of people enjoying food still depict big family gatherings. I worry that this can

How much does eating alone shape your experience

accentuate the feelings of loneliness that people can

and enjoyment of that meal? The pandemic has

have when eating alone.”

often intensified our relationship with food. Those who locked down with family or friends may have

To illustrate her point, Wilson describes eating alone

eaten three meals a day in company; those shut in

for the first few months after her divorce, on the

alone ate every meal alone. In both instances food

nights her children were with her ex-husband. “It felt

and drink often became the focus of the day.

so eerie and sad at first to be making food only for me.

There is a huge difference between occasional and

banana bread was unavailable to my grandmother.

habitual eating alone; between whether the solitude

While younger people use social media to “share”

is enforced or chosen.”

food or be inspired, her generation grew up in a

world where food was not “content”, but the medium The term “single” covers all manner of situations,

of communication; where regular, home-cooked

from parents and widowers to housemates who

family meals were the norm.

and cheese are all labelled. One person’s homemade

Though my grandma has continued to observe

meal, complete with self-baked sourdough will be

her and my grandad’s lifelong afternoon tea ritual,

another’s KFC, or yet another’s something-on-toast.

she only bakes a cake if people are coming round. Otherwise, it’s Sainsbury’s own – a concession I

My grandmother was widowed just before the first

found depressing until I read Lawson’s thoughts on

lockdown. All at once, a woman who had spent 71

eating alone in her latest book, Cook, Eat, Repeat.

years cooking for and eating with her husband was

“For all that we’d like to think otherwise, the kitchen

left cooking and eating alone. Something-on-toast

is still a much more freighted area for women. The joy

became her go-to dish; what was the point, she said,

to be got from feeding others is not to be minimised,

in making more effort. It’s a sentiment many of us

but – perhaps counterintuitively – there is less ego

will probably have felt at some point in the past 18

involved in cooking for oneself, and that’s enormously

months, but one that’s particularly difficult for older

liberating … You’re cooking to please yourself, no

people. According to Age UK, around one in ten

one else, and you neither have to second-guess your

people over 65 were malnourished or at risk of being

guests’ tastes nor apologise for your own.”

so because they were lonely or couldn’t get to the shops. “As you can imagine, this has been magnified

Lawson is talking about cooking here – but her

many times over since then,” says Lesley Carter,

principle applies to eating alone more broadly.

project lead for Age UK’s malnutrition task force.

Romanticising the notion of family meals is all very well, Das points out, but “in most households around

At play is not just financial poverty, Carter continues,

the world women take on most of the food prep – so

but “poverty of enthusiasm and ideas. Though many

there is freedom, when they are on their own, in not

have a tablet or computer, they cannot really use

having to cater to others: in having the choice as to

it to search for unfamiliar ingredients, find recipe

whether they go out to eat, cook or buy ready-made

inspiration or shop online.” The novelty of restaurant

food”. Das’s words are borne out by my grandma, who

kits, the relief of Deliveroo – even the comfort of

informs me her favourite cake really is Sainsbury’s

Table for One

pass like ships in the night, and whose milk, bread

apple turnover, and through the experience of Signe

their experience and makes us happy.” If they’re alone,

Johansen, author of Solo: The Joy of Cooking for One,

they’re there for the food, he observes. “They are

who was struck by the number of female readers who

saying they don’t need the entertainment of others.

messaged her “to say how nice it is just to think about

They are saying they chose our restaurant, and they’re

what they want, not everyone else”.

here to enjoy it for themselves. It’s a real compliment.”

Even nicer than that, of course, is not thinking

For Lyle’s, which joined the world’s 50 best restaurants

about cooking at all, and simply going out for dinner

list in 2017, the rise in solo diners has been inextricable

with no one but yourself for company. The chef and

with the rise of “food tourism”: ticking top restaurants

restaurateur James Lowe believes there are more

off a bucket list. It’s a niche activity and a privileged

female solo diners than male in his restaurant, Lyle’s.

one but it does point to another advantage of eating

“That’s what I’d say, on balance,” he tells me. It’s a

alone: the ability to indulge in restaurants and dishes

gender split that would have been rare in previous

that companions might not like, or might not want

decades. “Being in a magnificent restaurant with a

to splash out on. It’s why Jafari only orders oysters if

good book, you get to a level of real comfort,” says Elli

she’s out by herself. “When friends are grossed out by

Jafari, the managing director of the Standard hotel in

oysters,” she says, “it takes away the joy.”

London and a regular solo diner. “I think everything tastes better, when you’re alone and your thoughts

It is this snatched, illicit pleasure that Erchen Chang

are in a good place.”

captures so perfectly in the artwork that gave birth to Bao, the acclaimed group of Taiwanese restaurants

The general increase in solo diners is indisputable:

which Chang runs with Wai Ting and Shing Tat

up 160% in four years in the UK, according to Open

Chung. It depicts a lone man snaffling a bao, side on

Table. This figure dates from 2019 but they note that

to the observer, an almost imperceptible smile on

“restaurants are increasingly accommodating for

his face. This image has informed their entire brand:

parties of one across the globe”.

“We see the solo diner as something to cherish,” says Chang – so much so that they are soon launching

Where once solo diners were treated with pity or

a set menu designed for solo diners, and a journal

annoyance by maître d’s, who saw a “table for one”

dedicated to people’s perfect solo meals or activities.

as a loss of potential revenue, now they are welcomed

“The lonely man looks sad at first – but when you

with as much relish as group bookings. “I think there

look closer, he isn’t sad or ashamed. He is hiding his

has been a shift in attitudes,” says Lowe. “You get more

bao because he’s enjoying it. He is using the time to

guest interaction with a solo table, which improves

reflect and enjoy himself.”

At home, much of my recent cooking has been

unearthed by a study of 2,000 adults that Ocado

inspired by “Something to eat solo”, a chapter in Crave

commissioned last year. As Johansen says: “When

by Ed Smith, published earlier this year. The book is

you’re alone, you can do what you want.”

and in devoting a section to eating alone, Smith says

With those words ringing in my ears, I turn again

he wanted to “counter the cliched assumption that

to Crave. Soba noodles with sesame dipping sauce

‘you can’t be bothered to cook for yourself’ – because

sounds delicious. I double the amount of noodles, my

if you are going to cook for yourself, and can afford to,

appetite for them being bottomless, add more garlic

you might as well make it joyful. A dinner party might

and throw in some peas because I love peas with

not appreciate you splashing out on burrata from the

almost everything. I eat watching Bridget Jones’s

local deli, but you will.”

Diary: a film which, growing up, reinforced my fears of being alone. Jones’s solo meals consist of neat vodka,

Being alone means you can be more assertive in the decisions you make Signe Johansen It’s why, as she wrote in the New York Times, Lawson never buys caviar when eating out, or serves it to others, but will occasionally buy a tin for herself. Her approach, and Johansen’s, counters a long-held assumption of mine: that company always enhances one’s experience of food. Being alone means “you can be more assertive in the decisions you make”, says Johansen. “I can use a whole tin of anchovies, or four cloves of garlic.” You can indulge in bizarre combinations such as banana and bacon or dry, buttered Weetabix, two of the 50 weird combinations

old cheese and dry muesli. Taking the time to cook something to meet my own needs and idiosyncrasies feels almost like a rewriting: a move away from the so-called crisis of loneliness towards being simply, serenely alone.

Table for One

organised “by flavour, to suit your mood and appetite”

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Table for One

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Table Talk with Qian Hui Ong A Q&A interview and conversation with Qian Hui Ong, currently a graduating student living in Singapore, One Piece fan, and a long-time travel friend.

Table Talk: Qian Hui Ong

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Could you describe your “dining table”? I bought my “dining table” from IKEA. Do you have a dining table? Why or why not? I would say I have a dining table but we don’t really

What is one favourite thing you do by yourself?

classify it as a dining table. In my house, we do not have a clear definition of the tables we have, which includes the dining table. Basically, to my family, a table is a table and can be used for all sorts of purposes. So, I would say that we have and we do not have a dining table together. If we feel like using it as a dining table today, then we will use it as a dining table. We do not see the importance of defining different tables in our house. Does your family eat together? We don’t really eat together because we all eat at different times. I feel that it is more comfortable for all of us and we prefer to do it this way because we all have different lifestyles. Personally, I do not think it impacts my relationship with them because this is the kind of life that I grew up in and we are all used to it. I find that if we force ourselves to come together and eat, it will instead make it more frustrating to us as we have to accommodate our different lifestyles and schedules just to come together and eat.

IKEA LILLÅSEN Bamboo Desk 102x49cm • SGD$199

We would eat together during Chinese New Year.

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I think because of the culture and tradition behind Chinese New Year, it gives us the reason to eat together, like during 团圆饭 (Reunion dinner). Since it only happens once a year, this has in turn made me appreciate the time that we eat together more. When eating, what do you do for entertainment?

How often do you eat alone? What are your thoughts on it - do you enjoy it or no difference? Whenever I’m at home, I eat alone most of the time. Rather than saying I enjoy it, it’s more of it being a part of my lifestyle and I’m used to it. If I were to eat outside alone, I would feel a little uncomfortable and self-conscious, but since I’m at home, I am comfortable with it. How often do you eat with other people? I would say whenever I’m out with my friends or family, so probably once or twice a week? To me, eating with my friends or family is like a form of fellowship. Sometimes when I have no idea what to do when I hang out with my friends or family, I figured that eating together is the best way to do so. If you’re talking about at home, I probably only eat with my family during Chinese New Years or any other celebrations such as birthdays or Christmas.

Table Talk: Qian Hui Ong

Usually, I’ll watch vlogs on YouTube while eating.

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What does your ideal dining table look like? And who would you invite to dinner?

If you had this week to do over again, what would you do differently?

I want those big natural wood slab dining tables, such as those you see in cottage houses. I just find it very cosy and natural. I would want to invite either all my friends or all my family members. I like the feeling of having to come together and enjoy a meal in each other’s company. Like those you see in movies, during Christmas or Thanksgiving, they will whip up some Western dishes and eat together. I just like that kind of vibe. Tell me your favourite home-cooked meal. Definitely my dad’s curry chicken. It’s so good that I would drink the curry like soup. You know sometimes when I am sleeping, I would literally wake up because of the curry chicken’s smell and I will go eat straight away. Also, my dad only cooks it once in a while, like during the weekends or when he is not working.

Ideal dining table reference

Table Talk: Qian Hui Ong

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Whisper of The Heart (1995, dir. by Yoshifumi Kondō)

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Table Talk with Shaun Ting A Q&A interview and conversation with Shaun Ting, Malaysian student pursuing Computer Science in Singapore, anime fan, and dear friend.

Table Talk: Shaun Ting

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Could you describe your “dining table”? My dining table is my study table! My 2kg keyboard often gets in the way, so I’ll have to push it away when I’m eating. I usually eat on my black mousepad unless my food is messy, if so I’ll remove it temporarily. It’s

If you were eating alone, what would you have?

pretty dull. The only colours I have are from my screen because I enjoy watching chill vlogs/cooking videos such as: NBA highlights, Doobydobap, HJEvelyn, anything in my recommended feed. When I’m not eating, I use the table for studying or entertainment. You’re currently a student in Singapore living in a shared house. Does the place have a dining table? If so, do you eat with your housemates? There is a dining table, but it’s rather small so we don’t regularly eat there. I only stay with two other housemates – one of which eats dinner with his family downstairs. It’s hard to find a time to get together and have dinner because of our different commitments. Back in Malaysia, do you tend to eat at your desk? Nope! I would usually eat at the dining table outside my room with my family. Though the table is really small and can only fit 3-4 people at most. If there are people over, we would eat around the living room. I understand you call home quite frequently, have you ever called home during meal time? Nope, most of the time I call home after my meals! I do so usually at around 9PM since my mealtime is pretty much my ‘do not disturb’ time as well.

Do you enjoy eating alone?

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I enjoy it! It’s one of the few moments I get to spend alone, which is great as an introvert. Though it wouldn’t be the same if I ate alone outside. There’s just something about being at home, maybe it’s the lack of noise. Comfort plays a part too because it adds on to the enjoyment of the meal!

Quite frequently! Since I’m out almost everyday, I end up having lunch at school. I’m kinda sick of school food, but it’s nice to have company. I prefer to have dinner at home though, it weirdly helps me feel productive for the rest of the night. If I have dinner outside, I’ll feel tired for the rest of the night. Then I’d just sleep and wouldn’t do any work LOL. Tell me your favourite home-cooked meal! Any form of curry my mom makes, they’re really bomb! From your Indian curries to Japanese curry. What does your ideal dinner table look like? Who would you invite to have dinner? Probably a smaller, intimate table that allows for everyone to interact with each other. Tables that are too big don’t allow for good chat! I’d invite my friends whom I haven’t spoken to in a while. There’s just something about reminiscing about old times while getting to know what they’ve been up to since our last meeting over a meal. But at the moment, if I had to be specific, probably family because I haven’t seen them in a while :’)

Table Talk: Shaun Ting

How often do you eat with other people?

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Table Talk: Shaun Ting

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How to Eat Alone (and Like it!) Table for one? It's not as bad as it sounds. Here's how to dine by yourself and enjoy every bite. by Jess McHugh, 2019 The New York Times

When the ancient Roman politician Lucius

romance of food, drink and their various joys seems

Lucullus noticed his night’s menu looking dull, he

to go out the window when we go from eating with

gave instructions to his cook to prepare a lavish,

another person to dining with ourselves. And much

multiple-course feast. When the cook asked

of the advice available on eating alone amounts to

what type of guests to expect, he responded with

“bring a book” (I have several hamburger-stained

indignation: “Dost thou not know that today Lucullus

books that attest to this being a bad idea). Yet, there is

dines with Lucullus?”

a freedom in eating alone, even if we need a little help to relish in it: no discussions of what we should order,

For Lucullus, meals were more than a social exercise:

no small talk, no sharing.

They were a ritual in personal pleasure. Greek dignitaries, for instance, described their shame at

In her book “Serve It Forth,” the 20th century food

how much money Lucullus had spent on a dinner

writer M.F.K. Fisher described watching an elderly

for them. “Some of this expense, my Grecian friends,

man eating alone with an almost religious reverence.

is indeed on your account; most of it, however, is on

He slowly consumed half an avocado sprinkled with

account of Lucullus,” he said.

powdered sugar and soaked in Russian kümmel liqueur. “He was at peace, and aware — aware that

For those of us who never refer to ourselves in the third person and often eat a cold egg roll standing over the sink for dinner, Lucullus’s attitude can feel more than a little foreign. Somehow all of the

Lucullus dined with Lucullus for a reason,” she wrote.

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Eva Cremers

Dine alone, but Engage with Others

Go in with a Strategy

For the past eight years, Amanda Cohen, chef at Dirt

necessarily correlate to how lonely you feel.

Psychologists have long tried to understand why the amount of time you spend alone does not

Candy in New York City, has done Valentine’s Day a little differently at her restaurant. Instead of the usual

In a study by the BBC in collaboration with academics

odes to coupledom, Ms. Cohen created a solo diner’s

from several universities in the United Kingdom,

tasting menu for the holiday. In the years since she

researchers found that some people who spent very

started the tradition, a kind of community has formed,

little time alone reported high loneliness, whereas

with regulars who come in alone but soon get to

others who were often alone did not always report

know the staff and other guests.

high loneliness.

“Make the most of it. Engage with your server; don’t

Megan Bruneau, a therapist and executive coach

be afraid to ask for things,” she said. “I want your

who has written about loneliness, has an idea about

experience to be just as good as if you’re two people,

why some people thrive with alone time. “They’re

three people, four people, or if you’re one person.”

more able to sit with the discomfort of passing emotions, and thus they don’t fear them as much,” she said in an email. “They’re more attuned to their own needs and practice self-care and self-compassion as necessary.” It all comes down to knowing your needs and coming up with coping mechanisms that work best for you, according to Ms. Bruneau. For some people that might mean sitting quietly and savoring each bite, but for others that could be phoning a friend while eating or even — that most taboo dinnertime activity — eating in front of the TV. As Ms. Bruneau put it, “Sometimes we need a little AGT” — “America’s Got Talent” — with our BLT.”

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Embrace your Guilty Pleasures While “solo dining” might conjure up images of

“Personally, I find that if there’s no one around

a corner booth at a cafe or a bar stool at a local

then I can almost celebrate those habits and those

restaurant, the ultimate solo dining experience is

things,” Ms. Widder said, citing a love of processed

eating home alone. It’s when we’re home alone —

food. Whether people felt fear or freedom, shame or

with no one watching what we’re eating, how or

pleasure seemed to come down to their own attitude.

where — that our quirks, eccentricities and guilty pleasures come out.

For her part, Ms. Widder said she found a certain comfort in the ubiquity of eating alone in a place like

Samantha Widder, now a graduate adviser for the

New York City. After all, if you’re eating old pickles out

food studies program at New York University, spent

of the fridge in a Brooklyn apartment, chances are

several months during her own graduate studies

that more than one neighbor is, too.

gathering accounts from 150 people of their food habits when eating alone. Responses showed a wide spectrum of food experiences, representing the joys, stigmas and even fears around eating alone. (One respondent said he would eat only soft food when eating by himself, for fear he would choke.) “I was thinking that I was going to find more of a celebratory tone, and there was more shame than I expected,” Ms. Widder said. People described eating frozen food, takeout leftovers in bed, cold cuts slathered in mustard, and in more than one case an entire box of crackers with an entire block of cheese.

Toast to Yourself

Practice Mindful Eating

If dining alone still carries stigma and anxiety

Mindfulness practice has entered mainstream

for many people, drinking alone might be the last

culture in recent years, often as a way to reduce

frontier. But as Victoria James, a New York City

stress and boost self-awareness. The practice of

sommelier and the beverage director at Cote,

mindfulness when it comes to food lends itself

explained, treating yourself to a quality cocktail or

perfectly to eating alone, according to Lynn Rossy,

a glass of wine can play a part in the richness of

Ph. D., president of the Center for Mindful Eating.

the experience. “I think that the best way to savor a

When eating alone, it’s easier to focus simply on the

beverage when you’re alone is just sort of have that

food: its colors, texture, taste, smell. For Ms. Rossy,

recognition; toast to yourself,” she said. “I think it’s a

mindful eating takes place before, during and after

really beautiful thing. So first and foremost, celebrate

a meal. It’s about deciding what you’re hungry for,

that moment.”

whether it’s summer-ripe tomatoes or rich pasta, and focusing only on the act of eating.

One of the challenges in dining alone is that so much of the best wine in a restaurant can come

“Mindfulness in general, just that act of bringing your

by the bottle. If the wines by the glass aren’t what

attention back to one thing over and over — and

you’re looking for, Ms. James suggested speaking

just eating,” she said. “That trains us to have more

to the server or sommelier to see if they have other

attention and focus. We all could use a little more

bottles open for tasting. In many states, including

attention and focus in this world we live in.

California and New York, diners can take home an unfinished bottle of wine. Ms. James encouraged diners to spring for a bottle, have a glass or two and then use that bottle as a way to revisit the experience over the next few days.

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Average Life of the Dinner Table Giovanni Rana, Italy'ss most loved fresh pasta maker, commissioned a study looking into the eating habits and routines of 2,000 people in the UK in 2016.

Meals eaten at the dinner table

Arguments

Meals eaten on the sofa

2451

132

1229

104

1995

302

Pieces of family "news"

Food stains or spills

374

1160

249

Falling asleep at the table

Meals unfinished

312

1101

hours

Time sitting at table

hours

Admin or work done at the table

hours

Time spent tidying and setting table

Moments of Passion

2705 Drinks spilt

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References

What would your last meal be?

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Wood texture. Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

Perhaps The World Ends Here, Joy Harjo (1951). poetryfoundation.org/poems/49622/perhaps-the-world-ends-here

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Night Revels of Han Xizai, Gu Hongzhong, Five Dynasties Period (907 -960). en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gu_Hongzhong

All images supplied by Lain Furniture. facebook.com/ LAINFURNITURE/

All images supplied by Rooted Furniture. rootedfurniture.co.uk

Griffin, M. (2021) A Seat at the Table [online]. Gastronomica. 21 (1), pp. 1-6. [online] online.ucpress.edu/gastronomica/ article-abstract/21/1/1/116214

The Dinner Party, Judy Chicago, 1974-79. Photo: Donald Woodman, 2002

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Eat Drink Man Woman (1994), dir. Ang Lee.

Justin Coetzee (2018), Ethical and Aesthetic Facets of The Dining Table. befrontmag.com/2018/05/17/ ethical-and-aesthetic-facets-of-the-dining-table

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Zhu Shengze Portrait. burnthefilm.org Yang Zhengfan Portrait. www.viennale.at/en/guest/ zhengfan-yang

As Tears Go By (1988), dir. Wong Kar Wai.

Clare Finney (2021) Table For One? Yes, Please. The Observer, The Guardian. theguardian.com/food/2021/sep/19/ table-for-one-the-joy-of-eating-alone

Romas Foord. romasfoord.co.uk.

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Ikea Lillasen tables. ikea.com/gb/en/p/ lillasen-desk-bamboo-90278277/

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Whisper of the Heart (1995), dir. Yoshifumi Kondō.

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Jess McHugh (2019), How to Eat Alone (and Like it!). nytimes. com/2019/10/30/smarter-living/how-to-eat-alone-and-like-it.html

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Eva Cremers. evacremers.com.

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Average Life of the Dinner Table, research commissioned by Giovanni Rana in 2016.

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