10 minute read
MOM + BABY YOGA
LEVELED SCALES:
BY DANIELLE VENTICINQUE (SHE/HER)
LIVING AN ALIGNED LIFE
We’ve all heard the term “work/life balance.” But what if I told you that doesn’t exist, and balance isn’t even the goal?
Balance is a state of equilibrium, carrying a weight of equal parts, and leveled scales. The individual facets of our daily existence are never equal in time or investment. Even our priorities aren’t equally weighted in importance.
Seven facets of overall being exist: work/career and life, intimacy and love, family and friends, personal development, physical self, and higher purpose/spirituality and lifestyle. Based on our priorities, some facets will undoubtedly outweigh others, and the scales will always be tipping. In other words, life-balance isn’t referring to the equality of our life facets, or a work/ life balance, but refers to living in a state of aligned harmony.
What is the method to achieving aligned harmony?
Within each of our facets we have goals: personal aspirations, a desired identity, and promises made. You may want a promotion at work, or to practice patience with your children. Whatever the desired result is, each of these aspirations require daily attention and action to achieve them.
Who you want to be should align with who you are.
Each of our personal aspirations and desired identities hold promises we’ve made to ourselves and our loved ones. These promises also require action in order to stay aligned. If your long-term goal is to be healthy and, each morning you promise yourself: ”Today’s the day I start moving my body.” To maintain inner peace, you need to keep that promise and get moving.
We are the product of our daily decisions and if they misalign with our desires, unhappiness, discontent, and misery thrive, and our lives fall out of balance. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, but how we choose to use them determines how satisfied we feel when we turn out the lights at night. Have we moved the needle forward on our life’s purpose or goals? Have we nurtured our priorities and desired identities? Have we taken action and kept our promises? In this regard, we are very much in control of our own optimism, happiness, and life balance.
You may want to audit your hours and how you use them, as well as take inventory of the daily choices you’re making and how they align with your goals. If you find your scales tipping due to inaction, make the necessary adjustments.
The secret or method to a balanced life is to never stop making adjustments and improvements on your actions toward your goals. Each day provides a new opportunity to align your scales.
Balance isn’t the goal, but the method itself. The scales that represent our priorities, personal aspirations, and desired identity should align with the method or daily actions we take to achieve them. This is where life-balance should occur.
Albert Einstein said: “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” Making the right choices day after day, and moving closer to your goals will create a life of harmony and a balanced life journey. +
The path to inner harmony is paved with our daily decisions.
We also have an identity to manage. Our identity embodies the labels we place on ourselves. We take pride in some labels, while disliking others. We may also want to add new labels to our identities. You may identify as a hard worker or a loving spouse. To live aligned, we need to nurture these labels. This goes for the labels you want to change or attain as well. In order to create harmony, you need to take action. Perhaps you want to be a reader; you buy the books, but they sit on your shelf collecting dust. This inaction toward your desired identity will cause you to become misaligned. To achieve balance, you either need to set aside time to read, or come to terms that “reader” is not who you are.
DANIELLE VENTICINQUE is a health and wellness guru, an author, and a momprenuer|CEO. Amid the 2020 pandemic, she founded Thrive Betterments (ThriveBetterments.com), personal growth jewelry and products. Her jewelry line was designed to empower women to establish six daily habits of prosperity and wellness, focusing on positive mindset and goal attainment. The betterment bracelets are a stylish, wearable progress report that cultivates accountability and self-management. Danielle thrives in Saint Paul, Minnesota.
GET BALANCED WITH BLACK TOURMALINE
BY KRISTEN BROWN (SHE/HER)
When you’re balancing work and life, your emotions, or your tree pose, it’s black tourmaline to the rescue! This gorgeous stone is perfect for grounding you when you are feeling offbalance or unfocused in your body, mind, or spirit.
Why? Black tourmaline “keeps an electric charge, as it is pyroelectric (meaning it can generate electricity when heated), as well as piezoelectric (meaning it can store an electrical charge), causing it to release negative ions and far infrared radiation — these are very beneficial for health.” (ShamanSisters.com) When a stone has these types of properties you know its healing powers will be superstrong!
The power of black tourmaline makes it a key part of everyone’s healing and wellness toolkit! Here are three awesome benefits of black tourmaline and ways to use them at work and at home.
1. BALANCE-BUILDER — Known for balancing yin-yang energy, syncing the left and right sides of the brain, and for grounding, this is the perfect stone if you’re suffering from physical dizziness, emotional turmoil, or mental fog. Invest in a larger piece of black tourmaline and keep it at your desk or in your home where you spend the most time. 2. NEGATIVITY-FIGHTER — This stone is a master of repelling bad vibes from the environment and people! Keep a piece of black tourmaline on you when you’re going into crowded places or will be around someone who triggers your stress response. It will balance your emotions. 3. MENTALITY-SUPERSTAR — When worry, anxiety, OCD, fear, claustrophobia, or other mental afflictions are taking over, black tourmaline can help calm the overactivity of thoughts and feelings that can spin out of control. Wear it as jewelry to maintain a consistent level of energetic balance and grounding throughout the day. +
KRISTEN BROWN is a bestselling author, workplace keynote speaker, and energy mastery expert who charges up her clients by syncing up their body/ mind/spirit for work and life growth. Connect with Kristen at: KristenBrownPresents.com
FINDING JOY THROUGH BALANCED RELATIONSHIPS
BY CARRIE JEROSLOW (SHE/HER)
The year was 2016. December. My very spirited children were three and seven years old. I was also a business owner and wife. But even though my “labels” seemed clear, I felt discombobulated at my core.
My obligations and expectations pulled me in every direction, and I found myself unanchored. Each day ended with me sobbing uncontrollably and losing patience with my kids — I was a pressure cooker desperately needing release. I was so far out of balance and unconsciously running on empty.
Sliding off the seesaw for the umpteenth time in a frenzy of emotions, I found myself alone in the car driving to get my children medicine. Silence surrounded me. Without conscious thought, I took a gulp of air into my weary lungs. With that breath, I created the smallest portal to look at what was really going on within me. I was spinning out of control. My adrenals were on overload. I was burnt out. After radical introspection, I realized I had lost the foundational relationship with myself.
As an older mother, I spent most of my 20s and 30s committed to my own selfunderstanding and healing. But on that frigid, icy winter evening, I realized I was a total stranger to myself.
Fast forward five years. Even though my life is much more hectic than it was back in 2016 with an additional business, I now feel more balanced, connected, and fulfilled.
So how did I get from there to here? And how can you do the very same thing?
First, take a deep breath. In the breath lies the portal I mention above.
Acknowledgement of where you have been, coupled with love and acceptance, is key as you venture on this path of healing. You did the best you could in every moment.
Next, do an honest assessment of where your energy currently goes. Journaling your obligations, commitments, and distractions is fundamental in understanding where you put your focus and attention. Only with this awareness can you consciously make different choices. Put your judgements aside and be as transparent with yourself as possible. Remember, you have always made the best choices you could make in any given moment.
Once you complete the list of where you are, start another list of where your joy lies. Entries could be as small as a hot cup of coffee and as big as worldwide travel. Where do you feel alive? Who do you feel inspired to be with?
I remember starting this list with a single word: “Quiet.” My life was cacophonic, and it made my mental chatter deafening.
When you get clear on where your energy is going and where your joy lies, you’ll have an idea of where to go with the next step: setting boundaries and learning to say no.
When I looked at where I was and compared it to where my joy was, I found major discrepancies. I needed to get back to my internal work, to the most important relationship I have — with myself. The time came to admit I couldn’t be everything to everybody. I identified my key relationships and questioned others. I gave myself permission to decline invitations if they didn’t excite me and to question the validity of my “obligations.”
This not only proved liberating, but also transformational. I found people were okay if I didn’t do everything I had done in the past. Events still happened if I wasn’t involved and, in fact, gave others a chance to rise and flourish.
Lastly, commit to a daily self-care practice. This is the final step to show how important you are to yourself. Three to five minutes every single day will have a cumulative effect of your showing up for yourself and filling your own container. Simple practices such as following your breath, journaling, and engaging in mindfulness can immensely help you find balance between the relationship with yourself and others.
I had practiced yoga for over 22 years, but sporadically at best, with the pressure of having to do a long session to “make it count.” This time, I intended to practice a daily minimum of three sun salutations. With each passing day, I began to get to know myself again. I awakened to my new self as a mother, wife, entrepreneur, and, most importantly, as an ever-evolving spirit.
My daily practice became my safe space to deepen the connection with myself. This served me in each of the steps above. I get on my mat with questions about a relationship or potential commitment, and I come out with clarity. I’m now more comfortable saying no when I feel stretched too thin. Because I connect with myself regularly, I am extra sensitive to the subtle sensations of imbalance. I learned to value my desire for joy and know I am worth living a life filled with it. I also learned that more times than not, people honor me when I choose to say no.
When you get clear on what you want and need, as well as what brings you joy, learn how to set healthy boundaries, and commit to a daily self-care practice, you create the space for your relationships to uplift you, bringing more happiness, balance, and connection. And in the end, isn’t this what life is really about? +
CARRIE JEROSLOW: International award-winning, best-selling author and intuitive, Carrie Jeroslow, helps people go from heartbreak to soulmate by sharing the steps in her first book, Why Do They Always Break Up with Me? She previously worked as a director for Blue Man Group, a massage therapist, and owner of a vineyard in North Carolina. The one constant has been her own path of self-discovery. She has been featured in Thrive Global and Winston Salem Journal, and has been interviewed by Marianne Williamson, and The List TV. She has recently co-authored her second book, A New Paradigm of Education.
