Your Magazine Volume 16 Issue 1: October 2021

YOUR MAG

VOLUME 16 | ISSUE 1 | OCTOBER 2021

YOUR MAG

is Emerson College’s monthly lifestyle magazine, established in the fall of 2011. Our organization gives students the opportunity to create written and visual content that is relevant and interesting to the Emerson community. It is a cooperative environment for students in the print media industry. In every issue, Your Magazine offers readers a fresh perspective from romance to representation.

YOUR MAG VOLUME 16 | FALL 2021

TALIA SMITH Managing Editor

AMANDA HAMPTON Editor-in-Chief

ELOISA DE FARIAS Co-Creative Director

MARIANNA REYES Romance Editor

MARIANNA REYES Co-Head Designer

LAUREN DILLOW Co-Creative Director

ABIGAIL ROSS Asst. Romance Editor

GABRIELA PORTUGAL Co-Head Designer

JULIA SMITH Asst. Creative Director

ALEXIS GARCIA-RUIZ A&E Editor

HAILEY KROLL Asst. Head Designer

T I M A S WA R AY Asst. Creative Director

KATHLEEN NOLAN Asst. A&E Editor

ALEA ADRIAN Asst. Head Designer

JULIA SMITH Style Director

MARYCATHERINE NEAL Living Editor

ISA LUZARRAGA Asst. Head Designer

A M YA D I G G S Asst. Style Director

ASHLEY FERRER Asst. Living Editor

NIKKI EMMA Asst. YMTV Director

KATIE POWERS Head Proofreader

OLIVIA CIGLIANO Style Editor

NEEKA BOROUMANDI Marketing Coordinator

NENA HALL Asst. Head Proofreader

TIFFANY CARBON Web Director

DELANEY BAILEY Co-Social Media Coordinator

NATASHA ARNOWITZ Art Director

LAUREN SURBEY Asst. Web Director

JULIA MALLON Co-Social Media Coordinator

REB CZUKOSKI Asst. Art Director

JESS FERGUSON Copy Chief

CHARLIZE TUNGOL Asst. Social Media Coordinator

ELIE LARGURA Photo Director

SYDNEY ROWLEY Asst. Social Media Coordinator

COPY EDITORS: CHARLOTTE DRUMMOND, TOM GARBACK, KATE HEALY, MADELYN MULREANEY, SARAH PERRY,

NATALIE RODRIGUEZ DESIGN: AINSLEY BASIC, CHLOE WILLIAMS, ANA HEIN, HALEY BROWN, MADELYN MULREANEY, TOBY LICHTENWALTER PROOFREADERS: MARYCATHERINE NEAL, MADELYN MULREANEY, CHARLOTTE DRUMMOND, KATE HEALY, BECCA LETTS FIONA MURPHY, KATIE FEHR, KATHRYN REDEFER, CHRISTINA HORACIO, CAMILA ARJONA, AMARIS RAMIREZ, VIVIAN NGUYEN, HELLEN ZHENG, NATALIE RODRIGUEZ

contents ROMANCE 4 #RELATIONSHIP GOALS 6 THE ART OF DYING ALONE 8 PLAN A AND B EDITORIAL 10 ghosts of the past STYLE 18 a new coordinated style

20 THE COLOR CAPSULE 22 sexy for spooky season 24 using astrology to pick your ‘fit EDITORIAL 26 somebody’s watching me LIVING 34 ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? 36 I am exactly like other girls 38 These hetero chains 40 What’s in my bag? A stun gun and an axe EDITORIAL 42 BE NOT AFRAID ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 50 DARK ACADEMIA—DELICIOUSLY THRILLING OR UNBEARABLY PRETENTIOUS? 52 MODERN FAMILY MADE OUR PARENTS HOMOPHOBIC 54 so you want to talk about sex (education) 56 the downfall of the comeback kid Y.MP3 58 songs that go bump in the night YM ADVISES 60 scariest red flags ARTIST STATEMENT 62 artist statement

YMEMERSON.COM | INSTAGRAM: @YOUR.MAG

2 | yourmag

EDITOR’S letter

H

appy October! Like most of you, I’m a freak for Halloween. I love planning way-too-elaborate group costumes, double-featuring Jennifer’s Body and Suspiria, wandering around occult shops, and unabashedly consuming allllll the cliche pumpkin paraphernalia. For a month (really, for most of the year) I jump at the chance to lean into the spook-factor, hard.

Right now, though, the world outside our bedrooms feels scarier than any haunted house or horror movie. It’s not just because we’re getting older and the veil sheltering us from reality is lifting—we’ve been asked to cope with threats that have no timeline and are impossible to fully define. We’ve been dealt a hand of fear, paranoia, and isolation with no clear resolution.

Still, humans are resilient little animals, and even in the face of all this doom and gloom and chaos, we find ways to cope.

When things get heavy, we seek out connection.

I’m incredibly proud of the past and present Your Mag team for carrying us through the difficulties of previous semesters, for continuing to provide an outlet for creatives even when the world turned upside down.

This month, we’re choosing to stare back at the abyss, so to speak. We’re learning to sit with our fear, to let it be a source of entertainment and reflection. We’re exposing

the dark sides of genres we love and owning aspects of our identities that we’ve been afraid to face. We’re turning horror into art and finding beauty in the uncomfortable and uncanny.

We’re also celebrating the fact that alongside fear and uncertainty, there is newness and growth, whether we’re talking evolutions in personal style, trying out astrology-related life-hacks, or distancing ourselves from performative social media habits. Also, as you can tell from our masthead, our executive board has expanded, and we couldn’t be more excited to welcome all our new faces.

So, to sum things up: the world is dark and scary, but we made you a magazine. We hope that you get as much relief out of reading it as we did creating it.

We’re glad you’re here.

Spookily yours,

Amanda

yourmag | 3

#RELATIONSHIP GOALS WRITTEN BY ABIGAIL ROSS

PHOTOGRAPHED BY TAINA MILLSAP

I

was cheated on.

After almost four years of what appeared like love, I found out my ex-boyfriend was seeing someone else. On the night of prom, I saw several messages popping up on his phone screen from a girl I didn’t know. Knowing this might have ended badly, I scanned through their texts inside his phone. He had sent her kissy faces and heart emojis. She reciprocated with admiration.

The exchange had happened for months. I never usually did this.

I thought we could trust each other, but it turned out that he was planning to see her again soon. I cried to him later on and told him I knew about her. My makeup was a mess, dripping down my face in defeat. I could not believe it. He sobbed and said, “We all make mistakes.’ Nevertheless, we still attended the event together.

He persuaded me to stay.

The photos were beautiful. I struggled to come to terms with our dwindling relationship. I wanted to convince everyone I knew that we were happy, so I posted a collage of pictures on every social media platform I could think of. I remember the caption vividly: “I can’t believe i hitched a date with aquaman <3.” I viewed him as this movie star, someone who stole my heart from the very beginning. We stood together in formal attire, hand-in-hand. I gazed over each photo on repeat, refreshing my Instagram and Facebook pages every five seconds. There were hundreds of likes and dozens of comments telling me how much of a great couple we were. But it was all a facade—a memory stained with regret in my mind. We were together for so long, I was not ready to let go. They made me feel better.

And that’s the core of this problem. My acquaintances, friends, family, people that I didn’t even know thought our relationship was their #goal. I created a safe space on Instagram, a whole online world that would never know what occurred between us that evening. All that mattered was what every portrait of us depicted: a content couple who had been waiting for the moment to go to prom ever since they first met. We hugged and smiled, and our eyes twinkled in front of the camera. We put on a production for everybody to see. I imagined invisible hands clapping, cheering us on, rooting for us to survive. Except they didn’t know the truth.

I craved acceptance from a place I was not receiving any. Behind the scenes, my heart was broken.

4 | romance

I felt like I needed to perform for others. If my ex-boyfriend and I seemed happy online, maybe it would cover up my dejected feelings in real life—a conception often tied to social media. In reality, we were still together for the consumption of others, which promoted a more significant following and outer acceptance for false happiness. There was no way that after four years, people would handle our breakup well. It was easy to post professional pictures on every platform, allowing omniscient online users to judge whether or not my relationship was perfect. Nobody is perfect, but I portrayed it as something that people could validate for me, although deep down, I was grieving. People fell in love with us being together.

So I remained with him for six more months, reassured that I could show people my strength. Countless weeks passed by, filled with arguments, mistrust, and dishonesty before I recognized my self-worth. I posted more pictures on Instagram and Facebook of us going out to dinner and seeing family without a care in the world because I knew people would love it. I was stuck in a constant loop that appeared to have no end. How many followers will view my story of us at the beach? Will they think anything is wrong?

How come this post of us didn’t get as many likes as this one? I wondered if they ever knew, and it tortured my being. I could not stand the idea of letting go and what it might have meant through the lens of social media. My obsession with becoming everybody’s #RelationshipGoals overpowered and altered my sense of self.

The authentic self—not the online persona. That’s when I knew I had to leave.

Eventually, I came back to social media without a relationship. It took me a while to delete all the precious memories that I once wanted to preserve. When I finally did, my acquaintances, friends, family, and people I didn’t even know were confused. All this time spent generating my online love life was put toward my growth as an individual. I evolved from that point forward. After I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, he asked if we could still be friends. It pained me inside that he still wanted to use me. But I deserved so much more. I declined his request and unfollowed his Instagram and Facebook profiles. I cultivated a new online space for myself—one that was not so focused on others but rather on what I could provide for myself. #SelfLoveGoals. YM

romance | 5

6 | romance

The Art of Dying

Alone

WRITTEN BY AMYA DIGGS

ART BY REB CZUKOSKI

he desire to love and be loved exists because of the natural instinct that humans have to connect with one another. Our existence thrives through the inner workings of connection that is run by both platonic and romantic relationships. Without our acknowledgment of other people, we would not know who we are, so how can we blame ourselves for our inevitable desire to love?

There are two main types of relationships: one that involves romance, and the other that is based solely around a close bond between two or more people. A best friend to keep you company, a romantic partner to spend your life with, and a close connection with your favorite professor all have drastically different dynamics, but in the end, they are all some form of a relationship. Having a large variety of relationships in our lives is ideal to feel successful and satisfied, but why is it that a romantic connection is the most sought after and deemed the most important connection to a considerable amount of people?

You can and should share love between your platonic connections, but having a romantic connection with someone is unlike any other relationship. We know this from our personal experiences, from seeing other people go through romantic relationships, and from the universal understanding of what love is “supposed to be.” Romantic relationships are hard to describe because they are more of a feeling, but once you have felt this kind of love, you will instantly understand why it is so desired.

Take it from Gail, 83, and Lynn, 82. With their marriage of only one year, they find themselves always together and are “very much in love.” They both feel lucky to have found their love for each other, but discovering a new romantic relationship at an older age sounds like it could be scary. What seems to be the expected experience of being in love with someone feels rushed, and the older you get, the more you gain the “time is running out” feeling. But there is no time limit on romance–Gail and Lynn are the perfect examples of that.

Molly Howard, 18, and Conall Sahler, 19, feel that between

COVID and previously being long-distance, their time apart has created an even stronger bond, but both still have fears of loneliness even while being in a year-and-a-half-long relationship. Sahler says, “It would be horrible if we broke up. A lot of who I am is still me, but a large part is her as well.” Although they would be okay without each other, it’s not something that either of them is striving for.

The only describable difference between a romantic relationship and a platonic relationship is romantic attraction—everything else is the same. There are people who may not find a romantic attraction to anyone, some who may not be ready for the commitment, and others who may not have the time for it.

For Charles Bruin, a 33-year-old graduate student at Emerson, life has just been too busy to be in a romantic relationship. When asked about the idea of loneliness, he says, “It doesn’t scare me, but I might get sad about it sometimes.” He then furthers his response to talk about how he fills the gap of a romantic relationship by engaging more in his platonic friendships. Bruin does have the desire to one day be in love, but for now, he is content with where he is.

Evolving yourself more in your platonic relationships can help fill the void of those wanting to love but not having the time for it, or it could be enough for those who have no desire to love but still want the close connection of another person.

Navigating a new schedule and after just getting out of a “situationship,” Alex Lewis ‘25 says, “I don’t think that I could deal with the 100 percent time commitment of being in a true emotional relationship.” However, they do have the desire to be in love in the future.

Not many people want to die alone, and in the end, most people won’t. Even if not in a romantic relationship, there are other connections that we make throughout our lives with people who care for us in ways that still fulfill our need to bond with each other. For some people, this is enough. But for others, there is still a desire in them

t

to have a romantic relationship. YM

romance | 7

B

irth control f*cking sucks” Is typically not something you’d hear from anyone trying to not get accidently pregnant.

The reality of it is that it really does f*cking suck. I guess it has some benefits to it—for example, not conceiving, and having lighter periods. Those are the big facts that everyone talks to you about before you’re sitting in the doctor’s office for the first time. Then in smaller letters on the bottom of a pamphlet they hand you is a list of side effects you hear you might get, but your conscious mind tells you that you won’t. Vomiting, nausea, weight gain, acne, and back aches are a few on that list. Let’s not forget what happens if you forget to take the pill one single day out of the whole cycle.

The realistic part is that most people are excited to get on birth control at the beginning, until they realize the horrifying side of it. The chances of one getting pregnant while on birth control is also a lot higher than one might think.

The effectiveness of the pill, according to Medical News Today, is 91%, meaning approximately one out of 100 women who take the pill become pregnant in a year. All Intrauterine Devices (IUD’s) have similar failure rates. If an IUD is not placed correctly at a doctor’s office, it can perforate your uterus, increase bleeding, and even become expelled. Although it’s one of the most effective forms of birth control, it actually isn’t recommended for use unless you’ve had a previous pregnancy. The pain level increases during insertion if you choose to have it placed before having a child.

The depo shot is another option, but let’s face it, most people don’t want to be injected every three months, and as soon as you miss a dose, it’s game over. Or you can choose to get an implant and have a foreign item most likely placed in your arm for a few years.

However, there aren’t many choices when it comes to protection that will certainly protect you from an unplanned pregnancy, especially options that don’t interfere with day-to-day life, whether that be emotionally, physically, painfully, and more. Although birth control is seen as the normal way that individuals can prevent pregnancy, there are a few others that don’t interfere with the uterine bodily functions.

Vasectomies are a form of pregnancy prevention that aren’t normalized or talked about as often as they should.

It involves the sealing of the tubes to prevent sperm from passing through. This procedure is a one-time act unless the individual wants to reverse it. It does not affect the overall mood or physical or mental health of the individual undergoing it and has over 99 percent effectiveness. Much like the insertion of an IUD, a vasectomy might cause temporary pain; however, its effectiveness is higher, and it does not release hormones or substances into the human body.

It has taken many years to normalize birth control. Preventing pregnancy has never been so painful and difficult on the human body, both physically and mentally—pain, weight gain, acne, and nausea, to name a few. It’s time to now normalize other forms of prevention, such as vasectomies. Next time your friend is questioning whether or not to get on birth control, don’t forget to mention how much it f*cking sucks.

YM

8 | romance

Plan A and B WRITTEN BY MARIANNA REYES

ART BY NATASHA ARNOWITZ

romance | 9

ghosts of the past DIRECTED BY ELOISA DE FARIAS AND JULIA SMITH PHOTOGRAPHED BY CARYS HIRAWADY MODELED BY ZARINA LEVITSKY AND SERGIO CANA RODRIGUEZ STYLED BY JULIA SMITH MAKEUP BY JENNIE GRECO HAIR BY HELLEN ZHANG

10 | yourmag

yourmag | 11

14 | yourmag

yourmag | 15

WRITTEN BY LILY BROWN ART BY FIONA MURPHY

18 | style

A New Coordinated Style K

hakis, ankle socks, Sperrys, and a polo shirt. This was the outfit I wore everyday for the last seven years. While my Catholic school uniform was coined “perfectly nice” by the administrators as it created a sense of community, it was pretty bland looking back at it now. However, this was all I knew until I came to a completely new style scene at Emerson a month ago.

Being from Salem, Massachusetts, a city full of unique styles, you would think I would have found mine sooner. Catholic school made me used to wearing the same outfit everyday. While there were subtle ways of showing my true self, it was barely enough.

The biggest flex was painting our nails fun colors or wearing cool sneakers, but even that had its limits. God forbid we ever dyed our hair an “unnatural” color too. Students were constantly dress-coded, sent to detention, and sometimes even sent home.

Outside of school, I would wear somewhat normal clothes on the weekends and during the summer, but I dressed more for comfort rather than class. Sweats were the norm for me. I never expected I could feel so underdressed at college.

On move-in day, I wore a loose American Eagle top and a pair of Under Armor running shorts with my Air Force Ones. What I originally thought was a cute, sporty outfit instantly turned into an ultimate miss as soon as I saw what the other people on my floor were wearing.

There was an edgy girl who rocked low rise jeans with a red and black lace crop top and a choker. Another wore Y2K trends style with conflicting colors and loud logos. My own roommate shines in her vintage hipster style, stone jewelry, and worn graphic tees.

I was so intimidated by these unique styles. While I had some taste, what I was wearing was completely lackluster beside everyone else. In reality, it probably did not mean as much to them as it did to me, but the feeling of being overlooked haunted me for weeks.

The clothes I brought to Emerson now seemed dull. Even though I loved my indie style clothing from Urban Outfitters or PacSun, it took me forever to find an outfit that would be acceptable to me for the day.

It especially hurt because I had been trying to revamp my personal

style since I graduated.

I discarded so many of my old plain tees and looked for new pants beyond the khakis and sweatpants, but I guess to no avail. My favorite outfit I brought, an oversized graphic tee with acid washed denim shorts, could not compare to the complex fashion styles some already had.

With my mother being in the fashion industry, she tried to help me become more stylish. She knew what was good to wear, but it still wasn’t my true style. The preppy tops and the casual jeans felt too mature and covered up.

Because of this insecurity, I was determined to figure out what fashion sense worked best for me. After browsing popular retail websites like Cider and Dolls Kill, discovering different types of styles on Pinterest, and a few trips to the boutiques on Newbury Street, the journey to finding my style was underway.

It’s been so exciting to discover the new trends like street style, and I loved to apply them to myself. The trial and error might be tedious at times. It was more difficult to figure out how to dress my body or skin tone since I hadn’t had to think about it before. Despite this, I have discovered my love for ripped jeans and crop tops instead of the khakis and polos.

Along with that, I have been trying to incorporate my personality.

I try to follow my favorite color palette: blue, light green, brown, and pastel pink. I also try to find cool designs that embody me like flowers (my name), butterflies (my grandmother’s favorite insect), or skeletons (my hometown, Salem, MA).

Even though I’m still in the process of finding my style, being true to myself and wearing what I want has been the single most important thing I’ve discovered in creating a personal style. I need to be confident as I am the one in control of how I want to present myself. While there was a time in my life that I needed to follow the Holy Clothing Commandments, my personal style can now be whatever I make, from sweats to chic. YM

style | 19

The Color Capsule: A

WRITTEN BY VIVI SMILGIUS

s a self-proclaimed fashion experimentalist and a die-hard fan of statement pieces, I never found myself drawn to—or capable of—adopting a capsule wardrobe. But as I packed for the fall semester, my closet overwhelmed me. I’d taken to thrifting and online shopping while spending the summer in my small hometown, and it showed. My shelves were chock-full; clothing rods threatened to give way to the weight of a hundred hangers.

I remembered a tweet that suggested following a color scheme when packing for vacations, a strategy designed to erase the pressure of creating individual outfits by compiling a collection of matching options. It was essentially a fashionable take on the Steve Jobs black shirt, blue jeans routine.

I’d never tried the strategy, but I had two days to pack and no other options.

So I chose my color scheme—black, white, brown, pink, and green—and the packing process became infinitely easier. Slowly, I felt the pressure for perfection dissipate.

When I arrived at Emerson, the pressure returned. Emerson students wear everything from one-of-a-kind thrift finds to top-notch designer clothes. My closet felt simple, and I felt inferior, yearning for the variety I left at home.

But I knew the clothes I brought would be the ones I wore all semester, and I needed to make the best of them. So I started experimenting with color combinations, piling on layers, trying my hand at minimalism and maximalism and everything in between. My closet’s limited color selection

20 | style

Steve Jobs, but make it fashion

PHOTOGRAPHED BY OLIVIA CIGLIANO

eliminated the challenge of matching and gave me freedom to play with accessories, aesthetics, and silhouettes.

I had several small epiphanies. I dabbled in monochromatic outfits, especially for my 8 a.m. class, because monochrome is effortless but appears collected and chic. My cohesive closet reduced the time I spent choosing outfits and allowed me to spend more time curating my whole look, from jewelry to makeup to hair. And shopping—especially thrifting—got easier. The once-overwhelming racks of clothes now feel far less intimidating since I only shop for certain colors.

The best part about the color capsule is it’s easy to personalize. You don’t need to pare down your wardrobe to a certain number of items or buy a closet’s worth of new clothes.

This semi-compact wardrobe continues to give me more options, freedom, and fun than any closet I’ve ever had. My new color palette helped me build confidence in my own style and worry less about other people’s wardrobes. It turned the pressure to compete with others into a desire to be inspired. And, as silly as it sounds, it made a positive impact on my mental health. The time I spend choosing my outfits now feels creative instead of stressful. I’m excited about my outfits, satisfied with my style and confident in myself.

So, next time you find yourself swimming in sweaters or simply searching for a wardrobe shift, try a color capsule wardrobe. Who knows? It just might change your life. Ym

style | 21

Sexy for Spooky Season WRITTEN BY ANNE O’LEARY

A

s Cady Heron from the classic movie Mean Girls said, “Halloween is the one night a year where a girl can dress like a itotal slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” Not limiting ourselves to gender and the complete misogyny of that statement, if you were to approach the adult section in any Halloween store, you’d see every name usually begins along the lines of “sexy” and “naughty.” It seems as though you can make a sexy costume out of every animal, occupation, celebrity, and character. But the question is: Why has Halloween become such a sexualized holiday? Is Halloween inherently this way, or have costumes had something to do with this ritual we love to do every year?

What we consider to be the modern version of “sexy” Halloween costumes didn’t arise until the 1970s, but Halloween has been a Celtic tradition since before the 8th century. People wore costumes from animal skins and believed gods were visible.

By the 11th century, it turned into the Christian holiday All Saints’ Day. This continued into Canada and America by the 18th century with the influx of Scottish and Irish immigrants. It became very popular quickly, embracing the pagan and dark attributions. Over the centuries, Halloween became a holiday, rather than a religious tradition.

In the 1940s and ‘50s, Hollywood molded what we make of today’s modern costumes–to look glamorous and scary all in one. Before, witches were seen as old women with warts; now, they’ve become freshfaced pin-up girls in front of a green screen.

A couple decades later came the sexual revolution. People of all backgrounds began taking control of their sexualites. This included the rise of openly queer people moving to cities and creating communities.

This began the modern ways regular people embraced sexy costumes with gay Halloween parades and parties in the major cities like NYC and San Fransisco. Drag queens, in particular, participated in what were seen as “outrageous” events, embracing the idea of becoming an original character for a night. They changed the norms in many ways, embracing unfiltered sexuality and gender non-comforming flare.

By the ‘80s, horror movies solidified the popularity of a commer-

22 | style

PHOTOGRAPHED BY SOFIA FARRES

cialized Halloween. By the 2000s, it was a certified party holiday filled with sexual undertones. Today, it’s clear sexy costumes will not be going away. It’s a billion dollar industry and has become more than just a one-night-a-year use. Couples and singles use costumes/fetish wear for sexual purposes. Many people like the exploration aspect and the confidence it gives them, just like the confidence one feels on Halloween night.

So, what is a sexy costume? Well, it’s a bit difficult to define because it’s different for every person. Your Magazine Style Director Julia Smith defines a sexy Halloween costume as “a lot of lace, hosiery, it doesn’t necessarily have to be revealing. For example, a maid’s costume is considered sexy but isn’t a very revealing outfit.”

Smith also notes there are gender-related stereotypes with sexy Halloween costumes. “Even when gay men do it, it’s consisdered feminine when gay men can be super masculine and sexy at the same time,” they say. “Items like leather and lace are considered feminine even though they are just attributes of clothing.”

Well, it’s important to note these “rules’’ were created to keep an imposed gaze, particularly onto women. Within Halloween party culture, there’s an inherent rule known by everyone that the more you dress what’s considered “sexy,” the more you’ll be seen. Halloween, despite being about unseen spirits, is about seeing and being seen.

Much of it is about being looked at, even if it’s enjoyable to receive that attention. There isn’t really another tradition like it in Western culture, a holiday dedicated to the idea of dressing up to be seen and even desired by others. Social media especially highlights this phenomenon, as posting your costume on Instagram is a way to show off a cooler, sexier, more clever costume to your peers and followers.

But the sentiment has pretty much stayed the same after all these years: Halloween is fun. It’s a creative outlet for those wanting to let go and be somebody else for one night. It gives a dangerous spark for those wanting to have fun. It’s important to remember that a “sexy” costume is a costume that you are comfortable and confident in—one that makes you feel not only sexy but empowered. It’s the one night you can become someone else yet be true to yourself. YM

style | 23

Using Astrology to pick your ‘fit O

ver the summer I was doom-scrolling TikTok tarot card readers when I came across advice that actually resonated. Apparently, my life was in chaos and it was time I enter an introspective, hermit crab-like period to reflect and rebalance. They advised wearing black to protect my precious energy and my Scorpio rising inner voice said, “good idea.” It was July, so my wardrobe sung the range of lime green, baby pink, turquoise, and purple, though I agreed I wanted to recalibrate. I soon acquired a few black basics to begin my “black period,” in which I carefully wore head-to-toe black on days I felt a bit “off.” Call it a placebo, but it made me feel better, safer perhaps.

I follow practicing astrologers on Twitter and took note of discourse describing planetary “luck” that can be attracted according to the color you wear and the day of the week. Vedic astrology and Feng Shui consider the color of clothing as a means of protection and energy balance as well. What a foolproof way to get dressed, I thought.

Why not dress to my full, universe-guided potential?

Color is manipulated to evoke feelings and awaken our senses all the time. Bakeries are painted pink to encourage customers’ sweet tooths and fast food restaurants use bold yellow and red to evoke happiness and hunger. Whether you “believe” in astrology or not, color psychology supports the placebo.

Cultural traditions also assign colors to days. In Brazil, it’s superstitous to wear all white on New Year’s Eve with colored underwear peaking beneath. The Portuguese expression Ano novo, vida nova, meaning “New year, new life!,” is embraced by Rio de Janeiro partiers who jump into the ocean at midnight and make a wish on seven waves that must be faced head-on. In Thailand, people used to dress in colors assigned to days of the week, based on the deity that protects each day. Traditionally, there are lucky and unlucky colors to be mindful of.

24 | style

WRITTEN BY OLIVIA CIGLIANO PHOTOGRAPHY BY OLIVIA CIGLIANO

Similarly, Hindus dedicated each day to a different god, with special rituals and colors to worship in, based on the god’s favorite and least favorite colors.

Babylonians in 500 BCE (the original astronomy and astrology girls) assigned each day to the planets visible to the naked eye. The week starts on Sunday, its “planet” unsurprisingly being the Sun. As the ruler of the sign Leo, it brings themes of vitality, nobility, and passion.

The colors associated with this day are red, orange, and deep magenta, so wear these hues to heighten creative energy. Monday is represented by the Moon, Cancer’s “planet,” which is all about emotional instinct and changing moods. Monday is a clean slate, so wearing whites, blues, and silvers will calm the senses to support whichever new direction you may take.

Tuesday corresponds to Mars, an assertive and impulsive energy, which rules the sign Aries. Symbolized by the headstrong bull, this energy can be harnessed to get through the grind, in strong reds.

Wednesday is influenced by Mercury, the planet of communication and ruler of analytical Virgo and Gemini. Mercury priotizes logic over emotion, clever wit, and media communication. Wear green on “hump day” to encourage a fresh perspective and creative approach to any verbal or written work. Jupiter, the planet of luck, abundance, and worldy expansion rules Thursday in yellow and gold. Also the ruler of Sagittarius, Jupiter day is best for kicking off a weekend trip or philosphizing under the stars.

Friday is ruled by romantic Venus, the planet of love, attraction, and harmony, and the signs Taurus and Libra. Manifest loving feelings and compassion for yourself and others by wearing soft pink, white, and cream. Friday also encourages shapeshifting with your look or special plans with your boo. Finally, Saturday is ruled by Saturn, the planet of disciplined commitment and responsibility. Embodied by Capricorns, this energy is known for wisdom and forward planning, which can be heightened with black, navy, violet, and gray, .

Western cultures to this day wear black in mourning to signal loss and bring emotional comfort. Color is a tool for dressing intentionally, a way of tangibly manifesting how you want to feel or operate that day. So if you’re stumped about your ‘fit for class or work, look to the sky, like you would the the earthly weather report, to help decide on the appropriate hues to attract good vibes. And with several planets in retrograde throughout October–Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto–this universe hack might come in handy. YM

Color is a tool for dressing intentionally

style | 25

26 | yourmag

somebody’s watching me DIRECTED BY JULIA SMITH PHOTOGRAPHED BY NIKKI EMMA MODELED BY ETHAN DENK, LILY BLACKMAN, AND SHAYMAA SAUNDERS STYLED BY JULIA SMITH MAKEUP BY JENNIE GRECO

yourmag | 27

28 | yourmag

yourmag | 29

30 | yourmag

yourmag | 31

32 | yourmag

yourmag | 33

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? WRITTEN BY NATALIA DE ZUBIAURRE

W

hen you think of Halloween, all things creepy come to mind: Ghosts, gore, and potential axe murderers. If you’re easy to frighten, the holiday can be a source of anxiety, but it doesn’t need to be that way.

For those with an aversion to horror, it can be difficult to enjoy the spooky, often scary festivities October has to offer. As someone who’s been raised watching horror movies and visiting graveyards for fun, scary experiences rarely leave me scared. So how do we become more comfortable when there’s a whole month dedicated to being scared?

Halloween and scary things in general are all about how you approach it. Nickolas Constantino, a junior at Boston College and a person who does not enjoy horror, says, “I think the good thing about Halloween is that you can kinda do the whole dressing up thing without it being anything scary at all.”

Even if the frights of October are imposing, by taking your own spin on the holiday you can make it whatever you’d like.

But why would you ever want to be scared? Dr. Lindsey Beck, a professor of psychology at Emerson College, explains, “As humans, we generally do like to be stimulated or aroused by our environment. For some, watching a horror movie can hit that sweet spot of being scared but also feeling like you’re in a safe place.”

Beck also says there are ways to desensitize yourself to horror

ART BY HANNAH BAYNES

via exposure. “They could start off by taking in media that’s a little bit scary for them, but not too scary, and doing so in a safe and supportive space. As they feel more comfortable, they can gradually increase the intensity of that experience,” Beck says.

For some, scary things are more than just something of interest, it is a career. For Mary Barrett Costello, President of Barrett’s Haunted Mansion, fright is everything. “I was in there the other night for the first time since we opened and I got scared, like really scared,” says Barrett.

Being scared doesn’t always have to be something negative according to Barrett.

“I think it’s an adrenaline rush, you do something that you’re a little afraid of and you come out on the other end laughing or crying, whatever. It’s a bit of an accomplishment if you’re afraid.”

Even if you’re one to enjoy the scary things in life, no one is exempt from feeling scared. For me, I find some comfort in the knowledge that whether it’s a haunted house or a horror movie, I can find some small thing to make light of.

Another lens you can take is one of curiosity. If you’re wrapped up in the logistics of the experience, little room is left for actual fear. Host of “The Graveyard Shift” on WECB, Caroline Porell agrees, saying, “I think it’s a natural morbid curiosity.

For some more than others. I think it’s fun to test your limits.”

Next time you find yourself in a scary situation, move forward with care and intention, and don’t be afraid to get a little spooky. YM

“I THINK IT’S NATURAL MORBID CURIOSITY. FOR SOME MORE THAN OTHERS. I THINK IT’S FUN TO TEST YOUR LIMITS.”

34 | living

living | 35

36 | living

I AM EXACTLY LIKE OTHER GIRLS WRITTEN BY MOLLY GOODRICH

ART BY ELIZABETH APPLE

N

your favorite song starts trending on TikTok, and now everyone knows o, really. it. You want to scream that it was yours first, you knew it before there For all of middle school, I hid how much I loved One Diwas a cute dance, and you want to be rewarded for that. rection. Out of everything I should have probably been Social media has only sped up this problem. “Pick Me Girls” ashamed of during that time, that was the one thing I was deeply is another version of this trend, which is also a variation of “Manic embarrassed about. Despite the fact they were the most popular band Pixie Dream Girl” from the early 2010s. Clearly, no matter what this at the time, One Direction was seen as criminally uncool to enjoy. And is being called, it all comes back to the same issue–putting down other for the first time in my life, I realized it could be lame to like something girls. And it’s being recycled year after year after year. so likable.

Mary Anne Taylor, an assistant professor at Emerson and a rhetThis was at the precipice of a trend that has plagued us to this day; aloric and gender scholar, believes that this issue is by no means recent, though, the term hadn’t quite been invented yet. Claiming that you’re and can actually be seen in many eras. “We saw this in the 90’s Riot Not Like Other Girls is how we often get away with misogyny in 2021. grrl culture, we saw this with punk. A lot of women were trying to In order to be seen as different, unique, or quirky, there is a presseparate themselves from that because of those stereotypes.” sure to become anything but yourself. Maybe it has morphed over the When it comes to feminism, there may be a years, but the foundation is all the same—by desire to feel as though you are not like the ones desperately trying to separate yourself from causing problems, or being difficult. You’re not the girls around you, you are letting it be like those crazy, bra burning girls– you’re norknown you are cooler, edgier, better. It is not “There’s always been mal, you’re good, you’re sane, even if you want just that you are the best option, but that those this innate pressure to to be out there burning bras with them. Perhaps other girls are worse by default. compete, and sometimes 30 years ago, there was no catchy name for this The real epidemic begins when the shame need to be separate due to the fact our interests is placed on other girls, other women. I’m not you find yourself doing weren’t as broadly broadcasted on social media. like other girls, I’m better. this without even Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter have all conOlivia de Recat first wrote about this pherealizing it. “ tributed to this rise in feeling like you need to be nomenon in The New Yorker in 2017. She wrote different, especially when it can feel as though a satirical piece declaring that other girls are we are all the same. picky at restaurants, wear too much makeup, When there are trends built around specifand can’t be “one of the guys.” But not her. ically pointing out exactly how every girl wears the same fall outfit, While this essay dramatically imagines a date in which you’d spend drinks the same coffee, and can’t help but turn up the newest Taylor the entire night dissing other women, it is not too far from the truth.

Swift song, it feels like a direct attack. And in many ways, it is one.

And for the most part, I can’t even really blame the girls who feel Is there a way out of this cycle we’ve created for ourselves? As a as though they must distance themselves from other women. There’s general rule, we’re all sort of damned if we do, damned if we don’t. always been this innate pressure to compete, and sometimes you find If you love The Beatles, you’re doing it to impress your boyfriend. If yourself doing this without even realizing it. you exclusively listen to Top 40 radio, you need to branch out, expand You grab a beer at the bar instead of a fruity cocktail, and the your interests. So you might as well just do what you want. YM guy next to you seems impressed. It immediately becomes ingrained in you that you’re cool, different, maybe even special. And isn’t that a feeling we’re all trying to chase? We’ve all fell victim to this. Maybe

living | 37

38 | living

these hetero chains WRITTEN BY SISEL GELMAN

A

year ago, my best friend from high school came to lunch at

my house. It was a beautiful sunny day in Mexico City, so I

laid out a picnic for him and we got to catch up on our lives between sips and small bites of cheese and grapes.

The conversation mostly centered around how we had transitioned into college. He told me about his new hobbies and his new friends, and I told him about my new classes and my all-female friend group.

“Well, that’s weird,” he said.

“What is?” I asked.

“In high school, you only hung out with boys.”

My lips parted, and in that moment, as if a lightbulb had gone off in my head, I realized the reason why I struggled with having female friends in high school was that I had been subjected to compulsory heteronormativity.

Compulsory heterosexuality is the theory that women are assumed and forced to be heterosexual in our patriarchal society. Popularized by Adrienne Rich in the ‘80s, comphet theory is the starting point to understanding how heterosexuality is woven into the fabric of our society’s institutions to sustain the continual patriarchal and capitalist oppression of women.

In my experience, compulsory heterosexuality forces women to seek and fight for male approval. In a world where all women are assumed to be heterosexual, all women are also assumed to desire a male partner; this flattens the female experience to the hunt and acquisition of a male partner. Compulsory heterosexuality boxes women into the roles of a mother or a housewife because this heterosexual view reduces women to their reproductive abilities—not their complex humanity.

My freshman year of college, I realized I was attracted to women.

It was both a stark revelation and a relief. On one hand, I was frightful about how my newfound queerness would impact my life, but it was also a joy to live authentically as myself. It changed my relationship with my new female college friends and the way I approached women in general: they were no longer my enemies.

Girls from a young age are taught to compete against each other for the few social and political opportunities that will be given to them—including the male partners available to them. Women are conditioned to see other women as a threat rather than a companion.

Compulsory heterosexuality presented itself in me as choosing male friends over female ones to avoid “female drama” (an expectation created by the patriarchy to preemptively divide women, and reinforced by the media through the “mean girls” trope). Looking back at my high school days, I think I behaved that way because I was insecure about my own femininity. I was worried I wasn’t desirable enough when compared to other girls, so my solution was to avoid the competition altogether rather than question why I felt so threatened by other women.

PHOTOGRAPHED BY IRKA PEREZ

A second reason why I only surrounded myself with boys was because I wanted to be one of them. I wanted to approximate the power they had as men in our patriarchal society.

I began meditating on the power of masculinity and femininity after reading Gertrude Stein last semester. She was a prolific writer in the early 20th Century, and as a queer icon, there are often discussions surrounding her identity as a butch lesbian. I couldn’t help wonder whether Stein presented as masculine to approximate and relate to the other masculine geniuses of her time (Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Picasso, Dalí). Is genius perceived as masculine in our society (and therefore only men can achieve the status of genius)? Author Sheila Heti wrote about this topic in her novel How Should A Person Be? by asking herself what does female genius look like? She questioned whether female geniuses can be femenine, or is genius a category unfairly reserved for men? To me it seems as if the concept of intellect is so interwoven with a masculine identity that genius women feel compelled to associate with men to feel that genius acknowledged. Therefore, if genius is masculinized, then it is necessary for women to sever ties with their femininity to have their genius respected.

But I disagree. I do think that genius can be feminine. The solution to the multilayered issue at hand is dismantling heteronormativity.

Women can be genius, and they can be uniquely feminine in their geniusness if they were allowed to use their erotic power to guide their life. By “erotic power” I mean the concept presented by Audre Lorde in her book Uses of the Erotic as an energy of deep fullfillment that fuels a life’s purpose. If women were allowed and encouraged to guide their lives through the use of self-actualizing goals, rather than the pursuit of status through a male partner, then women would live more fulfilling lives. They would have a deeper impact on their communities as creators, not just birth givers. These women would be working with their complex humanity to achieve purpose rather than subjecting themselves to the two-dimensional portrayal of the sex-crazed female stereotype.

Once I decentered my narrative around my love life, I was able to focus more on myself and how I could love myself. I no longer desperately needed others to love me. Once I stopped chasing for the approval and affection of every boy I met, I was given the space to relate to other women, rather than seeing them as the enemy. I no longer had an unconscious fear of not being masculine enough to receive male praise (I did not want to be seen as part of the “girls club”), mixed in with the fear of not being femenine enough to seduce and hold a male partner.

So I often find myself thinking about that picnic and how it changed my outlook on life. Since then, I tread with less fear for myself.

I am confident. I am welcoming.

Why don’t I have an all male group anymore? I think to myself.

“Because I don’t need it,” I wish I had said. YM living | 39

A

t first, Keaton Belle’s TikTok seems innocuous as she unzips a Female-focused self-defense brands with names like “Defense pink Dior purse under the heading “whats in ur bag.” Then Divas” and “Style Me Tactical” sell weapons in shades of pink, catshe reveals the arsenal inside—pepper spray, a set of throwing shaped keychains that double as two-fingered brass knuckles, and knives, brass knuckles, a switchblade, and a pocket axe. In the video’s blades hidden in pieces of jewelry. TigerLady specializes in a discreet, caption, the 21-year-old proclaims, “I keep all this on me at all timez.” handheld set of retractable “claws” that are specifically designed to For women, especially those who live in cities, carrying some collect an attacker’s DNA. form of protection is all but required. Videos like Belle’s illustrate an Defense Divas’ mission statement is to “educate and empower increasingly mainstream trend: women stepping up their self-defense women to embrace their personal power, to be aware of their surgame from the ubiquitous pepper-spray keychain to more heavy-duty roundings, and protect themselves from violent crimes and domestic weaponry. abuse.” This is certainly a noble goal, but even as viral self-defense tips Erika Hernandez*, a 19-year-old student from Los Angeles, rarely and tools become more widespread, none of these solutions address leaves home without her hatchet and knives loaded into her backpack. the underlying problem: even when women adhere to “guidelines,” They were gifts from family members who knew they’d be up Hernanthey are still targeted. dez’s alley.

Worldwide, one in three women have experienced sexual or phys“I’d originally asked for a sword—specifically a katana. I love anyical violence. A recent survey from Runner’s World found that 84 percent thing that can help me protect myself and others. They look cool and of women have experienced some form of harassment while running just make me feel safe—it’s a comfort for me,” she explains. that made them feel unsafe. Even in the face of these sobering statisValerie Simmons* began carrying a stun gun her first year of coltics, the burden of preventing attacks is placed on women rather than lege. Her father, who shoots recreationally, bought it at a gun show and perpetrators. put it in her Christmas stocking.

In most states, this strain is worsened by legal “So, it’s hardcore, it’s not like those little plasrestrictions. Until 2019, it was illegal to possess a tic stun guns you can get at a gas station. When stun gun or taser in Massachusetts. Now, it’s legal “I could see him I turn it on, it sounds like a BB gun. I think the only with a license to carry, the same as you would pacing outside the noise alone would scare someone off,” she says. get if you wanted to register a firearm. window.

But I was Simmons, a 22-year-old college student livSimmons’ stun gun isn’t licensed—she wasn’t like, if he came in, ing in the Boston area, would often carry the stun aware of the requirement until recently, and says there’s no way he gun with her when she knew she would be walkthe cost of getting a license and enrolling in safety could fight me if I ing at night. courses has kept her from going legit. had this.”

“I’ve never actually used it on someone, but “The majority of the people who are carrying I’ve had my hands on it,” Simmons says. these are women, so while I think a safety course She was subletting from a friend in Allston and a background check is reasonable, it shouldn’t when a man moved into the basement level of be necessary to have to pay $300 and sit through a the building. He would peek through her curtains, bang on her door bunch of expensive safety courses just to shock someone. I also think screaming late at night, and was rumored to have broken into the they should be moved to a different class than guns, because I am not apartment across from hers. One night, he stood outside her window the same as someone who’s trying to acquire a handgun. I just want to and began shouting profanities and threats. feel safe,” Simmons says.

“I was up all night with my stun gun in one hand and a knife in In Massachusetts, you have the right to defend yourself if you the other, sitting straight up in bed,” Simmons recalls. “I could see him are attacked or believe your physical safety is in immediate danger, but pacing outside the window. But I was like, if he came in, there’s no way only after taking “reasonable steps” to avoid physical contact. There’s he could fight me if I had this. It straight-up shoots electricity, and it’s also a laundry list of weapons that are considered dangerous and are technically a firearm.” illegal to carry, which includes brass knuckles and most knives.

Simmons’ weapon of choice looks like a hot pink flashlight, with Still, these weapons aren’t technically illegal to sell and buy, so spikes at the top where the electrical current runs. The recent uptick much of their legality is a matter of circumstance. And, while the typiin brands specializing in self-defense tools marketed towards women is cal contents of Hernandez’s bag may not be entirely above-board, she indicative of a larger trend of women gravitating toward more handsknows how to use her weapons safely and effectively. on methods of self-defense.

“I fully encourage women to protect themselves and have those “I think people who are going after women are probably going safety measures available to them,” Hernandez says. “The world is so to anticipate them having pepper spray at this point,” Simmons says. dangerous, and you shouldn’t care about how people are going to per“I’m also tiny, and if there’s a big guy, there are certain things that just ceive you or if they’ll think you’re being overdramatic. At the end of aren’t really going to do anything. I just felt like I needed something the day, if something does happen, you’re going to be thankful you they wouldn’t expect.” have that protection and the ability to fight back.” YM *Names have been changed to protect privacy.

40 | living

What’s In My Bag? A stun gun and an axe WRITTEN BY AMANDA HAMPTON ART BY MADELYN MULREANEY

living | 41

Be Not Afraid Part 1 DIRECTED BY TALIA SMITH PHOTOGRAPHED BY TALIA SMITH MODELED BY ZOEY SCHORSCH STYLED BY ZOEY SCHORSCH MAKEUP BY ZOEY SCHORSCH MAKEUP ASSISTANT OLIVIA MILLER

42 | yourmag

yourmag | 43

44 | yourmag

yourmag | 45

46 | yourmag

yourmag | 47

48 | yourmag

yourmag | 49

50 | arts & entertainment

DELICIOUSLY THRILLING OR UNBEARABLY PRETENTIOUS? WRITTEN BY KATHLEEN NOLAN

PHOTOGRAPHY BY LETAO CHEN

dmiring gothic architecture in the rain, studying Latin from dusty textbooks, slinking down a marble staircase in an oversized blazer— this is dark academia. The romanticization of academic life has emerged on social media as not just a popular aesthetic, but an entire subculture. TikTokers put on neutral-toned silk button downs and tweed slacks, and then recommend books about tortured academics, brooding college students, and prestigious boarding schools.

Of all the dark academia staples, The Secret History by Donna Tartt is by far the most popular. Intrigued by the premise of a mysterious group of classics students at a quaint liberal arts college, I read it… and I couldn’t stand it. The book begins with a murder— super captivating. But the subsequent 500 pages are about rich, white students drinking at their country homes and wondering how much criminal activity they can get away with before facing any repercussions. This was a new level of pretentiousness that I simply could not enjoy. What do people like about this? was my initial reaction. I wanted to know how dark academia books drew people in and kept them reading within the subgenre.

Barnes & Noble bookseller Kailey Steward noted that fans of thrillers and fantasy gravitate toward dark academia because they often have common themes of mystery, mortality, and morality (or lack thereof). Social media, especially TikTok, has brought dark academia to the forefront of the publishing industry. “They watch buyer trends, and buy everything within that,” Steward explained. Dark academia books that were written two or three years ago are just now being released by publishers because the genre is growing so rapidly.

According to Steward, dark academia has two requirements: “It has to be academic in some way— it usually takes place in a school.

And there has to be a mystery.”

What separates dark academia from other thriller novels are the philosophical and ethical conflicts at play. ​​“When people think of thrillers, they think Patterson and Grisham and the really gritty ones,” she said, “This is more subtle.” Rather than shocking the reader with violence or gore, dark academia plays mind tricks, making you question your own morals as well as the characters’.

Dark academia has been criticized for centering wealthy, white

individuals— characters and authors alike. Many dark academia books take place at expensive, elite institutions, so characters are able to evade consequences through their money or status. Olivia Lusk, a publishing student who has worked for several different publishers, believes the freedom from consequence is often what intrigues people about these stories. Characters pulling off a heist and getting away with it is exciting, but the whitewashed nature of academia gets in the way of telling diverse, inclusive stories.

“Academia has been so white-centered for so long that a lot of the aesthetic is attached to that,” Lusk said.

“There is a push for diversity, and people are definitely writing those stories,” Steward noted. “But I don’t think we’re seeing it as much as we could be because people are still buying the same books that are centered around the same narrative.”

However, the growth of dark academia has been a catalyst for more diversity within the genre. Ace of Spades by Faridah ÀbíkéÍyímídé, released in June, 2021, is about two students at a private academy whose darkest secrets are anonymously revealed to the whole school. Àbíké-Íyímídé, frustrated with the lack of Black representation in literature, wrote an eerie thriller centered around Black and LGBTQ+ characters. As the popularity of dark academia grows, a wider range of authors are claiming their well-deserved seats at the table.

BookTuber Nasya Acosta Smith believes that increasingly diverse representation also allows fans to reimagine dark academia, saying, “The pursuit of education can be renting a book for free from your library or listening to a podcast— things for people outside of school or people who don’t have this incredibly privileged background.”

“People who like darker themes and people who like learning don’t have to look a certain way. Anybody can partake,” she said.

Reinventing dark academia is not about replacing the classics, but about adding more diverse voices and stories to the conversation.

With gloomier weather and spooky season right around the corner, light some candles and write sad poetry. Try dark academia out for yourself. But when you’re browsing the dark academia display at the bookstore, remember to actively diversify your reading. Don’t just grab the book you’ve seen on TikTok a hundred times— you might find something even better. YM

A

arts & entertainment | 51

52 | arts & entertainment

MODERN FAMILY made our parents homophobic WRITTEN BY TALIA SMITH

ART BY KATE RISPOLI

nter a familiar scene. You, an unsuspecting victim to violent embarrassment, are trying to watch a show or movie with your parents. Maybe you didn’t google the plot line pre-screening, maybe you didn’t pick up on the sexual tension between characters, or maybe you thought you could a-line it to the bathroom before it all unfolds. But the lights dim down, dialogue pauses, and in what feels like a rush of unstoppable force-- it’s there. Sex scene.

There’s panting, there’s sweat, and subtitles like “*with passion*” and “*aggressively grunts*” flash by as you hide behind a pillow, avoiding eye contact with the woman you came out of 20-some years ago. Dad fumbles for the remote. Everyone grows violently quiet. For the most part, you’re all waiting for the moment to pass.

Just as I, like many, couldn’t have fathomed a more upsetting situation, the Modern Family theme song begins to blare through the speakers. I find myself wishing the sex scene would start playing again, because it would be astronomically better than what’s to come— enter my least favorite on-screen gay couple ever, Cam and Mitchell.

One simple google search of this white, cisgender male duo will suffice in proving how worshiped the pair has been throughout the show’s eleven-year run. Words like “groundbreaking” and “inclusive” are thrown around like confetti, each outlet offering their take on why CaMitchell’s (the ugliest ship name I’ve ever seen) on-set love was epic. I’d sit through conversation with straight family members and friends and they’d seem to be a source of common ground to any queer relationship that was brought up— my own included.

Was this the couple that queer people were being compared to?

Were we being held to the golden standard that Cam and Mitchell’s on-screen relationship was creating? If so, I couldn’t help but think about how limiting it felt— this performative “woke” take on the nuclear family that had been given to the world wrapped in a bow.

They were a “normal,” easy-to-swallow, lovable, and very quotable gay couple written for straight people to soak up and enjoy.

Throughout the series, despite comedy-ridden obstacles and story arcs, they successfully: get married, adopt a daughter from Vietnam, adopt a sonBY from the sameHAMPTON adoption agency, live in a huWRITTEN AMANDA

mongous suburban home, and end up moving to Missouri. Throw in a golden retriever, and they’re the archetypal American family unit, but make it— only a very slightly and kind of drowned, grayscale version— gay.

Feminist researcher Susan Mayhew explains that the depiction of a gay couple doing typically heteronormative things (i.e. marrying, having children, and living a suburban life) inherently “upholds and sustains them while promising the possibility of a demobilized gay constituency and a privatized, depoliticized gay culture.” This is precisely my issue with Cam and Mitchell, and sets the scene for the hill I will most likely die on.

I’d be remiss not to acknowledge that, yes, an on-screen gay couple being featured on a daytime ABC sitcom did a lot for representation and normalization of queer couples and families in America at it’s 2009 premier. I’ll also add that Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet play loveable characters. Despite their validity as an onscreen queer couple, there is simply nothing groundbreaking about this relationship that makes it worthy of the amount of received praise and recognition. Start with the fact that only one of them (Ferguson) is actually queer in real life.

This is not to say that if you like Cam and Mitchell’s on screen relationship, you’re homohphobic. I’m mainly concerned about the fact that this type— a still very valid, and beautiful but very heteronormative type— of gay relationships is what’s being seen as “good” to straight-identifying viewers. Cam and Mitchell were laying a clear path for gays like them who wanted to be part of their own new “modern family.” The danger in this is that it creates an unsaid expectation that alienates real queer couples who don’t fit the domestic, “good” queer mold.

All this in conjunction with the fact that they seem like an otherwise pretty boring pair, I feel safe in voicing how adamantly I feel that this is simply not peak pinnacle of capturing a queer relationship today. Although a stepping stone for it’s time, everything about this couple is inherently performative. But, they’ll live on to be someone’s favorite sidedish micro-dose of queer culture for as long as Modern Family is streamable. YM

E

ART BY MADELYN MULREANEY

arts & entertainment | 53

so you want to talk about

sex (education) WRITTEN BY LAUREN SMITH

54 | arts & entertainment

ART BY FRANCESCA POLISTINA

F

or me, sex education consisted of two female science teachers and a classroom full of seventh grade girls. Predictably, the boys were down the hall with two male science teachers. The extent of it for us girls was being shown a presentation with pictures of different STDs. I remember being scarred by a picture of crabs and being told I would get it if I had sex. I didn’t even know women could masturbate until I watched the first season of Sex Education when I was 16.

Written by Laurie Nunn, Sex Education touches on many sensitive topics that could easily be done superficially. The show is able to represent many different identities without “tokenizing” or creating one version of what a non-binary person is or what an asexual woman looks like, as many shows have done in the past.

Emerson professor of literary and cultural studies Kate Perillo discussed the show’s versatility, conveying to its audience “that we can’t just take on those relationships as the message, as emblematic” of adult relationships, queer sex, or what our vagina looks like. Talking about Adam Groff’s character, Perillo attributed his genuine character growth to showing “the depth of his character, without letting him off the hook.”

When asked about the show’s genre being marked as comedy, Brooke Harrison ‘25 says the casual nature of the show is what makes it so powerful. It helps not to stigmatize or alienate the LGBTQIA+ community, and it reminds viewers that we are all

just “ordinary people.”

Perillo also commented on how the relatableness of the show is built upon the funny elements: “Sex is funny; have you ever seen a human body!”

Nunn’s choice to make the show lighthearted was incredibly smart because it allowed her to add to ongoing conversations and help aid change happening in the world.

Perillo discussed the influence Gen Z has had on destigmatizing sex: “You are all saying things none of us would have ever said 10, 15 years ago.” While the show alone is not responsible for making these conversations happen, it contributes to growing discourse. Additionally, the show doesn’t over-glorify sex (as Hollywood tends to do) and gives real consequences to some of the characters’ actions. The show “reflects” the changes our generation has made and is able to amplify them on a much bigger scale.

What I think Sex Education has done so well is showing people that it is okay to take up space. It’s granted people permission to be who they are and told them that there is a place in this world for them.

They are welcome, they are valid, and they are heard—it’s more than Aimee giving out vulva cupcakes or Otis exchanging sex advice for money. Sex Education destigmatizes sex and helps grow communities of acceptance, love, and honesty our world desperately needs. It shows people everywhere that at the end of the day, we are all just trying to find love, or making it. YM arts & entertainment | 55

The downfall of the COMEBACK KID

WRITTEN BY KATE RISPOLI ART BY JAMES SULLIVAN

WRITTEN BY LAUREN SMITH

56 | arts & entertainment

ART BY FRANCESCA POLISTINA

E

xcuse me. He is out of rehab. He is divorced. He has a baby on the way. But he’s certainly not new in town.

Comedian John Mulaney is no stranger to the spotlight following the release of his 2018 Netflix special Kid Gorgeous, which earned him a horde of new (mostly Gen Z) fans. They loved his over-the-top stage presence, his quirky storytelling, and notably, his devotion to his wife.

It was hard to believe at the peak of his popularity anything could throw him off his rhythm—until the public was bombarded by an onslaught of news vis-à-vis his personal life. In short: he entered rehab for addiction, divorced his wife Annamarie Tendler, started dating actress Olivia Munn, and has a baby on the way.

Even though these experiences are undoubtedly personal to Mulaney, his highly-involved fanbase has run wild with strong opinions on literally everything (apparently: Annamarie is an enabler. Olivia is a homewrecker.

John is a traitor). In the midst of these opinions, Mulaney has become a rather controversial figure.

Emerson student Elizabeth Albahary (‘24) is invested in this controversy.

Albahary has been an avid fan of Mulaney’s for years, attending his recent show From Scratch this past August.

She said while Mulaney’s stage presence seemed unchanged (notable in the way that he swung the microphone cord on stage like a jump rope), the content was unlike his past work. It was raw, emotional, and as comedic as it was heartfelt. While Albahary enjoyed the show, the difference was undeniable.

“He wasn’t himself,” Albahary said.

But who is John?

That question is probably answerable by Mulaney himself, or the people closest to him—not necessarily the teenagers who idolize him.

At the end of the day, the buzz surrounding Mulaney’s controversies doesn’t stem from his recent behavior. Instead, the intense emotional investment of his fans is the product of the parasocial relationship developed between the two parties. Parasocial relationships are a step beyond being a casual fan, and a step beyond idolization: it is viewing the relationship as an equal one, when in reality, it is starkly one-sided.

These relationships are formed generally between fans and celebrities,

in which the fans see their idols as friends.

When Mulaney steps onto the stage, his fans walk away as though they just had a great one-on-one chat with their dear friend John. Too many fans see the stories that he tells as a glimpse into his deepest thoughts, and they take those stories as gospel. Because he joked about not wanting kids in his 2012 special New in Town, Olivia Munn’s recent pregnancy is seen as a betrayal. His divorce is viewed in the same light: if Mulaney told his fans he loved his wife while on stage, how could he divorce her?

The parasocial relationship between Mulaney and his fans has really blinded many from comprehending a simple truth: they do not know him. They know a character, much like an actor is not the same person on-screen and in real life, no matter how startling the similarities are. The line needs to be drawn somewhere, and with Mulaney’s fans, it’s blurry at best.

“Know that public figures are always performing,” says Emerson publishing professor Alexander Danner, “they’re not there to be your friend. They’re at work, and you’re seeing their work face.”

Mulaney is at work and his job is simple: make people laugh. This requires hyperbole, taking little things from his life and turning them into over-the-top stories.

Some of it is true, some of it is fake, and some is in the middle.

His comedy has to come from extremes, explains Emerson student Fiona Murphy (‘24): “You play up parts of your personality. He’s like ‘I am a person who loves my wife!’ He’s not gonna be like ‘oh, we have issues sometimes’.”

Mulaney may share the same experience as his on-stage persona, but everything he says is twisted into something comedic. The parasocial relationship prevented fans from accepting that his jokes were just jokes, just part of his show. Some went as far as to minimize his cocaine use because he played it off as a joke on stage, leading many to be shocked by his stint in rehab.

Because of this parasocial relationship, fans could not draw the line between his two halves, and now that the line has become distinct, it appears Mulaney has fallen from grace.

In reality, fans have just realized that no one is as perfect as they are on stage. YM

IT WAS RAW, EMOTIONAL, AND AS COMEDIC AS IT WAS HEARTFELT. WHILE ALBAHARY ENJOYED THE SHOW, THE DIFFERENCE WAS UNDENIABLE.

arts & entertainment | 57

Y.MP3

SONGS THAT GO

BUMP IN THE NIGHT TEAR YOU APART—SHE WANTS REVENGE SMILE—WOLF ALICE OBLIVION—GRIMES OXYTOCIN—BILLIE EILISH VOODOO?—L’IMPÉRATRICE MY NAME IS DARK (ART MIX)—GRIMES L’ACCIDENT—JUNIORE DELUSION—REZZ TOPDOWN—CHANNEL TRES BUNNY IS A RIDER—CAROLINE POLACHEK MOUNT EVEREST—LABRINTH THRILLER—MICHAEL JACKSON <DEMONS>—KIM PETRAS WHAT DO THEY KNOW?—MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE NIGHT CRAWLING—MILEY CYRUS FT. BILLY IDOL TIA TAMERA—DOJA CAT FT. RICO NASTY 53.49—CHILDISH GAMBINO

58 | yourmag

NIGHTMARE—HALSEY MONTERO (CALL ME BY YOUR NAME)—LIL NAS X TIPSY—CHLOE X HALLE OHFR?—RICO NASTY GOOD ONES—CHARLI XCX 911 (CHARLI XCX & A.G. COOK REMIX)—LADY GAGA THRILLER / HEADS WILL ROLL—GLEE CAST STREETS—DOJA CAT BODY MOVE—DIZZY FAE IPHONE—RICO NASTY SAD GIRLZ LUV MONEY REMIX (FT. MOLIY AND KALI UCHIS)—AMAARAE RAGE—RICO NASTY HEARTBEAT—CHILDISH GAMBINO EVERYTHING IS EMBARRASSING (TWIN SHADOW REMIX)—SKY FERREIRA DISTURBIA—RIHANNA

yourmag | 59

YM ADVISES:

SCARIEST

RED FLAGS

“As the self-proclaimed queen of missing and/or straight up ignoring warning signs, it’s safe to say that the biggest and scariest red flag is probably if there isn’t one. You’re most likely just missing it.

Love is blind!” — Talia Smith, Managing Editor

“My alarm bells go off when people are very vocal about how much they relate to Bojack Horseman and/or Rick Sanchez (of Bojack Horseman and Rick and Morty). I adore those shows and those characters, but bragging about identifying with cartoon men who are written to be raging narcissists is not cute or quirky.” — Amanda Hampton, Editor-in-Chief

“They think they’re superior for liking classic male manipulator music and act shocked that you know the most basic artists ever—yes, I’ve heard of Tame Impala and so have the 14 million other monthly Spotify listeners.” — Jess Ferguson, Head Copy Chief

“Besides the quintessential Tinder profile pic with a dead animal, a big red flag for me is when someone treats you differently based on the people you’re around. Like, if a guy totally adopts a new personality and attitude around his friends, then I don’t really want to be involved with him. If I wanted to date Danny Zuko, I would just rewatch Grease.” — Isa Luzarraga, Assistant Head Designer

60 | yourmag

“In my opinion, the scariest red flag is when a guy posts thirst traps. Whether it’s shirtless photos plastered all over IG or cringey TikToks attempting to seduce the camera, either way it gives me the heebie jeebies.” — Ashley Ferrer, Assistant Living Editor

“If he likes to hear himself talk, I’d say bye right then. Odds are if he keeps talking, he’s not listening to you. Sacrificing your voice so he can have the last word isn’t worth your time, darling. You are too important to have to put up with that.”

— Lauren Surbey, Assistant Web Editor

“I once dated a guy that was so possessive he was jealous I spent time with my mom. My MOM. I don’t know why I didn’t drop him right then and there, but I’d like to let the record show that I did eventually leave him over this…among many other things.

Don’t be like me and let this happen; notice the red flag(s) and run immediately.” — Hailey Kroll, Assistant Head Designer

“When he brings up past stories of being a ‘good person’ in the middle of talking about something completely unrelated.

I asked about your major, and now you want to tell me you walk around and hand out $100 bills to people you think need it. What are you trying to prove? If I thought you were a good person before, I definitely think it’s performative now.

Byeeeee.” — MaryCatherine Neal, Living Editor

“I tend to acknowledge red flags immediately and pretend they don’t exist until an actual conflict arises—which is my own red flag. One of the scariest red flags I’ve encountered is the pre-mature “I love you,” said to me two weeks into dating or during sex. I know not to believe it, but boy, is it telling about how they don’t feel about me. I also notice how men I date speak about other women or even praise me for ‘not being like other girls.’ Other girls are cool, too! And if he won’t get vaxxed…time to dip.” — Olivia Cigliano, Style Editor

yourmag | 61

62 | yourmag

ARTIST STATEMENT

DIFFERENT BUGS

a sabrina harris company

Where does the name Different Bugs come from?

It’s actually a funny story behind the origin of Different Bugs. During my sophomore year of college, I rediscovered The Beatles for the first time after almost exclusively listening to them with my dad. I only knew the really popular songs as a kid, but I fell deep down The Beatles rabbit hole during that year in college. I was absolutely obsessed with their music, and I eventually stumbled upon an official album that contained alternate versions of some of my all time favorite Beatles songs (specifically, “Your Mother Should Know”). I made an entire playlist of these alternate versions of Beatles songs and named the playlist “Different Bugs.”

During the summer of 2019, when I was living in Los Angeles for a few months for an internship, I went to the craft store to make some of my own basic chain jewelry for fun since it was super trendy at the time. After a few days of posting some of my creations to my personal Instagram, a few friends asked if I was selling my necklaces.

I thought it would be a good idea to make a dedicated account specifically to showcase and sell my necklaces, and I liked the way Different Bugs sounded and looked. To my surprise, the username wasn’t taken despite the handle being two of the most common words ever. I kind of decided to stick with it since the name was too good to give up, and now the name has morphed itself to fit my brand as it is today. To this day, I’m still pretty shocked that Different Bugs (the name) isn’t being used by anyone or anything else, but it is so cool to see how the name that once held a completely different meaning to me has blossomed into something that perfectly describes the energy of my pieces.

What or who inspires you?

I’ve always been an artist since I can remember, but I’ve also always been an actor. I had a hard time with making visual art like paintings or drawings because I am, unfortunately, not artistically inclined in those disciplines.

Growing up, I was so frustrated that I couldn’t express myself through that medium because I needed an outlet for my cluttered brain. A large part of this frustration with not being good at drawing is because I have synesthesia, which is the ability to sense colors and patterns with literally everything that exists (and also doesn’t exist). It’s not easy to describe, but I basically see and feel colors and patterns all around me all the time. Having synesthesia, with no ability to utilize it for my art, was really annoying up until I discovered that I can translate what I see through beads and charms. I figured out that making jewelry fulfilled this childhood dream of being a visual artist, and ever since I started Different Bugs I have been living in an artist’s playground and experimenting with anything and everything I can get my hands on. So the question of what inspires me warrants the most vague answer: literally everything. It’s such a gift to be able to translate everything in this world into something tangible, and a lot of the time I will take emotions or states of mind and turn it into something people can see, feel, touch and experience in real time.

Lately, I’ve been feeling so incredibly inspired by anime because, well, I love anime, and I tend to only make pieces when I am feeling compelled or inspired by a strong urge to express something in my mind. The character designs in anime are also so detailed and specific, and being such a detailed oriented person, I find so much joy in being able to carefully dissect a character and their design and then rearrange it into something physical. I have so many beads and charms to choose from, so I like to spend hours picking out the perfect materials to properly convey the images I see in my mind.

yourmag | 63

What do you want people to get out of your work?

Above everything else, I want others to find their own meaning and significance in my pieces. I see myself as a translator of ideas and the abstract, and creating pieces is the manifestation of something inaccessible to most people. My goal for myself is to be able to make pieces that walk the line between what is seen and unseen, and I do this by layering meaning and intention with the techniques I have in my toolbox. Of course I get excited when other people can see the vision of my own intentions, but I also find it important to let others interpret their own story in my art. I never want to confine my pieces to one definition only, but that doesn’t prevent me from being as detailed and specific as I am. In fact, the more thought I put behind a piece, the more there is for someone else to take away from it. It’s like a well-written song, where every line can be dissected and analyzed by thousands of people and everyone can have their own interpretation of the meaning. I want people to be able to appreciate and cherish the details and nuances of my work without trying to force any one specific and “right” answer. There is no right answer in art!

What are some of your favorite pieces you’ve created?

This is probably the most difficult question to answer because I only create pieces I love. I will never sell something I am not proud of and this principle of mine makes it difficult to pick out my favorite pieces.

I define my favorite pieces as the ones that never leave my mind and ones that I mourn. I usually don’t keep anything for myself, so when I find myself thinking about a necklace from the past, I like to think that I am mourning the loss of a lover in a way. It’s a bit morbid, but I put so much of myself into all of my pieces that it makes it impossible to separate myself from my work, which isn’t a bad thing at all.

If I had to name a favorite, I would have to say my Soul Eater inspired “Franken Stein” necklace because of how subtle some of the details are. I am also just so obsessed with how the piece drapes around the neck so messily and chaotically, and I’m having a really hard time letting go of it. I’m actually planning on making my own version of this necklace to keep for myself which I never do, but I haven’t felt so strongly about a piece in almost a year. Another piece that is one of my favorites is the “Chemtrails and Crop Circles” necklace because it is my mom’s favorite. She printed the image of the necklace on some t-shirts and tote bags for herself and she even has a huge blown up poster of the necklace. I think it’s really sweet how much my mom supports me and what I do, and it warms my heart knowing that she has so much love for that one necklace.

64 | yourmag

yourmag | 65

66 | yourmag

Anything else you want to elaborate on for people to know about your art and what inspires you?

I think something I find difficult is getting people to understand that, although I run a small business and have obligations to do business things so I don’t get interrogated by the IRS, I’m just a person discovering the world in my mind and sharing it with the world. I wish I didn’t have to hold the label of a small business owner because I feel that it takes away from why I am doing this in the first place. In short, I am an artist, and recently discovered that this once unusable superpower of synesthesia (which I have had for all 22 years of my life) can finally be set free and released into the world. I can finally express how I see the world through my eyes, and it is so liberating to be able to share it with thousands of people. I will never be able to express how lucky and grateful I am that people like my work enough to give me a follow or buy one of my pieces. I never really fit into any group growing up and even in college, and being so alone in this world has been isolating, but if I can turn all of those things into works of art to be shared and appreciated by so many people, then I would do anything to keep providing for all of those people who can see all of the emotion and passion I put into my work. I think of my jewelry as being threaded with strands of myself, and I sacrifice myself in ways for the pure existence of my jewelry. I spend hours sitting at my desk tearing myself apart (metaphorically) in the same way that I would tear apart my room trying to find the perfect outfit, or trying to find my Nintendo DS from childhood because I just need to escape and be a kid again, or making a mess out of the kitchen after getting too wine drunk and sobbing on the kitchen floor because that’s just what I needed to let something out. There’s always so much happening in my brain, always, and it never stops. Not even when I sleep. Making jewelry is a way for me to control the chaos and let go of things that plague such a sacred space that is my mind.

yourmag | 67