a.k.a.
Peek a Boo
long exposure
volume 1
April 12, 2020
After years, holy cow, years without a photographic project I think I’ve finally comeback to develop a new one. Peek a boo is my last attempt to deal with emotional distress, loss, depression, loneliness, and inner darkness. I really don’t know how or why I stopped creating photographs instead of only capturing images, after the events (what a cold word for the loss of half of your soul) of the last year I’ve been feeling so damn empty that I I’m not sure if there’s something inside me to share.
Also I don’t have anyone with a strong or weak relationship of trust who would help me being a model. That is another frustration but also a reminder.
As in many facets of life: I’m alone, at least for the most of time. And being alone is a chalI’m in the Ambaló Reservation, at the house lenge but also is full of opportunities. So, after of a friend and his family. We are as most of a couple of weeks thinking about it I decided to the world, under quarantine. The frustration of answer the call of a window. don’t have somebody who can relate with my feelings is common place, but the distance from It is interesting how light and darkness nurture home makes it a bit harder. photographers, off course there are a lot of adjacent and underlying factors. But from a material point of view light and darkness are the substrate that feed us. So, I’ve been looking all the nights this window in my room and being called to it as the song of a siren.
A couple of nights ago I started taking some photographs, continuing something I started in Bogotá. Peek a boo is a metaphor about what happens inside, but through the filter of an outside agent: The camera. Is personal, is raw (well someone was playing with my camera and the images are in JPG, since now they would be in RAW, lazy pun intended). The only edition of the images is done in Lightroom.
T
he photographs are a mixture of testing lights and locations, of exposure times and tonning, an exploration without a clear path beyond the emotion and feelings that sometimes everwhelm me.
T
he stand alone words (or in pairs) included along this e-book aren’t random, are directly related to my emotions and thought process across this journey.
But their position in particular pages isn’t directly related to the images before or after the words. It’s part of the non linear way how this project has evolved.
Bogotá
1 The first stage is born from the idea of voyeurism but centered on me. A metaphor about how to try to understand your own mind, your feelings, your psyche, is like trying to take a peek through a half-open door, a curtain, or a peeping hole. And the “boo”? well sometimes what you find scares you, makes you smile, or surprises you. Hence the name, it’s a contrast between the name of the children’s game and the risks of “peek” as an adult, especially inside yourself.
Ambaló
2 April 30, 2020 I’m a middle age man, a bit fat, with white hairs and small wrinkles. I’m part of the autistic spectrum and bipolar. All of those are some of the characteristics of me as a human being but in any way they define me, are simple labels. Small parts of a far more complex whole. A whole that sometimes feels is fading or longing for fade into oblivion. Continuing with some captures trying to make sense of the overwhelming sadness and loneliness. Some images are more raw than others, some are good images other may count as sketches.
P
rops and settings.
There’s not much thinking behind the few props, to be honest the effect of certain light conditions on objects and spaces are the factor for be included as part of this project.
Shame Guilt
Angst Grief
Digital Manipulations
SGM ilvino
onzález
orales
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