Yours issue 162

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Wonder

WOMEN

By Ruth Addicott hen Helen Durrant first went to Uganda as a student in 1971, she didn’t expect it to have such a huge impact. “As soon as we left the airport, I remember seeing children with little or no clothing and swollen bellies due to malnutrition,” she says. It was the same year that brutal dictator, Idi Amin, staged a military coup and thousands of Ugandans were killed. Helen, who was based at the university in Kampala, couldn’t leave the campus for a month. “It was very frightening, none of us had experienced anything like that before,” she says. “You could even get arrested for the length of your skirt. The Ugandans looked after us well but we were very frightened. The army came into the university and took many students away.” Forty years on Helen is still as committed as ever to fighting poverty. Through her Fairtrade shop in Barnstaple, Devon, she’s helping people in developing countries all over the world. Helen opened the shop, Fair’s Fair, nine years ago and works full time with 16 volunteers. Her

PICS: JIM WILEMAN/UNP

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Helen in the 1980s with daughter Emma, who has inherited her passion to beat poverty

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‘My little shop of hope’ How Helen Durrant is inspiring her whole community to help fight poverty in some of the world’s poorest nations charity work has inspired the whole community, who regularly queue up for tea, coffee, chocolate and crafts. But back to the early days of Helen’s passion to help others. She was 22, and had never left England before, when she embarked on the Ugandan trip to do a post-graduate teaching diploma. She was completely unprepared for what she encountered, but it inspired her to take more action. Three years later, with her husband Roger, she moved to Kenya where she got a job in a village school. It was there, living amongst the local community, she felt compelled to try and make a difference. The school had no door or windows, mud walls and a dirt floor. Helen had 60 students, six pencils and one blackboard. “It was quite overwhelming at first, thinking how do you go about teaching.” she says.

‘We’re only a very small shop but we feel we’re part of something dynamic that is really making a difference!’ Realising any sort of education would help their future prospects, Helen taught the pupils basic skills and showed the girls how to sew, even though none of them had ever used a pair of scissors before. “I had 60 in the class and there wouldn’t be a murmur,” she says. “Education was such a privilege, they knew their families were depending


❙ real life ❙

DID YOU KNOW? The UK is one of the finding it difficult world’s leading Fairtrade to forget the world markets, with more products and they had left more awareness of Fairtrade than behind. Having anywhere else. Around 20 per lived in rented cent of roast and ground coffee, accommodation and 20 per cent of bananas before they went sold in the UK are now to Africa, they had Fairtrade. no furniture and even

would enable people to have clinics, clean water and help them to send their children to school.” Helen gave up teaching and opened Fair’s Fair in 2003, selling Fairtrade products, including food, clothes and jewellery. A lot of the products are recycled and made from raw materials that are easily and cheaply available. “We sell a lot of jewellery made by women who’ve got incredible skills in silver work and embroidery – skills they can do at home so they don’t have to move to big cities,” she says. Three years after opening, they took over the shop next door and Fair’s Fair doubled in size.Helen has been back to Kenya three times, taking her daughter, Emma, last year, who has also done volunteer work in Tanzania. They went to a slum in Nairobi to meet suppliers, including a group of 16 women who make handmade cards. “It has made a big difference to their lives,” says Helen. “They had food, they could afford to send their children to school and they had got their self esteem back because they were doing something worthwhile. We’re only a very small shop, but we feel we’re part of something dynamic and making a difference, it might only be a few people in the world, but if they can be helped, hopefully they will be able to help the people around them get on as well.” ✢ Fair’s Fair is at 17, Bear Street, Barnstaple. For more details about Traidcraft visit www.traidcraft.co.uk

buying a cushion seemed extravagant. “We’d look at the price of a chair and think that could pay school fees for a whole year, we can’t have that. The whole time we were thinking back,” says Helen. Fairtrade, which ensures people get a fair price for their goods, from food to jewellery and clothing, wasn’t a concept Helen came across until a few months later. She was looking through a friend’s catalogue and recognised a group of craftswomen from a village in Kenya. They were working with the charity Traidcraft which helps people fight poverty through trade. “I was amazed to see the same people I had visited in Kenya,” she says. “These people are entitled to their dignity and prepared to work hard for it. I thought if we can encourage them to use their skills and make sure they’re paid properly, it’s a good way to help them.” Helen ordered some coffee, ✢ For more then bought some tea, chocolate, details about handmade cards and crafts. Fairtrade Fortnight Soon friends and neighbours and how you can get were taking an interest involved call 0207 and asked if she could Helen’s shop is helping people like 4055942 or visit order things for them Margaret Wanjiku, who grows fairtrade.org.uk/ too. “We only had a Fairtrade honey to help feed her family on them to get a job and gofurther small cottage and there look after them in the were big boxes arriving future.” all the time,” she says. Helen loved her time in Kenya, “We’d always thought but after five years, she became about running a shop so pregnant and in 1980, she moved it seemed a natural thing back to Britain with her husband to do. People could see and baby daughter. what Fairtrade was about They both got jobs teaching in and liked the thought of Devon, but struggled to adjust, buying something that YOURS

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My mother

used to say…

In honour of Mothering Sunday, the stars share the motherly advice that made all the difference to them My mum has been such a strong influence on me; I think that’s why I wanted to be a mother so much. She taught me a lot about maternal instinct – to never give up and to put family first. Sally Lindsay

My mum still tells me to “treat everyone with love, kindness and respect” Lorraine Kelly ✢ When I was first asked to go on Strictly Come Dancing I said to my mum, “I’m a bit nervous about this,” and she said, “It’s quite easy Len. Be honest and be yourself.” And I think that is what you have to do and what you have to be. It is the most important thing. Len Goodman YOURS

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My mother used to say, “Do unto others as you would be done by.” Arlene Phillips


❙ star chat ❙

My mother used to say, “Be a firstrate version of yourself, not a second-rate version of someone else” Liza Minnelli ✢ My mother used to say, “Never let it be said that your mother bred a gibber.” I’d like to think that she wouldn’t have been disappointed on that count. Alan Titchmarsh YOURS READERS say… Ellen Salmon: My late mum said, “If you have a fire in the grate and a meal inside you, everything will be OK.” Sally Parsons: Mine said, “Youth is wasted on the young,” and “You can’t put an old head on young shoulders.” Sylvia Foster: My lovely mum always said, “If you can’t afford it don’t buy it,” and “No pudding if you leave anything on your dinner plate!”

✢ My mother always used to quote the poet Tagore: “Nothing lasts forever, brother – nothing lasts for long. Keep that in your heart and rejoice.” Joanna Lumley

EXTRA

FOR YOU

My Mother Used to Say by Valerie Bowe is available from all good book stores, RRP £6.99, published by Summersdale. We have five copies to give away. For your chance to win, send a postcard marked ‘Mothering Sunday Giveaway’ to Yours Magazine, Peterborough Business Park, Peterborough PE2 6EA.

If you do not wish to receive further information from Yours, write No Further Contact on your entry. PIC:

My mother always said, “In life you should always have a really good bed and a really good pair of shoes, because you are either in one or the other.” Gloria Hunniford

PICS: REX FEATURES; MASTERFILE;GETTY IMAGES; BARCROFT MEDIA; CORBIS

✢ The very best advice my mother,pictured right, ever gave me was the old Yorkshire expression, “Spit on yer ‘ands an’ tek a fresh ‘old.” She sent me these sage words in a letter when I was going through a bad time at the Royal Academy of Music in the Seventies and they have come back to help me at difficult times ever since. Together with the letter were a handful of stones, which fell on my feet as I opened the envelope. There was a further note explaining what they were. It read, “It sounded like you needed some Yorkshire grit – so I sent you some. Love Mum.” Lesley Garrett

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Marvellous

MACS

We can’t guarantee sunshine, but with our top rainy day musthaves you’ll stay warm and dry – whatever the weather By Fashion Editor, Michelle Nightingale

✢ On-trend colour for 2013 £69, 8-18, John Lewis

UP TO SIZE 32

✢ Orange Mac, £31, 6-20, Isme; trousers, £20, 10-20, Next; shoes, £25, 4-9, Next

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✢ Shower resistant! £45, 6-22, Marks & Spencer

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✢ Ruffles create an illusion of a bigger bust, £75, 12-32, Marisota


Style notes

✢ Classic style – available in beige too! £35, 12-24, Bonmarché

✢ Stylish investment, £99, 8-18, J by Jasper Conran at Debenhams

✢ Shorter style £69, 8-18, John Lewis

✢ Military style £70, 8-24, Littlewoods.com

✢ Effortless colour £45, 8-24, Littlewoods.com

✢ Show-stopping colour £45, 12-32, Marisota

✢ Perfect for petites £45, 6-18, Marks & Spencer

✢ Great for curvy shapes £39.50, 20-28, Marks & Spencer

PHOTOGRAPHY RUTH JENKINSON; STYLIST JO WINCH; HAIR AND MAKE-UP ANNA THOMPSON AND SARAH JANE GREEN

EASY TO WEAR

FASHION EDITOR’S CHOICE

✢ Our star buy! £16, 8-24, George at Asda

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Breakfast

Lunch

Our diet plan provides you with a variety of healthy recipes to help you lose weight and nourish your brain. The plan is based on 1200-1300 calories per day and & MIX should help you to lose between 1-2lbs per H TC

MA FROM COLUMNS

Dinner

Snacks

week. We’ve written your shopping list for you too (see page 61), to keep things simple. We hope you enjoy these delicious meals, specially created by our nutritionist to help you stick to your daily calorie allowance.

Pick your breakfast

Choose your lunch

Decide on dinner

Scone with Honey and Yogurt 1 wholemeal scone spread with 1 tbsp honey. 1 pot low-fat yogurt 125g (/4½oz) and 1 orange.

Mexican bean salad Place 50g (2oz) sweetcorn, 4 cherry tomatoes, ½ sliced onion and 1 small tin butter beans into a bowl. Make dressing by combining 1 tbsp lime juice, ½ tsp crushed chillies and 1 tbsp olive oil. Mix well. Add salad leaves and some chopped coriander.

Spinach and Walnut Pasta See recipe, right

Porridge with Blueberries 40g (1½oz) porridge oats prepared with 200ml (7fl oz) semi-skimmed milk. Top with 80g (3oz) blueberries and 1 mandarin divided into segments.

Baked Potato with Cheese and Pepper Stuffing Pierce 1 large potato all over with a fork. Microwave at a medium heat for about 7 minutes. Meanwhile, boil ½ chopped pepper for a few minutes and grate 30g (1¼oz) low-fat cheddar. When potato is soft, scoop out insides and mix with chopped pepper and cheese. If desired, place in oven for a few minutes until cheese is melted. Top with 1 chopped spring onion.

Turkey Enchiladas See recipe, right

1, 2 & 3

Asparagus Frittata Add 1 tsp olive oil to a non-stick frying pan. Add 2 asparagus spears, cut into 1cm (½in) pieces, and cook over medium heat until soft. Beat 2 eggs with 1 tbsp low-fat crème fraiche, ½ chopped red pepper, 1 tbsp fresh sage and black pepper. Pour into pan and reduce heat. Cover and cook for 15-20 minutes. Porridge with Mango and Crème Fraîche 40g (1½oz) porridge oats prepared with 200ml (7fl oz) semi-skimmed milk. Add ½ mango, chopped, and top with 1 tbsp low-fat crème fraîche.

Quinoa and Toasted Tortilla Salad Cook 40g (1½oz) quinoa according to instructions. Drain and toss with 1 tsp olive oil and squeeze of fresh lime juice. Finely chop ½ red onion, 1 tomato, ½ green pepper, handful salad leaves and 1 tbsp parsley. Mix into quinoa. Heat a non-stick pan and toast 1 tortilla on both sides until crisp. Slice into strips and serve with the salad.

Salmon and Cucumber Tortilla Mix 100g (4oz) tinned salmon with ½ tbsp light mayonnaise and ¼ chopped cucumber. Place salmon mix in a tortilla wrap with salad leaves.

Baked Pesto Chicken with Vegetables See recipe, right

Green Curry See recipe, p60

Hazelnut and Banana Toast Top 2 slices wholegrain toast with 1 banana and 25g (1oz) hazelnuts.

Pitta with Chicken, Pesto and Salad Slice open 1 pitta bread, spread with 1 tbsp pesto. Fill with 100g (4oz) sliced chicken fillet, 1 handful salad leaves and 1 sliced tomato.

Dijon Honey Pork See recipe, right

Greek Yogurt with Honey and Nut Cereal 1 pot low-fat Greek yogurt 125g (4½oz) mixed with 30g (1¼oz) branflakes, 1 tsp honey and 1 tsp mixed nuts. 1 glass orange juice 200ml (/7fl oz).

Toasted Tuna Sandwich Mix 100g (4oz) tinned tuna with 1 tbsp light mayonnaise and spread over 2 slices wholegrain bread. Top with 30g (1¼oz) low-fat cheddar and 2 tbsp sweetcorn. Place under a preheated grill until cheese melts and tuna is warmed through.

Steak with Rosemary Roast Potatoes See recipe, p60

Bran Flakes with Banana and Low-fat Yogurt 40g (1½oz) bran flakes with 1 chopped banana and 1 pot low-fat yogurt 125g (4½oz).

Roast beef sandwich and Low-fat Yogurt Spread 2 slices wholegrain bread with 1 tsp Dijon mustard. Top with salad leaves, 1 sliced tomato, 2 slices roast beef and 2 tbsp cottage cheese. Follow with 1 pot low-fat yogurt 125g (4½oz).

Pork in Tomato and Red Wine Sauce See recipe, p60

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Spinach and Walnut Pasta

Rich in Omega 3

✢ 40g (1½oz) pasta (uncooked weight) ✢ 100ml (3½fl oz) semi-skimmed milk ✢ ½ tbsp olive oil ✢ 1 tbsp plain flour ✢ 1 pinch oregano ✢ 1 pinch black pepper ✢ 2 balls frozen spinach ✢ 1 tbsp walnuts

1. Pre-heat your oven to 190°C/375°F/Gas Mark 5. 2. Cook pasta following package directions, omitting any suggested fat or salt. 3. Make a white sauce by pouring milk and oil into a saucepan and adding flour. Bring to the boil over a medium heat, whisking continuously. Once boiling, turn heat down to low and simmer for a couple of minutes. 4. When sauce has thickened add oregano, pepper and frozen spinach. 5. Add chopped walnuts and set aside to cool. 6. Once pasta is cooked, drain and stir in spinach and walnut sauce. 7. Pour pasta into an ovenproof dish and bake for 20 minutes before serving.

Turkey Fajitas

✢ 100g (4oz) minced turkey ✢ 2 tomatoes, chopped ✢ 3 tbsp salsa ✢ ½ green pepper, sliced ✢ ¼ red onion, sliced ✢ 1 pinch chilli powder ✢ 1 wholegrain tortilla wrap ✢ 75g (2½oz) re-fried beans ✢ 2 spring onions, chopped 1. Cook mince in a non-stick pan for about 10 mins or until meat is no longer pink. 2. Drain off any excess fat and add tomatoes, salsa, pepper, onion and chilli powder. 3. Cook for 5-10 mins to soften pepper/onion. 4. Microwave tortilla for 20 secs to warm and spread with re-fried beans. 5. Top with turkey mix and spring onions. Roll up and serve.

Baked Pesto Chicken with Vegetables ✢ 4 new potatoes ✢ ½ tbsp olive oil ✢ ½ courgette ✢ ½ red pepper ✢ ½ red onion, sliced ✢ 1 chicken fillet ✢ 1 tbsp pesto

Nutrition packed veg

1. Pre-heat your oven to 220°C/425°F/Gas Mark 7. 2. Par-boil potatoes, chop them in half, place in a roasting tin and drizzle with the olive oil. Roast in oven for 15 minutes. 3. In the meantime, chop courgette, pepper and onion into large chunks. 4. Remove potatoes from oven and stir to ensure they are not sticking. 5. Next add chicken to tin, spoon over pesto and add chopped veg. Return to oven and cook for a further 20-25 minutes.

Lose weight with yoursdietclub.co.uk –

Dijon Honey Pork

✢ ½ tbsp honey ✢ ½ tbsp Dijon mustard ✢ 2 tbsp cider vinegar ✢ 100g (4oz) lean pork ✢ 4 new potatoes ✢ 50g (2oz) green beans ✢ 1 small carrot ✢ 50g (2oz) peas ✢ 1 eating apple 1. Mix together honey, mustard and cider vinegar and use to coat pork. Cover and allow to marinade for at least 30 minutes, longer if possible. 2. Pre-heat grill and cook pork until cooked through, about 15 minutes depending on thickness of the meat. Turn occasionally during cooking. 3. Boil your new potatoes and vegetables and make apple sauce by coring and slicing the apple, adding a little water, and cooking. 4. Serve pork with your vegetables and sauce on the side.

Join us today!


How to have a ...

HAPPY FAMIL Modern families often have complex dynamics, with break-ups, step-children and second marriages it can be hard to keep up. We offer some advice on embracing changes in your family

Talking to teens Meet our expert ✢ Paula Hall is a Relationship

✢ My son has remarried and I suddenly have stepgrandchildren. How can I help integrate them into the family – especially the teenagers? New family members can be difficult to get to know, especially when you have less in common, which is even more acutely obvious with teenagers. “The two most important things are to be yourself and to

Psychotherapist with Relate and author of Help Your Children Cope with Your Divorce.

be interested,” says relationship psychotherapist, Paula Hall. “People can tell when you’re not relaxed or being yourself and teenagers, in particular, can

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smell a fraud a mile off. If you’re not into the latest fashion and music then don’t pretend you are, just be yourself. And be interested in them. As confident as teenagers might try to be they usually find meeting new people really awkward, as they don’t know what to say. Take time to find out what they’re interested in and what their dreams are – everyone likes talking about themselves.” Listen attentively, even if they’re not speaking directly to you. You’ll learn more about them, and that could help you to encourage them to open up later. [ TOP TIP ] Try not to offer too many strong opinions to begin with – especially if you think it could cause conflict. Biting your tongue in the early days could help form stronger bonds until you know each other better.

Staying connected

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✢ How can I keep in touch my grandchildren now my son and daughter-in-law have split up? “This can depend on how good your relationship was with your ex-daughter-in-law and how old the children are,” says Paula. “Making sure you don’t take sides is absolutely essential and if it feels like you’re being dragged into things, say that


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you’re only on the side of the grandchildren.” [ TOP TIP ] Practical support is always welcome so why not reach out and offer to help with childcare? Babysitting is always appreciated and it will help keep contact as regular as possible.

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HELP! IT’S MY PARTNER WHO’S NEW

You’ve every right to be happy in later life, but introducing a new partner to your family needs to be done sensitively. “Remember, it takes time for people to get to know each other and often we don’t like What does she change,” says Paula. “It’s important to take see in him? things slowly and be patient.” ✢ My daughter Fair play for all If two parties are struggling to get on, you has remarried and shouldn’t have to choose between them, and I just can’t seem to ✢ I already had three you certainly shouldn’t feel guilty about hoping get on with her new grandchildren and now I have for a harmonious home. husband. How can I two new step-grandchildren. build bridges? How can I avoid favouritism? [ TOP TIP ] Gently remind everyone that while their feelings are valid “This is a difficult and “This really depends on the your happiness is sensitive issue,” says Paula. age of the children but the important, too. “Try to learn to see him through general rule is to ensure you’re your daughter’s eyes. Ask yourself being fair with everyone,” what is it about him that she says Paula. “Younger children loves – can you learn to see and quickly adapt to the idea of appreciate those qualities too? avoid being an outsider is to be multiple grandparents and Ultimately you have to remember generous with your invitations,” won’t necessarily differentiate that you’re not the one who’s says Paula. “Don’t wait to be between those that are married to them and what matters invited to things, instead be the related and those that aren’t. is that you ‘love’ them, even if you initiator of contact. And make Older children will probably don’t like them much.” sure when you have spent time understand if you have a closer with family members you let bond to the children that you’ve [ TOP TIP ] Avoid making unfavourable comparisons them know how much you enjoy known the longest and won’t with a former partner. Instead, and appreciate their company.” expect to be treated the same.” make a point of focusing on [ TOP TIP ] If you’ve suddenly [ TOP TIP ] “Talk to the parents any positive differences. inherited a whole bunch of and make sure they know that step-grandchildren, offer to you don’t want to cause any I feel unimportant take them out or invite them awkwardness. Ask them to ✢ As my family gets bigger I over one at a time, so you let you know if they hear any almost feel like I’m the outsider make time to get to know each comments from the children,” – how can I feel more involved? of them individually. says Paula. If you find yourself feeling out of the loop, try not to dwell on ✢ If things are proving difficult, Relate offers family counselling. For more information call 0300 100 1234 or visit www.relate.org.uk feeling ignored. “The best way to YOURS

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PICS: ALAMY; SHUTTERSTOCK

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0 Murder 1 BEST... of the

✢ Complete Mystery Evenings, SCOTLAND In the ultimate twist, It’s a Complete Mystery does exactly what it says on the tin – there may not even be a murder committed! It’s up to you as a dinner guest to work out exactly what crime has been carried out (and costumes are encouraged). The action takes place between courses throughout your hotel. Various dates across Edinburgh and Glasgow. £45 per person, including dinner. Call 0779 208 3143 or visit www.completemystery.co.uk

✢ Murder Mystery on the British Pullman, LONDON Utterly romantic, but downright dangerous! It’s 1933 and as you depart London Victoria, love and intrigue are in the air… A five-course lunch, glass of Champagne and bottle of wine per couple is included. Upcoming dates: May15, Jun12, Jul 26, Aug 28, Sep12, Oct 25, Nov15. £310 per person. Call 0845 217 0799 or visit www.orient-express.com

mystery experiences Test your powers of observation and deduction on a crime-busting event! ✢ A Victorian Murder Mystery, LANCASTER CASTLE This After Dark Entertainment event takes place from the castle courtrooms right through to the cells. Guests must search the castle under their own steam to uncover the mystery. A hot-pot supper is also provided to keep those little grey cells working! May11, £19 per person. Call 01524 64998 or visit www.afterdarkmurder.co.uk

✢ Murder mystery evening, HARROGATE

FOR AGATHA CHRISTIE FANS

In 1926 Agatha Christie disappeared for 11 days… before reappearing here at the Old Swan Hotel, Harrogate. A fitting venue for this murder mystery evening, which includes dinner. April 20, £41 for three courses. Call 01423 500055 or visit www.classiclodges.co.uk/The_Old_Swan_ Hotel_Harrogate

✢ Joy Swift’s Original Murder Mystery Weekends, VARIOUS LOCATIONS Joy Swift MBE truly knows her Sherlocks from her Miss Marples, having invented the interactive murder mystery concept 32 years ago. The weekend includes four-star accommodation, several ‘murders’ and excellent actors. VARIETY Various UK dates and locations. Prices from £270. OF UK VENUES Call 0151 9241124 or visit www.murder.co.uk 106

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✢ Murder At The Manor Weekend,

PLAY YOUR PART!

✢ Dickensian Interactive Investigation, BURY

BOURNEMOUTH You will have your own part to play here, with character details sent out before you arrive at Langtry Manor. It’s set in the days of the British Empire, the cream of the British Raj are celebrating the return of the stolen Tiger’s Eye ruby…

Impress your family with your sleuthing prowess… After Dark Entertainment’s investigations are suitable for all ages. Guests can search the Bury Transport Museum for clues to solve a very Victorian mystery, with some familiar literary characters.

Mar15-16. From £430, with dinner and breakfast. Call 01202 553887 or visit www.langtrymanor.co.uk

Mar 26, adult £10, child £8. Call 0844 686 9289 or visit www.afterdarkmurder.co.uk

✢ Medical Mystery, SOUTH GLOUCESTERSHIRE A doctor’s retirement party turns sour at a weekend break with a dinnertime mystery. This trip to the Tortworth Court Four Pillars Hotel leaves plenty of time to enjoy the spa and excellent afternoon teas. Just what the doctor ordered. May17-19, from £179. Call 01454 263000, visit www. tortworth-court-hotel.four-pillars.co.uk

✢ Arundel Jailhouse Dinner and Mystery, WEST SUSSEX A monthly event that usually sells out, but it’s only for the brave as it’s staged in Arundel’s Victorian prison cells! The scene is set for dinner with murder on the menu. You’re in safe hands with this experienced theatre group... or are you? First Friday of every month (Apr 5, May 3). £25 per person, including dinner. Call 01903 889821 or visit www.arundeljailhouse.co.uk

WYE VALLEY Bookworms beware the Romance Writer of the Year Awards, where something sinister is afoot. Enjoy a threecourse dinner at the Pilgrim Hotel in questionable company, as an explosive book is due to be released... Mar 23 and Apr 20. Tickets £39.50. Bed and breakfast optional, from £60. Call 01981 540742 or visit www.pilgrimhotel.co.uk

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Now visit www.yours.co.uk for more days out and leisure time ideas

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Next issue: Hidden Gems of the North East travel special!

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WORDS: LIZZY DENING; PICS: ISTOCK PHOTO; THINKSTOCK; NATIONAL TRUST

✢ A Deadly Dinner,


❙ star chat ❙

My lessons from life…

Kika Markham, Mr Selfridge’s formidable mother Lois, chats about what really matters

Mr Selfridge was fun to film as it’s such an enormous change from our daily lives. I took a very funny photo on set of a row of actors sitting in period costumes using mobile phones! It’s lovely to go back in time and realise what it must have been like. Women were under a tremendous strain to look immaculate; even going for lunch was difficult, pulling up those long skirts all the time!

✢ It’s never too late for love

✢ Some things are meant to be…

Corin (Redgrave, who Kika was married to for 25 years until his death in 2010) and I were half way through our lives when we got together. As actors it was hard sometimes; when I’d just had my second son it was difficult for me because Corin was getting all the work! Our families have always been very supportive and helpful and Corin always had terrific confidence in me. He was the most wonderful soulmate.

Corin’s parents and mine actually met before either of us were born! My mother knitted a blanket for Rachel Kempson’ s baby, Corin, and Rachel knitted a blanket for Mum’s baby, which was me! Our fathers were also in a film together when they were very young men.

✢ Older people have much to give

✢ Don’t leave anything unsaid I have two sons and two stepchildren and my mother taught me to give your children as much value as you can. Tell them you love them and never feel like if you die the next day, you’d think, “I wish I had said that.” It’s always better to say something – even if you don’t like saying it!

✢ Be kind to yourself I would advise my children not to feel like they have to mould to a particular pattern and compete against others who appear to be racing ahead. We’re a society of deadlines and targets, but we shouldn’t be so judgmental on ourselves. When I was young I was terribly self-critical. 138

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Kika with her late husband Corin (left) and above as Poirot’s love interest

So many people in this generation are living longer, and maybe it’s my imagination, but they all seem so kind and wise. My sister told me you need three things in old age – to keep active, have something to care for and to have a challenge. I think older women need more representation on television.

✢ Kika was talking to Laura Bradder

✢ Mr Selfridge (series one), final episode, is on Sunday, March 10, ITV, 9pm. Buy it on DVD and blu-ray from March 11 courtesy Universal Pictures UK

WHAT MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE TODAY? I feel lucky to have inherited a curiosity about life, which I think comes from my mother. I also have the imagination and empathy that both my parents had, which has enabled me to try to understand what it is like to be someone else.

PICS: GETTY IMAGES; REX FEATURES AND ITV

✢ It’s good to be given the chance to go back in time


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