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11/10/10 12:43:42 11.10.2010 11:37 Rival Colour LTD
❝Give today’s kids my 50s childhood❞ Life for children is more dangerous today – but don’t take away all the freedom we grew up with, says Alan Titchmarsh Young Alan poses as a cowboy in the garden, with homemade sword
By Christine Smith elebrity gardener and chat show presenter Alan Titchmarsh never had a privileged childhood – but he remembers it as one full of love, laughter and the natural freedom he believes every small boy and girl should have. He’s worried that today’s children prefer computer games and mobile phones to outdoor adventures, and fears that modern society wraps them up in cotton wool.
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Alan – whose new book, When I Was A Nipper, looks back at his own childhood during the Fifties – believes children like him were given a lot more freedom compared to nowadays. Consequently, he says, today’s kids are not as “contented” as they were back then. Alan (61) says: “There’s more negativity about now than during that period. It was straight after the war and people were getting their breath back. We were grateful to be alive and have a house to live in. Our expectations were lower.
“I know it sounds boring to harp on about things like ‘make do and mend’ but people were more easily contented back then than we are now. “Everywhere we look, we’re reminded how much things have changed. I think potential danger is greater today, but it is not as great as it’s sometimes made out. I wonder nowadays whether we’re wrapping up our children in cotton wool too much. “It is a dangerous world out there, but you might as well live in it rather than stay locked up and not go out. It’s a shame children
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aren’t allowed to grow up with a certain amount of freedom, just in case anything goes wrong.” While Alan accepts modern parents have the additional worry of more traffic on the roads, he thinks children are too obsessed with having the latest gadgets, such as Playstation computer games, rather than using their imagination to play outdoors. “There were hardly any cars on the road when I was growing up, but I was allowed to go and play on the moors without any supervision. Mum just told me when to come back for my tea.
‘People were more easily contented then than we are now’ Children could do more alone back then. “It saddens me that today’s children aren’t outdoors as much as we were. I’m not saying you have to live in the country, but how about playing out in the garden, using your imagination, climbing trees, putting a worm in a matchbox and making mud pies? Keep an eye on them, but
don’t let children end up being afraid of the great outdoors – they shouldn’t feel it’s an alien place.” Alan has nothing but happy memories of his own childhood growing up in Ilkley, West Yorkshire, with his parents, Bessie and Alan. “I was born in the right period because I was allowed to play out. My happiest memories are all outdoors,” he remembers. “That was perfection. I would find it very frustrating if I wasn’t allowed to play out in the woods. “My parents had traditional values,” Alan recalls. “They weren’t well off. Dad was a plumber and Mum was a housewife, but they always had consideration for others and generosity of spirit. They definitely shaped my childhood. “There were hardships. We were colder in those days and life wasn’t easy, but I was never brought up thinking anything was mine by divine right. It makes you more appreciative of things.” It’s the scent of flowers that transports Alan back to his childhood. “Smells really make me think back,” he says, warmly. “Things like sweet Williams or wallflowers which my grandfather grew on his allotment. I have to smile to myself at those happy memories.” Alan was determined to make sure he brought up his own two daughters, Polly and Camilla, in a way that they felt loved and cherished. “They’re grown up YOURS
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Yours exclusive survey results
Q: What’s the real cost of a grandchild? A: £50,352 (& worth every p Today’s loving grandparents are paying a staggeringly high price for the joy grandchildren grow up but they wouldn’t have it any other way By Carole Richardson and Laura Bradder
A
ccording to a Yours survey into the cost of having a grandchild in 2010, time, love and attention are still the greatest gifts any doting grandparent can give their precious children’s children. But for everything else, today’s generation of self-sacrificing grandparents are happy to spend a small fortune on supporting their families. With Britain’s current tough economic climate, grandparents’ contributions are higher and more crucial than ever. What you tell us is that although you worry about paying your own bills you regularly splurge a whole fifth (and often much more) of your incomes on your nearest and Thousands of dearest. Read on to find you responded out more... to our survey
Just some of the items you splash out on... 18
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Starting with the pram (£165) £50,352 on the first 18 years of a and cot (£100) our survey reveals grandchild’s life. you’ll spend, spend, spend over After funding early-years the years on your grandchildren essentials such as nursery and often be willing to downsize paraphernalia, school shoes, or release equity from family clothing and birthday parties, homes to supply of your average funds on top of what’s instantly weekly income (£247 available or £12,844 a year) is spent on from salaries, pensions and your children and grandchildren savings. Our in-depth survey reveals the you’re happy to trek the streets staggering statistics behind the to buy must-have teenage vital generosity that’s propping gadgets and trainers. Often up struggling families in our you pay mobile phone bills, recession-struck society. music, dancing and swimming Without even taking lessons and pick up the tab for into account the cost of free school trips, while paying an childminding (86 per cent average £300 a year into your “wouldn’t dream” of charging) grandchild’s bank account. for an average 14 hours a week, To make the children’s home the average grandparent spends environment more comfortable
22%
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y gran’s survey y NATION’S FAVOURITE GRANDPARENTS
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How it adds up... Baby equipment Clothing /shoes Home and garden Toys/gifts/books Hobbies Savings for grandkids Holidays Treats Bills/mortgages/ emergencies
you’ll pay for dishwashers and redecoration, garden plants, holidays, car running costs – and even clear your children’s debts and help with mortgage repayments. And it doesn’t end with a grandchild’s 18th birthday. After contributing towards university costs, some of you even pay for deposits on first homes. A minority who do this after paying private school fees will be coughing up a whopping £121,852 during the first 18 years. Not that the three quarters of all
Total
60%
say they dip into savings to help out
£390 £9,995 £780 £3,109 £7,510 £5,400 £4,476 £4,272 £14,420
£50,352 grandparents who say they “help their families out” have money to burn. The average weekly income of grandparents taking part in our survey is £247, or £12,844 a year of which 22 per cent is spent on your children and grandchildren. Seventy per cent of grandparents also have savings averaging £18,144. Six out of ten say they dip into savings to help out. While the majority (46 per cent) do so only occasionally, another eight per cent admit you do so frequently.
HELP WITH THE BIG BILLS...
D More than a fifth of grandparents say they’ve contributed generously towards the home their grandchildren live in. Two per cent even bought the home outright while 26 per cent paid deposits averaging £29,500. Ten per cent help out with mortgage repayments. D More than one in ten grandparents have already either downsized their home to release funds for their family or are prepared to let their family move in with them. D Almost a third of grandparents helped buy the family car their grandchildren are ferried round in by their parents – and slightly more contribute towards petrol costs.
... AND THE LITTLE LUXURIES D Grandparents pop £14-worth of treats on average into their weekly shopping basket and 43 per cent admit they buy them “ little luxuries” they wouldn’t indulge themselves with.
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D The warm Celtic charm of Gloria Hunniford and Terry Wogan made them the celebrity grandparents voted best role models. D Gloria beat Dame Judi Dench and The Queen for the honour while Sir Terry pipped actor Kevin Whately (Inspector Morse’s Lewis) and Paul O’Grady to the post. D Best soap gran was Emmerdale’s Edna Birch, followed by Coronation Street’s Deirdre Barlow and EastEnders’ Peggy Mitchell. D The worst celebrity granddads were Mick Jagger, Ronnie Wood and Jim Royle of The Royle Family.
Turn the page for more
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Style notes
Skincare SINS and smart ways to avoid them
By Jade Pickering very woman needs a good skincare routine – but get it wrong and you could end up adding on the years. “As we age, our skin renewal rate slows down,” says Candice Gardner, of the International Dermal Institute. “Ageing skin doesn’t produce the same amount of naturals oils as younger skin, so your
E
The product rut Most of us have fallen into the trap of sticking with the same products for years, but using the same moisturiser you swore by when you were in your 20s might not be beneficial to your skin now. Put simply, you need to treat the skin you see in the mirror now and not what you saw 30 years ago. “It’s important to introduce new products into your skincare routine”, says Noella. “Serums are great for mature skin because they’re light and help enhance the performance of your moisturiser.” D Try adding L’Oreal Paris Age Perfect Intensive Reinforcing Serum (£14.99/30ml) to your daily routine.
Over-cleansing Having squeaky-clean skin after cleansing may feel like you’ve done a good job, but in fact you could be doing more harm than good. “Over-cleansing can strip the skin of natural oils, causing it to dry out,” says Noella. Cleanse no more than morning and night. If you’ve greasy skin, opt for an oil-free cleanser. For dry skin, avoid soap-based products as these can dry the skin even more. 42
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complexion can start to look dull, dry and flaky.” “The texture and tone of your skin changes too as you age,” says Noella Gabriel, Elemis product director. “Your beauty routine should be dictated by what your skin is telling you now.” To make the most of your skin at 50-plus, follow our expert advice and stop committing these common sins.
Harsh exfoliating Exfoliation is key for any anti-ageing skincare routine, as it helps strip off dead skin cells and give the appearance of a brighter complexion. But don’t be over-zealous when rubbing your skin, as it could become dry and sore. Noella recommends that exfoliating twice a week is enough to keep your skin functioning at its best. “Exfoliators with jojoba beads work well for ageing skin, because they help remove dead skin but leave a layer of oil on the skin too. Opt for fruit enzyme-based exfoliators instead.” D Try A’kin Jojo and Corn Gentle Exfoliating Face Scrub (£13.99/75ml) to leave your skin soft and silky. StockiStS: A’kin 0845 602 6849 Boots 0845 070 8090 www.boots.com L’Oreal 0800 072 6699 www.loreal-paris.co.uk Details correct at time of going to press
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Using moisturiser on your eyes adding an eye cream to your routine might seem like an unnecessary expense, but it can, in fact, help reduce tired, puffy eyes in an instant. “Your eye area is delicate and fragile and using a normal moisturiser can irritate and cause sensitivity,” says Noella. The first signs of ageing are often seen around your eyes, so to get the most from your eye cream, opt for a plumper or filler to reduce those fine lines and wrinkles. “always apply eye creams and gels by gently patting with your ring finger. Start from the outer corner and work towards your nose,” says Noella. D Add Boots Time Delay Restoring Eye Cream (£6.49/15ml) to your daily routine to wake up tired eyes.
Product overload Trying to fight all your skin concerns at once can be confusing for your skin, so tackle them one at a time. “Cherry picking from different products and ranges can result in some formulas conflicting, rendering each useless and stopping you from getting the right results,” says Candice. Instead, make sure you stick to one problem at a time, whether it’s banishing age spots, reducing the appearance of wrinkles or brightening your complexion. “Your regime should be flexible, allowing you to accommodate for the changes in your skin condition,” she adds.
Skipping ultraviolet protection
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adding a Sun Protection Factor (SPF) moisturiser or foundation to your skincare regime is essential. “Regular use of creams with an SPF can help reverse some damage. Therefore, regular defence could improve your skin,” says Candice. Most foundations and moisturisers come with an SPF. D Try the new No7 Protect and Perfect Intense Day Cream with 5 Star UVA Protection (£20.50/50ml). 43
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y PAT Dog of the year y
Which dog will w
Vote now for one of these six life-changing finalists… if you are able to choose between them! You could win £100 worth of HiLife pet food By Sheena Correa
nother year, another line-up of finalists for the Pets As Therapy (PAT) Dog of the Year. Hundreds of nominations were whittled down to these six who all deserve recognition for their fantastic work. Pets As Therapy volunteers bring friendship to more than 130,000 residents and patients in hospitals, hospices and care homes. Fill in the coupon, or visit www.yours.co.uk and you could win £100 worth of HiLife cat or dog food. The PAT dog winner will be announced in a spring 2011 issue. • To find out more about Pets As Therapy call 01844 345445 or visit www.petsastherapy.org
Esme Shetland Sheepdog owned by John Edwards, from Whitchurch, Shropshire. Esme received separate nominations from staff and residents at four nursing homes. Staff say Esme’s an indispensable part of the team, while the residents from one home signed a petition for ‘our Esme’ to win the competition this year.
Howard Boxer owned by Yolanda Tonkin, from Penryn in Cornwall. His owners wanted to give something back as their son, Aiden, suffered from leukaemia and was visited by a PAT dog in Bristol Children’s Hospital while waiting for a bone marrow transplant. Yolanda says: “Having visits from a PAT dog made a huge difference to Aiden’s recovery.”
Roo Chihuahua owned by Jane Neary, from Solihull. Tiny Roo has been a Pets As Therapy dog for more than five years and is a valued member of the team, as he received seven nominations from the Stroke Ward of Solihull Hospital. Staff say: “Roo brings happiness and love to all the patients and has a huge impact on their rehabilitation.”
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Muppet Cocker Spaniel owned by Leisl de Lafontaine, from Bath. Readers may recognise Muppet – she was one of last year’s finalists. Her work over five years at the children’s ward of the Royal United Hospital in Bath resulted in her receiving 27 nominations from children and staff! As one patient says: “Muppet helps us smile again.”
Lexi German Shepherd owned by Jo Jefford, from Stockwood in Worcestershire. Lexi carries out her work at the Vale of Evesham School, a special school for 140 children. The nominating teacher says: “Lexi has helped a lot of youngsters to overcome their fear of dogs, gain confidence, boost self-esteem and make friends.” How to vote Choose your favourite PAT Win dog from the finalists here, then cast your vote £100 o HiLife p f in one of the following ways: et D By website: www.yours.co.uk food D By post: send this coupon to PAT dog of the Year 2010, Karyn Taylor, Pets As Therapy, HiLife PAT dog of the Year 2010/11, 3A Grange Farm Cottages, Wycombe Road, Saunderton, Princes Risborough, Buckinghamshire HP27 9NS Postal votes must arrive by the closing date, November 30, 2010.
Please tick one choice: Esme Howard Roo
≈
≈ ≈ Lexi ≈ Muppet ≈ Maisie ≈
Title ........................ First name ........................................................... Surname ................................................................................................. Address ................................................................................................. .............................................................. Postcode .................................. Mobile phone* ....................................................................................... Email* ......................................................................................................
Maisie Great Dane owned by Marie Lilley, from Bury in Lancashire. Maisie received nominations from four nursing homes, St Ann’s Brownies and Bury Hospice. Staff say: “Maisie has a calming effect on our patients.” Helpers at St Ann’s Brownies add: “Maisie has such a serene disposition, even while she’s being prodded by 40 noisy seven to ten-year-old girls!”
Please enter me into the free prize draw to win £100 worth of HiLife. Tick as applicable: dog food or cat food
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Terms and Conditions: Photocopies of this voucher will not be accepted. Please do not vote for more than one nominee. No nominations will be counted after the closing date on Monday, November 30, 2010. Yours standard competition rules also apply – see page 132. Bauer Media (publishers of Yours magazine) may wish to contact you by post or phone. Please tick here if you do not wish to be contacted by Yours magazine ≈ or by specially selected partners≈. *By entering your email address/mobile phone number you are choosing to receive email and text messages from time to time with relevant offers and promotions from Yours magazine. You can unsubscribe at any time and your details will not be passed on to any other organisations.
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Ask us anything… about keeping fit While we can’t promise that you’ll be doing pretzel-like contortions into your 70s, some simple lifestyle changes can boost joints and help you stay supple, conditioned and mobile Meet our experts D Professor D Paula Coates, D Steve Pomroy, Philip Conaghan chartered personal of the University physiotherapist trainer, who of Leeds and and author of specialises in Arthritis Research Arthritis: Exercise plans work with over-50s UK (www.arthritis to improve your life like himself (www. researchuk.org) (£6.99, A&C Black) fitterover50.com)
Think of your 50s as putting down sound health foundations for the future. “Osteoarthritis is one of the most common causes of joint pain,” says Professor Philip Conaghan of Arthritis Research UK. “It can develop at any age, but for many people symptoms start to emerge in their 50s.” DFitting in fitness. The ‘use it or lose it’ theory applies to suppleness, explains chartered physiotherapist Paula Coates.
IN YOUR
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How to
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KNOw?
Gardening, dancing and house cleaning are all good ways to exercise daily
“An exercise routine is vital for your joint health and to help protect against countless other conditions including heart disease.” Finding time can be hard if you’re working – so give your lifestyle an activity audit. Can you integrate walking or cycling into your journey to work? Squeeze in a park walk at lunchtime? Playing with the grandkids, gardening, dancing and cleaning are great ways to get exercise without noticing. D Nourish your joints The scientific jury is out about specific foods to protect joints – but research suggests essential fatty acids found in oily fish, nuts and seeds and plant oils like olive oil can help. They’re heart-beneficial too. Studies show antioxidant nutrients called carotenoids found in oranges, pumpkin and papayas can keep inflammation at bay. Eat a balanced, healthy diet – to control weight, protect and repair your body. Paula adds: “Injuries take longer to heal as we age. A healthy diet and not smoking will aid the process.” D Down with sitting down Too much can reduce joint mobility. If you have a deskbound job or do lots of driving, have frequent walking breaks. Personal trainer Steve Pomroy advises: “Make time to stretch every major muscle group, including hamstrings, the muscles at the back of your thighs, hands and shoulders. This protects against progressive muscle shortening.” D Test your boundaries Stress-proof joints against unexpected
movements and injury by challenging them. “This comes from any exercise that puts them through their full range of motion,” explains Paula. Try a gentle form of yoga, a non-repetitive type of
Can you squeeze in a lunchtime walk in the park?
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exercise such as dancing, which gets you moving in different directions, or a home resistance workout – for instance, using a Dyna-Band and balance ball.
Build a varied exercise regime to help prevent pain and stiffness D watch your weight Studies show women put on about one pound per year during the menopause. Keep it under control; carrying excess pounds puts you at higher risk of conditions including Type 2 diabetes as well as burdening your joints. “You can still be overweight and supple but, in general, staying within a healthy weight range will take pressure off your joints, enable you to
IN YOUR
60s
Cod liver oil may help your joints
do more and keep you mobile,” explains Steve. D Extra boost An array of joint-friendly supplements are available and although evidence is patchy, some people find them helpful. “Glucosamine sulphate may have an analgesic effect, but its effect on joint structure is still controversial and there is no evidence it prevents the onset of osteoarthritis,” explains Philip. Other common supplements include bromelain – a chemical found in pineapples, chondroitin and cod liver oil. D Body awareness “Activities that improve posture and balance will help prevent falls and injuries,” Paula explains. “Yoga, Pilates and t’ai chi are good places to start, but simply standing on one leg can help greatly. Try it when cleaning your teeth, at the bus stop, waiting for the kettle to boil or talking on the phone.”
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Lynda’s
look at life…
’m looking forward to meeting up with my old gang from Aylesbury High School this November, at the opening night of Calendar Girls at the Waterside Theatre in Aylesbury. I’ve seen many of them a few times over the years, but there are a couple I’ve not seen since school 50 years ago. It’s a scary thought. There are always people in your life who work tirelessly to bring folk together, but I’m often quite happy to move on to the next thing in life. Maybe I’ve learned this from my slightly gipsy existence as an actor. We all move around from job to job, and life is an endless series of farewells.
i
Whenever I’ve gone to a reunion with actors from a past job it all seems a bit sad because it was the job that held us together. Once that no longer exists there is little to talk about. There is awful embarrassment for the ones who are working trying to make out they’re not really happy, while the unemployed try to pretend they’re not green with envy. Perhaps the most exciting reunion, of sorts, was appearing in a production of Hey, Mr Producer! at Drury Lane for one night only. It was an extravaganza put on by Sir Cameron Mackintosh in front of the Queen to raise money for the RNIB. I spent two days in a constant state of excitement seeing people I hadn’t seen for years. The show was based on all Cameron’s successes over the years and I was in a chorus line of his leading ladies, headed up by Julia Mackenzie and Millicent Martin. I was so frightened of singing with such luminaries, but just got completely carried away with the whole event. Dressing rooms were bulging at the seams with actresses, dancers and singers from five generations. Suddenly it felt good to be older and to have spent so many years in the profession. Blasts from
Lynda relishes a reunion with old school pals, but usually prefers moving on to the next thing in her life the past, like ghosts, walked the corridors backstage. My whole life seemed to float before my eyes and there were some bits I had yet to encounter. I remember going up to Siân Phillips, who I didn’t know, to congratulate her on her performance in Pal Joey. Little did I know we would share a stage in Calendar Girls 15 years later! I guess the success of a reunion depends on the people reuniting. To stand in a room full of people
‘My whole life seemed to float before my eyes and there were some bits i had yet to encounter’ you never liked would be torture, but to find old friends who have gone their separate ways can be life-affirming. Maybe the ultimate test for me was This Is Your Life. As the voice behind the screen lovingly recalled an incident in my past, I held my breath and thought: ‘Please God let me remember who you are!’ It had elements of a terrible nightmare, but fortunately all the guests had been chosen by my Mum, so I knew exactly who everyone was on the night. But it could have gone so horribly wrong!
I promised in my last column to tell you about Amanda Redman’s wedding. It was such a fantastic day! Mandy’s husband Damian is an amazing chef and he made sure the catering was exquisite. At the ceremony, both of them cried and then set me 146
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off as well. Everybody was in tears! Coming into the Strictly season I can’t tell you what a relief it is not to be taking part. Felicity Kendal is the one to watch – I’m sure she’ll do well. I don’t know how she’ll cope with the criticism but maybe she’s made of sterner stuff than me...
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