‘Kindness
matters so much’ In a story that will resonate with many, actress Linda Robson opens up about losing her mum to cancer and dementia By Katharine Wootton s Mother’s Day comes around, it’s natural that our thoughts turn to our dear mums, w hether they’re still with us or whether are sadly no longer here. But for those of us who have lost a mum, this time of year is even more poignant. Birds of a Feather star Linda Robson has wonderful memories of her lovely mum, Rita, who passed away two and a half years ago. Linda says: “Mum really was the most important person in our family. And family meant everything to her, having grown up as one of 13 children in Ireland. She was the best mum and nan, and wherever she went, she told everyone she met about her three girls and her grandchildren. When
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I started in telly she’d sit on the bus and say to people, do you know who my daughter is? She was so proud of us all. “She was generous, too and while she didn’t go to church as often towards the end of her life, she’d say her prayers every night which would usually take her ages as she’d go through the names of everyone in the family.” So it was with much sadness that in early 2012, Linda and her sisters, Tina and Debbie, noticed that their mum was starting to act out of character. “At first we thought Mum was grieving for our stepdad Johnny who we’d all loved dearly and nursed through his battle with prostate cancer. “But we quickly realised that it was actually dementia creeping in. We’d go out shopping with her and suddenly she’d go missing and we wouldn’t be able to find her. Thankfully everyone in our town knew us, so people would say ‘oh I’ve just seen your
‘Wherever Mum went, she was forever telling everyone she met about her three girls and her grandchildren’ 20
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Rita surrounded by her beloved daughters Linda, left, and Tina and Debbie. Below, left, Rita as a young woman and below, with her daughters and grandchildren
‘Mum really was the most important person in our family. And family meant everything to her’ But when Linda’s mum finally passed away in August, 2013, it was, thankfully, a moment of great peace. “Me, my sisters and our cousin, Jackie, were all sleeping on mattresses in her room when my mum just fell asleep and never woke up. She was pain-free and surrounded by her loved ones. You know, people talk about lovely births but she really had a lovely death.” And to this day Linda is still full of thanks for the hospice that helped bring her mum and her
family such comfort, dignity and support in those last treasured months. “The treatment that my mum got was amazing and we can’t thank the Marie Curie nurses enough. We saw many people die in the hospice and met other families going through the same experience, but it wasn’t a sad place because everyone was surrounded by their loved ones. “Respect was a big word my mum used a lot when I was growing up and it’s something I passed on to my children. So it’s lovely that she was treated with so much respect in her final days.”
The Great Daffodil Appeal Linda is supporting this month’s Marie Curie Great Daffodil Appeal to help Marie Curie nurses provide care and support to people living with a terminal illness. You can show your support by simply giving a donation
and wearing a Marie Curie daffodil pin, available from volunteers across the country as well as from Superdrug, WHSmith, and Wyevale garden centres.
PICS: REX SHUTTERSTOCK
mum heading into Iceland’ or something.” But, sadly, she began to deteriorate and a few months’ later Rita was diagnosed with stomach cancer and began to lose a worrying amount of weight. As she was so frail, the doctors decided surgery or chemotherapy would be too traumatic and that it was kindest to let nature take its course, only using treatment to relieve her pain. Night and day, Linda and her sisters rallied round to care for their mum at home until a visiting nurse suggested Rita should go into a hospice for a week to build up her strength. That week of respite at the Marie Curie Hospice in Hampstead soon turned into five months, where she was cared for by a team of nurses. But every day Linda and her family still visited Rita, whose memory was slowly slipping away until she no longer recognised her beloved family. “When we arrived at the hospice she’d smile at us as if she recognised us, but she didn’t know who we were,” says Linda. And it was sometimes the little things that upset the most. “Mum never had a cup of tea in her life and didn’t like the stuff, but we’d arrive at the hospice and she’d be drinking a cup of tea as she’d forgotten she didn’t like it. It was heartbreaking to watch. “Before her illness, Mum would be so well turned out. She’d never leave the house unless her hair was immaculate and her make-up was done. She loved being smart and would always say to me, ‘Jesus, I don’t know where I got you from’ when I turned up for the school run with my pyjamas on and my hair uncombed. “So to see her deteriorate was terrible. Her personality changed and she’d get angry, sometimes hitting out at the nurses, even though she was never aggressive. That was the frustration of the dementia.”
✢ To make a donation call 0800 716 146 or visit www.mariecurie.org.uk YOURS
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Style notes
fake a waist 5 easy ways to
Look more shapely in seconds with these figure-fixing outfits By Fashion Editor Michelle Nightingale
PHOTOGRAPHY RUTH JENKINSON, STYLIST JO WINCH, HAIR AND MAKE-UP SARAH JANE GREEN
1 Play with proportions
Peplum tops are great for cheating a tiny waist, as are full skirts and dresses. Avoid going for really full shapes if you’re bottom heavy though and instead opt for a more forgiving A-line style.
Floral fit and flare dress £35, 8-20, M&Co
Lace panel top £25, 10-24, David Emanuel for Bonmarché
CLASSIC STYLE
Black skirt £35, 8-22, Bhs
White peplum blouse, £32, 8-24, Very; navy trousers, £14, 8-22, George at Asda; necklace, £16, M&S
STOCKISTS: Bhs 0344 411 6000 www.bhs.co.uk; Bonmarché 0330 026 2728 www.bonmarche. co.uk; Debenhams 0344 561 6161 www.debenhams.com; George at Asda 0800 952 0101 www.asda.com/George; Lavitta 0330 332 2529 www.lavitta.co.uk; M&Co 0800 031 7200 www. mandco.com; Marks & Spencer 0333 014 8000 www.marksandspencer.com; New Look 0344 499 6690 www.newlook.com; Next 0333 777 8000 www.next.co.uk; Phase Eight 0207 471 4422 www.phase-eight.com; Uniqlo www.uniqlo.com/uk; Very 0844 822 2321 www.very.co.uk Details correct at time of going to press
2 Try a wrap
Wrap and tie details will hide a round tummy and shrink your waist. Help slim broad shoulders with v-neckline tops and dresses. Turquoise gathered SUPER detail dress FLATTERING £25, 10-24, Bonmarché
Wrap-style dress, £35, 8-22, Bhs; necklace, £25, Next
3 Choose panels Cleverly placed panels can make you look slimmer in seconds as they take attention away from any problem areas. Monochrome panel dress £18, 8-22, George at Asda GREAT PRICE
Floral leaf illusion dress £35, 12-24, Lavitta
Floral wrap blouse £28, 8-22, M&Co Cube print top £22, 12-24, Lavitta
Panel top £18, 10-22, Bonmarché
Print jacket, £55, 8-22, M&S Collection; black belted dress, £39.90, xs-l, Uniqlo; necklace, £8, M&Co
4 Use strategic stripes 5 Give tailoring a go Cleverly placed stripes can give the illusion of a smaller waist. Try asymmetric styles or look for darker, contrasting stripes that hit your waist for instant slimming power.
Neatly tailored pieces are great for highlighting (or faking!) a slim waist. Try belted styles and team high-waisted trousers or skirts with slim-fitting tops tucked in so it doesn’t look bulky.
Stripe dress £35, 8-22, Bhs
Stripe tunic £25, 8-22, Bhs WAIST FLATTERING
Asymmetric stripe dress, £69, 8-20, J by Jasper Conran at Debenhams
Print pencil dress £59, 6-18, Very
FASHION EDITOR LOVES
Stripe blazer £16, 8-20, George at Asda
✢ NEXT ISSUE Macs with the flatter factor
Jacquard kimono coat £59, 8-20, Very
Blue wrap jacket £22.90, 8-20, New Look
Stripe top, £45 and high-waisted trouser, £39.50, both 6-22, Autograph at M&S; necklace, £20, Phase Eight
HEALTH &
vitality Meet our expert Francesca Marchetti is an optometrist and advisor to WINK, an independent eye-care panel supported by Bausch + Lomb
f all our senses, our sight is the one many of us fear losing the most, yet many of us don’t know what we can do to keep our eyes healthy. Sight loss isn’t inevitable as you age and taking steps to keep your eyes healthy now could lead to stronger sight in the future, helping prevent agerelated macular degeneration (AMD), glaucoma, cataracts and even dry eyes.
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Eat a rainbow The right diet could help lower your risk of AMD, which is one of the most common causes of vision loss. The macula is the area at the back of your eye that is responsible for your central vision. “AMD doesn’t cause blindness because you don’t lose peripheral vision, but as it affects the centre of your sight it can affect your ability to see faces and drive, which could really affect your life,” says Francesca. Eating a diet packed with brightly-coloured fruits and vegetables could help to slow its progression and prevent it. Orange, yellow and green vegetables contain the highest levels of pigments called carotenoids, which help to absorb the damaging blue and near-ultraviolet lights that are thought to damage your macula. A US study found that a diet rich in leafy greens could reduce your risk of glaucoma too. The nitrates in greens are thought to improve blood flow to your eyes to keep them healthy.
YOU CAN
IMPROVE
YOUR
VISION Protect your eyes from the inside out
❙ eye care ❙
Beat dryness Pop a bit of butter or olive oil on your veg – carotenoids need fat to be absorbed properly
Take eye vitamins No matter how good your diet, it’s hard to get the big doses of eye nutrients that have been proven to help lower your risk of age-related macular degeneration (AMD). “You’d have to eat six cups of broccoli to get enough lutein, one of the key nutrients for your macula,” says optometrist Francesca Marchetti. “I’d definitely take a supplement if you have a family history of AMD. My mother had it, so I take a supplement regularly myself.” Use a supplement specially designed for eye health, such as Vitabiotics Visionace Max, £22.35/28 tablets or Ocuvite Lutein, £8.99/60 capsules.
Dry eyes is a common condition that occurs when you don’t have enough tears to lubricate your eyes. Hormones, ageing, certain medical conditions and some medications can cause dry eyes. “It’s a condition you’ll really notice if you wear contact lenses because you may find that you can no longer bear to wear them,” says Francesca. “Even if you’re not a contact lens wearer, you may notice redness, itching, burning and general dryness.” You can combat the problem with some moisturising eye drops containing sodium hyaluronate, which help to hold in moisture, such as Optrex Intensive Eye Drops £4.99/10ml. “Try using a heavier drop at night too, so it will stay in your eyes longer and can get working while you sleep,” says Francesca. Try Artelac Nighttime Gel £4.99/10g. “Speak to your optometrist too, to make sure you’re using the right drop for you because they all contain slightly different ingredients.” You can treat dry eyes from the inside out, too, by staying hydrated and making sure you’re getting plenty of omega-3 oils in your diet, from oily fish, nuts and seeds or by taking a supplement, such as Pharma Nord Omega 7 £18/60 capsules.
Testing times “Have an eye test every two to three years, or more if you’re at high risk of an eye condition such as glaucoma, or your optometrist recommends it,” says Francesca. NHS eye tests are free in Scotland, but in the rest of the UK, you can have a free eye test if you’re over 60, or over 40 and a parent or sibling has or had glaucoma. “It’s hard to notice vision loss developing yourself; while you think you’re fine, something could actually be going on that you’re not aware of,” says Francesca. “Most of us do the same things all the time, which may mean you rely less on having perfect eyesight, so might not pick up on problems. That’s why it’s vital to have regular checks.”
You can treat dry e ye s from the inside out too by staying hydrated and making sure you’re ge tting plenty of ome ga-3 oils in your die t
Exercise to keep your eyes healthy Regular exercise is good for your heart and, although it might not seem obvious, your eyes too. Like your heart, your eyes are affected by the narrowing and hardening of your arteries, high blood pressure and diabetes. These all affect the amount of blood that can reach your eyes, causing a lack of oxygen and nutrients, which could lead to sight problems in the future. Try to get some exercise for 30 minutes five times a week – brisk walking, swimming, cycling and dancing will all get your heart pumping and keep your arteries healthy.
Cycling is good for you and your eyes!
Turn the page for how to stay protected
Good to KNOW...
Help your precious pet
…stay in tip-top condition A few basic first-aid skills could make all the difference Meet our expert Emma Farrell is an International Technical Advisor for VetPlus
Meet our expert Jenny Philp is a veterinary surgeon and Managing Director for Pets’ Kitchen Ltd, www.vetskitchen.co.uk
Q What are the most common accidents? “Cats often get into fights which can lead to abscesses or puncture wounds,” says Jenny Philp, veterinary surgeon and Managing Director for Pets’ Kitchen Ltd. “Dogs are much more accident prone, in particular when it comes to eating things that they shouldn’t – dead animals, chocolate or their owner’s tablet! Another common accident for dogs is catching or ripping off new claws and overgrown nails.”
It’s also possible for dogs to hurt their mouths and throats on sticks that are thrown for them, so it’s recommended that owners use safe toys designed for pets when out and about.
Q Are there any common problems that can be treated at home? “If your pet has sickness or diarrhoea but seems well in itself, offer them a bland diet and monitor them for 24 hours,” says Jenny. “But if they seem unwell, are unable to keep water down or their condition hasn’t improved after 24 hours they will need to be checked over.”
Q What should I do if my pet seems to be overheating? “If your pet is showing signs of heat stress – excessive panting and salivating, weakness or collapsing – then you need to get them to your nearest vet immediately,” says Emma. “If they seem well enough in themselves but you’d like to cool them down, pop a wet towel over bigger animals and open the windows,” says Jenny. “Smaller animals can be more tricky to keep cool, so try to ventilate the room with a fan while spraying fine water mist over them.” Avoid getting water in your pet’s eyes .
Q What should I do if I suspect my pet has a broken leg? “Call ahead to your vet surgery to help the team prepare for your arrival,” says Emma Farrell, International Technical Advisor for VetPlus. “As your pet is likely to be distressed and sore, it’s best to hold them gently to support them and the affected leg, taking care not to touch the broken leg. Even the gentlest animals can become aggressive when in pain, so use your common sense to avoid a bite. “Giving them your painkillers is not a good idea, as many human drugs can be toxic to animals.”
A FIRST AID KIT FOR PETS
✢ Sterile saline wash – useful for flushing out minor wounds and for washing out their eyes if they have debris or smoke in them. ✢ Water – if you’re taking your dog out,
make sure to pack water for rehydration, soothing burns, washing off toxins, soaking a paw or cooling them down. ✢ Bandages – gauze material can be used to help control bleeding and keep wounds clean until they can be treated by the vet. ✢ Blanket/towel – use to keep your pet warm and combat shock. ✢ Non-latex disposable
gloves – wear while dealing with an injury to reduce contamination. ✢ Tweezers – useful for removing thorns from paws. ✢ Medications – if your pet is on regular medication, it’s wise to keep a small amount in a first aid box. ✢ Contact details for your local vet – so you can call them in the event of an emergency or for some advice.
‘The most important thing to do is stay calm and encourage your pet to do the same... animals look to us for guidance’
“Don’t let yourself get injured as well,” says Jenny. “A good tip to break up a fight is to throw water over the dogs, which will stun them and give you a few seconds to separate them. “Get the contact details of the other dog’s owner if possible, in case of insurance claims,” says Emma, “then take your dog to the vet as soon as possible. Even if there appears to be no obvious bite wounds, these can be hidden (particularly in thickcoated breeds) or there could even be internal injuries.”
Q What should I do if my dog is choking? “Small dogs can be picked up directly underneath their chest, as this forces air into
their airways,” says Jenny. “For larger dogs, stand over them placing a hand either side of their chest and clap once. Then take them to the vet to be checked over immediately.”
Q What should I do if my pet has eaten something toxic? “Seek advice from your vet over the phone as soon as possible,” says Jenny. “If it’s appropriate to make the animal sick, this must be done within one hour to be effective.” If you have to take your pet to the surgery, try to take a sample (or even the packaging) from whatever it has eaten to show to the vet.
For more top tips for pet owners, visit www.yours.co.uk/pets
Q What if I find it difficult to get to the vet? “Speak to your vet before any problems arise, so you know what to do in an emergency,” says Emma. “They may be able to offer home visits, or have details of a local pet ambulance or taxi service that can take you to the surgery if needed.”
Q What’s the most useful first aid skill to learn? “As a general rule, the most important thing for you to do is to stay calm, and encourage your pet to do the same,” says Emma. “Animals look to us for guidance, and if we seem relaxed and calm they will respond to this.” ✢ NEXT ISSUE Tips and advice on how we can overcome shyness YOURS
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PICS: ALAMY; GETTY IMAGES
Q What should I do if my dog is attacked?
Cluster cushion This stylish design will brighten up any sitting room
FOR KNITTERS WITH SOME EXPERIENCE
★★★
PATTERN NOTES:
Yours
TRIED & TESTED
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The great thing about a knitted cushion is that it can add texture as well as colour to a room. To do the clusters you knit a group of six stitches onto a double-pointed needle, wind the yarn around them, then slide them off the other end of the needle. This means that you will need a double-pointed needle that is the same size as your normal knitting needles (rather than a cable needle) to ensure that the stitches are the right size and that the cushion comes out neatly and the clusters stay intact.
Yarn quantities are based on average requirements when specified tension and yarn is used. Different wool may be used but ensure tension of replacement yarn matches that stated in the pattern for best results. If necessary change the needle size to give the correct tension.
❙ knitting ❙
MEASUREMENTS To fit cushion pad 40cm (16in) square
MATERIALS • 2x100g (3½in) skeins of Mrs Moon Plump super-chunky yarn in Gooseberry Fool (MC) • 2x100g (3½in) skeins of Mrs Moon Plump super-chunky yarn in Damson Jam (CC) • Pair 10mm (UK 000) knitting needles • 1x10mm (UK 000) double-pointed needle • 40cm (16in) square cushion pad • Large-eyed sewing needle
TENSION 10 sts and 10 rows = 10cm/4in square over st-st using 10mm needles.
CUSHION BACK ABBREVIATIONS Beg - beginning; CC - contrast wool colour; cm - centimetres; DK - double knitting; foll - following; in - inch(es); inc - increase(ing); k – knit; MC - main wool colour; mm - millimeters; p - purl; rep repeat; RS - right side; st(s) - stitch(es); st-st – stocking stitch (knit RS rows, purl WS rows); WS - wrong side. CL6 = cluster 6 – knit next 6 stitches onto a double-pointed needle, wrap yarn around the stitches made (just underneath where they are held on the needle), slip stitches one at a time to the right-hand needle.
CUSHION FRONT In MC, cast on 42 sts. Row 1 (RS): p2, *k2, p2; rep from * to end. Row 2 and all even-numbered rows: k2, *p2, k2; rep from * to end. Row 3: P2, *CL6, p2; rep from * to end. Row 5: As row 1. Row 7: P2, k2, p2, *CL6, p2; rep from * to last 4 sts, k2, p2. Row 8: As row 2. Rep rows 1–8, 5 more times, then rep rows 1-4 once more. Cast off in patt. At this stage, the cushion front will look much longer and narrower than your cushion pad but have faith – once stretched across the pad it should fit perfectly.
You can repeat the front design if you would like. Alternatively, cast on 42 stitches and work in st-st until the work measures 41cm (16½in), then cast off.
TO MAKE UP Weave in the ends – first, neatly sew the top and bottom edges together. You will need to stretch the front piece across the back to make them the same width, so pin it first to make sure that you stretch it evenly. Use backstitch to sew it up – this seam is worked on the wrong side so work about one stitch in from the edge and pin the two pieces to be joined right sides together. Thread a knitter’s sewing needle with a long length of yarn and secure it on the back, at the right-hand end of the seam. Bring the needle through both layers to the front, then take it back through both layers a sewn stitch-length to the left. Pull the yarn through to make the first stitch.
Simple Chic Knits by Karen Miller and Susan Ritchie, published by CICO Books (£12.99). Photography by Penny Wincer and Emma Mitchell© CICO Books
Bring the needle to the front a sewn stitch-length to the left. Put it in where it last came out, then bring it to the front two sewn stitch lengths to the left and pull the yarn through. Repeat to sew the seam tight. Once these two seams are done, backstitch one side seam before stuffing the cushion pad inside. Sew the last side seam using a mattress stich – thread a knitter’s sewing needle with a long length of yarn. From the back bring the needle up between the first and second stitches of the left-hand piece, immediately above the cast-on edge. Take it across to the righthand piece, and from the back bring it through between the first and second stitches of that piece, immediately above the cast-on edge. Take it back to the left-hand piece and, again from the back, bring it through one row above where it first came through, between the first and second stitches. Pull the yarn through and this figure-ofeight will hold the cast-on edges level. Take the needle across to the right-hand piece and, from the front, take it under the bars of yarn between the first and second stitches on the next two rows up. Take the needle across to the left-hand piece and, from the front, take it under the bars of yarn between the first and second stitches on the next two rows up. When you have sewn about 2.5cm (1in), gently and evenly pull the stitches tight to close the seam. Refer to ball band for washing and further care instructions.
Yours tip: Be sure to choose a washable cushion pad because it can’t be removed after making up. Stockists: Mrs Moon yarns can be ordered from www.mrsmoon.co.uk
✢ NEXT ISSUE Knit this adorable baby cardigan, perfect for cool spring days YOURS
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mfrom y lessons life… T’Pau singer Carol Decker, 58, chats about life, loyalty and the real meaning of success
I learned my work ethic and tenacity from Dad. He was a group controller for Tesco and always working. He was also a fantastic pianist; a semi-pro who played in clubs and trained at Liverpool School of Music. Mum was a really good singer. She’d been a pools clerk and one of The Littlewoods’ Songsters, a big choir always on TV. I got lots of encouragement. They always said, ‘If you want this to happen, you can do it.’
✢ Be honest, fair and loyal... …that’s my life philosophy. And look after family and friends. I pride myself on not being a diva. I’m not interested in being rude to people, I’m a cheerleadertype who says, ‘Let’s make this happen!’ Mum was ferociously loyal, but quite unforgiving. I’m a mix of cheery Scouser and unforgiving Mafioso. Once crossed, I find it difficult to forget.
✢ Get out of your own way... That’s the best advice I’ve ever been given. Usually, it’s you that’s in your way: your attitude, your fears, your misgivings, your bad habits. It’s you that’s holding you back. I try to practise this, but I don’t always get it right. 146
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Carol with T’Pau in the Eighties. Right: With hubby, Richard
✢ Appreciate success My proudest career achievement is T’Pau going to No.1 for five weeks with China in Your Hand. Going to No.4 in the US with Heart & Soul was huge, too. All of a sudden we were massively in demand. I only recently stopped seeing myself as a failed pop star, though. You define yourself by that one shining moment and, if you never repeat it, you feel you’ve failed. It took me a long time to realise what I’d achieved was fantastic. Nearly 30 years later, I’m still very busy. Recently I took the roof off the London Hippodrome. I must’ve done something right!
✢ Don’t compromise love A relationship is like a living organism: it ebbs and flows. You
have good times and bad and you have to really love someone to go through the bad times. I’ve loved a couple of men deeply in my life: my husband Richard, who I’ve been with for 18 years, and my bandmate Ronnie Rogers. After I broke up with Ronnie I got into a relationship where I compromised just to have somebody the other side of the bed because I didn’t know how to be alone. I had no sense of myself anymore. That is when I learned.
✢ Children are a blessing I never planned on having children, but was so blessed to have two great ones: Scarlett, 17, and Dylan, 13. Mum used to say: ‘You’ll not understand until you hold your own baby,’ and she was so right!
WHAT MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE TODAY? The ordinariness of my childhood propelled me to have an extraordinary life. My parents taught me I could have an extraordinary life so I worked hard to make it happen. ✢ Heart and Soul by Carol Decker (A Way With Media, £16.95) is out now. Carol’s Songs & Stories – an evening of music and chat – is currently touring the UK. See www.tpau.co.uk for details. ✢ Carol was speaking to Katherine Hassell
PICS: PA PHOTOS; REX SHUTTERSTOCK; ALAMY
✢ Encouragement makes a difference