By Angela Court hen Sue Elliott was given her adoption papers her life changed forever. She was 39 and, while she had always known that she was adopted in 1951 by social worker Tom Elliott and his wife Anne, seeing them hand over the yellowing papers displaying her real name – Gillian Heppelthwaite – had a huge impact on her. “It suddenly hit me that I was someone else before I became me,” says Sue. “I wondered what I would have been like if I’d stayed as Gillian. I’d always felt wanted and loved by my adoptive parents who, when I was young, told me I’d been chosen because my real mum was unable to look after me. Back then I used to wonder whether she was a princess – I suppose I created a fantasy figure in my head. But holding the adoption papers and seeing her name – Marjorie Heppelthwaite – made her finally seem real.” At that point in 1990, Sue, who lives in Ealing with her partner Bevan, decided to contact Marjorie. She discovered there was just one Marjorie Heppelthwaite listed in the telephone directory, living a few miles away in London. “It was strange seeing the name in black and white,” says Sue. “I could have phoned her, but thought it might shock Marjorie to hear from
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‘How I found my two sisters!’
Adopted as a baby, Sue Elliott tells the moving story of meeting her birth mother – and the family she never knew she had
Sue’s birth mother Marjorie
Reunited: Sue, centre, with the sisters she didn’t know existed Fiona, left, and Hazel YOURS
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Adopted by different families, from left Fiona, Hazel and Sue had no idea they had sisters
babies. When I told her about Fiona, she said, ‘I thought you’d think badly of me,’ as the reason for not telling me. The shame Marjorie had felt so long ago was still with her. “During the next few years the three of us met regularly. Fiona and I used to joke with Marjorie asking how many more children did she have and she would say, ‘eight!’ Before she died, aged 79, she said that finding us had made a huge difference to her life and it was comforting to know we had made her happy.” However, later when another letter arrived, Sue sensed it was about a third sibling. “By now I took the view – the more, the merrier,” she says. Shortly afterwards Sue and Fiona met Hazel Staniforth, another of Marjorie’s daughters. Hazel is 53, and lives in Sheffield. “It was an emotional meeting,” says Sue. “But the three of us formed a strong bond and realised that we must all have different fathers because we don’t look a bit alike. Nowadays we keep in touch and enjoy spending time together. “I wish I’d asked Marjorie more about her past but I don’t have any regrets and I don’t think badly of her. She appears to have been drawn to the wrong type of men and it’s sad that she never got the chance to be a mum. However, I set out to find my mum, never dreaming I ✢ Love Child would also discover by Sue Elliott two sisters. I couldn’t is published by have wished for a Vermilion, £6.99 happier ending.” PIC: TERI PENGILLEY/UNP
me. I was also wary of rejection; she might not want to speak to me, or perhaps would claim she knew nothing about me. I had to prepare myself for both scenarios and decided the best way forward was to ask someone unconnected with my family to make contact.” Sue, now 62, asked a friend to help trace Marjorie through social services. She was later told that Marjorie would like to hear from her so eventually, with heart beating fast, she called... And she’ll never forget the words that greeted her. ‘I’m so glad you’ve found me.’ Soon after
the two women met at Sue’s house where they had an emotional reunion. “We hugged for ages and I was instantly drawn to Marjorie, although we didn’t look alike,” says Sue. “She was warm and open and we got on well. I learned that my father was a married man whom she’d met at work. He wouldn’t leave his wife and in the Fifties there was a huge stigma attached to unmarried mothers. ‘I was desperate to bring you home,’ she said. But Marjorie’s father had forbidden it, so she had no choice but to give me up for adoption.” Sue and Marjorie began seeing each other regularly, then in a new twist two years later, Sue received a letter saying another woman thought that Marjorie was her mother, too. “I felt betrayed. I’d built up a loving relationship with Marjorie and couldn’t understand why she hadn’t told me I had a sister. It never occurred to me to ask about siblings and I was angry she’d kept something so important from me.” Without telling Marjorie, Sue arranged to meet the woman – Fiona Boorman. “I’d never had a sister, and felt excited about meeting her. Fiona was equally upbeat and we were ecstatic at finding each other. We talked for ages and felt a connection. Fiona, now 57, lives in Surrey, and I arranged for her to meet Marjorie. By now my anger had subsided and I could only feel sadness that Marjorie had been forced to give up two
❙ real life ❙
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Style
Discov e natural
notes
Going natural with your beauty routine could help you beat the signs of ageing
By Beauty Editor, Michelle Nightingale
Meet our expert
Dr Andrea Mitarotonda heads the Neal’s Yard Remedies Research & Development department helping to create the brand’s award-winning natural and organic cosmetic range.
natural beauty routine could help you to look younger without the use of nasty chemicals. “Organic ingredients are the most effective, pure and beneficial. No other ingredients contain higher levels of antioxidants, minerals, essential amino acids and vitamins,” explains Dr Andrea Mitarotonda. But finding products that are truly as natural as they claim is no easy task, so here’s our handy guide to finding the very best.
A
4 reasons to go organic ✢ Some scientists claim we absorb up to 60 per cent of what we put onto our skin. While that figure is quite controversial, your skin isn’t impermeable and some chemicals will inevitably make it into your bloodstream.
✢ Lots of synthetic-based anti-ageing creams use powerful natural ingredients to provide the anti-ageing element. By choosing organic products you can harness this power, without the addition of unnecessary chemicals.
near the bottom
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✢ Neal’s Yard Remedies Frankincense
Nourishing Cream, £21.25/50g A rich moisturiser containing frankincense and myrrh, great at helping rejuvenate dry skin and reducing fine lines. A good organic brand choice too, as many of the products are clinically tested.
✢ Skin Revivals Organic Facial Cleansing Oil,
✢ Organic skincare products contain less, if any, ingredients that are likely to ✢Organic beauty trigger allergies products contain and skin problems organically grown Did you such as eczema, ingredients know? whereas without Beauty product synthetic pesticides and ingredients are listed in products are nasty fertilisers, quantity order, so those near the top of the list more likely so are better for are present in larger to cause the environment, quantities than those irritation. too. 40
Our top natural skincare buys
£12/100ml Gentle and light, this oil may look simple but it contains rosehip and avocado for beautifully soft skin. It’s certified 99 per cent organic.
✢ Therapi Honey Skincare Rose Otto Ultra Radiance Cream, £35/50ml Honey is rich in vitamins, antioxidants and is a natural humectant, which means it helps attract and retain moisture. It also contains rosehip oil and shea butter, with 99 per cent certified organic ingredients. A percentage of profits is given to bee conservation projects. ✢ Green People Age Defy+ Line Eraser Lip & Eye Serum, £18.95/10ml Firms in just 15 minutes and contains 23 beauty enhancing elements that work to reduce deep wrinkles long-term, improve skin elasticity and hydration. Certified 95 per cent organic with research to back its claims.
v er your al beauty Chemical ingredients to avoid…
foaming agent, which can irritate your skin. Check your shower gel and shampoo and you’re likely to find it listed near the top. Parabens ✗ Some people prefer to avoid parabens because in the past they’ve been linked to breast cancer, although there’s little research to back this up. Lots of companies are seeking alternatives though, so if you do want to go paraben free there are lots of options.
✗
Alcohol Alcohol dries your skin and can cause free radical damage, which could contribute to the ageing process. Look for ethanol, ethyl alcohol, alcohol denat, isopropyl alcohol, methanol and benzyl alcohol on labels and make sure they’re listed near the bottom.
Diethanolamine (DEA), ✗ monoethanolamine (MEA), triethanolamine (TEA) These are often used to balance the PH levels in products or to help them lather. There’s
Did you know? An organic certified product is natural, but a natural product is not necessarily organic. To be certified organic, producers must use a certain amount of organic certified ingredients
mixed thinking on this group of ingredients as they’re mostly used in very low levels, however some experts believe they’re potentially carcinogenic and have linked them to liver and kidney damage.
Saintly swaps…
Frankincense ✔ Frankincense helps improve skin tone and texture. It’s a potent anti-ageing ingredient and works to reduce the appearance of fine lines and even scars.
Many brands are guilty of ‘greenwashing’, when they label products natural and organic, when they only contain a very small amount of plant extract within a conventional formula. To avoid this, look for recognised logos from organisations such as the Soil Association and COSMOS, which certify products are natural and organic.
Rosehip oil ✔ With its combination of fatty acids and antioxidants, rosehip oil helps heal skin and encourage regeneration. It’s also thought to be effective for reducing the appearance of age spots. Coconut oil ✔ Provides deep down intense hydration. Conventional moisturisers often contain a high percentage of water, which only gives short-term hydration. Coconut oil provides long-lasting moisturising benefits and could help strengthen your skin’s surface.
Shea butter ✔ Shea butter is perfect for mature skin. It’s high in Vitamins E, D and A and essential fatty acids, which stimulate collagen, encourage skin regeneration and tackle fine lines.
STOCKISTS: Green People 01403 740350 www.greenpeople.co.uk; Neal’s Yard Remedies 0845 262 3145 www.nealsyardremedies.com; Skin Revivals available from Beauty Naturals 0800 980 6665 www.beautynaturals. com; Therapi available from Content 0203 0751006 www.beingcontent.com Details correct at time of going to press
e Anti-ageing fac you masks tested for
mise to Face masks prolook and feel make your skin ch ones really younger, but whi ce? do make a differen
Missed our feature on... Anti-ageing face masks?
Read it now at
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Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (SLS ✗ and SLES) A common cleansing and
Look for logos
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Style notes
Gill wears: Pink frockcoat, £39.99, 10-29, Bonprix; jeans, £35, 6-24, M&S; bag, £19.50, Jones Bootmaker Michele wears: Coat, £69, 8-22; top, £19.50, s-xl; necklace, £15, all M&S; jeans, £26, 8-20, Bhs
20gorgeous SPRING coats… Stay stylish whatever the weather!
By Fashion Editor, Michelle Nightingale
✢ Marylebone mac, £129, 6-22, Boden
✢ Shower and creaseresistant belted mac, £49.50, 6-22, M&S
PETITE RANGE
✢ Stone mac, £38, 8-20, Bhs 42
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GREAT VALUE PRICE
CLASSIC CHOICE
SHOWER PROOF ✢ Long-line jacket, £40, 6-22, Limited Edition F&F, Tesco
✢ Military-style jacket, £74, 8-24, South at Littlewoods.com
✢ Beige casual mac, £49, 10-24, Savoir at Isme
✢ Trench coat, £30, 8-22, Tu at Sainsbury’s
✢ Pink trench coat, £75, 6-22, La Redoute
✢ Navy spot mac, £75, 6-22, La Redoute
✢ White short trench coat, £55, 6-22, La Redoute
✢ Blue trench coat, £35, 10-24, Savoir at Isme
✢ Rainy day mac, £119, 6-22, Boden
✢ Stripe trench coat, £129, 6-22, Boden
SEASON COLOUR TREND ✢ Monochrome stripe coat, £40, 8-22, Tu at Sainsbury’s
✢ Red mac, £60, 6-22 regular, petite, tall, Next
STOCKISTS: Bhs 0844 411 6000 www.bhs.co.uk; Boden 0844 873 0000 www.boden.co.uk; Bonmarché 0845 202 4490; F&F 0800 323 4070; Isme 0844 811 8112 www.isme.com; Jones Bootmaker 0800 163 519; La Redoute 0844 842 2222 www. laredoute.co.uk; Littlewoods.com 0844 822 8000 www.littlewoods.com; M&S 0845 609 0200; Matalan 0845 330 3330 www.matalan.co.uk; Next 0844 844 8939 www.next.co.uk; Tu 0800 636 262. Details correct at time of going to press
EASY TO PACK
WEEKEND CASUAL CHOICE ✢ Spring parka, £110, 6-22, Boden
✢ Lightweight parka, £40, 12-24, Bonmarché
✢ Pink duster coat, £40, 8-20, Matalan
✢ NEXT ISSUE Key spring buys we want!
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PHOTOGRAPHY RUTH JENKINSON; STYLIST JO WINCH; HAIR AND MAKE-UP SARAH JANE GREEN.
WEAR COLLAR UP OR DOWN
Good to KNOW... | IT’S A FACT | Buckingham Palace’s electricity bill was £312,000 and gas racked up £462,000 last year. GoCompare reckons the Queen’s household could save more than £48,000 a year by switching to cheaper providers. That’d be a few extra treats for the Corgis!
Cash in the attic Many novelty-shaped glass sommerso pieces were produced in the Fifties. Italian glassmaker Murano is best known for this type of multi-coloured, multi-layered sommerso, meaning ‘submerged’ glass. Smaller pieces were mass-produced as souvenirs. The larger, more refined pieces were produced in smaller numbers and more vulnerable to damage, making them scarcer and therefore more valuable today. The more charming and colourful the novelties are, the greater their appeal. Typical Murano novelties include glass eggs (less than £100), egg-timers (£150-£200) and animals. This Fifties Murano sommerso swan (37cm high) is valued at £150-£200.
| DID YOU KNOW? | is the typical amount we’ll spend on a main holiday this year. One in six savvy savers has put money away year-round to afford a summer getaway.
£836
BUDGET BEATERS
WATCHING THE
Parents whose children have a child trust fund (CTF) will be allowed to transfer the money into a junior ISA (JISA) from April 2015. “Cash JISAs offer better rates, in some cases as much as double CTF offerings,” says Anna Bowes at Savingschampion.co.uk. Up to £3,720 yearly can be paid into a JISA (£3,840 from April).
PENNIES BEST BUY
Want to be more confident with cash? Help is at hand with new book, The Wealthy Woman – A Man is Not a Financial Plan (rrp £12.99, Amazon.co.uk or bookshops) by Mary Waring. ✢ We have ten books to give away; simply write to ‘Wealth book giveaway’ at the usual address by March 21, 2014 . If you do not EXTRA want to be contacted in the future FOR YOU by Yours please write ‘No Further Contact’ clearly on the postcard YOURS
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From April, energy suppliers must let customers know the cheapest offers available, personalised for individual consumers on all their bills and annual statements, says Ofgem HOW TO…
PROTECT YOUR PET Eight million pets in the UK don’t have insurance. If a cat or dog falls ill or is injured, the cost without cover could run into hundreds, even thousands of pounds. For example, cruciate ligament surgery costs £4,000, says GoCompare. Unless you can cover the cost, pet insurance is the answer. There are two budget options: accidentonly – which provides a fixed sum of money for each accidental injury – and a 12-month policy which has a per-condition limit and time limit before the condition is excluded. But compare quotes using comparison websites for all policies so you’re not missing out on a better deal.
Cash saver
The £50 banknote featuring the portrait of Sir John Houblon, the first ever governor of the Bank of England, is to be withdrawn from circulation on April 30. After then, shops and businesses will stop accepting the Houblon notes. Barclays, NatWest, the Post Office, RBS and Ulster Bank will exchange Houblon £50 notes – up to the value of £200 – until 30 October. ✢ Who would you like to see on a bank note? Write and let us know!
Deal of the day Shopping
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Deal of the day! For the latest offers...
GREEN WATCH
Water bills in England and Wales will go up by two per cent on average from April 1. The increase means average bill rises of £8, taking them to £393 yearly per household, says Water UK. If there are fewer people in your house than bedrooms then you could save money by switching to a meter. You can switch back to unmeasured charging within 12 months if you find you’re not saving. Use the Consumer Council for Water’s calculator www.ccwater.org.uk/ watermetercalculator to see if it’s worthwhile.
Visit
Meet our expert Michael Wilson is a consumer champion and runs the Insurance Complaints Bureau. He can be contacted on mjw@ insurance-complaints.co.uk
Q My family were talking about funerals and it got me wondering if I need to take out a specific kind of funeral plan. What do you think? Michael says: I had a word with Kate Woodthorpe of Bath University, as they had been doing some research on this. “For some people, putting a funeral plan in place is important in terms of certainty. Other people appreciated the flexibility of savings, although these could be vulnerable if their circumstances changed. The most important thing is that people do something, however small, to address funeral costs.” I know some people have estimated how much a funeral will cost and have opened a separate deposit account to make sure the money is available. Of course, if you’re likely to leave a sizeable estate, it might not really be all that important to make special provision, because the executors of your will can simply pay the costs out of the estate. One advantage of a funeral plan is that, to some extent, it will provide protection from escalating costs. Money in a deposit account will hardly grow at all these days, whereas a good funeral plan will buy a funeral at the level you select – and there should be no inflationary increases. A funeral plan will typically provide a funeral in excess of £3,000 at today’s prices. Which have carried out a comparison, visit www.which.co.uk ✢ If you have a query about your finances, write to Michael at the address on p3. We love to receive your questions, but can’t promise to reply to all correspondence
✢ NEXT ISSUE How to get your money back when a holiday has to be cancelled
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WORDS: SARAH JAGGER. BEFORE MAKING ANY FINANCIAL DECISIONS, IT’S ALWAYS WISE TO CONSULT AN AUTHORISED PROFESSIONAL ADVISER PICS: ALAMY; SHUTTERSTOCK, MILLERSONLINE.COM
| IT’S A FACT |
Ask Michael
5 fresh salad ideas Who said salad for one was boring? Try these exciting recipes, full of tasty goodness
All recipes serve one
Top Tip Sainsbury’s do a Sicilian-style sausage and you can get Italian Recipe Sausages from Waitrose, too
Spicy Italian Sausage, Tomato and Bean Salad Italian sausages are avoured with fennel, garlic, red wine, and sometimes chilli Preparation time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 5 minutes
n 1 Italian sausage n 75g (3oz) cannellini beans n 75g (3oz) cherry tomatoes, halved n ½ mild red chilli, sliced 80
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and deseeded n 2 large salad tomatoes, sliced n Salt and pepper n 1 tbsp chilli tomato dressing n Handful rocket leaves 1. Remove the casing from the sausage, keeping the meat and discarding the
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Serves 1
skin. Heat a small frying pan, and dry-fry the sausage meat for 5 minutes, until golden brown and cooked through. 2. Add the cannellini beans to the pan and cook for 1 minute. 3. Add the cherry tomatoes and chilli to the pan and cook for another minute.
Per serving 352 cals
Fat 22.2g
Sat fat 5.8g
Remove the pan from the heat and set to one side. 4. On a large plate, arrange the sliced salad tomatoes, overlapping to cover the base of the plate, and season well. Spoon over the sausage and tomato mix. Drizzle with chilli tomato dressing and garnish with rocket leaves.
Food
notes
Panzanella Salad
Serves 1
Panzanella is a Tuscan salad of bread and tomatoes
Per serving 223 cals
Fat 9.9g
Sat fat 1.1g
Preparation time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 15 minutes
n ½ a red and ½ a yellow pepper, deseeded and thinly sliced n 4 cherry tomatoes, halved n 2 slices ciabbatta bread, cubed n ¼ tsp olive oil n Salt and pepper n ½ red onion, thinly sliced n 40g (1½oz) Italian salad leaves n 1 tbsp balsamic dressing n Handful of torn basil 1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/400°F/Gas Mark 6. Place the sliced peppers, cherry tomatoes and ciabatta cubes onto a baking tray. Drizzle with the olive oil and season to taste. Toss well to coat all of the
ingredients and separate the croutons to one side of the baking tray. Cook for 10 minutes, remove the croutons and set to one side. Return the peppers and tomatoes to the oven for a further 5 minutes. 2. In a large bowl add the sliced red onion and salad leaves and mix well. Add the cooked peppers and tomatoes, and balsamic dressing. 3. Arrange dressed salad on a large Top Tip plate. Garnish Swap to extra virgin with croutons, olive oil to really help torn basil, bring out the taste of and extra of the peppers and dressing if tomatoes desired. Serve straight away.
Recipes © PizzaExpress These PizzaExpress salad dressings are available from selected Sainsbury’s, Asda, Tesco, Morrisons and Waitrose stores, rrp £1.99
Griddled Sweet Potato and Prosciutto Salad
Serves 1
Per serving 265 cals
Fat 12.9g
Sat fat 1.8g
Prosciutto is an Italian specialty – deliciously dry cured ham that tastes just divine Preparation time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 6 minutes
n n n n n n n
½ sweet potato, peeled 2 slices prosciutto ham 40g (1½oz) spinach 2 tbsp chickpeas 2 small radishes, thinly sliced Handful of torn basil 1 tbsp basil pesto dressing
1. Thinly slice the sweet potato into 6 slices. Cut each slice of ham into 3 pieces and wrap each sweet potato slice in the ham. 2. Heat a griddle pan until hot. Place the wrapped sweet potato into the pan and cook for 3 minutes on each side. 3. Meanwhile place the spinach, chickpeas,
radishes and basil into a large bowl. Add the basil pesto dressing and gently toss to coat. 4. Arrange the dressed salad on a large plate. Top with griddled sweet potato and prosciutto. Serve with extra dressing if desired. YOURS
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❙ star chat ❙
My lessons from life…
Actor Martin Shaw talks about living for the day, the wonders of being a grandfather and his starring role in12 Angry Men ✢ Being a grandparent is the most wonderful thing
That’s what I’d like to change about myself and it’s what I’m aiming for. The answer to being peaceful is not reacting – it’s just allowing things to be as they are rather than hanging onto things from the past or looking forward into the future of what might be.
I have four amazing grandchildren and I absolutely love it! You always miss the times when your own children were very young, but with grandchildren you get to have it all over again.
✢ The law is endlessly fascinating… I’ve played barristers and lawyers over the years and think being involved in that world would be very exciting. At the moment I’m playing a juror in the stage version of 12 Angry Men in the West End – and that’s incredibly interesting, too. On the other hand, I’ve never had any interest in being a policeman like George Gently, it’s just too dangerous!
✢ The Professionals didn’t do a great deal for my career The show made me famous but that whole rock star thing kind of cancelled out all the work I’d done before at the National Theatre with Laurence Olivier, and the other TV dramas I’d done. For several years afterwards I was mainly offered ‘Action Man’ roles and I’m not that kind of actor.
✢ I had a special bond with Lewis Collins The last time I saw Lewis was 20 years ago when we had a very nice farewell dinner just before he moved to Los Angeles. We may not have stayed in
touch – except Christmas cards – but there was a special bond between us because we spent four years working together on The Professionals.
✢ George Gently makes me feel nostalgic for the Sixties Everyone looks back and thinks ‘the good old days’, and in some ways, they were – we had a real countryside then and I think anyone who treasures British heritage must mourn the fact that it’s shrinking at an alarming rate. But on the other hand, look at the advances that have been made in science and medicine since then.
✢ Lead by example – actions speak louder than words The best advice is to inspire people to imitate you. All my three children have become actors but I’ve never actually sat down and advised them to do that. I hope the way they see me live my life has maybe helped them in some way.
✢ To catch up on the latest series of Inspector George Gently check out BBC iPlayer. ✢ Twelve Angry Men is playing at the Garrick Theatre, London, until March 15. ✢ Martin was talking to Alison James.
WHAT MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE TODAY? Martin with the late Lewis Collins in The Professionals and right, with daughter Sophie YOURS
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I wish I knew the answer to that. I honestly don’t know but I guess it can only be a combination of good fortune and the influence of Sant Mat, the spiritual path I have followed for many years. It gives me the ability to accept what happens in life.
PICS: REX FEATURES, CAMERA PRESS/NIGEL NORRINGTON, PAUL STUART
✢ It’s good to be more tolerant of things as you get older