4 minute read
Men's mental health
HEAR HIS VOICE
Don't make him suffer in silence. Let’s end the stigma around male mental illness.
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By Ava Farrelly
The distressing yet unsurprising fact that three quarters of UK suicides recorded in 2017 alone were male suicides raises the question; why are men still struggling so much to admit when they need help?
In this day and age, the issue of poor mental health is on the tip of everyone’s tongue. It’s a problem that almost everyone has experienced, be it first-hand or through the struggles of those close to us. Mental illness seems to be a topic that a lot of us understand to a reasonable degree and are – in some capacity – comfortable discussing. We’ve never before found ourselves in a better position to reach out and lend a helping hand to those who need it. That said, we’re still far from breaking the stigma.
Lee Cambule works tirelessly to raise awareness for mental health issues, hosting public talks and publishing frequent blog posts with the intention of encouraging others to open up about their problems. Male mental illness is an issue that is currently in desperate need of attention, with 12.5% of UK men having been diagnosed with common mental health disorders and suicide being named as the biggest killer of men under the age of 35.
Cambule himself has suffered from depression since his early teens and has openly discussed his own gut-wrenchingly close encounters with suicide, which prompted his passion for helping other men who are experiencing similar difficulties. Driven by his goal of fighting the stigma that still silences so many men when they need support most, he explains that the outdated belief that defines a man’s expression of emotion as an indication of weakness and lack of masculinity remains a massive obstacle for men while trying to speak out.
“I think a lot of the most common sources of poor mental wellbeing is about weakness. When men struggle with things like their finances or relationships, they perceive it as being a sign of weakness to talk about it and I think it’s about letting everyone know that it’s okay to have these feelings and it’s okay to feel weak sometimes.”
The phrase ‘man up’ is very possibly the most toxic expression used to shame men into putting on an ultra-masculine persona to mask their insecurities and hide their emotions, perpetuating the idea that the only option for men who are struggling emotionally is to bottle up their feelings and “just suck it up”. Cambule explains that this need to keep quiet and give off an illusion of emotional strength is a problem that men have carried with them throughout history, making them less comfortable opening up about their problems than women.
“A lot of it is in our DNA, I think. Men have been passed down through the ages this idea of being the breadwinner and the huntergatherer, all these very archaic ideals. It’s still trickling down through today’s society.
“I speak to a lot of people in the work I do who say how difficult it was because they never imagined their own father would open up to them, or that anyone they looked up to as a role model when they were younger would feel comfortable talking about these things,” he goes on to explain.
As our society moves slowly towards accepting and validating the emotions of men, Cambule praises celebrities of the 21st century for their role in bringing male mental illness to the forefront by allowing their own struggles to become publicly known, showing that even those who may seem invincible to the rest of us have their own battles to fight.
“There are a lot more high-profile male role models now. You see a lot of it in sports, for instance. There are a lot more professional footballers and people like that coming forward about their experience. I think Michael Phelps is a good example, he’s talking a lot about how depression has affected him and what it did to his career.”
While problems like depression and anxiety in males are becoming more widely recognised and accepted socially, there are still many more which are barely considered at all when it comes to looking out for the men in our lives. The issue of body image is one we typically associate with women, bombarded with countless images of the ‘ideal’ female body type and pressured by the media to idolise and live up to unrealistic, ridiculously unachievable beauty standards. Thankfully, hundreds of wonderful campaigns and social media movements exist to highlight the danger of these messages and help women to love the bodies they live in – but body image insecurities among men are often still disregarded entirely.
“We’re all part of the same human race. We’re all part of a society that looks on the image of an individual and makes judgements, unfortunately. It does look at you and the perception of you is based on how you look. There’s this misconception that it’s something that only women really care about, but actually men are as concerned about what other people think of them as women,” Cambule explains.
“You see so much on TV and in movies about the heroes and the good guys and they’re always the strongest and the best looking. I think at a young age particularly that sinks in very strongly for young people. It’s about teaching younger boys and young men that actually we’re all different and it’s okay to almost ignore the perfect image that’s represented in the media sometimes.”
Gym culture can add massively to the problem, pitting men against each other in an intense and competitive environment. Explaining that this natural rivalry can often lead to body insecurity and cause a serious lack of self-esteem, Cambule says that “if they’re not always the best at something or they’re not seen to be the best looking or the most athletic, their confidence wanes and that’s when things like anxiety and depression can really creep in and grab hold of you”.
During his mission to end the silence and inspire other men to take the first steps towards a healthier mind, Cambule has discovered a simple but effective solution which could potentially begin to help men overcome their difficulty coming forward and opening up about their hardships.
“Sometimes the best prompt is to know that other men are talking about it. It’s almost like a domino effect; once one person starts talking about it, others will start opening up and then they feel okay to talk about it. They just need that one person to be the first one before they realise that it’s safe for them to talk about how they’re feeling.”
