How To Let Go Of Resentment digitalbloggers.com /business/how-to-let-go-of-resentment May 26, 2017 44 views Written by Sergei VanBellinghen
Author Sergei VanBellinghen
Articles written: 139 Joined: 23 September 2016 Niche: Internet and Businesses Online Reference and Education Self Improvement
Once we feel like we have been treated unfairly, we generally get into a bitterness mode and shifting to let go of resentment becomes difficult. So, if you cannot remember the last time you actually felt overpowered by gratitude, joy, and freedom, then you may still have some resentments.
When you believe like someone has been treating you unjustly, you realize that you cannot rely on that person and that she has not your best interests at heart. So in turn, you stop trusting them. 1/4
But in the meantime, the cause of the problem keeps getting worse. It becomes a denial, and you refuse to forgive. Resentment is not dealt with because you create a wall which you use to protect yourself. You then hold onto resentment as a personal reminder to tell yourself that no one will ever do this to you again. You decide to close yourself off, and suddenly, this person becomes an enemy because you feel she treated you wrongly. You even presume that this individual may betray you again later on. It is entirely reasonable. The problem with resentment is that it has a way to make a substantial adverse impact on the present and obstruct your path towards the future. Even if nothing terrible happens, disbelief and doubt still occur when you have feelings of bitterness and resentment. But what if I tell you that there is a way to feel less bitter and reclaim control of your anger, disgust, fear and sadness? What if you were able to learn how to let go of resentment?
How Resentment Works The reality about resentment or almost anything negative in your existence is that it is often powered by countless moments of earlier experiences where you have been unconsidered, regarded unjustly and gotten your limits breached by others. Emotions such as anger, resentment, animosity, and fear are all interconnected. These feelings work by tricking you into a vicious cycle where you are angry in the present, scared of what is yet to come and full of resentment over the past. Resenting someone is when you have disappointed or saddened by another person or place because of an imaginary or actual injustice. You start thinking that if you forgive her, you would be somebody who can be walked on, which is wrong and pitiful. It takes a better and stronger person to forgive and let go than to be resentful. Resentments are like ‘ swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die’ which is a close statement when you think about it.
What You Should Not Do Acceptance plays an important part in letting go of resentment because if you cannot accept something, it means that you are resentful. Some of the reasons it is so difficult to get rid of such emotions, it is because too many people give the wrong advice on how to deal with them. It is easy for anyone to say to let it go, or just get over it, or forget about it or that the past is the past, but is this any kind of advice to you? You should not ignore resentments. Even if it makes you feel better somehow, it would be a wrong scenario to bury them deeply, try to forget them or pretend like you do not experience them. And yes, dealing with them is certainly easier said than done. You should know to overcome the resentments you have, and there is a process. As with many things, it may get worse before it gets better. It may require a lot of willpower and determination because they are often deep-rooted problems. Don’t expect a quick fix because you are embarking on an extensive and most possibly uncomfortable journey.
How to Let Go of Resentment 2/4
So, how do you let go of such a feeling? You should realize that if you are feeling bitter about something, you are thinking about the pain rather than focusing on the solution to get rid of it. It is the natural way for any human being to draw focus on a wound yet not healed. By making the decision to look on how to make your present or future different, you have to take a different course, positively, which will lead to better outcomes. When you learn how to act differently for the future, it has a curious side effect. You no longer feel powerless but free. Imagine a scenario where you were treated unfairly, observe, and then force yourself to find the silver lining about the experience. The people who do not feel pain from resentment are usually the ones who have learned to cope and understand it as an advantage instead of impairment. Watch this one minute video on how to let go of resentment by the great Tony Robbins .
More Ideas to Getting Rid of Resentment Face them. Make a list of all the people you have resentments towards. Nothing is too trivial or too small. Write down the cause for which you resent someone or something. Just be honest with the reasons, even if it does not make perfect sense. Understand which part of your life each of your resentments relates to and affects. Become aware of the exact ways that these resentments are impacting your life. Find a solution to contribute to the problem. Let go of secrets, fears, and lies which you have been holding onto. Share them with someone you trust. Burn the paper with the written resentfulness as a symbolic way of surrendering your emotions. These above tips may help you to no longer discard the feelings you have. The best part, this will cost you nothing, just a simple paper, and some ink. So you have nothing to lose. When you feel like you are treated wrongly, you inevitably add negative effect to the experience, and it causes you to suffer. Therefore, the best is to come to the realization of the damaging you can create if you feel resentful. You should learn how to let go of resentment and understand that it is not some evil reaction but rather a natural emotion you can deal with.
Sergei VanBellinghen, Founder & CEO of First-Class Lifestyle and sergeivanbellinghen.com, Success & Self-Improvement Consultant, Freedom entrepreneur & business partner of Stuart Ross, also counselor in East Europe-West relationships, a passionate Globetrotter and an avid audio booker
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