Easy Parenting Issue 48 (Apr/May 2019)

Ireland’s No.1 pregnancy & baby magazine ISSUE

48

Apr/May 2019

Expert Advice Just For You

Choosing Childcare dvice

must-read a

Embarrassing PREGNANCY SYMPTOMS EXPLAINED

Relieve

CO LI C YO U R BA BY ’S

Real l ife: Birth story & baby d iary

SICK KIDS AND WORK

HOW TO COPE

Boost your toddler’s speech development €2.90 – ROI

MS...

U M L A RE tions u

real sol

£2.70 – UK

its

no lim

s why nan tells u Rhona Culli never hold drome will Down Syn olly aughter M back her d

Ireland’s No.1 pregnancy & baby magazine ISSUE

48

Apr/May 2019

Expert Advice Just For You

Choosing Childcare must read advice

Real life: Birth story baby diary &

Boost your toddler’s speech development €2.90 – ROI

S...

REAL MUMions real solut

£2.70 – UK

no limits

tells us why Rhona Cullinan hold will never Down Syndrome Molly back her daughter

Apr / May 19 GROUP EDITOR Emma Parkin eparkin@zahramediagroup.com 01 287 8636 DIGITAL EDITOR Emily Elphinstone emily@zahramediagroup.com STAFF WRITER Elsje du Toit elsje@zahramediagroup.com HEAD OF SOCIAL Kate Gunn kgunn@zahramediagroup.com DESIGN Sarah Hamill, Rory Maguire and Rodrigo Maruso Image libraries Getty Images, Shutterstock ADVERTISING Sales Manager Regina Hinds rhinds@zahramediagroup.com 01 287 8633

T

here’s something for everyone in this issue of easy parenting. So find a comfy spot and get stuck in for a good read!

Choosing childcare for the first time can be so daunting, if you are trying to make decisions then head straight to p.22 to find out what you need to consider. Pregnant and feeling queasy?

Then make sure to read the great tips on treating morning sickness on p.26.

Get the lowdown on what you need to consider when buying your first car oter.

Nina having fun on her sco seat, p.30.

Arlene Harris looks at the rights of working parents when they need to take time off to care for sick kids. While Rhona Cullinan tells us why there are no limits for her beautiful daughter Molly, who has Down Syndrome. We hope you enjoy this issue; please tell us if you’d like us to cover any particular topics by emailing us at editor@easyparenting.ie.

ADMINISTRATION Production Consultant Val Citron valeriecitron@gmail.com Circulation Manager John Dempsey jdempsey@zahramediagroup.com

Emma Parkin Editor

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EASY FOOD ISSUE 138

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Trimesters at a glance Eating for two Staying active

Fresh flavours | Irish lamb | Seafood chowder | Easy Easter dining

LABOUR & BIRTH

The signs of labour Pain relief Breastfeeding

HOME AT LAST

Safe sleeping Postnatal health Bottom care

THE FIRST 12 MONTHS

Introducing solids Teething time Baby routines

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Meet our mums panel

CAROLINE MCGUIRE

KATE GUNN

NICHOLA CURRAN

GILLIAN BURKE

ARLENE HARRIS

TRACEY QUINN

easy parenting | 3

Contents

In th

94 S e kitch 96 B pringtime en aby-f bites r Crafts iendly recipes 100 C & activ heerf ities 101 C ul crocodile raz s pape y hair r plat e

April / May 2019

Regulars 06 Your Say

What you’ve been talking about

08 Parenting news Top tips and up-to-date news

11 Events calendar What’s on around the country

Pregnancy 14 Birth story Leah McCarthy shares the story of her son Cole’s birth

16 Maternity style Denim, and stripe style

20 Embarrassing pregnancy questions All of it, answered

22 Choosing childcare Tips and advice for first timers

25 Baby names

10 colourful name ideas

26 Morning sickness Diet, and lifestyle tips

30 Car seats

Top tips, and advice

Precious beginnings

36 What is gentle discipline?

Discipline, gentle parenting style

40 Soothe baby’s colic How give baby relief

43 Weaning time Introducing baby to solids

47 What to feed picky eaters Aileen Cox Blundell shares her tips for coping with fussy eaters

55 Nappy changing tips

All you need for baby’s bottom

58 Help your child’s speech Expert advice on speech development

60 Baby diary

Updates us on her baby Milla

62 The importance of play Why babies need to play

64 Vital vaccinations Protection and prevention

66 Baby clothes

53 Baby myths busted

We dispel the top baby myths 4 | easy parenting

82 Allergies: tips and solutions Prevent and soothe the symptoms

86 How to keep your home clean when you have pets Handy tricks to keep your home clean and fur free

92 Parenting truths Mum-of-two Geraldine Walsh talks about the many phases that kids go through

Keep your little one cosy this winter

68 No limits Rhona Cullinan tells us why Down Syndrome will never hold back her daughter Molly

71 Savvy swimmers The all round benefits of swimming

Just for you 74 Beauty The latest beauty products and tips

76 Fashion Try out some dreamy denims

78 The Newborn Identity An excerpt from Maria Boyle’s book

80 Good reads Parenting and lifestyle books

Experts panel 104 Fitness 106 Children’s development 108 Emotional health 110 Sex & relationships 111 Nutrition and diet 112 Babies and sleep 113 Childcare 114 Ask the midwife

Meet our experts TRACY DONEGAN Midwife

48 Sick kids and work What to do when you work full time and your child falls ill

Family

FIONA O’FARRELL Occupational therapist

LUCY WOLFE Paediatric sleep consultant AILEEN COX BLUNDELL The creative force behind Baby Led Feeding

````

HELEN SWIERSZCZ Parent coach

CATRIONA LYSAGHT Speech therapist

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y a s r u o Y and thoughts Email your feedback nting.ie to editor@easypare

Getting rid of ‘mumpires’

Your article on why positive friends are so important was really eyeopening. It wasn’t until after reading your article that I realised I have a mumpire in my life. Since then I’ve just been smiling and brushing her harsh comments off as I don’t need any of her negative opinions in my life. Thank you for making me realise it.

Susan Judge, Cork

My baby’s skin

Thank you for the tips in your article about taking care of your baby’s skin.

It was so informative and very helpful! My baby’s eczema isn’t flaring up as often anymore.

Georgie Summers, Co. Meath

The real preemie facts

I’m pregnant with my first baby. Recently the doctor told me that I’m at risk of going into labour prematurely. I’m so worried and scared and don’t know how to cope with all of this. Your article about the facts of premature birth really helped me to understand more of the terms doctors use, and made me realise that I’m not alone in this. After reading your article, I decided to join a community who’ll support me through this difficult time if I do have a premature baby.

Jane Cleary, Dublin

Stress-free holiday

This summer we’ll be going on our first family holiday since the birth of my son two years ago – and I’m terrified. Geraldine Walsh’s tips and tricks on how to holiday with your toddler was very helpful. I think I’m as prepared as I can be. Keep your fingers crossed!

Sadhbh Quinn, Co. Cork ily.

Fun times!

out with fam g team out and ab The easy parentin

Join our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter FACEBOOK Connect with other parents, enter our competitions and share your pregnancy and parenting stories on our Facebook page: Facebook.com/easyparentingmag

TWITTER Follow us on Twitter for Easy Parenting news and updates: twitter.com/EasyParenting1

Having ‘The Talk’

Recently our kids have been asking my husband and I some very awkward questions about the birds and the bees. After just brushing it off a few times, we started to realise we really should be starting to set a plan on how we’re going to talk to them about sex. Your article “Getting the facts straight” was really helpful and made us realise that we should just be straight with them. Not all the details are necessary just yet, but giving them the ball part of how the baby gets into the mummy’s tummy is very important. Thank you!

Isabelle O’Reardon, Co. Galway

FIONA O’FARRELL Sleep expert and occupational therapist

Occupational therapist Fiona has worked in paediatrics for 20 years specialising in sleep issues and development. This expertise has enabled Fiona to develop a ‘Child-Centric Approach’ to your child’s sleep difficulties which involves 'No crying it out.’ Fiona is also mum to three young children.

Services include: • Fiona offers 1-1 sleep consultations for parents with different packages available depending on your child’s needs.* • Talks for groups of parents • Corporate talks on improving your sleep

Penny and mum Sinéad at the St Francis Hospice charity walk in St Anne's Park sponsored

by Bank of Ireland.

• Talks to health care professionals • Fiona is also board director of Irish Neonatal Health Alliance and her other passion is the area of sensory processing on the developing brain and premature babies.Fiona regularly gives talks at conference and to health care professionals • Fiona contributes to both national media and Virgin Media One and is expert baby sleep and development contributor to everymum.ie www.fionaofarrell.ie Tel: 087-9144323

Nina taking part in a St Patrick's Day walk with her Montessori school mates.

* (Please see your medical insurance for how your cost for Occupational Therapy can be claimed back)

Mom, Mama, Mum No matter what we are called, we are all doing our best.

Every mum knows the love, the exhaustion, the pride and the self doubt that goes with being a mum.

And every mum needs to be reminded that she’s not alone.

For over 18 years, eumom.ie has been doing just that.

For expert advice, honesty and friendship, we are here for every mum and every stage.

And although we’re getting a new name, we are still the same people doing our very best for every mum in Ireland.

To join the everymum community free text ‘Register’ to 50400

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NEWS

News

NEARLY A QUARTER OF BRITISH CHILDREN EAT DINNER ALONE IN THEIR BEDROOM 85% of parents admit that they struggle to get their children to sit at the table and stay there until everyone has finished according to a recent study, while 11% say that their children refuse to eat an evening meal at all.

Over a quarter of parents (26%) blame their child’s addiction to online gaming, as it fuels the resistance to come to the table when called and more importantly, to stay at the table until everyone has finished.

As many as 15% of the mums and dads who took part in the study say they regularly relent and let their kids eat elsewhere as they are too exhausted to argue, while a further 11% say they’d do anything to avoid confrontation at the end of a long day.

The UK study shows the average British child now eats in front of a screen five times a week, with only four meals a week eaten together as a family, with 20% regularly eating meals in front of a computer game and one in five using a tablet while tucking into their evening meal.

Aldi commissioned the study to mark the launch of their Teatime Takedown activation to help parents save family mealtimes. A first of its kind service, Aldi’s Teatime Takedowns involve enlisting an elite quad of professional gamers who parents can call upon to infiltrate their kids’ video games and take them down, ensuring that they are offline during dinnertime hours.

European Immunisation Week Prevent. Protect. Immunise During the week of 24 to 30 April 2019 people will be reminded how important immunisation really is. European Immunisation Week (EIW) will take place during this time and all member states, including Ireland, will take part in this.

The EIW is organised in conjunction with the World Health Organisation (WHO) and World Immunisation Week.

For more information, go to www.euro.who.int/en/home.

8 | easy parenting

Ireland has the third highest fertility rate in the EU, although the average woman is older than 30 when she has her first child. There is also a high proportion of women who start their family in their 40s compared with other nations.

New official figures show the people of this country still live up to the age-old stereotype of being fertile with big families.

Behind Finland, Ireland has the second highest share of mothers with four children or more across the EU, at 9%.

There are 1.77 births per woman in Ireland, according to the Eurostat figures.

This puts us third in the fertility stakes, behind Sweden, at 1.78 births per woman, and France, in first place, at 1.9.

Carrying newborn car seats could injure new mums Experts have warned that lifting and carrying baby car seats can put a new mum’s postnatal recovery at risk.

The first stage seats can be heavy and awkward for mothers who have just given birth and could cause or worsen pelvic organ prelapse, physiotherapists said.

The UK’s Professional Network of Pelvic, Obstetric and Gynaecological Physiotherapy (POGP) said the seats were not well designed for carrying.

The POGP advised putting a car seat on a lightweight frame with wheels and to use the car's ISOFIX fittings if possible to minimise twisting.

It’s recommended that car seats are mainly used in the car and not as a carrying device. Some experts suggest using a sling to transport babies to and from the car.

News

Parents Too Busy To Potty Train Suggests Survey Parents are too busy to toilet train their children early enough, and are not recognising the strain that this delay could put on their bladders and bowels, a recent UK survey found.

A survey of early years staff by charity ERIC and the National Day Nurseries Association (NDNA) revealed 68% of them feel that over

the past five years children were being potty trained at a later age.

Almost half (43%) of the 202 early years practitioners questioned felt it was down to parents putting it off because they are too busy or at work too long.

The nursery practitioners said parents needed more support, and 92% believed toilet training should be a shared responsibility between nursery and home.

Positive Thinking In Pregnancy Could Help Child’s Future Ability In Maths & Science Your attitude during pregnancy could have an effect on your child’s ability in maths and science, according to a new study published

by Frontiers in Psychology.

Using data from Bristol’s Children of the 90s study the research is one of a series from the University of Bristol, that examines a parental personality attribute known as the ‘locus of control’. This is a psychological measure of how much someone believes that they have control over the outcome of events in their life or whether external forces beyond their control dictates how life turns out.

Those with an external locus of control would believe there is little point in making an effort as what happens to them is due to luck and circumstances, in contrast with internally controlled people who are motivated into action because they feel they can influence what is going to happen.

Researchers examined the ‘locus of control’ by using responses from questionnaires completed by over 1,600

pregnant women who took part in the Children of the 90s study.

They then looked at the mathematical and scientific reasoning and problemsolving skills of their offspring at the ages of 8, 11 and 13 assessed in school using specially designed tests. This study is among the first to link the prenatal locus of control of parents to the maths and science abilities of their offspring years later.

Findings reveal that mothers with an internal locus of control before their child was born (those who believe in the connection between their actions and what happens to them) were more likely to have a child who is good at maths and science.

Compared to their externally controlled peers, internally focussed mothers also were more likely to provide their children with diets that assist brain development, to more frequently read stories to them and to show an interest in their child’s homework and academic progress.

Did you kn

ow?

easy parenting

Your baby voice and can hear your o from abou ther sounds t of pregnan 23 weeks cy.

easy parenting | 9

News

Water Babies Splashathon Water Babies and their mums and dads across the country will be splashing through April to raise funds and do #whateverittakes during this year’s Water Babies Splashathon to help get sick children back out to play.

“Water Babies’ Splashathon is a fun splashy way to make a real and lasting difference to children across Ireland – and has raised over €120,000 for children’s charities since it launched in Ireland 10 years ago."

Sarah Joyce, Head of Corporate Partners for CMRF Crumlin said, “We rely heavily on public donations and corporate partnerships. We’re delighted to continue the partnership with Water Babies, to continue to raise vital funds for some of Ireland’s sickest children.”

Water Babies Eloise Lane, Jaxon Jordon and Jordi Kelly are leading the splashes when it comes to Water Babies ‘Cead Mile Splashes’ – all three children have been patients at Crumlin Children’s Hospital. To donate to Water Babies Splashathon Fund, please log onto idonate.ie/waterbabies

Crumlin Ambassador Eimear Considine from Ireland’s women’s rugby team Eimear Considine, Michael & Eloise Lane, Melanie Strong

Easy parenting loves Fast fact

A newborn’s stomach is only the size of a hazelnut. This is why really young babies need to feed so often, as they don’t have room in their tummies to drink all of the milk they require at once.

10 | easy parenting

The new Nuna MIXX offers all the old clever features combined with new upgrades including no re-thread harness for custom adjustments, all-season seat, all-wheel suspension and UPF 50+ canopy. Designed to make life easier for both parents and children, its one-hand smooth manoeuvrability, easy to fold flat design and simple flip seat. Nuna MIXX, €599 Nuna MIXX carry cot, €199 www.nuna.eu/uk

Things to do

Woolapalooza farm festival, Airfield 5th - 6th May

Events Calendar

Egg and Spoon, Mill Theatre 22nd April, 2pm and 4pm

Lyngo Theatre Company's acclaimed interactive show for under 5's, Egg and Spoon is an interactive romp through the seasons where you come in and out of our magic circle and get to open all the gifts of nature. Percy and April get everyone settled on comfortable cushions and introduce the audience to Birdy, still hiding in his glowing egg. (For ages 1-5 years) www.milltheatre.ie

Easter Egg Hunt, Wells House & Gardens 21st April from 1pm

Get your little bunnies ready for the Wells House annual Easter Egg hunt complete with a map, Mr Easter Bunny himself and of course, chocolate! Live music and BBQ on the terrace. Tickets for the Easter Egg Hunt are €5 per child to include a chocolate surprise and fun, egg-citing egg hunt. Tickets can be bought on the day.

Check out Ireland’s most unique suburban farming festival: Thrilling sheepdog trials with Denis Birchall, Ireland’s One Man & His Dog Champion, barber Rodney and his super sheep shears, live music and dancing at the Woolapalooza Céilí, drop-in craft sessions for kids and adults, butchery and bakery demonstrations, Fire & Grill BBQ all day, heritage house tours and storytelling, a giant knitting bee, yarn bombing, craft stalls, brunch in Overends Kitchen and much more. Woolapalooza Farm Festival 2019 is a fantastic May Bank Holiday must do! €12 adult/€5 children/Under 3’s always go free at Airfield. www.airfield.ie/woolapalooza-festival/

Croke Park at Easter 18th - 22nd of April

Hatch a plan to go on the Croke Park Stadium Tour this Easter and take part in an ‘eggs’tra special Egg Hunt! Your little chickens will have to keep their eyes peeled and listen closely to the guide’s fascinating stories of Croke Park and the GAA if they want to complete the hunt successfully and earn their reward of a delicious Cadbury’s Easter egg at the end. The unmissable Easter ‘eggs’perience includes a guided tour of the famous stadium, a fun Easter egg hunt, and a visit to the GAA Museum! €11 for Children, €9 for Adults, €35 for Family (2 adults + 2 children), €40 for Family (2 adults + 3 children).

Children Under 3 free. www.crokepark.ie/easter

Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom: Live on Stage in Olympia Theatre, Dublin 4th - 5th May

The story follows Ben and Holly on their fun-filled journey to help Gaston the Ladybird clean up his messy cave, visit The Big World with Nanny Plum and even plan a surprise for King Elf’s birthday party, complete with an unplanned jelly flood! This charming, magical visit to the Little Kingdom is filled with fun, music, colour and songs that will delight young families. www.olympia.ie

www.wellshouse.ie

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l ntia n e s s E tio a m r info parents ll for a o be t

In this section 14 Birth Story 16 Maternity style 20 Embarrassing pregnancy questions 22 Choosing childcare 25 Baby names you’ll love 26 What to eat when you have morning sickness 30 Tips for choosing a car seat

easy parenting | 13

Pregnancy

Story My birth

Leah McCarthy shares her son Cole’s birth story The Start of labour 4:40am: I wake to the feeling that I am slowly peeing myself! Surely this isn’t it?

I don't feel pains or anything. I go to the bathroom and find my waters slowly trickling away. I wake my husband, Quinten to say I think labour has started.

4:50am: I call the midwife on duty on the Domino’s team, Helen, to tell her I think I’ve started as that’s what was always suggested to do when your waters break. She asks me if I want to go in and get checked or wait at home for a little while. I still have no pains so decide to wait and we agree that I go in to get checked over at 9am.

5:20am: First contraction! It lasts for 30 seconds and it’s over. 20 minutes later… another contraction! And so, on they go every 20 minutes up until 9am.

They are like mild cramping pains, bearable through breathing and bouncing on the yoga ball. All the while, my husband decides he needs to make some snacks for the hospital and proceeds to spend most of his time in the kitchen making a fruit salad!

9am: We are only leaving the house to head to the hospital, but we are all set

1 | easy parenting 14

to go. Another contraction as I get in the car, three minutes later another contraction, three minutes later again another contraction. Every three minutes all the way on the 30 minutes journey to the hospital. The pain is getting worse but still bearable.

The Hospital When we arrive, Helen hooks me up to a monitor to get checked over. The heartbeat looks good and everything is okay – I am 2cm dilated. The contractions start to slow back to every 20 minutes, but are becoming stronger.

Helen decides it's best I stay as labour is established and my waters have partially gone. I’m admitted to the early labour ward. Contractions are getting stronger, no amount of bouncing or walking is making this go away! I try lying down and it’s the most uncomfortable feeling ever! I am given a TENS machine to try for the pain. I hate it! The little electric pulses are more annoying than anything and it does nothing for the pain.

11:50am: I am transferred across the ward to a delivery suite. Pains are stronger and I am told the amazing news I can have a warm shower… and this is where I stayed for the whole

labour! That warm water was the most amazing pain reliever. Unfortunately, there is no birthing pool available at University Hospital Waterford (UHW), so the shower was the next best thing.

Another Domino midwife Vicki checks in with us. She stays until after lunch as Helen has finished her shift. They take me out and check how far along I am. I am 6cm dilated. Well this is progressing nicely! I never thought I would be this far along.

At this stage I stay out of the shower leaning over the yoga ball for a while. I am starting to feel the tiredness and feel like I’m not getting a break. Quinten produces his fruit salad and starts to feed me some between contractions.

I NEED to get back in the shower. I sit on a stool and keep standing up to aim the shower head at my back for the pain, oh the ever-increasing pain! It’s starting to feel unbearable now and I am offered gas and air. I decline as I don’t know how much further I’ve gotten, and I still want to keep doing this myself. Vicki has now also finished her shift and hands over to a hospital midwife, Linda. I don’t care who’s there at this stage I just want to get this baby out safely.

At around 2:30pm they take me out to check me, and Linda announces I am

Pregnancy

fully dilated. She can feel baby’s head crowning. She asks me if I want to feel it and I do, and my husband feels it too. I really didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. This is all getting very real and it finally hits me I will have my baby soon.

I get up on the bed and the midwife says I can start to push. I really don’t know if I have the strength but remarkably I feel a sense of calm before the storm.

A breather before the pushing starts.

Linda offered me gas and air, which I accept, more so to have something to bite down on rather than actually sucking it in. I had always said I didn’t want to give birth lying on my back as I had read stories it’s the worst position to give birth in. Quinten reminded me of this, but I was at the stage mentally where I just wanted to get the baby out.

I started to push and push and push and his head was out. Linda announces the baby has a head of dark hair, which I was not expecting! She asks if I want to feel the head again, but I just wanted to get it out. I’ll meet my baby very soon.

One final big long push and my baby arrives. It was part of our birth plan that Quinten would announce the sex of the baby. A healthy baby boy! He was born at 2:58pm weighing 7lbs 5oz, crying his little lungs out.

He is put on my chest and I can’t believe he’s actually here. I thought I would cry but I didn’t and neither did Quinten. I don’t think this diminished the overwhelming sense of relief, happiness and pure love I had for this little human I had been cooking for the last nine months. We did skin-to-skin and Quinten did it too while I was being stitched up. It was just lovely to lie and watch daddy and son bonding. Cole is our first born, just like us. He was the spitting image of his daddy with the same ears, mouth, fingers and toes!

The next chapter A lot of people tell you there is no love like it – and there isn’t. It is unconditional and fills you up until you feel like your heart is about to burst.

Nothing can touch it. I had finally become a mammy and we had become our own little family.

Our world was forever changed and all for the better to have our beautiful son in it. Reflecting on my birth experience, I think it was the most positive I could have hoped for and I would do it again in the morning.

The Domino Scheme was perfect for

us and they were so supportive and helpful throughout my pregnancy and birth. A big plus for me also, was being allowed home the next day to my own house and my own bed.

S h a re your birth s

tory!

Would you like to share your birth story with easy parentin g and our sister www.everymum .ie?

Email editor@ easypare and tell us your nting.ie story.

easy parenting | 15

Pregnancy

1

Stripes can be super flattering on your growing bump. Check out these cute striped pieces

1 Jenny Stripe Maternity Top €75 @ Isabella Oliver 2 Maternity Multi Colour Stripe Skater Dress €52 @ Dorothy Perkins

3

3 Maternity Striped Nursing T-Shirt €29 @ Topshop 4 White/Blue Maternity Stripe Slogan Tee €20.50 @ Next 5 Navy/White Stripe T-Shirt €12.99 @ Mothercare 6 Maternity Jersey Dress €18.50 @ Next 7 Navy Breton Maternity & Nursing Tunic Dress €55 @ JoJo Maman Bebe 8 Stripe Maternity Midi Dress €27 @ Next

16 | easy parenting

2

Pregnancy

5

4

6

7

8

easy parenting | 17

Denim Dreams

Pregnancy

Comfortable, yet stylish denim maternity clothing

1 Maternity Utility Boiler Suit €80 @ Topshop

2 The Maternity Boyfriend Jean €109 @ Isabella Oliver 3 Mid Wash Maternity Dungaree Dress €49 @ JoJo Maman Bebe 4 Mid Wash Pleated Maternity Skirt €45 @ JoJo Maman Bebe 5 Denim Mid Blue Maternity Dungarees €48 @ Next

18 | easy parenting

#Imeverymum

The campaign helping every mum share the real joys and challenges of motherhood

E

very woman, bump, birth, baby and every mum is completely unique. Every mum has her own set of ups and downs, of insane joys and anxious defeats. Every mum is nailing it, winging it, doubting it and giving all she has while trying not to lose all that she is.

And while our expectations for motherhood can be unbearably high, there comes a point for all women when she realises that she is no longer in control, that her body is going to do what it’s going to do, that her emotional health has no bearing on her deep love, that her precious baby will find its own rhyme and rhythm, and that life as a mum is rarely how she imagined.

But when things aren’t going to plan, when you’re not feeling the rush of love or when you wonder if you have what it takes to keep going, we all too often blame ourselves, assume that we’re not good enough and that ultimately we’re doing something wrong.

So instead of asking for help, we say nothing. Pretend that it’s all okay, terrified of judgement, terrified that our deepest fears will be confirmed to us.

Let's share our stories In a recent nationwide study conducted by everymum, 50% of mums admitted that motherhood was not what they expected, why – because it’s more challenging emotionally.

Women across Ireland opened up revealing that although happier since becoming mums the vast majority experienced fatigue, feeling overwhelmed, self-doubt, anxiety and loneliness.

So if the majority of mums are feeling these things – why are we still so reluctant to talk about them, to share our experiences and ultimately to realise that although as mums we can often feel alone, in reality, we are all feeling the same.

#imeverymum To help give real mums a platform to share their story, everymum has launched #Imeverymum where real stories from real mums are published on everymum.ie and across Facebook + Instagram. #Imeverymum gives women a voice to express their truth, to help mums who have experienced similar challenges know that they are not alone, and to build a community where the realities of motherhood are celebrated.

Want to share your story?

Email hello@everymum.ie if you’d like to share you story on everymum.ie

Connecting, supporting, and celebrating Meet some of the mums who have shared their stories: Aoife Bermingham, shares her glory and sorrow as a mum surviving the loss of baby Oisin.

Families come in all shapes and sizes, and for many like mum of three Kate Gunn sometimes you might find yourself alone at the helm.

You are not alone #Imeverymum proves that sometimes in life, things don’t always work out as you had planned. That life will deal you unimaginable pain and incredible love. And that with each challenge faced mums become more resilient, more capable and more connected – because whatever you are going through there are others who are going through it too.

Remind yourself that you’re not alone, and visit everymum.ie/my-life/imeverymum to read the powerful honest articles written by every mum. easy parenting | 19

Pregnancy

8

G N I S S A R EMBNAANRCY QUESTIONS PREG D E R E W ANS Are you pregnant and feeling slightly embarrassed by some of the symptoms you’re experiencing? Don’t worry, they’re all normal, Elsje du Toit explains

I

f you’re expecting, you might get told often that you have that “pregnancy glow” going on and look absolutely gorgeous – which might be true…

But no-one knows about those weird, less glamorous things going on in your body. You might even feel too shy to talk about it with anyone!

Well, fear no more, because we have the answers to all your most embarrassing pregnancy questions.

1. What’s up with all the gas?

When you’re expecting, the progesterone hormone is your baby’s best friend – but it can lead to embarrassing problems for you, a.k.a. excess gas leaving you mortified in public situations.

Progesterone relaxes the muscles in your gastrointestinal tract and slows down digestion. Put that and the increasing pressure your growing baby is putting on your abdomen together, and you’ll get plenty of places for gasses to get trapped.

But bear in mind that the average person passes wind about 15 times a day and that anything up to 40 times a day is normal – so don’t be too hard on yourself.

Help yourself: First off, watch your diet and cut out obvious offenders such as fizzy drinks, beans, cabbage and the likes – food that are most likely to cause wind.

Also try to eat and chew your food slowly and give it time to digest and wait at least half an hour after a meal before you lie down.

2. I’m so constipated!

Constipation can be very uncomfortable – especially 20 | easy parenting

Pregnancy

if you’re expecting. Progesterone is also partly to blame here, but what really makes it worse is iron supplements.

Help yourself: If you’re experiencing constipation, ask your pharmacist for a liquid iron solution, which absorbs better, and try liquidised soups to get your bowels moving.

Also try to get some mild exercise, like taking a walk for about 20 minutes every day or doing some yoga. And stay hydrated. as it will help make you feel less constipated.

3. Why do I have Haemorrhoids?

Haemorrhoids, also known as piles, are enlarged and swollen veins in or around the lower rectum and anus. Anyone can get piles – they don’t just happen in pregnancy.

They may itch, burn or bleed making it very uncomfortable. Piles can occur because hormones make your veins relax – plus the added pressure of the baby pressing down on these relaxed veins doesn’t help much.

If you’re constipated, it can aggravate the haemorrhoids.

Help yourself: To get some relief from it, make some changes to your lifestyle. Eat plenty of high-fibre foods such as fruit, vegetables and wholemeal bread, drink plenty of water and avoid standing for long periods.

Also, avoid straining when you go. You could also sit on a donut-shaped pillow to get some relief, or try using an over-the-counter or doctor prescribed cream to reduce inflammation.

4. i JUST PEED MYSELF! One of the most embarrassing things that can happen when you’re pregnant is unexpectedly wetting yourself whenever you have a fit of laughter or an unexpected sneeze. But just remember it happens more often than you think!

A lot of strain is being put on your pelvic floor muscles as it plays a very important role in keeping everything in.

Help yourself: Ways to try and combat this potentially embarrassing problem are to practice your Kegel exercises (pelvic muscle-toning exercises, also known as pelvic floor muscle training).

You can do Kegels everywhere without anyone noticing.

Firstly, determine where your pelvic floor muscles are – stop urination in midstream to do so. If you can do that, you’ve got the right muscles. Squeeze these muscles for three seconds, then relax for three seconds. Work your way holding the squeeze for 10 seconds. Do this 10 times every time you do this.

You can also use special incontinence pads to help absorb urine.

Avoid coffee, citrus, tomatoes and soft drinks – all of which can irritate your baldder and make it harder to control those leaks.

5. Why are my nipples so itchy?

It’s normal for your breast to increase in size during pregnancy – it’s your body’s way of getting ready to feed your little one once she’s born. Because of the growth the skin is stretching and it can cause a constant itchiness.

Help yourself: To avoid having to keep scratching your nipples, especially when in public, lather on a natural moisturiser after you shower. And when you feel the need to scratch, try dabbing on a thick emollient cream.

6. Why are my breasts leaking before I’ve even given birth?

Although leaky breasts are often associated with breastfeeding mums, your breasts can start leaking before the end of your pregnancy.

This is because your breasts start preparing for nursing as large amounts of the hormone prolactin are released. Simple daily activities such as changing clothes or showering can cause your breasts to leak.

Help yourself: You can consider this as a useful trial run before breastfeeding your

little one. Wear nursing pad inside your bra which will absorb any liquid that leaks out.

7. Why do I have an increase of vaginal discharge?

During pregnancy, your blood flow all over your body increases – especially around the cervix. This can lead to an increase of vaginal discharge.

However, if you’re having any itching, vaginal discomfort or when your discharge becomes foul smelling, talk to your GP. And if you’re concerned that its is more than a discharge (that your waters might have gone) then go immediately to the hospital.

Help yourself: An increase of vaginal discharge is all very normal, so wear cotton underpants (it’s more breathable and absorbent than synthetic fabric) and use panty liners to keep the area clean and dry. Make sure to change it frequently.

Also always wipe from front to back and avoid scented soaps. If there is blood in your discharge, it could suggest labour is imminent.

8. Why am I having strange dreams?

You might experience a lot of weird dreams later on in your pregnancy.

Whether they're sexy dreams, or scary nightmares, the raised oestrogen in your body is to blame.

It can also be caused by your emotional state while you’re pregnant. Women often feel vulnerable and nervous about their pregnancy, the future and their baby.

This can cause anxiety and a lot of restless nights.

Help yourself: There is no need to worry or getting your dreams analysed. Enjoy the sexy dreams and just try to ignore the scary ones. It’ll all pass in time. easy parenting | 21

Pregnancy

I

g i o h n s C o d pick the care service an ild ch a up ze si Find out how to

best one

f you’re pregnant with your first child, the thoughts of choosing childcare are probably the furthest thing from your mind.

And that’s totally understandable, as you’ve got plenty of other things to think about right now!

But when the time rolls around to when you return to work, you’ll be glad you did your research.

It’s also good to know now that leaving your baby or toddler with a childminder or crèche for the first time is nerve-wracking. It’s just been the two of you on your maternity leave, and now someone else will be looking after him. It’s normal to feel a little anxious and worried.

Let’s first look at the different types of childcare that are available in Ireland.

Full-Day Care facilities: which provide childcare for more than three and a half hours per day. These include crèches and nurseries.

Part-time day care: This offers a structured day care service for pre-school children for more than three and a half hours and less than five hours per day.

Sessional Care facilities: which provide childcare for one or two sessions a day with a maximum of three and a half hours per session. Includes playgroups, and services offering Montessori programmes, etc.

Childminder: is a person who cares for children, usually in the childminder’s own home. A childminder should look after no more than five preschool children at any one time (including her/his own) and s/he can care for no more than six children in the home at any one time. Parents and childminders negotiate their own terms.

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22 | easy parenting

School-age childcare: services for schoolchildren can include breakfast clubs, after school clubs and school holiday programmes such as summer camps.

Depending on the service, there may also be homework supervision, planned activities or a nutritious meal.

Pregnancy

What should parents consider when choosing a childminder?

According to childcareonline.ie this is what parents should consider when choosing a childminder:

What parents should observe at a childcare facility: According to Childhood Ireland, what you should see is: • Staff being attentive and listening to the children • Staff being friendly and interested in you and your child • Staff communicating with children at child’s level • Staff dealing with issues as they arise • A notice-board showing the staff/child ratio for each area in the nursery

What questions should you ask the crèche staff?

How is the sleep room monitored?

What is the routine for sleep times?

Can infants/toddlers sleep and feed according to their own routine?

Can the infant/toddler use comforters/soothers for nap time? How are they stored when not in use?

What is the procedure for preparing bottles?

What provisions are in place if you are still breastfeeding?

Can provisions be made for a child who is tube-fed?

What is their toilet training policy?

Are infants/toddlers given individual attention and physical contact?

Are infants/toddlers regularly spoken to and sang to?

Are non-crawlers changed positions and moved regularly for comfort and to vary the environment?

How often do the children play outdoors?

What adaptations to the environment need to be made so a child with additional needs can actively participate in play?

How is the information provided to you about your child’s progress and general wellbeing – nappy changes, feeds, activities participated in etc.

Will you be given daily updates?

• Is the childminder 18 years of age or more?

• Is the childminder friendly and genuinely interested in caring for your child(ren)?

• Is he/she able to relate and connect (make eye contact, listen, and engage) with you and children?

• Has the childminder statutorily notified to the Tusla (only applicable if caring for four or more children)?

• Has the childminder voluntarily notified to DCCC (only applicable if caring for three or fewer children)?

• Does the childminder have any childcare experience/training/ qualifications?

• Is she/he willing to participate in childcare-related trainings?

• Can the childminder provide references, e.g. past employer, parents of previously minded children, General Practitioner?

• Is the childminder approachable and someone you can work closely with?

easy parenting | 23

Pregnancy

Factors to consider about a childminder/childminding facility: Kildare County Childcare Committee (KCCC) recommend that parents should ask the following questions: Do they cater for the care arrangements/ hours that you require?

How much are the fees for the care you require and how often must they be paid?

What services/extras are included in the fee? For example, formula milk, nappies, food (if baby has reached the weaning stage).

Is there still a charge for when the child is sick or on holidays?

What is the drop off/collection time?

What is the adult: child ratio?

What to look for when visiting a childcare facility According to KCCC, “visiting the services you have short-listed is a crucial step in the decision making process as it gives you an opportunity to meet the people who will care for your child, ask questions, and get a general 'feel' for the service.”

Make sure that you visit the service when other children are there as this helps to give you a ‘true sense and feel’ of the place.

What should parents look for when checking out a facility?

• A designated, well-ventilated sleeping area.

• Clean, safe and hygienic nappy-changing area.

• A clean and hygienic food preparation area separate from children’s activities.

• A designated area for prepping infant’s bottles and sterilising equipment.

• A sample menu on display with a variety of meals and snacks.

24 | easy parenting

Making your decision This is an enormous decision to make so it’s okay to be choosy and take your time in considering your options.

If you have a gut feeling and something doesn’t sit well with you, then keep on looking. If you are happy with the servicer or childminder, then book your child in or put his name down on the waiting list, if it’s full.

Where can parents find information on childcare services?

• Visit Early Childhood Ireland – it can provide advice and information.

• The Child and Family Agency (TUSLA) in Ireland regulates and inspects all pre-school childcare services. Check out their website www.tusla.ie for more information.

• County Childcare committees • Local newspaper advertising • Work place/public area notice-boards • Recommendations by friends or family

What is ECCE? The Early Childhood Care and Education (ECCE) programme is a universal programme available to all children within the eligible age range. It provides children with their first formal experience of early learning prior to commencing primary school. The programme is provided for three hours per day, five days per week over 38 weeks per year and the programme year runs from September to June each year. All children are eligible for two full programme years (Sept – June) of ECCE (76 weeks in total). Children must have reached the age of two years and eight months of age by August 31st of the year of entry to the programme.

Pregnancy

10 Colourful Baby Names

Have you ever thought about giving your little one a name inspired by colour? There are actually a lot of colours fit for a beautiful name.

Here are a few to get the inspiration going.

adjective ‘jet-black’ means as dark a black as possible. A great name for a baby boy with black hair. You can also choose to spell it Jett.

5 Colourful Baby Boy Names 5 Colourful Baby Girl Names 1. Ash

Not the happiest of colours, but a strong, short name for a beautiful boy. It also means ‘happy’ in Hebrew. You can also use this as the short name for Ashton or Ashley, or spell it Ashe.

2. Brick

1. Scarlet

A brilliant red colour with a tinge of orange. This is how this happy colour is described. Perfect for your little girl. You can also spell it as Scarlett.

2. Hazel

Probably best known as the name of the little boy from TV series In The Middle, Brick is actually a muted shade of red. It also means ‘bridge’ in English.

The thing with hazel is you don’t actually know for certain whether it’s brown or green – which makes it so much more interesting. It is also a type of tree, and nut. The name Hazel can also mean ‘commander’.

3. Moss

3. Jade

Moss is a beautiful green which is perfect for a little boy born in Ireland. The Egyptian meaning of the name is ‘son’ while the English meaning is ‘saved from the water’.

A great happy colour you can use for your baby girl if she’s born in Ireland. As well as being a gorgeous rich shade of green, it also means ‘jewel’ in Spanish.

4. Coal

4. Mauve

This greyish colour might not seem cheerful, but it can make for a very strong name for your little boy. It’s also a name derived from the Old English word Cola, which means “coal black”. If you don’t like it spelt this way, you can always opt for Cole.

If you want to give the Irish name Maeve a little twist, try Mauve, a lovely pinkish-purple colour. It almost sounds the same, with only one letter difference in spelling.

5. Jet

Although it means ‘flower’ in Italian, it is also a lovely purple colour. Very girly and feminine.

Jet is either black or dark brown, but may contain pyrite inclusions, which are of brassy colour and metallic lustre. The

5. Violet

easy parenting | 25

Precious beginnings Pregnancy

to eat WhatYOU HAVE WHEN

morning sickness Feeling queasy from morning sickness? Your diet and lifestyle can go a long way in helping you to cope with the constant nausea – these tips and tricks will hopefully offer some relief

26 | easy parenting

Pregnancy

M

orning sickness is downright unpleasant, and can really put a dampener on the joy of being pregnant. Feeling nauseous all of the time is very draining, but fortunately for most pregnant women who get hit with the condition it normally disappears by the third or fourth month of pregnancy.

There are a few tips and tricks you can try to make yourself feel better.

Prevent hunger

Stick to small portions

What to eat?

Eating small meals throughout the day can help to prevent you from getting too full or hungry. The hormone progesterone slows the pace at which food travels through your digestive tract.

According to consultant dietitian Sarah Keogh, carb foods work for a lot of women at this time as they also tend to have little in the way of smell. Try: crackers, brown wholegrain bread, cooked and cooled pasta, plain boiled rice. Yoghurts work for lots of people, especially plain ones and they are also a source of protein and calcium.

Don’t drink fluids with your meal

Try not to drink fluids with your meals, instead drink fluids half an hour before or after you eat. It helps to avoid your tummy from getting too full or empty.

Don’t forget to drink fluids throughout the day to avoid becoming dehydrated.

Stay away from cooking smells

This is hard but avoiding foods or smells that can make your nausea worse will help. You might have to avoid cooking for the first trimester of pregnancy. Spicy, greasy foods are not your friends – stick to plain bland foods that don’t have a strong smell.

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Feeling hungry can trigger nausea. This explains why pregnancy nausea is worse in the morning. To combat this, keep a bedside stash of plain crackers and cereal. Nibble on some first thing in the morning before you get up, and take your time to get up from your bed.

Also if you wake up in the middle of the night to use the toilet, have a little nibble from your snack collection.

WHAT TO ER REMEMBated Stay hydr Sleep ks Small snac Rest

What to drink?

It is interesting that water is a big trigger for nausea in women. At the same time, if you are dehydrated you will also feel a lot sicker. You do need lots of fluids that you don’t get dehydrated. A lot of women find apple juice is a good option if water doesn’t work. Cold drinks with lots of ice or straight from the fridge can also be good. If you can manage milk, it is great as it has a lot of nutrition. You can also try hot water with fresh mint leaves or cold water with cordials added to help with the taste.

You need to rest

Finally: get as much rest and sleep as you can. Being tired really aggravates nausea and one of the best cures is rest and sleep. This may not always be possible especially if you are working and have another child already.

However, do as little as you can and take even five minutes if you get the chance.

Watch your symptoms

See your GP for help if your sickness doesn’t go away by about four months. You may need some help to manage your food at this stage.

If your symptoms become extreme, see your GP or midwife immediately. Hyperemesis Gravidarum is a complication of pregnancy in which women experience extreme levels of nausea and vomiting.

Unlike regular pregnancy sickness which affects around 70-80% of pregnant women to some degree and is considered a normal, if unpleasant, part of pregnancy, hyperemesis is not normal and can be potentially life threatening without adequate treatment. www.hyperemesis.ie easy parenting | 27

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Pregnancy

s t a e s Car w?t o n k o t d e e n aby’s car sea what do I buying your b

when ts to consider Essential poin

Your baby’s car seat is one of the most important purchases you will make. It is crucial to get it right for the safety of your little one. The following advice will help you to make the smart choice 30 | easy parenting

Pregnancy

Different types of car seats You can buy separate seats for each stage / for some stages, or you can buy convertible seats from birth or from a different stage within the cycle. For example, you can even get one seat now that goes from birth all the way up to 36kg.

Typically though, a newborn

would use an infant carrier and would graduate to either a rearward or forward facing child car seat once they have outgrown the infant carrier. Children should use these seats until they have outgrown it – usually when they reach approx 13kgs or if their head starts to crown the top of

As children grow For older children, who can no longer use rearward / forward facing child seats, the RSA recommends a high back booster seat should be used for as long as possible and the booster cushion only becomes an option after the child has exceeded 22kg. Typically, a high back booster seat can be used from 15kg – 36kg.

High back booster seats provide much needed head, neck and back

protection to the child, and also have helpful seatbelt guides to ensure the seatbelt is positioned correctly across the child’s body.

The lap belt should be across the child’s pelvis and the shoulder belt should be flat on the child’s shoulder. These are the ‘hard parts’ on the body so the seatbelt should never be on their tummy or neck.

The main classifications/types

Expert advice is key

It is really important that people seek expert advice from the retailer and have the car seat fitted into the car before they buy.

This not only ensures the car seat is compatible with the car but it also gives parents an opportunity to see how to fit it correctly.

You could have the best car in the world and the best car seat in the world but together they are not compatible.

Some examples would be short seatbelts, long buckles, deep seats, underfloor storage compartments.

You should also try your child in

Check the harness

The harness should be checked and appropriately adjusted for your child’s height on a regular basis. The harness height can usually be adjusted up and down

Check It Fits

The Road Safety Authority offers a ‘Check it Fits’ service in response to a frightening statistic

the seat, whichever one is sooner.

It is highly recommended that rear-facing child car seats should be used for as long as possible up to 25kg (approx four years) as they are proven to provide much more protection to the child in the event of a collision or hard braking.

of child car seats are outlined in the weight-chart on the next page. Note, as above, they have a choice between rearward/forward after they outgrow the first baby seat. They also have a choice between a booster cushion and high back booster seat from 15kg but as previously stated, it’s recommended that parents use a high back booster seat for as long as possible.

the seat to ensure it is a good fit for them and comfortable as this will discourage them from adjusting the harness / seatbelt while travelling and in turn not protecting them properly in a crash.

from the back of the seat. Bulky or padded clothing can affect how snugly the harness / seatbelt sits on your child’s body.

The RSA recommends using

blankets over the harness / seatbelt or wearing a light fleece to keep children warm in the car during the colder months.

that shows that as many as four out of five child car seats are incorrectly fitted which can result

in serious injury or worse, a fatality in the event of collision. www.checkitfits.ie

easy parenting | 31

The RSA ‘Check it Fits’ service in partnership with Toyota is a full-time, nationwide, free expert service which aims to put parents’, grandparents’ and guardians’ minds at ease that their child’s car seat is safely and securely fitted in their car.

The service is quick. It’s easy. It’s free and it is travelling around the country.

Its experts will advise on how to fix any problem, demonstrate how to fit the restraint correctly and answer any queries participants might have.

For information on when Check it Fits will be in your area, visit www.checkitfits.ie It's really important to choose the right car seat for the safety of your little one.

The Road Safety Authority (RSA) to shares eight important factors to think about before you make that allimportant purchase.

1

Is the car seat suitable for my child?

It is very important to make sure that the child car seat is suitable for your child’s weight and height. Refer to the manufacturer’s guidelines on each car seat.

2

Is the child car seat suitable for the type of car I drive?

The shape of car seats, the length of seatbelts and the position of seatbelt anchor points are different in different cars. So, not all child seats fit all cars. For instance, the seatbelt in a particular car may be too short to go around a particular child seat.

Make sure you check that the child seat you buy will fit in your car and that it will fit in all the seat positions you intend to use it (for example, the back passenger side, the third row in people carrier, and so on). The manufacturer’s instructions should help you fit the child car seat. However, when you buy it, it is always best to have it fitted by an 32 | easy parenting

expert, and to be shown how to fit it correctly yourself.

3

Did I get expert advice when I was choosing the car seat?

Make sure you get advice from a child car seat expert retailer or the RSA child car seat expert. Some retailers know more than others about suitable options of child car seats.

An expert will be able to advise you on which type of car seat is suitable for your child’s height and weight.

You should also choose a retailer who can expertly fit the child car seat into your car to make sure it is a suitable match. They should also show you how the car seat should be fitted into your car.

4

Does the seat I’ve chosen meet the correct EU standard?

Check that the seat you are buying meets the EU standard R4403 /04 or i-SIZE (Regulation 129). If it does, you should see a yellow or orange sticker with an ‘E’ mark and weight guidelines on the seat.

5

Are the instructions easy to understand and follow?

Make sure the child car seat comes with an instruction manual. Try to have the car seat fitted into the car before you buy it. Ask the expert to show you how to fit the car seat. If this is not possible, you should make sure that there is an easy-to-follow instruction manual with the seat and that you fully understand it.

6

Did I think about airbags?

It is very dangerous and an offence to place a rearward-facing child car seat in the front seat if the front seat is protected by an active frontal airbag.

Make sure the child seat can be fitted in the back.

7 Does my car have back seats?

While it is recommended that children travel in the back seat away from airbags and the dashboard, if you must place the child car seat in the front, make sure that the seat is appropriate to the child’s weight and height. A rearward-facing child car seat must not be used in the front seat where there is an active airbag.

8

Does my car have the ISOFIX or i-Size system?

Check if your vehicle(s) has an ISOFIX system suitable for the seat. Ask whether an additional top tether on the seat is needed for extra stability. A top tether is connected to the top of the child car seat and is attached to extra anchor points in the car – for example, in the boot.

Some seats have a ‘foot’ that extends to the vehicle floor for stability. If this is the case, check that it does not rest on the cover of an underfloor compartment as this may be unsafe. i-Size is a European standard ‘Regulation 129’ which was introduced in Ireland in September 2014. The key benefits of i-Size seats are that they can be fitted like ISOFIX seats and they provide increased support for the child’s head and neck and they provide better side-impact protection in the event of collisions.

An i-SIZE seat also allows your child to stay rear-facing for much longer (up to 15 months in a rearward-facing baby seat). The categories of these seats is based on height and size rather than height and weight. Both i-Size (Regulation 129) and Regulation R4403/04 are both legal for use and will run alongside each other until the R4403/04 is phased out. However, this is expected to take several years to complete.

For more information visit www.rsa.ie

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In this section 36 What is gentle discipline? 40 Soothe baby’s colic 43 Weaning for beginners 47 What to feed picky eaters 48 Sick kids and work 53 6 Common baby myths busted 55 Nappy changing essentials 58 Help your baby’s speech 60 Baby diary 62 The importance of play 64 Vital vaccinations 68 Molly’s story easy parenting | 35

Precious beginnings

How to be a gentle

but authoritative parent

Parent coach Helen Swierszcz explains how it is possible to hold authority and show leadership yet still be a gentle parent

T

here is a misconception about authority in parenting – an idea that we can force children to comply with our wishes, under an invisible hold of 'authority'.

We obtain this by the use of fear tactics and control. There is a belief that 'not giving in' or 'showing who is boss' will communicate leadership.

But, authority isn't simply given, it's something that is earned.

Boundaries are important It is necessary to hold authority in order to discipline effectively. Setting boundaries and teaching socially appropriate behaviour provides security. The outside world can feel frightening, the inner world of emotions, can be frightening too when you aren't sure that you can manage those feelings alone.

An important part of our role as parents, is to effectively discipline our children. Therefore, earning and maintaining a position of authority will be high on the list of priorities for most parents.

To be awarded true authority, and to

36 | easy parenting

be respected as a leader of our children, we need confidence. We need clarity on our parenting choices. We need to establish trust. We need to clearly communicate our intent to support and guide our children, and express our unconditional love for them.

How do parents do this?

Let's break it down step-by-step how you can earn authority gently, and respectfully, without the use of punishments, separation or aggressive words and actions.

Change your mindset first Your first step is to get into the correct mindset. You'll need to let go of those limiting beliefs that tell you that your young child is manipulative or that their wildness needs to be tamed.

Give into the awe you feel when you look at them, the beauty of their individuality. And know that, this incredible little person, already is equipped with all they need to absorb your wisdom, to process it in their own unique way, and form from this ideas, beliefs and values of their own.

Kids learn from your actions Young children learn best from watching you, the impact of your actions on the world, and the reactions of others in response to your behaviour. They test what they learned by then, mimicking you and form a sense of self and their core beliefs from the experience.

C unde hildren r twe old r espo lve years guid nd best direc ance an to tio d in tw n deliver ed elve w or le ords ss.

Teaching your child how to show you respect, is as simple as showing respect to yourself and others, in front of your child. And most importantly, showing respect to the child themselves.

Gain clarity around your personal values and boundaries and stand by them unwaveringly. Speak to your children about the values honestly and

Precious beginnings

openly, and allow them to witness you upholding those values at every opportunity.

Build trust and connect Your next step is to establish trust and connect with your child. For most, this starts in babyhood. A parent who responds kindly to their baby's cries, and meets their needs appropriately, is well on their way to the level of trust needed to discipline, support and guide their toddler. As your toddler grows, you will be given ample opportunity to secure your child's trust.

Demonstrate unconditional love Children of all ages need to know they are accepted exactly as they are, even when they misbehave.

We can communicate our unconditional love and acceptance by using positive phrasing, such as avoiding the overuse of the word 'no'.

This is not to say you should never correct your child. Just phrase the correction and direction with an emphasis on what they should do, instead of what they should avoid.

For example, instead of 'don't touch that', offer an alternative object which they are allowed to touch. Keep your focus on supporting your child, holding them through their upsets, teaching appropriate responses to common childhood difficulties, like when their friends won't share, jealousy or disappointment. And most of all, in order to secure your child's deep trust in you, resist any urge to control them.

From controlling to steering Parents who take my courses often find it difficult to make the shift from controlling children's behaviour to steering it. So at first, avoid punishments and rewards.

While reward charts and

punishments may appear to 'work' in the short term, they only serve to teach children to use their good behaviour as a sort of currency.

It can lead to them creating a sense of entitlement. Children disciplined with rewards and punishments are behaving how you ask in order to get payment or avoid punishment. They are not behaving for the sake of good or out of respect for your authority.

Reward charts and punishments (even logical consequences) will undo the work you put into communicating your unconditional acceptance of them. Children need to know that they are valued as individuals and that you are not attempting to stifle their expression of themselves, but rather offer them tools to express themselves in the ways that will best serve them in life.

Honouring their individuality helps them to trust that you are on their side, that you are both on one team working towards a common goal – their healthy holistic growth.

A positive alternative to reward charts In place of reward charts consider helping your child to find a compromise or solution themselves, one that they are self-motivated to achieve. Teach routines to help them learn how to keep life organised and highlight the good feeling we all experience when we positively contribute to the family and show love, care and respect to those we meet.

Keep guiding your child The last step is to ensure you are communicating your family values and boundaries clearly to your child. Keep direction short and to the point.

Children under 12 years old respond best to guidance and direction delivered in 12 words or less.

Keep it light, cheerful and playful.

Fun interaction between parent and child encourages co-operation. Try to state boundaries clearly whilst also demonstrating your commitment to helping, supporting and guiding your child towards their goals.

Helping your children to understand that the discipline (teaching) we provide is always in their best interest and never an attempt to restrict or control them, encourages your child to place you in a trusted authoritative position.

When your child recognises you as an authority and leader, it is a great honour.

Bear in mind, the give and take nature that is present in all healthy relationships, will continue to provide you and your child with opportunities for growth, and to challenge your beliefs on the concept of parental authority.

Staying mindful of these steps will enable you to hold authority that stands the test of time. And to step into your power, as the effective, capable and kind leader you intend to be.

About Helen Helen is the founder of 'In Tune Parenting' and is dedicated to gentle, conscious, purposeful parenting. As a parent coach, Helen teaches you skills, she guides, supports and will empower you to become the calm, confident, In Tune Parent, you intend to be.

Helen graduated with distinctions in Early Childhood Education and Child Development in 2005 and has studied extensively in Neuro Linguistic Programming, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Child Psychology, Hypnotherapy and Mindfulness.

Besides her many qualifications, she is a mum of three, so she knows first hand the challenges faced by modern parents. easy parenting | 37

The clever bottle that cuts colic by 80%.

Colic isn’t fun for anyone. When your baby is upset and uncomfortable, you are too.

The discomfort of colic can range from babies fussing and refusing their feed to full blown screams and painful tears.

To tackle this challenge, Tommee Tippee have created the new Advanced Anti-Colic bottle which reduces colic by 80%.

new

Say goodbye to colic

Acceptance guaranteed

The new Tommee Tippee Advanced Anti-Colic bottle has some clever features specially designed to reduce the discomfort and pain of colic.

It’s often said that Mother Nature knows best, especially when it comes to babies.

And Tommee Tippee have taken inspiration from nature to create their most breast-like teats ever.

When it comes to colic, one of the main enemies is excess air. As your little one gulps down milk, they can also ingest air bubbles which can lead to upset tummies and tears before bedtime. The new Tommee Tippee Advanced Anti Colic bottle helps prevent colic by stopping air entering milk during feeding.

The clever part is a straw or wand that vents air to the base of the bottle instead of bubbling it into the milk. That prevents baby from ingesting excess air along with their milk. Tommee Tippee consulted 210 parents who tried using the Advanced Anti-Colic bottle and 80% of them agreed that it had successfully reduced their child’s colic symptoms.

Both the new Advanced Anti-Colic and Closer to Nature Bottles feature teats specially shaped and designed to have the natural flex, stretch and feel of a breast, because babies prefer it that way.

This natural-feel teat creates a feeding experience that’s ‘just like mum’ and is recommended by 97% of mums.* With teats that feel, move and act just like a breast, 92% of parents who have tried them with their child say that they accepted it within the first 3 attempts.

Choice and comfort

w Heat-sensing technology As if reducing the distress and discomfort of colic wasn’t enough, Tommee Tippee Advanced Anti Colic bottles have another handy trick. The ‘magic’ wand that carries away those air bubbles also acts as a temperature sensor. It turns pink if the milk in your bottle is above the recommended temperature for feeding baby.

This built-in heat-sensing straw gives you extra reassurance that milk is just the right temperature, so both you and baby can feed comfortably.

Available in 150ml, 260ml and 340ml sizes, as single and twin packs. Slow, medium, fast and variflow teats can be bought separately.

Discover more at tommeetippee.com

*In a 2012 online survey of more than 500 mums who used Closer to Nature bottles, 97% agreed.

There’s nothing parents want more than for their baby to be comfortable.

By combining breast-like teats with the latest in anti-colic innovation, the new Tommee Tippee bottle range promises less fuss, less hassle and more time enjoying the bonding experience that is feeding your baby.

Precious beginnings

Caring for a baby with colic can be a hugely distressing time for all involved.

Thankfully, it’s mostly a temporary phase. Find out how to soothe your little one’s discomfort

C

olic is a highly common condition that is not very well understood. The most common symptom of colic is uncontrollable crying in a baby for no apparent reason. It can be hugely stressful for parents when their otherwise well-fed and healthy baby cries incessantly and cannot be comforted.

Believed to affect one in five of babies, the symptoms of colic normally start within the first few weeks of life – however they normally resolve by around four to six months. Evidence shows that colic will not have a long-term adverse effects on your baby’s health. The causes of colic are unknown, but some researchers believe that indigestion or wind may play a big part.

Symptoms of colic

Soothe your colicky baby

40 | easy parenting

Non-stop crying A baby with colic will have a very intense and furious cry and her face will be red and flushed. Your baby may clench her fists, draw up her knees or arch her back.

The crying is most likely to occur in late afternoon, or evening, and is usually persistent.

When to go to the doctor If your baby has colic, it is recommended that you contact your GP when the symptoms of excessive crying first begin.

While colic is not usually a sign of anything serious, it is important that your GP is aware of your child's symptoms in

Precious beginnings

case they are the result of less common conditions. For example, they may be the result of eczema (a skin condition), or gastro-oesophageal reflux disease (GORD), which is a condition where stomach acid leaks back out of the stomach and into the throat.

Treating colic Because colic normally resolves itself after a few months, there are not many treatment options for the condition; however there are some self-care tips that you may find useful to help treat a colicky baby.

Soothing your baby: There is no proven way to comfort your baby and reduce the symptoms of colic but the following suggestions may help: White noise – some infants find the sound of ‘white noise’ soothing. This is the background noise of a vacuum cleaner or washing machine.

Burp your baby after a feed – simply burping your baby can help to relieve stomach pain. Sit your baby up and gently rub or pat her back until she burps. Use a cloth to catch any reflux.

Gentle movement can help to soothe a colicky baby – going for a drive or a walk in the pram or pushchair can be comforting.

Studies have found that overstimulation can aggravate the crying in a colicky baby. Comfort your baby in a quiet, darkened room and if they have been recently fed, changed, and are not too hot or cold, it could help to leave them in their cot for a short while.

Try massaging your baby's tummy in a backward C motion. Use baby oil or olive oil and gently rub the oil in (but not too hard). Use soft, circular motions.

Feeding tips Prevent your baby from swallowing air by sitting them upright during feeding.

42 | easy parenting

If you are breastfeeding, avoid drinking too much tea, coffee, and other drinks that contain caffeine. Some women also find that spicy food and alcohol can aggravate colic.

Holes in bottle teats that are too small may cause babies to swallow air along with their feed. 'Fast flow' teats with larger, or several, holes are available and may be a useful alternative.

Expert advice Osteopath Gideon Seth Ries describes how osteopathy could help to treat a colicky baby.

"From an osteopath’s perspective there are several causes of colic, some are related to different digestive problems and each needs slightly different management. However, a crying baby may have no problem with his or her digestion at all, but be complaining of discomfort somewhere else that is triggered during or after feeding. During the birth the head, neck , ribs and spine can be squeezed, rotated and twisted.

During a C-section you could also add stretching to the vulnerable head/ neck area and all of these factors affect the ability of the infant digestive system to do its job.

I would see many babies with reflux and silent reflux. Leakage of stomach contents is prevented by an internal valve reinforced by fibres of muscle from the diaphragm that loop around the oesophagus (food tube). If the diaphragm is distorted then the sphincter will not do its job properly.

A baby was recently brought to me by desperate parents. The birth itself was apparently uneventful, yet on examination, the muscles around the

Medical treatments Contact your GP for advice about possible medical treatments to help colic.

Some mothers have found Simeticone drops to be helpful in soothing their baby. The drops are designed to help release bubbles of trapped air in your baby’s digestive system, which could be helpful if indigestion is one of the causes of their colic.

middle and lower rib cage of their baby were tense and there was a slight distortion of the rib cage, which twisted the diaphragm and disrupted the cardiac sphincter. It took two treatments to release the strain and for the reflux to stop and relieve the colic.

In my 23 years of experience as a Cranial Osteopath specialising in treating babies with colic, it seems that colic can also be caused by a retained moulding pressure on the baby’s head from birth. It seems to cause a stress response in the brain which in turn affects the activity of the gut, making it work too fast or too slow. Babies who are delivered via ventouse and forceps are particularly vulnerable to these pressures. Quick deliveries may also cause persistent overstimulation of the nervous system causing colic.

The Cranial Osteopathy approach to treatment is very gentle and works in a way that encourages the tissues to ease and release the strain patterns.

This allows your baby’s body to return to a healthier more relaxed state that relieves the causes of colic."

Gideon Seth Ries DO, LAc, ND, FSCC Oak Clinic, Killaloe, Co Clare www.oakclinic.ie. Tel: 061 374618

Precious beginnings

Weaning for beginners Solid weaning advice from consultant dietitian Sarah Keogh

O

nce you are over the initial hurdle of a new baby, all the sleepless nights, constant nappy changing and worrying over how much milk they are getting, along comes weaning and you are bounced back into uncharted territory. It is not enough to just get them started on food, but the pressure is on straight away to make sure they are eating everything and you are not raising a fussy eater‌ The advice out there on weaning can be pretty confusing with everyone having their own opinion. Questions about when to start, what to offer, what to avoid and panic about allergies can make

easy parenting | 43

Precious beginnings

the whole process bewildering. Luckily, there are some very straightforward rules to follow, we look at the foods you can and can’t have, as well as when and how to start.

When to start?

If you are exclusively breastfeeding, advice is to have started weaning by six months. However, you can start to wean your baby from four months or 17 weeks after birth. Is it better to start earlier? This is really up to mum.

However, the six months cut off is important. Babies have a store of iron at birth that is almost gone by six months so your baby needs to be eating iron-rich foods by the time they are six months. To get to that stage it is useful to have started them on some weaning in the weeks before six months so that they are ready for red meat and other iron-rich foods.

What to start with?

Begin with purées. Baby-led weaning (where you give solid, finger food from the start) is popular but it's wise to be very sure of a baby’s gag reflex before starting this as it is not suitable for babies under six to seven months.

Which purée is really up to mum. Baby rice is popular as you mix it with a baby’s usual milk so it tastes the same.

Lots of parents go with pureéd fruit or vegetables and either is fine. Just make sure it is completely smooth. Start around midday, about half an hour before your baby’s usual milk feed. That way they are a little hungry but not screaming for food. Make sure your baby can hold up their head and you can keep their back straight. This helps avoid gagging and makes it easier to swallow.

Remember to put the spoon to the baby’s lips and let them ‘suck’ the food in – don’t just 44 | easy parenting

shove the spoon in! Babies need to feel in control of the food in their mouths.

Don’t panic if they spit it all out – this is normal. At this stage, they are just learning how to move food around with their tongue and it takes a few tries for them to get it from the front of their mouth to the back. Be patient. It is normal for a baby to take only two to three teaspoons at the start – it takes a few weeks to work up to one to two tablespoons at a meal.

How do I know my baby is ready to wean?

There are no hard-and-fast rules for this but some things to look out for are: 4 Can your baby hold their head up in a stable position?

4 Can your baby sit up easily with some support?

4 Is your baby watching you eat and showing an interest in your food?

4 Is your baby putting things (e.g. toys) in their mouth? Can they bring their hands to their mouth?

4 Are they making chewing or munching movements when they have something in their mouths?

4 Is milk feeding – from the breast or the bottle – going well?

What next?

The next step is to put the work in to avoid fussy eating. Fussy eating is a nightmare for many parents, you have a window from weaning to about 18 months to get your baby used to all the tastes and textures that food can offer.

After 18 months, they can become very resistant to new foods and textures so the work starts now. As with so many things, it is easier to prevent fussy eating than to cure it.

Offer your baby lots of different foods. They can all be purées at the start but try lots of fruit, vegetables as well as puréed meat, fish and chicken.

See the chart on the next page to see

what foods you can give at each age.

Do start your baby on foods like meat and chicken early on. You can purée them into other vegetables. Iron is such an important food and babies need to be eating iron-rich foods (and getting some protein) by the time they are six months old.

Consistency is key Texture is extremely important. Most fussy eaters don’t mind the flavour of food – it is the feel of it in their mouths that is the problem. It takes 10-16 ‘tries’ before a baby will like a new food – so you have to keep offering it until they get used to it. This is easier the earlier you start. You need to move from smooth purées to thicker purées then onto mashed foods, finger foods and finally proper family meals. A baby should be able to eat family meals, chopped up, by the time they are one year of age.

There is some great advice on fussy eating and toddler menus at www. toddlebox.ie as well as some videos of toddlers learning to overcome fussy eating. The FSAI also have a fantastic booklet on feeding babies called: Best Practice for Infant Feeding, which is available on their website – don’t be put off by the title, it is a great resource for any new parent.

Enjoy it Weaning is one of the loveliest times you will have with your baby – it is a privilege to be the person who introduces them to the wonderful world of food and to a life-long relationship with healthy food. Be patient, be consistent and don’t over think it. Your baby will take their cues from you so the best thing you can do is let them see you eating and enjoying lots of different tastes and textures. Show them all of the social aspects of food by eating with them as often as you can.

s a n a n a B s e ff Freddy Fy

ler Snack Food ! dd To nd A by Ba st Be and’s Have Been Voted Irel Freddy Fyffes has won the Gold Award as Ireland’s best Baby and Toddler Snack Food in the National Parenting Product Awards 2018!

Babies love the naturally sweet taste of bananas, which makes it a nutritious and delicious food choice.

Bananas can be easily mashed and puréed for young babies, or served as finger foods to older babies and children.

Best of all, you don’t need to cook them first and they come in their own jackets, making them an amazing ‘fast- food’ at home and while traveling.

Containing around 95 calories, 0% fat and brimming with vitamins and minerals, a Freddy Fyffes banana is the perfect snack of choice for today’s children.

GO BANANAS! Make mealtimes easier and pick up a pack of Freddy Fyffes Bananas to use in one of these quick and easy baby-friendly recipes: •

Mashed berries and bananas for breakfast

•

Yoghurt with mashed or sliced bananas as a snack

•

Bananas and rice pudding are a great dessert combination

BANANA RICE PUDDING Makes 1-2 Servings Ingredients:

Method:

• 1 cup / 50g of cooked white rice • ½ Freddy Fyffes banana, mashed • ½ cup / 100mls of full fat milk • ½ teaspoon of vanilla extract • Pinch of ground cinnamon

1. Put everything in a saucepan and heat slowly until it is all warmed through.

2. Purée the pudding for younger babies or leave it lumpy for babies who can handle more texture.

Precious beginnings

H andy

p

w

hese t o t y b a b r Treat you purÉes to kick start olids s o t yummy n o i t c u her introd ea n i n g ti Use ice cube trays or small food pots, which have been washed at a high temperature. Add your purée into the trays or pots. Put the ice cube tray into a plastic bag. Don’t overfill as food expands as it freezes. Label everything, with the name of the food and the date of freezing.

Sweet potato and pear purÉe 1 small sweet potato, peeled and cut into cubes 1 pear, peeled, cored and cut into cubes 2-3 tbsp baby’s usual milk 1 Boil the sweet potatoes in a saucepan until cooked and soft.

2 Boil the pear pieces in pan until soft.

3 Use a blender or liquidizer to blend the pear pieces and sweet potatoes into a purée. Add your baby’s usual milk to make the puree your desired consistency.

Chicken, carrot and potato purÉe 1tsp olive oil 1 medium potato, peeled and diced ½ small onion, peeled and diced 1 carrot, peeled and grated 3 small tomatoes 3tbsp baby’s usual milk 1 boneless and skinless chicken breast, diced 1 Fry the onions in the olive oil in a saucepan until soft. Add the chicken and cook until fully cooked through.

2 Add two cups of boiling water to the saucepan and add the potatoes, carrot and tomatoes and simmer for 20 minutes or until the potato is soft.

3 Remove from the heat, allow to cool and add the milk.

Use a blender or liquidizer to purée to your desired consistency. Add your baby’s usual milk to make the purée your desired consistency.

Parsnip and butterbean purÉe

46 | easy parenting

1 parsnip, peeled and sliced 100g tinned butter beans, in water drained and rinsed 3tbsp baby’s usual milk

Banana purÉe

1 Boil the parsnip for 10-12 minutes until cooked and tender.

2 Purée the vegetable mixture with the butter beans and 6tbsp boiled water in a food processor, or using a hand blender until smooth. Add your baby’s usual milk.

1 Peel and slice the banana.

2 Mash the slices in a bowl using a fork, and add your usual milk to make into the desired consistency for your baby.

1 ripe banana

Precious beginnings

tempt your fussy eater

Do you have a fussy eater? Aileen Cox-Blundell, a mum of three, and author of the recently published The Baby-Friendly Family Cookbook shares some of her tried and tested tips

I

started my award-winning blog, Baby-Led Feeding in 2015, sharing my first recipe on Facebook on the last Friday of that September, and by the following Monday morning I had over 4,000 followers. Thousands of messages from parents came flooding into my inbox asking for help, and I realised on that wet Monday morning that I had an opportunity to really make a difference in so many lives.

Now in my second book, The Baby-Friendly Family Cookbook, the message is simple: cooking one meal for the whole family need not be a thing of fairytales! It is packed with over 150 recipes, which are suitable for the smallest to the biggest.

I have written it as a parent who has to contend with the same issues you probably do: working long hours, feeding a family of multiple ages and combating fussy eating. I wanted to write a book that would make parents’ lives easier.

It does get better!

Having a picky eater is so stressful for parents. I have been there, and I can admit I have gone to another room to have a little cry at times. There is nothing nice about cooking an entire

dinner and your little one not eating a single bite.

It happens, and if you are reading this, you are more than likely going through this right now. First, take a deep breath and don’t beat yourself up! It can change, regardless of your child’s age. Whether you made purées, did baby-led weaning or used a mix of both, children have minds of their own and can one day dislike a food they previously loved.

Don't force it When you think about it, food is one of the few things a small child has complete control over. You can’t force them to eat, or it will just make the situation worse. They own their decision and decide what they choose to swallow.

The worst part is that the harder you push, the more they will fight back – and then they win!

Getting your children to eat veggies is a long-term goal, so don’t get disheartened if it takes longer than you expect. The aim is to make eating veggies and fruit fun and to really praise their efforts, no matter how tiny they are.

Every little bit helps and is a step in the right direction. It will change, sometimes painfully slowly, but it will – I promise!

AILEEEN'S TIPS ON CREATING A VEGGIE AND FRUIT-LOVING CHILD: Eat together. If you are eating broccoli and making a big deal about how yummy it is, then your baby or toddler will be more inclined to try it.

Always put veggies on their plate, then encourage them to eat just one little bite. Be really complimentary when they do and ignore the veggies left over. Remember that it’s a long-term goal.

Feel my muscles! This is a trick that always worked with Oscar. When he eats his broccoli now, he always asks us to feel his muscles and we make a big deal about how strong they are.

Make eating veggies the norm, so your child sees them every day.

Talk about veggies and their benefits, especially when you are eating them. For example: carrots help you to see; peppers help you to grow strong!

Shopping together Get your little ones to help choose fruit and veg in the supermarket and then prepare them at home – they love being involved in cooking ,and it encourages tasting.

Snack on veggies Raw veggies are a great snack for older toddlers (though not for smaller babies). Oscar loves to dip and crunch, especially when he is eating carrot or pepper pig sticks (as peppers are called in Go t our house). o pa g t

o fin e 96 d abou out mor e t Aile new cook en’s book !

easy parenting | 47

Precious beginnings

W

hile it is true that being a parent is a full time job in itself, many parents also have to go out to work in order to keep the family finances ticking over.

But while for some people, working from home or being self-employed allows them to keep the coffers topped up while also being on hand should their children need them, the majority of working parents are in employment outside the home and if an emergency arises, they have to rely on the good nature of their boss to allow them the time necessary to deal with family issues.

Understanding employers Irene O’Neill knows only too well how difficult it can be to juggle work and home life but says she is lucky because her employers are very understanding.

“I have a job I really enjoy and have been there for almost 10 years now,” she says. “I took time off when both of my children were born and was given extended maternity leave but returned to work both times and picked up where I left off.

“My son is now six and my daughter is four and both are in school and crèche so I am able to work part-time each day until 2pm without it impacting their lives at all. But sometimes, the inevitable happens and one or other of them is feeling unwell or needs taking to an appointment and I have to ask for time off. My immediate boss is really good natured and because she knows I have a good track record, doesn’t give me any hassle when I need to take time off.

“People have said my manager is easy on me because I am working in the public sector and say I would never get away with it if I worked in a private firm. I do Balancing the demands of your job and a sick child is challenging. need to Arlene Harris finds out what working parents can do when their take

WORKING PARENTS

and sick kids

kids fall ill

48 | easy parenting

Precious beginnings

three or four days off each month, sometimes more, to deal with issues regarding the kids – and it never is a problem. But I put it down to the fact that I’m just lucky to have such an understanding manager.”

It’s not easy Mark Flynn isn’t so fortunate and has had several unpleasant encounters with his bosses due to the amount of time he has needed to take off work to look after his sick child.

“I despair about humanity sometimes, particularly when I have to plead with my manager for more time off to take my seriously ill son to a hospital appointment,” he says. “My wife and I divide the time between us and while her employers are more understanding so she takes the lion’s share of time off, I also have to do my bit and want to be there for my child who is undergoing treatment at the moment and is really unwell.

“I used all of my holiday last year on taking my son to hospital or looking after our other children when my wife had the reins – and while I didn’t mind and don’t begrudge him a minute of my time, I find it very hard to believe that my manager is being so difficult about things – it’s not as if I am using the time to go fishing or taking a day off every week to take my child to the dentist or something unimportant, but I am sitting by his hospital bed while he is in serious pain.

I would pack my job in

because I have so little respect for my employers at this stage, but we need the money and I am under too much stress to start looking for something else, but the way they are behaving is a real unnecessary stress on top of everything else we are going through.”

Leave entitlements According to a spokesperson for Citizen’s Information, there are many types of leave or time off work to which people like Mark may be entitled. These include annual leave, public holidays, sick leave, maternity and paternity leave, adoptive leave, carer’s leave and parental leave.

“There are also times when you may require leave or time off work for specific reasons,” he says. “This could be when you have a family crisis – and in some cases you are entitled to paid leave but in others you are not.

“You are not entitled to pay from your employer while you are on parental leave nor are you entitled to any social welfare payment equivalent to Maternity Benefit or Adoptive Benefit. But taking parental leave does not affect other employment rights you have.

Apart from the loss of pay and pension contributions, your position remains as if no parental leave had been taken.

This means that time spent on parental leave can be used to accumulate your annual leave entitlement.”

The legislation only provides for the minimum entitlement. Your contract may give you more extensive rights.

FACTS ABOUT PARENTAL LEAVE • The Parental Leave Act 1998 allows parents (or guardians) to take parental leave from employment in respect of certain children.

• It was announced in Budget 2019 that a new Parental Benefit Scheme will be introduced. It will be paid at the same rate as Maternity Benefit and Paternity Benefit (from November 2019).

Legislation will be required before the scheme comes into effect.

• Leave can be taken in respect of a child no later than their eighth birthday. If a child was adopted between the age of six and eight, leave in respect of that child may be taken up to two years after the date of the adoption order.

• In the case of a child with a disability or a long-term illness leave may be taken up to 16 years of age. In addition an extension may also be allowed where illness or other incapacity prevented the employee taking the leave within the normal period.

• Since 8 March 2013 the amount of parental leave available for each child amounts to a total of 18 working weeks per child. Where an employee has more than one child, parental leave is limited to 18 weeks in a 12-month period. This can be longer if the employer agrees. Parents of twins or triplets can take more than 18 weeks of parental leave in a year.

• The 18 weeks per child may be taken in one continuous period or in two separate blocks of a minimum of six weeks. There must be a gap of at least 10 weeks between the two periods of parental leave per child. However, if your employer agrees you can separate your leave into periods of days or even hours.

• Both parents have an equal separate entitlement to parental leave. Unless you and your partner work for the same employer, you can only claim your own parental leave entitlement (18 weeks per child). If you both work for the same employer and your employer agrees you may transfer 14 weeks of your parental leave entitlement to each other.

For more advice visit www.citizensinformation.ie

easy parenting | 49

N O I T A S I N U IMM

y s a E e Mad The idea of childhood vaccines is that they protect your baby from potentially serious illnesses at the start of their life.

With the most common concerns in mind, we explore the often-navigated waters of baby vaccinations

W

hen the Public Health Nurse visits your home they will give you a booklet Your Child’s Immunisation – A Guide for Parents. Please read this booklet carefully and keep it safe. It contains lots of information about the immunisations your baby will be offered the next 13 months. In the back pocket of this booklet there is a magnet with the immunisation schedule. You can put this somewhere visible to remind you about the vaccines your baby needs.

There is also an immunisation passport in the back pocket. You bring this passport with you to each visit and the practice nurse will write down the vaccines your baby has received. Please keep this immunisation passport in a safe place and bring it to all appointments so it can be filled in and kept up to date.

What happens next?

• At your baby’s 6 week check you will be given a leaflet with more information about your baby’s immunisations.

• The HSE will write and ask you to arrange to visit your GP (doctor) for the first of your 5 visits. If you do not hear from the HSE, you should arrange to visit your GP (doctor) when your baby 50 | easy parenting

REM

Your ba EMBER by to your needs 5 visit s G their co P to complet e urse of vaccine Remem s ber to bring y . baby’s our immun passpo isation rt t each v o isit.

is 2 months old.

To provide the best protection for your baby it is important that they get all their vaccines on time.

into your baby’s legs.

Can I give my baby anything before they are vaccinated?

Where can I find out more information?

You can give your baby milk a few minutes before their vaccination. This can help to reduce pain at the injection site.

Do not give infant paracetamol to your baby before you go to your GP (doctor) surgery.

• booklet “Your Child’s Immunisation – A Guide for Parents” • the leaflet given at your baby’s 6 week check • the leaflet given after your baby’s immunisation • online from our website www.immunisation.ie

What happens before immunisation?

Before your baby is immunised, the doctor or practice nurse will check with you that your baby is well and able to get the vaccines. If you have any worries or questions about your baby’s immunisations, ask the doctor or practice nurse before your baby is immunised.

There are very few reasons why your baby should not get a vaccine.

Where can I find out more information about the vaccines used?

How are the vaccines given?

You need to know the name of the vaccines to search these websites.

The product names of each vaccine are available on our website www.immunisation.ie

The rotavirus oral vaccine is given first.

This is given as a liquid dropped into your baby’s mouth.

The other vaccines are given as injections

This information can be found in the licensed information (patient information leaflet PIL). It is also available on the following websites • www.hpra.ie/homepage/medicines • www.ema.europa.eu/ema/

CUT OUT AND KEEP What common reactions can my child get after being vaccinated and what should I do?

COMMON REACTION

WHAT TO DO?

At 2 and 4 months (Visits 1 and 2)

A fever is common after MenB vaccine

• Give liquid infant paracetamol1. Give 2.5 mls (60mg) at the time of the immunisation or shortly after.2. Give a second dose of 2.5 mls (60 mg) 4-6 hours after the first dose.3. Give a third dose of 2.5 mls (60 mg) 4-6 hours after second dose.4.

Give a fourth dose 4-6 hours after the third dose if your baby still has a fever.

Soreness, swelling and redness in the area wherethe injection was given

• Make sure clothes are not too tight or rubbing against the area where the injection was given.

Mild diarrhoea after the rotavirus vaccine

• Give extra milk to drink • Wash your hands carefully after changing and disposing of your baby’s nappy.

AT 6, 12 and 13 months (Visits 3, 4 and 5)

Soreness, swelling and redness in the area where the injection was given

• Give liquid infant paracetamol or infant ibuprofen to relieve aches and pains • Make sure clothes are not too tight or rubbing against the area where the injection was given You can feed your baby at any time after their vaccines including after the rotavirus oral vaccine. If you are worried about your baby, please contact your GP (doctor), practice nurse or public health nurse for further advice.

Fever (over 39° C)

• Do not overdress your baby • Make sure their room isn’t too hot • Give extra fluids to drink • Give liquid infant paracetamol or infant ibuprofen to lower the fever

Headache or irritability

• Give liquid infant paracetamol or infant ibuprofen to relieve aches and pains.

Immunisation Schedule AGE

VACCINATION

2

Visit 1

6 in 1 + PCV + MenB + Rotavirus 3 Injections + 1 Oral Drops

4

Visit 2

6 in 1 + MenB + Rotavirus 2 Injections + 1 Oral Drops

6

Visit 3

6 in 1 + PCV + MenC 3 Injections

months

months

months

No Rotavirus vaccine on or after 8 months 0 days

12

months

13

months

Visit 4

MMR +MenB 2 Injections

Visit 5

Hib/MenC + PCV 2 Injections

Don’t the forget nth o 13th m TER BOOS shot!

REMEMBER !

Your child needs 5 GP visits.

Bring your childʼs immunisation passport each visit.

When you child is in Junior Infants in primary school more vaccines. For more information visit www.immunisation.ie

You can feed your baby at any time after their vaccines including after the rotavirus oral vaccine. If you are worried about your baby, please contact your GP (doctor), practice nurse or public health nurse for further advice.

www.immunisation.i e

Precious beginnings

s k o o B ' s Kid e early age can encourag an m fro ds ki ur yo to g r Readin ong readers – here’s ou them to become lifelbe ds reads for ki pick of some of the st

Malala’s Magic Pencil

By Malala Yousafzai / Illustrated by Kerascoët (Penguin Random House)

This beautifully illustrated picture book, now in paperback, tells Malala's story, and shows them the worldview that allowed her to hold on to hope and to make her voice heard even in the most difficult times. As a child, Malala used to dream about a magic pencil she could use to solve problems like the smell of the rubbish dump near her home and to make her family happy. But as she grew older, she saw a world that needed fixing – and as Malala began to wish for a better world she realised that even if she never found a magic pencil, she could still work every day to make her wishes come true. RRP €9.36

Age 5 +

Super Duper You

by Sophy Henn (Puffin) Sometimes we are loud, sometimes we are quite, sometimes bold and clanky, sometimes soft and cuddly.

Sophy Henn celebrates all the different, extraordinary and sometimes contradictory things we are in this joyful and colourful rhyming picture book. Perfect to read aloud – and then read again, and again! RRP €14.05

52 | easy parenting

F is for Feminism An Alphabet Book of Empowerment Illustrated

by Carolyn Suzuki (Penguin Random House) Help your child to discover the meaning of words that can change the world! Activism: trying to change something important by making your voice heard. Compassion: caring about other people's suffering.

Diversity: including all kinds of different people. Equality: when everyone is treated in the same way. Feminism: fighting for equality between girls, boys and everyone. RRP €8.19

Speak up!

by Laura Coryton (Egmont)

Written by Laura Coryton, who led the international campaign against tampon tax, Speak Up! is a vital and timely book exploring what it means to stand up for what you believe in on both a public and personal level. Laura explores how to make sure your voice is heard as well as what happens when your voice is challenged by others. With a positive message about friendship, female empowerment and standing up for who you are, this is the perfect gift for girls aged 12+. RRP €6.71

The Very Hungry Caterpillar 50th Anniversary Collector’s Edition

by Eric Carle (Puffin) 2019 marks 50 years since The Very Hungry Caterpillar first munched his way through a variety of delicious food – and our hearts. To celebrate this milestone, a limited hard back edition of this beloved classic has been released. With a stunning golden jacket, and bonus content, the book features the story of the making of this classic, and a letter to the reader from Eric Carle himself.

RRP €11.48

6

Precious beginnings

common baby myths busted

Overwhelmed with all the information you’re receiving? Emily Elphinstone looks into the truth behind six of the most common baby myths

1

Myth #1 Babies should sleep

through the night by six months.

As babies grow, they gradually begin to link their sleep cycles together, and are able to sleep for longer periods of time once they also learn to ‘self soothe’.

However, don’t panic if your little

one isn’t consistently sleeping through the night at six months. Every baby is different.

You can encourage healthy sleep habits for your little one by building a routine of going to bed at roughly the same time, winding down with a bath and bedtime story, and creating a peaceful environment for sleep.

Reasons for restlessness and waking include hunger, teething, illness, and growth spurts, so it's normal to experience periods of sleep regression even once your little one sleeps through the night more regularly.

Expert Advice from Fiona O’Farrell: It can be very tempting to try and throw yourself and your baby into a rigid routine. However, this does not meet your individual baby’s needs and can cause further stress for your baby and you. By meeting your baby’s needs for sleep, you are helping him to feel secure thus leading to long-term positive, good sleep habits: • Ensure your baby/toddler gets enough sleep during the day in the form of naps.

• Establish a sleep zone.

• Establish a consistent bedtime routine.

• Put your baby/toddler to bed when drowsy but still awake. easy parenting | 53

2

Precious beginnings

Myth #2 Holding or carrying your baby too much may ‘spoil’ them

In the 60s and 70s, a lot of parenting manuals advised a strict schedule of feeding every four hours, and not holding them too much, more modern research shows that in fact you can’t spoil a newborn – babies do not cry for cynical or manipulative reasons, a baby’s cry is its only form of communication, in order to get needs met: asking to be changed, fed, or comforted. Research shows that holding your baby close to you helps meet his needs. This is teaching him to feel secure and confident, and studies have shown that regular skin to skin, and gentle touch can actually lead to babies who are less fussy, and easier to calm.

Did you know? A study in Pediatrics journal, found that increased carrying lead to a 43% reduction in crying and fussing, while a study by the Nationwide Children's Hospital in Ohio involving premature infants, concluded that gentle touch, like skin-to-skin or kangaroo care, was integral to healthy brain development in both preterm and full-term babies, and that preemies who spend time in NICU benefit from frequent gentle touch as part of their regular care.

3

Myth #3 Teething can cause fevers in babies

A significant part of the teething process in babies usually happens between six-months and 24-months of age. This is also an age in which babies are still developing their immune system, so they may pick up infections easily. So though teething can cause flushed cheeks and a slightly raised temperature, high-grade fevers are not a sign of teething and may be caused 54 | easy parenting

by something else. If your baby has a high fever, is experiencing significant discomfort, and won’t eat or drink, it’s best to take a visit to the doctor just in case.

According to the HSE: Some people attribute a wide range of symptoms to teething, such as diarrhoea and fever.

However, there is no research to prove that these other symptoms are linked.

4

Myth #4 Breastfeeding mothers should eat bland food

As a breastfeeding mother, you don't need to eat anything special though it's a good idea to follow a healthy balanced diet. Though it’s best to restrict alcohol, caffeine, and certain seafood, there’s no need to limit the flavours you eat, as your body does a great job of producing breastmilk that's just right for your baby.

In fact, continuing a varied diet can help introduce your baby to new flavours. In some cases, your baby may have trouble with digestion because of something in your diet. In this case, keeping a food diary may be helpful, or if you have any concerns, talk to your doctor.

According to breastfeeding.ie: Research has shown that mums who ate a varied diet, found weaning their baby onto solids a lot easier, as their baby had been exposed to a variety of flavours in the breastmilk already. The research also noted that babies appear to like the taste of garlic, as they drank more breast milk when mum had consumed this!

5

Myth #5 Cutting naps will help with nighttime sleep

Though as an adult you may have learned that naps during the day can affect sleep, this is rarely the case with

babies. In fact, overtired babies often sleep less and have more disrupted nighttime sleep than babies who go to bed well-rested from good daytime naps.

The only time naps may interfere with bedtime sleep, is at stages of transition, such as if your six-monthold moves from having three naps per day, to two. To minimise the impact this makes, look out for signs that your little one is ready to change their routine slightly, and include periods of quiet time during the day, even if they no longer wish to sleep as much.

Expert Advice: "Naps during the day are vital for helping your baby to develop good sleeping patterns which prevent night waking." Fiona O’Farrell

6

Myth #6 It doesn’t matter if baby teeth decay, they’re going to fall out anyway

Though baby teeth will eventually fall out, it’s important to look after them.

If baby teeth fall out (or are taken out) early, it can affect the position of the permanent teeth. Good oral hygiene habits are also easier to develop if you start early, so introduce tooth brushing and trips to the dentist as soon as your baby’s teeth start coming through.

Expert Advice: “Baby teeth are just as prone to cavities as permanent or ‘adult’ teeth. Teaching children to look after their baby teeth from the onset, will help pave the way for a healthy adult mouth. Early attendance at the dentist is the cornerstone of good dental health, and a successful first dental visit can make all the difference.”

Dr Paul O’Dwyer.

Precious beginnings

nappy changing

essentials

Louise Porter has some helpful hints to help you become a pro at nappy changing

I

f you are expecting your first baby, or it’s been a while since your last child was born, changing a nappy can seem daunting. But there is no need to worry, once you get the hang of it, it will become second nature.

What do I need?

You only need a few items to efficiently change your baby’s nappy: • A changing mat or towel • Cotton wool and a bowl of warm water or fragrance and alcohol-free baby wipes easy parenting | 55

Precious beginnings

• A nappy bag or bucket/bin for used items.

• Cream of your choice.

• A clean nappy (and liner and cover if you're using cloth nappies).

Where to change the nappy The safest place to change a nappy is on your changing mat or towel on the floor, especially if you have multiples.

If you wish to use a changing table, make sure to supervise your baby at all times. Never turn your back or leave them unsupervised in any way. Your tiny newborn will not be able to move much but they grow and become active so fast.

As your baby grows, she can become very wriggly and may resist getting their nappy changed. You can keep some small toys near your changing area to distract her, and singing songs also often help calm her.

Changing the nappy Here are the simple steps it takes to efficiently change your baby’s nappy: • Open the dirty nappy and use the front to wipe any excess poo off your baby’s genitals.

• Clean your baby thoroughly with cotton wool or wipes remembering to always wipe from front to back and getting into all the creases.

• Fold up the dirty nappy and put it in the nappy bag or bin, you can leave your baby nappy free for this step so they can dry off.

• If your baby has any redness or if this is the last nappy change before bed, you can apply a healing cream or barrier cream to their bottom. It is best to avoid creams unless there is a need for it though.

• Put the clean nappy on your baby • Dress your baby back in their clothes (or clean ones if they have soiled the old ones).

56 | easy parenting

How often should I change my babies nappy?

It really depends on how sensitive your baby’s skin is. In the early days they will have a lot of bowel movements and their skin will be much more sensitive so it is advised to change their nappy very often, including during the night. Before each feed is a good option as they will enjoy their food more when they are nice and clean and it can also help them to wake for a feed if they are very sleepy, as many newborns are.

As they grow and if their skin is not too sensitive, you can leave it a bit longer between changes. You mauy be able to leave it until they have had a bowel movement or their nappy seems particularly full of urine to change them. As most nappies have an absorbency of 12 hours, you can leave them without a change for the whole night once you have put plenty of barrier cream on them, unless they have had a bowel movement.

Make it a bonding experience Nappy changing may not be your favourite part of parenting, but you can easily turn it into a positive and bonding experience. Here are some activities you can do with your baby while you change their nappy: • As you change the nappy, you can sing or chat to them or pull funny faces. Babies love hearing your voice even before they are able to show it.

• After your baby’s nappy is changed and before you dress them, you can give your baby a little leg and foot massage with moisturiser or coconut oil. Babies love your touch and this can be very soothing for them, especially right before bed.

• If it is warm enough, you can leave their nappy off and let them roll around on the mat for a while, babies

absolutely love being naked and giving them some nappy free playtime helps prevent rashes.

Cloth or disposable?

You may wonder if cloth or disposable nappies are better for your little one.

Really, there are benefts to both kinds of nappies:

Benefits of disposable nappies: • They are readily available.

• Most supermarkets do their own brand of ultra cheap nappies.

• They are convenient.

• There is no need to wash or dry.

• You can get biodegradable brands (although they are more expensive).

• Easy for travelling.

Benefits of cloth nappies: • They are better for the environment.

• They contain no chemicals.

• After the initial investment, they are cheaper.

• You can try before you buy with the Cloth Nappy Library.

• Many believe they prevent nappy rash.

• You can get stylish and cute designs.

MUM’S TIP: "I joined the Cloth Nappy Chat Group. Using reusable nappies are well worth it! Saving the environment and saving you money. There are loads of different opinions on what brands are best but it depends on your baby really – and your budget too! Getting a loan from the Cloth Nappy Library could definitely save you the time and money when finding out what suits your baby." Amy

!

D L I M E B O T BORN

H ERE’S A W IL D ID EA.

ll IS ER th at ’s packed fu UR ST OI M a t ou ab w Ho d ingr ed ie nts an d of natu rally de ri ve to care fo r sp ec ially deve lo ped es? new bo rn s an d babi r se ns itiv e skin AN D it ’s ev en su itable fo ze ma.

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Precious beginnings

Nurturing language

development

Speech and language therapist Catriona Lysaght shares some advice on how to stimulate language development in a toddler

B

elieve it or not, stimulating language development actually starts long before a child can talk.

From birth onwards, babies gaze at their mums’ and dads’ faces, learning to focus, and taking all their cues from them. All the time that we are tickling their tummies and kissing their noses they’re processing information and learning about facial expressions, and getting responses to their own faces, movements and gurgles.

This early interaction is the very start of communication, and it teaches us basic conversation skills like taking turns, eye contact, looking at objects together, tone of voice, and reading facial expressions. These are the 58 | easy parenting

building blocks for language acquisition; they teach us how to have a conversation (even if it’s a conversation that consists only of blowing raspberries!).

EXPERIMENT AND RESPOND When people think of learning to talk, they often think of first words, like 'mama', 'dada', 'up', 'more', 'bottle' and so on. But how does a baby learn these? Where do they all start? The answer is by experiment and response.

The child experiments, and we respond.

I apologise for any hurt pride, but the first time a baby says ‘mama’ it’s usually by accident! But because we are so delighted when they say it, and

give an excited reaction like pointing to ourselves and saying “that’s right, I’m Mama!”, we show them the meaning of what they did. It’s a parent or carer’s response to a child’s early attempts that guide development and help language to grow.

Learning language is trial and error.

Small children are experimenting with language all the time, and they need our responses to be able to tell what they got right, and what they need to try again.

They also need us to show them the right way to use language, in a way that they can understand. This is what we call ‘modelling language’, and it’s one of the first things we work on at The Speech Centre with parents who are worried about their child’s language development.

Precious beginnings

STICK TO SHORT AND SIMPLE SENTENCES The trick is to use short, simple sentences, and emphasise key words.

Instead of giving a long sentence, break it down into chunks. “Here’s the playground. There are lots of children!

Let’s park the car. All ready? Daddy’s opening the door. Out we get! Hold hands.” And slow down, give the child a chance to hear and process each part, or to say something if they want to.

The reason we concentrate on how the adult is speaking, rather than going straight to what the child is saying, is because before a child can use language they need to understand it.

How can we expect a child to use words that they don’t know the meaning of?

We need to work on their understanding of language first, and it’s the parents or carers who can best work on this.

LABEL AND COMMENT We usually encourage strategies like labelling and commenting: “I can see a cow! Look, there’s a cow”; expanding: “I can see a cow! A big brown cow! The cow is eating grass. The cow says moo!”, and including gestures wherever possible to underline your meaning, like briefly pointing to your eye and then to the cow.

Once we are happy with a child’s level of understanding, we might put a little more emphasis on the child taking their turn in a conversation or interaction. This often means giving the child plenty of time to respond, or to make a comment themselves.

YOUR CHILD'S BE PATIENT AND FOLLOW YOUR CHILD’S LEAD It takes patience and a bit of selfcontrol to stay quiet and not jump in too quickly (and not to bombard them with questions), but it’s worth the wait.

When the child does take their turn (and it might be a gesture, like showing

you something, or a small sound rather than a word, so observe closely for their response), you then respond again, and wait once more for their turn.

Of course, we also see children at The Speech Centre who have very good language skills but aren’t using them.

The image I always think of here is a child pointing to the fruit bowl and saying “uh!”, and his mum gives him an apple because she knows that’s what he wants.

A possible alternative response here could be to hold up an apple and an orange, name them, and ask the child which they want. This is even better than just asking the child if they want an apple, because they can’t just say yes, they have to actually use language.

And if they don’t, it’s another opportunity for commenting and labelling! “Oh, I see! You wanted an apple. Here’s the apple. Bye-bye orange!”.

WHAT SHOULD PARENTS BE AWARE OF? There are of course pitfalls that every parent falls into at some point. There is no blame in doing any of these things (trust me, we all do these things, and even speech and language therapists blink in the presence of the public health nurse!), but it’s important to bring your awareness to them: - Try to avoid asking lots of questions.

You’re unlikely to get an answer, and it’s off-putting for the child. Instead, use one of the strategies above, teaching them about language by using it yourself rather than testing them by asking ‘what’s that?’. Bear in mind that asking a child to ‘say cow’, especially if the cow isn’t even there, has no meaning for the child, it’s just a string of sounds until they understand the language or have a real reason to use it.

- And most importantly, try to find a few minutes here and there to play.

Literally, play with your child. Follow their lead, without any purpose or ulterior motive except to have fun and enjoy it.

These are the moments where language development is truly stimulated. In this age of technology, children spend a lot more time on phones or tablets, or watching TV, than their parents’ generation. We don’t yet know the full impact of this, but research already shows the serious and negative effects of screen-time on language development, attention and concentration, and behaviour regulation.

Instead, have a few minutes together.

Turn off the TV. Maybe pick up a book and read it with your child on your lap.

And just take it from there.

If you are concerned about your child’s language development, please talk to your public health nurse or a Speech and Language Therapist. The Speech Centre has branches across Ireland (see www. thespeechcentre.com), or there are many excellent therapists to be found on www.isti.ie.

A B O U T C AT R I O N A Catriona Lysaght is a well-known private speech and language therapist, who has worked extensively with children and adults at all stages of life, with a wide variety of speech, language, communication and swallowing difficulties. Catriona is the owner and manager of The Speech Centre, where she prides herself on offering a top quality, tailor-made speech and language therapy service for each individual and family under her care.

For more information about Catriona and her practice please visit her website www.thespeechcentre.com, or contact her directly on 085 2175111 or info@thespeechcentre.com

easy parenting | 59

Precious beginnings

Diary My Baby

Laura Doyle shares the latest highlights from baby Milla’s past couple of months

16 MONTHS OLD How is she feeding?

Milla was a little off her food over the last month, and she ended up getting seven teeth! That explains it. She was living on ice pops for about two weeks. But she is back to herself now and eating as well as she did before her teething pains.

How is she sleeping?

She was finding it hard to go down to sleep last month but again, I now know that was from her teething. She is back to going to sleep with me quite easily. I still put her down every night, as I did while I was breastfeeding her. She will take a lot 60 | easy parenting

How am I feeling? longer if her daddy puts her down. I secretly still love the cuddles before she falls asleep!

What is she doing?

She is talking a lot this month. In the space of a month or two she has almost tripled her word count. She is really understanding what she is saying too.

She's enjoying playing with wooden blocks this month. She loves to build two or three on top of each other and get a big clap afterwards. I can see it helping her motor skills and her pincer grip.

Mentally I am still doing my yoga and going to the gym twice a week and it has made a massive difference to my mental health.

The thought of actually going to the gym can still be hard but I never regret it afterwards.

Physically I feel like I have a lot more energy this month. Ironically, I am getting up early but I feel more energised for it. That is the beauty of exercise, the more you do the better you feel.

Precious beginnings

17 MONTHS OLD How is she feeding?

As always, Milla is my best eater. She is eating everything and anything. There is nothing she won’t eat, or try at least. She has porridge for breakfast with fruit, and a snack at 10.30am, she has her lunch around 12, another snack around 3pm and she will always have whatever we are having for dinner at 5.30pm. She likes to have a bowl of cereal or toast before bed too!

How is she sleeping?

Milla is still co-sleeping safely with us.

There is something about your last baby

that is hard to let go of. She goes to bed at about 8pm with her siblings and sleep right through (usually) until 7.30am.

What is she doing?

She is marking her territory this month!

She is showing her sisters who is boss, that’s for sure! She will fight them for a toy (usually winning!) and has really perfected her “No!" She plays well with her sisters (aged four and three). She is really understanding cause and effect this month. She will take a toy off one of her sisters and watch for their reaction. When she gets a reaction she will act on it.

How am I feeling?

16 MONTHS

How am I feeling?

Mentally I have started to feel a little overwhelmed this month. Things have become a little busy and I haven’t been looking after myself as well as I should be. I am not going to dwell on it though. Life happens and it can get busy. What matters is what I do now. I am getting back on my exercise routine for next month and prioritising myself again.

Physically Again, as soon as I slip back from the things that make me feel good it has the same effect on me physically. I am tired.

I know getting back to a small amount of exercise will help that for sure, so that is what I intend to do!

17 MONTHS

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Precious beginnings

Make time for play Find out why playtime and toys are important for your newborn’s development

hen you have a newborn infant to care for, it can feel like all you do is feed, change nappies and wash laundry loads.

It’s easy to assume that your baby can’t do much, but it’s never too early to start playing with your little one.

Okay, so he’s obviously not ready to do a jigsaw, but there are lots of fun ways that you can engage with him that will benefit his future physical and mental development.

Remember your baby will be able for a couple of toys for a short period before needing some rest time, enabling your baby to learn all the exciting new skills during this stage of development.

fuzzy, and he can focus on an object about 8-10 inches away from his face.

“Black and white toys will help your baby develop the ability to focus. Just remember the toy needs to be positioned within 8-10 inches from your baby’s face.

"The sharp contrast of the black and white will make it easier for your baby to see as his vision is still fuzzy.

"The visual pathways in your baby’s brain respond well to strong patterns, hence the use of black and white. Mobiles, play gyms and any activity which involves movement will encourage your baby to watch, hence developing the eye muscles.

"As a baby’s colour vision develops they will see red first and by approximately six months, will see a spectrum of colours.”

Benefits of black and white toys for newborn babies

What games can I play with baby?

Studies have shown that in the first few months of life, a newborn baby can only see primarily in shades of black, grey and white.

Monochrome toys with contrasting paterns and shapes provide a newborn baby with the best form of visual stimulation.

According to occupational therapist Fiona O’Farrell when your baby is born his sense of sight is the least developed of all the senses. "His eyesight will be rather

• Let your baby play with different textured pieces of clean material such as clean socks and pieces of fabric.

• Play some music (YouTube have some great baby songs!), and encourage your baby to move along to the rhythm of the song with you.

• Read to your baby. Start looking at books with your baby from an early age – this really helps them with learning in the future. It’s a good chance for you to bond with them too. Use books with flaps

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and different textures. Describe what you’re seeing and doing as you read to baby.

• The classic peekaboo. Cover your face with your hands and then let go with an enthusiastic ‘peekaboo!’ Babies love to be surprised!

What types of toys are beneficial for babies?

• Books – With bright clear pictures and have different textures for your baby to feel and explore.

• Stacking blocks – with different textures and are lightweight for your baby to hold.

• Rattles – ones which your baby can hold and shake thus making a sound and are also light weight so he can transfer it between hands.

• Brightly coloured balls - which will encourage your baby to move toward when on the floor and hence will encourage crawling.

• Toys which light up and make a noise when your baby touches them help to encourage him to explore the toy.

• Spending time on the floor with both babies reading and singing songs etc.

• Sit on the swing with your baby on your lap and gently swing. This sensation is great for developing your baby’s sense of movement.

Precious beginnings

E C N A T R O P M THE I NS

O I T A N I C C A OF V

Vaccinations, although long considered safe have become a contentious issue, particularly with the recent rise in measles cases, Arlene Harris writes

I

n our parents’ and grandparents’ day, childhood illnesses such as measles were commonplace and while many children survived to tell the tale, many others were not so lucky.

Thankfully, advances in medical science brought about vaccines which would protect our children from contracting these highly contagious viruses and ensure they weren’t at risk of serious side effects or in some cases death.

But while Ireland had been relatively measles free for many years, the constant flow of people to and from our shores has meant that the disease can be carried

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here by a visitor and passed on to an unvaccinated person who either comes face-to-face with the carrier or simply visits a place where they may have been within a certain time period.

More worryingly, given the voracity in which the virus spreads, a certain number of people are now choosing not to vaccinate their children because they feel it is either unnecessary to do so, is somehow harmful to their child or they simply do not realise how important it is.

Against vaccines Laura Ryan thinks that vaccinations are totally unnecessary and says she would not want to harm her children by ‘actually giving them an infection’.

“I don’t believe in the measles vaccine and I think it is just another way in which we are being controlled,” she says. “I

didn’t get vaccinated when I was young and I didn’t get measles either so that puts paid to the notion that everyone will get it if they aren’t vaccinated.

“I don’t think it is necessary and I would rather my girls got measles and other childhood diseases naturally and fought them off themselves so they can build up their immune system. People underestimate how resilient children are and I for one don’t know of a single person who has had any negative effects from going through something like measles as a child.”

Vaccinations protect The reason for this, according to Dr Suzanne Cotter, specialist in public health medicine for the HSE and HPSE, is because the vaccination programme has been so successful in Ireland for so many years.

Precious beginnings

“There were thousands of cases of measles in the 1940’s in Ireland with people suffering complications such as ear infections, diarrhoea and pneumonia,” she says. “One in a thousand suffered with encephalitis and although rare, some did die from it (measles).

“If you look back at our parent’s generation, measles did kill and it had a hospital admission rate of 25%, so it is not a minor illness. Children do get very sick with it and during the outbreak in 2000, there were three deaths – so it can be fatal and it is not something that children are stronger for having beaten – so I would advise everyone to make sure their children are vaccinated against measles and other childhood diseases.”

MMR vaccine Currently, the Measles Mumps and Rubella vaccine is offered to children in Ireland to prevent the spread of the highly infectious diseases – and although it has been 20 years since a medical doctor was discredited for his paper linking autism to the MMR jab and consequently struck off the medical register in the UK, some people still believe their child may be at risk from vaccination.

“I have read all the studies about the dangers of the MMR and how it can cause all sorts of long term issues for children and I definitely won’t be letting any doctor give it to either of my daughters,” says mother of two Laura Ryan. “I have also heard of a woman with two autistic children and she is 100% convinced they were fine before they had their MMR, so I am not taking that risk and I think any parent who does, is irresponsible.”

Rise in measles cases Ireland has seen an increase in reported measles cases in the past year.

Last year there were 86 confirmed

cases here, a sharp increase from 25 confirmed cases in 2017. But most parents still have confidence in the vaccination programme with the majority choosing to have their children protected against the disease.

Prevention is best Sarah Moloney also has two children and she holds the opposite view to fellow mum, Laura as she believes it is wholly irresponsible not to vaccinate your child.

“It makes me so mad when I hear of people talking about the risks of the MMR,” she says. “The doctor who came up with that notion was discredited and his theories proved to be false. What people fail to consider when they talk about children developing conditions after the MMR is that this is exactly the time when certain issues become apparent anyway, so to latch on to these anecdotal stories is crazy.

“Advances in medical science are what make the world a safer place for our children today – those who are against vaccines forget about all of the children who died in the past or developed horrible side effects for life from going through these supposedly harmless illnesses.

Why on earth would they think that the medical world would be trying to dupe us into having vaccines if they were unsafe? I have met a couple of parents like that in my time, who believe that their child will be protected by ‘herd immunity’ but it just takes one case for their child to get sick and then they will be the very ones causing merry Hell looking for someone to cure them.”

Vaccinate your child and reduce the risk Dr Cotter says that there is no evidence whatsoever to support the claims that vaccines such as the MMR are unsafe and would encourage every parent to

make sure their child is given every chance to avoid developing these serious childhood illnesses.

“I have seen first-hand the evidence, demonstrated in our notification process, that those who are most at risk of developing measles are those who are unvaccinated,” she says. “Those who haven’t had the vaccine will always be exposed to risk unless they plan to live alone forever.

“Measles is very contagious and easily transmitted – you don’t even have to come face to face with someone who has had it – for example if someone with measles coughed in a room and an unvaccinated person came into that room up to two hours later, they would have a very high risk of developing measles.

“As far as I am concerned, all the research and evidence points to the fact that the vaccine is safe – it has been effective since the 1970’s and has been used routinely in Ireland since the 1980’s and has had a very positive impact.”

Sarah Moloney agrees: “When I was a child, my mother talked about someone she knew who lost their son to measles,” she says. “I remember how positively she talked about the vaccine programme and said it was miraculous that parents could now ensure their children didn’t get measles or several other potentially serious illnesses.

“And that is how I look at it – why on earth would you put your child at risk when you didn’t have to? That in my book, is irresponsible parenting.”

More info Visit www.immunisation.ie, the HSE’s website for up to date information about vaccines.

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5 Yellow 'Good Times Ahead' Jumper Outfit €33 @ River Island 6 Cotton Rich Dinosaur Joggers Price Range €9.50 - €11 @ M&S 7 Blue Whale Swim Nappy €17 @ Jojo Maman Bébé

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Precious beginnings

No limits

Rhona Cullinan shares how her life has changed for the better since her daughter Molly was born two and a half years ago

M

Irina Duane - www.happymemoriesphotography.org

olly is my fun, fabulous, cheeky, fashionable dream daughter ‌ oh yes, and she has Down Syndrome!

We found out at our nine-week scan that Molly had a serious heart condition called Tetralogy of Fallot – a condition which is highly associated with Down Syndrome. We decided against having the amniocentesis as nothing would change our choice to have this baby. We decided there and then to accept our baby with whatever conditions she had.

The pregnancy had many ups and downs. I had to be scanned twice and sometimes three times a week to check her growth and heart condition. I also became insulin dependent with gestational diabetes so had regular

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Precious beginnings

checks for that too.

At approx 24 weeks Molly started to decline and she stopped growing – it was a very worrying time. Eventually they decided to give me steroids to try and boost her growth otherwise they would have had to induce me! That’s when her nickname The Warrior came to pass.

Molly took the steroids and bounced back to normal growth and thrived after that.

She’s on her way At 39 weeks we went for a scheduled induction – however it started to go wrong once I started to push. Every time I lay on my back I would pass out – as though Molly was cutting of my supply.

Her stats started to drop and with full

dramatics like a scene from ER we were rushed with doctors and nurses screaming through the corridors into an emergency C-section. We had a huge team waiting to take her – cardiac, diabetes and Down Syndrome teams. We had been told that when she was born she may be blue and possibly wouldn’t cry and knew she would go straight to ICU to be checked.

So, as determined as Molly is, she gracefully entered the world bawling her eyes out and needed no oxygen or help.

On looking at her we instantly knew she had Down Syndrome. To be honest we were so glad she was alive, the fact that she had it really didn’t matter.

Love at first sight I got to hold her for about five minutes and fell immediately in love! I had an instant connection as she gazed up at me. When she was then taken away from us I remember a lovely silver haired nurse coming over to me – she put her hand in mine and whispered in my ear, “you’ve been blessed – you don’t know it yet but you have. Congratulations!”

I remember lying there while they were sewing me up and thinking why would she say that – what did she mean?

I expected pity and wondered how I was going to break the news to everyone? I knew absolutely nothing about Down Syndrome and didn’t do a lot of research about it whilst pregnant as I tried to convince myself that she wouldn’t have it.

Molly and he

r big brother

Joshua

Research So I started researching online – Facebook groups, information pages and a little booklet I was handed to read. To my absolute surprise I actually couldn’t find many negative comments about having a child with DS – they were all lovely stories about achievements, unconditional love and amazing bonds.

So that was fairly much the attitude I decided to take! From that day forward I introduced her as Molly – nothing else just Molly.

She lay there every day gazing into my eyes and the love we felt from her was unreal. I wanted to show her off to the world so I set up a Facebook page for her.

Initially it was just to put up photos of her for family and friends – but her page quickly grew and more and more people joined – all wanting to follow her journey and see her photos.

She is very photogenic and after two boys I loved dressing her up in bows and tutus. Within weeks she got picked up by some online clothes and hair accessory companies and I was contacted to ask could she rep for them. I was blown away! My little girl was now modelling for five international successful brands and was being treated just like all the other reps.

Getting healthier every day Molly was a normal extremely happy, content baby. In fact she rarely cried. We had some problems trying to get bottles into her as she suffers from low muscle tone which makes it a bit harder for her.

She had many sessions in physiotherapy, occupational therapy and we even started to learn baby signing in speech therapy. That was probably the hardest part of her early stage as it took up a lot of time, but otherwise Molly was by far the easiest of my three kids.

At six months old Molly had her first open heart surgery – it was a terrifying time to be honest. Handing your limp baby over easy parenting | 69

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Loves life Molly continues to thrive since her surgery and her character has really grown. She has an award-winning smile and just wins the hearts of everyone she meets. She is music mad and loves dancing and watching herself in a mirror!

She is still behind physically – at two and a half years she has only just started to crawl and still finds it hard to put weight on her legs. She has a couple of words but does lots of signs and is quite good at getting across what she wants!

Her main problems are around food – she won’t touch finger food whatsoever so that’s what we are working on now – walking, talking and eating! But she will do it all – just in her own time. Other than that she is generally a very happy content baby who loves music, loves watching Peppa Pig, giggles when her big brother dances for her but can throw a good old strop if she doesn’t get what she wants!

What more could you want?

What has Down Syndrome taught me?

Down Syndrome has taught me a lot of things – unconditional love, appreciation of all things that we take for granted with typical kids, patience to let Molly do things in her own time and determination 70 | easy parenting

– to change the way the world sees my child. I’ve learned to slow down and enjoy every single milestone with great celebration!

A child with Down Syndrome has the same feelings and wants as every other child – they have the same emotions but are generally very good natured – but don’t think they can’t throw a wobbler when they want – trust me they can!

An inspiration I share Molly's story and journey (along with her little big brother Joshua) with thousands of fans on Instagram and Facebook– the good bits and the bad bits and its so comforting to see so many people accept Molly as Molly – not judging her by the fact that she has Down Syndrome.

If I could change anything it would be to go back to my pregnancy days – I would enjoy the pregnancy more, look forward to having a daughter, know that Down Syndrome is simply an intellectual disability meaning she’ll do things a little slower than other kids.

I would have looked at the advantages not the negatives and looked forward to having a child like any other with just different ups and downs. If only I knew how Molly was going to completely change my life – for the better!

Raising awareness Molly is now a little celeb in the Down Syndrome world – with many TV appearances, magazine and newspaper

articles and is now also signed to Andrea Roche Model Agency as the first commercial model with a disability. Most recently, Molly was proudly chosen as the Irish Ambassador for Nothing Down – a world wide organisation promoting awareness and acceptance of Down Syndrome.

This year our campaign will be Dear Doctor – a campaign to change the way doctors tell new and expectant parents that their child has Down Syndrome – to prepare to grieve a bit for the child they thought they were expecting and then to push that aside to make way for the child they never knew they always wanted!

So that day when that silver haired nurse said to me, “You are blessed,” I didn’t know what she meant then but I sure do now. Yes, I am blessed – I love that Molly has Down Syndrome. I do believe I'm the lucky one to have been chosen as her parent. There is nothing down about Down Syndrome – and there is certainly nothing down about Molly.

Follow Molly www.facebook.com/mollyandjoshua/ www.instagram.com/mollyandjoshua/

Irina Duane - www.happymemoriesphotography.org

to the hands of surgeons is something no mother or father should have to do.

However we were blessed with some of the best doctors and surgeons in Ireland so we felt confident.

Molly’s first surgery didn’t go completely to plan as she needed to grow a bit more in order to give her heart a proper chance. They put in a BT Shunt and rescheduled surgery for another six months' time.

Her second surgery was a complete success and she was given the all clear at age two, although will be continued to be monitored – hopefully she won’t need any more surgeries in the future.

Precious beginnings

Savvy Swimmers

Did you know that babies can start swimming from birth? Emily Elphinstone finds out the benefits of baby swimming, and what to consider before you hit the pool

After spending nine months floating in the womb, babies feel right at home in the water, and though they have to learn the physical skill of swimming just like the rest of us, they do have natural reflexes such as holding their breath underwater which help them to take to it with ease.

In fact, according to the experts at Water Babies, it’s far more common for babies and small children to experience ‘the water wobbles’ between eight to 24 months: “It’s a common developmental phase … don’t worry: they will come out of it, and everything they learned and loved before will come back. Often, our most confident little swimmers are the ones who’ve been through the worst of the wobbles and come out again the other side.”

What are the benefits of baby swimming?

1. It helps your baby’s health and development Swimming with your baby also provides a complete physical work-out, strengthening your baby's heart and lungs and supporting brain development by stimulating the five senses.

According to a 2009 study by the Norwegian University of Science & Technology Being, babies who swim have better balance, and can grasp objects more easily.

2. It teaches water safety Tragically, more than 150 deaths are caused by accidental drowning in Ireland per year. Though this doesn’t lessen the

Precious bonding time in a bubble of splashy fun!

There’s nothing quite like the feel of your baby’s skin against your own. It’s one of the best things you can do to bond with your baby and being in cosy warm water enhances those cherished moments.

Let’s teach your baby to swim!

Classes held across Ireland

Our world-class teachers are trained to tune in very carefully to the needs of both you and your baby, and experts at helping little ones to progress at their own rate.

To give your baby a splashing start visit waterbabies.ie

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Precious beginnings

amount of supervision or safety awareness your little one needs, teaching your baby vital safety skills such as staying calm in the water, learning to get to the side, hold on, and get out, could help to save your child’s life one day.

Remember: Babies can drown in just 5cm of water. To keep them safe, never, ever leave young children unattended near water, and make sure you are always within arm’s reach.

5. It promotes bonding Skin-to-skin contact strengthens the bond between you and your child, and spending time together in the pool is a great way to do this. You’ll get quality one-to-one time with each other, which can be particularly enjoyable as a way to get out of the house, to bond without your attention split with other siblings, and it can be great for dads who don’t get to breastfeed.

3. It boosts confidence Introducing your little one to the water at a very young age helps prevent a fear of water developing later. Exercises that involve moving independently in water and holding on to the side are wonderful for your baby’s confidence. This can start with you supporting your baby in the bath, but can be fully realised as you spend time together exploring the water both above and below the surface in the pool.

What do I need to know before swimming with my baby?

4. It develops their learning skills Even learning is a skill that can be developed, and swimming classes, with their new stimuli, and simple repetitions can help to sharpen your baby’s mental skills and increase their levels of understanding. In fact, A German study

by Professor Liselott Diem, of the German Sports Centre, Cologne, found that swimming babies had advanced motor development, social skills and intelligence.

Don’t forget: • Babies use every instinct to pick up Swim nappies (take some spare) • Your swimwear and goggles/hat if needed) • Towel for you and your baby • Changing mat • Nappy bag • A snack or bottle for afterwards

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Health & wellbeing Babies can’t regulate their temperature like adults, so it’s very important to make sure they don’t get too cold. According to the HSE, if your baby is under 3 months of age or weighing less than 5.5 kgs (12lbs), you should make sure the pool is heated to at least 32° C. For babies over 3 months of age, water should be at least 30°C. You can also get a baby wetsuit to help your little one stay warm enough. As soon as your baby starts to shiver, get him out of the pool and wrap him up warmly. Babies lose heat more quickly than adults, so they shouldn't stay in the pool for too long.

If your baby seems unwell, it’s best to avoid swimming. Ideally, you should wait until he has been clear of symptoms for at least 48 hours. The HSE advises that ‘if your child had diarrhoea, wait for two weeks after it clears before letting them go swimming again.’

S Swim nappies It’s important to avoid using ordinary disposable nappies while swimming – not only will they not do their job properly, they also soak up vast amounts of water, leaving you with a very heavy baby! There is also the risk of saturated nappies splitting open, which would contaminate the pool.

Instead, use a special swim nappy.

Some pools also ask parents to add a fitted neoprene nappy over the top, to ensure no accidents occur, so check with the swim instructor or pool you plan to use ahead of your first visit.

Top Tips For Baby's First Visit To The Swimming Pool: Whether you’re taking your baby to the pool on your own, or to structured classes like Water Babies, make sure your first visit is a positive, gentle introduction to this multi-sensory world.

• If you are starting lessons, try to take your baby to the pool before the first one. Spend time on the side getting them used to the noises, colours, splashing and general hubbub of the pool environment – these will all be much louder than at home!

• Make sure you check the pool temperature – it should be at least 32 degrees if your little one is under three months old or less than 12lbs in weight, 30 degrees if they’re older or heavier – and think about investing in a baby wetsuit if necessary.

• As you enter the pool together for the first time, smile and talk to your baby to reassure them it’s a fun experience! It’s really important that you are calm and positive as they’ll take their cues from you.

• Get your shoulders under the water and hold your baby so the water covers their chest. Through the session, try alternating between holding your baby very close, with lots of reassuring skin-to-skin contact, then at arm’s length so they can move freely and feel a bit more independent.

• Babies tire easily in the water, so restrict your first visit to around 20-30 minutes and make sure you have a hat and warm, cosy towel for afterwards.

It’s normal for them to be hungry and tired after swimming, and not unusual for them to sleep for a couple of hours as well – definitely an added bonus to a successful trip! www.waterbabies.ie

Just for you @ Next

nal o i t a ir Insp ice and adv ation m infor for you only

In this section 74 Beauty tips for mums 76 Mum’s fashion 78 The Newborn Identity 80 Mums’ books easy parenting | 73

Just for you

w e n s ’ t a h W in beauty?

Skin Saviours

Have you heard of the new My Clarins range, the new generation of skincare products, which deliver the best nature has to offer for healthy-looking skin? With 88% ingredients of natural origin, and vegan friendly, the nine day/night products hydrate, balance and enhance all skin types. We love the Purifying Micellar Cleansing Milk, and the Relaxing Sleep Mask! RRP from €17, available from department stores and selected pharmacies nationwide.

Beauty busters

Beauty nerds will love the new beauty shield collection from e.l.f. which is designed to fight against the effects of everyday aggressors, such as pollutants and sun exposure. There’s even a ‘magnetic mask kit’ which uses an iron-based formula and magnetic tool to lift the product from the face, without even touching it. This helps extract impurities, brighten skin and minimise the appearance of pores, plus feels like actual magic!

RRP from €16.95. Available in selected pharmacies and department stores nationwide.

Nail Nutrition

Anyone who suffers with weak or flaking nails will love the CND cult classics Rescue RXX and Solar Oil, which have just been released in a handy, easy to use, pen form, giving the same conditioning and strengthening treatments with precise appication that can be used any time with zero mess. Choose CND RescueRXX to help damaged nails feel stronger and more hydrated, or CND SolarOil which uses a blend of jojoba, rice bran and sweet almond oils to keep your cuticles in top condition, and promote healthy nail growth RRP: €15.95/ €14.95 from professional salons nationwide.

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Spring Citrus

Let your skin radiate this Spring, with Mellow Mandarin Moisturiser from Bia Beauty – the multiaward-winning brand which offers a range of ethically sourced and natural products.

This handmade, luxurious natural facial moisturiser is suitable for all skin types, and is even gentle enough for sensitive skin. Plus it smells magnificent!

RRP €18.95, available in selected stores and health food shops nationwide.

Chic Shadows

If you’re all about the eyes when it comes to your makeup routine, creating a statement eye look just got easier with Penneys’ new ps… eyeshadow palette collection. The collection includes three highly pigmented 12-pan eyeshadow palettes – ps…tropical storm, ps… nude basics and ps…gold rush.

With shades to suit every occasion for only €6. Available from Penneys stores nationwide.

Just for you

and reactivate any product already in hair, then blow dry for 30 seconds for it to look as good as new. If you’ve run out of dry shampoo, sprinkling a little talcum powder onto your roots and brushing out can help stop it looking greasy.

Fast fixes One of the biggest changes you’ll experience once you become a mum, is how little time you have to yourself. Get a straightforward beauty routine that works as hard as you do.

1. Straggly brows After cruelly mistreating our eyebrows in the 90s, we’ve discovered what an asset they can be to the face. But no need for high-definition, simply clarify your natural shape with an eyebrow pencil, or tidy stray hairs with a gel or brush. It’ll help you look more put together in a matter of moments! Look out for fine pencil/pen tips for precision, and products with a brush attached, so you don’t have to search for multiple tools. easy parenting loves: The NYX Professional Makeup Micro Brow Pencil is a dual-ended brow pencil, with an ultra-fine pencil crayon at one end and a brush at the other, to give your brows a naturally defined look. It comes in 8 shades, with a RRP of €11.

2. Breakouts Don’t pick your spots! It may sound obvious, but once you get a pimple the temptation may take over. But don’t pick at your spots: It can cause inflammation and infection, it spreads bacteria, and makes everything look a whole lot worse than before.

5. Too much blusher Instead, try a topical treatment such as PS…Beauty Pore Balance Blemish Rescue Stickers (RRP €4 in Penneys stores nationwide) which can even be worn under makeup! To help prevent further outbreaks, wash your makeup brushes, pillowcase and face cloths regularly, stay hydrated, and use products suitable for your skin type.

3. Don't pick your spots Love dramatic eyeliner? If you have trouble getting a straight line, hold the liquid-liner pen horizontally, so you’re applying colour with the broader side of the tip instead of the fine point, and press it into the lash line. This way you can line your eyes in three to four quick stamps instead of one wobbly line. To fix mistakes, use a cotton bud dipped in makeup remover, or wait for it to dry and use a flat makeup brush to tidy edges with concealer. easy parenting loves: Kat Von D is the queen of dramatic makeup, so you’ll love her Tattoo Liner which is waterproof and smudgeproof or try her Ink Well long-wear Matte eyeliner which comes in six dramatic colours. RRP €21 available in Debenhams stores, or online.

4. Hair that needs a lift If your hair needs more body a day (or two) after a wash, don’t pile on more product. Spritz it with water to dampen

Just as you finish doing your makeup, you apply too much blusher! There's no need to start from scratch, try dusting with some translucent facepowder to tone down the colour, or if that doesn’t work, apply a little foundation and blend in. To minimise risk, tap your brush to remove excess product before applying. You might find that different shades suit better at different times of year.

Need to buy yourself some time? Give your little ones a plastic wide tooth comb, lip balm, and cheap make up brushes to play with while you get ready, so they can copy mummy without risking the loss/breakage of the one nice brush you had!

6. No time to get your roots done Though we should be reassured by the knowledge that you are always more aware of your roots than other people are when you haven’t dyed your hair for a while, having your roots showing can give your confidence a knock.

Root touch up products are available in powder, spray, and brush form (a little like a mascara brush) and can help buy you time when you can’t head to the salon.

L’Oreal Magic Retouch gets glowing reviews time and again. RRP €13.29 available nationwide. If you get highlights, request Half A Head but ask your stylist to spread out the colour more, so your root regrowth won’t be as dramatic. easy parenting | 75

Just for you

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1 Denim Midi Shirt Dress €67 @ M&S

pair throwing on a e ’r u o y r e th e Wh ring ainers, or wea of jeans and tr ork, there’s the w a shirt dress to yle for everyone. st perfect denim be? rs u o What will y

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2 Black Molly Jeggings €50 @ River Island 3 Classic Denim Shirt €35.99 @ Mango 4 Denim Zip Boilersuit €25 @ Penneys 5 V By Very Pink Wash Skinny Jeans €38 @ Littlewoods 6 Wide Leg Jeans €59.99 @ H&M 7 Maca Denim Jacket €49.99 @ Mango 8 Denim SleevelessTop €39.95 @ Zara 9 Rust Denim Mini Skirt €32 @ Dorothy Perkins 10 Vintage Mom Indigo Shorts €13 @ Penneys

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Just for you

the newborn identity Author and illustrator Maria Boyle divulges the details of her twins’ birth story in this excerpt from her book The Newborn Identity – Revelations from the first year of parenting

I’ve realised that childbirth is like losing your virginity:The end result is the same but everyone’s story about the event itself is different. I went into giving birth the way I go into most things in life: Fairly clueless but willing to give it my best shot.

My birthing story, where I managed not to poop myself.

When I was 37+1, I was told I’d be giving birth to my twins by hook or by crook. Turns out they literally meant by hook, as I had my waters broken at about ten in the morning on 15 July. My

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Pilates teacher, Rachel, had told us that when waters break it doesn’t happen like it does in the movies – it’s not this big flood of liquid, apparently. Well, in my case, it was as if my labour had been directed by Michael Bay: My waters absolutely poured out of me. So much so that the midwife actually made a note that it was a lot, then kept telling the other midwives it was a lot. All while I’m standing there like something you’d see in Yellowstone National Park.

After that they wanted to see if my contractions started naturally, which involved me fannying around on an exercise ball for two hours. It wasn’t enough so I was given an oxytocin drip

PreciousJust beginnings for you

and then, an hour later, an epidural and Colm was told to deflate the ball he’d spent five minutes inflating.

Initially the epidural made my blood pressure crash so rapidly I passed out, but after that there was a lot of waiting around, lying on a bed having the twins monitored, just waiting.

I have to say, the staff were amazing during all this. I spent the whole day in the birthing suite being monitored, and after a lot of oxytocin and contractions. I got to 10cm dilated at half past midnight. I can’t lie, I was knackered and the pushing part hadn’t even started.

‘OK, we’re going to get you to push now.’ ‘What do I do?’ ‘Push against your bum.’ It turns out that labour is a lot like pregnancy Pilates. I had a nice woman telling me to use muscles beyond what was comfortable, for longer than was comfortable, and it involved a lot of breathing. Although pregnancy Pilates does require that you wear pants and no one puts their hand up you during plank.

At one point during the labour, my

temperature went up to 38°C and MaJu started to become distressed.

‘We need to cut you to help this along.

Is that OK?’ I said yes. If I’d been told, ‘We need to feed you fifty hotdogs to help this along’ I would have said, ‘That’s a bit unconventional, but sure.’

I just wanted the twins to be OK. After CoJu came out, she was handed to Colm, who held her against his bare chest, like they were a poster from the 1990s.

I had to prepare for round two, but I was still worried about MaJu. She’d been presenting breech before I went into labour. The doctors warned me that if she stayed that way it would be

fine, but if she moved in some weird position I’d need a C-section, and I was OK with that. They’re scanning me, trying to see her position and I’m nervous and worried. Then they say it: she’s flipped spontaneously to a head-down position, the little beauty.

She was born with much less effort (my fanny basically a swing door by this stage) twelve minutes after her sister.

Now they were in the world, they were no longer CoJu and MaJu. We named them alphabetically in order of appearance: Bronagh and Roisin. They weighed 5lb 14oz and 5lb 10oz. They were out, they were healthy.

The Newborn Identity

by Maria Boyle aka Twisteddoodles is published by Transworld Ireland, out now. Above illustrations by Maria Boyle. easy parenting | 79

Just for you

d a e r l u f p l e Ah

d lifestyle books The latest parenting an

Know Your Baby Poo

A Parent’s Guide by Matt Roach (Vermilion)

Most new parents become obsessed with poo – and for good reason. You can find an incredible array of colours in a nappy, and understanding it is key to a baby’s health. Paediatrician-approved and full of top tips and remedies, this unique and witty swatch book turns the ‘poo palette’ into a source of amusement. Featuring 16 types of turd including Lumpty Dumpty, Peanut Butter Smelly Time and Nuclear Bum, this guide is a perfect gift for any parent with a sense of humour. And to survive parenthood, you’re going to need one. RRP €8.03

Get Running Forget the gym, get fit, have fun

by Mary Jennings (Gill Books) Get Running is the ultimate handbook for runners of all levels, providing you with everything you need to know about running.

With step-by-step chapters, Personal trainer, nutritional and running coach. Mary Jennings distils her experience and enthusiasm into a practical guide that demonstrates just how fun and rewarding the sport can be.

Filled with testimonials, photos and examples from Mary’s many happy runners, this is an indispensable companion for any runner. RRP €16.99 80 | easy parenting

The Positive Habit 6 Steps for Transforming Negative Thoughts to Positive Emotions

by Fiona Brennan (Gill Books) The Positive Habit is a transformative book that helps readers embrace their negative thoughts and cultivate a positive mindset, through six practical steps, which are grounded in the science of habit, mindfulness, positive psychology and neuroscience. Accompanied by an audio-hypnotherapy meditation plan, The Positive Habit will help to transform your mental health.

RRP €16.99

The Pelvic Floor Bible – Everything you need to know to prevent and cure problems at every stage in your life

by Jane Simpson (Penguin Life) Jane Simpson will show you how to incorporate pelvic floor exercises as part of your daily routine in order to prevent issues in later life and cure existing problems now.

Learn how to treat common problems such as stress incontinence, overactive bladder and prolapse, get back into shape post-pregnancy, and enjoy a healthy sex life at every stage of your life. RRP €11.71

Potty Training Magic

by Amanda Jenner (Vermilion) Toilet training expert Amanda Jenner’s five-day plan, with no need to take time off work, will help you to: • know when your toddler is ready and how best to prepare • see the world through your toddler’s eyes • overcome setbacks including regression, constipation and fear of pooing • what is the secret to dry nights how to deal with chronic bed wetting • what to do if your child is still in pull-ups when they start school RRP €6.92

@ Penneys

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d e an s c i v Ad or kid f tips ive years f aged beyond and

In this section 82 Allergies: Tips and solutions 86 How to keep your home clean when you have pets 88 Kids’ clothes 90 Here’s the good stuff 92 Parenting truths easy parenting | 81

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t u o b a l l A s e i g r e l l a

Find out about the most common types of seasonal allergies and how to soothe uncomfortable symptoms

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early a third of the population are said to suffer from some type of allergy, with at least 10% of children and young adults suffering from more than one allergic disorder.

An allergy is an adverse reaction that the body has to a particular food or substance in the environment. Most substances that cause allergies are not harmful and have no effect on people who are not allergic.

Some people may inherit a tendency to be allergic, which doctors describe as being atopic. Allergies begin when you are exposed to something that triggers an allergic response in the body.

• Eczema (also called dermatitis) can affect the skin causing itchy, red rashes. Allergic contact dermatitis (a condition which is caused by the skin coming into contact with an allergen, such as nickel) is characterised by red, scaly skin that itches where it has made contact with the allergen.

• Asthma affects the respiratory system, causing wheezing, breathlessness, chest tightness and a cough.

• Allergies to some foods, bites or stings can cause urticaria (itchy blisters and red patches on the skin).

• Abdominal pain, vomiting and diarrhoea can also be symptoms of a food allergy.

Symptoms of allergies: Allergy symptoms depend on which part of the body is affected. For example; • Hay fever (also known as seasonal allergic rhinitis, because it is mainly triggered by pollen) affects the eyes and nose, causing sneezing and a blocked, itchy or runny nose.

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The most common children’s allergies are: • grass and tree pollen (hay fever) • dust mites • animal dander (tiny flakes of skin or hair) • food allergy (particularly fruits, shellfish and nuts)

How to prevent hay fever symptoms According to the HSE, it's very difficult to completely avoid pollen or spores.

However, reducing your exposure to the substances that trigger your hay fever should ease the severity of your symptoms. Follow the advice below to avoid being exposed to excessive amounts of pollen and spores: • Avoid cutting grass, playing or walking in grassy areas, and camping.

• Wear wraparound sunglasses to stop pollen getting in your eyes when you are outdoors.

• Change your clothes and take a shower after being outdoors to remove the pollen on your body.

• Try to stay indoors when the pollen count is high (over 50).

• Keep windows and doors shut in the house. If it gets too warm, draw the curtains to keep out the sun and keep the temperature down.

• Do not keep fresh flowers in the house.

• Vacuum regularly, ideally using a machine with a HEPA (high-efficiency particulate air) filter.

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These four tips can help to prevent the symptoms of hay fever:

Soothing allergy

symptoms Find out how to prevent and relieve your little one’s allergy symptoms

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constant runny/blocked nose, itchy eyes and disrupted sleep – the symptoms of hay fever can be really unpleasant for children to put up with. It's little wonder then that some parents dread the hayfever season, as they know their little ones who are prone to allergies will have to suffer through the symptoms. So it’s important to try and prevent and soothe their discomfort as much as we can.

A type of allergic reaction, hay fever happens when pollens and dust mites in the air get into your nose and eyes, which can cause inflammation. It usually affects the nose, face, sinus passages, eyes and throat.

Hay fever occurs at particular times of the year. Known as seasonal rhinitis, it has the same symptoms as perennial (year round) allergic rhinitis, but occurs as a reaction to pollen from grass, trees and weeds during the early spring and summer months (between May and October).

How will I know if my child has hay fever?

Common symptoms to watch out for: - Your child rubbing their eyes because they’re itchy.

- A runny nose with clear, rather than thick mucous.

- Sneezing.

If you notice that your child suffers from the above symptoms outside of hay fever

season, they could have an allergy to dust mites or pet fur. It can be hard to tell the difference between the symptoms of hay fever and the common cold. Cold virus symptoms can cause very similar symptoms to seasonal rhinitis, but with allergies your child won’t have a temperature and the symptoms won’t clear up after a week or so.

How can I soothe my child’s hay fever symptoms?  Wiping your child’s eyes with clean cotton wool and cool water can soothe symptoms.  Smear a little bit of petroleum jelly around your baby’s nose as this can help prevent pollen from getting into the nasal passages.  Saline nasal sprays are an effective treatment for hay fever, especially for a blocked nose. Your child can use them safely throughout the pollen season for seasonal hay fever, or throughout the year for perennial hay fever.

Sterimar Breathe Easy Baby is a 100% natural purified sea water based gentle micro-diffusion, which disperses the solution into very fine droplets, coating the inside of the nasal passages to ensure easy breathing. The Breathe Easy Baby nozzle fits safely and comfortably inside your baby’s nose and will continue to work at any angle to

1 Monitor pollen forecasts daily and stay indoors wherever possible when the count is high (generally on warmer, dry days). Rain washes pollen from the air so counts should be lower on cooler, wet days.

2 Listen out daily for the pollen count on Classic Hits (94 - 105FM) from April to July – brought to you by Sterimar.

3 On high pollen days, shower and wash your hair after arriving home and change your clothing.

4 Avoid drying washing on a clothes-line outside when pollen counts are high.

Source: Allergy UK www.allergyuk.org ensure an easy and stress free application.

Breathe Easy Baby Isotonic solution contains no preservatives or additives and is suitable to use from birth to three years.

Sterimar Kids Congestion Relief is a 100% natural purified sea water based solution that is completely free from drugs and preservatives. Sterimar Kids Hypertonic solution, rich in sea minerals and copper salts, helps to gently relieve congestion. The special nozzle is safe to use and can be used from any angle to disperse the solution in very fine droplets.

The Sterimar range is available in pharmacies nationwide. Go to www.sterimarnasal.co.uk to find a retailer near you.

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• Damp dust regularly. Dusting with a wet cloth, rather than a dry one, will collect the dust and stop any pollen from being spread around.

• Keep pets out of the house during the hay fever season. If your pet does come indoors, wash it regularly to remove any pollen from its fur.

• Do not smoke or let other people smoke in your house. Smoking and breathing in other people's smoke will irritate the lining of your nose, eyes, throat and airways, and can make your symptoms worse.

• Keep car windows closed. You can buy a pollen filter for the air vents in your car.

This will need to be changed every time the car is serviced.

• Use an air purifier. Air filters and purifiers clean the air and can reduce the number of asthma triggers such as pet dander (flakes of skin), mould spores, dust and tobacco smoke particles.

reaction and would confirm that you have hay fever.

A skin prick test may not be suitable if you are on certain medications, for example antihistamines, which will stop you having an allergic reaction, or you have significant eczema, as your skin may already be red or itchy, so an allergic reaction will not be noticeable.

In this case, a blood test may be necessary to confirm your diagnosis.

The use of commercial allergy testing kits is not recommended. The testing is often of a lower standard than that provided by the the health services in Ireland. Also, it is important that the results of the test are interpreted by a qualified professional who has detailed knowledge of your symptoms and medical history.

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Blood test

A sample of blood will be taken from a vein in your arm and tested for the presence of the Immunoglobulin E (IgE) antibody. If Diagnosing an allergy you have hay fever, your body produces Skin prick test this antibody when it comes into contact with pollen. If your blood test is positive for If your GP cannot diagnose hay fever IgE, this may confirm that you have hay from your symptoms alone, you may fever. have a skin prick test. This could be There are also blood tests for common done if you have hay fever symptoms all allergens, to determine if you may be year round (persistent allergic rhinitis), allergic to specific things such as grass as other substances could also cause pollen. your allergy, such as: Treating allergies • house-dust mites, Treatment for an allergy depends on • animals, which allergen is causing the reaction. For • chemicals, or some, avoiding the substance is usually • some foods. the best way to prevent allergic reactions.

Medical treatment for allergies involves This involves the tester pricking the surface of your skin with a needle that taking medication such as antihistamines, has a tiny amount of the allergen on it, decongestants or steroid sprays to control the symptoms. in this case pollen. This will introduce the allergen to your blood stream and, if Severe and life-threatening allergic you are allergic to it, you should have a reactions (anaphylaxis) are treated with adrenaline injectors. It is recommended reaction. that people who are at risk of experiencing If your skin around where it was anaphylaxis should wear a medical pricked starts to go red, swells up or becomes itchy, this could be an allergic information bracelet or some form of 84 | easy parenting

identification that has information about the condition.

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Ways to keep your pet-friendly home clean Tired of constantly cleaning up after your pets? Elsje du Toit finds out the best ways to keep your home fur and germ free

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pet is one of the most joyful and loving members any family can have. They make you laugh when you’re feeling sad and they keep you warm when it’s freezing outside.

But, unfortunately pets come with a price. Your beloved four-legged family member might be leaving all kinds of trails consisting of fur, mud and dirt around the house.

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So how can you keep your house clean without banning your furry friend from it? Here are seven easy ways to do so.

1. Groom your pets If your dog is muddy after a walk outside or some grass and sticks got caught in your cat’s fur, you should clean them up before they enter your home.

It might sound obvious, but dirt removed through grooming is dirt not

lying around the house.

It’s not a good idea to use pet shampoo too often as it can be damaging to their skin and fur, but a quick wash down with plain water can make a world of difference. Always make sure you use the right water temperature (too hot or too cold can be very uncomfortable).

And once you are done washing them, keep them in a confined area (preferably with a floor that’s easy to

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clean, like the kitchen) so that they can dry. Or better yet, thoroughly dry them afterwards with an old towel. Always wash the towel afterwards in warm water and soap and let it dry thoroughly before using it again.

Depending on the breed they may also require some trimming or de-shedding. Use a professional dog groomer for a thorough job.

2. Get a quality vacuum cleaner If you have a pet, your vacuum cleaner might be your home’s best friend. It helps if you have a good quality vacuum that will pick up pesky hairs and help banish odours. It should have an extra strong suction, a quality filter and a good brush action to pull hair out rather than glide over the surface.

Make sure you regularly clean out the filter as it will spread the smell of pet hair everywhere if it’s clogged with dirt and hair.

If your pet has a habit of lying on the furniture, look for one which can tackle upholstery too. If your dog or cat sheds a lot, you’ll need to vacuum daily in order to keep your house clean.

3. Buy easy to clean things for your pet Your pet should have a dedicated place to sleep in. So make sure you buy it a nice pet bed that’s easy to clean. It’s

nice to think that your pet will appreciate the decadent designed and extra fluffy pet bed you see in the shop, but it’s horrible to clean it.

Rather opt for a water resistant, easy to wipe down option. Give it a quick wipe down once a week and leave it out to air dry in the sun (if the sun’s shining, of course!).

The same goes for toys. Choose toys that you can throw in the washing machine or can quickly dip in soapie water and leave it to dry.

Cleaning won’t feel like that much of a chore if it’s easy.

4. Regularly clean your pet’s things Toys, pet beds, blankets and even leads and collars can pick up a strong pet odour if you don’t clean it regularly. If it’s machine washable, just throw it in the wash. Choose to wash it in hot water to get rid of all the germs. If it’s not machine washable, hand wash it in the sink.

Also try to keep the water as hot as possible.

If you’re lucky and the sun’s out that day, put it outside to dry as the sun kills bad odours.

5. Get durable furniture If you hate pushing your pet off the couch, you might think about upgrading it. The wrong material can act like a hair magnet, hold undesirable odours and show up the slightest stain. If you’re looking to buy a new sofa, look for leather or tightly woven materials, ideally in a similar shade to your pet’s fur. If your budget doesn’t allow you to have a new couch right now, just add a pet friendly throw. You can easily chuck it in the wash every week or so.

6. Quickly take care of accidents Let’s face it: It doesn’t matter whether your pet is house trained or not, accidents do happen. Whether they’re leaving their mark all over a new house you moved into, making a mess when they eat or leaving dirt all over the place the quicker you react to these accidents, the easier it is to remove it.

7. Air your home Even if it’s cold outside, it’s still so important to regularly open up the windows (even just for 10 minutes) every day to let in fresh air. It’ll also help to get rid of persistent pet smells and keep germs at bay.

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d n a t h Brigbeautiful s into spring Launch the kid light clothing d with bright an

1 Ted Baker Chino Shorts Navy Blue Dot Jacquard €36 @ Debenhams

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2 Mantaray, YG Embroidered Chambray Dress €36 @ Debenhams 3 Sweets Bomber Jacket, from €37; Sweets Jeans, from €31; Retro Heart Sunglasses, €9, Perdita Denim Jacket, from €31; Marlin Sweets Dress, from €37; Striped Espadrille Wedge Sandals, from €33 @ Monsoon 4 Boy Smart Chambray Trilby Hat, €13 Charlie 4PC Waistcoat Suit Set, from €72 Dustin 3PC Waistcoat Suit Set, from €72 @ Monsoon

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5 Blue gingham frill ls blouse €13.99 @ Mothercare 6 Create the future tee €9.99 @ Mothercare 7 3PK Tee SS €17.99 @ Mothercare 8 Stone roll up trousers €16.99 @ Mothercare 9 Blue Dino Aop Novelty Puddlesuit €26.99 @ Mothercare 10 Spot Jogger €8.99 @ Mothercare 11 @ Penneys 12 @ Penneys 88 | easy parenting

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Here’s the

f f u t S d o Go ing, The latest parent le products health and lifesty

Lie-flat car carrycot

Maxi-Cosi has launched a lie-flat car carrycot for newborns that complies with the highest safety regulations (R129). The Maxi-Cosi Jade combines the safety of a car seat and the sleep comfort of a carrycot. The perfect lie-flat position offers the ability for baby to travel comfortably and safely both during short rides and longer family trips. The Slide & Go installation offers an easy solution to go from the stroller into the ISOFIX system in the car in seconds, without having to disturb your little one.

Available from April 2019, the Jade is part of the 3way car seat family, a solution from birth up to four years in combination with the 3wayFix base, the Pebble Plus and the Pearl Pro i-Size. RRP €229.99

Let baby develop in style

The new black and white Magical Tales Collection from Tiny Love is the perfect choice for babies. With contrasting colours and bold graphics, these stylish products support development from day one and grow with your baby. No more deciding between style and development, this innovative collection helps your baby learn and explore, while being a stylish addition to any home.

The Magical Tales collection is designed with a contrasting black and white colour pattern that boosts visual stimulation and inspires babies to explore, learn and grow.

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Moisture magnet

Dermalogica’s new Prisma Protect SPF30 is a master multitasker. Its advanced formula does more than simply defend skin against UV light. Breakthrough antioxidant technology helps protect skin against free radicals and pollution – and advance moisture magnets deliver all-day hydration for smooth, radiant skin. Prisma Protect SPF30 comes in a 50ml tube (€70.00). Find it at authorised Dermalogica salons and skin centres and at dermalogica.ie

Mobile sleeping bag

Slumbersac's new range of sleeping bags are perfect for all the family. These gorgeous sleeping bags have been introduced as the result of receiving hundreds of request from mums to bring out an adult version of the sleeping bag with feet. Slumbersac’s infant sleeping bags with feet were introduced so that toddlers could enjoy the comfort and security of their sleeping bag while still being able to move about freely. Made from soft 100% jersey cotton, lined with 100% cotton and are padded with soft quick-dry polyester fleece, they are 2.5 tog and suitable for use all year round. The front zip provides easy access for breastfeeding and it's machine washable and tumble dry safe. The adult sleeping bags come in two sizes, and the child sleeping bags come in five sizes from 12-18 months to five to six

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Baby style at home

Søstrene Grene has launched their new safe baby care line and interiors for children. This collection will include a new highchair for children 3+, tents, floor cushions and other fairy-tale inspired interiors items. And as something entirely new – a bath and care series for babies. The collection will be available in stores from Thursday 2 May 2019.

All year sun care

After a long cold winter, it’s finally time to start thinking of how best to take care of our little ones from the strong UV rays. We tend to associate sun care with holidays and being abroad but we should be looking after our skin all year round, regardless of the weather. P20 Continuous Spray 150ml (€30) is an ideal sun care product for mums on the go. With a multi-angle spray technology, P20 Continuous spray makes applying sun protection to those hard to reach areas easier. The unique formulation protects against both UVA and UVB rays, providing broadspectrum sun protection.

Available from leading pharmacies and airports nationwide.

Dry skin relief

During this changeable weather, skin can become dry, taut and flaky, causing irritation. Avène’s trusted XeraCalm A.D range has been specially formulated for very dry skin prone to flaking and itching sensations. The gentle, yet deeply nourishing XeraCalm range contains only ingredients that are beneficial to the skin. At the heart of the formula, Avène’s Thermal Water, which soothes and cools the skin’s surface whilst respecting the skin’s natural flora. The range contains a minimal number of ingredients to minimise the risk of allergy. The gentle XeraCalm range contains three products: XeraCalm Cleansing Oil, XeraCalm Cream and XeraCalm Balm and can be used on babies, children, adults and pregnant women. XeraCalm Balm RRP 200ml €22.50, XeraCalm Cream 200ml €20, XeraCalm Oil 400ml €19.

Splashy fun

Designed by trusted baby safety swimwear brand Splash About, Splash Jacks are soft, tactile water toys ideal for teething babies who like to put everything in their mouths.

Splash Jacks don’t have an air hole for water to enter and create a build-up of black mould, they are made from all-natural rubber, free from toxins BPA, PVC and Phthalates and dyed using food grade paint that won’t flake. With an RRP of €11.65 for a pack of three, Splash Jacks are designed to stay afloat making them perfect toys for the pool or in the bath. www.splashabout.com easy parenting | 91

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Parenting truth:

It’s just a phase Geraldine Walsh looks at the many different phases that our kids experience, and how these stages can strangely offer comfort to parents

“

It’s just a phase” runs around my head. This parenting mantra gets me through those days when the house is turned upside down by the tornado that is my almost two year old. She hit the terrible twos early, which makes her by no means terrible but certainly creates some interesting moments as boundaries are tested and the barometer on my patience reaches boiling point.

It won’t last forever Repeatedly saying “it’s just a phase” makes it a little easier to get through the awkward challenges of parenting, which appear as quickly as they vanish, leaving us in the dust cloud of childhood phases and stages.

Knowing it will end, and that she won't always be the puzzling and unfathomable toddler she is now, sometimes helps.

Not always but the mantra is said weekly, if not daily. We say, “it’s just a phase" when we need consolation that whatever parenting nightmare we’re going through will end. We say it so our childless friends might understand that our kid is not demon spawn, and can, at times, restrain themselves from throwing regurgitated food at the dog. It happens.

It’s a way to vocalise that we’re finding these days more challenging 92 | easy parenting

than others but it’s not the norm and beyond this awkward moment is our cute and funny kid who draws stick men with no body and arms poking out of their head. Adorable.

Phases can offer comfort Blaming some of our kids' hard behaviours on irrational and demanding phases makes it easier to feel like we’re not failing. And we absolutely are not. We survive parenthood one disaster at a time.

And by disaster I mean, we fight the mess, we challenge the tiredness, and we raise the strong willed personalities we crave to see more of.

The phases our kids go through are incredibly contrite but wonderfully nurturing as they challenge the world and become the people we love and know.

So we have to go through the newborn stage of discovering who this little bundle of blankets is with a fear of the unknown and a love of discovering every inch of them through tired eyes. We find our way to the “no” phase, which is my favourite for the ridiculous things the toddler says no to. Especially as the flicker of realisation in her eyes notices she has said no to ice cream.

They will pass This is all because the word ‘no’ is the

new territorial marker of a pre-verbal tiny human getting to grips with boundaries.

The always wanting Mum phase is one of the hardest with rivers of tears, tremor inducing tantrums and the claw mark’s of a small bear cub.

But just like that it’s over. As are the always wanting to be carried or fed with a spoon phases before independence takes over.

Let’s not forget the biting, pinching and hitting phases which are repeatedly reported on due to the tattle tale phase and the crying at everything phase.

The grazing phase instead of eating full meals can leave us in the throes of frustration as we mentally add up whether the kid has eaten enough throughout the day. Will they starve? Of course they won’t.

Phases come and go and morph from one to the other. The challenges linger or grow as they get older, bigger, brighter and their demands change. But that is all they are. Challenges. Phases. Moments in time as our little ones learn and grow and love.

As they find their way to these phases, they find their way out.

Meaning they are getting older and bigger. Let’s linger in the phases just a little longer because when they’re gone, they’re gone.

In the Kitchen

ily Fam ng i cook tion ira insp

In this section 94 Springtime bites 96 Baby-friendly recipes

easy parenting | 93

In the kitchen

Lamb chop tray bake

Now that spring has finally sprung we can start putting a few lighter, fresher dishes on the meal plan. My lamb chop tray bake is filled with all the colours of the rainbow.

Uniting the flavours of roasted butternut squash, simple parsley and rosemary with the classic Irish lamb chop. An added bonus is, it's all baked on one tray so less washing up.

Two yummy springtime dishes from blogger and cookbook author Jolene Cox

Ingredients Serves 4 1 tablespoon of rapeseed oil 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 red pepper, seeded and sliced 1 yellow pepper, seeded and sliced 1 butternut squash, peeled and cut into chunky pieces 6 baby potatoes sliced in half 1 courgette, sliced 1 red onion, cut into wedges 4 lamb chops 1 tbsp parsley 1 tbsp rosemary Method 1 Preheat the oven to 220°C/200°C fan/ gas 7.

2 Scatter all the vegetables on a large baking tray. Chop and sprinkle over the herbs drizzle with oil and season.

3 Place on the middle shelf of the oven and Roast for 30 minutes, then give the veggies a good shake and put them to one side of the tray.

4 Season the lamb chops with a little salt and pepper (no need to oil them as they will release enough oil while cooking) Place them on the tray and return to the oven for 20 minutes (turning them after 10).

5 Garnish with another sprinkle of fresh rosemary and parsley and serve with some leafy greens.

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In the kitchen

Easter bunny cupcakes

Filling your Easter basket has never been easier with my quick and easy bunny cupcakes. Even the littlest of hands will enjoy putting the sprinkles on the bunny ears and adding the chocolate chip nose. It's the little jobs that make bake-togethers stress free and more fun for everyone.

Ingredients Makes 6 115g self-raising flour 115g butter

115g caster sugar 2 eggs 200g white chocolate 6 white marshmallows 6 chocolate chips 2 tbsp of coloured sprinkles Method 1 Preheat oven at 180°C/gas mark 4.

2 Measure all the ingredients into a large bowl cracking your eggs in last.

Mix well with and electric whisk.

3 Add a tablespoon of cupcake batter into cases. Bake in the oven for 20

minutes.

4 Meanwhile melt white chocolate in a bowl over a saucepan of boiling water.

Add two tablespoons of coloured sprinkles in to a flat plate.

5 Cut six white marshmallows diagonally. Get a little helper to press the sticky side of the marshmallow into the sprinkles.

6 Top each cupcake with a spoon of white chocolate. Stick two bunny ears on to each cupcake, using the melted chocolate as glue. Finish with a chocolate chip nose. easy parenting | 95

In the kitchen

Two delicious recipes from The Baby-Friendly Family Cookbook, by Aileen Cox Blundell

Veggie-Loaded Bolognese

Serves 2 adults and 2 children We make this dinner every single week without fail. All of the children love it (even their friends who don’t like veggies). This recipe is for a double batch, but you could even make a triple batch and freeze to have on hand for busy days.

y l d n e i r f y b Ba s e p i c e r y l i m a f

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800g (28oz) good quality spaghetti 4 tbsp olive oil 2 large white onions, finely diced 4 cloves garlic, sliced 4 red peppers, diced 4 medium courgettes, diced 6 tbsp tomato purĂŠe 2 lemons, zest and juice 600g (4 cups) cherry tomatoes, halved black pepper, to season 40 fresh basil leaves, finely chopped 1 Cook the spaghetti as per the pack instructions, making sure it is al dente.

2 Heat the olive oil in a large pot over a medium heat, then add the onion and cook for a few minutes until it becomes translucent.

3 Add the garlic, peppers and courgettes and cook for a few more minutes, until the vegetables start to soften slightly.

4 Add the tomato purĂŠe, lemon zest and juice, cherry tomatoes and pepper, then stir well. Bring the mixture to a bubble, stirring often. When the tomatoes soften and become saucy, remove from the heat.

5 Stir in the basil leaves, and serve over a bed of spaghetti.

In the kitchen

Toddler-And-Kid-Approved Banana And Walnut Muffins

Makes 24 mini and 4 large muffins This recipe is a huge hit on the Baby-Led Feeding website so it really had to go into the book. While these muffins taste sweet, they are actually completely sugar free and perfect for babies, toddlers and teenagers too.

Make a large batch and freeze!

300g (2 cups) plain flour 2 tsp baking powder 60g (½ cup) walnuts, ground 3 bananas, chopped 250ml (1 cup) milk 2 eggs 60ml (¼ cup) rapeseed oil 1 tsp vanilla extract 2 lemons, zest of 1 and juice of both

1 Preheat the oven to 170°C/340°F/gas 3. Add flour, baking powder and ground walnuts to a bowl and stir.

Make a well in the centre and set aside.

2 In a separate bowl, mash the bananas until smooth. Add the remaining ingredients and stir really well until it becomes creamy.

3 Slowly pour the wet mixture into the flour and whisk until fully combined and silky smooth.

4 Spoon the batter into a lightly oiled mini-muffin tin. I usually have enough batter left over to make 4 large muffins too.

5 Bake for 15–20 minutes, until browned and a wooden skewer comes out clean. Serve warm or cold.

MORE INFO In The Baby-Friendly Family Cookbook, Aileen Cox Blundell, mother of three and the creative force behind the popular Baby-Led Feeding blog, has created over 150 fuss-free recipes everyone in the family will love – from the smallest to the biggest and including weaning babies. Expand your range of dinnertime ‘go-tos’ with dishes like Slow-Cooker Stew, Moroccan Turkey Meatballs and Baby-Friendly Chicken Tikka Masala. www.babyledfeeding.com The Baby-Friendly Family Cookbook

by Aileen Cox Blundell is published

by Gill Books, RRP €19.99

easy parenting | 97

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In this section 100 Cheerful crocodiles 101 Crazy hair paper plate

easy parenting | 99

Crafts & Activities

Fun with Pipe Cleaners!

Use up those bags of pipe cleaners to make these fun crafts with the kids Crafts expert Sadhbh Devlin

CHEERFUL CROCODILES These cheerful crocodiles are so simple to make and need very few craft supplies.

They are perfect for little animal lovers.

Why not lay down a blue scarf for a river, some sticks and stones for texture and your little one will have lots of fun bringing their crocodiles for a swim!

You will need: Green Pipe cleaners Green Craft Sticks Googly-Eyes Black Pen Method: 1 Wrap one pipe cleaner around the centre of a craft stick in a zigzag shape, making sure to leave a length free at each end. These excess lengths will form one front leg and one back leg.

2 Repeat the first step – but in the opposite direction! Again, make sure to leave some excess on each end to form legs.

3 Twist the ends of the pipe cleaners in to form feet. Bend the legs slightly to make them more ‘lifelike’ and to help the crocodile stand up.

4 Add two googly eyes!

5 Add details, such as nostrils and a scaly tail, with your black pen.

100 | easy parenting

Crafts & Activities

CRAZY HAIR PAPER PLATE Have you got a budding hairstylist at home? This easy, non-messy craft will provide plenty of opportunities to create crazy hair styles! Make a few and open a mini hair-salon for them.

You will need: A Paper Plate Multi-coloured Pipe Cleaners A Hole-Punch Felt-Tip Pens Method: 1 Punch holes around the top half of the paper plate. There are 24 holes here (because that’s how many pipe cleaners I had!) but you can add more or fewer.

2 Turn the plate upside down so that the base faces upwards. Draw a happy face on the base of the plate.

3 Thread a short piece of each pipe cleaner into each hole folding it up to meet the longer length and twisting them together to secure.

4 When all of the pipe cleaners are in place it’s time to get creative! How many hairstyles can you design? Curly, straight, short, long, spiky, smooth - the options are endless!

About Sadhbh Sadhbh Devlin has always been told she has a head for hats. In truth, she only owns two hats, both woollen and shapeless. She does, however, wear many metaphorical hats. She is mother to five-year-old twin girls, wife to a very tall husband, a crafter, a party-lover, an avid photo snapper, a sometime production designer and soon-to-be TV presenter.

She writes about all of these hats and more at her award-winning blog www.wherewishescomefrom.com.

Find her on Twitter @wherewishes

easy parenting | 101

Crafts and activities

make a

SSnake

Dr Naomi Lavelle shows us how to create this simple bubble blower so you can make a whole string of bubbles, just like a bubble snake!

What to do:

You will need: • An empty plastic bottle (a small one is fine) • Scissors (and adult supervision) • An elastic band • An old sock or piece of cotton cloth • Food colouring and droppers (optional) • Bubble mixture (or water and washing up liquid) •A bowl

The science bit:

1 First get an adult to cut the end off the plastic bottle.

Place the sock over the (cut) end of the bottle and secure it in place with the elastic band.

2 If you want to add some colour at this stage place a few drops of different food colouring onto the end of the sock.

3 Pour some bubble solution into the bowl; you can make your own by adding some washing liquid to water and mixing slowly.

4 Dip the end of the bubble blower into the bubble solution, then lift it up and start to blow through the other end of the bottle.

5 You should see a snake of bubbles emerge from the other end of the bottle. Keep blowing to make your snake longer.

The sock acts like lots of little bubble wands. The fibres of the sock cloth are like the frame of the wands. When you blow into the bottle, the bubble solution gets stretched between these fibres, eventually breaking off into a bubble with a pocket of air trapped inside. All the tiny bubbles stick together and form a string of bubbles as you keep blowing. A single bubble will always form a round (spherical) shape, but when the bubbles join together they get straight sides and create shapes like a snake’s scales.

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sk A The expert team nine pages of expert advice

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from our expert panel

AVEEN BANNON

FIONA O’CONNOR

DR SARA O’BYRNE

YOU ASKED ABOUT:

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Inducing labour, and delayed cord clamping

What to do when you’re in a relationship and attracted to someone else

Losing weight the sensible way when you’re a busy mum

The safe way to exercise during pregnancy

Helping a four year old to manage her emotions

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FITNESS

Fiona Ask

Physiotherapist Fiona O’Connor answers your questions pregnant women get at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity every week. The more active and fit you are during pregnancy, the easier it will be for you to adapt to your changing shape and weight gain.

Fiona is a chartered physiotherapist who specialises in women’s health.

About Margaret She has an MSc in Pelvic Floor Margaret Dunne is an accredited Dysfunction and is a certified pilates psychotherapist who specialises instructor. is based in and Kerry in fertility,She psychosexual Physiotherapy Killarney, where relationships in therapy.

She she runs post-natal pilates classes has twenty years’ experience and treats women for pelvic as a fertility counsellor and health issues.

She has alsoMargaret created Bye psychotherapist. has Bye Bump, in conjunction Bump appeared on variouswith radioThe shows.

Room, which is an online post natal www.sextherapydublin.com rehabilitation programme based on modified pilates and strength training.

Q

I am seven weeks pregnant, and this is my first pregnancy.

I’m a keen runner – I go out for three 10 – 15 km runs every week. I also cycle 5km to and from work every day. I haven’t gone running for the last two weeks since I first found out I was pregnant. Can I keep it up? And if I am advised to stop running, can you please recommend a fitness plan? Also, is it safe to cycle during pregnancy?

A

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (ACOG) guidelines recommend that

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The ACOG’s guidelines for exercise in pregnancy state that running is safe in pregnancy for most, as long as you: - Don’t have any warning signs - Don’t have a high risk pregnancy - Were running before getting pregnant - Get your healthcare provider’s approval

What are warning signs that I should stop running/exercising?

Stop exercising and call your obstetrician or other member of your health care team if you have any of these signs or symptoms: - Bleeding from the vagina - Feeling dizzy or faint - Shortness of breath before starting exercise - Chest pain - Headache - Muscle weakness - Calf pain or swelling - Regular, painful contractions of the uterus - Fluid leaking from the vagina

Considerations when running during pregnancy Exercise intensity Vigorous activity is not recommended within the Royal College of Obstetricans and Gynaecologists (RCOG) guidelines because there was insufficient evidence to

support it. It is recommended that you should be able to hold a conversation as you exercise when pregnant. If you become breathless as you talk, then you’re probably exercising too strenuously. Monitoring this while you run will ensure you are being safe.

You will find that you will probably naturally reduce your running speed as you progress through the pregnancy, but don’t worry, you will maintain fitness even if you cut back, as your body is working plenty hard on its own— boosting both blood volume and heart capacity.

Am I Comfortable?

A ‘listen to their body’ approach is recommended in pregancy. A general rule is if it feels pleasant keep going, if it is uncomfortable stop and seek advice.

Do you feel pain in your back, hips, pelvic floor, knees, ankles when running?

As you progress through your pregnancy and your baby grows, and your body shape and centre of gravity changes, you may feel that when you run you become uncomfortable or get pain in certain areas, so listen to your body.

You may experience sacroiliac pain – pain in the lower back that may radiate down one side, or round ligament pain, a sharp pain or dull ache in the lower abdomen.

The pregancy hormones can make some women sensitive to the impact of running so if you feel pain in your body it is probably best to stop and seek a lower impact option such as the cross trainer

or walking. If you are able to run easily, pain free and comfortable, these are signs that it’s safe to continue running.

A good sports bra is essential for running when pregnant as your breast tissue will enlarge as the pregnancy develops.

As your baby grows, there will be more pressure on your bladder and you might find that you need to go to the toilet more when running. This is okay, however if the pressure increases so much that you are leaking urine while you run, it is best to stop and you could be putting unecessary pressure on your pelvic floor muscles.

Cycling in Pregnancy There are no specific recommendations to avoid cycling in pregnancy, except for off road cycling. You do need to consider the route you take when cycling and the danger it poses to being knocked off.

You might need to change your route to include a cycle lane. If you are a good cyclist and have been riding for a few years and feel comfortable on the bike, keep cycling.

As the pregnancy progresses some women feel off balance as their centre of gravity changes. Use your head, if you start to feel unbalanced then a stationary bike is the safer option. Many pregnant ladies will do spinning classes throughout their pregnancy. You need to keep an eye on your exercise intensity when spinning.

Other exercise options in pregnancy There are now many pregnancy fitness classes around the country. These classes are designed to maintain your strength and fitness throughout your pregnancy.

Check out www.thebumproom.ie for nationwide pregnancy fitness classes.

Pregnancy Plates and yoga classes are

also great in pregnancy. A pregnancyappropriate Pilates routine focuses mainly on strengthening your core and lengthening your muscles with low- to no-impact, which will help ease backaches and improve your posture as well as your flexibility (and that all comes in handy during labour).

Pregnancy yoga is another ideal

workout for mums-to-be: It encourages relaxation, flexibility, focus and deep breathing — all great preparation for the marathon of birth.

Whatever you do, try not to be too hard on yourself when it comes to exercising, and don’t forget to have fun!

easy parenting | 105

Sara Ask

EMOTIONAL HEALTH

Senior clinical psychologist Dr Sara O’Byrne answers your questions on family and relationship issues

About Sara

Dr Sara O’Byrne (BA, MSc, D Clin Psych) is a Clinic Director and Senior Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years of experience working with children, adolescents and their families. Sara provides consultation, assessment and therapy services within a multidisciplinary team setting at the Treehouse Practice in the Beacon South Quarter. www.treehousepractice.ie

Q

My four-year-old daughter has a very strong personality – which is great but she’s prone to having temper outbursts when she doesn’t get her own way. She will scream, throw herself onto the floor, kick and hit when she doesn’t get what she wants. It normally happens at bedtime, or when we’re out shopping and she wants new toys/sweets.

The behaviour is happening every couple of days – and it’s quite stressful to manage. Her Montessori teachers have told

106 | easy parenting

me that it’s happened a couple of times in the classroom when she refuses to settle and focus on class activities. My mother seems to think that her behaviour is simply a sign of asserting her independence, but I feel concerned that it might be a behavioural issue and I wonder if I should seek help and advice from a professional. I also worry that if I do get professional advice, that she would end up being labelled. Her father and I have recently separated – he’s working overseas now so I know she misses him, so that’s probably not helping matters much.

Is there anything I can do at home to help her manage her emotions?

A

The first step in supporting your daughter is to try to understand the tantrums. You are already aware of multiple factors that might be at play and there is merit in all of your ideas. For many children, temperament is a factor, and you have pointed out that your daughter is a strong-willed little girl. For other children, tantrums coincide with a developmental stage in which there is a drive for increased independence, as your mother has identified. And other children will experience tantrums in response to transitions or changes in their life, such as parental separation.

There is a lot you can do to support her and also rest assured that if you are to seek professional help, a diagnosis or

label should not be the expected outcome.

Most psychologists and psychotherapists are there to support families with transitions, adjustments, and emotional and behavioural needs, diagnosis or not.

Carrying out your own assessment It might be useful to think of your daughter’s tantrums as both a reaction to a situation and as a form of communication. So, when she is in the midst of a tantrum she is likely experiencing strong emotions (frustration, rage, sadness, anger amongst them) but is unable, as yet, to express these feelings in alternative ways. Psychologists often use what is called a functional assessment to understand patterns for tantrums, and this is something you can easily apply at home. For a period of two to three days, keep track of your daughter’s tantrums in the following ways: A (Antecedent): What happened just before? Who was in the environment?

What was she doing?

B (Behaviour): What specifically does your daughter do/ say in the midst of a tantrum?

C (Consequence): What happens in the environment after the tantrum? How do you react?

You might be surprised with what you notice when completing this exercise.

For instance, are there particular times of day when tantrums are more likely?

Does your daughter seem to be trying to avoid certain situations? Do tantrums coincide with commands given by others? Equally, you will be interested

in her reaction to you during and in the aftermath of tantrums. For instance, does she seek comfort from you? Try to repair the situation? Do you give in? By being an observer of your child during these times, you will begin to build up a picture of what might be behind the tantrums.

the midst of a tantrum, and likely have not found this effective. Unfortunately our children are not particularly good at problem-solving mid-tantrum so save this for a time when this approach will be effective.

how she is feeling, there are some lovely resources (such as emotion flashcards, figurines, and role play) that will help her to learn more about feelings.

Building a toolkit

Making small modifications

Building a toolkit for managing difficult emotions is a fun and lovely next step to take. This will involve both you modelling how you calm yourself down when you are angry and upset and building up your child’s skills and sense of coping. For a child of your daughter’s age it would be lovely to depict these skills visually as well as verbally. For instance, make a physical toolbox with your child in to which you put drawings of the skills she can use when she feels an intense emotion. For example, it might be that you practice deep, relaxing breathing together, and make a sign for this to put into the box. You might also encourage your child to use words for her feelings. To help with this, it would be useful to introduce this language at home in general, so that you are describing situations in which you have felt certain emotions, in a child-centred way. For example, your child might hear you say that you felt frustrated when you couldn’t complete a new task straight away or that you felt sad when someone close to you died. This gives your child permission to talk to you and others about how she is feeling. If she needs any help verbalising

Since you have described a recent separation for you and your daughter’s father, it would be useful to look at her understanding of this situation.

This is a huge change not just for her, but for both of you as parents also.

Start by making sure that she has a narrative or story that makes sense of the changes for her, one in which she is aware that the separation is not her fault, and that you both get on better living separately but still love her just as much. You will likely need to revisit this story several times to ensure that she has things straight. If she has contact with her father, make sure this is regular and predictable. If possible, let her see that you can both communicate together as parents. Let her know that it is acceptable to feel sad, angry, and confused, and that you are here to help her with these feelings. Lastly, tune in to your own emotional needs at this time.

Children are often a sponge for their parents’ emotions at difficult times so if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and not able to manage, consider seeking support for yourself, as well as for her.

Supporting your child to avoid tantrums does not mean “giving in” to tantrums.

Rather, you want to make small changes to her environment so that she experiences times when she is in charge of her emotions, rather than the other way around. This is not always possible, since there are times when we need our children to listen to us, and follow our lead. However, when you have identified what the triggers are for her, you will start to make small modifications so that she has greater experiences of mastery and control. For instance, for a child who experiences tantrums when she has multiple tasks to complete, the change would be to break tasks down into smaller, more manageable chunks. In the case of a child who finds it difficult to move on from preferred activities to non-preferred, the modification might be to give her cues and warnings in advance of change.

When you are making these changes, it is also important to introduce strong reinforcement for alternative responses.

So, when your child successfully manages to avoid a tantrum, you will offer her praise, let her know you are proud of her, and remind her of what she has managed to do. Of course, modifications might also be needed to your own responses to her.

The most obvious one is a parent who gives in to the child’s demands in the midst of a tantrum, thereby increasing the likelihood that the child will re-engage in a similar behaviour. You might also find that you try to reason with your child in

Ensuring your child has a narrative for difficult life events

easy parenting | 107

CHILDREN’S DEVELOPMENT

Fiona Ask

Occupational therapist Fiona O’Farrell answers your questions about your child’s development

About Fiona

Fiona O’Farrell BSc. O.T. consultant paediatric occupational therapist specialising in baby development, sleep difficulties and premature babies. Validated

By Department of Health. Board Member for Irish Neonatal Health Alliance. Fiona is a mum of three and strives to reassure parents the best ways to give their child the best start in life and get a good night’s sleep. For one to one consultations and further information. www.fionaofarrell.ie

Q

My baby is two weeks old, and my public health nurse recently remarked to me that I should be speaking to my baby more. She said I should just chat away and talk about what I’m cooking for the dinner, and what the weather is like etc. I’m making an effort to talk – I’m a nervous first-time mum! My question is – how can I encourage my baby’s communication development at such a young age and over the next few months?

A

Firstly, congratulations, mum on the birth of your new baby and yes, as a new mum we can

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often feel overwhelmed and anxious around our parenting. Please be reassured you can not do wrong. Just by holding and chatting to your baby you will both really benefit in terms of bonding and for you getting to know your baby during those first few months is really important. Each baby is an individual and getting to know your baby will really help you be in a position to then respond to your baby’s needs.

In terms of the advice your public health nurse has mentioned to you, what she is really referring to is helping to develop your baby’s social communication and bonding process. However, you do not need to be constantly chatting to your baby and explaining to your baby what you are doing. This will only add extra pressure to you and your baby’s brain will not be able for all that constant chatting. There is a lot you can do however to help your baby’s development and more importantly at this stage the bonding process.

Your baby’s early experiences especially during the first three years of life form the basis for all future learning and development as well as helping your baby feel secure in an emotional way.

During your baby’s first three years of life your baby is constantly learning from his environment.

However, due to the immaturity of his brain development, your baby is not yet able to respond to his environment in an appropriate way.

He will use various means of non-verbal communication before he can talk to express how he is feeling. Your baby is dependent on you to observe and read his facial expressions to help him remain calm and content. Otherwise he will be prone to overstimulation which results in crying and stress for your baby.

Your baby will look at your face if it is within 8-10 inches from his face.

However, it is vital to observe your baby for signs that he is able to tolerate this interaction such as he continues to look at your face but when he looks away or arches his back you know he has had enough in the form of stimulation from your face.

• During the early months hold your face close to your baby’s face and smile often to your baby. When your baby is looking at your face exaggerate your facial expressions and coo and gurgle.

• When your baby begins to intentionally smile, return the smile to your baby.

When your baby begins to make throaty noises, repeat these to your baby all the while looking at your baby’s face and exaggerating your facial expressions to help your baby maintain interest in your face.

• When your baby babbles and laughs, look at your baby and repeat rather than interrupting your baby or talking with your friends or looking at your phone.

• Use a high pitched, sing-song type of voice when talking to your baby

• Sing to your baby and describe actions as you dress, bathe your baby.

• Include reading from an early age as part of your baby’s bedtime routine. During the early months choose a book which includes a picture with a single object and feely textures for your baby to touch.

Observe your baby’s facial expressions and body posture for indications your baby is able for

the interaction and is content or is becoming stressed and overwhelmed with the amount of stimulation and requires quiet, rest time.

Responding to your baby’s needs will help the development of later attention and concentration skills for preschool and later school.

While each baby develops at their own rate some faster and some slower.

I would advise parents to speak with their PHN or GP if they have concerns about any of the following: •Your baby does not smile by 10 weeks •Your baby continues to not engage in eye contact, continues to have few or very limited facial expressions or any signs of copying your throaty sounds, gurgles or copying your facial expressions example sticking out your tongue.

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David Ask

RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

David Kavanagh answers your questions about relationships

About David

David is a systemic family therapist based in Dundrum, Co. Dublin. He has more than 16 years’ experience as a family and sex therapist.

He has successfully worked with hundreds of couples. He offers professional advice for a subject he realises can be quite touchy for most. Therefore he strives to make his sessions comfortable, non-judgemental and of course confidential.

Q

My husband and I’ve been together since school. Then, after 10 years together, we got married. We’re 12 years together now and expecting a baby.

Recently I think I’ve been feeling attracted to one of our friends.

His wife and I are friends too, but whenever the four of us spend time together I find myself really attracted to him.

It’s not that I don’t love my husband anymore – I do, very much! Will these feelings for our friend pass over or is it something I should discuss with my husband?

I’m scared if I do, it might ruin who we are!

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A

Finding yourself in such a situation is a normal part of life – it’s completely understandable. A lot of people go through the same thing.

Blame your hormones You are pregnant which means your hormones often interfere with a lot of other aspects of your life.

Your hormones can be blamed for this as well as it can often affect a woman’s perception of her identity as a single woman, but also her identity of someone in a committed relationship.

Your husband’s probably feeling the same This is probably something that happens to your husband too. He had probably felt attracted to someone other than you too, he just hasn’t told you about it.

Like I mentioned before: Feeling these feelings of attraction for someone other than your partner is an absolutely normal part of life.

Should I tell my husband?

It’s probably best not to. These feelings come and go and if you’re going to make a big deal out of it, it might become more than what they actually are. Telling your husband about these feelings might leave hime feeling very shocked..

Remember you’re having a baby

together. Telling him about this can be damaging to your family.

The conversation I do think you and your husband should have – and everybody else who’s in a relationship for that matter – is asking one another whether or not you both find someone other than your partner attractive and why? Just do this on a friendly basis.

You both should know you’re committed to each other, but having this conversation helps the other to understand that it’s normal to feel attracted to someone else.

Another good conversation to have is what you find attractive in each other.

This can sometimes help you both remember why you fell in love in the first place.

When should I talk about it?

If you feel miserable and unhappy in your relationship, or you’re being abused, it’s understandable that you’ll find someone else attractive.

These are times you should speak up and talk about it as the relationship you’re in is damaging your mental health.

Aveen Ask

DIET & NUTRITION

Consultant dietitian Aveen Bannon answers your nutrition and diet questions

About Aveen

Aveen has practiced widely in hospitals both in Ireland and the UK prior to setting up the Dublin Nutrition Centre in 2003. She graduated from Trinity College with a BSc. (Hons) (Human Nutrition and Dietetics) and completed a business diploma in Smurfit Business School. She is also a current member of the I.N.D.I (Irish Nutrition & Dietetic Institute), is trained in the low FODMAP diet and has completed level 2 behaviour change training. Since setting up the Dublin Nutrition Centre Aveen has provided nutrition services to many health institutions including RehabCare, ARC Cancer Support Centre and the Marie Keating Foundation.

Tel: 01-6398852. E-mail: aveen@dnc.ie

(running and body weight exercises) and I really try to eat healthy (sometimes the occasional cookie or packet of crisps slip in, but not more than two or three times a week).

Should I cut out all the treats (even if it is only a few times a week)?

And what should I concentrate on more diet wise? How can I cook food and pack lunches for my whole family that’ll help me get to my goal weight? I’m so frustrated!

A

Firstly, well done on your exercise regime and I suppose I would encourage you to step away from thinking in terms of weight loss and

focus more on nourishing your body. Firstly look at your fibre and protein intake. Are you including some fibre rich foods at each meal and including protein at three meals per day and maybe one snack. Next look at your plate… is half your plate filled with vegetables/ salad at lunch and dinner time?

Are your portion sizes optimal?

Are you drinking plenty of water and are you eating at regular intervals. If you feel you are doing all of these things and still not getting the results that you want it might be a good idea to visit a dietitian to do a plan together.

Q

. I have a one-yearold baby girl and an eight-year-old boy and love them to bits. But ever since I gave birth to my second child, I’ve really been struggling to lose weight. I lost weight really quickly after my first and wasn’t even exercising that much – it was all with a healthy diet. I’m 30 now.

Can your age really have that much of an effect on your weight?

I exercise five times a week

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Lucy Ask

PAEDIATRIC SLEEP

Paediatric sleep consultant Lucy Wolfe answers your sleep questions

About Lucy

Lucy Wolfe, CGSC, MAPSC, is a Paediatric Sleep Consultant , Author of The Baby Sleep Solution and Mum of Four. She is the principal of Sleep Matters – Help Your Child Sleep, a private sleep consulting practice. With her 98% effective formula for sleep, she enjoys providing knowledge, expertise and valuable support with tailored sleep strategies for families across Ireland and beyond. Having completed extensive training and continued professional development with leading sleep specialists, she is the former European Director of the International Association of Professional Sleep Consultants. Lucy is a well known speaker at corporate events, nurse study days and seminars.

See www.sleepmatters.ie

Q

I have a 20-month-old boy who’s a really bad sleeper: He wakes up few times a night and screams for no reason. It’s not night terrors because he’s awake while he cries. We’ve been to the doctors and he’s fine, they said it’s just a bad habit, but we don’t know how to stop it. He never slept more than four hours in a row and it’s been an issue since he was a few weeks old. We have nights

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when we don’t sleep at all. What can we do to change this and start to break the habit, or how do we find out why it’s happening?

A

Once you have ruled out any under lying medical issues than what you are describing generally represents typical childhood sleep challenges that are caused bytwo major factors: 1. What your child associates with going to sleep at bedtime and what expectations are ingrained overnight and 2. The time your child wakes, naps and goes to bed.

If your child is parent-dependent at bedtime-this may be represented by anything that you do to help him sleep – drinks of milk, water or breast, rubbing or rocking or just patting him to go to sleep; this all may affect his sleep ability and

may mean that he wakes through the night needing more parental input. If this is relevant then it will be necessary to reduce the parent-dependency by establishing a bedtime routine and using my ‘Stay-And Support’ approach that helps you- to help him- gain a greater sleep ability at bedtime.

This can then be repeated through the night.

This works much better if you also have a regular wake time between 6am-730am,-a single nap at 1pm and a bedtime initially attempted at 6.45/7pm. This way you also address the biological time keeping component to sleep issues – by strengthening the timing and weakening the existing dependency; then within three to four weeks provided you are patient and predictable then better, more consolidated sleep is achievable.

Louise Ask

CHILDCARE

Childcare expert Louise Barrett answers your questions

affect how well she’s doing so far. Do you have any tips for dealing with siblings so close in age?

About Louise

Director of Childcare at Park Academy Childcare, Louise’s heart lies with working on impacting best practice for the children and families in their care.

She holds Early Years, Montessori, Forest Schooling and Management Qualifications, and is currently completing her B.A. Hons Degree in Early Childhood Education. In her spare time, she is busy caring for her three small children.

Q

I have two children with only 14 months between them.

They’re very close, and at home my youngest is constantly wanting to follow his sister around, and play with her all the time, which she gets frustrated with. Now he’s going to be starting crèche in a month or two, should I make sure they are in a different crèche, or at least a different room so they both get their independence?

I’m worried he won’t make friends his own age, and might

A

It is very natural for sibling rivalry to occur in all families. Although siblings can be the closest of friends, it’s rare to find a child who gets along perfectly with his or her siblings all the time. It is completely natural for your daughter to feel frustrated with her little brother.

Brothers and sisters fight – it’s just the natural ebb and flow of family life.

Different personalities and ages can play a role, but siblings also often see themselves as rivals, competing for an equal share of limited family resources (like the bathroom, telephone, or last piece of cake) and parental attention.

It is great that your daughter is starting crèche soon as she will enjoy spending time with her peers and engaging in more advanced play.

It will give her some independence away from the family home which should enable her to have more patience with her brother during home time.

Generally, children like to have a mixture of being the eldest who can take control of the game and being the youngest where they

are learning from older children (example neighbourhood street playing) but also from peer friendships where they feel equal and non-threatened. I don’t think it is necessary that your children should be in separate crèches. In fact I would think that this would be detrimental to their sibling relationship along with a logistical difficulty for you. With 14 months between them, I would imagine they will not be in the same room in crèche.

Perhaps you could meet with the creche manager and ask this question, you could outline your concerns and the crèche could create a care plan for the children to ensure they get some quality play without each other to promote independent friendships and relationships.

As a twin mum, I have never had the option to separate my boys. They were always together in crèche and school. Whereby it came with its own challenges, they have learnt lots of valuable life lessons to cope with all aspects of friendships and sibling relationships. I don’t think you have anything to worry about with your children, they will thrive with the additional dimension of preschool in their lives.

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Tracy

jkl,l MATERNITY & BIRTH

Ask

Tracy Donegan answers your questions about pregnancy and birth

About Tracy

Tracy Donegan is a midwife and author of the Irish Better Birth Book, and The Irish Caesarean and VBAC Guide, and founder of GentleBirth. GentleBirth is Ireland’s leading positive birth preparation programme. Available as a home study course or weekend workshop GentleBirth is changing the way women in Ireland give birth. GentleBirth provides you with the roadmap to a positive birth and helps you navigate and negotiate the Irish maternity system to stack the odds in your favour of having the best birth possible. www.GentleBirth.ie

Q

At 36 weeks, I’m nearing the end of my first pregnancy. I’m nervous that the baby will be overdue, and I’ll go up to 42 weeks.

Someone told me that eating curry or having sex can induce labour. Is this true? And is there anything I can do myself to bring on labour?

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A

Sometimes it can feel like time just stands still in those last few weeks of pregnancy. Just like your period labour is a hormonal process – and sadly no amount of hot curry, hot sex or hot baths can make it happen until your baby signals that it’s time to go. Full term is considered 42 completed weeks but that’s very hard to consider once your EDD comes and goes.

There is some research that eating six dates a day in the last five to six weeks of pregnancy can reduce the likelihood of you going past your EDD – but they are high in sugar so avoid if you have gestational diabetes.

Some mums swear by acupuncture and/ or reflexology – but the evidence is mixed and you’ll usually need to have several sessions. Hope your baby doesn’t keep you waiting too long!

Q

I’m 23 weeks pregnant, and if all goes well I’m really keen to have a natural birth. My friend told me about delayed cord clamping and said it apparently benefits a baby’s immune system.

Is it safe to do delayed cord clamping? And should I add it to my birth preferences?

A

Yes, this is an important preference to include – most midwives will automatically leave the cord for a few minutes so be sure to ask. New research suggests that even minutes benefits your baby’s brain. If you and baby are well you can enjoy that lovely skin to skin time meeting your baby while the cord goes white.

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