THE Motherload

How the global pandemic is impacting the well-being of mothers and their mental health...

Words SHERYL FRANKLIN

Becoming a mother at any time can take some adjustment. Whether it’s your first, second or third child, it’s not only the birth of a child, but a birth of a mother. A mother – that with each pregnancy, each birth; can be entirely different to the previous. It’s a given that each woman’s experience will not be the same, as motherhood is our own unique personal journey. It can be a struggle to adjust to a new identity, shift in priorities, work/ life balance when juggling a multitude of tasks. The ‘motherload’ is often eased by visits from loved ones, meeting with other mums in postnatal classes, a drink at a local café or taking a stroll in the park; allowing some time to breathe and get some kind of human interaction. When the global pandemic hit and the world came to a standstill, both expectant mothers and new mothers faced more challenges. For pregnant women, it was the fear of contracting Covid-19 and passing it onto their baby.

Not being able to have their loved ones present at check up appointments meant the mother standing alone. Partners missing out on scans of their child.

For new mothers, it was similarly the fear of contracting Covid-19, but also the lack of support. Less medical support, social distancing restrictions in place meant less human interaction and connection.

The saying that ‘it takes a village’ to raise a child... what happens when there isn’t a village in place? The mother is unfortunately alone, with only immediate family household members available to support. Even in this instance, a partner’s due attention may have not been there as more people were having to work from home.

With pregnancy, the focus is entirely on the mother, her wellbeing and ensuring that she is happy and healthy, ready for the arrival of her little one. After birth, with the hormones, the sleepless nights, the feeling of huge adjustment, it can take a toll on a mother’s sense of ‘self’ and overall well-being. Without the right support in place, feelings of anxiety and sadness can creep in, leaving a mother in a challenging position and quite often alone and distressed with the demands of not only being a new mother, but the anxiety around a global pandemic.

There is now an increasing concern about Covid-19’s impact on mental health. Thousands of women are now in unprecedented circumstances, so, it’s no surprise that Pandas, the charity that supports mothers with pre and postnatal depression, saw a 75% increase in calls just 12 days after lockdown was announced.

Postnatal depression can be experienced at any time post birth. It most commonly occurs when the baby is around 4-6 months old. Symptoms can come on gradually or become debilitating quite quickly. During the pandemic, women have been experiencing the lack of support they need and in turn, it’s unfortunately having an impact on their mental health and well-being.

There has been a shift in the way we think about life in general, the value of human connection and looking after our health. The concept of ‘self-care’ has been around for a while now, however, there needs to be more attention paid to ‘postpartum self-care’ when PND figures are on the rise. If mothers do not attend to their physical and emotional wellbeing, as well as their newborn’s, the figures will only rise.

It’s vital that mothers take the time to adjust into their new role in these uncertain times and not put too much pressure on themselves. It’s time to think more about a mother’s well-being and putting self care as a priority, not just ‘when we have time’.

From my own experience, I suffered from both pre and postnatal depression. It really hit when my son was about four months old. The shift in identity was huge and the adjustment to motherhood was hard. My symptoms were mild, however, it lasted for about six months. I had neglected self -care at the beginning of my motherhood journey, however, when my son was six months old, I made a decision to look at holistic ways to support myself. I wanted to improve my well-being and my beautiful son’s.

The adjustment to motherhood was hard

I started to regularly practise yoga again and meditation also gave me a sense of calm and balance. I ensured that I wasn’t neglecting my body, by eating nutritious foods to increase my energy levels and be healthy.

My son is now five and after a difficult start to motherhood, I now feel happy and healthy (with an equally happy little boy). My hope is that more mothers will not only look at their own well-being as paramount, but look at holistic ways to support postnatal depression.

Now is the time, as women, as mothers, to aim to be our most optimal selves. There is no perfect mother, but a happy and healthy one should be our goal.

Sheryl Franklin is a holistic wellbeing advocate and founder of No Judgement Mama. @nojudgementmama