By Roxanne Almas, MD, MSPH
Photo Credit: Lars_Nissen
How My Own Grief Helped Me See My Patients’ Loss
M
y day vacillates between two worlds. Every morning, I leave the comfort of my home, family and neighborhood to begin my day advocating for families who begin theirs knowing it will involve struggle. The families I care for as a Developmental Behavioral Pediatrician in a County Hospital are the reason I come to work in-person every single day in the midst of a pandemic. These families are from mostly immigrant communities, work multiple back-breaking jobs, sometimes are single parents and cannot rely on childcare therefore often take their children to work with them. The marginalized communities I serve have endured significant trauma decades before the start of the pandemic. The children have had numerous adverse childhood experiences that have only increased over the last two years given the incredible losses they have suffered from due to Covid. Many of these children have lost a parent, a grandparent, a primary 18 | The Bulletin | First Quarter 2022
caregiver, essentially their lifeline. Some have moved homes to be cared for by other relatives and/or placed in foster care as a result. Dr. Charles Nelson, Harvard University’s professor of pediatrics and psychiatry, refers to these 200,000 + children in the US as “orphans of Covid”. Significant racial and socioeconomic disparities exist among those that are most impacted. Common questions I now find myself asking these days in clinic include “What have you lost over the last two years?” The answers have surprised me and have ranged from lost loved ones to lost friends, to a lost sense of community, lost activities and skills. I usually follow up my question with “And what have you gained?” to instill a sense of hope and resilience in the children I see. Grief is defined as a natural reaction to loss that can influence the physical, emotional, cognitive, behavioral and spiritual aspects of our lives. I was recently confronted with a deep sense of grief myself and nothing about it felt natural, yet everything about it influenced my entire being. What I’ve learned from processing my own grief these past few months after losing www.sccma.org
