BOOK EXCERPT
Positive Adaptation
By John Chuck, MD
We seek the comfort of stability and sameness, but Heraclitus’ proclamation that “the only constant in life is change” rules the day. Some changes are easily overcome, but others such as the loss of a job, dissolution of a marriage and family, or death of a child are devastating and send victims free falling into a deep and dark crevasse where they come face-to-face with the five stages of grief described by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Effectively adapting to such turmoil is an essential skill of a life well- lived. In his book Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard, Chip Health reminds us that in the wake of change and challenges, there are always individuals and groups who are adapting more favorably than others. He calls these super adaptors “bright spots” and advises that the most effective way for us to deal with change is to either be a bright spot or learn from bright spots. My personal version of this practice is to maintain a “liger” (from the movie Napoleon Dynamite, “It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed, bred for its skills in magic”) composed of my favorite role models for positive adaptation. When faced with high stakes stressors, I bring forth my best effort by imitating the habits that these people have used to overcome adversity. Adopting a positive mindset is another powerful tool for maintaining joy and meaning when swimming in a pond of pain. Remarkable examples of the power of mindset were the 29% of women Holocaust survivors, who when interviewed as older adults, said they had lived a good life. How could this be? Sociologist Aaron Antonovsky found that these women had an unflappable sense of coherence—a deeply held belief that despite circumstances that screamed otherwise, life was comprehensible, manageable, and meaningful. And while it is true that no sane person would invite tragedy into their life, cataclysmic change is often the catalyst for positive transformation. Based on her work with terminally ill patients, Kubler-Ross observed that suffering can fill its hosts with newfound empathy, com- passion, and a deep loving concern for others. Adds Mark Thibodeaux in God’s Voice Within, “. . . dark times can be breakthrough moments in our own salvation history,” creating opportunities for repentance, fortitude, humility, patience, trust, self-assurance, self-confidence, and wisdom. This principle of goodness emerging from our brokenness finds its artistic home in kintsugi, the Japanese practice of repairing broken pottery by filling its fracture lines with gold. The www.sccma.org
resulting masterpiece is a moving metaphor for our capacity to adapt to suffering and emerge as more beautiful people. Finally, suffering, experienced firsthand or vicariously through the life of another, also gives us a realistic perspective of how full or empty our glass is compared to others, and whether it is filled with wine or urine. Case in point: early in my medical career, I worked with Larry, an upbeat licensed vocational nurse who sported a flat top hairdo and wore a striped Ben Davis work shirt to cover his big belly. Larry had previously seen duty as a helicopter medic in Vietnam where it was his team’s job to swoop down into the jungle to scoop up the victims of war, some of them dead, many so badly injured that they wished they were dead. In the wake of a challenging patient interaction that left me feeling angry and defeated, I found myself venting to Larry about the difficulty of my job. After listening to my story with compassion, he offered this gem of advice based on his harrowing wartime experience: “Young man, if you have a job that only has two bad days a week, you’ve got a great job.” To this day, I rejoice every week I experience two or less bad days.
Editor’s Note This is an excerpt from the book, Pearls From the Practice of Life by John Chuck, MD. We are honored to have Dr. Chuck join us as our special guest for Resilient MD on April 26th. For more information, or to register, visit https://bit.ly/3IfxHXt.
The Bulletin | First Quarter 2022 | 33
