ISSUE 15*JULY 2015*DIGITAL MAGAZINE
Cell phone safety For kids, teens & tweens
15 Tips to Improve Health & Happiness Today Antibiotic Resistance
Understanding Adult ADD Panic attacks & meditation Official Media Partner Soulspace 2015
Lisa Raleigh Getting to know her as she joins us as a regular contributor!!
Lisa’s Full Body Workout No Equipment Needed
Montessori Home Parenting Retrain Your Subconscious
Banting for dogs??
BEAUTY BEAUTY THROUGH THROUGH SCIENCE SCIENCE • Dermalogica
facials • Variety of massages • Nail services • Caribbean Spray tan • Brazilian Blow Wave’s • Redken chromatic Colors • Permanent Make-up
Beauty Intelligence Lynnwood - Pretoria Shop 3, Lynnwood Bridge, Cnr. Lynnwood & Daventry Rd, Lynnwood Manor Tel: 012 365 3883 · lynnwood@beautyintelligence.co.za Beauty Intelligence Waterfall - Midrand Shop 35 - Corner Waterfall, Cnr. Woodmead & Maxwell Dr, Waterfall Tel: 010 596 8942 · waterfall@beautyintelligence.co.za Traiding Hours Monday to Saturday 8am to 7pm · Sundays 9am to 5pm · Public Holidays 9am to 3pm
www.beautyintelligence.co.za
BEAUTY BEAUTY THROUGH THROUGH SCIENCE SCIENCE • Dermalogica
facials • Variety of massages • Nail services • Caribbean Spray tan • Brazilian Blow Wave’s • Redken chromatic Colors • Permanent Make-up
Beauty Intelligence Lynnwood - Pretoria Shop 3, Lynnwood Bridge, Cnr. Lynnwood & Daventry Rd, Lynnwood Manor Tel: 012 365 3883 · lynnwood@beautyintelligence.co.za Beauty Intelligence Waterfall - Midrand Shop 35 - Corner Waterfall, Cnr. Woodmead & Maxwell Dr, Waterfall Tel: 010 596 8942 · waterfall@beautyintelligence.co.za Traiding Hours Monday to Saturday 8am to 7pm · Sundays 9am to 5pm · Public Holidays 9am to 3pm
www.beautyintelligence.co.za
ED’s LETTER Hello to all our Children of the Universe! So here we are, in the thick of winter, some of us battling the flu and not wanting to crawl out from under our snug duvets in the mornings. In our last edition we encouraged you to remember those who are less fortunate and to contribute blankets and warm clothing to make a difference in others’ lives – see our write-up in the Earth Warriors section about a team of people who are on a mission to help people in squatter camps. Reach out and touch someone’s life by donating what you can to charities and those you may cross on your path. Pay it forward! This month, we are excited to welcome Lisa Raleigh on board, who will be addressing the many aspects of health and fitness in this, and upcoming editions. As always, we have a great mix of articles in the various sections, covering Theta healing, support after divorce, the winter blues and depression to kids’ holiday camps. This is our 15th edition of Child of the Universe, and we just keep growing, bringing you more exciting information and many insights on topics that may be new to you. Our next edition features SA’s dynamic Danny K and SHOUT! Last, but certainly not least, we have some awesome Subscriber Giveaways - page through to the back to enter. Your input is appreciated; you can email us, catch us on Facebook (link below) or call us anytime. +27 11 462 2900
Like us on Facebook for more chances to win Keep shining brightly Namaste Linda and Cj linda@childoftheuniverse.co.za candida@childoftheuniverse.co.za www.childoftheuniverse.co.za
For You Vince
As many of our readers know, my brother, Linda Navon’s (editor) son, Vincent Jardim passed away in a car accident on the 17th of July 2011. He died just 8 days after celebrating his 26th birthday. His car hit an overturned car on the highway on his way home from my 30 th birthday party, our birthdays are 4 days apart. As I am sure you can imagine, July is a bittersweet month for us. On Thursday 9 th of July we will celebrate his life for what would have been his 30th birthday. It is still tough to know that he is no longer with us on this plane. Though we do feel him around us and sometimes we even hear him. I wrote this song for him a few months ago and I would like to share it with you for his birthday. I have yet to put music to it. We love and miss you Vince. Happy 30th
Too many days without you here At times I think I may explode Sometimes it’s easier to just implode To never see you smile again To hear your laugh in real time How can it still be so sublime Only memories of you to run through my mind I so wish you were here Just to hold you near I so wish you were here I wait for you to reappear Just one last time Tears stream down my face As I think of times gone by I cannot replace Still so unreal And yet we go on Hold the feelings deep inside And in your daughter’s face I see you so clearly Sad that you never got To hold her dearly Written by Cj Stott Matticks
15th EDITION – JUly 2015
Dedicated to the memory of Vincent Jardim 9-07-1985 – 17-07-2011
IN THIS ISSUE:
SUBSCRIBE & WIN! Lots of great prizes to be won – see our Competition Page COVEr Feature Earth Warriors - Reach out Lisa Raleigh – Getting to know her Winter outreach project Winter blues may actually be depression Montessori Method 10 Montessori home parenting tips SADAG emergency lines Support after divorce Body, mind & Spirit Lisa’s 15 tips to improve health & happiness NOW ANIMAL WORLD Read this if you’re 23 & lost Banting Diet for dogs?? Retraining our subconscious mind Animals, Angels and Souls How to ruin your life READING A meditation for you by Louise L. Hay Follow Me – I’m Lost! Chapter 4 The 7 chakras Natural Health Understanding Adult ADD Heart attack survival Panic attacks & meditation 4 Practical ways for women to recover from everyday exhaustion Antibiotic resistance Health benefits of peppermint What is Theta Healing & how can it help you? The art of doing nothing MEET THE TEAM CARMEN CHE JARDIM – Our Little Toddler Fitness & Health by Lisa Raleigh Lisa’s full body workout – no equipment needed! Boss Lisa’s healthy recipes VINCENT JARDIM – Linda’s Son, Carmen’s Dad, Cj’s Brother- The Motivator Babies & beyond Pregnancy & Birthing LINDA JARDIM NAVON – Editor & Publisher Post natal depression CJ STOTT MATTICKS – Marketing & Sales Director Children of the Universe Childhood innocence ARIZONA QUINN – Writer, Researcher & Car Seat Safety Admin Cell phone safety tips for kids, teens & tweens To advertise call us on +27 11 462 2900
15th EDITION – JUly 2015 - Contributors We welcome on board: Lisa Raleigh
Known as the blue team trainer on SA’s The Biggest Loser and wellness consultant on SABC 3’s daily morning show, Expresso, Lisa Raleigh is fast becoming South Africa’s unofficial face of wellness and healthy living. A frequent writer and radio guest, Lisa published her best seller, No Fries on Us, with Darren Scott in 2011. Lisa is the events director for parkrun in Durban, and founder of the LIVERIGHT FOUNDATION. This NGO saw its first initiative, SUNfit, offer free exercise classes to the public from 2006 and launch its first community venue in Durban’s Lamontville in 2014. It is currently provided healthy free street fairs to the wards of JHB that need them the most. Lisa’s one-of-a-kind online challenge, well i am, has completed three successful seasons, with its fourth currently running since 15th June. Lisa’s self-produced show, ‘101 Exercises to Try Before you Die’ was the first of many launched early in 2014, all enjoying exposure in over 107 countries. Lisa’s jewelry line, NOBLE, launched in the final quarter of 2014.
Eric Richardson
Eric Richardson is CEO and instructor at Theta Healing SA. A master’s graduate in education, Eric Richardson's earlier career was spent as a teacher before lecturing at the University of the Witwatersrand. His focus was Philosophy and Sociology of Education and he introduced courses on gender and sexuality in teacher training. In 2006 he became managing director of an established section 21 company that used interactive theatre to teach about HIV, safer sex and other social issues. In 2008 he was selected by the Mail & Guardian as one of the “200 Young South Africans you must take to lunch”. In 2011, Eric left the company to focus full-time on ThetaHealing®, and he completed a bachelor's degree in metaphysic science. He also became South Africa's first ThetaHealing® Master and an ordained minister. www.thetahealing.co.za or email info@thetahealing.co.za
Louis L Hay
Louise is a bestselling author, speaker and inspirational teacher whose healing techniques, affirmations and positive thinking have inspired millions worldwide. She is the founder of Hay House Publishers. www.LouiseHay.com
Heather Picton
Heather is the Founder and CEO of ADHASA, the largest ADHD Support Group in Africa. Heather is fiercely committed to guiding parents in the midst of the madness of ADHD family life to achieve peace and calm. She will help you find direction within the chaos of everyday challenges. Can you see your children doing better at school? Building good friendships? If you instinctively felt "yes", how would you like to also watch them thrive and be happier? And yourself? You can. With 27 years of experience working with despairing but hopeful families, who have had similar worries and concerns she can guide them to achieve remarkable success. Her mission and commitment is to help you get back into the driving seat and make parenting enjoyable – just as you’ve always dreamed it would be. www.heather.picton.nom.za
Wayne Visser
Wayne Visser was born in Zimbabwe and has lived most of his life in South Africa. He has a deep love for Africa, its people and its wildlife, which is given voice through this collection. Wayne is a writer, academic, social entrepreneur, professional speaker and amateur artist. He has published sixteen previous books, including I Am An African: Favourite Africa Poems. www.waynevisser.com
Margie McAlpine
Margie McAlpine is an experienced Spiritual Workshop Facilitator, Principal and Founder of The Angel Connection School of Africa, Master Teacher, Reiki Master, Spiritual Counsellor, Angel Card Reader, Egyptian Healing Practitioner and Past Life Regression Practitioner.
Paul Jacobson
Paul Jacobson is a regular guest on Radio 702 and Capetalk Radio and writes for many health and animal publications on natural and holistic pet care. Paul is a pet food nutritionist, qualified chef and owner of Vondis Holistic Pet Nutrition. Vondis was a finalist in the Nedbank/Capetalk Small Business Awards for their contribution to animal welfare and care. www.vondis.co.za
Penni du Plessis
I’ve been working with colour therapy since 1993 and am constantly amazed at the deep support you get when using colour consciously. Colour has a language of its own, and by introducing a colour into your life, you are inviting its energetic resonance. I love weaving my web of colour around and onto people with my beautiful products, and seeing them glow, expand and thrive. The oils can be rubbed into your skin twice a day, or used as a bath oil. They are absorbed by the body and taken through the bloodstream to wherever they are needed, anchoring the support they offer for hours at a time. I look forward to sharing my wisdom of colour with you. I’ll focus on one or 2 colours per edition. www.divinespace.co.za
Hanna Kok
Hanna was born in the Netherlands and moved the Lesotho in 1984. She lived for 12 years in a remote Lesotho village. In 1989 Hanna was introduced to Brain Gym. She is now International Faculty for Brain Gym in South Africa, being the link between Brain Gym International and Brain Gym in South Africa. She is one of the directors of Brain Gym in South Africa. She is an experienced Brain Gym trainer and she teaches the complete Brain Gym learning track.
Helen Hansen
Parenting Expert. Author of 'Living an Inspiring Life with Young Children' Experience in: Developmental Psychology, Early Childhood Development and Birth into Being facilitation. www.helenhansen.co info@helenhansen.co
Emma Derman Teitel
Emma is a practicing Psychotherapist and Coach, the co-founder of Boulder Psychotherapy Services and a leader in female empowerment. She specializes in depth and body-centered approaches to healing and has been serving women and girls in the field of holistic women’s wellness for over 10 years.
Paula Quinsee
Paula Quinsee is a Life, Health and Relationship Coach and helps to empower individuals to live with passion and purpose. Attend her Relationship Romance Workshop on 27 June from 14:0017:00pm in Johannesburg. For more information go to www.ati2ud.com
Dr Marco Knappe
Dr Marco Knappe qualified as a medical doctor in 1989. As an intern and medical officer he worked at several hospitals in different provinces of South Africa. He specialised as an otolaryngologist at Tygerberg Hospital, University of Stellenbosch between 1995 and 1999. Since 2000 he has been in private practice in Cape Town at N1City Hospital and Cape Gate Mediclinic.
A big Child of the Universe thank you to all of our contributors for helping us with the most amazing content. We know that our readers agree with us!
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Celebrity Interview
Getting to know the lovely Lisa Raleigh
Celebrity Interview
Known as the blue team trainer on SA’s The Biggest Loser and wellness consultant on SABC 3’s daily morning
show, Expresso, Lisa Raleigh is fast becoming South Africa’s unofficial face of wellness and healthy living. A frequent writer and radio guest, Lisa published her best seller, No Fries on Us, with Darren Scott in 2011. Lisa is the events director for parkrun in Durban, and founder of the LIVERIGHT FOUNDATION. This NGO saw its first initiative, SUNfit, offer free exercise classes to the public from 2006 and launch its first community venue in Durban’s Lamontville in 2014. It is currently provided healthy free street fairs to the wards of JHB that need them the most. Lisa’s one-of-a-kind online challenge, well i am, has completed three successful seasons, with its fourth currently running since 15th June. Lisa’s self-produced show, ‘101 Exercises to Try Before you Die’ was the first of many launched early in 2014, all enjoying exposure in over 107 countries. Lisa’s jewelry line, NOBLE, launched in the final quarter of 2014. We are thrilled to welcome Lisa on board as one of our contributors, helping you live your best life. We caught up with her to get to know her better. What inspired you to follow your path in wellness & fitness? How old were you when you 1st remember being inspired to follow this path? My first memory is as a young girl, where my dolls spent their days in the ‘hospital ward’ and I nursed them back to health from their various illnesses. Growing up I was an SA Gymnast, and for years my life was a routine of strict exercise, bed rest, hours of training and a controlled diet, so an appreciation for health and fitness grew from that. My sporting circumstances meant I boarded with many different families, and this insight into the dynamics of others’ lives – their habits, house rules, eating and relationships all helped develop my emotional intelligence while observing the impact of health and fitness on others’ lives. Who were your role models growing up? Role models have had a greater presence in my life since entering the wellness industry. Sometimes you come across those ‘ordinary’ individuals who just radiate kindness or happiness or inspiration. So many special clients that I’ve helped or professionals that I’ve worked with have offered me personal, valuable insights into all aspects of life. I’ve found that – more than emulating particular people – it’s these small and plentiful nuggets from a collection of people that serve me the most. That said, I find Martha Stewart to be an incredible inspiration, even more so because of her past controversies and what she’s still managed to build from it. As a child did you have other aspirations in terms of career? I am quite a passionate marketer within my own business, so I can imagine thoroughly enjoying the role if my path had taken a different turn. I am also an accessory fundi, and being in the jewellery industry was always on the cards as an aside to wellness. Luckily though, that dream is busy coming true. Finally, anything to do with animals brings me so much joy, I would have loved to be involved with running animal sanctuaries or something similar. You have achieved so much at such a young age, from writing your own book, starting up your own fitness centres, and being a wellness consultant on SABC’s morning show, Expresso. You are such an inspiration for us and I am sure for many people out there. How did you get to where you are today? What plans do you have for the year ahead and for the future in general? My sporting background helped me develop dedication, discipline and independence, which have all been main features in my work ethic to date. At the age of seventeen I finished Matric and studied to become a personal trainer straight away. I studied and saved for 6 months to fund my practical training in Wales, and at eighteen I returned from my year abroad independent, strong and determined to start my career ahead. I opened a mobile personal training business, which then turned into a series of gyms in Durban. It was during this time that I got the call that changed it all: would I like to be the trainer on The Biggest Loser? It was a once in a lifetime opportunity. The Biggest Loser catapulted me into the spotlight, and that was the start of my media career. In addition to TV and media features, identifying a gap in the market is usually the birth of most projects, as well as the will to just get started without fear or hesitation. In terms of the future, it’s general growth that I aim for. I’d like to see SUNfit in every South African province in the next 5 years, and in every town and city in the next 10. We’re busy getting the government involved in helping the needier sectors, and I’d like this to exponentially grow bigger and better. I’d like well i am to move even further into corporate sectors, and to grow really big with even more massive brand names on board and tens of thousands of sign ups.
Celebrity Interview
With my jewellery line, I would love Noble to be recognised globally and one day become a household name. Lots of wellness-related TV production seems to be lined up for the rest of the year with my Media Fission production company, and plenty of travel is on the cards – with at least some being work-related. What challenges did you face along the way and how did you overcome them? During my time on The Biggest Loser, I realised that growth requires delegation – being hands on and then stepping away from the ship was a struggle for me. In my era of owning gyms, cash flow was also always a struggle; chasing money from clients was a constant challenge. Since moving away from the gym industry and into the building of new platforms, finding the right sponsors can be a struggle. It’s hard to convince others to commit to an idea before it is realised. Clearly outlining the future plans, goals and possibilities is important if you want someone to believe in your dream as much as you do. Finding committed staff has also been a really tough challenge. They need to be passionate about wellness, but their purpose also needs to be complementary to mine and the other members of the team, rather than competitive. It is also not in my philosophy to count hours or micro-manage, so I have to trust heavily in my staff’s abilities to be self-motivated and take their work seriously. Having enough work / life balance has also always been a tough challenge for me, and by setting strict time boundaries on work hours I think I am now getting closer to attaining it. Saying no to opportunities is also a big one – it can be so hard to choose! We see that you have a jewellery line called Noble, what inspired you to create this line and who is the designer? Why the name Noble? I have always had a love of jewellery and accessorizing, and it became a hobby to collect unique pieces to bring home each time I travelled. My long-time wish for a big, beautiful cabernet of exquisite jewellery pieces in my home eventually developed into an urge to start my own line, so I did it! I now take jewellery-specific trips to explore new ranges, and bring those home with me where possible. There are a few designers behind the different collections, and I love the name ‘Noble’ as representative of something that is both aristocratic and high in moral principle – rich in quality. Please tell us more about the well i am challenge and how it came about The well i am challenge launched in February 2013, where corporates and consumers enter an online holistic 13week wellness transformation challenge with all the luxuries thrown in, the tools and skills to create life-long change and an online community of resources to keep you motivated. We’re now on our fourth challenge, and are in the throes of 100 healthy days. Our focus is on national accessibility, personalization and plenty of incentives, and we always proud ourselves on real value for money in terms of what sign up earns you. www.welliam.co.za. You eat, sleep and breathe wellness & fitness, what are your guilty pleasures? I try leave the guilt behind, but top quality vanilla sponge cake with lots of icing is one of my all-time favourite spoils. I will also occasionally give in to lazy weekends, where I’ll just stay in my pyjamas and binge-watch series or movies. Hot french fries with salt and mayonnaise is also right up there! What do you enjoy doing in your free time? Do you have any hobbies? I spend time with my loved ones and enjoy baking, lots of reading – I love researching, running with my pup and travelling wherever I can. Anytime spent on the beach is also time well spent to me. Lesser known talents of yours? Definitely not singing! Maybe a few party tricks as a result of my gym background – I can do a few pistol squats, planches and the splits. What are 4 of your favourite things in life and why they are your favourites? My better half, Stafford. He’s my soul mate, we have so much in common and we travel together constantly – one of the best forms of bonding there is! Harley, my beautiful fur child. My cellphone – I’m not proud to admit it, but it is my point of connection with everything! When you travel as much as I do, you simply could not do without it. Being my own boss is a big one – my day belongs to me and my personal goals, and that is priceless.
Celebrity Interview
4 items on your bucket list and why Adopting a child, learning a new language (maybe Zulu followed Portuguese or Spanish), scuba diving in every major area of attraction, and seeing the seven wonders of the world. What are you currently reading and what are your 4 favourite books? I’m currently reading You Learn by Living by Eleanor Roosevelt. Three more of my favourites are The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding by Kristin Newman and Eat Move Sleep by Tim Roth. We see that you, like us, are a proud fur baby parent, what is your doggie’s name, how old is he/she? Do you, like us, get told that you post too many pictures of your fur baby on FB? Ha Ha! Harley is my very special Jack Russel pup. She is two years old already, and I have received no complaints just yet about any of my pet posts – everybody must love her as much as I do! In closing, what advice do you have for others striving to follow their dreams and become successful business people and entrepreneurs? What advice do you have for women specifically in this regard? I love the quote ‘the tallest trees get the most wind’. The more you grow, the bigger your challenges – and the more resilient you need to become in response. You’re never going to be able to please everyone, and will usually just end up diluting your goals and focus if you try to. Flexibility is a huge component for me – times change and you constantly need to reassess and adjust your goals; structure doesn’t always work and you always need to be ready to try Plan B or take another path. Patience is another big one. You have to put in the time before your efforts start paying off. I offered a lot my services for free before I had promoted them enough to start enjoying revenue from them; it’s a necessary marketing tool. Finally, you need to constantly and consciously work at keeping ahead. You can never stop learning, and your business will fall behind if you aren’t constantly updating your knowledge. I learn as much as I can from others, I read constantly, and otherwise try to be a ‘sponge’ in all the ways that I can when it comes to absorbing new information. I also feel that whatever you do, it needs to be true to who you are. Working with passion and purpose is the key to fulfilment, the rewards will follow.
What a lady!! Read Child of the Universe each month to get invaluable health, wellness & happiness tips from Lisa. Also, I have started the well i am challenge and it has already had an invaluable impact in my life. Watch this space next month to follow my journey. Interview by: Cj Stott Matticks
PHONE: (011) 805-3449 or MOBILE: 082 644 6965 sales@montessorisupplier.co.za
www.montessorisupplier.co.za
Follow the Child
"The greatness of the human personality begins at the hour of birth." - Maria Montessori
why montessori works
10 Montessori Home Parenting Tips For Children Under 3 Daily Montessori
The following are tips for parents on how to holistically raise your child the Montessori way at home. This applies across the board for all areas of development of children. 1. Respect your child in every aspect of their life Simply place yourself in their shoes, why do such a thing? Why are they crying? It can be as simple as they are they woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, which as adults we also experience. Give them extra hugs. If you are confined in a room or space you would get upset as well as you would also like to have the freedom to be able to move places and not be forced. Respect that they do not want to eat at times; we also have days that we do not have big appetites. Respect that they have needs as we do. Being respectful to their needs can also extend to teaching them respect and courtesy by setting good examples. Be gracious and courteous to your children and to others as well. This is the best way for them to learn it, if it is used in practice. This respect can transcend to other children, adults and other living things as well. If we teach them how to care for things they can learn it and make it part of their being at a very young age.
2. Freedom of Movement Give them the space and opportunity to be able to move around. Do not simply “cage� them or have them in one confined place not being able to explore their environment or try new movement possibilities. (Tummy time, pulling up, cruising, etc.) As children get older give them challenges to climb in safe areas. As children learn to move it expands their possibilities for learning by freely exploring their environment
3. Freedom of Choice Always give them a choice. This is best when dealing with toddlers and you are engaging in a power struggle. Give them only two choices for things that will involve them. They can have dinner now or they can have it later with everybody else, they can wear the blue or the red shorts with the green top.
4. Teach independence Give them opportunities to do things for themselves. Children are not to be treated as mini adults who can do all things for themselves, however they are not helpless human beings. Make things easy or simplified for them so that they can actually do things by themselves. For example, have elastic pants instead of denim so that they can try to dress themselves rather than have to ask you to zip up their jeans. At a young age allow them to feed themselves even though it can be messy, but you are giving them the chance to practice.
5. Communication Always talk to them properly in a clearly articulated voice. Give them the names of objects around them to increase their vocabulary. Talking to them also involves modeling communication with other adults and listening. Be respectful when talking to them. Do not just communicate to them to tell them to do or not to do something, but have a regular conversation about how the day went.
6. Teach not by correcting but by modeling Do not teach by judging whether the child is doing something right or wrong. If a mistake is made, model correctly how to do it. Do not make a big deal out of it, make them aware of their mistakes subtly. In language, if they mispronounce, repeat what they said and pronounce it correctly. You do not have to say that it was wrong, simply model how it should be done.
7. Keep to natural simple materials / toys There is no need for fancy or flashy toys that do all the work for the child and just leave them watching and being amused for a short period of time. Get toys that encourage children do something with their hands, to drop a ball in a box, or to stack rings to accomplish a task. It can entertain them for long periods of time as they repeat the activity over and over. Do not get toys where they only need to press one button and are left with nothing else. Have materials that deeply involve children to concentrate for more than 2 seconds! TV may hold their attention for a long time but does not involve interaction/manipulation. Montessori believed the work of the
hand is very important for the child’s development. Give them toys in which they can manipulate objects.
8. Use common sense It does not take rocket science to raise a child; some things just need to involve common sense that seems to be not so common for some. Trust yourself that you are doing the right thing, if it feels right. Most of the Montessori principles involve only common sense and rational thinking.
9. Patience What you teach them now will help you in the long run. Do not give in to getting peace and quiet for a few moments to encounter that problem every day. Instead, while it may take a longer time to get a child to learn something, when they do, it does not become an issue any longer. For sleeping, do not make your child dependent on you to rock or pat them or use a dummy, it may take time for them to get used to sleep independently but in the long run you do not need to spend long periods of time putting them to sleep.
10. Lastly, love and support them If you do this, you cannot go wrong with any parenting style you implement! It will be good enough, remember it can never be perfect and mistakes and faults are all part of the growing up process.
our children are the most precious gifts entrusted to us
body mind & spirit
15 tips to Improve health & happiness
TODAY
By Lisa Raleigh Daily life is busier than ever, with many of us juggling full time careers and families. Prioritising fitness is becoming harder and stress levels are only set to increase. When is it going to let up? I’ll admit, I’m one of those who is constantly wishing for a 25-hour day and definitely not getting as much shut eye as I want; keeping healthy living at the top of the to-do list can certainly be a struggle. If you are trying to find more time to put health and fitness first, and feel like that darn to-do list will never get done, here are 15 tips I practice myself that bring about some calm, order and time for wellness! 1. Replace diets with small swaps: Small healthy swaps can transform your eating habits easily – no diet needed! Strict diets are inconvenient, restrictive and usually short-lived. Flexibility and consistency are key! Replace table salt with Himalayan rock salt, cook with coconut oil over others, and skip added sugar or use natural sugar replacements like xylitol and stevia wherever possible. Avoiding refined carbs like white pasta and bread and rather incorporating grains like quinoa, oats and barley will do wonders for your waistline and energy levels. 2. If you’re on a budget, train at home: Or just seriously short on time! A few pairs of dumbbells are all you really need for an effective home workout. If you feel you need supervision, invest in fitness DVDs or browse online for full video workouts. I love training at home because there’s no travel time, I don’t need to get ‘done up’, and I can dash back to my laptop for any quick tasks if need be. 3. Have a wind-down routine before bed: You may feel productive sparing a few extra hours of sleep, but your cognitive functioning, memory and performance are guaranteed to suffer. Dim the lights an hour before, skip stimulating activities like serious work or browsing laptops, and sprinkle a few drops of lavender oil over your pillows (it really helps you relax). 4. Start gift shopping NOW: Staggering your holiday gift shopping does wonders for your budget and for your stress levels. Give the last-minute queues a skip and start organizing presents for loved ones NOW. Keep a running list on your phone so you can jot down any brainwaves without forgetting. Shopping online, spa vouchers and tickets to concerts or events are all delivered to your door.
5. Save time on workouts: Skip isolated exercises and long, medium intensity cardio. Fast results are won with compound exercises (strength exercises that work multiple muscle groups at once) and including sprinting intervals into steady-state runs to get into your fat burning zone. 6. Eat consistently: You can absolutely eat your way to lower stress levels and higher energy. Low GI meals keep your blood sugar levels moderated, and snacking frequently will keep you energized throughout the day. Skip the high sugar, fast absorbing foods wherever possible. Juice your veggies each morning if you anticipate not having time to fit in a balanced meal. 7. Make ‘happy’ your default setting: An increase in positive thoughts has been proven to build resilience and your ability to be solution-focused. Working to remain positive in stressful situations, to bite your tongue when feeling annoyed, and to mindfully acknowledge each negative thought and follow it immediately with a positive one are all tools to becoming more constructive. This is an important conditioning tool that can take time to implement, but the long-term benefits are worth it. Faking it ’til you make it is such a real thing – try it! 8. Check your iron and vitamin B12 levels: Women often don’t meet their daily recommendations of these two nutrients, and energy levels can suffer as a result. A deficiency in vitamin B12 has also been linked to higher stress and depression levels. A simple test at the GP can confirm whether or not you are meeting your daily needs. 9. Cook more than you need: This will save you from resorting to unhealthy take-aways when time is limited. Soups, casseroles, stews, curries, mince and savoury muffins all freeze beautifully. Double or triple the recipe and divide into one portion, couple or family servings. 10. Shop online: Almost all larger grocery chains now offer the option to order online with a small delivery charge of R40 to R60. This is so worth it, as it prevents you from buying things that weren’t on your grocery list, as well as saving travel time. The delivery fee works out in most cases to what you’d pay on petrol anyway. 11. Modernise your kitchen: A few gadgets can add some serious health and time-saving benefits to meals. Steamers give you cooked veggies in 10 minutes, liquidizers blend up your nuts, seeds, fruit, oats and yoghurt into instant smoothies, and juicers are an absolute must when it comes to upping your raw veggie intake. Airfryers are another lifesaver, allowing you to prepare entire cooked meals with almost no oil – or supervision. 12. Eat breakfast: It doesn’t have to be your biggest meal, but after a night’s sleep where the body has fasted and the metabolism has slowed, it needs a jumpstart. Forcing your body to metabolise food in the morning lets it know that the ‘fast’ is over, and provides the fuel you need to start as active day.
13. Cut down on TV time: Not only is it a black hole for valuable time, it can hinder a good night’s sleep as well. Cut back on your screen time and you’ll be amazed at the time you free up to get other things done. If you can’t resist your favourite programme – double it up as exercise hour. 14. Renew your energy: Sometimes a shift in focus or activity can be the energy refresh you need. It could be a 20-minute power nap, 10 minutes of meditation, a 5 minute walk, or even a half hour of reading. Whatever the break is, a short switch in your concentration from one task to another can be all it takes to replenish your energy levels and focus on the task at hand. 15. Take a moment: Similar to the point I’ve just mentioned is taking a few minutes each day to do absolutely nothing. These are your reflecting moments. Being alone with your thoughts is such a rare occurrence these days, yet it is such an integral part about being present in our lives and determining what we want from them. It might have been weeks since you last stopped to consider WHY you’re so busy doing what you’re doing, and to see if any of the directions you’re moving in need alignment. Do you have a 5 year plan? Are you working towards something that will bring you happiness in the future? Are you taking time to appreciate the things that matter most to you? Simply thinking about these things can help us to identify what it really is we want from life, and subsequently help us get closer to it. Enter the well i am wellness challenge and apart from the health and happiness benefits stand a chance to win R20 000. www.welliam.co.za
Heidi Priebe
So you’re 23 and you have no idea what comes next. First of all, congratulations. You’re ahead of the game. Do you know how long most people wait to realize that they’re lost? Do you know many people never do? Do you understand how many people go through their entire lives aimlessly floundering; only to realize at the very end of it that none of what they did was what they wanted? It’s a lot more than you’d think. And most of those people thought they had it all figured out at twenty-three. After all, it’s not so hard to be found when you are twenty-three years old. There are infinite hoards of people who will tell you what to do and where to go. There are endless opportunities for you to make money and prosper. All you have to do is let go of what you want for yourself. You just have to subscribe to living someone else’s dream. If you are lost at twenty-three, you are exactly where you need to be right now. I know that it is not where you would like – stuck in the middle of uncertainty and failure and your own inconsistent desires. I know it’s not the place you thought you’d be when you screamed, “Cheers!” on your 20th birthday in anticipation of the next exciting decade. I know that you would rather be just about anywhere but here except you can’t figure out where to go and it is driving you slowly up the wall. I know what it’s like to be twenty-three and lost. I know that it’s the worst place on earth.
But the fact that you are lost right now tells you something. It tells you that your life as it has been is not your life as it will be. It tells you that you’re not the kind of person who settles for okay or sort of good enough. The fact that you are lost tells you that you would rather be living in the middle of uncertainty than dead-set on something that makes you consistently miserable. And I’m not sure if you realize how rare that really is. How few people still give a shit about doing something meaningful with their lives. How many more people we need who are just like you – lost and reeling, yet still pushing themselves to do better. You are lost because you care. You’re lost because you’re passionate. You’re lost because you know that there is more inside of you than what you’re currently offering the world and that is a brilliant thing to know. At 23, JK Rowling was broke. Tina Fey was working at the Y.M.C.A. Oprah had just gotten fired from her first job as a TV reporter and Walt Disney had declared bankruptcy. None of these wildly successful individuals could have predicted what was in store for them next but the one thing they all had in common was that they knew that there was more to them than what they were doing at the time. And that’s what you have in common with them, too. You know that there’s a bigger, better version of yourself to bring to life. You just haven’t gotten there yet. So let’s look at where to go from here. If your life is lying splintered on the floor, which pieces do you want to pick up and keep? Which do you leave? What do you choose not to re-create now that you’re given the chance to start over? Because that is exactly the chance that you have at twenty-three. You get to strip your life down to its bare bones and build the whole thing back up from scratch. It’s not the easiest thing to do. But it’s the best thing. The bravest thing. The most rewarding thing and the kind of thing you only get the opportunity to do through being lost. So right now, let yourself be a little bit lost. Because you don’t get found by staying comfortable. You don’t get found by running away. You don’t get found by fighting your deepest impulses and you definitely don’t get found by hiding out. You get found by doing exactly what it is that you are doing right now – which is delving right into the heart of your life and fighting like hell for what matters.
If you’re never lost you never get found. And you’re the kind of person worth searching for. http://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2015/04/read-this-if-youre-23-and-lost/
By Hanna Kok
In this day and age, there is much information around on the law of attraction and the power of our thinking. Did you know that much of our thinking is not our own new creative thinking; it could be as high as 90%. Our beliefs and values, which form the basis of much of our thinking, are formed between conception and the age of seven. In that time our brain is in programming mode and we absorb what we come into contact with. We also have inherited beliefs and values; some are passed on through our DNA, others by copying others around us. For example much of our cultural is passed on from generation to generation. Another example is racial and religious tension, which is often caused by trauma that happened generations ago and passed on through generations. We also have many thoughts that are just repetitive. We mill over things, especially when we have done something we regret. We often have unkind thoughts towards and about ourselves.
Without us realising what we are doing, we are passing our garbage and baggage on to our children. I am sure that we as parents would love to turn this around, if we could. Well we can. The challenge is that our subconscious mind is at least 1,000,000 times more effective in absorbing information. We live our life, based on our subconscious beliefs and values. If we want to successfully change the way we think and feel about life, we need to retrain the subconscious. If we don’t, our good intentions will most likely not last.
How to retrain the subconscious 1.
Work on yourself, by taking time to listen to the chatter in your head. What are you saying to yourself about yourself, love, money, etc.? Write these thoughts down and then ask yourself: a. Is this a thought, belief or habit that I want to keep? b. If not, what do I want to replace this with? c. Where did this thought, belief or habit come from? Be still and listen to what comes to mind. You can even muscle check yourself for an age. You can watch this video to learn how to muscle check yourself. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOdADtiWOqA. Once you know how to muscle check yourself, you can ask i. “Did this thought, belief or habit start in Utero?” If yes, narrow it down to which month in Utero. ii. If no, ask “Did it start between birth and age 5?” If yes, narrow it down to which year. If No, continue until you find the relevant age. iii. Once you have found the age, you might need to forgive people, including yourself. Also look at the situation again, but now from your current perspective.
2.
Affirmations can assist you in retraining your subconscious. If you repeat them to yourself, you have to do this very often. Combining them with movement, like Brain Gym® exercises can assist in the effective absorption. Click Here for a short video which teaches you some of these exercises.
3.
Subliminal affirmations can be found on a wide range of subjects. There is now also a free app called Apphirmations where you can record personal affirmations in your own voice and language or you can purchase pre-recorded affirmations. You can play the affirmations combined with music of your choice to suit your mood. You can listen to them audibly or subliminally. This way you will hear the affirmations many times.
4.
Professional help
is often useful if we can shift ourselves or we want quicker results. Make sure you go to somebody who is going to help you shift you on a subconscious level. You can go for individual sessions or attend workshops. Here are some, but not the only, modalities you could look at: a. ThetaHealing速 b. Brain Gym速 c. Kinesiology d. Hypnotherapists e. People who do Family Constellations
In conclusion If we want to be our best and live our best lives then it is important that we work on ourselves and let go our subconscious baggage and garbage that no longer serve us.
Contact Hanna Kok via www.braingymsa.co.za and www.makealife.co.za (You can download some great free books on www.makealife.co.za/freebooks.html)
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Bianca Sparacino
Understand that life is not a straight line. Life is not a set timeline of milestones. It is okay if you don’t finish school, get married, find a job that supports you, have a family, make money, and live comfortably all by this age, or that age. It’s okay if you do, as long as you understand that if you’re not married by 25, or a Vice President by 30 — or even happy, for that matter — the world isn’t going to condemn you. You are allowed to backtrack. You are allowed to figure out what inspires you. You are allowed time, and I think we often forget that. We choose a program right out of high school because the proper thing to do is to go straight to University. We choose a job right out of University, even if we didn’t love our program, because we just invested time into it. We go to that job every morning because we feel the need to support ourselves abundantly. We take the next step, and the next step, and the next step, thinking that we are fulfilling some checklist for life, and one day we wake up depressed. We wake up stressed out. We feel pressured and don’t know why. That is how you ruin your life.
You ruin your life by choosing the wrong person. What is it with our need to fasttrack relationships? Why are we so enamored with the idea of first becoming somebody’s rather than somebodies? Trust me when I say that a love bred out of convenience, a love that blossoms from the need to sleep beside someone, a love that caters to our need for attention rather than passion, is a love that will not inspire you at 6am when you roll over and embrace it. Strive to discover foundational love, the kind of relationship that motivates you to be a better man or woman, the kind of intimacy that is rare rather than right there. “But I don’t want to be alone,” we often exclaim. Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself. Wait for it. Please, I urge you to Don’t let your past govern your life. wait for it, to fight for it, to make an effort for it if you have already found it, because it is the most Don’t let it define who beautiful thing your heart will experience. you are or how you view You ruin your life by letting your past govern it. It is yourself. Allow yourself common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you to move past what has happened and look at feel like you aren’t special or purposeful. There are moments that will stay with you, words that will your future stick. You cannot let these define you – they were simply moments, they were simply words. If you allow for every negative event in your life to outline how you view yourself, you will view the world around you negatively. You will miss out on opportunities because you didn’t get that promotion five years ago, convincing yourself that you were stupid. You will miss out on affection because you assumed your past love left you because you weren’t good enough, and now you don’t believe the man or the woman who urges you to believe you are. This is a cyclic, self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach that judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that shouldn’t have existed in the first place.
You ruin your life when you compare yourself to others. The amount of Instagram followers you have does not decrease or increase your value. The amount of money in your bank account will not influence your compassion, your intelligence, or your happiness. The person who has two times more possessions than you does not have double the bliss, or double the merit. We get caught up in what our friends are liking, who our significant others are following, and at the end of the day this not only ruins our lives, but it also ruins us. It creates within us this need to feel important, and in many cases we often put others down to achieve that. You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know that she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how, you love. There is courage in that. You ruin your life by tolerating it. At the end of the day you should be excited to be alive. When you settle for anything less than what you innately desire, you destroy the possibility that lives inside of you, and in that way you cheat both yourself and the world of your potential. The next Michelangelo could be sitting behind a Macbook right now writing an invoice for paperclips, because it pays the bills, or because it is comfortable, or because he can tolerate it. Do not let this happen to you. Do not ruin your life this way. Life and work, and life and love, are not irrespective of each other. They are intrinsically linked. We have to strive to do extraordinary work, we have to strive to find extraordinary love. Only then will we tap into an extraordinarily blissful life. http://thoughtcatalog.com/bianca-sparacino/
A MEDITATION FOR YOU
Make Room for All the Good To Come Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in and breathe out and just let go of all that stuff that is stuck inside you. This is a special day and we don’t want to carry any old stuff with us. Put one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. And as you breathe quietly, notice how comforting that feels. Be aware that you can do this anytime and anywhere to take care of yourself. You can make yourself feel better with simple gestures and your own breath. How it calms you down. It lets yesterday go. It gives you a feeling of safety. You are here for yourself. And as you release yesterday and even this moment, you allow your full attention to come into this day, this hour, this time. Turn your full attention to this wonderful, wonderful day. Let your heart open and make room for all the good of the Universe to come in. All is well.
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by Maya Mendoza
What on Earth is a Chakra? In many spiritual and healing disciplines, and in the world of complementary medicine the words Chakra pop up quite a bit. That’s fine if you know they mean; not so great, and I must say pretty confusing, if you don’t. Here’s our simple summary of the 7 Chakras that covers what a Chakra is, and what the Chakra System is all about?
The 7 Chakras are the energy centers in our body in which energy flows through. The word ‘chakra’ is derived from the Sanskrit word meaning ‘wheel’. Literally translated from the Hindi it means ‘Wheel of spinning Energy’. A chakra is like a whirling, vortex like, powerhouse of energy. Within our bodies you have seven of these major energy centres and many more minor ones.
You can think of chakras as invisible, rechargeable batteries. They are charged and recharged through contact with the stream of cosmic energy in the atmosphere in much the same way that your home is connected to a central power source within a city – the only difference is that this cosmic energy source is free. Imagine this, a vertical power current rather like a fluorescent tube that runs up and down the spine, from the top of the head to the base of the spine. Think of this as your main source of energy. The seven major chakras are in the centre of the body and are aligned with this vertical “power line.”
Chakras connect your spiritual bodies to your physical one. They regulate the flow of energy throughout the electrical network (meridians) that runs through the physical body. The body’s electrical system resembles the wiring in a house. It allows electrical current to be sent to every part, and is ready for use when needed. Sometimes chakras become blocked because of stress, emotional or physical problems. If the body’s ‘energy system’ cannot flow freely it is likely that problems will occur. The consequence of irregular energy flow may result in physical illness and discomfort or a sense of being mentally and emotionally out of balance.
This image shows where the main chakras in are located in your body. You can read a brief, yet full explanation for each chakra below.
Chakra 7 – The Crown It’s colour is violet and is located at the top of your head. It is associated with the cerebral cortex, central nervous system and the pituitary gland. It is concerned with information, understanding, acceptance and bliss. It is said to be your own place of connection to God (as you know him), the Chakra of Divine purpose and personal destiny. Blockage can manifest as psychological problems.
Chakra 6 – The Third Eye (or Brow Chakra) It’s colour is Indigo (a combination of red and blue). It is located at the centre of your forehead at eye level or slightly above. This Chakra is used to question the spiritual nature of our life. It is the Chakra of question, perception and knowing. It is concerned with inner vision, intuition and wisdom. Your dreams for this life and recollections of other lifetimes are held in the Chakra. Blockage may manifest as problems like lack of foresight, mental rigidity, ‘selective’ memory and depression.
Chakra 5 – The Throat It’s colour is blue or turquoise and is located within the throat. It is the Chakra of communication, creativity, self-expression and judgment. It is associated with your neck, shoulders, arms, hands, thyroid and parathyroid glands. It is concerned with the senses of inner and outer hearing, the synthesizing of ideas, healing, transformation and purification. Blockage can show up as creative blocks, dishonesty or general problems in communicating ones needs to others.
Chakra 4 – The Heart It’s colour is green and it is located within your heart. It is the centre of love, compassion, harmony and peace. The Asians say that this is the house of the Soul. This Chakra is associated with your lungs, heart, arms, hands and thymus gland. We fall in love through our heart Chakra, then that feeling of unconditional love moves to the emotional centre, commonly known as the solar plexus. After that it moves into the sexual centre or Base Chakra where strong feelings of attraction can be released. When these energies move into the Base Chakra we may have the desire to marry and settle down. Blockage can show itself in the immune system, lung and heart problems, or manifest as inhumanity, lack of compassion or unprincipled behaviour.
Chakra 3 – The Solar Plexus It’s colour is yellow and is located a few inches above the navel in the solar plexus area. This Chakra is concerned with your digestive system, muscles, pancreas and adrenals. It is the seat of your emotional life. Feelings of personal power, laughter, joy and anger are associated with this centre. Your sensitivity, ambition and ability to achieve are stored here. Blockage may manifest as anger, frustration, and lack of direction or a sense of victimization.
Chakra 2 – The Sacral (or Naval Chakra) It’s colour is orange and it is located between the base of your spine and your naval. It is associated with your lower abdomen, kidneys, bladder, circulatory system and your reproductive organs and glands. It is concerned with emotion. This Chakra represents desire, pleasure, sexuality, procreation and creativity. Blockage may manifest as emotional problems, compulsive or obsessive behaviour and sexual guilt.
Chakra 1 – The Base (or Root Chakra) It’s colour is red and it is located at the perineum, base of your spine. It is the Chakra closest to the earth. It’s function is concerned with earthly grounding and physical survival. This Chakra is associated with your legs, feet, bones, large intestine and adrenal glands. It controls your fight or flight response. Blockage may manifest as paranoia, fear, procrastination and defensiveness.
Maya Mendoza is a published author of 3 personal development books. She has run an NLP / EFT Practice for 29 years, helping clients transform problems into personal power. Maya is also an accomplished copywriter and well known Digital Marketing & Social Media Strategies. http://www.bodymindsoulspirit.com/the-7-chakras-a-beginners-guide-to-your-energysystem/
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Understanding Adult ADHD IT FEELS LIKE YOU ARE A CHAMELEON LIVING ON A SMARTIE BOX By Heather Picton – Founder and CEO of ADHASA
“Living with my ADD partner is impossible – we swing from one extreme to the other and there is no middle ground! I cannot keep up with the clutter, or the trail of unfinished projects! We can never finish a conversation and I can no longer manage the determination to have it all their own way; or the moods which change in an instant with devastating effects on the family!
SOUND FAMILIAR? These are fairly common traits but certainly don’t cover all the aspects of ADHD in Adults. The condition manifests in many different ways and so not all adults with ADHD will have the same symptoms. Confusing, isn’t it? Symptoms of ADHD manifested by children are said to fall into three basic categories which are (1) Inability to pay attention (unless fascinated); (2) Impulsivity; and (3) Hyperactivity. Poor Organizing Skills fall under Inattention (no 1 above) and this alone can cause tremendous difficulty. Looking at the above helps us to understand a vast majority of ADHD unacceptable behaviours of in terms of these four points. The same basic symptoms can be expressed throughout their lives but in different ways. For example, the child who impulsively runs around the block may become the adult who drives to Durban on a whim. Some families seem to cope and manage their ADHD members in a way that they can accept themselves, but where there is no understanding and no coping strategies, things can fall apart. As symptoms of misunderstood and mismanaged ADHD combine to create further difficulties, this often leads to what has become one of the most damaging legacies of an ADHD childhood : poor self-esteem. It can have a powerful and devastating effect on every aspect of their life for as long as they are on this earth.
LOW SELF ESTEEM Poor self esteem is the most damaging “symptom” of all. The child, and later the adult, usually finds ways to work through his challenges, but it is far more difficult to work through a poor self esteem. Unfortunately low self-esteem in ADHD adults is very common because they have invariably struggled with the challenges of ADD since they were children. They probably tried their very best but were constantly told every single day that they were not trying hard enough; that their work wasn’t good enough; that they were naughty, lazy and plain bad! Often there was no one they could turn to for support. We are hurt when we hear one nasty comment, but consider what it’s like for children with ADHD who are verbally hammered every day? We all nurse those incidents in our childhood which still affect us as adults. But what about the ADHD adult who carries such an enormous burden from his earlier years … and still no-one really understands why he is so complicated, and is so over-sensitive. I have seen 30 year old adults with ADHD burst into tears of relief when they realise that they are not ‘bad people’, and finally understand that they’ve never had acceptance because nobody, and least of all themselves, understood the challenges and difficulties they faced on a daily basis.
Some of the saddest people I have ever met are ADD adults totally disillusioned with the human race.
WHAT CAN WE DO? A good place to start is taking the advice of Dr Edward Hallowell who suggested The Seven Habits of Highly Successful ADDers. In fact they make a lot of sense for all people: 1. Do what you are good at. 2. Delegate what you are bad at. 3. Connect your Creativity with an outlet. 4. Get well enough organized to meet your goals. 5. Ask for advice (Good Advice) where and whenever you can. 6. Make sure you keep close contact with your friends. 7. Go with your positive side; Run your life with your positive side.
THINK ABOUT IT: Do what you are good at: Think about it … is there any point in pushing a pen for the rest of your life if you struggle to write – you’re going to end up hating it! Find your strength and if possible find the kind of employment that entails using your strengths. If you love people and enjoy talking, maybe you should be a salesman. Try to incorporate your strengths into other activities as well. Delegate: If you are relying on your areas of weakness to earn your income it is inevitable that results can be disappointing. If you were forced to rely on them for most of your life, wouldn’t your life be less enjoyable? If possible, delegate tasks that you are bad at to someone else who has strengths in that area, and who enjoys that particular type of work more than you do. If you are not in the position to delegate, start changing things by reading books or joining courses in order to gain marketable skills your areas of strength. Creativity: If you are creative and enjoy painting, drawing, sculpting, writing, gardening or cooking, make time to be involved with and enjoy the activity. It would be even better if the family enjoy it too, but don’t expect your partner to have to pick up the mess or always wash the dishes after that sumptuous meal that used every dish in the kitchen! Organisation: Improved organisation may require assistance from partners, close friends, an educational psychologist or a coach who will help with structure and strategies.
Whichever way you choose it could prove invaluable as you find yourself meeting deadlines more easily, or being more punctual, or find yourself being better able to plan your life. It will help you feel much better about yourself.
SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING Adults with ADHD often need tremendous support and understanding and it can be heavy going for their partners. Even so, it can be highly rewarding for everyone concerned. A word of caution though; building your ADHD partner’s self-image is not to be at the expense of turning yourself into a doormat – it’s better if you both grow in the process. Twenty years ago few people even recognised that adults could be affected by ADHD and there was little help for them, not even in the medical field. There was usually little regard or sympathy for them. There is now so much information available and so many resources that a lot can be done to gain insight and understanding, and undo some of the harm. Thank heaven that people are becoming more aware of healthy eating, but unfortunately this is often avoided by the ADHDers – usually because it takes a bit of planning rather than stopping at the first fast food outlet. If only they realised what a tremendous difference healthy eating and supplementation with EFAs and multivitamins could make to their lives, no matter what their age, they’d change their eating habits immediately. But that is a topic I’ll be covering at a later date...
THE BRIGHTER SIDE People with ADHD often have many advantages over the rest of the population but are usually so bogged down with all the problems of ADHD that they often don’t recognise the gifts they have. Take time and, if possible, uncritically examine yourself and your partner. Look at some past events and you may be amazed at the overlooked talents and capabilities in your lives. Start using them and be surprised by what you can do.
By Heather Picton
According to the DSMV the terminology ADHD also covers ADD; which is what has been done in this article.
Children with ADHD may spend twelve or thirteen years of their lives in the school system, relying on their weaknesses every step of the way. The irony is that they usually have to go through the school system in order to secure a future in which they can choose to avoid the same kind of (school) environment, and find something else that they can enjoy and where they can excel!
Available at leading health stores and selected food stores or online at www.primalchow.co.za
Banting and Paleo treats for low carb living Selected Primal Chow products are a great addition to kids’ lunchboxes
The low-carb lifestyle is catching on fast worldwide as more and more people come to recognise the health risks posed by refined sugars (high-glycemic carbohydrates). The carb-heavy food pyramid, which has dominated conventional nutritional thinking for 50 years, is being turned on its head!
the primal pantry. Healthy snacking has never been easier.
Whether it’s Banting* or Paleo**, this new way of eating (also broadly known as the ketogenic diet where the body uses fats, not sugars, as its primary energy source), is designed to prevent wild swings in insulin levels, now widely believed to be the trigger for obesity and a host of illnesses.
* Banting diet A high-fat, moderate-protein, low-carb diet popularized by Prof Tim Noakes, but with its origins in the late 19th Century. Hugely successful in the weight-loss arena and targeted mainly at those with insulin-related health problems (i.e. most health problems!)
Introducing Primal Chow, an extensive range (over 40 products) of quality "primal" foods and snacks that support the dietary requirements of those following the Banting and Paleo lifestyles. Gluten/grain-free, without refined sugars, but high in good fats from sources such as butter, coconuts, almonds & olives, the Primal Chow range is a delicious addition to
The Primal Chow range consists of cookies, biscuits, crackers, seed & nut mixes, granolas, Banting Butters (made with MCT oil) as well as pre-mixes (breads, brownies, muffins etc).
** Paleo diet A ketogenic diet based on the nutritional habits of our Paleolithic ancestors (hunter-gatherers), this diet is typically favoured by athletes or those following an active lifestyle. Less restrictive than Banting when it comes to sugars (eg honey and dates are allowed), Paleo, however, excludes dairy products. Primal Chow is distributed by Absolute Organix, 13 Macintyre St Jeppestown Johannesburg. www.absoluteorganix.co.za (011) 614 5822
Everyone Should Know This: How to Survive a Heart Attack If You Are Alone At the Time
According to a survey, 80% of deaths caused by heart attack are cases when the person had been alone and unable to ask for help. Which are the signs of heart attack? At the beginning it feels like sharp pain in the chest spreading to the arm and jaw. You have about 15 seconds before you lose your consciousness. In some cases, the symptoms appear slowly and last for longer, meaning that you have more time to go to the nearest hospital or seek for help. Instead of putting your life at risk and waiting for help, try coughing as hard as you can! Cough constantly! Take deep breath before coughing. Cough deeply. Take deep breaths and cough every 2 seconds until you get some help or your heart starts beating normally. Deep breaths bring oxygen to the lungs and body motions press your heart and regulate circulation. Applying pressure on your heart helps restoring normal rhythm.
Surviving a heart attack is probably the best “skill� you can master, because it will save your life, and also the life of a complete stranger
In the meantime, ask your neighbors for help or use your phone. Remember, you should not stop coughing while you are talking on the phone. Coughing will save your life. According to experts, people who cough while asking for help manage to reach to the hospital and get some proper help. However, there is not strong scientific evidence on the efficacy of this method, but doctors suggest doing it once the first symptoms of heart attack appear. Seek for medical help, because sometimes you cannot cough deeply enough to regulate your heart beating and stay conscious. Anyway, it is good to know more about this method, because sometimes it can save someone’s life.
Sourced from: http://www.healthyfoodhouse.com/everyone-should-know-this-how-to-survive-a-heartattack-if-you-are-alone-at-the-time-1/
Panic attacks can be triggered by a fearful thought, or recalling a bad experience, and combined with an overall state of anxiety it produces an intense physiological reaction. The feelings of panic can include any of the following:
a rapid (and possibly arrhythmic) heart rate, headaches, dryness in the mouth, dizziness, gastric/internal distress, the feeling of losing control.
(There are many other symptoms in addition to these that some people experience.) Here is a very powerful way of stopping panic and anxiety attacks. It is simple to follow, and it has worked for many people who have suffered from panic attacks, as well as for many who confronted with unusual difficult situations. This works very well to calm yourself in an emergency of any kind, where you feel you are losing control of your emotions.
Gain control over your breathing. A common feature to all panic attacks is rapid, shallow, arrhythmic breathing. This kind of breathing triggers a physiological stress reaction in your body. Rapid breathing leads to rapid heart rate. Arrhythmic breathing, which is when your breathing is not even in its inhalation and exhalation, and the length of each one keeps changing, causes the beating of your heart to
become chaotic and arrhythmic rather than coherent. Another common thing people do in a panic attack is to hold the breath, typically at the end of the exhalation. So your first step during an attack is to notice how you are breathing, and gain control over your breath. It’s important that you stop holding your breath right away. Keep the breath moving, in and out. Control over your breath is a fundamental source of self-control.
Make your breath slower. You might have to move toward making your breath slower in steps. Simply move toward a slower breath with each breath you take. One good way to do it is through a sighing action, where you take a deep breath in, then let it out like a sigh, perhaps even with the sound “ahhh”. Making that sound will help to awaken the power of your heart.
Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. This pattern of breath is called the Water Breath, and it has the effect of moving your energy downward and forward. Moving your energy down is enormously helpful for a panic attack, which is basically a negative feedback loop, where fearful emotions are triggered, leading to fearful thoughts, stimulating a physical response, which then leads to more fearful feelings and thoughts. Using the Water Breath moves the energy away from your head, down into your heart and your body, which will help you settle down, as your body is responding to your mind. (Your body doesn’t have a racing heart because of your level of exertion).
Place your hands on your heart. Like #3, placing your hands on your heart will move your energy downward.
Feel your emotions. When emotions are so powerful, and feel so negative, it may seem like you’re already feeling them — you just want them to stop! The thing is, you’re not really feeling your emotions, you are resisting them. That is why they persist, and why they become more intense. Your heart is sending you a message; don’t ignore it. Let your heart tell you the message. Be open to it, even though it’s being sent to you through fear. That’s just to get your attention.
These five methods are powerful enough to stop any panic attack. And the wonderful thing is that these methods also work to reduce anxiety, even to the point where you end it altogether.
4 Practical ways for Women to Recover from Everyday Life Exhaustion By Emma Derman Teitel
The radical notion of rest — why it is vitally important that we do it. Too exhausted to think, too overwhelmed to respond, too fast, too full, too much, not enough, it’s a lot. These are the words I hear almost every day, from the voices of the women I sit with. So, what is it that has us exhausted, depleted, un-inspired and desperate for the next best thing to make us feel better, more alive, more inspired?
It is a deep rejection of rest. Choosing rest is choosing to take a radical stand for the feminine. We will get very little validation or high-fives for lying in bed all day, sitting in the grass and watching it grow or closing our eyes in the middle of the afternoon. Few will celebrate our silence or our, “I don’t know what’s next-ness.” And it is rare to receive recognition as we float in the ocean of vast mystery. When we choose rest, it is easy to feel unworthy. In stillness, it is easy to question our value. It may look as if absolutely nothing is happening. And yet in the absence of doing, we will be faced with the greatest task of all—befriending and trusting our own exquisite nature. That which cannot be spoken, that which cannot be done, that which can only be felt from the inside out. When we choose rest, we are choosing to restore what is broken. We are mending the tapestry of life that has become painfully undone with the demand of modern life. To rest is a radical act of dissent from the collective devotion to speed—it is to claim a space of inner freedom. When we resist rest we once again degrade the feminine. It is to abuse her, to ignore her, to call her names and to strip her of her value. It is to delude ourselves into thinking that if we do enough, eventually we will be worthy.
And yet, when we honor rest, we are taking a powerful stance for the return of the feminine in one of her most glorious forms. Sure, there are the necessary planetary shakes going on as women rise up from all corners of the earth, changing politics, starting businesses, raising families, traveling, falling in love and everything in between. And yet, for these contributions and creations to experience sustainability, we must also rest.
Four practical ways to make space for rest. 1. Give
yourself a 24-hour break from talking.
With so much collective wounding in women—around holding back, not taking up enough space or playing small there, is an insurgence of self-expression occurring for many of us, myself included! We live in a day and age where there are infinite platforms and channels through which to write, speak, make videos and share our thoughts, feelings and experiences. This is beautiful and I am in full support, yet no woman is designed to produce indefinitely. Many spiritual traditions, including yoga, honor and recognize the important role of silence for preserving creativity, increasing consciousness and restoring balance. Commit to a 24-hour period without talking. Depending on your work situation and/or if you are a parent, it may definitely require a bit of extra planning or you many only get a few hours, but either way, take the time, you will be amazed at what you find in the silence.
2. Take a full day off and spend it being. So often, when we have a vacation or a break from work, the mind immediately starts crafting up brilliant plans for places we want to travel, things we want to get done, people we want to see and personal projects to knock of the to-do list. While this is all wonderful and important, it keeps our bodies and our minds in a state of perpetual doing. Operating at this pace keeps the softer, subtler and more intuitive parts of our awareness at bay and ultimately this limits our overall capacity as human beings. Being is the key word here. How can you set yourself up for being? Perhaps it is sitting outside on the grass as you savor a delicious meal and watching the birds, or maybe it is lying down in bed and watching the trees outside the window. Whatever it is, I invite you to do less and to pay close attention to what emerges in your mind, body and soul.
3. Give yourself a tech detox. I will be one of the first to raise my hand with gratitude, appreciation and love for my technology. And yet, too much tech can quickly tip any woman over the edge. There are an infinite number of apps, ideas, articles, websites and inspirations to plug into, yet constantly turning our attention outwards means that we are missing an entire universe of experience within ourselves. The inner world is our most fertile soil. It is from here where all original insight arises. So, give yourself the gift of turning off the cell phone, closing the computer and attuning to your inner world. You will be amazed at the colorful and complex world that is waiting for you.
4. Notice the spaces between. Commit to noticing the pauses before the actions for an entire day. Feel the gap before the key unlocks the door or starts the car. Feel the space before food enters your mouth or the stillness before your finger hits the computer key. We go through thousands of tiny transitions each day, see if you can be more conscious of what is happening before each new action. The symphony of life can easily create the illusion that something is only happening when the tempo is fast and the beats are audible. And yet, there would be no symphony without the silence, there would be no beauty to the sound without the gaps in between. From the ripe and pregnant pause is the very origin point of life itself. From emptiness emerges form, from stillness arises inspiration and from the void brilliance ascends. Unplug the phone, close the laptop, walk outside or find your way to the bed.
Rest dear woman, your soul will thank you. I want to live in a world where all girls and women feel connected to themselves and trust the magnitude and depth of their own brilliance. I have found my unique way of contributing to this larger mission by becoming a psychotherapist, coach and women’s group facilitator.
www.emmateitel.com
Antibiotic Resistance By Dr Marco Knappe
Less than 75 years ago, the first patient was treated with an antibiotic. Since then, intense research has resulted in many different classes of anti-microbial drugs. However, their abuse and overuse have led to the current situation, where resistance of bacteria to antibiotics is not only a daily feature in our hospitals, but has even made the agenda of the recent G7 summit. Although this is a world-wide phenomenon and calls have been made for global intervention, legislation and the implementation thereof will be at best flawed and circumvented and at worst, completely ineffective, or too late. If politicians are unable to tackle this problem which affects everybody on this planet, how can we, as individuals, intervene? There are roughly three main causes for antibiotic resistance: - Ill advised choice of antibiotic, length of course, or dosage, particularly in hospital and more specifically, in ICU settings, can result in the emergence of “super bugs” that no longer respond to commercially available antibiotics. - Injudicious use of antibiotics in patients with conditions that do not warrant the use of an antibiotic (i.e. viral infection, flu) will lead to resistant strains of bacteria surviving. These bacteria can be passed on to others. - Large amounts of antibiotics are used in animal husbandry. Evolving resistance is transmitted to humans via animal products (meat, milk, eggs etc.) or via the environment (animal waste, water pollution, direct contact). The “man in the street” whose knowledge about bacteria, antibiotic classes, side effects etc. is limited, as is his ability to correctly interpret test results, is reliant on medical professionals to properly administer treatment and is unable to make any impact on the first point. Treating doctors, in conjunction with microbiologists, are called upon to optimize the therapy with the aim of best treatment outcome for the patient and the least chance of resistance (and hence risk for the whole community) resulting from this. Propositions to implement “antibiotic prescribing licences” for doctors have been made. The second and third points however, allow any of us to make conscious decisions, or have a substantial say in the decisions being made for us by healthcare professionals and food producers (the latter not being part of this article). Common colds are the most common reason antibiotics are being prescribed. This is despite the fact that they are viral diseases and antibiotics do not work against viruses. Between 90 and 95% of acute colds, sinus and bronchial infections are caused by viruses and therefore do not warrant antibiotics. The motives for which they are still being prescribed are: patient insistence, physicians having insufficient time to explain why it is better not to use one, the inability of the doctor to distinguish between viral and bacterial infection and over-caution for medical or legal reasons. Almost 50% of people still believe that an antibiotic helps treat a cold, some even believe that it will improve the pain of a sore throat or toothache.
In reality, the only way for our bodies to combat viral infections, is our own immune system and its ability to recognise, analyse and eliminate the offending organism. There is no drug that can kill the viruses that cause common ailments such as colds, flu, sore throats and bronchitis. Correct treatment, is therefore ideally directed at supporting our immune system; it must certainly try to avoid interventions that have a negative effect on our body’s defence mechanisms. In today’s world, it is your right and your responsibility as a patient, or parent, to be part of the decision making and therapeutic choice. Antibiotics when used correctly, kill bacteria that threaten our health. In the process they also kill the “good” bacteria in our body. Remember, that for every cell in our body, we carry ten bacteria on or within us. Until recently, we believed that they are just passengers in a more or less symbiotic relationship. We know now, that they play a far greater role and communicate with our body’s cells, affect brain function, immune processes and basically all other organs and systems in our bodies. When used without the benefit of killing offending bugs, antibiotics will only display their negative effects with the possibility of serious long-term implications. Classical cold and flu medications contain antihistamines, pseudoephedrine or even cortisone and are aimed at drying up secretions. None of these should be used in acute upper or lower respiratory infections. The “drying up” of secretions usually results in thickened mucus which the body cannot transport out of sinuses or bronchi. Thick, gooey secretions are a wet, warm, nutrient rich breeding grounds for bacteria, which often leads to secondary infections necessitating the need for an antibiotic. Ideal support of the body’s innate immune system in the upper and lower airways is the maintenance or reestablishment of moist, clean membranes. This is one of the easiest and most natural ways of improving the clearance of offending organisms in nose, sinuses, throat and bronchi. Hypertonic saline is classically used as a spray or rinse for nose and sinuses and in nebulised form, for bronchi and lungs. It reduces swelling, moistens the membranes and triggers the production of clear mucus to further clean the membranes. It is also effective as a prophylactic treatment in patients at high risk for airway infections (i.e. crèche children, healthcare workers, air travellers, people exposed to air conditioners etc.). Pain and fever medication should be considered when and where necessary. Improved knowledge about simple medical conditions and their correct treatment allows people to take charge of their own or their family’s health. It will save time and expenses and is an important first step in the global fight against antibiotic resistance. About Dr Marco Knappe: Dr Marco Knappe qualified as a medical doctor in 1989. As intern and medical officer he worked at several hospitals in different provinces of South Africa. He specialised as an otolaryngologist at Tygerberg Hospital, University of Stellenbosch between 1995 and 1999. Since 2000 he has been in private practice in Cape Town at N1City Hospital and Cape Gate Mediclinic.
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Gluten-free... Fad or Fact?
Does it ever seem like the whole world is going gluten-free? You’re not imagining it – the number of people who are adapting a gluten-free lifestyle is fast increasing and this is because most people feel better without it. The top reasons people eliminate gluten are less bloating and digestive issues and more energy. A gluten-free diet completely eliminates foods that contain gluten, a protein found in wheat, barley and rye. People with celiac disease or who are gluten intolerant will feel pain after eating gluten rich foods such as pasta, bread or pastries and will suffer from abdominal discomfort on a regular basis. Pouyoukas has a number of items that are gluten free and one that can be very useful in baking is rice flour. This recipe for a gluten free banana lemon loaf is lemony, moist and delicious. It will stay fresh for a few days. Even if you do not suffer from gluten sensitivity, you should try this fantastic recipe. Pouyoukas Foods will be launching a new recipe book with over 80 mouthwatering recipes. For more information on the nutritional benefits of products in the Pouyoukas Foods range, as well as cooking tips and recipes, visit the website www.pouyoukas.co.za Follow PouyoukasFoods on twitter. Like Pouyoukas on facebook.
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Gluten-free banana lemon loaf 2 cups Pouyoukas rice flour 3 tsp baking powder ½ tsp salt 1 cup plus 2 tbsp butter 1¼ cups sugar 3 medium bananas 4 large eggs 4 tbsp icing sugar 1 tbsp lemon juice
Method: Preheat oven to 180°C. Sift flour with baking powder and salt. Beat the butter, sugar and bananas until smooth and then stir in the eggs. Stir this into the flour mixture until blended. Pour into a large loaf pan and bake for about 1-1¼ hours or until a skewer comes out clean and the cake is just firm. Cool for 10 minutes and then mix the sugar with the lemon juice and drizzle over the top. About Pouyoukas Foods: Pouyoukas Foods are of the highest quality, carefully selected from around the world. From seeds and legumes to essential flours and snack products, Pouyoukas products are the perfect addition to any pantry. Visit the Pouyoukas website at www.pouyoukas.co.za.
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Long associated with winter (candy canes and peppermints), this medicinal herb has a host of healing properties and has been used that way since ancient times. Dried peppermint leaves have even been found in several Egyptian pyramids—carbon dating places them around 1000 BC. If it worked for Pharaoh, you may want to give it a try too. Peppermint (Mentha piperita) is an exceptional component in a natural tool chest. As to its botanical lineage, there are about 25 different species of mint: Peppermint is actually a naturally occurring hybrid between water mint and spearmint. Indigenous to Europe, peppermint is now spread throughout the world, to the point that it is considered invasive in Australia, the Galapagos Islands, New Zealand, and parts of the US. It typically grows in moist habitats like alongside streams and in drainage ditches.
What’s it good for? Peppermint helps alleviate many stomach and bowel problems, tuberculosis, hay fever, shingles pain (topical application), memory problems (aroma), and nausea. It protects against radiation exposure, treats herpes, helps prevent cavities and bad breath, and is a decongestant. Added to a bath it can also help reduce muscle pain. Apply it to your skin and scalp: Its antiseptic and antibacterial properties will cool your skin and kill dandruff and lice.
How do I take it? There are many ways to take peppermint. You can get peppermint oil capsules, add peppermint oil to tea or water, add fresh peppermint leaves to cold water, or drink peppermint tea. (Check out the peppermint tea from Traditional Medicinals and Tazo—both are quite good.) If you suffer from insomnia, try a cup of peppermint tea right before bed: A naturally caffeine-free tea, it has been shown to be effective in treating sleep deprivation. You can add the fresh leaves to soups, fruit salads, lettuce salads, or anything else you think it might complement. Fresh leaves will have a superior flavor to dry leaves for cooking purposes, and fresh mint leaves also make fantastic tea.
Aroma of mint The aromatic properties of mint have been prized for millennia. In areas where mint grows in abundance, people have rubbed it on their dining tables, spread it on the floor, burned it for incense, added it to their baths, and (of course) served it in their tea.
Grow your own Mint is hardy and easy to grow. It will grow well inside in a large pot that gets moderate sun. Keep the soil moist and you can enjoy its benefits all year round. If you plant it outdoors in the spring be careful—its runners can take over an open space.
SPIRULINA THE PURE NUTRITION FROM NATURE A healthy diet with enough fluids may help provide the energy needed for daily performance. Fatigue and poor performance may be a result of not getting the right nutrition, water, vitamins and from being sleep deprived. Spirulina is a superfood and research shows that it boosts energy, improves stamina and prolongs endurance naturally. Spirulina has been identified by the UN to potentially help fight malnutrition and according to NASA scientists, "one gram of [Spirulina] algae has the nutritional equivalent of 1000 grams of fruits and vegetables" http://www.prweb.com/releases/bitsofhealth/olympics/prweb9773257.htm According to research, Spirulina has, gram for gram, 300% more calcium than whole milk, 2300% more iron than spinach, 3900% more beta-carotene than carrots and 375% more protein than tofu. In addition, three grams of Spirulina has more antioxidant and anti-inflammatory activity than five servings of vegetables (Moorhead K, Capelli B, Cysewski Dr GR: Spirulina, Nature's Superfood, Cyanotech Corporation 2006). Studies have shown that poor nutrition and fitness may not only causes obesity but also affects academic performance in children http://www.californiahealthykids.org/articles/NPA _3.pdf
Try this easy to make Spirulina energy shake at home: A Coconut Spirulina Energy Drink Coconut water is Potassium-rich and nature's best isotonic drink. Spirulina is a protein-rich algae that contains 8 essential and 10 nonessential amino acids, potassium, energy giving B vitamins such as B1, B2, and B6, and magnesium, a mineral essential for energy. Ingredients: Coconut water and ½-teaspoon Spirulina powder. Directions: Pour coconut water into sports bottle and mix in the Spirulina powder. Tightly secure bottle cap and shake well. If you cannot stand the taste of Spirulina, just take 500mg tablets and down them with the coconut water in between training or workouts. This can also be consumed as a pre-workout drink. Source: Yahoo
What is ThetaHealing® and How Can It Help You?
Eric Richardson pictured with Nianell, Singer, Songwriter and ThetaHealing® Practitioner & Instructor
We caught up with Eric Richardson, CEO and instructor at Theta Healing® SA to find out more about Theta Healing® and how it can help all of us to live our best lives. What is ThetaHealing®? Where does it come from? How does it work? Almost two decades ago, Vianna Stibal, from the USA, discovered that accessing the powerful theta brain wave state enabled her to help another person experience emotional, spiritual and physical healing from God or “the divine energy that moves in all things”. The only blocks to the healing was the person’s limiting subconscious beliefs and the negative energies in the person’s electromagnetic field. Vianna discovered a range of energy based techniques that could help intuitive communication with the body and mind, remove blocks to healing, release radiation and psychic hooks from the body, balance the brain chemicals and chakras, and replace negative belief programs instantly with empowering thoughts and feelings enabling the creation of health, happiness and abundance. Since then Vianna has written a number of books, and has established the ThetaHealing® Institute of Knowledge in the USA which trains teachers of ThetaHealing® and regulates the modality. ThetaHealing® training appeals to NLP practitioners, hypnotherapists, coaches, psychics, energy healers, holistic doctors and therapists, and people who have an interest in the law of attraction, or spiritual and self-development. How did you hear about and get into ThetaHealing®? During a trip to London in 2008, I bought an international mind body spirit magazine. It featured a number of healing modalities which looked very interesting but when I read the article on ThetaHealing® something resonated deep within me and I felt that this something that could be of great help to me. At the time I was managing director of the charity. Trying to raise money to keep the work going was a huge focus of my job, and there were months when I didn’t earn a salary because the grant had not been raised or paid to the charity yet. It was very stressful and affected my health. The article on ThetaHealing® highlighted that our health is directly affected by the subconscious programmes which have become installed in our lifetime, or through ancestral memory, genetics and the collective consciousness. It suggested that by learning ThetaHealing®, one could tap into the quantum field and release these old outdated programs which had been causing illness and life challenges. As a former lecturer in Education I was also intrigued by its claim that ThetaHealing® could fully activate the DNA and shift consciousness enabling people to align with soul and the divine, becoming co-creators of health and abundance. Because the modality was not yet in South Africa I decided to learn its techniques on a visit to London in 2009. It was awesome to see how quickly I witnessed emotional, physical and spiritual change in my own life. By changing my beliefs and releasing blocks from my electromagnetic field, I was able to start living without continued anxiety but in a state of complete calmness and trust in the universe. I could easily release resentments, sorrow and pain from my body. I then started using the techniques on others, and decided that I needed to learn how to teach people how to be practitioners so that I would not be the only one in South Africa using and promoting this amazing modality. I have subsequently done additional training in New Zealand, England and the USA, and have even learned how to use ThetaHealing® to release prejudices from a person’s subconscious mind. I have taught all over South Africa.
What is a typical thetahealing® session like? ThetaHealing® has three intertwining parts: firstly it’s about the words we speak to others and the self-talk that runs inside our minds. Identifying these words is a key to unlocking our unnoticed beliefs that form the way we see the world. An individual ThetaHealing® session starts with a brief conversation about an issue, explores how we feel about it and addresses the effects it has on our everyday life. The practitioners asks questions, listens, scans and uses simple muscle testing to find the key negative subconscious beliefs that may be from early life, past times, DNA, or our soul’s journey. If we choose to change these beliefs, the practitioner begins the second part of ThetaHealing® by going into a meditation space using the theta brain waves and their intuitive senses. She tunes into the quantum field, and then witnesses divine energy changing these beliefs and being replaced by empowering beliefs which connect with the soul essence of the client. No hypnosis or tapping is used. This is a powerful way to clear long-standing issues and prepares us for the third aspect of ThetaHealing® where we work within the body. Once we have cleared our deep limiting beliefs, our body’s vibration is raised and becomes ready for healing (physical and emotional). Depending on what is needed, the practitioner may also speak with your angels or higher self, release soul fragments, download feelings, or facilitate some of the other processes that can enable you to discover and express your true self. Every step is done through intuitive guidance from the Creator and with the client’s permission, and illness is always seen as a symptom of a deeper issue and associated belief programmes “running the body”. Who should see a thetahealing® practitioner? I think anyone with a life or health challenge would benefit from seeing a ThetaHealing® practitioner. He or she can help you with issues relating to self-confidence, well-being, abundance, fears, phobias, procrastination, ancestral curses, heath challenges and illness, self-sabotaging behaviours, wedding jitters, emotional eating, codependency issues, perfectionism, boundary issues, spiritual growth, sexuality issues, relationships, guilt, shame, resentment, rejection, regret and so on. As agents of personal transformation, the practitioner will get to the root cause and with your permission change the programmes. Some changes to wellbeing may seem to only take moments, others may unfold over time, or clients may choose to return for several sessions to resolve their issues. How can a person find out more and find a thetahealing® practitioner? Visit www.thetahealing.co.za where you can find out about the courses and a listing of practitioners in your area. You can also sign up on the website for the free newsletter.
by Helen Hansen
The 1900’s was termed The Century of the Child. Out of it was born the likes of Maria Montessori and Rudolf Steiner, just two examples of leaders in the field of Child Education. During this time, a large focus and understanding was on the importance of play. Now days, in the digital age, much of this free time of playing outside, daydreaming and what adults may call ‘doing nothing’ has been replaced with screen viewing of a varied kind. Could this have something to do with the emotional turmoil many youth experiences? Is is possible that this is part of the reason that some parents medicate their children? In a world where most adults pride themselves in multi-tasking, many children find themselves gearing towards this trend as well. Parents often believe that the sooner a child learns something, the greater the chance s/he will retain it. This is a myth. In fact, the opposite has been proven by Dr. Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, co-author of ‘Einstein never used flashcards: How our children really learn and why they need to play more and memorise less’. She explains that free time provides an opportunity to process information, establish comprehension and build the intellect. Such is the case when the kids build a fort outside, play dress up or just sit staring into ‘nothing’. “During empty hours, kids explore the world at their own pace, develop their own unique set of interests and indulge in the sort of fantasy play that will help them to figure out how to create their own happiness, handle problems on their own, and sensibly manage their own time. That’s a critical life skill,” says Dr. Hirsh-Pasek. She continues: “As parents we have a choice, we can groom our children to be worker-bees – to take in information and spit it right back out – or we can help them be creative problem solvers, to look at a cloud and see dinosaurs or birds, to be energised by their own imaginations and curiosity.”
This is good news for those parents who are compelled to “do more” for their kids, while the old adage still rings out, “Less is More”. The pressure of taxiing, commitments and financial obligations is off. If, however, one still feels drawn to clocking up the activities, one needs to ask the question, ‘Am I doing this for me or my child?’. Besides the learning advantages, mentioned above, other benefits include a calming down of emotions. Some children who are so used to being busy may need time to acclimatise to the new way of being. The best way to introduce a new habit into the family is to lead by example. Let your loved ones see you relaxed and in a pleasurable state of chilling out, without resorting to looking at the screen during this time. If you think
DID YOU KNOW! ‘Doing nothing’ is especially helpful for children who are prone to anger or irritability. Likewise, minor health concerns may be remedied with a dose of down time, enabling the young person, who does not fully understand himself or herself yet, to turn inward and nurture themselves.
this is a tall order and know you will be thinking about all the things you could be doing, remind yourself that there is a myriad of functions that are occurring within you which are not visible to the naked eye. For one, your brain is letting go and making space for the next important download (things forgotten have a tendency to pop up in this zone). Your internal organs are doing their job that is best done in a calm state, and this is increasing your longevity; plus, your breathing is stabilising which means you are now in a position to listen attentively and retain composure, bringing out the best you. Finally, those things you wanted to do you will probably be able to do more efficiently following some ‘Me Time.’
So, it’s time to get busy, busy doing nothing.
2015 Look, feel, participate You will have the opportunity to view exhibitions, listen to fascinating talks & participate in workshops & sacred ceremonies Experience An array of spiritual, healing, therapeutic & holistic modalities
Following on the success of Soulspace 2013, we are happy to announce a continuation of this inspiring festival in Soulspace 2015 A unique spiritual festival where practitioners working with creative healing energies will converge and share this gift. A space to explore the landscape of spirituality in a new era of conscious living, wellness and inner peace
3 & 4 October 2015 Where? Cabanga, Northriding, Jhb
Interact with Psychic practitioners, healers, shamans, therapists & many more Soulspace kids An enchanting space for our little ones to explore and enjoy
Soulspace welcomes and encourages any form of self-expression
Info: Jean - 082 949 9449 - jean@soulspace.co.za | Tickets: www.quicket.co.za
The Child of the Universe free online Conscious Lifestyle Magazine is proud to be the media partner for Soulspace. To subscribe email: lifestylemag@childoftheuniverse.co.za with the subject: Subscribe
fitness & health
Lisa Raleigh’s full body workout no equipment needed!!
Budget, time and no equipment are three common reasons for putting off exercise. This full body workout combats all three – each move can be done in the comfort of your own home, with no equipment whatsoever! Whatever your reason for staying indoors (the chilly months might be to blame!), there’s nothing holding you back from a balanced and effective workout.
Step up and lean
Stand in front of an elevated surface, holding your elbows in front of you for balance. With one foot raised onto the surface, step up until both legs are straight. Lift your free leg higher up behind you and balance for a moment, then lower back down to your starting position. Aim for 3 sets of 10-15 reps with each leg.
Elevated Push Up:
Start in traditional plank position, with your legs elevated behind you on a step or low table. Keeping your arms wide apart and sticking elbows out to the side, lower your chin close to the ground. Hold for a moment then extend up to your starting position. Aim for 3 sets of 5-10 reps.
Extended Fire hydrant
Position yourself on all fours, with one leg pointed out to the side. Keeping the rest of your body in place, raise the extended leg up in line with your shoulders. Pause for a moment then return to your starting position. Aim for 3 sets of 10-15 reps with each leg.
Extended reverse crunch:
Lie on your back with ankles crossed and knees drawn fairly close in to your forehead. With tummy engaged and head and shoulders off the ground, extend your legs out into a straight line. Your ankles should still be crossed. Pause for a moment then return to your starting point. Aim for 3 sets of 10-15 reps.
Full Bridge:
Sit on the ground with your hands behind you and knees bent. Slowly raise up into the bridge position, forming a straight line from head to knees. Hold this for 3-5 seconds then slowly lower back down. Aim for 3 sets of 5-10 reps.
Lisa’s Healthy Recipes By Lisa Raleigh Sugar Free Cranberry Muffins Ingredients: 500ml plain Greek yoghurt 1 egg 62,5ml coconut oil, melted 62,5ml water / coconut water 250ml dried cranberries 500ml wholewheat flour 250ml cake flour 15ml baking powder 125ml xylitol
Method: Whisk together all the wet ingredients and sugar. Add dry ingredients. Spoon into lightly-greased muffin tray, or paper cases. Bake in Preheated oven at 180 C for 30 minutes, until just golden. Serve warm with a blob of smooth low fat cottage cheese or grated mozzarella and honey.
Guilt Free Chocolate Smoothie Ingredients: 1 heaped T pumpkin/sunflower seeds 1 heaped T goji berries 2 heaped T raw oats 2 heaped t raw cacao ½ avocado ½ frozen banana / regular banana and a few blocks of ice 1 cup coconut water Drizzle honey (optional) Method: Blend together and enjoy!
Beauty Without Cruelty est. 1975 is an animal rights organisation with a primary objective to educate and inform the public about the exploitation, abuse and suffering of animals and to offer humane non-animal alternatives to replace cruel and harmful lifestyle choices. Humane education is the key to changing people’s attitudes towards animals; they have lives that are meaningful to them and although they may be different from humans, that does not mean they are inferior! All life is valuable and BWC promotes respect and consideration for all species, including invertebrates. BWC will work with other organisations on educational programmes designed to encourage compassion, respect and care for animals especially in young people, which will in turn lead to a the humane treatment of humans and a more compassionate society. It is only through the generosity of the public that we can continue fighting animal exploitation and we rely on public support through donations, annual support and the WW MySchool/ Planet/ Village card. Please visit www.bwcsa.co.za for information on the many issues that require attention, including pet shops (as opposed to adopting from shelters) our humane guide for personal care and household cleaners, wildlife exploitation and extermination, animals in entertainment, foie gras, cosmetic and medical testing and more.
babies & beyond
The Birthing Journey How do you want to experience this beautiful process? South Africa has a shockingly high C-section rate in the private sector because, according to our doctors, we are unable to give natural birth safely. Some of the excuses are ridiculous, such as allowing your shoe size to dictate that you can't birth naturally. Or at 9 weeks of pregnancy your doctor says your baby is going to be too big for natural birth?? Or your pelvis is not suitable for natural birth. You see it is much easier to simply schedule a C-section as it fits in so nicely with everyone’s lives… but does it really? What about yours and your baby’s birthing journey?
It is time for us women in general but especially in South Africa to stand up and show that we have a voice. We were made to birth naturally and therefore only require a midwife and a doula by our sides. Doctors are awesome and are needed, but only for high risk mums to be.
Oageng Baby Link is a sanctuary, a home away from where expectant mothers who don't want to give birth in a hospital, can enjoy the birthing process in a private, tender, calm, supportive and understanding environment.
An environment where you, the mother, can experience the wonders of natural birth and allow your body to guide you in what is best for you and your baby in the birthing process. What position and environment feels most natural to you, the type of involvement and support you would like your partner to give you. We understand that the giving birth is an intimate and beautiful process and thus it is treated as such by us.
The sanctuary is described as a home-like facility where healthy pregnant woman can give birth without medical intervention unless required.
Stand up mums and choose where and how YOU want to birth, don't simply listen to your doctor and don't allow your medical aid to decide your birthing place, they will always have restrictions and limitations. If you wish to feel treated like a queen during pregnancy, labour and birth book your bed now or call us on 011-6407170 or 083-3108162 or visit www.oagengbabylink.co.za Find us at: 134 17th Street, Linksfield. Like us on: www.facebook.com/oagengbabylink
Overcoming postnatal depression PND does not mean you’re a bad mother Unlike mothers who experience strong emotions of love, joy and fulfilment at childbirth, a significant number of new moms suffer from ‘baby blues’ which, in some cases, may persist and result in a more severe, long-lasting form of depression commonly known as postpartum or postnatal depression (PND). “Having a baby, whether it’s your first child or not, is often a particularly stressful time for the mother and the family. The hormonal changes that a mother’s body undergoes, as well as the physical discomfort from the birthing process, contribute to an emotional response that can feel very overwhelming. Having feelings of sadness, tearfulness or just feeling ‘down’, irritability and mood swings shortly after birth affects up to 80% of new moms and is considered very normal as your body and lifestyle adjust to the new baby. These are termed the’ baby blues’. However, when these feelings persist for longer than 3 to 4 weeks, a diagnosis of post-natal depression can be considered,” explains Tamryn Coats, counselling psychologist and researcher at Akeso Specialised Psychiatric Clinics. She cautions that timeous treatment is most important. “PND is a very serious and concerning condition, for both mom and baby. Research suggests that the baby’s development in the first 1001 days from conception to approximately 2 years of age is incredibly important in laying the foundation for attachment and how they will relate to others in their life ahead. Their brain development is so rapid that their brains are establishing neural pathways at a rate of one million connections per second between birth and 18 months! Therefore mothers experiencing difficultly during this phase should get support immediately so they better able to facilitate the needs of their baby during this time.”
Symptoms According to Coats, PND has the same symptoms as a depressive episode, namely sadness, tearfulness, constant fatigue, lack of concentration and energy, feeling overwhelmed, loss of pleasure and interest, sleeping and eating difficulties, excessive worry, problems bonding with the baby, feelings of worthlessness, even thoughts of suicide and harm. “A lot of moms go through the first year with some or all of these symptoms thinking that it’s normal to feel this way. Once you are better informed of what to look out for, you are in a better position to judge your own mental health. Sometimes friends and family members will pick up signs and symptoms that worry them and mention this to you, but often these are the feelings that people don’t talk about regarding childbirth and rearing, which contribute to the stifling sense of loneliness that moms who are going through PND experience,” says Coats. She dismisses the perpetuated idea in society that all women have a strong maternal instinct that immediately bonds them with a baby and that moms who don’t experience this are non- maternal, lacking in femininity or simply are bad mothers. “This is not true and a very harmful stereotype for motherhood. Mothers with postnatal depression struggle to feel attached or bonded with their babies and then experience the added societal burden of feeling guilty for having those feelings or thoughts. Several mothers may go on to resent their babies, feeling frustrated and blaming their baby for the emotional difficulty they experiencing. With the necessary professional help, these feelings can be overcome.”
Time span According to Coats, postnatal depression is generally limited to being diagnosed within the first year after childbirth. “It’s important to know that many mothers can also be diagnosed with antenatal depression which is depression prior to the birth of the child, often diagnosed in the third trimester. Equally important for mothers to understand is that postnatal depression can affect them with the birth of a second or third child, even if they didn’t experience any symptoms with earlier children.”
Statistics International statistics suggest that approximately 13% of moms will suffer from PND. Within middle- low income countries that statistic increases, according to Coats. “Research from the Perinatal Mental Health Project in the Western Cape suggests PND can reach levels of between 30 and 50% in specific populations within South Africa”1. The prevalence of PND is therefore quite high in a South African context. According to Health24.com, between 10% and 40% of women develop Postnatal Depression (PND). “If one takes the lowest figure of 10%, there are at least 50 000 new cases of PND per year in South Africa. A recent study in Khayelitsha showed that more than 30% of new mothers in that community are suffering from PND. This is according to the Post Natal Depression Support Association (PNDSA).” The American Psychological Association (APA) http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/depression/postpartum.aspx says an estimated 9-16% of postpartum women will experience PPD. Among women who have already experienced PPD following a previous pregnancy, some prevalence estimates increase to 41 percent, according to APA. “Contributing factors include social stressors such as unemployment, domestic violence, low social support systems, unplanned or unwanted pregnancy, and pregnancy during adolescence, single parenting, stressful lifestyles, as well as experiencing a traumatic birthing process, previous episodes of depression, or a history of anxiety disorders or substance abuse,” says Coats. “Interestingly, career driven women and those who hold high powered positions may struggle more with the adjustment of a baby, resulting in feelings of ‘being out of control’ which then resonate for the mother as a sense of failure. Furthermore, mothers who approach child birth with a sense of denial regarding the life style changes that are bound to occur, will also struggle more with the adjustment post- delivery. “However, it’s also important to note that PND is not limited only to mothers: very often it can affect fathers as well. The statistics in South Africa for paternal PND are not known, but international statistics suggest PND affects approximately 5% - 10% of fathers. The most significant determinant of paternal postnatal depression is having a depressed partner. Research suggests that fathers whose partners are depressed are 2.5 times more at risk for developing depression themselves,” says Coats. (Ref: NHCM Foundation Issue brief, June 2010)
Treatment Three treatment modalities are available, namely psychotherapy, medication and individual or group support, says Dr Feroza Arbee, a psychiatrist at Akeso Psychiatric Clinic (Parktown). “Depending on the severity of PND, treatment will most likely be a combination of pharmacotherapy and psychotherapy. Medication that has been medically approved for breastfeeding mothers, is normally rescribed by the attending psychiatrist. Moreover, an anti-depressant or anxiolytic takes a few weeks to have full effect, but a difference should be felt within a few days. “The doctor may also prescribe a short-term medication that would help with sleep and episodic anxiety. Generally, just the act of seeking help and having someone supportive to listen to you, makes most women feel better even after their first consultation,” Dr Arbee advises. Coats agrees, but cautions that a mother who considers hurting herself or her baby, should immediately contact an emergency help line immediately, such as Akeso’ s Psychiatric Intervention Unit with emergency response vehicles and phone counselling on 0861 435 787. She reiterates: “Suffering from PND does not mean you are a bad mother; it just means you need help from professional health practitioner, such as individual or group support, which are readily available.” *Nursing and Health Care Management (article courtesy of Akeso)
children of the universe
“Childhood – Innocence” Interpretation Children are born pure and innocent loving unconditionally and trusting all that they come into contact with. Innocence is a quality in itself and not simply the lack of guilt or shame. Unfortunately somewhere in your life you will lose that innocence and stop loving and trusting as you did before. This does not have to be a permanent loss and you should not live in constant fear in anticipation of this happening. The wisdom and knowledge that you have accrued during your life challenges and experiences is the key to recapturing this wonderful state. The challenges and issues that you have faced in your life have shaped your personality and character. There might have been times when you became cynical or filled with anger or fear. This would have blocked your life force and things would not have been able to flow properly. Release any shame or guilt that you might feel, forgiving yourself unconditionally and allowing yourself to be the amazing being that you actually are. This will allow you to heal and return to a state of innocence and purity. Remember that you are a child of God and therefore perfect in every way!
Angel light and blessings
Margi (Angel Connection) Angel Card Reading – Interpretation by Margi of Earth Magic Oracle Cards by Stephen D Farmer
It’s all about our precious children: Safety and Creativity
Second Hand Car Seats – You Should Be Afraid – Very Afraid Well over 5000 seats have been through the Car Seats for Kids Campaign over the past 3 years at Wheel Well and they have seen their fair share of car seat horrors. They know for sure that second hand car seats are scary! Car seats are first and foremost safety apparatus that must perform against the huge forces involved during a collision. It is therefore imperative that your car seat is fit and proper to do so. It can be the difference between life and death.
What is the big deal I hear you say? Here are the facts: 1. Car seats are dirty! Figure 1: Before and after cleaning of a typical seat we get Scientists at University of Birmingham took swabs from 20 cars and homes and found 100 dangerous types of bacteria per sq cm of car seat compared with 50 different bugs on the average household toilet. Bacteria found can lead to nasty illnesses including E. coli and Salmonella. Read the full article here. At the Wheel Well premises at Brightwater
Commons, they take every seat apart. The upholstery, harness and buckles are washed in a washing machine and the seat bodies are thoroughly cleaned under running water to make sure that all the gunk that have found its way into the seat mechanisms are cleaned out. An organic detergent that is antibacterial, non-allergenic and bio-degradable is used. This way they make sure that the seats are clean and that the future little user of the seat is safe from the dreaded lurgies.
2. Car seats are incorrectly assembled. Figure 2: Incorrectly assembled car seat. The harness was threaded through the lower guides of the seat and through the upper guides of the upholstery resulting in a bad fit and the upholstery tearing. In a crash the harness will put strain on the collar bone of the child and can break it. Many well-meaning parents wash their seats, or get their domestic helper to do it. The result is hilarious in some cases, but dangerous in all. Every part of a car seat is designed for a purpose and placed correctly for optimum safety. Just about every variation on the theme of putting seats together has been seen. In fact, in most cases where the children complain to be in the seat, Peggie have found that the seats were incorrectly assembled and they just had to fix that for the child to be happy again. In one case the harness straps were used to tie the child down in the seat.
3. Things found in car seats Figure 3: Pair of pliers found in seat. As the seats are taken apart, the most unexpected items are found. Besides the false fingernails, cookie crumbs, peanuts, raisons and an array of toys and hair goodies, some scary stuff like pliers, craft knife blades, pocket knives and an 8� carpentry nail have been found! A lot of coins have also seen daylight; there is money in cleaning seats. Jokes aside, these items are lodged inside the seats and not always apparent at a first glance. They do interfere with the proper workings of the seat. Armies of spiders, mouse droppings, and the all-time favourite: a Parktown prawn skeleton has been retrieved from seats.
4. Aftermarket alterations, repairs and handmade covers. Many parents add layers of foam to make seats “comfy�. This is very dangerous as it pushes your child out of the safety zone of the seat. Styrofoam inserts in seats act as shock absorbers and prevent serious injuries. They cannot be glued with the wrong glues as it dissolves at the Styrofoam rendering it useless. If these inserts are absent, the seat cannot function as it should. Then there are the handmade covers: Car seat covers are an integral part of the seat design and add to the safety of the seat. This is even more so in the more modern seats and handmade covers cannot replicate the safety features.
5. Car Seats and crashes Figure 4: Stress marks as the result of a crash or bad handling. The used seat could have been in a crash or badly handled, resulting in stress marks on the seat. These are weak points in the seat and could cause a car seat fail during a crash. These marks are not always visible and will be revealed once the seats are taken apart. Seats like these are sent for recycling. They must never be used again.
6. Last but not least – the car seat can simply be too old. Car seats have come a long way and some designs are outdated and no longer adhere to safety standards of today. Many car seats have foam layered in the upholstery. This foam perishes over time and then gives off a dust. This dust can cause lung diseases and the covers must be destroyed. At Wheel Well they know which seats can no longer serve as safe seats and will dispose of responsibly. As much as there is no hard evidence of car seats expiring – technology has moved on and has rendered some seat designs as obsolete. It is part of the Car Seats for Kids objective to remove these seats from circulation.
At Wheel Well through the Car Seats for Kids campaign, Peggie and her team have the experience and expertise to discern between safe and unsafe seats. All the seats that are put forward for parents that cannot afford these seats new have passed their high standards as they put safety a long way before profit. Of the well over 5500 seats donated, only 4317 have been found safe. As much as they will never prohibit parents from selling their used seats, Peggie urge parents to bring the used seats to them for a clean and check before being sold. Parents will get a better price and the next child in that seat will be safe. The service to parents include Car Seat 101 where they show parents how to use and install car seats as these used seats hardly ever come with a manual. This service is available to all parents that use car seats. Contact Peggie Mars for further information or queries. Founder of Wheel Well Mobile: 072 385 7121 Email: pegggie@wheelwell.co.za www.wheelwell.co.za
Cell phone safety tips for kids, tweens and teens Most parents aren’t discussing whether their kids will own a cell phone, but rather when their kids will own a cell phone. When plans change, practice ends early, or you’re running late, a cell phone is a parent’s best friend — but it will only keep your child safe if you set the right rules and talk about risks. Try these tips for mobile protection, and make sure you set a good example by following them yourself.
Start Simple. Show him how to use the phone, pointing out valuable features like the key lock, vibrate, and alarm. Programme the speed dial with your contact information and other emergency numbers. For extra security, consider buying one of several models designed just for kids. Some require parents to enter all phone numbers, so kids can only send and receive calls from approved individuals.
Limit Usage. Designate time slots for talking — perhaps after homework and chores are completed, or before dinner. Don’t let constant calls interrupt family time, such as meals or even the car ride to school. It’s easy for a chatty child to cuddle up to an itty-bitty phone as she heads to bed, so check in periodically.
Teach Responsibility. Make sure your child understands a cell phone is not a toy. Explain the fees associated with text messages, games, or sharing photos. It’s a good opportunity to learn a lesson about budgeting. If his phone has extra features, set limits.
Keep It Private. Instruct her to use caution when giving out her number. If she needs to exchange contact information with someone she doesn’t know very well, she should feel comfortable taking the other person’s number instead of providing her own. Make sure she does not publicize her number on the Internet.
Assess Before Answering. Teach him not to answer calls or text messages from numbers he doesn’t recognize. If it is important, the caller will leave a message and then he can decide how to respond. Explain how to block calls from unwanted numbers.
Exercise Etiquette. In addition to enforcing your own rules, make sure your child respects the rules of other establishments. Phones should be turned off or silenced at hospitals, movie theaters, and restaurants, for example. Restrict use during after-school activities or on the bus.
Stay Organized. Always keep your child’s cell phone charger in the same place. It’s best to find a central location — like a kitchen counter, or a table by the door — so she won’t forget to plug it in or grab it on the way out. Mark the end of the monthly billing cycle on a calendar to remind her how long those dwindling minutes have to last.
Protect Your Property. Invest in a carrying case or cover to protect the phone from spills, scratches, drops, or bottomless backpacks! Teach him to be discreet and keep the phone tucked away when not in use. It isn’t safe to flash phones, wallets, jewelry, mp3 players, or other valuable possessions in public places like shopping malls or bus stops.
Be Wary of Download Overload. Fun ringtones, games, and backgrounds can be amusing, but before revamping the phone, consider the facts. Such features are unnecessary and can come with potential bugs or hidden fees. Your child may also be more likely to show them off, risking theft or loss.
Bullying by phone. As young people’s social lives are so much about cell phones and the Internet, cyber-bullying and harassment have gone mobile too. Talk with your kids about how the same manners and ethics you’ve always taught them in life apply on phones and the Web too.
Mobile social networking. Many social sites have a feature that allows users to check their profiles and post comments from their phones. That means some teens can do social networking literally anywhere, in which case any filter you may have installed on a home computer does nothing to block social networking. Talk with your teens about where they’re accessing their profiles or blogs from and whether they’re using the same good sense about how they’re networking on their phones.
Social mapping. More and more cell phones have GPS technology installed, which means teens who have these phones can pinpoint their friends’ physical location – or be pinpointed by their friends. Talk with your kids about using such technology and advise them to use it only with friends they know in person.
Media-sharing by phone. Most mobile phones we use today have cameras, even videocams – and teens love to share media with friends on all types of mobile devices. There is both a personal-reputation and safety aspect to this. Talk with your teens about never letting other people photograph or film them in embarrassing or inappropriate situations (and vice versa). They need to understand their own and others’ privacy rights when it comes to sharing photos and videos via cell phones.
‘Smart phones.’
More and more people can access all that the Web offers, appropriate or not, on their phones as well as computers. Mobile carriers are beginning to offer filtering for the content available on their services, but they have no control over what’s out there on the Web. Parents of younger kids might want to consider turning off Web access and turning on filtering if they’re concerned about access to adult content.
With all of the things that can go wrong, you might ask yourself whether your child really needs a cell phone. When discussing mobile phones for under-10s, it’s a family decision. “What may be right for one family may not be right for another. And while ‘need’ is a strong word, there can be good reasons for giving a child under 10 a cell phone,” explains a SafetyWeb expert. “For example, if a child spends a lot of time in transit without parental guidance, e.g., on school buses, giving them a cell phone for emergency situations can put both parents and child more at ease.”
Make sure you have adequate insurance to cover your own and your child’s mobile phone in the event of loss, damage or theft. Talk to Indwe Risk Services about the right insurance cover for your needs. www.indwerisk.co.za
earth warriors reach out
Winter Blues may actually be depression For some people, winter marks the start of a relentless and recurrent cycle of depression that affects an individual’s ability to function emotionally, physically and socially. Known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), this condition is classified by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as a ‘specifier’ in a major depression. In other words, patients with SAD experience episodes of major depression that tend to recur at specific times of the year, and these episodes may take the form of major depressive or bipolar disorders.[1] In layman’s terms, SAD is a type of depression that occurs at the same time of the year – either in winter or summer, but most often winter and so severely that it inhibits normal function. Dr Theona Ballyram, a specialist psychiatrist who works at Akeso
SAD Facts and Figures: Seasonal affective disorder is estimated to affect some 10 million Americans. Another 10 percent to 20 percent may have mild SAD. SAD is more common in women than in men.
Clinic in Parktown says: SAD is so much more than just a feeling of seasonal sadness. It is a depression that presents with significant symptoms that are severe and persistent and recurrent, and prevent a person from performing basic functions during the season in which they are affected.” Symptoms of SAD include a feeling of depression, anxiety, hopelessness, lethargy, social withdrawal, changes in appetite and sleep patterns, as well as an inability to concentrate. Although SAD is more often associated with the onset of winter, there are those who are similarly affected in the summer months although Ballyram says the symptoms differ in how they manifest: “Those affected by Winter Seasonal Affective Disorder tend to experience an increase in lethargy and appetite and an inability to wake up, while those affected by Summer Seasonal Affective Disorder tend to experience an increase in anxiety and insomnia, coupled with a decrease in appetite.” Whichever way the condition presents, it can become crippling for sufferers - not least because of its tendency to remit and recur, a symptom that should make the condition easier to diagnose but can actually complicate diagnosis as patients feel that they are
Typical age of onset is 20. Some people experience symptoms severe enough to affect quality of life. 6% require hospitalisation. Many patients with SAD report at least one close relative with a psychiatric disorder, most frequently a severe depressive disorder (55 percent) or alcohol abuse (34 percent). SAD is more common the farther North you live.[2]
Diagnosing SAD: ‘better’ once the season comes to an end and thus often delay seeking help. According to Ballyram, the disorder is not completely understood and there are several theories as to its causes, one of which even relates back to our ancestors hibernating over the winter months. “What we do know is that there is a genetic component to the disorder, and it is definitely related to a disruption of the circadian rhythms and a dis-regulation of certain neural transmitters such as serotonin and hormones like melatonin,” she says. The human circadian rhythm can be roughly explained as our internal clock, which is controlled by a variety of genes, but can be modulated by external cues such as sunlight and temperature. Serotonin is a well-known mood stabiliser, while melatonin plays an important role in determining eating and sleeping patterns. For some people, a change in sunlight and temperature not only causes havoc with our internal body clock, but also results in a drop in serotonin levels, and a disruption of melatonin levels - all of which combine to create a severe depressive episode. Ballyram says those who have a first-degree relative who suffers from depression or bi-polar disorder are also more at risk of suffering from SAD. But the news is not all bad - once correctly diagnosed, SAD can be treated through a combination of therapies, including biological, psychological and psychosocial. “There are a range of anti-depressants and mood stabilisers that have proven to be quite successful in the treatment of SAD, especially with the adjunctive use of melatonin and even the likes of light therapy,” says Ballyram. She adds, however, that she believes it is imperative that anyone suffering from a mood disorder such as SAD should always take a multi-disciplinary approach to treatment, to ensure they are treating the condition holistically and not in isolation. But perhaps the best news for South Africans is that SAD is not that common an ailment on our sunny shores. “Yes, some people do suffer from SAD in South Africa, but it really is a condition that is more common in colder and darker climes,” says Ballyram. References: 1
American Academy of Family Physicians, Seasonal Affective Disorder. Available at: http://www.aafp.org/afp/2006/1101/p1521.html Last accessed 12/05/2014
2
Psychology Today, Diagnosis Dictionary: Seasonal Affective Disorder. Found at http://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder. Last accessed 12/05/2014
Mayo Clinic, Diseases and Conditions: Seasonal Affective Disorder: Tests and Diagnosis. Found at http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affectivedisorder/basics/tests-diagnosis/con-20021047. Last accessed 12/05/2014 3
Even with a thorough evaluation, it can sometimes be difficult for a doctor or mental health provider to diagnose SAD, because other types of depression or other mental health conditions can cause similar symptoms. To be diagnosed with SAD, you must meet criteria spelled out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), this manual is published by the American Psychiatric Association and is used by mental health professionals to diagnose mental conditions and by insurance companies to reimburse for treatment. The following criteria must be met for a diagnosis of seasonal affective disorder: • You have experienced depression and other symptoms for at least two consecutive years, during the same season every year. • The periods of depression have been followed by periods without depression. • There are no other explanations for the changes in your mood or behaviour.[3]
EMERGENCY LINES
Dr Reddy's Help Line 0800 21 22 23 Pharmadynamics Police &Trauma Line 0800 20 50 26 ADHD Helpline 0800 55 44 33 Department of Social Development Substance Abuse Line 24hr helpline 0800 12 13 14 SMS 32312 Suicide Crisis Line 0800 567 567 SMS 31393 SADAG Mental Health Line 011 234 4837 Akeso Psychiatric Response Unit 24 Hour 0861 435 787
By Penni du Plessis of Divine Space
My insights into creating harmony in the home came about many years ago as a result of my own harsh life experiences. I have used the principles successfully on myself, my family and many clients ever since. I got divorced many many years ago, when my children were 11 months and 2 years old. I will never forget how difficult those early years were. I had no support from my parents and felt like I was drowning. My daughters picked up my unhappiness and distress and acted out all the time, making things even worse and I truly could not cope. In desperation I went to a psychologist, and with her guidance learned to take back my power, set boundaries and slowly began the path to recovery. A few years later I discovered the amazing world of colour therapy and then my life truly began to change. I was running a decorating business anyway – so colour was very much a part of my life, and when I learned the psychology of colour, it was like I had come home. I studied with the Academy of Colour Therapeutics in the UK, and filled our home and lives with the jewel like bottles of colour. We bathed in them, rubbed them on our bodies, sprayed them around the home all the time, and I soon began to notice a difference in all of our behaviour. I religiously used a combination of blue and pink oils on us all. Blue brings the strength and supportive male energy into our lives; (especially as the husband/father was absent), while the pink calmed my irritability and aggression while inviting the loving and nurturing feminine support we all needed. A perfect balance which affects the moods while balancing the left and right side of the body. Prior to this, I had been called into the nursery school, as the teacher was at a loss on how to deal with my youngest daughter who cried all the time. She was always a shy, introverted child with intense emotional swings and was highly highly sensitive. After a few months of using this combination, she began to smile again, and people would remark at how she had come out of her
shell. She is now 30 years old, and is a wonderful, successful adult who runs her own business, and I just know that the life-long support she has had through colour therapy had a huge role in this. Another colour that is most important when going through these types of huge changes, is the colour green. The Green Oil of Transformation helps to heal the heart, and eases the pain of betrayal and helps you to let go of the past hurts. For the parent it assists you in making decisions, especially with regards to which direction or space could most support you; so if you are thinking of moving home, changing your career or inviting someone new into your life – using this colour will help you to follow your heart. Children who are going through changes – new school, new home or even new friends, will also find this colour really supportive. It heals their tender little hearts too and makes them feel more comfortable, safe and supported in the new energy or environment (remember, having 2 homes is also something they need help adjusting to). Please use it in combination with the pink and blue as mentioned above, and after a while you will become aware of behaviour changes, as they integrate and accept their new way forward. Be kind and patient with them, and know that if they are acting up, they are most often mirroring your own pain and unhappiness, and it is a cry for help.
SUPPORTIVE COLOURS WHEN GOING THROUGH SEPERATIONS OR DIVORCE:
Blue Oil of Transformation: Invites strength and supportive male energy. Instils clarity of thought and opens the throat for peaceful calm communications. This colour calms and eases the mind and erratic behaviour.
Pink Angel of Transformation Spray: Calms aggression and invites loving energy into the space. Spray around the body or room and everything becomes softer and more gentle. Use this colour to invite gentle compassionate feminine energy.
Green Oil of Transformation: To heal the heart and let go of past hurts and trauma. Supportive at times of change as it opens the door to new possibilities and acceptance of them.
Would you like to try this combination? They support anyone, of any age or disposition. All you would need is a willingness to allow new possibilities. I also run regular workshops. Please don’t hesitate to contact me for more information. penni@divinespace.co.za * Divine Space Colour Therapy and Consciousness Training Academy. For more information on colour therapy or the products suggested please check out our website: www.divinespace.co.za. Click on the appropriate coloured petal on the homepage, and you will find lots more information on each colour.
‘BE A FRIEND’ TO THE IBA-UMNGANI FOUNDATION Founded in 1999, Iba-Umngani Foundation (previously the BE A FRIEND FOUNDATION) supports children that are victims of rape, abuse, neglect and abandonment. They work in conjunction with the FCS (Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offences) units of the SA Police, by providing them with comfort and rape kits for victims of abuse. All the children that are helped by Iba-Umngani in this way are placed into ‘Safe Houses’ and their identities are protected. COMFORT KITS FOR ABUSED AND/OR ABANDONED CHILDREN A ‘comfort kit’ was designed for children who need to be removed from their homes/environment and placed in a safe house. These children need to be removed for several reasons, including danger to the child due to physical and/or sexual abuse by a household member. These kits are also for abandoned children. Often these children are removed with only the clothes they are wearing. Over and above the abuse they have experienced, being placed in a strange environment is also extremely traumatic for them. Although the children are innocent victims, they feel ‘punished’ by the system by being removed, which then causes secondary trauma. The kit includes a soft cuddly toy, face cloth, towel, soap, shampoo, body lotion, toothbrush, toothpaste, comb/hairbrush, sweets, biscuits, juice, etc. For babies; nappies, baby grow, bottles, milk formula and basic toiletries as well. The items are packed in a nice shoulder bag. Each kit costs approximately R500. The kit helps to restore some human dignity to these traumatized children by giving them something of their own to take with them. Giving them the basic necessities helps them feel more secure while they settle into their new home. These kits are given to the children at the time they are removed. This makes the placement of a child in a new environment less traumatic, which also helps to facilitate their recovery during therapy later on. A total of more than 7000 kits have been donated to date. SURVIVOR KITS FOR RAPE VICTIMS We have been requested by the FCS (Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offences Unit) of the SA Police Service, to put together a kit for women and young girls who have lived through the trauma of being raped. This kit will be used by the women after they have seen the district surgeon to wash and clean themselves. The Kit enables them to feel comforted and thought of after this terrible ordeal. The kits includes the following (packed in a bag); chocolates, juice, towel, face cloth, soap, shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste, comb/brush, sanitary pads, deodorant, panty, etc. A pamphlet with details of counseling, AVR’s etc. is included. The estimated cost per kit is R500. Iba-Umngani Foundation is a Non-Profit Organization and relies on donations and company sponsorships. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE BY CONTACTING THE FOUNDATION, DETAILS BELOW. Telephone: 011 021 7836 / 5/ 4/ 3 www.beafriend.co.za
animal world
Recently (June 2014), in a landmark study conducted by animal science researchers in California, now demonstrates that feeding dogs fresh, healthy, whole food diets instead of highly processed kibble and cans results in improvements in measures of health Feeding dogs fresh, healthy, whole food diets, instead of highly processed kibble and cans, results in improvements of health
By Paul Jacobson of Vondis The true judge as to whether a diet is “perfect� for both dog and human is based on whether they are able to provide the correct pH balances, with a leaning towards alkalinity. Thus, when one looks at popular human diets, this important formula is always fulfilled. The Banting Diet, promoted by our own legendary Professor Tim Noakes, fulfills these requirements. Often his proposed diet is misunderstood. He is actually advocating a high fat diet with low refined carbohydrates, rather than a high meat protein diet. Looking thoroughly into his diet and recipes, the contribution of his veggies (predominantly alkaline) supersedes and balances the acidity from the meat content. Remember, fat, mostly has a neutral impact on PH. Therefore, when preparing diets for our pets the same considerations should be applied as to the way we prepare human nutritional foods. A Banting Diet for Dogs would be an exceptional dietary plan suitable for the whole family.
Looking at commercial pet foods in pellet/kibble form, it is quite clear why such diets cannot perform. The main ingredients are refined carbs - brewers rice, wheat and corn gluten, potato meal, soya meal and animal meals. As a matter of fact, such refined carbs are rated as “extremely acidic” and their contribution way overrides any alkaline ingredients that may come from this diet. The same arguments follow for diets that contain copious amounts of meat (raw or cooked). In the last few years, there has been a trend to feed our companion animals a high raw meat diet. Meat too is classified as an “extremely” acidic. Acidosis will lead to inflamed cells, reduce immunity and lead to an array of health ailments like skin disorders, arthritis and the formation of kidney stones. The recent landmark veterinary studies from West Hollywood California support what human nutritionists have been advising for decades – “stay clear of heavily processed foods, and eat wholesome, balanced meals that are prepared fresh from the highest quality ingredients available, are lightly cooked, and have no preservatives. This same advice appears to be true for our canine best friends.”
Based on these findings, let’s see how Professor Tim Noakes’s Banting Diet would fulfill the nutritional requirements of our dogs by looking at some of his golden rules: 1. This is not a high protein diet. It's a high fat, medium protein, low carb way of eating 2. Choose real foods that look like what they are, and cook them from scratch 3. Fat is not the enemy. Enjoy it! – Fat is essential for our dogs 4. Eat only when you are hungry; eat until you are satisfied we control the feeding of once or twice a day Therefore, whether you are preparing a meal for yourself and children or your four-legged companion members, The Banting Diet, is recommended for the entire family.
Animals, Angels and Souls Just as God created human beings and gave us a soul that never dies, so he or she created all the beautiful animals, birds and insects that we find on planet Earth. God loved humans so much that these amazing creatures were given to us to look after and nurture. They also provide us with the most amazing connections and companionship. They too were given souls that like ours never die! You have your own special Guardian Angel that is given to you at your first incarnation on earth and this same long suffering, patient Angel, will stay with you through all your earthly incarnations until you go into Ascension and return to Heaven where you belong. Because animals have souls they too have their own special Angel to look after and guide them. Humans deal with the wheel of Karma as we return life time after life time to complete and finish our life lessons before we can go into Ascension when the lessons are eventually finished. Animals on the other hand do not have Karma. They reincarnate merely to facilitate lessons for humans and often to assist, support and guide you when you are in a stressful situation and need help. Our family has had many beloved pets over the years; all of them special and all of them so loved! One of our Rotti’s, Emma, was perhaps a little more special than the others. She was around when my late husband was extremely ill with cancer and she spent hours just lying next to him when he was not feeling well always giving him unconditional love and comfort.
At that stage she was already eleven years old which is quite old for a big dog. He then went into remission and had completed his treatment that he was receiving and she then crossed over. I was told in meditation that she had stayed with us to help us get through the difficult treatments but now that the treatments were finished and the healing had begun it was time for her to move on. She was then reincarnated as another one of our Rotti’s who we called Rah and when my husband once again became ill he lay at his side night and day and lay beside him as he crossed over as did the other dog and the cats. We also need to grieve loss in our lives. We need to allow ourselves the time to reflect on the person or animal that we have lost and allow ourselves to cry, talk about them, and feel angry, sad or whatever other emotion comes up and needs to be worked through. Archangel Azrael, who is the Angel of Death, is very comforting and loving. Whether you are a human or an animal that is crossing he will be there to assist you with this process. He is the most compassionate and gentle angel, who helps those that are crossing over to cross, and then works with those that are left behind and are grieving. My animals have been such a comfort to me and I am always so appreciative that I have them in life! Domestic animals are such amazing beings. When we interact with our pets we get a double dose of Angels because not only do we have our own Guardian Angels with us but also their Guardian Angels! They teach us so many things about unconditional love and tolerance which the Animal Angels bring into our lives for us to experience as well. Animals love us no matter what! Every time you come home, you are greeted with enthusiasm and love, even if you are in a bad mood and not very nice to know. Those that are abused and badly treated will still be loyal to their owners which we often find very hard to understand. They sense when we need extra attention, when we are down in the dumps or really hurting inside. They give without asking for anything in return and trust without reservation. Animals only live in the present. They savor and accept each moment as it comes. They live with enthusiasm and thoroughly enjoy everything whether it be eating their food, lying in the sun sleeping or having a wonderful walk on the beach. Their tails tell you exactly how they are feeling as they do not feel the need to hide their feelings from anyone.
This world would be a much better place if we could all do the same! Unfortunately the abuse of the animals on planet earth is horrific! Many humans ignore the fact that animals are sentient beings. They often don’t even know the meaning of the word “sentient”. It is a term within Buddhism denoting beings with a consciousness; those that can suffer and feel pain which includes humans and animals! The pain and suffering that is inflicted on God’s creatures is sometimes beyond comprehension and often sickening and disturbing. The great man Mahatma Gandhi said — 'The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.' This does not bode well for the humans who live on Planet Earth. There are those who have no respect for anything or anyone. They treat animals as if they are of no consequence and are merely there to serve as their playthings. There is always power or greed involved and sometimes both. Many farm animals are kept in the most horrific conditions so that the farmers involved make as much money out of them as possible. If you eat meat or chicken, have you ever questioned where it comes from and how it gets to that sterile, neatly packaged item that you buy at the supermarket? Become a responsible, ethical consumer and start questioning what is happening. The industry does not want you to know what happens behind the scenes! The killing and torturing of our wildlife is also a huge problem and unfortunately there are huge profits that are made here so it continues unabated. How can man not understand that once something has become extinct it is gone forever? It is more important now than ever before to teach our children and our grandchildren to have respect for planet Earth and all who live on it including the animals, birds and insects. Every living thing has a right to life just as you have. It is time now to stop abuse in any form whatsoever and to become an ethical society where we stand up for what is right and compassion and love becomes the norm!
Angel light and blessings Margi (Angel Connection) Margi McAlpine, 082-563-7422, margi@angelconnection.co.za
reading
Follow Me! (I’m Lost) 12 Unconventional Lessons in Leadership from Gulliver’s Travel’s
A Parable by Wayne Visser Unconventional Leadership Lesson 4:
To have a following, you must walk away After thanking Roody for his flashes of insight (the pun seemed to go straight over Roody’s head, or rather, over Roody’s teeth, undetected), Gulliver drifted back into a restful, noiseless, dreamless sleep. Then, shortly after sunrise, before it got too hot, he said his goodbyes to Roody and flew off in a south-westerly direction ... more-orless. Somehow, precise vectors didn’t seem so important anymore. Glancing back, he was sure he could still see Roody’s brilliant white teeth flashing in the sun. Gulliver smiled. Such an unexpected meeting – and now he had a nearly blind mole-rat to add to his growing menagerie of strange new friends. As he flew, Gulliver thought about Roody’s lesson in leadership. He wondered what his vision was. If the flock were here now, what would he say to inspire them, to convince them that new worlds – better worlds – were waiting to be discovered, if only they would take a chance, if only they would be more courageous? In his head, he could already hear their sniggers and snorts. And he didn’t blame them. His vision was still too vague, too much like ‘wishupon-a-star’ and not enough like ‘follow-that-star!’ He had been flying for hours, lost in a reverie of reflection, but alas, no blinding vision struck him. Then he remembered more precisely what Roody had said: ‘To have a vision, you must close your eyes.’ Close your eyes. Of course! Gulliver slapped his forehead with his wingtip. ‘Duh!’ he thought. ‘I’m such a silly goose,’ stalling in mid-air, as if to prove the point. In an undignified blur of feathers and feet, beak and bottom, he eventually regained a level pitch and flew on, hoping no-one had been watching. (Little did he know). Gulliver decided to try it. He closed his eyes, and the world went black. Actually, no. He had expected it to go black, but it went more orange, with dancing specks of white. ‘How strange!’ he thought. He decided to experiment a little, and noticed that when he turned his head towards the sun, his inner radar screen went from orange to yellow to almost completely white. And when he turned his head the opposite way, facing almost backwards, it went ... ‘Honk! Honk! HONK!’ Gulliver opened his eyes just in time to swerve and avoid a mid-air collision. ‘Watch where you’re going, you rudderless rat!’ Gulliver glanced back irately to identify the rude source of this belittling barrage of air-rage. When he did, even more than the shock of his near-crash, or the echo of that stinging insult (which was the worst kind of insult ... ‘no offense intended to Roody and his family’, he quickly thought) – far more surprising was the fact that he was seeing another goose. And not just one goose, but a whole flock. In point of fact, not just a whole flock, but a massive flock – quite possibly as many as fifty glorious geese, all gleaming in the bright noon-day sun.
Gulliver hadn’t spotted a single, solitary goose (not even on the horizon) for days and days, let alone a flock in perfect military formation. ‘Not since he left home, bound for leadership school in London,’ he reflected wistfully. And so it was hardly surprising that his spontaneous burst of joy at seeing a bunch of fellow feathered friends completely extinguished the anger that might have erupted under different circumstances (Gulliver was known to be a feisty flyer in the flock, and was always getting into noisy squabbles with what he thought of as ‘less accomplished aeronauts’). Gulliver’s disaster avoidance manoeuvre – ‘which was rather skilfully and deftly executed’, he thought with a pinprick of pride in his chest – had taken him up above the flock. Now he looked down and admired their perfect V-formation. And suddenly, he felt terribly homesick. Fortunately (or unfortunately), at that very moment, he heard something – a whisper from below, floating up on the breeze: ‘Did you see that? He was flying forwards while looking backwards!’ It was one of the birds near the back of the V. ‘Not only that. I swear his eyes were closed. Completely shut! I saw it myself,’ said the goose positioned one ahead. ‘And did you notice,’ said a third goose, bringing up the rear, ‘he was different. He was not like us at all!’ As Gulliver listened to the gossiping geese below, he felt his newfound joy deflating like a balloon. Sadly, it seemed, his new flock of friends were not so friendly after all. ‘How dare they call me a rudderless rat!’ The fresh memory flared back into consciousness, reigniting his anger. ‘I would rather be a rat, like my wrinkled friend Roody, than a member of this flock of fff...’ A mental image of his mother’s stern frown caught him just in time. ‘And anyway,’ he continued muttering to himself. ‘What did they mean, he was different? Different how?’ The flock had begun to descend, so Gulliver dropped with them, keeping a tidy distance, and began studying them more carefully. It was true. They looked different to him. While he had a handsome black breast, neck, beak and feet, with a pure white face and variegated underbelly and wings, their beak and feet were red, their face was beige with weird brown blotches around their yellow eyes, and they had a brown back, white shoulders and black wings. ‘How strange,’ he thought. ‘How interesting.’ Gulliver watched, fascinated, as they glided in to land on an enormous lake, called Turkana. He decided to keep a cautious distance from the flock, and landed on the shore nearby. Of course, his father had told him stories about their cousins from distant lands, even claiming to have met some who had strayed far from their homes. ‘Most were lost,’ his father had said. ‘But some were rebels, loners, adventure-seekers.’ Gulliver remembered the tone of disapproval in his father’s voice. How strange that all these years later, he – Gulliver, son of his father, Gilgamesh – was now the unwitting lone explorer. All the while, Gulliver was pacing up and down the shoreline, lost in misty memories, trying hard to dredge up what his father had taught him. The names of these distant relations, which had always sounded so exotic and, frankly, made-up, began to seep into Gulliver’s consciousness: the Beans and Brents, the Canadians and Egyptians, the Greylags, the Pink-footed and the White-fronted. Maybe his father’s stories were not fiction after all.
Just as Gulliver was wondering which group the nearby noisy, brash flock fell into, there was a sudden, splashing commotion on the lake. The flock rose up in unified panic, flying away and settling back down further from the shore. ‘I’m not that ugly!’ honked Gulliver, at once both irritated and slightly depressed. ‘You certainly are not,’ purred a strange, silky voice behind him. Gulliver leapt two feet straight up into the air, landed back down awkwardly on one foot and toppled over. Scrambling back to his feet, he turned to face the stranger ... and nearly fertilised the shore. Standing before him was something so frightening, so fierce-looking, so ... furry, that Gulliver thought he would malt on the spot. Then again, maybe he had overreacted. It was not really such a ferocious face after all. It was not even a famished face (which relieved Gulliver even more). It was a kindly, almost cuddly, face, smiling out at him from the centre of a fabulous, flaming yellow-and-black ball of fluff. ‘On the contrary,’ rumbled the giant fluff-thing. ‘You look rather dapper in your monochromatic plumage.’ It would be a lie to say that Gulliver wasn’t nervous. He was transfixed by the creature’s mouth. More particularly, by the size and number of razor-sharp spikes that beamed back at him, leaving him feeling strangely paralysed. What’s more, there was something disturbingly familiar about those rows of flesh-ripping, bone-crunching teeth. Hadn’t he seen them somewhere before? No, of course not; how could he have? Just then, a little flashbulb went off in Gulliver’s brain. A fox. A FOX! And not just any fox: a monster fox on steroids! Every life-preserving instinct Gulliver possessed kicked in, willing him to flee – to fly away as fast and as far as possible. He could even feel the adrenaline shooting through his wings as he launched into the great escape. So great, in fact, that he would spend countless moonlit evenings telling his grand-geese about it in years to come. Except that he didn’t – escape, that is. In his mind, he had taken off in a flurry of brave flight and swooped over the insolent flock in a show of swift agility that would leave them in no doubt just who was the fastest, finest flyer and who was not. ‘What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?’ purred the Giant Fox. Gulliver jerked out of his fantasy and back into his perilous predicament. Then he decided that certain death was no reason to be rude. So he stammered, ‘Errr ... thank you. I mean ... errr ... good afternoon. You are rather a fabulous spectacle yourself, Mister Fox.’ The golden creature erupted in a roar of laughter that shook the very shore and – Gulliver noted somewhere at the fringes of his awareness – panicked the flock into a flap once more. ‘I am many things,’ the furry animal spluttered, still chuckling. ‘But a fox is not one of them. Allow me to introduce myself, young gander. My name is Lionel and I am – yes, you guessed it, a round of applause please, thank you, thank you, thank you – a lion!’ Gulliver felt his racing heart begin to slow. ‘Lionel may be massive,’ he thought. ‘And he may be sabre-toothed ... but I like him. He has a certain style, he has a cheery charm, and he is fiendishly funny.’ Gulliver swallowed hard and inclined his head theatrically: ‘I am Gulliver and I am – yes, you guessed it, a chorus of honks please, thank you, thank you, thank you – a goose!’
Lionel erupted into another roar of uncontrollable laughter, his shaggy mane seeming to dance like the sparkling rays of the very sun itself. ‘So tell me, Gulliver, what’s all this about being ugly then?’ ‘Oh that,’ replied Gulliver, suddenly feeling embarrassed and sullen. ‘It’s nothing. Well, not nothing. It’s that flock over there. They were rude to me. They were gossiping about me. They said I’m different. And ... and all I wanted was to be their friend.’ He stared at the sand below his webbed feet. ‘It’s just that I got lost and I haven’t seen another goose for ages and ...’ Gulliver’s eyes began tear up. Lionel nodded, but said nothing, his gold-flecked eyes full of compassion. Gulliver sniffed and continued, ‘ ... and I’m supposed to become a flock leader. How can I become a flock leader, when I can’t even make new friends? When they reject me even before I have a chance? When all they do is laugh at me and chirp behind my back?’ Lionel nodded briskly, as if he suddenly understood exactly what the problem was. Then he rose up to his full regal height, looked Gulliver straight in the eye, and said in a voice full of authority and wisdom: ‘Firstly, young Gulliver, don’t let anyone tell you whether or not you are a leader; only you can tell yourself that. Secondly, different is good; in fact, if you’re going to be a leader, being different is essential. Thirdly, who says you can’t make new friends? What am I then – the cat’s whiskers?’ Gulliver smiled. It was all true. He thought about Cuthbert and Daphne and Dodger and Roody – all new friends he had made. And they hadn’t rejected him because he was different. In fact, they had loved him for it. Gulliver looked up at Lionel, who was still smiling sternly, and answered, ‘You are my friend, of course. And I am grateful that you are. In fact,’ he added, getting some of his zest back, ‘I would far rather be your friend than that stupid flock’s friend ... or your lunch.’ Lionel roared with laughter again, and Gulliver joined in, honking loudly. Then Lionel stopped rather abruptly, as if remembering something that he had forgotten to say. ‘Do you know what happens when a young, male lion cub grows up? Do you know what he has to do before he can lead his own pride?’ Gulliver shook his head. ‘He has to leave the pack he grew up with. He has to turn his back and walk away. He must go into the wilderness on his own.’ Lionel had a distant look in his eyes, as if recalling his own isolation. ‘Only after he has learned to survive by himself can he become a leader of others. Only when he has mastered his own nature can he become a master of others. Do you understand?’ Gulliver nodded tentatively. It was yet another unexpected lesson in leadership from an unexpected new friend on his unexpected journey. But Lionel had noticed Gulliver’s hesitation and was not satisfied. He thought deeply for a moment, wanting to make his point crystal clear. ‘The thing is, young prince,’ he eventually said, slowly and deliberately, pausing on each word for emphasis: ‘To have a following, you must walk away.’
Next Issue Unconventional Leadership Lesson 5:
To give direction, you must stand in one place
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