Child of the Universe Montessori Mag

*FREE DIGITAL MAG *AUGUST 2020

Montessori Play Time

More antics from The Honest Toddler

Natural play material choices

Cooking with Kids

What is The Montessori Communication Way

The Child’s Global Vision

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Why we choose Natural Materials over Plastic

I was at a baby shower recently with my mom when another woman showed up with her grandkids and a small plastic children's computer game. We began talking and she asked if we had a similar toy. Before I could answer, my mom replied "No! She's a weirdo that won't let her kids have plastic!"

Now, I don't mean to throw my mother under the bus for an off hand comment, but I think this is a common misconception for people looking at the Montessori community. So, let me explain why we choose natural materials over plastic and when we don't.

First, I want to say, my children have plenty of plastic toys and materials. There are times, even, when I prefer plastic. One example, is animal figurines. I strive to give my children realistic representations and plastic is simply the best way to do this. Magnatiles and Legos also make my plastic list!

But, in many situations, I do strive to provide natural materials -- like wood, metal, fabric or glass - when I can.

What's the deal with no plastic?

I have a few reasons that I prefer natural materials over man-made ones. First, there is the environmental factor. There's BPA concerns and chemical concerns and its effect on our health and the environment. While, this is a concern, it's not a huge worry for me but I am aware of this issue. Maybe it should be something I worry more about, but it's not something I've done a lot of research into.

More important to me are the strictly Montessori concerns. First, I as a Montessori parent, I want to create an environment that is as beautiful as possible. I want to create spaces that show my children that they are valued. Montessori believes that children not only deserve beautiful spaces, they excel in them. Natural products are an important part in making our space beautiful.

Their understated nature and beauty provide something to an environment that cheaper plastic alternatives don't. Some plastic toys can provide the same effect, but they are harder to find.

Natural materials teach natural consequences. If you drop a plastic cup, you drop a plastic cup.

There's no need to be careful. No need to learn to respect the material. However, if you drop a glass cup, you get a very different story. Watching a glass break, or a toy even, teaches a child to be more exact and careful. But, it also teaches children to respect their materials and environment. To take ownership over it and to care for it.

Natural materials connect a person to nature. My children live in the city. Our natural interactions are more limited than others. By touching a wooden toy, they get to feel the warmth of the wood. They feel the grain, they feel the weight. It's just a connection that cold, hard plastic cannot provide.

Also, when I hand a child a beautiful natural material, I hand my child my respect and trust. I am showing them they are important enough to give them something real.

I'm not giving them some baby-proofed version of a real tool. I'm teaching them to use a real one. I'm trusting in their abilities, I'm respecting their whole self as a very capable person.

I'm also giving them the opportunity to make a mistake. To learn from that mistake. When a plate shatters, there is a lot to be learned. When a toy breaks, there is a lot to be learned. I'm giving them the space and the trust to handle disappointment, mistake and error.

So, that's why we limit plastic in our home. If that makes me weird, I'm cool with that!

What is your plastic policy? Have you seen any difference with your child's interest in non-plastic verses plastic materials?

Montessori and Fantasy-play Misconception: Montessori schools do not allow for fantasy and inhibit children from using their imagination We especially need imagination in science. It is not all mathematics, nor all logic, but it is somewhat beauty and poetry. Dr. Maria Montessori The concepts of creativity, fantasy and imagination are some of the most hotly debated topics in Montessori education. One needs to keep in mind though that they were not Dr. Montessori’s actually words. She used early Italian words which were then translated into these words for the English speaking public in the early 1900’s. Since that time, their meanings have changed.

Today the meaning of creativity, fantasy and imagination almost synonymous, but in Dr. Montessori’s time they had different meanings.

fantasy - the departure of truth from reality. Another more up to date term that I have heard from my Italian speaking family members is “day dreaming”. imagination- the use of ones intellect and ability to design something new and different. creativity- the act of Imagination When Dr. Montessori opened her first school for 3-6-year-olds she filled it with dolls and other traditional make-believe toys, but she soon found that when children were given the opportunity to do real work such as cooking, cleaning, caring for themselves, each other, and the environment, they completely lost interest in make-believe and preferred real work.

As time continued Dr. Montessori also noticed that young children had a hard time distinguishing between real and imaginary. They were constantly asking. “Is this real?” This observation still rings true today, as Barbara Curtis author of the Montessori BLOG Mommy Life says, “How is a three or four year old American child reading picture books to understand that though he's never seen one, a camel is real while a fairy is not? Or that places like the Grand Canyon or the Sahara Desert or Niagara Falls or the Great Wall of China are real while Disneyland is not”

Additionally, part of Friedrich Froebel's kindergarten curriculum was teacher guided imaginary play. Although Montessori agreed with Froebel an many aspects of education, here was one place their beliefs diverged. Montessori felt that instead of pretending to be a farmer, children understand farming better by actually tending a garden, instead of pretending to be cooking dinner, children learn more by actually cooking. So at times some of Dr. Montessori's comments on fantasy were actually a direct commentary on Froebel's guided imaginary play.

It was through these observations that Dr. Montessori spoke out against fantasy- the adult lead departure of truth from reality and why she felt that “real activities� as opposed to make believe ones were more important to the young child trying to make sense of the world around them. It was her belief that the world is such an amazing and wonder-filled place, that we should focus on giving as much of it as we can to the young child to help them discover everything possible about our natural world.

In addition, she believed that dance, art and music activities, usually considered "creative activities" were integral parts of the Montessori classroom.

"Human consciousness comes into the world as a flaming ball of imagination. Everything invented by human beings, physical or mental, is the fruit of someone's imagination. In the study of history and geography we are helpless without imagination, and when we propose to introduce the universe to the child, what but the imagination can be of use to us? I consider it a crime to present such subjects as may be noble and creative aids to the imaginative faculty in such a manner as to deny its use, and on the other hand to require children to memorize that which they have not been able to visualize..... The secret of good teaching is to regard the children's intelligence as a fertile field in which seeds may be sown, to grow under the heat of flaming imagination. Our aim therefore is not merely to make the children understand, and still less to force them to memorize, but so to touch their imagination as to enthuse them to their inmost core. We do not want complacent pupils but eager ones; we seek to sow life in children rather than theories, to help them in their growth, mental and emotional as well as physical."

Dr. Maria Montessori Source: http://www.montessorianswers.com/myth-fantasy.html

Communication The Montessori Way Struggling with how to talk to kids is a right of passage for parents and caretakers.

By Marnie Craycroft Learning how to improve communication with kids is not simply about getting them to act in a certain way, it is about guiding them to be better communicators, how to live peacefully, how to be kind, and to how to effectively resolve conflict. This means knowing when to intervene, and knowing how to communicate during conflict.

Related Post: What Questions to Ask Before You Intervene Once you’re done reading this article, you will feel more confident & more prepared to communicate with your child and to help guide your child to be a rock solid communicator.

Don’t panic. You are not alone.

This stuff is hard.

Toddler and preschooler communication is challenging for any adult. So, I thought I would share tips on improving communication with young children that I’ve gathered over the years as a parent ad educator.

Did you know that toddlers and preschoolers can solve their own problems? Yes, it is true!

“It is the child who makes the man, and no man exists who was not made by the child he once was.” ~ Dr. Maria Montessori

With the help and guidance of us grown-ups, who often are too quick to offer solutions without giving children the opportunity to come up with a solution on their own, children just might be able to do it.

They just might surprise us.

The best part is that they can develop important life skills of problem solving and decision making. Not to mention, they will feel capable and independent. Check out my book lists for children for ideas on how to help children develop key social and emotional skills.

During my training, I attended a wonderful Montessori presentation by a Virginia Varga. She pioneered the development of a Montessori Infant & Toddler curriculum in the 60s. Her experience with children, particularly toddlers, is extensive, to say the least. She passed some of her knowledge onto those of us lucky enough to be in her audience.

In short, she was pretty awesome.

I was fascinated with her.

She emphasized that toddlers are in their prime developing a sense of identity and that, by 2 years old, the basic structure of personality is already formed in these little spirits. That is not to say that personality can’t change to some extent but the basic foundation already exists in form. Even at birth, temperament is deeply embedded in who we all are. I loved it when Virginia said, emphasizing Maria Montessori herself, “already at 3, the child is a little man”. I could not help but giggle a bit thinking of my own children and all their “personality”.

One theme in her Montessori presentation was how parents and educators are too quick to problem solve for children, that we are given many opportunities to guide them to make decisions on their own but we choose to offer solutions instead of asking questions.

Conflict resolution is a life skill. Helping children understand and process their emotions, and then manage them is a life skill. I am guilty. I am betting I am not alone in this boat.

I got so much out of her talk that I had to share some of the specific communication tactics with you.

10 Ways to Absolutely Improve Toddler Communication Acknowledge and identify feelings: “I notice that you are mad. Is that because Ben took the truck away from you?”

• Let’s the child know that his feelings have been heard by us. Recognizing and responding to needs and wants expressed through feelings changes a child’s behavior.

Interpret the experience: “It looks like you both want the truck” • Let’s the child know that someone understands him, instead of saying “Your brother wants the truck”, offer an interpretation.

Report the observation: “You would like the truck but Ben took it from you” • Let’s the child process the situation Repeat the “complaint” – “You said the bike is not working” • Along the same lines as the above two, repeating the complaint not only makes the child feel heard, it also gives adult time to think about next steps.

Ask questions – “How is it broken?” “Why won’t it go?” What would like to happen now?”

• Asking a question stimulates thinking and reduces stress to the brain allowing for (better) problem solving and decision making. Don’t immediately suggest an option to solve the problem. Allow the child(ren) time to think about how to solve the problem offer solutions and feel capable.

Wait for the Answer – Don’t ask a question and then let the child run away or you or the child get distracted by something. Ask the question and wait for and expect an answer. If the child runs away, bring him back into the situation by saying, “I asked XYZ, what is your answer?”

End a Question with a Question – If you ask the child “Would you like to share the truck with Ben?” and he says, “No”, continue by asking, “How do you think that makes Ben feel?” or “When can Ben play with the truck?”

Model Thinking – We all sometimes talk to ourselves out loud. Modeling thinking is similar. Say something like, “I think Ben & Ethan will probably find a way to solve the problem.”

Respect children’s wants and needs– Never force a child to share his things. If he is playing with a truck and his brother takes that truck away, instead of requesting that he share the truck, ask him and if he says, “no”, ask him when he might be ready to share his truck. Children can be very generous when given the opportunity to do so.

Facilitate peaceful decision-making – Keep the problem within the children. Guide them to solve the problem together. Don’t solve it for them.

You can not start too young with this approach. The approach takes practice and repetition. Even the youngest child who may not have the words to respond can take words into his world. He understands.

In my Montessori at Home Guide for Parents, I offer loads more helpful tips to add to your toolbox, ready for use!

I will end with a quote from the presentation:

“By following and gently leading the child ‘across the bridge’ you can celebrate the joy of the child’s psychological birth. The child is a person “I am” and “I can”.

There is so much more to write on this topic so indeed expect more to come…we can help our children be peaceful and bring peace to their minds and hearts.

I hope we inspired you today!

Marnie

Dear Child I Hit At The Park, Even now from the dark void of time out, where I was firmly plopped upon the bottom step of my family's staircase to "think about what I did," I can't say with any sincerity that I'm sorry.

I know you'll agree with me when I say that life as a toddler in a world clearly built for people four to five times our size can feel like a series of never-ending, sized induced frustrations. Desks that are too high. Ledges, just out of reach. Chairs that when you attempt to push them toward a counter snag on a rug leaving you condemned to amusement purgatory, inches that may as well be miles away from the treasure trove that is the junk drawer. Structural prejudices are everywhere.

I don't know about you but as I've grown, UP has become less and less frequent. They insist that I walk. Forget sunsets, my horizon is a forest of thighs and kneecaps.

Although we are now sworn enemies for all eternity, we have much in common. You know the struggle that is being constantly dependent while a rising star of free will shines bright inside you, directing you to press forward despite the rein and bridle of toddlerhood.

I have two sanctuaries: vivid dreams in which I take flight and experience life not at adult level but above it, looking down, untethered by arbitrary commands ("Walk!" "Stop!" "Go!" "Wait!"), and the park.

The glorious park. In this existence designed for giants the park is my retreat. Natural habitat.

Everything is built to scale: each corner a unique trove of childhood delight unto itself. Swings.

Sandbox. Jungle gym.

Although the backdrop ebbs and flows with the seasons- frosty winters coat the steel bars with snow which melt into hopeful, rainy springs that usher in blistering summers only to temper into a pale autumn- the structure remain the same.

The park is a world within a world. A sacred place consecrated for the young in body but mighty in spirit. It is our holy land.

Months ago, I was going through a particularly difficult time. My central incisors rode in on painful stallions and I could not escape the parade. Mother, being perpetually awake anyway, would sit up with me throughout the night and sing the same campfire song over and over until I was lulled to sleep.

I know a place Where no one ever goes There's peace and quiet Beauty and repose It's hidden in a valley Beside a mountain stream And lying there beside it I find that I can dream I tell you all of this so that you understand that what happened today was not personal. Crimes of passion are complicated. All of us got hurt in one way or another. I did not seek to harm you, but restore order. You trampled on principle and felt the weight of your choice.

This afternoon as I ran toward the park gate, in the direction of the buzzing laughter of my peers I was drunk with the knowledge of unlimited potential for FUN TIMES. My heart felt about ready to burst with joy. In my exuberance, I tripped. My forward trajectory resulted in gravely scratched palms. My right hand even had red prick. Blood? I could have cried and would have been justified to ask for a Band Aid, but no, not a solitary tear sprang from my eye as I brushed off the embedded gravel. Nothing and no one could ruin this day. No one except you.

Giving up the swing for another child was easy today. Sand time. As we walked over to the sand box I imagined a detailed blueprint for the cityscape I would call forth with my plastic dollar store tools.

And then I saw you. Blue and white pinstripe overalls. Like a convict. Your ensemble was fittingly poetic. Foreshadowing, brought to you by Carters. You sat, legs splayed in the sandbox holding my shovel.

Holding my shovel.

He's holding my shovel.

While my visual cortex easily processed the scene, my frontal lobe rejected it like a burnt piece of toast "No. Try again." And so it did, rearranging the information like a young child wrestling with a shape sorter presses a square block against a circular opening.

He's holding my shovel.

My shovel he's holding.

He's holding my shovel.

That is my shovel. He's holding it.

Our eyes met as you picked up my telepathic communication. You answered silently.

My mom said I could.

Your face was blank. Emotionless.

That's my shovel, I messaged back.

My mom said I could.

I broke into an immediate sprint in your direction. Maybe I let out a battle cry or said something aloud, I can't remember, but my mother was alerted and before I could reach you, my feet began to lift like an aircraft slowly taking flight.

"Stop," she said.

I couldn't hear them speaking, my mom to your mom. My eyes remained fixed on you digging into the pliable sand. It was dry enough to sit on without leaving a dark spot on the the seat of one's pants but slightly damp from the morning's rain and held form easily, just how I like it.

She chuckled at something your mother said. I looked up, still being held like a newspaper under her arm.

"We're still learning about sharing."

Sharing? Surely she's joking.

It's utterly confounding how possessive adults are about their own belongings whether it be a remote control or wallet, but preach about communal property without even a twinge of guilt over their blatant hypocrisy.

Sharing? This coming from a woman whose road antics only minutes prior would imply that the right lane is emblazoned with her initials.

My feet touched ground and she crouched close to my face. The second I heard her tone I tuned out. It was the pitch I hated most: calm but decidedly loud, reminiscent of a librarian at story time. She was speaking to all of the parent's within earshot, not me. A self-serving speech plucked from the pages of parenting websites and peppered with hallow assurances.

"Ok? We're going to let our friend...." Friend? I don't see any friends anywhere, "We're going to let our friend play with the shovel for a few minutes and then we'll trade. Everybody will have fun together."

She smiled and waited. For what? Applause? A tip?

I stared into her eyes and could see that she was lost in her own folly so I said nothing.

Knowing all eyes were on me, I forced myself to walk calmly over to you, a degenerate of a child, and sat a toddler's length away. If parallel play is what they want, parallel play is what I shall give them.

I fixed my gaze on you and you shifted, uncomfortable with my laser beam focus.

Play. Go on, play. I messaged you over and over.

Play.

Play.

Play.

Go on. Play. Stupidhead.

You responded: I will.

You continued: This is fun.

You relaxed and began to mock me with overly enthusiastic digs: raising the shovel high and letting the sand rain down. You let out a happy shriek and your mother clapped. Mine even smiled. Brutus in a dress. I may have growled because she shot me a warning glare.

I know you could sense my growing anger because your eyes flashed with excitement.

You went on: I like your shovel.

Your shovel is fun.

Your shovel is fun.

Your shovel is fun.

Your shovel is so fun.

And then you said it. The words that cracked my psyche and landed me in the gulf of punishment that now I type from.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING. I lunged.

You weren't expecting me. Perhaps you thought my mother's presence would keep you safe from my building rage.

Your face froze in abject terror as I tackled you. Sand flew up as our limbs and feet scurried. The last thing I remember is how the subcutaneous fat of your cheeks rippled as my hand made contact. Your skin danced as if it was cheering for me. Your own body knowing that you deserved it.

"NO! NO! WE DON'T HIT!" her voice was urgent and high pitched, but she didn't shout. She doesn't do that in public. It was obvious that she was mad but the slight tremble in her voice coupled with the sideways glances of other parents trying to watch without watching told me she was also ashamed which I knew was worse. While she's usually quick to forgive my transgressions against humanity, the ones against her ego tend to, how do you say...linger.

There would be no dessert tonight.

The crowd parted.

"Say you're sorry right now, "she hissed into my ear.

Absolutely not.

You howled like a wolf at the moon and clung to your mother like the baboon-faced marsupial that you are. Large tears fell liberally and within moments your face was a snot swamp.

"Say. You're. Sorry." She held on to arm with a firm grip.

Looking down I muttered: "Applesaucy."

We were both whisked away. All that remained at the crime scene was a small indentation in the sand where your head had fallen after my blow and a solitary toddler sock that had been left behind in the rush.

Meters away I could still hear your whimpers accented with dramatic gasps, as your mother held you close, a firm hand pressing your freshly-slapped face to her chest.

Our moms were both speaking to us as they walked briskly. Yours sang gentle coos and apologies: promises of a warm chocolate milk and cookies. Mine, tight lipped, clenched teeth reprimands: promises of reporting to family and Santa.

Child I Hit At The Park, I learned something today. Life is not fair. Life is not just. But if we have courage, even time outs can feel like victory. I have not moved from the naughty spot since I landed here eleventy thousand hours ago. I will serve my time with dignity, knowing that I prevailed over your tyranny, you rapscallion baby.

Years from now I'll think back to the shock in your eyes as I rained justice on your face and maybe one day I'll be sorry but today is not that day. Today, I regret nothing. Applesaucy, my friend. Apple. Saucy.

HT

What to look for in a SAMA member montessori school Choosing a Montessori School Montessori schools operate throughout South Africa. Each school reflects the interpretation and personality of the individual owner. We encourage you to visit as many schools as you can to ensure you find the environment that will complement your home life best.

• The environment is peaceful, attractive, homely and inviting.

• The adults encourage hands on learning following the child’s interests rather than following the state curriculum or rote learning.

• The children are self-motivated and rewards and/or punishments are not used to manipulate behaviour.

• The adults and children demonstrate a reciprocal respect towards one another.

• Children can be found working at a table or on the floor; indoors or out, with a variety of multi-sensory, manipulative materials.

• Collaborative learning is encouraged. Children can be seen assisting, teaching and encouraging each other.

• It is evident that the environment caters for children of mixed ages, particularly over a three year age span.

• A Sense of unity and excitement and joy should permeate the air.

Mixed age groups Vertical grouping (Mixed Ages), refers to at least a three year span between ages. Traditionally Montessori classes are grouped 0-3 year, 3-6 years, 6-9 years, 9-12 years, 12-15 years and 15-18 years. Some schools, due to logistics, may extend the 3-6 age grouping from 21/2 year or up to 7 year olds.

This implies that there is no separate Grade R or Grade 0 in a Montessori school. The 3-6 class may include children preparing for primary school but they are not separated from the rest of the class.

Developmentally the children in the older age groups prefer working and interacting with their peers. Here the focus is on smaller groups, co-operative and collaborative learning experiences.

Children working at their own pace.

The work cycle There should be an uninterrupted work cycle of no less than 3 hours. It is imperative that the child be given the opportunity to develop his/her concentration through meaningful work, free from adult interruption or intervention. This time should exclude all group activities and extras.

In a Montessori classroom, each child is working at his/her own pace within a mixed aged grouping. This allows for natural inclusion of children with special needs as the pace of learning is based on the child’s potential.

Intrinsic motivation A sense of happiness and peace prevails throughout the school. The children are comfortable in their environment and demonstrate a love of learning.

A Montessori environment provides for intrinsic motivation, as rewards and punishments deny children the opportunity to make their own choices and be responsible for their own behaviour.

A child is supported to analyse situations and make wise decisions, rather than make decisions based on what an adult might do to (punishment) or for (reward) them.

The prepared environment A Montessori classroom should be clean, neat, ordered, and well equipped with Montessori equipment and materials. These are accessible to the children – at their height and are always be complete and in good condition. There is a reflection of the home and it is aesthetically pleasing.

A well prepared environment is based on reality and nature. The learning areas for practical Life, sensorial, language, math’s, cultural subjects and areas for art, creative expressions and music activities, as well as a free flow to garden/outdoor activities, support the child’s development for physical independence.

The primary classroom provides for the intellectual independence of the child through richly resourced materials and books in different learning areas.

The prepared adult Staff should be trained and qualified as Montessori directresses/directors and assistants.

The adult in charge of these environments requires unique preparation. It is internationally accepted Best Practice that educators in Montessori schools should hold a Montessori teaching qualification and undertake ‘Continued professional Development’.

My Daughter Doesn’t Want to Spend Time with Family

Letter of from a concerned mother Our family has been a very active outdoorsy family over the years and both our kids have been gung-ho about it, but this year our 12-year-old daughter suddenly screeched to a halt. She no longer wants to be involved in anything with the rest of the family—she would rather hide away in her room. She used to be the first one off the high dive and now she doesn’t even want to go swimming. What happened? I have asked about doing family things that she wants to do and her reply is basically, “I don’t know” or “Nothing.” We realize that she may be entering a teen phase, but does anyone know how to navigate it and is there another side? Our son, who is two years older, never went through this, so it is baffling.

When a Teen Doesn’t Want to Spend Time with Family While it’s a common trend among young teens to withdraw from prior activities, you do want to make sure there is not more to it in your daughter’s case.

To determine if this is more than her attempt to separate and form her own identity, first try a conversation about how she has been feeling.

Many parents find that their kids share the most while riding in the car, nonchalantly talking in front of a TV show, or at bedtime. I would ask about her mood, friendships and worries. If you don’t get anywhere yet your intuition tells you there is more, reach out to a trusted adult friend or family member or a school counselor to find out if she is upset about something or facing depression or anxiety. Other signs of these disorders include change in affect, appetite, sleep, energy, academic functioning, interests.

Once you have moved past the concerning possibilities, I advise the following. Remember this is a normal aspect of a teen’s development, even though, as you have seen in your own family, not every teen goes through this phase.

1. Give Advanced Notice In order to increase participation, first, I would include your child in planning. For example, “We are going to go on a hike next weekend, is there a day or time that you prefer?” I recommend this because often times parents have to learn that their child will begin to make her own plans and needs more notice about family activities. Also, you are showing respect and increasing the likelihood she will join in.

2. Decide What is Non-Negotiable and What is Not Next, prioritize events and communicate your priorities in advance. For example: “We’re going to Grandma’s Sunday, and we need you to come.”

“I know it may not be your favorite thing, but going to your brother’s play is non-negotiable.

My college roommate is coming for lunch this weekend and she’d love to see you, but it’s optional. Let me know if you want to join us.”

It’s also good to explain: “We understand you want more time to your self now that you are older, and we will give you a pass when we can, but we will let you know when it’s not okay to opt out.”

3. Look for Activities Your Teen Will Enjoy Lastly, don’t push a singular activity, as you might create more resistance to it. Find activities that your teen enjoys and join in.

What I see most often in young teens is that they behave as though they want less attention from their parents. Nonetheless I advise parents to still be around as much as possible, because the teen still needs you there — at a distance, and on-demand.

Wendy Moyal, M.D., is a child and adolescent psychiatrist with the Child Mind Institute.

Source of article – with gratitude to:

Know That You're a Gift Of Joy....

Babies are often referred to as "bundles of joy."

Well, you're also a delightful present to others - you, too, are joy, gift wrapped in a beautiful human body. Everywhere you go, you exude wonderful energies, even when you're unaware of this process. You can't help but spread happiness, as that's your true essence and nature...

Of course, you can increase or decrease the amount of joy that you radiate, so place your attention on showering huge amounts of bliss wherever you go..

You can do this without a word - without even being noticed... Simply set your intention throughout the day to spread happy feelings, and its done... You'll know by the smiles and laughter you inspire that your aim has been fulfilled, for these are reflections of the gift that you've given.........

Thought For Today......

I spread happiness wherever I am..

I set the intention to give more of this feeling than ever today..

Everywhere I go, I ask that delight fill the hearts of those I encounter..

I am the embodiment of joy itself.....

Daily Guidance From Your Angels - Doreen Virtue.......

When Friends Phase You Out: That Ageless Conflict

by Samantha Wills

First came the sting of shock.

Then came the mild bubble of anger and resentment at the betrayal. Then came the internal slagging off, the “well, I have loads of amazing pals, I don’t need them anyway.”

Then, finally, the little deflated balloon of sadness that farts out its last scrap of air and says, in a tiny voice, “but they were my friends.”

I’ve been phased out by two mummy friends recently. I won’t lie, it feels shitty.

Both “phasing's” have been carried out in a passive aggressive way. The first friend – let’s codename her Coral – just stopped replying to messages, committing to play dates, being free for drinks, telling me about life events, and so on and so on. To everyone else, she’s the same old socially available Coral, but to me and a couple of other buddies, nada.

The second – let’s codename her Rose – sent the first fluttering's of uncertainty up my sails by neglecting to invite my daughter Mouse to a party that she’s hosted, and we’ve attended, for the last three years.

Again, with no former grumblings that our friendship had fallen shy of the runway.

Rose’s nail in the proverbial coffin came with that most feared of all PassAgg behavior: the Facebook Unfriending. In my standard overanalytical manner, I mentally retraced my digital footprint. Two weeks ago, I liked one of her statuses, so we must have still been “friends” then for me to have seen it. So at some point in the last fortnight, Rose called up my page and decided that no, she didn’t need me in her friends list. She didn’t like me enough to keep that little string of communication open, and she didn’t want my daughter to go to her daughter’s party.

Each of those little realizations felt like a bit of a kick in my stomach. Instantly, I felt transported back to the playground. I wondered what I’d done wrong, why I wasn’t good enough all of a sudden, and whether some of my other mutual friends might see what Rose and Coral have seen in me, and follow suit.

Rose and Coral are in the same NCT pack, within a wider First Time Mum brigade (established back when we were First Time Mums and clung to each other like limpets in uncertain seas). So it’s not beyond the realm of possibility that the phasing out might have been discussed at NCT Headquarters, a.k.a. the local health club.

First came the sting of shock. Then came the mild bubble of anger and resentment at the betrayal. Then came the internal slagging off, the “well, I have loads of amazing pals, I don’t need them anyway.” Then, finally, the little deflated balloon of sadness that farts out its last scrap of air and says, in a tiny voice, “but they were my friends.”

This is different than the natural drifting apart that many friendships go through, when interests and lifestyles and locations change, and the friendship isn’t quite strong enough to navigate and mold around those new differences. I’ve got a few of those under my belt, and I’m ashamed that I’ve let them get away. But with those, at least both parties are usually aware that their path has become overgrown and indistinct. With Rose and Coral, I really thought that we were muddling through quite well.

Running concurrently to this, Mouse’s preschool has reported a few instances of her friendship group regularly disbanding, or worse, excluding one member with exclamations such as, “You’re not my best friend anymore. We don’t want you to play with us.”

Although not the ringleader, she’s certainly one of the main culprits, and we hear all about the remnants of the fallouts as we’re getting ready for bed. “I couldn’t do dress-up today with X, because she’s not my friend. Y pushed W because they’re not best friends anymore. I didn’t want to sit next to Y for snack time because I don’t like her today.

She’s not best friends with anyone.”

As a mum, this breaks my heart. I watch Mouse at home and with other children, and she’s BRILLIANT. I’d love her to be my very best friend. She’s funny, she’s kind, she’s attentive. She’s imaginative, she’s playful, she’s gentle. She’s protective, she’s silly, she’s got an infectious belly laugh.

She’s also rather stubborn, quite bossy, and a complete snitch. Oh, she’ll rat you out in a heartbeat. It’s these three traits that make me worry for her, that I hope in time she’ll learn to tone down just a touch to align with what’s deemed socially acceptable, keeping her nicely below the parapet. I want her to develop a sense of social conscience, basically.

Isn’t that what life is all about – having a few hard knocks and tests of character, but enough happy feels to outweigh them? Isn’t it about realizing that some friendships are lifelong, and others come and go as life stages peak and ebb? Shouldn’t we accept these stages as a fact of society, rather than using them as a reason to self-deprecate?

Maybe. I hope so.

I see her innocence and her vulnerability, but is this starting to give way to something I wish wasn’t there? Is she already displaying the tiny, icy daggers of cruelty and exclusionary power that girls just seem to have? I don’t want that for her. I don’t want her to be mean. I don’t want her to be a pushover, either.

Girls, though. Damn girls.

I just want her to be her, as I know her.

I don’t want her to feel that knot in her stomach when she realizes that she’s not been invited to the party that her friends are going to. I don’t want her to comprehend the very notion of not being invited, of not being in favor with someone. Of not, full stop.

Equally, I don’t want her to be the reason that another person feels sad. I don’t want her to be the reason they might cry to their parents at bedtime and not want to go to school the next day in case they have no one to sit with at lunchtime, or play with at break time.

I suppose, really, I need to stop internalizing her anticipated feelings and behaviors, jumbling them up with my own. Just because I’m a sensitive old soul doesn’t mean that Mouse will be, too. Just because she’s feisty doesn’t mean she’ll be a bully, either.

Samantha Wills Mouse Moo Me Too is my parenting blog, with a sideorder of societal awkwardness and the odd swear. I use humor to glaze over my panic at all the challenges parenting throws my way. I live in Southampton, England with my two young daughters – who are irresistible and infuriating in equal measure.

You have the uncanny knack for being in the right place at the right time..

We angels are working with you today to further develop and polish this skill.

This begins with an understanding of energy flow..... which operates exactly like a stream of water or air... You've learned that a physical object such as a rock can bend a river's currents but ultimately won't stop them...In the same manner, Divine timing means trusting all the factors involved in answering your prayer. If you assume that there will be a problem, you erect an energy wall that's exactly like a boulder under the water: The flow doesn't go through the stone - it goes against and past it......

Today, hold the intention of letting the universe move you along. Don't resist the "push" that encourages you to expand and grow; instead, enjoy the ride that the current's flow provides......

Thought For Today...

I am in the right place at the right time, for Divine timing works in my favor.

I surrender any and all resistance to abundance.

I am now completely open to receiving the Universe's help and gifts.

Daily Guidance From Your Angels - Doreen Virtue.....

If there is one thing we know for certain and that is thing's CHANGE...

There is nothing more certain in our lives than change... Yet many of us fear change, and make elaborate plans to avoid it.

We fear the new and find comfort in the stability of the known and familiar.

But to grow....... you need to not only accept change, but to embrace it, joyfully....

Think of a flowing stream, as representing your life. In some places it flows smoothly with barely a ripple as it travels on its journey.

At other places along the way, obstacles create great turbulence, the water roars and thunders, as it crash's through the gorges and down the falls..

These represent both the easy and difficult times your experience..

Yet a stream may have a place where the water becomes banked up, stagnant, unhealthy, here nothing thrives and nothing changes.

Welcome the rushing waters of change into your life.

Change means growth, spiritual health and self-realization.

Embrace each new direction you encounter with courage and enthusiasm.

It the key to a happier you.... ~ Jane Powell ~

Learning Games For Your Preschooler

by Maren Schmidt

The What If Game

When we observe that a child is having difficulties exhibiting appropriate behavior, the What If Game gives us a way to begin teaching thinking skills and different possibilities.

For example: If we see a child who is pushing children out of the swings at outdoor time, we can gather a small group, or you can even do this in a whole group setting. Pose a situation and then ask and discuss with the group three key questions.

Ask: What if you wanted to swing on the swing and nobody would let you have a turn?

• • •

How would you feel?

What could you say?

What could you do?

Introducing this simple scenario followed by these three discussion questions helps the child with lagging skills express their own emotions, listen to others’ point of view, as well as listen to other ways of doing and being.

For other children, this exercise also empowers them to help the child with lagging skills by offering friendly reminders about how to ask to swing, how to wait your turn, etc.

Perhaps for the child who swings more than her share, she can begin to understand others’ frustrations and points of view.

Play the What If Game to help children learn appropriate behavior and learn to be successful in social situations.

Number Trains

“It’s not fair. He has more than I do.”

Bryan and Dana had started out with identical candy canes. Dana’s had dropped and broken into three pieces. There was no convincing her that Bryan had the same amount as she did.

She wanted the long peppermint stick. It was more. Bryan, then six-years-old, traded his one long stick for the three short pieces. Peace again ruled the day.

Research shows that pre-school children perceive the length of objects to be the indicator of quantity, instead of the actual number of objects.

Children were asked to say which of three vases contained the most number of flowers. One vase had three flowers. Another vase had five flowers. The third vase had two flowers about three inches taller than the flowers in the other vases. The children chose the vase with the two tall flowers as having the most flowers.

After working with young children for many years, I’ve observed this phenomenon of children perceiving length to indicate quantity.

This perception explains the tears behind a broken peppermint stick, as children see the short pieces of a broken candy cane as being of less value than an equal unbroken piece of candy.

This perception of length for quantity can make it difficult for some children to grasp the concept of quantity.

This exercise, Number Trains, can be put together with jumbo colored craft sticks. It can help your three-year-old or older child with the concept of quantity while using their innate perception of length for quantity.

Number Trains Materials Needed • 55 jumbo craft sticks in red and blue (30 red color, 25 blue) • Two containers for sticks Place the 30 red sticks in one container, the blue ones in the other.

Take one red stick out, and place it horizontally in front of the child. Say to the child, “One. This is one stick.”

Diagram:

Take out a red stick, and place it directly underneath the first red stick. To the right place a blue stick. Place your index finger on the red stick and say “One.” Then place your index finger on the blue stick and say “Two. Here are two sticks.”

Diagram:

Take out a red stick, and place it directly under the first two red sticks. Add a blue stick and then another red one. Place your index finder on the first red one and say “One”. Then place index finger on blue and say “Two.” Then place your index finger on the third and red stick and say, “Three. Here are three sticks.”

Diagram:

Return the sticks back into the container and say to the child, “Now it’s your turn to build one, two and three.”

After the child can build these three “number trains” independently, which may be anywhere from one day to many days, introduce four, five and six, in the same manner as you introduced one, two and three. Introduce quantities to ten as your child independently builds the number trains, one by one, length by length.

They Set Up A Camera In The Forest And Captured The Most Incredible Scene Ever Paul Stamets spent his live exploring fungi, their role in enriching the forest soil with nutrients and ultimately in helping our home planet defend itself against us humans. Unfortunately, unless we learn to communicate with Mother Nature and stop killing Her, all of this won’t be enough.

The fungal-fantastical. Emerging from their axial homes, fungi are beginning to be understood as nutrients to the human consciousness and ecological sustainability. Paul explores mycology and compels support for your own good nature and our fungal allies. This is the first in a collaboration of Louie Schwartzberg of Blacklight films http://bit.ly/FantasticFungi ) and Paul Stamets of Fungi Perfecti http://fungi.net

By Judy Hanning Dyslexia is a different way of thinking. There are significant differences in brain function among children with dyslexia. Sadly, the diagnosis often comes after a child has fallen behind, frustrated by schoolwork, and is giving up. Most teachers do not understand the challenges of dyslexia. Testing as early as possible is important. When dyslexia is identified, students can get the help they need.

Educators need to start getting creative.

Dyslexia is a different way of thinking and a result of cerebrodiversity. It can be confusing for a student to be in a typical learning environment.

• • •

Each person's brain operates a little differently from any other person’s brain.

Typical teaching methods are not always compatible with the way a dyslexic learns Most educational methods cater to using one broad approach for all students.

Dyslexia occurs because brains are organized differently Children with dyslexia tend to struggle with phonics or sounding out words. There are three areas that can challenge the dyslexic brain: • • •

Phoneme awareness Fluency Comprehension

Hannah talks about her dyslexia

Understanding dyslexia is the first and most important step in dealing with the condition.

Dyslexic children’s brains are organized differently. Thus, learning to read for a dyslexic child requires non-traditional methods. Students may have confusion over learning methods that don’t work for them, but seemingly work well for others. Diagnosis often comes after the student has experienced repeated scholastic failures and fallen behind their peers. However, testing for possible dyslexia allows early intervention, as early as kindergarten or first grade.

Once diagnosed, a child is able to learn to read with the help of specially trained teachers and necessary resources.

If a child suffers for a long period before getting help it is likely they will suffer damage to selfesteem.

Dyslexics are not the only "Different Thinkers". Many of the world's best creators throughout history saw things in a different way. We need to find ways to enhance our teaching systems to help these children get the best education in a way that they will thrive.

Do You Need help with a Dyslexia Problem?

Our simple online analysis will help you get to the core of the problem and find the right solution for you.

Understanding how to help someone with a learning difficulty starts with understanding which micro-skills are affected. When you learn which of the micro-skills is the problem, you will then be on your way to solving it.

You'll also learn how to: • • • •

Build confidence Enhance Learning ability Eliminate avoidance Build grit

You can get this analysis for free by filling out this simple form. This will help you get to the bottom of a learning difficulty and provide you with a solution. If you are ready to put this problem behind you click the button below and fill out the form.

Conscious Life Magazine

THE STRESSED-OUT CHILD

By Maren Schmidt – Kids Talk “My seven-year-old daughter says she’s stressed-out. But what kid isn’t stressed-out nowadays?” my dentist said.

As I lay there mouth opened, unable to speak, I thought about my dentist’s daughter and other stressed-out kids.

Seven seems young to say you’re stressed-out.

Maybe ninety-seven is too young to say you’re stressed-out.

Are kids more stressed-out than generations past?

My mother dealt with World War II when she was seven. My grandmother was seven during World War I. We had monthly atomic bomb drills when I was seven. Perhaps we didn’t have the language for stressed-out. Maybe we had a stronger social network to relieve the tensions of the time.

Somehow, I sense an underlying truth in my dentist’s question, “What kid isn’t stressed out?”

Stress is not all bad.

It can help energize us to get things done in our lives. Stress is the body’s chemical and neural response to a situation that is threatening or frightening. With stress our heart rate increases, our blood pressure rises, stress hormones increase. The fight or flight instinct emerges in our behavior and our thoughts.

Stress can become toxic when our body’s systems stay on high alert for weeks or months at a time. Elevated levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, can damage vital parts of the brain, such as the hippocampus, which regulates memory and learning. Sleep and appetite are disrupted and behavior problems related to our flight or fight instincts may appear. Lingering illnesses, such as the cold or cough that won’t go away, may be signs of toxic stress in our children, and in ourselves.

Our children cannot deal with the fears and subsequent stresses of life on their own. Our children need the presence and assistance of caring adults who can reassure and comfort them. Children who emerge from severe traumas with few or no serious effects have strong relationships with supportive adults.

Positive adult relationships help keep stress levels in a manageable zone for children.

With reassurance and trust from adults, a child’s brain development and physical health are not compromised by the overabundance of stress hormones.

A stressed-out child is a child who feels frightening or threatened. Let’s listen and help our children name their fears and learn how to deal head on with those fears with our loving support. Let’s help every child feel safe and loved.

Dr. John Gottman, in Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, tells us that the fears that most children face, varied as they may seem, are related to these six issues: • • • • • •

Fear of powerlessness Fear of abandonment Fear of the dark Fear of bad dreams Fear of parental conflict Fear of death

We can help our children by assisting them in recognizing their fears, and giving those fears a name when they appear. We can talk about those fears in an empathetic way and not dismiss our children or their fears as being babyish. We can give our children strategies for dealing with dangerous situations, for example having a fire escape plan for your family, how to call for help or how to deal with strangers. We can help our children learn skills to cope with the feeling of powerlessness.

We also need to listen for the emotion behind the questions our children might ask.

Asking about power outages may be a question about how to deal with the fear in complete darkness, and not a question about electricity generation.

The stories that children, around age six, love to listen to and read, usually address all of the fears listed above. In books, such as Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys, The Lord of the Rings, Charlotte’s Web to Harry Potter, the issues surrounding these six fundamental childhood fears are handled in a way that speaks the truth to our children. These stories ignite our children’s imagination about how they might act in similar situations.

SUPPORTING THE CHILDREN

By Penni du Plessis www.divinespace.co.za This collective pause has been a time to take stock of our lives. We have been given the time to be aware of how much toxicity we had been living with and feeding into the planet. How little nurturing you were receiving and how much time did you have to nurture and enjoy your family? How much of your life was fun for you?

Everyone is talking about how nothing will be the same again, and yet we don’t know what that will mean for us in the future. Maybe the best thing we can do is to acknowledge that everything we have experienced and done up to now has been sacred and has given us the tools to move forward in a new way.

This means that your first step is to look at what you would love to do, and what you need to let go of. Would this mean job changes, lifestyle changes, having healthier boundaries, simplifying your living and expenses or choosing who you want to include in your life going forward?

Sadly, most of us have been focusing more on the problems than the possibilities, and we have noticed how severely this is affecting many of the children. They listen to our conversations and fears and in their little minds it becomes insurmountable. Many have become fearful of going back to school, seeing their friends and have lost their spontaneity and social skills. I heard a child become hysterical in a shopping center when she saw a Chinese person. She had obviously heard her parents talking about the pandemic and blaming the Chinese for it. We have to be so careful of what we say in front of these sensitive little beings.

I was guided to make a new oil on the 22nd April to support us all, and this one is Olive in colour. It is called Earth Gift and is truly that. The colour is a combination of yellow and green.

The hidden yellow helps to ease the stress and fear we are all feeling or picking up from others, while the green energy opens the heart and invites a new way forward. The 9 essential oils included have all been chosen to help support the immune system, while clearing and opening both the lungs and the heart energy.

I use it twice a day and I am on my 3rd bottle – it is amazing how it is helping me to keep centered, healthy and not to get hooked into the collective fear or anger-based energy. I highly recommend it for all members of the household.

The Yellow Light Matrix oil rubbed on the face and the tummy helps the child to absorb information, process and integrate it. Use it while doing homework or studying, and again just before writing tests or exams – to assist with recalling the information while calming the stress and fear of exam time.

I am also available for individual counselling and Bars sessions (only seeing 1 client a day), This is supportive for all ages, as it calms the mind and puts you into a deeply relaxed state. During this time I will give you tools to help manage your life going forward. Please see this video demonstrating and explaining this amazing modality.

Planet earth is evolving and societies are struggling to keep up because they don’t have the tools to work with. The best gift you can give to yourself and others, is to be of service in any way. A comforting hug, listening ear or cup of tea to a troubled soul could be all it takes to lift someone's spirits.

As you start living your life in a more aware, conscious and compassionate way, you will be an example for others. Think of it as walking on a pristine beach and all you can see are your own footsteps. This is the path your children will follow, so chose your path well.

Sending you love from my heart and home to yours

What is CBD? CBD is a natural compound found in cannabis flowers. It is a safe non-addictive substance and is one of hundreds of Phyto cannabinoids that are unique to cannabis. CBD stand for Cannabidiol and is found in both hemp and cannabis plants.

CBD is closely related to THC, which is psychoactive (can make you high). THC has many uses and works synergistically with CBD. They both have significant therapeutic properties, but they act in different ways on different receptors in the body.

CBD and THC interact with our bodies in a variety of ways. One of the main ways is by mimicking and enhancing the effects of the compounds already in our bodies called “endogenous cannabinoids” - so named because of their similarity to compounds found in the cannabis plant.

These “endocannabinoids” are part of what scientists refer to as the “endocannabinoid system.”

The endocannabinoid system gets damaged after we are born. First off, many years ago the animals were fed hemp or cannabis and that came through in the products that we ate. Since around 1937 hemp and cannabis were banned, so animals never got it anymore and neither did we. Then vaccinations were brought in to protect us for some of the horrible illness around, which in turn damaged our cells and bodies in unseen ways. That is how our life starts and we wonder why we all end up with arthritis, depression and cancers.

CBD is easily able to heal diseases. It offers anti-inflammatory action, immediate pain relief and regulates blood pressure and cholesterol. It doesn’t just treat the symptoms.

The CB1 And CB2 receptors are situated throughout our body so CBD wont just heal one issue in your body but everything that it comes across that is out of kilter. And it’s not just for us, the young middle aged and elderly, any animal that has a skeleton can benefit from this.

There is growing evidence that many diseases can be successfully treated with CBD, from any inflammation and stress related diseases, cancers, arthritis, epilepsy, Alzheimer’s etc.

CBD does not work on Hormones and Testosterone, but it can help with the side effects.

CBD can be taken as an oil, capsule, balm, tincture etc. As with most products it is best to speak to a professional and ensure that the product is safe to use for your particular ailments.

What, how, and why middle class teens steal

By EJ DICKSON

I was 13 when I stole my first pair of underwear. It was a pink rayon polka-dot thong from Victoria’s Secret, the type of candy-floss garment that an adolescent girl might find sexy, but that no adult woman would actually wear. There may or may not have been a bow tie in the back.

"Hey," I told my friend Amanda* while we were in the dressing room. "I’m going to put this on and wear it out of the store." Amanda was sweet-faced and curly-haired, the type of girl people assumed was nice because she smiled a lot and wore pastel-hued J.Crew cardigans.

Like most adolescent friendships, we had our circumscribed roles that we both leaned into. I was the bad girl from the big city who wore smudged eyeliner and carried menthols in my Hot Topic kitten purse; she was the princess from the suburbs who would almost certainly end up majoring in French literature at a liberal arts school.

On that day, however, Amanda didn’t play to her role as the corrupted innocent. Instead, she buttoned down her jeans to reveal a pair of striped bikini briefs. "The trick is to not take the ones with the tags," she said. "That way, they can’t track them when you leave the store."

Was there some sort of adolescent comingof-age ritual that I had somehow skipped over up until this point?

I was stunned. Clearly, this was not the first time Amanda had shoplifted. Was it possible that she was somehow more advanced in her juvenile delinquent-dom than even I was? Was there some sort of adolescent coming-of-age ritual that I had somehow skipped over up until this point? Was I actually not as bad a girl as people thought I was?

I wasn’t sure, but I knew I had to catch up. So for the next few months, Amanda and I casually stole whatever small sundry items we could get our hands on — a Bonne Bell root beer-flavored chapstick from Claire’s here, a candy-floss thong or panty with the word "slut" on the back from Hot Topic there. Occasionally, I’d introduce the practice to friends from out of town, by way of offering them a real city experience.

"The trick is not to take the ones with the tags," I’d tell them sagely, as if I were a miniature Danny Ocean with tits. "That way, they can’t track them."

If you asked me why I did it, I couldn’t possibly have told you. I didn’t particularly want the items I stole, and I could have easily afforded them. For whatever reason, it just seemed like the right thing for a white, middle-class teenage girl like me to do.

But when (and how) did this become the case? Why do so many girls from what’s colloquially referred to as "comfortable" homes, girls with no history of juvenile delinquency, somehow become stickyfingered once they reach adolescence? Why did I? I wanted to find out, so I spoke with psychologists, experts, and current teen lifters to get to the bottom of why young women love stealing.

From Pretty Little Liars to very special episodes of Full House, shoplifting as a rite of passage for teenage girls is omnipresent in popular culture. And while statistics show that the most common shoplifters are white middle-class men, according to Rachel Shteir, the author of The Steal: A Cultural History of Shoplifting, throughout history it’s most commonly been associated with young women. That’s been the case since the 19th century, following the rise of chain department stores and kleptomania diagnoses among young women.

"It is a kind of rite of passage, and speaks to the commercialized idea of beauty for young women. The idea that young women need to steal, especially expensive things, to improve their lives, is really wound into our culture," she told Racked.

It’s unclear exactly how many shoplifters are young and female, because shoplifting statistics aren’t super reliable, says Barbara Staib, the director of communications for NASP. There’s a huge chasm, she said, between "the percentage of people who actually shoplift versus the percent of people who are reported to the courts or retailers," she told Racked. "Many times, if it’s young people, [security guards will] catch them and they don’t report them to the police."

It’s also fairly common for teenage shoplifters to do it in groups rather than on their own, said Dr. Barbara Greenberg, a clinical psychologist and therapist who often works with teenagers. "You get so much more excited in a group than if you do something alone," she told Racked. "The rush of getting away with something is contagious. It’s sort of like having a little party."

For that reason, many teen shoplifters who don’t get caught the first time will likely do it again. "It's pretty easy to steal, considering most stores don't put alarms on their items and don't check how many items you bring out of the dressing room," Talia*, 19, who has been lifting since she was in elementary school, told Racked.

For the most part, teenage girls are prone to lifting smaller, more compact items, such as lipsticks and eye shadow palettes from chain drugstores. This is for both pragmatic and symbolic reasons, said Greenberg.

"Teenage girls are really focused on their appearance and how they compare to other girls," she explained to Racked. "So it makes perfect sense why they’re stealing things that have to do with their identity. They’re also stealing things that are easiest to steal, that are small and easy to hide.“ While some lifters descend to almost Inspector Gadget-levels of thievery, using hooks or magnets to swipe items, some, like Julia*, 19, are more low-brow.

"I typically would stick things in my bra and underwear, as I knew those were safe places where your average store owner wasn't going to try to look," she said.

For this reason, she predominantly lifts small items like makeup, bath bombs, incense, and various other trinkets, usually from stores like Forever 21 or Victoria’s Secret. She also lifts from small local stores, which sets her apart from many other lifters who frequently express their aversion to stealing from momand-pops.

"Those were the easiest to take from," she said. "They usually didn't have cameras and the stores had lots of blind spots, and I was a sucker for cute trinkets and yummy-smelling candles."

One of my friends even told me that when she shoplifted as a teen, she once walked out of Kmart with a bicycle.

"The security guard paused me and said ‘Is that your bike?’ And I said yes," Emily*, 35, said. "When I got out of the store and started to ride it, I realized it still had a card in the front wheel that said ‘Kmart sale’ with the price and everything." She attributes her ability to walk out unscathed in part to her privilege: "I look like a teenager, I’m white, I’m an attractive girl, etc.

"I assume it was easier for me to slip through unnoticed."

As depressing as it sounds, there is some truth to Emily’s suggestion that young, white female shoppers are less likely to get caught.

Stores like Barneys have been accused of racially profiling people of color, with one lawsuit alleging that the store detained "a disproportionate number of AfricanAmerican and Latino customers" for alleged shoplifting, even though 2012 FBI statistics show that nearly 70 percent of those arrested for shoplifting are white.

For this reason, many young shoplifters don’t do so out of necessity, said Staib. "It’s typical of teenagers," she said. "They feel entitled to an item, whether they have the money or not." Talia said that her friends are emblematic of that sense of entitlement.

They lift, she said, because "they believe they deserve the item but don't think the price is fair — not because they can't afford it," she said.

That said, there’s a sizable contingent of shoplifters who will tell you that they do it out of necessity, not out of a desire to have pretty things. In fact, when asked why they lift, many of the young women who haunt Liftblrs (the nickname for Tumblr’s shoplifting community) will echo a social justice-infused rhetoric. "I kind of lift with a Robin Hood philosophy," one lifter told Good magazine earlier this year, expanding on her philosophy in the "about me" section on her Tumblr: "I essentially believe: take from the rich, give to the poor and fuck capitalism."

Older lifters like Shana*, 25, don’t necessarily believe they’re undermining the capitalist structure by shoplifting — instead, they’re doing it for their own survival. "The biggest misconception I'd like to clear up is that ‘all shoplifters do it for the thrill and will take from anywhere/anyone,’" she said. "I have never stolen from a friend or family member, nor will I. I have never lifted from a local shop... I began shoplifting to keep my sanity. I have continued shoplifting as a means of providing for myself and my daughter.“ Amanda and I, fortunately, were not in that camp; we were privileged enough (not to mention stupid enough) to get away with our minor transgressions simply because no one would have suspected two ungainly adolescent white girls of having the balls to commit such an act. Nor did we experience the rush of adrenaline that many lifters report experiencing when they come out of the store. In fact, I don’t recall particularly liking or even wanting any of the dime store items I swiped.

Mostly, what I remember feeling is an utter sense of befuddlement that I had gotten away with stealing in the first place. I spent my adolescence being constantly chastised — by parents, teachers, friends — for committing minor transgressions, while my friends who put on a more innocent front, like Amanda, were spared punishment. Even at 13, I was known as a bad girl, even though I actually didn’t do anything that bad except wear off-the-shoulder sweatshirts and eyeliner and curse a lot.

The fact that I’d gotten away with shoplifting — the one objectively immoral thing I’d ever done in my life — struck me as unspeakably ridiculous. But it was also, in a way, incredibly liberating. I’d spent so much of my adolescence resisting the labels that my parents and teachers had thrust upon me that to avoid wearing the one label that I actually deserved — thief — felt like a tremendous act of subversion.

When I brought this up with Dr. Greenberg, she said it "made a lot of sense" that shoplifting would feel empowering to me, as well as other teenage girls. "There’s this feeling of, ‘Look what we did, what we got away with it, despite the adults around me,’" she said.

Adolescence is a psychically tumultuous time for most young women; more than ever, it’s a time when women are torn between resistance and submission, between embracing the roles that society imposes on them or shaking them off entirely. Not every young woman caught in this struggle resorts to theft, obviously. But I do know this: Even if I didn’t need or want the items I lifted, even if I didn’t feel the rush of adrenaline when I got my paws on that thong or lip gloss, I kept shoplifting — not because I wanted to, but because, in a world that consistently labels young women as good or bad for no reason, as not thin enough or hot enough or rich enough or slutty enough or not slutty enough at all, stealing is the one thing a girl can do to feel some semblance of control.

To get that $13 Physicians Formula powder compact for free might not be an affirmation of power in itself. But in a world that constantly tells young women they can’t do anything right, shoplifting is the one thing that they do simply because they can.

*Names have been changed.

Article with courtesy to

Three Tips for Raising Resilient Teens Be a better listener.

Listen with the intention to learn. Let go of your desire to convince or impose your opinions onto your teen. Your conversation should provide space for them to express their ideas, explore new frontiers, form an identity, and remain open to constant change. If we can teach our teens to be curious and refrain from viewing experiences through a binary lens of black or white, good or bad, success or failure, they’ll begin to explore everyday experiences more fully. This more open mindset allows them to experiment, falter, and change their minds when something is not going according to plan and enables them to hear and appreciate diverse perspectives. The ability to adapt well to all circumstances builds resilience.

Empathize.

Be a source of support. Life is full of painful moments—friends move away, university applications are turned down, parents separate, and sometimes the road gets bumpy. Whether they’re experiencing excitement, anxiety, disappointment, or failure, let them know that you’re always there. The more you’re able to demonstrate a willingness to see life through their eyes, the closer you’ll become. A strong and trusting relationship makes the admission of defeat, disappointment, and achievement easier and the emotions that course through these moments will begin to unite you rather than divide you.

Talk honestly.

Ask questions that get the whole family to share about who they are, what they like, and how they interact with the world. Having their feelings validated gives teens the encouragement they need to feel accepted, admit defeat, and re-adjust. Often times the simple act of showing you care is enough to strengthen connections and build meaningful conversations that last a lifetime.

Theo Koffler is founder of Mindfulness Without Borders, a registered charitable organization that focuses on long term, strategic initiatives that advance mindfulnessbased social and emotional learning in educational, healthcare and corporate settings.

Philanthropist, author, public speaker and mindfulness practitioner, Theo has served on several boards and advisory committees including the A Mindful Society, Hawn Foundation, Students For Canada’s North, Inner Kids, and the Garrison Institute—where she co-authored the first-ever mapping report on Contemplation and Education in K-12 Educational Settings in the United States.

Scrumptious Smoothie Bowl for Baby & Mom

Recipe from Naturally Savvy

Smoothie bowls are becoming popular not just because of their pleasing taste and eye-catching colors, but due to the health benefits you can get from them as well. What’s more, almost anyone can satisfy their taste buds with a smoothie bowl.

Let your creativity run wild by combining different types of fresh and organically grown fruits and vegetables to create a nutritious and delicious mix. An example is this Spinach, Mango and Pear Green Smoothie Bowl recipe from Naturally Savvy.

Not only is this something that your kids will enjoy, it’s also a good snack that mom and/or dad will love, and will set them up for improved health.

Ingredients 2 organic mangoes 1 organic pear 1 tsp. coconut oil 250 ml organic baby spinach ¼ to ½ cup of water

Optional: Make this for mom too. To half the recipe, simply add 1 scoop of your favorite protein powder or 2 tablespoons of hemp seeds, use raw spinach, and a bit more water to desired consistency. So yummy!

Procedure: Wash, peel, core, and dice mango and pear.

Heat coconut oil over medium-high heat. Add spinach and cook until wilted. Drain excess oil from spinach.

Place spinach, mango, and pear in a food processor and blend until desired texture, adding water as needed.

Once prepared, refrigerate your homemade baby food within 2 hours and use within 24 hours.

For later use, store the puree in the freezer in airtight containers portioned into individual serving-sizes and use within one week.

Boost Your Health With This Delicious Spinach, Mango and Pear Green Smoothie Bowl Getting your kids to eat healthy while they’re young can be difficult, but the rewards are beneficial, as the vitamins and nutrients in healthy foods, like the ingredients used in this recipe, can positively impact their growth and overall well-being.

Spinach is a leafy green that is abundant in different vitamins, B vitamins and minerals that benefit your nervous and cardiovascular systems.

Most of spinach’s health-promoting properties come from plant compounds called flavonoids, which prevent cholesterol oxidation and help combat free radicals in the body. Meanwhile, chlorophyll and other plant pigments called carotenoids in spinach can improve vision and provide anti-inflammatory and anti-cancerous properties.

It’s not hard to love mangoes because of their sweet taste, and even more so when you consider their health benefits. Apart from having vitamin C that boosts healthy immune function and collagen formation, mangoes have vitamin A that’s critical for bone growth and maintenance of healthy mucous membranes and skin.

Meanwhile, mangoes also contain flavonoids with antioxidant and vision-protecting capabilities.

Make sure to eat mangoes in moderation, as the high fructose content can spell disaster if you eat too much of it. Note also that mangoes are allergenic for babies because of a chemical called urushiol that’s found in the rind,1 and may cause rashes around your baby’s bottom. According to Wholesome Baby Food, it would be ideal to start feeding mango to babies that are 8 months old and up.2 Apart from being tart and sweet enough to deliver sweetness to this smoothie bowl, pears have their benefits too, as they contain good amounts of:  Vitamin C that fights infections  Vitamin K that builds and preserves bone strength  B vitamins that lessen incidence of colitis, arthritis, gallbladder disorders and gout  Hydroxycinnamic and hydroxybenzoic acid that can prevent stomach and lung cancers Plus, if you keep the peels intact, you’re exposed to quadruple amounts of plant nutrients, such as betacarotene, lutein and zeaxanthin. These can shield your body from free radicals and ensure a lower risk for type 2 diabetes, cancer and heart disease. The only caveat about pears, like mangoes, is their high fructose content, which can be dangerous when eaten excessively, so make sure to control your consumption of this fruit.

If you haven’t used coconut oil yet for your baby’s meals, now’s a good time to start. Coconut oil contains medium-chain fatty acids (MCFAs), which are healthier compared to long-chain fatty acids (LCFAs) present in vegetable oils.3 MCFAs are easily digested, easier to break down, and go straight to your liver, allowing your body to convert these MCFAs into energy and not fat.

Coconut oil also has lauric acid that’s converted into monolaurin, a known virus-destroyer that works against lipid-coated HIV, herpes, flu, and measles viruses. Plus, coconut oil is capable of:  Enhancing heart health  Boosting healthy brain function and immune system  Regulating proper thyroid function  Keeping your skin healthy and youthful-looking

Easy DIY Crockpot Candles Supplies needed: – Glass jars – Soy wax flakes – Weighted candle wicks, large – Rosemary oil – Lavender oil OR dried lavender – Crockpot – Scissors – Chopstick or stirring stick

Directions: 1. Place the wick in the jar. If you need help getting it to stay centered, add a tad of glue to the weight and press into place.

2. Fill to the top with the soy flakes. Keep the wick centered as you fill.

3. Add 7-10 drops of rosemary oil to the jar. Place the jar in the crock pot set on high.

4. As the wax melts down, you will add more. Just sprinkle it in evenly around the wick.

5. Allow the jar to sit for about 60-90 minutes in the crock pot until the wax has liquefied. Add additional flakes as needed.

6. When the wax nears the top, sprinkle in the dried lavender buds. Or, you can add some of the lavender oil at this time.

7. Give the candle a last good stir, and remove from the pot.

Allow to cool and harden.

8. Snip off any extra wick before burning. Never burn any candles unattended or do crafts with hot wax around children.

DIY Crockpot Candles with Essential Oils are super easy and do not take a lot of time. You can do other things while they melt down. Have you tried making candles? If so please leave a comment letting me know how you make yours.

By Stephanie

Dr. Shefali Tsabary is a international speaker, clinical psychologist and acclaimed author of the award-winning book "The Conscious Parent". She blends eastern mindfulness with western psychology integrating wisdom from both traditions.

Her first book, "The Conscious Parent", has been endorsed by Oprah as one of the most profound books on parenting she has ever read. This book revolutionizes the parenting journey and allows us to transform our relationship with our children.

Conscious Life Magazine

Who we are: The Monkey Helpline, started in 1995, is a volunteer group, based in Westville near Durban in KwaZulu-Natal, but operating throughout the province and also anywhere else in South Africa and abroad where our assistance and advice are requested.

Our team of dedicated rescuers and rescue assistants, veterinarians, educators, monitors, fund-raisers, administrative assistants and supporters is what makes this project the success that it is today.

Monkey Helpline is a registered NPO. 130-166 NPO What we do: As a team we devote our time to educating people about the reasons why the monkeys are here, why monkeys behave the way they do, the things people should do or not do when monkeys are around, and how to humanely keep monkeys away from those places where they are not welcome. Just knowing that monkeys will NOT attack and bite people, and that they DON’T carry rabies, is usually enough to change antagonism and fear into tolerance, and frequently into appreciation.

We also run a rescue operation and a “high care” unit. We rescue an average of three monkeys every two days, and their injuries range from wounds sustained during fights with other monkeys, dog bites, being run over by motor vehicles, electrocuted, snared, trapped or poisoned, shot with airguns (pellet/BB guns), catapults, paintball guns and firearms, as well as being caught or injured on razor-wire. Many are babies who are orphaned or injured when mother monkeys are attacked by dogs or other monkeys, or are severely injured or killed in human-related incidents.

Over eighty percent of the monkeys we rescue, irrespective of the reason why, have got air-gun pellets lodged in their bodies. Lead pellets cause terrible pain, suffering and a lingering death and no person, adult or child, should ever shoot monkeys, or any other animals, with an air-gun.

As the only dedicated monkey rescue project in KwaZulu-Natal, the Monkey Helpline is available to do rescues 24 hours a day, every day! On any given day we are treating ten or more monkeys in our home-based high care unit – frequently in excess of twenty monkeys! Once they have recovered from their injuries these monkeys are released back into their home territory, transferred to a rehabilitation facility or placed in a sanctuary.

Education is a vital tool in our hands and we distribute thousands of information leaflets, and visit many schools (at least two schools per week) to do educational talks about the monkeys. During 2009 we spoke to over 40 000 school learners and their teachers. We also do talks to many other interest groups such as police cadets, garden clubs, public service groups, conservation bodies, body corporates, etc. In addition, we advise farmers, businesses, hotels and casinos, housing and golfing estates, botanical gardens etc on the best ways to manage human/monkey “conflict”.

Monkey Helpline networks with a number of other Vervet-related individuals, groups, and general primate- and animal-care NGO’s.

NB. There is no charge for the services we offer, but donations towards the cost of running the project are welcome. Without your support we would not be able to change attitudes and legislation in favour of the monkeys nor would we be able to rescue the hundreds that we do every year and alleviate their suffering.

Conscious Life Magazine

“Look into my eyes and you will see the same expressions of pain, despair, hunger, happiness and love that other little babies feel”.

Many of us get hit by cars, shot with pellet guns and often watch our mothers die on the side of the road.

Luckily for some of us we are rescued and end up in the care of Tracy, who takes us to Aunty Dr Kerry Eason in Durban for our injuries. Tracy is an angel to us, she cares for us and makes us feel better – we love her.

We need all the same things that human babies need like bottles to feed us warm milk, blankets and other baby items.

Tracy Rowles This amazing woman dedicates all her time to the rescue and rehabilitation of vervet monkeys on the KZN coast, in and around the Umkomaas area. She is on call 24/7, caring for the injured babies and often the older monkeys. She sees the horror of what these animals go through when they are injured – she also feels the joy when her little monkeys get well again.

Its all about saving furry babies

Umsizi Umkomaas Vervet Rescue Centre

Watch Tommy get his balance!

CONTACT DETAILS Tracy Rowles Mobile: 072 883 5119 Email: tracymonkeylady@gmail.com www.umsizi.za.org

ADOPTING A BABA Would anyone like to be Tommy's Adoptive mommy and support his care and feedings. R200 per month and you get a certificate, visiting rights as well as tagged in all his photos and updates. He is our first orphan of the season this year and after a traumatic past he needs all the milk and spoils of nice toys and blankets to keep him a happy baba.

There will be lots more babies up for adoption.

An Invitation to a Baby Shower with a difference "You are cordially invited to Umsizi's Vervet Rescue's baby shower. We at Umsizi are throwing a baby shower to try get together all our needed items before the little ones start arriving so that we can offer, not only all our love and attention, but the best possible care and enrichment for these traumatized little souls.

With their mothers gone forever they need all the light and joy we can give and we need the your help to do that To donate your items you can deposit in our bank the amount chosen with a list of the items you want to see purchased. Any left over money will go towards monkey food of course. You may also drop off donations at Scottborough Vet or directly at Umsizi, just please phone Tracy to arrange before arriving.

You can follow our progress on Facebook as to how the basket is filling up, and also meet our new babies.

Bank Details and a list of items and prices are below: Bank: FNB (non profit) Chq Acc No: 624 987 321 58 Branch Code: 250 655 Swift Code: FIRNZAJJ

Items Needed: Price list: Small Lactogen 1 R 160 Large Lactogen 1 R 280 Porridge small R 30 Porridge large R 60 Fluffy blankets R 50 Towels R40 Toys R 10 and up Wet wipes R 35 Bottles R 36 (Available at vet) Meds R50 and up

Thanks so much to all our supporters . Tracy is working really hard to make a difference for these guys - let’s help as much as we can!

About Wags & Whiskers Rescue Team We are a small group of people who are dedicated to helping all furr-kids. Located in Fourways & Midrand JHB. Email wagsandwhiskers7@gmail.com Robyn: 084 593 1292 of Cheyna 082 307 2377

NEVAEH NEVAEH (Heaven spelled backwards) is being looked after

by Robyn herself until she can find her forever home. “She is beyond amazing. Can be skittish with strange men but she has been amazing with all the kittens, puppies, kids and whoever else comes through my door. Please someone offer her a forever home.�

CHILDHOOD CANCER Awareness & Early Detection CHOC’s Awareness Programme It is estimated that currently less than half of children with cancer in South Africa are diagnosed, and many of those who are diagnosed are in advanced stage of illness. One of the reasons for this is a lack of awareness and knowledge in parts of the health system regarding the early warning signs of childhood cancer.

As a result, CHOC initiated an Awareness Programme to disseminate the early warning signs that the South African Childhood Cancer Study Group drew up.

The objectives of the programme include ensuring that all children with cancer in South Africa are diagnosed as early possible and that the early warning signs of childhood cancer are well known in all parts of the health system (including primary health care clinics and all hospitals).

Cancer Facts Cancer incidence Although childhood cancer is relatively rare, the incidence rate has been increasing. According to a 2014 report by the American Cancer Society, it is now estimated that one in 408 children worldwide will be diagnosed with cancer before the age of 15. Yet with early detection and treatment in paediatric oncology units, globally the survival rate can be as high as between 70% and 80%, with variance depending on the type of cancer.

Common childhood cancers Cancers in children tend to be different from those found in adults, most often occurring in the developing cells like bone marrow, blood, kidneys and nervous system tissues. Life-threatening blood disorders include aplastic anaemia, thalassaemia and idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura.

Despite being relatively rare, in Western countries childhood cancer is the second most common cause of death in children aged 5 to 14 years, after accidents, whilst in Africa it does not make it into the top 10 common causes.

According to the most recent South African Children’s Cancer Study Group (SACCSG) registry statistics, for 2009 to 2013, the five most common childhood cancers in South Africa are leukaemia, followed by lymphoma (tumours that begin in the lymph glands), then brain tumours, nephroblastomas, or Wilms tumours – cancer of the kidneys - and then soft tissue sarcomas, which are tumours that begin in the connective tissue.

The Saint Siluan Early Warning signs These early warning signs were drawn up by the South African Childhood Cancer Study Group and they have been adopted by the International Society of Paediatric Oncology. St Siluan was a monk who prayed for humanity ceaselessly.

If you detect any of the warning signs in your child please contact your nearest CHOC region contact your nearest treatment centre or SMS the name of your province to 34486, at a cost of R2. A CHOC representative will contact you shortly thereafter..

There is also a TOLL-FREE HELPLINE: 0800 333 555 that sisters and doctors at the primary healthcare clinics can call (hosted at the Chris Hani Baragwanath Academic Hospital) for advice on whether to refer the child for further investigation and to which unit. http://www.choc.org.za/regions.html

Keeping more than hope alive for nearly four decades

CHOC Childhood Cancer Foundation was established in 1979 as a support group to parents of children with cancer, by parents of children with cancer. Having experienced the immense emotional and financial toll that cancer takes they recognised there is more than one victim in the family of the child with cancer.

Their aim was to ease the burden on parents facing the same journey by providing access to relevant, accurate information, as well as emotional and practical support.

From the onset CHOC provided support in the hospital wards, hence the name Children’s Haematology Oncology Clinics, or CHOC. Gradually parent groups were set up in other key centres, where the major state-funded academic hospitals are located and paediatric oncologists practice.

In 2000, these regional entities merged into a national organisation. CHOC now has a head office in Johannesburg, six regional offices, two branches, and 13 accommodation facilities close to treatment centres. With occupancy steadily increasing our budget for maintenance and running costs of the accommodation facilities in 2015 will amount to R7.132 million, with each facility costing over half a million and we have a total capacity of 66 030 bed nights per annum.

We do not receive funding from government but rely heavily on donations from caring corporates, individuals and parents of children with cancer. Funds raised are used to provide all-encompassing support – from direct practical help to the children and their families and those involved in the treatment – to necessary equipment.

Donate to CHOC The support of corporations and individuals is vital to the ongoing work of CHOC.

Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her.

I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid. As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn't want her to know that I hadn't been walked today. Sometimes the overworked shelter keepers get too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them.

As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone's life.

She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.

Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms.

I would promise to keep her safe.

I would promise to always be by her side.

I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes.

I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven't walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.

Support your local animal shelters – ‘forever homes’ needed

HUSKY ROMI WOLF SANCTUARY HuskyRomi is a non-profit organization providing a safe haven for abandoned and abused huskies and wolves in South Africa.

We provide a home to all huskies and wolves that can’t be kept as pets because of their complicated nature. Many of the animals arrive in a poor condition, some not even knowing what grass is. They are rehabilitated with loving care by Larry Paul. This website was started to provide support to the HuskyRomi project and to promote the protection of wolves and other wildlife. The sanctuary is open for the public to come and learn about wolves. We do appreciate donations and sponsorship for the buying of food, for veterinary bills and doing maintenance to the enclosures.

We currently take care of more than 200 huskies, wolves and hybrids in 54 enclosures.

Get Involved We are working towards getting a formal volunteer program off the ground at HuskyRomi. This is available to both local (South African) and international volunteers. Should anybody be interested to become a volunteer or to assist with the program please contact Larry on the number or email below.

Sponsorship and Donations Name a Wolf.

Should you wish to name a wolf, for instance in remembrance of a loved one or pet, you may arrange it with Larry. We just request that you then will be prepared to do a full monthly sponsorship of that wolf for a period of at least two years.

Get in Touch: Mobile: 071 679 5141 larry@huskyromi.co.za http://huskyromi.co.za/wp/

Conscious Life Magazine

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