Child of The Universe - Montessori Magnificence Parenting Mag Sep-Oct 2019 ed 57

*FREE DIGITAL MAG *ISSUE 57 SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2019

3 Ways to Montessori at Home

Children can Burn Out too!

15 Art Therapy Ideas

Parenting a Child with Extreme Behaviour

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contents THE MONTESSORI METHOD • 15 Montessori Quotes for Parents • 3 Ways to do Montessori at Home • Montessori-style Toddler’s Room • Fighting Teacher Burnout

• Musings from Mentors READING • Create Montessori Inspired Reading Area • Suggested Montessori Reading

BABIES & BEYOND LITTLE WELLNESS WARRIORS PEACEFUL PARENTING YOUTH OF THE NATION SCHOOL LIFE PLAY TIME YUMMY TUMMY OUT & ABOUT ANIMAL WORLD REACH OUT

Montessori Quotes for Parents “The greatness of human personality begins at the hour of birth.”

This is the moment a child begins to experience the world and all its sensory glory. Children are our biggest blessings in the world but we must remember that a child is his own spirit and person.

“Children must grow not only in the body but in the spirit, and the mother longs to follow the mysterious spiritual journey of the beloved one who to-morrow will be the intelligent, divine creation, man.”

There is a delicate balance between guiding and observing a child as he leads his own development. Yes, we are role models but we must allow the child to explore and discover on his own.

“The essence of independence is to be able to do something for one’s self.”

Parents offer unconditional love and this love should be within the context of helping a child developing independence.

“Respect all the reasonable forms of activity in which the child engages and try to understand them.”

There is always some sort of intention behind a behavior – whether good or bad – that isn't visible at the surface.

Inspiration Quotes about Parenting “To give a child liberty is not to abandon him to himself.”

“To let the child do as he likes, when he has not yet developed any powers of control, is to betray the idea of freedom.”

Both of these quotes lend to the idea of freedom within a disciplined environment. In other words, we do a disservice to the child if we don't offer boundaries. The idea is to create a well planned, well-prepared environment and give the child immense liberty within that environment.

“To assist a child, we must provide him with an environment which will enable him to develop freely.”

Observe the child. Do not intervene. This approach requires a lot of patience and discipline but it is absolutely necessary. From those observations, curate and prepare an environment best suited for his developmental stage and interests.

“Imitation is the first instinct of the awakening mind.”

Montessori often gets criticized for being too structured and too serious. Here is the thing, though, children find great joy in work an often this work comes in the form of imitation and that is a good sign.

More Montessori Quotes for Parents “Discipline in freedom seemed to solve a problem which had hitherto seemed insoluble. The answer lay in obtaining discipline by giving freedom. These children, who sought their work in freedom, each absorbed in a different kind of task, yet all belonging to the same group gave an impression of perfect discipline.”

“The child who concentrates is immensely happy.”

We often mistake this concentration for seriousness or a lack of joy. In reality, the experience is precisely the opposite for the child.

“The human being is a united whole, but this unity has to be built up and formed by active experiences in the real world, to which it is led by the laws of nature.”

Children need to be given the freedom to have experiences, to fail, and to explore on their own and within their own terms.

“We used to say that it was the mother who formed the child; for it is she who teaches him to walk, talk, and so on. But none of this is really done by the mother. It is the achievement of the child. What the mother brings forth is the baby, but it is the baby who produces the man.”

Maria Montessori Quotes from The Absorbent Mind “To recognize this great work of the child does not mean to diminish the parents' authority. Once they can persuade themselves not to be themselves the builders, but merely to act as collaborators in the building process, they become much better able to carry out their real duties; and then, in the light of a wider vision, their help becomes truly valuable.”

“To understand the baby's mind, it is absolutely essential to take the path of observation and discovery.” “..it is well to cultivate a friendly feeling towards error, to treat it as a companion inseparable from our lives, as something having a purpose, which it truly has.”

3 Ways to Do Montessori at Home

By Rachel Peachey

You cringe as your kid pours milk in their bowl of cereal. Their arms wobble under the weight of the jug. As expected, a bit of milk splashes onto the table.

But, in a perfect demonstration of responsibility and independence, your little one grabs a cloth and wipes up the spill. Not only does your child demonstrate independence, but they also practice their motor skills when serving their own food and cleaning up.

This simple moment shows one way you can use Montessori principles in your home. Here are three other practical ways you can incorporate Montessori in your home, along with the principles they follow:

Offer Choices In the Montessori classroom, children are allowed to choose their own work. This helps ensure that kids are motivated while working, making their efforts more effective. It also offers children the chance to practice decision-making skills, an important life lesson.

You might offer your child choice in the clothes they wear, activities that they do, or in the snack that they eat. However, this freedom of choice should have limits. As Montessori said:

“To let the child do as he likes, when he has not yet developed any powers of control, is to betray the idea of freedom.”

So, allow your child choices, but make your limits and boundaries clear. Your child should have a clear idea of what clothes are appropriate to wear, which activities they can choose from and what snacks are approved.

Use Real Materials Use glass or ceramic dishes instead of plastic ones. Offer your child real cleaning tools (although child-sized is best!). Montessori noticed that children, when given the choice, prefer to use real materials and perform real-life tasks rather than their toy versions. Why should your child pretend to clean or cook when they could be doing the real thing?

Using real materials also involves another Montessori principle: control of error. Glass dishes break when dropped. This means children must handle the dishes carefully and learn to clean up safely when a dish breaks. If you’re concerned about glass dishes breaking too frequently, try using a combination of wooden, metal, and ceramic dishes.

Facilitate Independence Montessori believed that children should be encouraged to develop independence from a young age. From feeding themselves to dressing on their own, preparing and serving their own food, and more, even the youngest children can do a lot on their own. In Montessori classrooms, children practice independence-building skills when they do practical life activities.

You can bring this to your own home by helping your kids be more independent. Facilitate this by placing stools around your home so that your kids can reach sinks and countertops. Another option is to make child-sized furniture available for your kids.

But, the hardest and most important part is staying out of the way until your little one asks for help. As Montessori said:

“Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.”

Incorporating Montessori principles into your home requires some adjustments, but if you work at it, you’ll get there. Soon, you’ll notice your children showing greater independence, initiative, and improved decision-making skills.

Montessori-Style Toddler's Room "There are many ingenious ways of 'fixing up' your child's room.“ —Elizabeth Hainstock Teaching Montessori in the Home

Once your child has learned to crawl and toddle, it's time to redesign the nursery. The baby's room was originally organized to make it easy and convenient for parents and caretakers. At this stage, it's time to adapt the environment to address your child's growth.

The nursery previously served as baby's place for sleeping, changing, nursing, and dressing. Now, it's time for some independence. By the age of 15 months, most children can walk without help, as well as comprehend and use some language. They are beginning to know what they want and are learning how to express their desires.

Transitioning from Crib to Bed Some Montessori parents choose to use a floor bed for their baby from the beginning, preferring the openness and freedom from confinement. Others find this too taxing on their backs and instead choose a crib that adjusts in height. By the time your child begins to climb out of the crib, it's time to move him to a junior bed or mattress on the floor. Have your child help with the redesign. Talk about the plan first and then include him in the execution of the change.

Ideally, all the furniture will be child-size, though you may continue to have a comfortable adult chair for reading stories, and the changing table might stay for now. If there's space, a child-size chair and table could be added.

Childproof from Ceiling to Floor Now that your child will be spending time alone in her room, childproof it carefully and thoroughly. Start at the top of the room and work your way down. Tie up curtains that could be pulled down and do the same with the strings from the blinds or shades. Be certain wall decorations are securely attached and free of glass. Make sure all electrical cords are out of reach—perhaps behind a bookcase or table. Cover all electrical outlets. If shelves are taller than your child, secure them to the wall. Put locks and drawer stops on the bureau drawers. Since you're familiar with the space and your child, you will know what needs to be done to ensure your child's safety.

Set Up the Closet for Independent Dressing Install a low rod in the closet so that your child can reach her clothes, or use low shelves and fold all items. Baskets or containers on the floor can hold a minimal number of clothing items— one for socks, another for underwear, and one for pajamas. The bottom drawer of the bureau is also an option. Choose to put out just a few items of clothing for your child to choose from, including only those items appropriate to the season and easy to coordinate.

Though you will probably help her dress for a while, be sure your child can find what's needed by keeping her clothing in consistent, easy-to-reach places. Show her how to dress herself, one item at a time, and once that is mastered, add another. Underwear or pants are a good place to begin. A small stool or child-size chair could be available for putting on shoes and socks—but, the floor is good, too. If possible, mount a mirror at your child's height and keep a comb and brush nearby. Remember to encourage your child to put her dirty clothes in the hamper.

Displaying and Organizing Toys Whether on the floor or low shelves, display a few toys that your toddler can choose to spend time exploring.

Toys might include a board puzzle with knobbed single pieces, some favorite stuffed animals, a box or tray with small trucks and cars, a stacking toy, and a set of blocks, along with some books. It is much better to rotate toys rather than overwhelm your child by displaying everything at once.

Teach your children the habit of returning each toy to its place before getting another—a place for everything and everything in its place. Of course you'll help your child put everything away until the routine is learned. When you notice that an item is seldom chosen or used, replace it with a new one. Children love to repeat activities and feel secure with consistency, so don't change things too frequently and try to include your child in the switch process.

Creating a Sense of Order and Beauty Maria Montessori stressed that children need a "prepared environment" that includes attractive art objects for them to enjoy. Try getting down at your child's level to survey the landscape. Is it attractive and interesting? Will your child be confident and independent in this room?

Dr. Montessori developed her theories early in the twentieth century, basing them on careful observations of infants and young children. Though our world has changed significantly since that time, the basic nature of the child is universal and has remained so. Young children become secure through a safe and orderly environment and a consistent routine that promotes independence as they spread their wings, first at home, and later, in the world.

MUSINGS FROM MENTORS A Montessori Programme at an established nursery school I entered the Introductory Course to the Montessori Method with a feeling that there could be a link between the method of teaching used in my own nursery school and that of Montessori.

What followed in the days ahead were beyond all expectations. I returned from the course determined to implement the Montessori Method in my school.

The biggest task was having to provide a unique environment – Montessori describes it as “a nourishing place for the child”. After the first week of lectures I removed every article from every shelf, and painted the classroom, sorted out the apparatus which would be suitable to the new environment and arranged the exercises of Practical Life. An environment where everything has its proper place and where there is an exact manner for carrying out every action. Fortunately most of my parents were able to attend the lectures given by Lilian Bryan and Lena Wikramaratne – the AMI directors and student trainers from the United States of America. This enabled them to realise that this was a superior educational approach to their children’s needs.

The first day of the third term dawned and there was much excitement at the sight of the ‘new look’ of the classroom. Twenty three; three, four, five and six year olds wandered around the classroom very cautiously – not touching a thing – just looking…. We began by gathering together on the carpet and I told them about a wonderful woman called Dr Maria Montessori.

Once I had related the story of the first Casa di Bambini, everything seemed to fall into place.

Any visitor to our classroom is sure to see children busily engaged in such occupations as sweeping the floor, dusting the shelves, cleaning windows, arranging flowers and scrubbing tables and the floor. The expenditure on cleaning materials has risen tenfold! On the evening of our Nativity play, Tanya rushed her parents and grandparents through to the classroom to see, not her painting on the wall, but a sparkling, shine sink. Tanya had spent an hour washing and polishing the sink.

The atmosphere in our classroom has become spontaneous, joyful and purposeful. There is a peace and freedom from tension, and the children are able to live their lives to the fullest. In an atmosphere of freedom a child reveals himself. I have had to rethink the needs of the Child.

The role of the teacher has become more purposeful for me. It is an indirect role where the goal is not to impose the will of one person on another, but to call the child away from aimless, destructive and sometimes chaotic behaviour, to bring him into focus and to free him for a constructive response to his environment. To accord the child dignity, trust and patience. To be constantly in a listening state. No matter how occupied one is with one individual, one must be alert to the others. “To understand and follow the child, the teacher must develop the desire and the ability to observe him.” This I find most difficult and should spend more time observing, but the days are not long enough.

The little children in my school are happy and hard working. The Montessori Method has revealed that the small child is a lover of work. This work is spontaneously chosen and carried out with profound joy. We have only just begun and have much to learn and a long way to go before the Montessori Method reaches optimal functioning in our small school.

One cannot help but wonder why it is that this Method is not accepted world-wide when it is far superior to our traditional educational system? People who know very little about it tend to look upon it as a cult.

Perhaps we would do well to note Dr. Montessori’s concluding remarks at the Ninth International Congress in London, May 1951. She said: “the highest honour and the deepest gratitude you can pay me is to turn you attention from me in the direction in which I am pointing – the Child”.

Article by Win Pledger –– The Montessori Society Newsletter issued somewhere in 1981

Extending Montessori into the home Based on observation and a systematic approach the Montessori prepared environment endeavours to expand language abilities that will bring about spontaneous reading and writing.

In this the role of the adult is to act as a link between the child and specially designed tools which evoke response from his sensitive need to incarnate language. The principles are to provide the means, time scope for purposeful activity that is free from environmental and adult imposed obstacles. In both the Montessori school and the home these principles can be realised by:  Creating the means to focus on one particular need at a time, and to isolate the difficulty; • Analysing the details to avoid superfluous information, and defining the content of the presentation; • Providing a built in control of error that allows the child to realise and correct his own mistakes.  Allowing the child his own time for practice and perfection through self-directed activity and spontaneous free choice.  Inviting the child to apply his acquired skills promoting scope and a freedom to advance learning.

To facilitate the child in his first stage of language development, orientation, there are several areas in which a parent may apply the principles of the Montessori Method and enhance the child’s sensibilities towards the spoken language. Orientation through the spoken language I of primary importance and set out clearly here:  The means by: • Modeling and exposing the child to a rich variety of words, clear and slow pronunciation, and correct grammatical arrangement of words in speech; correcting his speech by providing a tactful repetition with proper usage, i.e.: “Excuse me, but do I understand you to say….?”

• Providing lessons in Grace and Courtesy to promote good social relations and communications.

• Using the ‘three period lesson’ to teach accurate terms and the enrichment of the vocabulary.

 The time for practice through experience in the environment: • Rambles in nature with intelligent conversations which promote an understanding of growth and ecology and train the powers of observation.

• Playing memory games with the child to build verbal comprehension. This may be done by question and answer games, or verbal command games that build the auditory memory, i.e.: “Can you hop three times and then touch your nose?”  Exposing the child to the artistry of spoken and written communication giving scope and a vision of the beauty of words: • Casual conversation on topics of interest, stories, limericks, poems and folklore.

• Finger plays and songs with creative movement and dance • Exposure to culture through mythology and historical literature, theatre and foreign languages, and field trips to museums and exhibits of culture.

While the majority of these suggestions prove themselves to be self-evident, they are often overlooked because adults misjudge the child’s ability to absorb patterns of language long before he can produce them. If parents will make a concerted effort to provide the child with the means, the time and the scope to orientate himself through spoken language, the child will be well prepared for the programme that leads to spontaneous reading and writing in the Montessori prepared environment.

Article by Paul Raymond, Montessori preschool, Inanda – Extending Montessori into the Home – The Montessori Society Newsletter issued somewhere in 1981

10 Smart ways to fight teacher burnout that really work If a particularly rough day, class, or year has you wondering if you can keep going, you are not alone. Most teachers experience burnout at some point.

Whether it’s lack of administrative support, pressures around testing, or frustrating working conditions, teachers leave the profession for many different reasons. So what can you do to prevent teacher burnout and keep on track for the long haul? We talked to current teachers and education professors who know first-hand what challenges educators are facing today, and they shared these insightful ideas.

1. Deal with problems as they occur. Don't let them build up. Discuss problems in a non confrontational manner.

2. Find an outlet for tension that works for you. Try walking, gardening, games, crossword puzzles, etc. Stay away from the things that work for only a short time, such as eating or drinking too much.

3. Learn more about child development. When you know what to expect of children at different age levels, you will be neither surprised when some behavior appear, nor disappointed when other don't.

4.

Be prepared each day with lesson plans, but flexible and willing to adapt or change those plans as needed.

5. Keep records on children so that you can really see they have made some progress.

6. Try to detach yourself from situations that can't be changed. There will always be some children you cannot change, or some families you cannot help. Learn to accept this.

7. Keep in good physical health. Get enough sleep; eat a balanced diet.

8. Get away from the children for brief periods during the day. A tenminute break can definitely help.

9. Try avoid getting caught up in the daily "gripe sessions" with fellow employees. If does little good and only makes you feel worse.

10. Become an advocate for recognition of early childhood education as a profession with adequate and competitive compensation.

Article printed and supplied by the SAMA newsletter 30 July 2019

Reading is a hugely important part of our daily lives. Not a single day goes by where we are not reading for an hour or more during the day. In order to make our house as reading friendly as possible, we have several reading areas set up throughout our home. This post features our main reading space in our common living room and 3 Steps to Create a Montessori Inspired Reading Area of your own. Just as we prepare our home for other independent activity -- dressing, eating, working -- it's also important to prepare the environment for reading.

"Having prepared an environment scaled to the child and having been exposed to the freedom created by his impulses toward activity, we have seen characteristics in the child who is tranquilly at work that have never been seen before."

Maria Montessori

Creating a child-friendly, independent reading space doesn't have to be hard at all! In fact, a beautiful Montessori inspired reading area can be created in three easy steps!

1. Accessible Shelving As with any Montessori space, a reading area needs to be accessible to the child. While traditional bookcases may work well for adults, they rarely work for children who need to see the front of the book to remember the title they are searching for. So, with traditional bookcases, they books tend to all get pulled off the shelves and thrown everywhere. In contrast, forward facing bookcases allow for children to independently retrieve and put away books. This makes reading easier and keeps order in a space.

This shelving does not need to be super expensive large wooden shelving {although many commercial options exist for this too} but it can be as simple a wooden crate or basket on the floor. Small wall frames or picture ledges also work great for holding books and making them accessible for children. Basically, anything that allows your child to gather and put away a book independently will work!

Our bookcase is nothing super fancy, but it is well loved! We use a forward facing double sided wooden bookcase. I found this one at a thrift store for only $14! Using this type of bookcase has made all the difference in our reading area. It keeps things need and draws the children's attention.

2. Add Some Cozy Not only do we want a reading nook to be accessible, but we also want it to be cozy and inviting. We want the area to suck children in. Invite them to stay away. To curl up and get lost in the wonder of the book they are reading or looking through.

Again, this can be achieved in a variety of ways and tailored to your home. It may mean placing the shelving in an actual little nook {like a closet, tent or tight corner}! It may mean adding a child sized chair for your child. Or a larger chair for both of you. In some cases, a floor pillow or a few smaller pillows can create an inviting corner. A soft rug can invite a child to lay down.

Our main reading area is in the corner off of our living room. So, we've chosen a rug to define the space, but don't include any furniture. Just a few feet away are our couches so if the kids want to sit somewhere other than the floor, or if we want to read together, we can. In some of our other reading areas, we use small chairs and pillows to make the area cozy and fun.

3. Don't Forget the Little Details Finally, don't forget about the little details! These are the little things that make the space visually appealing and beautiful. It could be the perfect little lamp, a family picture, a favorite toy. Anything to give the space that extra little pop. I really love plants for this purpose, because not only do they help the environment, but they are beautiful and provide amazing practical life experiences.

In our space, we have a plant and our Grimm's Rainbow. Both just brighten the space, further calling the kids to explore. We also have our Grimm's pyramid of blocks near by. I often find that a good story will inspire the kids to build all sorts of amazing projects so I love pairing the two together. -

Most of these quotes came from The Absorbent Mind, a critical book written by Dr. Maria Montessori. I have written about the concept of the absorbent mind. I encourage you to learn more about Montessori's absorbent mind!

15 Maria Montessori Quotes for Parents & Teachers “Imagination does not become great until human beings, given the courage and strength, use it to create.”

“Our care of the child should be governed, not by the desire to make him learn things, but by the endeavor always to keep burning within him that light which is called intelligence.”

“It is not enough for the teacher to love the child. She must first love and understand the universe. She must prepare herself, and truly work at it.”

“Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old. ~ Kafka

There is so much truth to this quote. I chose to add this quote in outdoor learning because the ability to see the beauty is so present in the outdoor environment. Get outdoors and you will never grow old.

“All things share the same breath – the beast, the tree, the man. The air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.” ~ Chief Seattle One of my all-time favorite books for children because it tells a historic tale with a huge message behind it. I love the illustrations of the book and the message is extremely powerful.

“Those who look for the laws of Nature as a support for their new works collaborate with the creator.” ~ Antoni Gaudi Another favorite book on our reference shelves. The book is called Building on Nature. Every Antoni Gaudi work integrates nature. He had an eye and brought it into his work in an astounding way.

“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.” ~ John Muir

How To Raise An Amazing Child the Montessori Way

by Tim Seldin

A parent's guide to building independence, creativity, and confidence in their children using Montessori learning techniques, written by Montessori president Tim Seldin.

An international bestseller, How to Raise an Amazing Child the Montessori Way adapts Montessori teachings for easy use at home. Packed with Montessori-based preschool activities and educational games that build confidence and independence through active learning, this authoritative illustrated guide helps raise self-reliant and creative children. Celebrate physical and intellectual milestones from birth to age six with activity checklists, and encourage development through proven child-centered teaching methods.

This edition has been updated to include information about the neuroscience of child development and shares advice about screen time in the digital age, co-parenting, other family changes, and gentle discipline methods.

How to Raise an Amazing Child the Montessori Way shows parents how to bring the teachings of Montessori into their home to create a safe, nurturing environment for their children with clear and concise instructions.

Surviving the First Trimester, With and Without a Man Alyssa Shelasky, a freelance writer and the author of Apron Anxiety, lives in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

I’m having my second child with a wonderful partner. But I will always cherish the memories of my first pregnancy, as a single mom by choice.

It was 10:15 a.m. and I needed a cheese quesadilla — with a side of salsa and a side of guac — from Fatty Daddy Taco. I also needed to know if D.J. James Kennedy, of the Bravo series “Vanderpump Rules,” had been permanently fired for being a sloppy drunk. And I really needed to lie on the couch and scratch my huge, itchy boobs all day long.

That’s when disaster struck.

My boyfriend, Sam, called out from the kitchen to say that his meetings had been moved and that he’d be working from home that morning. “Want a blueberry-kale shake, Lys?” he asked.

“Noooooooo!” I wanted to shout. I’d planned to spend the morning in pop culture and comfort food bliss — alone.

It was my first trimester, and I’d begun having the same symptoms I’d had when I was pregnant with my daughter, Hazel, four years earlier. I was extremely tired, hungry, bloated, lazy, itchy and happy. Both times, all I wanted to do was hibernate, isolate myself and eat.

But there was one major difference between then and now.

When I was pregnant with Hazel, I was alone. A single mom by choice, I used an anonymous sperm donor to get pregnant. My parents and my sister were my full-time support system. I was privileged in many ways — especially in that I worked from home, made my own hours, and had both consistent income and decent health insurance. Though I had a safety net many single moms don’t, there was no man. And, truthfully, after years of difficult relationships, I was relieved to experience something so miraculous without one.

That pregnancy was a glorious time in my life. Even the first trimester, which felt like a 12-week case of the flu, seemed somehow enchanted. I had wanted to be pregnant my entire life and the fact that I had made it happen, all by myself, lifted me up each day. When I wasn’t working, I’d take myself on epic eating adventures, searching for the best tom yum or matzo ball soup, and then I’d slurp away, in big sweatpants and no bra. I ate so much Talenti ice cream that I still joke it’s why my daughter’s skin is so creamy. I binge-watched “Friday Night Lights” and “Veep” — fleshy and naked — from my bed. And I had many pregnancy sex dreams, all of which were, frankly, even better than the real thing. I was in a deeply loving relationship with myself, and it was magical.

Four years later, I am in a deeply loving relationship with Sam (the guy who intercepted the Fatty Daddy Taco fantasy).

I met him when Hazel was 7 months old, Tindering while breastfeeding. I was not looking for a husband or a father for my daughter — and I still, more or less, believed that relationships equaled pain — but I craved flirtation, and a martini. We met at a cool, rustic restaurant and when Sam went to the bathroom, I renamed him in my phone as “Sam Rockwell” (the actor he reminded me of, whom I’d always liked). Very quickly, very naturally, the romantic-cynic in me melted.

We’ve never been apart since. Hazel can’t remember life without him; she’s called him Dada since she could speak, and they are the sweetest father-daughter duo I’ve ever seen or imagined. Did Hazel and I need a man to have a complete and happy life? No way. Is our story more beautiful, and immeasurably easier, because we have him? Absolutely.

About two years ago, Sam and I started trying for another baby. I was 40. We wanted Hazel to have a sibling if possible. We had fertility problems, which surprised me, since I got pregnant with Hazel, via I.U.I., easily. This time, I had a couple chemical pregnancies, a miscarriage, and a failed I.V.F. cycle before we stopped trying. That’s when I got pregnant. I am due this fall. I’ll be 42.

One might assume that this pregnancy is leaps and bounds “better” than my pregnancy with Hazel. Not only am I not alone, but I am with someone who is kind, helpful and supportive.

While I don’t take any of that for granted — and having a second set of hands to deal with a toddler while pregnant is definitely helpful — I honestly can’t say that this pregnancy is better.

It’s just different.

With Hazel, the alone-ness of it all was powerful. It felt so deeply personal and private and cool.

This time around, sharing the shaky first trimester with someone other than myself made me feel, well, insecure. Sure, I’ve enjoyed showing Sam my changing body, and at times felt closer to him than ever. But, in the day-to-day, I’ve mostly felt embarrassed by my hungry, lazy gracelessness. Sam wouldn’t judge if I was in bed for all nine months, but I had a complex about it: I was a badass, single mother when we met, and now I’m an unshowered sloth who only rallies for my daughter and my food deliveries. What a gal!

Then there were those intense first-trimester doctor’s appointments. When I was expecting Hazel, my mom had come to every single one with me. My mother is extremely open and outspoken. She talks and overshares with everyone. It wasn’t always what I was in the mood for, but she sure made those appointments feel warm and fun. With Sam, a quiet and refined Mainer, I’ve had to dislodge my foot from the stirrups, to kick him, and yell at him to “look alive out there!” (That said, nothing compares to the tenderness of his hand on my shoulder as the technician starts the ultrasound.)

And then there’s the shared deliberation over names. I named my daughter Hazel Delilah Shelasky, but at one point, I considered naming her “Rutabaga,” just because I could. I took great pleasure in not negotiating the name with anyone, except maybe my aforementioned mother, who once said that if I named her future granddaughter Shiobhán Shelasky, she couldn’t promise to love her. (I think she was kidding?) This time around, I don’t particularly enjoy explaining to Sam that we cannot use the same name as his parents’ dog, Rufus. Or that, while it’s very pretty, nice, Jewish girls are not named Rosemary.

Again, not better or worse. Just different.

Four years ago, when people heard I was having a baby on my own, they’d often say, “that’s so brave!” I appreciated the sentiment, but I never felt particularly brave. I thought it took a lot more courage to have a baby with a man who could potentially leave or disappoint you.

But having Hazel cracked my heart open. And then — sappy pregnant-lady alert! — love found me. Love gave my daughter another parent who cherishes her as much as I do. Love gave me a partner with whom to share the anticipation and emotions — not to mention the queso cravings — of my second pregnancy. Love gave Hazel a healthy, strong sibling who will be there when we’re gone. I did not expect any of these things, but I am intensely grateful for all of them. Love had my back, after all.

The first trimester, land of bathrobes and Bravo-lebrities, is finally over. Hazel is decked out in “big sis” accessories, and Sam has a list of names that don’t remind me of pets or nuns. I am off the couch and feeling energetic again — but I still wouldn’t exactly refuse some Talenti.

Placenta Accreta: The Serious Pregnancy Complication You’ve Never Heard of I was never one to have “easy” pregnancies. In fact, after my third son was born prematurely, I wasn’t sure if I could emotionally handle another difficult pregnancy. When we decided to have one more child, I was expecting bed-rest and even weekly injections to keep him growing as long as possible. What I wasn’t expecting was to have a dangerous pregnancy complication that could have ended my life.

Most people have never heard of Placenta Accreta, but I’ve been feeling very strongly that I needed to share my story to help educate expecting moms and also to encourage them to follow their intuitions regarding their pregnancies. This post isn’t meant to scare anyone and this condition is very rare, but if I can help even one mom, than I need to share my experience.

When you think of pregnancy complications, you often think of Gestational Diabetes, Placenta Previa or Preeclampsia. In fact, you get tested for those things at your appointments. I had experienced Gestational Diabetes but other than having pre-term labor, I hadn’t had any serious complications with my other children.

Everything with my 4th pregnancy went according to what I was expecting. Yes, there was bedrest and weekly injections to keep my early contractions from progressing, and those things were normal for me. But there was something else that I couldn’t put my finger on. It wasn’t until recently when I was reading another mom’s experience with Placenta Accreta that I was able to put the feelings I had experienced into words. During my fourth pregnancy, it felt as though my insides were colliding. I was in pain! A lot of pain. But nothing showed up on the ultrasounds and it was pushed aside as normal pain from having carried four babies.

Looking back now, I wish I would have pushed for answers to that pain. But, I agreed with my doctor. Each of my pregnancies had progressively gotten worse, and since my body had a history of early contractions, lots of pain and not being able to carry a baby to term, I trusted that the pain was normal. My doctor is completely amazing and I know without a doubt that he checked things out thoroughly. But Placenta Accreta is tricky to catch unless you are specifically looking for it.

What is Placenta Accreta?

Placenta Accreta is a condition in which the placenta attaches too deeply into the uterine wall.

There are also more serious forms of this condition: Placenta Increta, where the placenta penetrates into the uterine muscle and the most serious form, Placenta Percreta, where the placenta penetrates completely though the uterine wall and attaches to another organ, such as the bladder. Placenta Percreta is very rare, but very serious.

The thing that was tricky about my condition, is I didn’t have any of the risk factors for getting Placenta Accreta, which included having Placenta Previa or having previous cesarean deliveries.

So it really wasn’t something we were looking for.

I went into labor with my fourth son at 36 weeks despite bed rest and the injections to stop contractions. One of the risk factors if you have Placenta Accreta is pre-term labor, but since I had previously experienced an early birth, I figured it was just my body not being able to carry him to term. He was delivered just fine and was perfect in every way. But it was my most painful labor and delivery and even with an epidural I could tell that something was not right. It was a different pain than I had experienced with my other deliveries.

It wasn’t until after my son was born that we discovered that the placenta was not coming out on its own. I was given a lot of Pitocin and other medication that I don’t recall, but it wasn’t helping. We had to do an emergency D&C right there in the delivery room. This was the first time I had ever heard the term Placenta Accreta. We were lucky that the nurse caught the anesthesiologist right as he was heading off of shift. From what I later heard he was the best and the only one who could have made the emergency surgery possible without having to move me to an operating room and put me under.

We didn’t have much time and my doctor told me after the fact, that you only have 20-30 minutes to deliver the placenta before you will start hemorrhaging and also that if I had done a home birth, there was a very good chance that I would have died. (I live an hour from the nearest hospital). I’m glad he told me all of this after everything was said and done and I was still alive! All I knew at the time was that the placenta wasn’t coming out and that it was serious. Once things were said and done, I wasn’t able to be moved from the delivery room for about 8 hours. I couldn’t even sit up without passing out. And once I was finally moved, I was under constant watch from the nurses. They were in at least every 5 or so minutes checking for bleeding and other complications.

My recovery from the delivery was hard, really hard. I had follow up appointments and ultrasounds for the next 6-9 months, making sure that any remaining tissue had dissolved.

Luckily it did on its own. Once I was home, I discovered that I was one of the lucky ones. I started talking to friends and family who work in the medical field, and I discovered just how serious things could have been. Many women with this condition, end up having an emergency hysterectomy, losing a lot of blood and there is also a risk of dying from the hemorrhaging. I have read many, many stories of survivors that make me feel so fortunate that my situation wasn’t worse.

I hope that by sharing my story, that I can educate moms to trust their instincts regarding pregnancy. You know your body better than anyone. If you feel as though something is off, talk to your doctor and push until you get an answer. Placenta Accreta is a scary condition, but early detection can help your doctor know to monitor your pregnancy more carefully and hopefully prevent some of the more serious complications of this condition.

Advice for New Moms I don’t know what it is, but I have been realizing lately how little time I have with my kids before they will be all grown up and on their own. I’ve been a mom of BOYS for 11 years! That is unbelievable to me and time has flown. I never expected to be a mom of all boys and, to be honest, it hasn’t always been easy to figure things out as I’ve gone along. As I look back at the past 11 years I realize that I have grown as a mother and that there are so many things I wish I could go back in time and tell myself as a first time mom. So, here is my list of advice I wish I could give to myself as a new mom. These things might be slightly different than what you would tell yourself, but I hope new, and not so new, moms can find some inspiration here too and realize that they’re doing a great job!

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It’s okay if motherhood doesn’t come naturally. You have just stepped into a completely new role and it’s okay to be scared and feel inadequate. Don’t worry, you’ll find the mother that is inside of you.

Read books for ideas but remember that you will know what’s best for your baby and always follow your instincts. There is not a single book written that has all the answers.

You will be surrounded by ‘experts’ everywhere you go but in reality no one person is an expert on raising YOUR baby. Take all advice with a grain of salt and don’t feel guilty if you turn down advice.

Don’t take parenting too seriously. Learn to laugh in the beginning because I can promise you that things get more difficult and complex as the kids get older. You will definitely need a sense of humor! (Oh, by the way, did I mention that you might just end up with 4 boys?

Yep, you will need that sense of humor!)

It’s okay to cry. That diaper change that resulted in baby shooting his business across the room and down the wall, yes, that will be funny one day. I get it, today is not that day, but someday soon, that will be funny. Cry it out and then move on.

Don’t wish away the baby years. Snuggle as much as you can and breathe in that yummy baby smell and kisses while they last. It is gone way too fast!

Remember that every baby is different. Try not to compare your baby’s progress to anyone other baby and don’t stress out if your baby doesn’t progress exactly by the books.

And as more babies come into your home, they will be completely different than their older siblings. Embrace their differences!

Don’t get discouraged by “mommy wars”. There is no perfect mother out there but there sure are a lot who think they are perfect. Don’t let anyone make you feel like less of a mother because you parent differently than they do.

And, don’t judge other moms who make different parenting decision than you do. All moms are just trying to do the best they can and being a mom is HARD!

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You will lose the baby weight but you won’t lose it tomorrow…or even next week…or even next month. Don’t be hard on yourself! And DON’T compare yourself to other moms who seem to lose it instantly. Everyone is different and that’s okay. You just grew a human being inside of you. That is pretty amazing and pretty hard on a body! Your body may never be the same but the reward you got in exchange is one you will never regret.

And, don’t judge your worth based on the number you see on the scale. It’s a number, nothing else.

It’s okay to mess up. In fact, I give you permission to mess up so that you can learn and grow and become the mom that you want to be. Your kids will forgive you. Just do your best!

Don’t be hard on your husband. He’s new to this parenting thing too so figure things out together with a lot of give and take.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help and don’t feel like you are in this mothering game alone.

Have a go-to woman that you can call. Someone who has been in your shoes and who understands that sometimes you just need to cry, but at the same time can give you the gentle nudge that you need to move on and try again. Being a mom is the hardest thing you will ever do!

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You will feel like a failure at times. Remember that because there will be really, really hard days so be prepared for tears. There will be days where you don’t want to leave your room.

Days where being a mom is just too hard. You will have days where your patience is thin and you feel like you can’t do it anymore. Don’t give up on yourself or on your kids. They really are pretty amazing but they will have bad days too.

Cherish everyday. Those awful, frustrating days will be followed by moments in time that will take your breathe away due to the gratitude you feel for the person you have become and the family that you are blessed with. You will look at your life and realize that you wouldn’t trade the chaos, noise and messy house for anything in the world. Cherish those fleeting moments.

Don’t be too hard on your oldest child. There will come a time when you think you just want him to grow up or act older. Resist that urge to try to turn him into a person that he isn’t ready to become yet. He will get there and he will be wonderful and amazing, but don’t be too hard on him Just because younger siblings come along shouldn’t mean that he doesn’t get to still be little. Give him lots of extra love, especially when he is being difficult, because it is those moments when he needs you the most.

Take time for yourself! I can’t emphasize this enough. Find something that renews your spirit and make sure to do it on a daily basis.

Don’t forget that before you became a mom, you were a woman with interests, talents, dreams and aspirations. Yes, some of those things will be put on hold due to being in a different season of your life, but don’t give up on them. There will be a day when you get to pull them back out.

Make holidays magical for your kids but don’t lose your mind in the process. Your kids will always remember the feelings they have during the holidays so start fun family traditions ….but don’t feel like you have to jump on every holiday craze, fad, or ‘elf’ that comes your way. Make your own traditions with your family.

You will find that you love your children with a love that you never knew before and that you can’t describe. It’s the type of love that makes you know that you would do anything to protect them.

Protect your kids at all costs but also know when to step back and let them take on their own battles. This will be really hard for you to do but will help you both to grow.

Don’t let worrying control your life. Once you bring children into the world, any anxiety that you once had will be multiplied with each child. Make sure that you don’t let that anxiety take over. Stay on top of it and take care of yourself. It’s okay to recognize that you might need help in learning how to deal with it. Never be afraid to ask for help. Your kids deserve a happy, healthy mom.

Expect the unexpected. I can tell you right now, that life will not go as planned, but, it will be amazing. So be flexible and don’t be surprised when you take sudden unexpected turns.

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Appreciate a clean bathroom now while you still can. You might be raising boys someday. đ&#x;™‚ Don’t forget to pray for strength and guidance every single day.

Try not to stress out over things that don’t matter. Just do your best and things will work out.

Being a mother is the most rewarding, beautiful job you will ever have. You only have your kids in your home for a short time so make the most of it and don’t take that time for granted. Stop and play games. Get on the floor and do puzzles and play with cars. Be silly and have fun and don’t let outside distractions take you away from the people who matter most in your life. They are looking at you and patterning their life after the things they see you doing so make sure you are living a life that you would want them to exemplify. And last but not least: Carry on! I promise you the best is yet to come! You’ll look back at those years of raising little babies and wonder how you made it through. But you will be amazed at the people your children are growing into and the amount of love you have for each of them.

Conscious Life Magazine

Conscious Life Magazine

FLU, SORE THROATS & COLLOIDAL SILVER

By Helen Hansen I recently went on a most wonderful, rejuvenating holiday with family to Nature’s Valley in the Garden Route. This is such a special place in my heart. Beach walks, short hikes, dog runs, sunrise walk and even a full moon walk at 3.30am! These all filled my soul and brought me back home feeling nourished and ready to continue with 2019.

The 8 hour journey was scenically beautiful while also uncomfortable, not because there were 4 people plus hound in 1 car, but because I was driving with flu. I wouldn’t recommend it. When there is a holiday planned nothing must stop it. My son was so worried we were not going to go.

Subsequently I got tea, hot water bottles and even a steam in bed. He then made his own supper, fed the animals and cleaned the kitchen! So now I know what to do in future to get the chores done (wink, wink).

Back to the drive … being cooped up in a car with a stuffy head and blocked ears is not fun. I don’t think I would have coped as well as I did if it wasn’t for my first aid. While driving the miss Daisy’s, master chef and furry friend I was armed with lemon water on side and colloidal silver on the other. My first aid kit.

As with my water I like to carry my colloidal silver in glass (did you know the consistency of the mixture changes when in plastic?). The colloidal silver I make is of a medium consistency namely 5-6ppm. I have found through observing different people of different ages and constitutions that this ratio is beneficial for most. I do make higher ratios on request and it ranges between 12-14ppm. One of the reasons the ratios vary depends on the time of the month the mixture is made. I always make colloidal silver when the moon is waxing as the pull of silver off the rods is greater than when the moon is waning.

You can read more about Colloidal Silver and it’s benefits here.

Stockists of TLC Colloidal Silver: 42 on Sonneblom Deli, Bellville Anna Beulah, Contermanskloof Aurora Bookshop, Durbanville Going Natural, Durbanville Soul, Woodstock Orders can be couriered throughout the country.

Excuse me as I take a swig of the good stuff.

Cheers!

ABOUT HELEN HANSEN WELLNESS PRACTITIONER Holistic Psychology Kinesiology Nutritional Assessments Distance Healing Crystal Therapy Perspective Power Skills Bach Flower Remedies Energy Healing Chakra Balancing

When good cells go bad Free radicals made simple

by Judy Beyer

Your body is a brilliant, and extraordinarily complex combination of molecules.

Trillions and trillions of them.

They’re the building blocks that make your body work, from your brain to your blood, from your inner organs to your skin. But what happens when they turn rogue?

The molecules in your body contain naturally paired electrons. Sometimes, those electrons split up, and the molecule with the remaining electron becomes dangerous – it wants to replace its missing part. A molecule that lacks an electron is called a free radical, and it will attack anything in its path to achieve its goal.

Free radicals are formed during your body’s everyday functions – digestion, converting blood sugar into energy, using oxygen, and helping to fight the effects of stress, inflammation, bacteria or viruses. When you’re young and healthy, your body deals with those free radicals easily.

However, when you’re exposed to pollution, radiation, cigarette smoke, too much alcohol, or a host of other toxic elements, a larger quantity of free radicals is created. The hormones released by your body when you’re very stressed also produce free radicals. And those unbalanced free radicals on the prowl for a second electron may even steal electrons from healthy cells – thereby setting off a domino effect of damage. Free-radical damage causes premature ageing, and creates inflammation, which can lead to heart, lung, and gastrointestinal diseases, and some cancers. This process is called biological oxidation. Which brings us to…

The dark side of oxygen Here’s news that will leave you breathless: oxygen can be toxic. We need oxygen for life, of course, because every cell in your body requires oxygen to produce energy. But a small amount of the O2 you absorb can also form part of a damaging organism. Think of a cut apple. Leave it standing on a counter and the flesh will turn brown – that’s down to the presence of oxygen.

Like that apple, your body is affected by oxygen molecules that merge with other natural compounds to form oxygen-containing free radicals. Your body tries to keep these rogue molecules in check, but when levels rise too high, you experience a condition scientists call oxidative stress. We all experience some oxidative stress, but when it’s prolonged, it can damage your DNA and other important molecules in your body, and increase your risk of diseases that include cancer. That’s the reason you need antioxidants.

Antioxidants – the riot police Antioxidants are like little ninjas. They stop free radicals on their tracks by sacrificing or ‘donating’ their own electrons to feed the renegade molecules, but without turning into free radicals themselves. Basically, they render the marauding free radicals harmless. Antioxidants also destroy toxic metals in the body by literally ‘hugging’ them to block any chemical action taking place.

Where do you find antioxidants?

Your body produces its own antioxidant defenses to keep free radicals in check. But as your body ages, its natural antioxidant production slows down, so it’s important to top up your levels by eating a wide range of antioxidant-rich foods – especially lots of locally grown fresh organic fruit and vegetables.

Get fresh with your diet Fortunately, many foods, especially fresh fruits and vegetables, are bursting with phytochemicals that act as potent antioxidants. The best of these are berries, nuts and seeds, pomegranates, leafy greens such as cabbage, spinach and broccoli, green tea, and grains such as quinoa and barley. Spices and herbs such as allspice, cloves, turmeric, cinnamon, rosemary and origanum are also good sources of antioxidants.

But when choosing what’s for dinner, remember that antioxidants work best when combined.

So eat a wide range of foods rather than just lots of one.

Here’s a short list of the most powerful antioxidant vitamins, minerals and other phytonutrients you’d do well to consume daily: •

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Beta-carotene supports vision, immunity, and overall health, and helps fight certain cancers.

It’s the pigment responsible for the red-orange colour in carrots, peppers, oranges, pumpkin, cayenne pepper, and other brightly coloured fruits, herbs and spices, and vegetables.

Vitamin C (citrus fruit, kiwi, guavas, salad peppers, chilli peppers, parsley and broccoli) helps prevent and treat heart disease, arthritis and some cancers.

Vitamin D builds bone, muscle, and immune system health. Find it in oily fish such as tuna and salmon, fortified foods such as Vitamin D-enriched dairy products and orange juice, beef liver, cheese and egg yolks.

Vitamin E helps ward off heart disease, dementia and cataracts. It protects cell membranes against oxidative damage. Olive oil is a good source, as are nuts, seeds, leafy greens and whole grains.

Polyphenols. These compounds found in soya, red wine, cranberries, blueberries, Brazil nuts, mint, turmeric, ginger, cayenne, black pepper, tea) help protect blood vessels from rupture or leakage, enhance the power of vitamin C, and fight inflammation.

Remember: Freshly harvested fruits and vegetables have a far more potent antioxidant content than those that have lain on supermarket shelves for a few days. So try to consume the majority of your fruits and vegetables raw and locally harvested.

Take supplements If you feel your diet may not be supplying the antioxidants you need for optimum health, take a good quality antioxidant vitamin supplement and other supplements that contain additional phytonutrients from herbs, plants and algae.

Reduce your intake of sugar and processed foods Sugar, and processed foods (which are high in preservatives, salts, saturated and trans fats) can lead to increased oxidative stress. They place stress on your body’s natural antioxidants, making them work harder to combat the bad stuff.

Exercise Yes, exercise can also help to increase your antioxidants. Although exercise is regarded as a form of stress and releases free radicals, short bursts of high-intensity exercise will help improve your body’s capacity to produce antioxidants to fight them. Keep it balanced though – excessive exercise can lead to increased oxidative stress and inflammation.

And the best news? Foods that are good for you are pretty delicious too. Pay attention to what you eat and how you treat your body, and you could live a long, healthy, and productive life.

Sources: Arnarson, A. Antioxidants explained in simple terms.

Healthline.

July 2019. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/antio xidants-explained Gage, E.N. The lowdown on free radicals.

Real Simple, Aug 2014. https://www.realsimple.com/beautyfashion/skincare/lowdown-on-free-radicals Giada, Maria de Lourdes Reis. Food phenolic compounds: Main classes, sources and their antioxidant power. IntechOpen. May 2013. https://www.intechopen.com/books/oxidati ve-stress-and-chronic-degenerative-diseasesa-role-for-antioxidants/food-phenoliccompounds-main-classes-sources-and-theirantioxidant-power What are antioxidants and why do we need them.

Flora Force.

July 2014. https://www.floraforce.co.za/what-areantioxidants/

JUDY BEYER

Eternally curious about people and the planet, and the effect of each on the other, Judy has been in the publishing/writing/editing game for years.

Trying to walk her talk, she's a keen advocate of living and eating healthily, listening to our bodies, reconnecting with the environment, and taking time to experience Africa's wide spaces. Her time-out drugs of choice are reading, and knitting garments in rainbow colours.

RAISING CONSCIOUS CHILDREN

By Helen Hansen

I’ll get straight to it. Conscious children need conscious parents.

The old adage of “Do as you’re told, not as I do” does not cut it for the children of todays world. If this does not work, what does?

Here are 3 crucial steps to creating conscious behaviour in your child.

Let go of the past Children need adults who can show them how to let go of the past. If your child has been in a state of apathy/aggression/resistance/….. (fill in your child’s state) to you or anyone else what s/he needs is a new framework. Think about what will benefit your child instead. Now, imagine your child being this way. What will s/he be doing or saying and how will this make you feel.

Visualisation is a powerful component to turning thoughts into reality. When you start seeing your child in a new way, soon this will be passed on to the child and this frequency will be converted from energy into matter. All it takes is two minutes to start the process and then to replay the visuals throughout the day whenever you have a spare moment, such as going to the bathroom, driving, walking from one room to another.

Instil uplifting beliefs Children who are raised by adults with beliefs of compassion will be compassionate. Those raised with the belief that there is only one winner will find self worth if they are number one.

As conscious parents we need to carefully consider the messages we are relaying to our children through our words and actions. Take a moment to consider your belief patterns and how they affect your child. Choose a pattern that could do with upgrading. How can you change this within yourself? For example, if you practice Reactive Bribery to get your child to cooperate, you could replace this with Conscious Consequences. In other words, instead of reacting to your child’s behaviour with “If you don’t ….., then you won’t …..!” you can talk to your child when you are both calm and lay down the rules. Explain why the rules are there and how it will benefit the child. Then, and this is the tricky part, stick to them. If you have said you will allow one warning only then stick to it, otherwise your child will not take you seriously in the future.

Have fun!

Children learn through play. Different ages have different types of play but no matter the age, play is an essential part of learning during the childhood years. Include yourself in play with your child everyday. This will allow you to communicate with your child on a different level. As much as possible, incorporate gross motor movement into the activity. Raising your heartbeat for a few minutes everyday is great way to release toxins of both an emotional and physical nature. Research shows that children whose parents play with them regularly find it easier to listen and follow through instructions.

No matter what your or your child’s current situation is, remember the wise words of Dr. Wayne Dyer, “You can guide your children toward becoming compassionate, heart-centred adults who lead fulfilling ‘no-limits’ lives”.

ABOUT HELEN HANSEN WELLNESS PRACTITIONER Holistic Psychology Kinesiology Nutritional Assessments Distance Healing Crystal Therapy Perspective Power Skills Bach Flower Remedies Energy Healing Chakra Balancing

4 Takeaways from Parenting a Child with Extreme Behavior #1 – Be an advocate for your child.

If you feel something in your gut, if you feel like your child should be doing x instead of y, if you feel like XYZ is having an impact on the behavior, but your pediatrician doesn't see it and is kind of rolling her eyes at you, go with your gut.

Be an advocate for your child.

The first time I felt the absolute need & sense of urgency to be an advocate for my was when he was nearly 3 years old. We were at pediatric urologist's office, a visit that resulted from a referral I demanded from our pediatrician (and she thought I was nuts). My son was regressing with his toileting and his behavior was becoming more and more extreme. I felt the two behaviors were connected.

This doctor did not want to waste time with us. I had to understand that this urologist is dealing with 8, 9, 10-year olds who are having accidents and have some serious physical & emotional issues as a result. Bottom line: I went to this urologist because I didn't want my son to have those same issues.

I said, “Listen. I feel like he's not … I feel like he's regressed in his toileting and it's negatively impacting his behavior.”

She, kind of, okay, she literally laughed at me.

Then I talked to her for a minute longer, and she realized, “Okay, this girl knows what she's talking about.” I advocated, “I would like an abdominal X-ray. I need to know what's going on inside my baby's body.”

She might as well have rolled her eyes, “It's really not necessary.”

I begged, “Please. Please, do this for him.”

She's pushed back, “Well, you're probably going to be waiting all day to get the x-ray.”

I responded, “I don't care. I don't care.” So, hours passed, the x-ray eventually happened, and I got the bittersweet phone call.

I was right.

My son had a football-sized mass of poo in his little 3-year-old body.

#2 – It's a family affair.

It's not only about your child.

It's not only about you.

It's not only about you and your child.

It's not only about your child and his siblings.

It's about your relationship with your other children.

It's about your relationship with your partner.

No person is an island. Right?

The process of helping your child has to be something that your entire family owns. It doesn't have to be something that your child feels badly about and carries on his shoulders alone.

My husband and I have never kept our son in the dark. We never kept our struggles private.

Our son was always part of the solution.

My husband and I were always part of the solution.

My child's siblings have always been part of the solution.

Recently, my middle child skipped the second grade. He has a fourth-grade brother. So his grade acceleration was going to impact his brother in a pretty big way. His brother was not happy about it. His brother didn't want to answer questions from people. He didn't want his brother to be that much closer to his space. I got all that, but we needed to be really proactive about it and to address it upfront so that we would be able to handle the issues that would come up down the line.

So we all own it.

I own it.

My husband owns it.

His siblings own it.

My child owns it and my child's siblings own it.

We're all in this together. It's a family affair.

#3 – Extreme behaviors are opportunities.

The extreme behaviors are what makes your child amazing, unique, and what gives your child superhero powers.

These are the kids that are going to change the world.

These are the kids that are going to go against the grain.

They're going to create things.

They're going to do good in the world.

We have always viewed my son's behavior in that way, no matter how bad, how ugly it has gotten. I've always viewed his extreme behavior so as not to squash those qualities that will make him a successful, amazing adult.

This point is all about the behavior swap, a way to think about the behavior differently. Here are a few examples: Your child is super bossy = Your child is a leader.

Your child has a one track mind = Your child has conviction and knows how to make decisions and advocate for himself or his peers.

Your child is overly sensitive = Your child has a high emotional intellect & feels the world around him in profound ways.

I view my job as the parent to find ways to help a child manage those extreme qualities, help a child massage those qualities so that they're used in ways that bring success, joy, happiness, meaning, purpose, calm. and confidence in life today and life as an adult.

Flip the lid on how you describe those behaviors, not as challenges, but as opportunities. View the behavior not as obstacles but as gifts.

#4 – The solution is holistic in nature.

This challenge is not black and white. The solution is not a one and done application. There's not going to be one parenting approach that is going to be the magic pill for you and your child.

Literally, there is not going to be one medication that's going to solve it all. There's not gonna be a single course that solves all your family's problems. Finding a way of life and learning that works for your family doesn't happen overnight.

I view it as an à la carte. Read as much as you can. See what works for your family and what doesn't work for your family, and take a step forward. Rinse & repeat.

Find a support network. Don't view it just as cognitive behavior and coping skills. The challenging behavior is likely driven by a myriad of factors. Physiologically, eating, sleeping, so on.

Maybe your child isn't sleeping well?

Maybe you need to get your child to be monitored while he or she is sleeping? Maybe he's never in deep sleep, that could seriously impact his behavior at school, and his ability to learn, and so on.

Diet, for example, could potentially be a huge driver. We had our middle son's gut tested. It was a huge move and the results were eye-opening. We discovered that our son's body wasn't absorbing iron and zinc. So, no matter how much iron he had to eat, his body was not absorbing iron, which is directly related to mood regulation. In addition, his body wasn't absorbing zinc.

The copper to zinc ratio is directly related to mood regulation, depression, anxiety, etc. The bacteria in your gut speak directly to the neurotransmitters in your brain.

This was another example of having to be an advocate for my son. When I demanded various tests from my pediatrician, she's responded, “Oh, I've been practicing for 20 years, and I've never had a child with low zinc…” Not to mention that her assistant had to look up some of the tests.

The results came back and our pediatric nutrionist was spot on. So, we went on a 14-week protocol, eight weeks to clean up his belly, and the last six weeks were to supplement his body with the minerals that he had not been getting, the iron and the zinc. We saw immediate changes in his behavior.

So my point is, the “solution” is holistic. It's a system. It's a process that involves many factors: cognitive behavior therapy, coping skills, parent coaching, diet, sleep, emotional & social intellect, cognitive intellect, family, community, and so on.

Most of us who are parenting children that are particularly difficult often feel lonely and isolated. I can't emphasize the importance of finding a community and support system to share information and to learn as much as you possibly can to help your child.

To conclude, 1) be an advocate for your child, 2) it's a family affair, 3) view the challenging behaviors as opportunities, and 4) the solution is holistic in style.

OUR SHARED HERITAGE; INDIGENOUS MEDICINAL PLANTS

By Down to Earth

It’s finally Spring in the southern hemisphere! And in South Africa we’re also celebrating Heritage Month in September.

While we celebrate our rich and varied cultural heritage, we also have the opportunity to appreciate the unique indigenous plant life that we share in our country. What better way to start the new season?

South Africa is the third most bio-diverse country in the world. Our treasured national plant, the king protea, and the unique looking strelitzia comes to mind as well-known and beautiful indigenous plants of South Africa. Just as impressive, is the wide range of medicinal plants in our region; plants that have been used by local cultures for over five centuries to treat and heal many common ailments.

Indigenous medicinal plants of Southern Africa The potency and healing properties in many of our indigenous plants have been recognised by international pharmacological, skincare and food industries. Extracts of these plants are found in many herbal medicines and skincare products. Needless to say, many of these plants are also found in our gardens and can be put to use!

Some of the better-known medicinal plants and some of their traditional uses include: • •

African ginger (Siphonochilus aethiopicus) has been used to relieve sinusitis and asthma, as well as reduce fevers associated with colds and influenza.

African potato (Hypoxis hemerocallidea) is used traditionally to assist with bladder and prostate problems, arthritis and skin conditions like psoriasis.

Conscious Life Magazine

• • • • • • • • •

African wormwood (Artemisia afra) is applied on acne and boils, and helps relieve stomach pain and fever.

Aloe ferox, also known as the bitter aloe, is used to treat sunburn and skin irritation, and as a laxative.

Buchu (Agathosma betulina) has been used to assist with digestive issues and is applied topically for wound healing.

Bulbinella (Bulbine frutescens), also known as burn jelly plant, is applied topically to relieve burns, bites and abrasion, and to treat infections.

Devil’s claw (Harpagophytum procumbens) is applied directly to the skin to treat sores, ulcers, boils and abscesses.

Honeybush tea (Cyclopia genistoides) is used as a restorative health tonic.

Hoodia gordonii, also known as Bushman’s hat, is used as an appetite suppressant.

Rooibos tea (Aspalathus linearis) is applied topically to treat eczema and is used as a health tonic.

Sutherlandia frutescens, also known as the cancer bush, is used to treat cancer, and a variety other ailments such as chicken pox, influenza and bladder complaints.

We would like to bring to your attention two indigenous medicinal plants, used in some of Down to Earth’s products.

African potato (Hypoxis hemerocallidea) African potato extract is used in our trusted African Potato Cream, as well as the Revive Cleanser and Revive Moisturiser.

It is a very hardy and drought resistant plant that grows in the summer rainfall regions of South Africa. It has bright yellow starshaped flowers and hairy straplike leaves.

Traditional healers have used it as a muthi to treat a variety of ailments such as diabetes, infections, bladder and prostate problems, and even epilepsy.

We use the extract for its potent anti-inflammatory properties. The active ingredient, hypoxoside, is extracted from the tuberous root which looks like a potato. It has very high phytosterol content that delivers the anti-inflammatory properties. The action is similar to cortisone which helps to soothe aches, pains and swelling, and can assist in the reversal of tissue damage. It also acts as powerful antioxidant which has an anti-ageing effect on the skin.

Bulbinella (Bulbine frutescens) Bulbinella is used on our Refresh Cleanser and Refresh Moisturiser.

It is a common, drought-resistant succulent in many gardens. It has fleshy, jelly-like linear leaves and long flower stems with clusters of small, yellow or orange flowers.

Traditionally the gel from the leaves is applied to cuts, grazes, burns, acne, insect bites, blisters, rashes and chapped lips to help soothe and heal the area. It is also used to effectively prevent and treat infections. Bulbinella is one of the main active ingredients in our Refresh Skincare products precisely for these reasons. It reduces bacteria that causes acne, soothes itching and redness, and helps to accelerate repair of the skin barrier function.

By using Down to Earth products, you have access to these beneficial medicinal plants and also to a South African tradition that has been passed down through generations; to use the local plants to help heal and repair our bodies.

How do you discipline a 3-year-old without shutting him down? To put it another way, how do you discipline a child in a way that he actually learns something from the experience? That is the question I asked myself again and again as a new parent. Then I discovered Montessori and positive parenting.

Turns out Montessori and positive parenting approach to discipline and communication have a lot in common. For example, respecting the child, a keen eye on developing social & emotional intelligence, and an attitude that failure is a part of the learning process.

Lucky for me, without even knowing it, my husband curated a list of responses akin to those responses offered by parenting experts to help adults better respond to kids during tough moments. Positive discipline responses are not as easy as they first may appear. Although this is not the first time my husband has organically come up with effective parenting responses. I am one lucky lady.

What is Positive Discipline?

We should take a step back to ask “what is positive discipline?� This approach is about non-punitive approaches to discipline. It seems a bit backward but if we take on a different approach, one that is more focused on helping the child with selfdiscipline, the child and the parent greatly benefit. Positive discipline is not about control or the short-term. We need to step back to understand what the children are feeling and what is behind the behavior.

The woman in this video is Jane Nelsen, a pioneer in the positive discipline approach. She outlines 5 criteria for positive discipline: • • • • •

Be kind, yet firm Help children feel a sense of belonging & significance Focused on long-term, not just short-term Valuable social & life skills including conflict resolution and problem-solving Helping the child develop a sense of ownership & personal responsibility. In other words, a child comes to realize she is capable of managing her emotions and carrying herself throughout life.

Positive Parenting Responses How do we get kids to listen? I have a few ideas for you to tuck away in your back pocket, to practice communicating with kids. Over time, these responses will seem like second nature to you. I promise.

How to Respond to Kids Effectively Ranking up there with communicating with a toddler and helping kids resolve conflict, this question is tough and rightfully so. I do have a few ideas to share with you that work well in our home. Let me know how they work for you!

Respond to Kids with these rock star phrases and you are on your way to communicating better than ever! Communicating with kids is tough. Learn more about five responses that work to communicate with kids more effectively during challenging moments.

I am not the perfect parent but I try really hard. I read a lot and take in advice from many friends and family members. So, here are five effective responses (honed down from much more) that I've tested with my sons.

Positive Parenting & Getting Kids to Listen #1 – Put an End to Potty Talk “Do heroes say ‘stupid'?” My husband rocks this one. My boys are obsessed with heroes in myths, especially. So my husband says to them, ‘talk like a hero.' It works. #2 – On Not Giving Up “You are good at hard things.” What child doesn't have trouble when he reaches a challenge? Most do. My husband also coined this one. Reminding our children that it is okay to be afraid when tackling hard things in life, but that hard things are worth embracing is key. #3 – Help Me, Help You “We are problem solvers in this family.” So we've stumbled upon an obstacle. ‘Mom, I can't do this…I need your help.' Are we adults always going to put that puzzle piece in its right spot or wedge that Lego to fit just right? If we give our children the opportunity to solve their own problems, they'll not only learn that ‘skill' but they'll gain a huge amount of self-confidence. Tough to beat that result.

Model the patience required to finish a task or creatively problem-solve with your children by asking them questions. For example, a few weeks ago my 3-year-old was having trouble getting into a bouncy house. He was frustrated and asked for my help. So I asked him: ‘what if you stood back a bit and got a running start?' Sure enough, he made it on his second try. #4 – “Telling On” Other Kids “You need to go speak to him about it. Would you like me to come with you?” or “What did he say when you let him know how it made you feel?” My biggest pet peeve is the tattletale. Kids always seem to whine directly and immediately to the nearest adult. Encouraging children to speak directly to their peer about the behavior may be daunting for the child. So, at first, guide him by saying: ‘let him know that you didn't like it when he hit you. Ask him nicely to not hit again, or maybe just say, ‘No, thank you.' Also, asking the child ‘that's sounds rough. How did J feel when you told him how that made you feel?'

#5 – Lack of Empathy

“You're a kind person. Kind people do not treat others in that way.” I speak truthfully. My sons are kind people. Let's be honest, most children are kind at heart.

What they are not naturally is empathetic. The world seems to revolve around each and every one of them for what seems like an eternity. Here is the thing, though, we adults can guide children and model empathy. I remind my sons that they are kind.

Then I ask them “how they would feel if…” and “how do you think she feels after you called her ‘stupid'?” They stop and they think about…that moment of reflection is enough to nurture emotional development.

Positive Parenting Resources that Help Me Stay Calm • • • • • •

Journal to write out my thoughts & the most amazing pen in the universe Any of Amanda Reuter's Parenting Courses for Moms Drink a nice, warm cup of tea No Drama Discipline by Dan Seigel Positive Parenting by Jane Nelsen Positive Things to Say to Your Child During Negative Moments

I’m Watching My Son Become A Man Right now, my 14-year-old son’s room smells like a giant chicken nugget and I cannot find the source of the smell. At this point in motherhood, I’m just not going searching for it. That’s what air freshener is for.

When parenting teen boys, there comes a time in every mother’s life when you wonder—are you really just raising frat boys? Do they mind sleeping on their old pizza boxes? Is smelling the shirt they find on the floor just a clever variation on doing laundry? And what kind of man am I raising? Will I one day visit him and his family to find an entire bathroom filled with old toilet paper rolls because he is too lazy to change the roll?

At those moments, I take a breath. Because it is in those moments that I remember that I have to watch.

I watch for the moments when my heart swells, and I know okay, he won’t smell like chicken nuggets forever.

I watch for how he is around his little cousins or nieces or nephews—or a new baby. The gentle smile he gives, or the way he lets the younger kids chase him around. He is already showing what kind of dad he might be, not that I am in any sort of rush! But I see how he gets down on one knee so he is eye to eye with them. I see him play peek-a-boo, or how he carries them, a mixture of pride and love on his face.

I watch for the way he loves on the family dogs and cat. He gently pulls ticks from our thickcoated Aussie in spring and works on the “down” command with our rescue pit bull until she gets it, no matter how many times she tries to wriggle and jump up. Somehow, this kid who will wrestle with his best friends until they are quite literally crashing into the walls of my den, will be the gentlest giant with our pets. Capable of being oh-so-careful with furry friends? Check.

Not a total mutant.

I watch when I am very sick with the flu, how he comes in occasionally to check that I am still breathing. I know part of it is that he’s worried about who will feed him and do his laundry if I drop dead. Nonetheless, the fact that he came in twice during my last bout of flu and asked, “Should you go to the hospital?” shows me he does, actually, care if I survive.

I watch how he cooks his own ramen—or whatever meal he now knows how to make. I am confident that he can manage, should the need arise, to make himself some sort of sustenance.

In fact, he is becoming handy enough with both tools and cooking that should the zombie apocalypse happen, I want him around.

I watch when he speaks to an elderly person with a polite, “Yes, ma’am” or “Yes, sir.” Manners!

Something I have nagged him about has actually penetrated into his reptilian brain. He says please and thank you—unprompted—too!

It can seem, sometimes, like I am raising a Neanderthal. It’s enough to make a mama worry.

But then I watch. And I am certain he’s becoming a man I admire, one I’m almost ready to turn loose on the world—air freshener included.

Erica Orloff Erica Orloff is freelance writer and novelist based in Virginia. She is mom of four, a fanatical Yankees fan, and a collector of Buddha statues. Follow her on Twitter: @ericaorloff.

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My Husband and I Disagree About When my Son Should Work

By Christine Burke – Keeper of the Fruit Loops I can distinctly remember my first job interview. I was fresh out of high school and was hoping to make extra money during the summer to pay for college. I scheduled an interview at a local temp agency and was hired to do secretarial work in offices in my area. On my first day of work, I felt like a big deal in my 90s-style business suit. I quickly learned that that I’d be spending my summer making copies, filing, and ensuring the coffee pot never ran dry.

I worked long hours for the temp agency because my parents were adamant about me focusing on my studies while I was in college. They did not want me to juggle a job and my heavy nursing school course load. At the time, I felt lucky that I didn’t have to dash off to wait tables after a grueling day of nursing clinical. And, when it came time for me to get my first job after college, I felt more than prepared to be professional on the job.

Not working during the school year in high school or college didn’t affect my ability to adapt to my adult financial responsibilities. And now that my son is a teenager, I feel the same way about his school life experience.

I want him to be able to focus on his grades, join clubs, and be dedicated to sports and activities without having the additional strain of a part-time job.

My husband feels otherwise.

My husband was not very involved in high school activities. He had a part-time job from the time he was fourteen. First he worked as a cashier in a grocery store and then later as a clerk in an auto parts store. He paid for his car insurance and bought his own car with the money he saved from his jobs.

I’ve often wondered aloud how things would have been different if his parents hadn’t insisted that he work during high school. And our different philosophies, based on how we were raised, has caused some friction between us as we’ve tried to work out what’s best for our teens.

It’s hard to find a common ground when we both feel our parents made the right choice. I appreciate that my parents protected me from the adult realities of paying bills and demanding bosses for as long as they could. And my husband is grateful that he learned customer service skills, as well as what financial independence feels like, early on.

We’re realizing there is no one right choice when it comes to raising teens.

As we’ve heatedly discussed our stances over the last few months, it dawned on us that we hadn’t actually asked the one person our decision affected: our son.

We were trying to make a decision without his input. And, since our son is 16, he’s clearly able to make choices about the demands on his time.

So, we asked him. And his answer surprised me.

Our son wants to work because he knows how good it feels to make money for a job well done.

He’s mowed lawns, taken care of neighborhood pets, and done odd jobs like painting and yard work. But, he told us, “I want to learn how to have a real job. I want to learn how to be like you and Dad when it comes to money.”

I stopped looking at a part-time job as a punishment. I realized that, for our son, a job represents his growing independence. He wants us to help him along the way, and he’s asked us about budgeting his time and his new paychecks.

While I still have reservations about how a job will fit into his high school schedule, we’ve agreed to work together to figure it out. I’ve compromised by letting him get a job and my husband has agreed his school week hours should be kept to a minimum, with more hours on the weekend. Our son has agreed to let us know if he’s feeling overwhelmed or like he can’t manage his schoolwork.

When my son completed his job application, he looked at me and beamed. “I promise to take you out to dinner with my first paycheck, Ma,” he said.

This part-time job thing might just have perks after all.

Help! My child is being bullied at school Navigating a world of people can be more challenging that climbing the most treacherous of mountains! Cindy Glass, Director and Cofounder of Step Up Education Centres says “As people, we are governed by emotions, and, unless kept in check, negative emotions can lead to negative behaviours that are detrimental to others as well as to ourselves.

Bullying is a national epidemic and the harmful effects on a bullied child can last a lifetime. If you can remember that we can only give to others how we feel about ourselves, we will understand that someone who has a need to hurt another is hurting himself!�

Cindy goes onto say “As people, we are also like magnets. We unconsciously attract into our lives, people who reinforce how we feel about ourselves! Bullies, who have low self-esteem, tend to target children who have low self-esteem! Both parties deal with a lack of self-esteem or self-worth in their own way and both need assistance in changing this! And, herein, lies the first and most important key to stamping out bullying- improving confidence and self- value!”

Cindy’s top tips for dealing with bullying: 1.

Help your child by becoming his safe-place. Ensure that you always have a non-judgmental ear to listen and a supportive shoulder to lean on! Help your child to reclaim his/her power.

Within each of us is the power to make positive choices. We can choose to internalise the words or actions of a bully or we can choose to stay detached and not allow these negative behaviours to determine who we are!

2.

Teach your child that it is not ok to be treated badly by others. Do not ignore incidents of bullying in the hope that it will just go away. The lower your child’s sense of self becomes, the more intensely he/she is likely to be bullied! Remember that we cannot control the behavioural choices of others but we can control how we react to them.

3.

Consider enrolling your child into activities which build confidence. A confident child is less likely to be preyed upon by a bully. Try drama, sports, scouts, dancing, art, debating etc.

4.

If your child shows signs of being physically hurt by bullies, you will need to ask the teacher or even principal for help.

5.

Do not confront the bully yourself. This will most likely fuel the bully into expanding his attack on your child. Confronting the parents of the bully can lead to negative outcomes because of the intense emotions that both parties are likely to feel.

6.

Schools need to focus on teaching children emotional intelligence skills. Remember, it is the bullied child as well as the bully who need support in developing positive self-worth.

Cindy concludes by stating “Bullying is never ok. There are no one-stop-shop solutions to the problem. We cannot ignore these destructive behaviours. Building self-worth is the key to longterm success!”

What to do if your child is the bully & is better than that

By Marnie Craycroft “Do you have a minute to chat?” my son's teacher asked me waving me to come into her classroom.

My stomach dropped as I managed a smile, “Sure!”

She began to tell me a story about a tribe of four boys picking on another, smaller boy in their class.

My son?

Part of the tribe.

My heart sank because I know that behavior would not make my son feel good and because the boy being picked on is a friend.

Social pressures of boys are tricky especially as they are trying to figure out how to navigate the friendship terrain. What feels right may not feel good and fear, as well as panic, overcome kids trying to understand how to like and how to be liked…a child might make a bad decision but that doesn't mean that she is not kind and compassionate. Precisely the opposite, a moment like this one provides an opportunity to teach a child what it means to be a friend and to be empathetic.

So, what is a mom to do when she is told HER son is the one bullying?

I slept on it. I waited for the right time to talk about the situation in a way that was non-threatening and relevant. I didn't want him to be defensive.

I needed to gather information and needed him to open up to me.

Then I needed to find the right words.

My Main Take-Aways from Being the Parent of the Bully WAIT for the right time to have a conversation within context and relevant ROLEPLAY various social scenarios GATHER information with lots of “what about” questions a la Dr. Ross Greene's collaborative problem-solving approach.

ASK questions such as, “What would you do if you were Billy?” Boys are more likely to respond with more words than if asking “How would you feel if…”

Read Leonard Sax's Boys Adrift for more insight into that science.

IDENTIFY role models in your child's class, in books you're reading, and in your family. Toss aside books that degrade the characteristics such as caring about friends, about your family, and about your school life.

BE THE MODEL by being kind and being the one who stands up for the “smaller” child.

Even if you have to exaggerate this modeling, the lesson will still be there…

Why Asking Simple Opened Ended Questions Matters

By Marnie Craycroft It seems that none of us have to work hard to concentrate or to pay attention these days. That is not to say that our attention span or our ability to focus is above average. Quite the contrary, these skills have likely declined since the advent of the smartphone and video games, especially.

I've written in the past about how to encourage scientific thinking and how to encourage, well, thinking, generally with open-ended questions.

Ask Simple Questions This thinking brings me to something I read recently by the author Neil Gaiman about a visit to his young daughter's class. She was seven years old at the time and eventually, a child asked the inevitably “question to ask an author” question. I cannot possibly do Mr. Gaiman's writing justice so I've included the excerpt below but be sure to read up on Neil Gaiman blog, his online journal really. Fantastic writings to say the least.

‘Where do you get your ideas?'

And I realized I owed them an answer. They weren't old enough to know any better. And it's a perfectly reasonable question, if you aren't asked it weekly.

This is what I told them:

•

You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time.

The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we're doing it.

•

You get ideas when you ask yourself simple questions. The most important of the questions is just, What if…?

•

(What if you woke up with wings? What if your sister turned into a mouse? What if you all found out that your teacher was planning to eat one of you at the end of term – but you didn't know who?)

•

Another important question is, If only…

•

(If only real life was like it is in Hollywood musicals. If only I could shrink myself small as a button. If only a ghost would do my homework.)

•

And then there are the others: I wonder… (‘I wonder what she does when she's alone…') and If This Goes On… (‘If this goes on telephones are going to start talking to each other, and cut out the middleman…') and Wouldn't it be interesting if… (‘Wouldn't it be interesting if the world used to be ruled by cats?')…

•

Those questions, and others like them, and the questions they, in their turn, pose (‘Well, if cats used to rule the world, why don't they any more? And how do they feel about that?') are one of the places ideas come from.

•

An idea doesn't have to be a plot notion, just a place to begin creating. Plots often generate themselves when one begins to ask oneself questions about whatever the starting point is.

Sometimes an idea is a person (‘There's a boy who wants to know about magic').

Sometimes it's a place (‘There's a castle at the end of time, which is the only place there is…'). Sometimes it's an image (‘A woman, sifting in a dark room filled with empty faces.')

Often ideas come from two things coming together that haven't come together before. (‘If a person bitten by a werewolf turns into a wolf what would happen if a goldfish was bitten by a werewolf? What would happen if a chair was bitten by a werewolf?')

All fiction is a process of imagining: whatever you write, in whatever genre or medium, your task is to make things up convincingly and interestingly and new.

And when you've an idea – which is, after all, merely something to hold on to as you begin – what then?

Well, then you write. You put one word after another until it's finished – whatever it is.

Sometimes it won't work, or not in the way you first imagined. Sometimes it doesn't work at all. Sometimes you throw it out and start again.

When I read this excerpt, I practically jumped up and down with joy and agreement. Our kids need to hear this message, again and again, loud and clear. Parents, Teachers, continue to ask them open-ended questions and encourage them to ask themselves simple questions about the world around them.

Are we in a crisis of creativity?

This thinking reminds me of the books Nurture Shock, which I read the moment it was published in 2009, a few months after my oldest child was born. My husband has worked in technology for decades. Therefore, we are acutely aware of the dangers of devices and screens and all that comes along with them.

My husband, as a technology professional, is not alone in this concern. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs famously admitted that limit their children's time on devices. That should be a red flag. With statistics on addiction, depression, and anxiety increasing rapidly, especially among young boys, we should be on top of this topic for mental health reasons and for creativity reasons.

There has to be a way to utilize and to effectively manage technology use in classrooms and at home. The challenge of creating a technology regulation system that works for a family is huge and isn't going away any time soon.

Definition of the Term Executive Functioning The Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University defines executive function skills as “the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully.� These skills allow us to focus on particular details, prioritize effectively, and enforce delayed gratification to make sure that things get done.

Executive skills aren't innate. While some children have more potential to develop effective executive skills than others, these skills are largely a product of a child's brain chemistry and environment.

Identifying the Gaps & Creating a Plan One of the most important factors in the development of these skills is identifying the gaps in executive function early in a child's life. Once observed, teachers and parents can implement create a plan including activities, exercises, and perhaps outside therapy to assist in a child's development of executive skills.

Related Read: Resources to Help Your Child with Executive Functioning Skills In extreme cases, negative environmental factors can prevent normal brain growth and cause children to exhibit hyperactive or disruptive behaviors. Furthermore, impediments to the normal development of executive functioning in young children can have continuing negative effects throughout a child's developing and adult years, so learning about the symptoms of poor executive functioning and the strategies that can be used to improve this critical developmental factor can help parents and caregivers guide at-risk children back on positive developmental tracks.

It is important to remember that Children are not born with executive function skills. Instead, they are born with the potential to develop these skills.

What Is Executive Function Disorder?

Executive Function Disorder is often associated with attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD). ADHD is considered to be a type of executive function impairment but certainly not every child with executive dysfunction has ADHD. A child may be considered to have EFD when his or her executive functioning skills appear out of sync with her development.

According to the ADD publication ADDitude, children start developing executive functions at age two. These functions continue to develop until age 30. ADDitude estimates that ADHD can delay the development of executive functioning by up to 40 percent, and it's believed that EFD may be linked to poor development in the prefrontal cortex.

Parts of the Brain Impacted by EFD The three main areas involving executive functioning are working memory, self-regulation, and mental flexibility. These three areas are interrelated and affect most areas of the brain. In order for EF to execute effectively, all three areas much work together.

{Source: Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University}

Executive Function Skills There are seven types of skills that are associated with executive function.

These skills are: • • • • • • • •

Self-awareness Self-restraint Non-verbal working memory Verbal working memory Emotional intelligence Self-motivation Planning and problem solving In children with EFD, most or all of these executive skills are inhibited. By using various exercises and techniques, it may be possible to boost or restore executive skills in affected children.

Executive Function Disorder 101 Symptoms & Signs of Executive Function Disorder

While children with ADHD often have trouble paying attention to activities in the present, children with EFD have an inability to plan for the future. Children with this disorder have trouble setting schedules or staying organized, and they may habitually lose personal items.

Some common signs of EFD include: • • • • • •

Not able to effectively analyze a task Failure to develop an effective plan for taking care of a task Inability to plan out specific steps necessary to complete a task Failure to develop reasonable timelines for achieving tasks Unable to adapt to new conditions or adjust procedures when achieving a task Failure to complete tasks on time

Emotional Regulation & EFD In young children, EFD may show itself in the form of angry or frustrated behavior. Young children with EFD may have trouble handling setbacks, and they may throw tantrums over seemingly minimal issues.

Instead of capably expressing their emotions with words or other socially acceptable mediums of expression, children with EFD may act aggressively. They may also be resistant to the normal flow of classroom behavior, and they may stubbornly choose to act on their own impulses rather than follow the established protocols.

As children with executive functioning issues get older and enter grade school, they become highly resistant to any changes in routine. In addition, their organization difficulties become more pronounced.

During middle school and high school, failures to adapt to social norms and implement systems to help with EFD may lead to becoming increasingly socially withdrawn. Additionally, they may engage in risky behaviors. For example, they may have trouble choosing careers or holding down jobs.

What Kids with Executive Dysfunction Need Most • • • • • •

Systems on which to rely Growth Mindset Routines Baby Steps. In other words, celebrating small victories with your child. The development of these skills is not going to happen overnight. Often it takes years, so acknowledge baby steps and lean into positive behavior is a big way for a while Skill Development Below are examples of skills on which to focus.

Here is a short list: • • • • • • • • • • • •

Ability to plan ahead Time management Prioritize tasks Decision making Able to inhibit thoughts & actions, not be impulsive Focus & attention Juggling memory Pivoting Self-starting Follow through Reflectiveness (this is where mindfulness exercises come in really handy) Regulating emotion

Strategies for Kids Most instances of executive function disorder manifest at an early age, so early intervention is important. For example, one of the best ways to help develop skills to combat these challenges is to expose to activities and exercises that will help close gaps. With that said, once it's clear that EFD is interfering with a child's ability to learn and develop socially, it may be useful to enlist the assistance of professionals. For instance, speech therapists, reading tutors, or psychologists test & guide your child. Finally, an executive function test will pinpoint the exact areas that need focus.

In-class behavioral modification techniques, such as daily report cards and token systems, may be effective strategies. Adults might consider the use of external information crutches like cards, smartphone apps, and sticky notes to improve focus and motivation.

Music Matters "Music matters. Encourage your child to listen to all kinds of music and to clap, dance and sing along." —Tim Seldin, How to Raise an Amazing Child From the soft chimes inside their soft, furry toys to the full orchestration of "Carnival of the Animals," children learn how to distinguish different sounds, rhythms, and melodies. The soothing songs of lullabies sung by mom or dad help them feel loved and fall asleep. At the same time, children are learning that putting different notes together forms a tune, just like putting words together forms a thought.

Children unconsciously assimilate and often imitate whatever they come into contact with, which is why it's so important to expose your children to music: Sing to your baby - even if you think you don't have a wonderful voice.

Play music in the car with children and set the mood with classical music, peppy songs, or your favorite show tunes.

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Share the fun of dancing, marching, and singing together as you listen to "Swan Lake," "76 Trombones," or "The Wheels on the Bus.“

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Repeat your favorite songs often to help develop your child's memory.

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Consider playing a particular piece or song at the same time every day to indicate dinner, clean-up, or bed time.

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Listen to all kinds of music. If you play a musical instrument, play it for your child.

Create a rain stick using a paper-towel tube, some rice, and tape.

• •

Match the rhythm of the music with simple musical instruments - a pan and wooden spoon as a drum, two wooden spoons as rhythm sticks, and a rolled-up piece of construction paper as a horn, for example.

•

Lull your child to sleep with your favorite lullaby as you both relax at the end of an active day.

Music and learning go hand in hand. Brain research supports the relationship of a child's increased ability to distinguish sounds through their exposure to nursery rhymes and simple songs. But the most important factor is interaction with another person, whether it be a sibling, parent, classmate, or teacher. Young children learn best by imitating real people, not those seen on screens.

Sit down with your child to explore a musical instrument, pointing out its unique features. For example, a rain stick can create a soft or pounding rain sound, depending on how you move it. Play a familiar tune together as you learn to play a lap harp with help from the guide sheet showing which strings to pluck. Create duets on your harmonicas or triangles. The possibilities are endless!

Music has the ability to entertain. You may have noticed how your child responds to music and intuitively picks up the rhythm. At age three, one of my grandson's favorite pastimes was to turn on the radio and dance to the music. His moves were unique, to say the least, and the energy expended was enormous. He would dance through the house for 20 or 30 minutes, occasionally using props to mimic the beat.

Pass on the songs from your childhood: "Rock-A-Bye Baby," "Old MacDonald Had a Farm," or "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head." Memories of a family tradition might be associated with a song. My grandma, for example, always sang "Good Morning to You" on the mornings I slept at her house. Now I often greet my grandchildren this same way. Learning the music of one's cultural and family heritage is rich and varied. Whenever I hear "This Land Is Your Land," I'm reminded of the Fourth of July picnics we had. Songs learned at an early age stay with us forever.

Keep playing music. When you do, keep it simple, and remember that play is the operative word. Have fun as you expose your children to the many varieties of music. Sharing music will enrich your lives and help your children feel cherished as you sing, play, and listen together.

—by Jane M. Jacobs, M.A., Montessori Educational Consultant at Montessori Services. She is a trained primary Montessori directress and also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has taught children aged 2 to 7 years in Montessori schools, Headstart, and also in a preschool for children with developmental challenges. In her counseling practice, she helps individuals, couples, and families. —Originally Published 2017

Children can burn out too!

Gone are the days when children went to school, came home, made a peanut butter sandwich and went to play with the neighbourhood kids!

Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres explains “Children are naturally high-energy beings and very little thought is given to the extreme pressures and overloading of activities that our children face in the world that we find ourselves living in today!

As adults, we are familiar with the challenges of physical and emotional burn-out, but we do not consider that children are prone to burn out as well. In fact, burn out in children, if left unchecked, can lead to depression, complete apathy and a myriad of health issues.”

Cindy goes on to explain that many children are being subjected to competitive and pressured activities all day, every day and at a pace that most adults would find challenging to keep up! “Academic expectations, sports (school and clubs), cultural and religious studies, extra lessons, music, art, drama, dance…. the list goes on and on… when packed, backto-back into the daily schedule of children can lead to overloaded children becoming exhausted and this may lead to burn out!”

Parents who notice that their children are showing a combination of the following signs may want to consider that their children may be heading towards burn out-or worse-have already burned out!

• • • • • •

A loss of motivation or desire for activities that they once enjoyed or looked forward to.

Anxiety, fearfulness and panic attacks Fatigue and tearfulness, withdrawn, uncharacteristic tantrums Feelings of dejection, making excuses or simply refusing to attend activities that they may have enjoyed before Physical illnesses, loss of appetite, nail biting Falling behind in academics or other activities

Burn out is not something to be taken lightly. Cindy gives the following tips to consider when dealing with burn out in children: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Choose to be a mindful parent. Watch, communicate, listen-with-understanding, acknowledge that something needs to change and act to help and support your child!

Honestly assess the activities and stress causers in your child’s life. Work with your child to reduce or stop the activities that cause the greatest stress.

Allow time for your children to just BE. Allow time for rest and reflection, for childish games and laughter. Teach your children the importance of listening to their bodies and making healthy choices for themselves—choices that are uplifting, enjoyable and less pressured.

Be realistic in terms of how many activities your child is doing every day and every week.

Watch for signs of exhaustion. Engender a relationship of non-judgmental communication with your child. Guide, support and teach them positive coping skills (which may or may not involve a change in schedule).

Choose to create balance in yours and your children’s lives. There is no advantage or positive learning that can take place from overloading a child! It is important for children to learn a variety of skills as they grow, but be aware of how much is expected of them—too much can be counter-productive!

Cindy concludes by saying “Burn out in children is more prevalent that we may have allowed ourselves to consider before! It can lead to serious consequences. As parents, it is essential that we acknowledge that children, although naturally high energy beings, can and will burn out if their lives are out of balance and the signs are left unchecked!”

Established in 2016, Step Up Education Centres is a dynamic after-school remediation and tutoring franchise with a difference.

Step Up offers children an opportunity to succeed in a schooling system that is, at times, very unsympathetic. From the moment a child walks through a Step Up Education Centre’s doors they feel different. They no longer feel silly, stupid, misunderstood and judged. After just one lesson they feel hope. Most importantly they see a possibility. After a few sessions, they walk taller, feel smarter and do better.

Why choose a Step Up Education Centre for your child?

Firstly, Step Up believes that every child has potential.

Secondly, our passionate educators will not give up until they reach it! Thirdly, and most importantly they are passionate, fearless and committed to making a real difference in the lives of others.

Moreover, it's Founded by seasoned educators Cindy Glass and Fiona Lake. Step Up isn’t only an education franchise that offers remediation to struggling learners. In addition, it also offers a life-changing service to the communities in which we operate by powerfully influencing and bringing together the struggling child, the parent, and the teacher.

With a world-class programme and a remarkable bunch of people!

Above all you see, all our franchisees have one thing in common – they are passionate, fearless and most importantly committed to making a real difference in the lives of others.

FIND A CENTRE NEAR YOU

15 Art Therapy Ideas (For Beginners and Non-Artists!)

What is Art Therapy? • 11 Art Therapy Benefits • 15 Art Therapy Ideas and Activities For Beginners

15 Art Therapy Ideas to Banish Anxiety and Channel Your Emotions Like me, your art therapy practice could be as simple as having a cup full of pencils and a drawing pad next to where you work. Here is what mine looks like:

As you can see, there’s nothing fancy about what I’ve drawn. In fact, from your perspective, this page might look like a bunch of mental vomit that has landed on a perfectly nice piece of paper.

In any case, its the benefits that count! And I can tell you that art therapy has had some tremendously positive effects on my ability to focus, process grief, express anger, and relax.

In this article, you’ll find a bunch of art therapy activities inspired by Russian art therapist and psychologist Victoria Nazarevich.

What is Art Therapy?

Art therapy is the safe, creative, and therapeutic process of expressing your inner thoughts, feelings, memories, and experiences through any form of art.

Art therapy usually involves techniques such as drawing, painting, sculpting, collaging, and other types of crafts that help create more inner self-awareness, understanding, and harmony.

Those who undergo formal art therapy with trained art therapists are often taught to reflect on their art and examine any emotional or psychological truths that may be inherent in what they create.

Art Therapy is For Children, Adults, the Elderly – Everyone!

No matter who you are, where you come from, how old you are or what you do, you can benefit from art therapy. There’s no doubt about it. So if you’re wondering “umm, is this really for me?” the answer is a resounding YES! Children, for example, often benefit from art therapy because it helps them to process their emotions and learn the art of self-soothing. Adults benefit from the positive mental health impacts and the elderly benefit from the self-expression and social aspects of doing art therapy with others.

11 Art Therapy Benefits Seeking out an art therapist will help you learn to ‘decode’ the various metaphors, symbols, and non-verbal clues buried in your artwork that reveal hidden wounds, fears, and desires. BUT … not everyone has the means to seek out professional therapy.

Thankfully, there are many books out there such as 250 Brief, Creative, and Practical Art Therapy Techniques which can help you become your own amateur art therapist. You can even join free online groups (such as those found on various social media platforms like Facebook) dedicated to art therapy, post your artwork, and receive insight from legitimate art therapists if that appeals to you.

Whether done by yourself (or with an art therapist), here are some wonderful benefits you can expect to enjoy: • • • • • • • • • • • •

Improved self-esteem and self-worth Increased ability to self-soothe Stress and anxiety relief Improved emotional intelligence and processing Increased ability to cope with chronic physical illnesses Improved mental health Enhanced problem-solving skills Ability to face past traumas and emotional triggers Improved communication skills Increased focus Emotional and mental catharsis (healthy outlet of self-expression) And all this simply by putting a pen to paper!

15 Art Therapy Ideas and Activities For Beginners Now, let’s get to the core of this article, shall we? You will find some amazingly simple and effective art therapy ideas and activities below:

1. Sadness Paint a rainbow:

2. Worried Make origami:

3. Listless Draw landscapes:

4. Angry Draw Lines

5. Focus Draw grids and a target:

6. Need to make the right choice Draw waves and circles:

7. Bored Paint with different colors:

8. Enraged Tear a piece of paper:

9. Nostalgic Draw a maze:

10. Difficulty understanding wishes Make a collage:

11. Confused Draw a mandala:

12. Stuck Draw spirals:

13. Difficulty understanding feelings Draw yourself:

14. Desperation Draw roads:

15. Need to arrange thoughts Draw cells or squares:

There are so many benefits of art therapy that it’s worth taking the time to dabble and experiment. The point isn’t to create a beautiful piece of art, the point of art therapy is to express your inner feelings, thoughts, and unconscious struggles.

I hope these art therapy ideas and activities have inspired you. If you’d like to incorporate artistic self-expression into your inner work practice, see our soulwork coloring book.

EST. 2005

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OVERNIGHT OATS Ingredients ½ cup rolled oats 1 cup nut milk 1 mashed banana 4 dates, chopped 2 tablespoons chia seeds (optional) 1 tablespoon ground flax seeds (optional) Toppings: fresh fruit, granola, maple syrup, nuts, peanut butter Instructions Mix all ingredients in a bowl until well-combined.

Place the oats mixture in a glass jar with closed lid overnight.

Transfer your oats mixture to a bowl the next morning, add your favourite toppings and more nut milk if you prefer and enjoy hot or cold.

BANANA, DATE & PEANUT BUTTER NICECREAM

Ingredients

690 g Bananas 250 ml Soy Milk 20 g Pitted Dates 225 g Peanut Butter Instructions Slice up bananas and freeze for at least 6 hours.

Take the frozen bananas and put them in a food processor with all the other ingredients (dates must be chopped).

Blend until smooth and creamy.

Scoop the mixture into a container and put back in the freezer.

Freeze for 24 hours before serving.

Serve a scoop of Nicecream with toppings of your choice.

Recipe credit: Nikki Botha Photo credit: House of Vizion

Child of the Universe Magazine

Child of the Universe Magazine

Child of the Universe Magazine

The Antbear Drakensberg Lodge is a thatched, whitewashed lodge built high on a natural platform overlooking the Bushman's River and Giants Castle.

Antbear Drakensberg Lodge offers various Drakensberg accommodation options in en suite double rooms, luxury suites, family units and also boasts a luxury cave too.

Antbear Drakensberg Lodge is one of those smaller intimate kind places which has been lovingly put together. The natural setting of the accommodation is stunning and we have managed to encase all this beauty with an atmosphere of comfort and ease.

The cottages are smartly appointed and individually designed and the fact that we are a small place makes for an intimate and personal accommodation experience. Each of the accommodation units are different and are decorated with uniquely eccentric and artistic wooden furniture.

It is a bit off the beaten track and is more of an insider tip than just another bed and breakfast. We cater for small intimate groups and never have more than 45 guests at a time. It's a laid back, lovingly cared for kind of place where you feel a sense of happiness and peace. Honeymoon stays turn into anniversary commemorations just as guests become friends. Even foreign tourists return for a second and third taste.

Attractions Drakensburg Hiking Trails Bushman Rock Art Giant’s Castle Kamberg Weenen Game Reserve Royal Natal National Park Drakensburg Boys Choir

Horse Trails Injasuti Nature Reserve Monks Cowl Natal Midlands Tugela Falls Sani Pass Fly Fishing

Retreats The Antbear Drakensberg Lodge is the ideal retreat venue where we can provide all the services and accommodation for your retreat. Situated 4 hours from Johannesburg and 2 hours from Durban with easy access from the N3 Antbear Lodge is easy to get to but has the feeling of being far from the madding crowd. This wonderful place for group retreats offers spectacular views, vast spaces, wild winds, rain, sunshine, clouds and rainbows and in all of this – silence and peace.

Retreat groups can book the whole lodge for their exclusive use.

The Lodge can accommodate 44 persons in 15 separate accommodation units Antbear Drakensberg Lodge has a spacious dining room with a wood-burning fireplace, a comfortable lounge with a fireplace and spectacular views, a breakaway meeting room, a large veranda and a large meeting room for retreat, team building or training activities. We provide excellent meals and will fit our menu to your expectations.

Conscious Life Magazine

Conscious Life Magazine

Because food is an important part of your stay Meals are part of the real surprises that the Antbear Lodge has to offer where home grown cooking is part of the deal. We like to use our own home grown organic vegetables and if we haven’t got, then we lean heavily on those local providers with similar attitudes to our own. Conny and Andrew both like cooking and are up to changing just about anything to suit tastes or philosophies. Our cooking experience is in part a journal, a record of events and memories expressed in recipes. In the course of our travels we have filed away many recipes and with them images of people and places and their lives. How food tastes has much to do with the associations we make and if you would like to hear the tales of our meals we would love to tell them.

Sustainable & responsible tourism is our social responsibility and what we do to give something back to our community and environment We believe in sustainable tourism and social responsibility. We live is a spectacularly beautiful place called the Drakensberg and our standard of living here is exceptional.

But around us lie contrasts of poverty and lack of development. If we are to keep our way of life then it surely follows that we must do everything in our power to contribute to the upliftment and prosperity of this rural area. We believe that the future of South Africa is linked to the prosperity of the people, and that upliftment is linked to education. And as such we have chosen to support our local primary school called Vulakani Primary School.

Pet friendly accommodation Drakensberg One of the few pet-friendly places in the Drakensberg. Beautiful, vast views of the Drakensberg with plenty of ground for my dogs to roam. Walk for hours.

Your dogs will be happy with lots of dams to swim in and horses to discover. One of the accommodation units at Antbear Lodge is fenced in so its really easy to leave your dog behind if you would like to explore some of the sights where pets are not that welcome. If country life is for you and you would love to take your pet with you then Antbear Lodge is a great accommodation choice. Your hosts will advise you on all the activities available. Antbear Lodge prides itself on being both family-friendly and petfriendly.

CONTACT Mobile 076 441 2362 Email: reservations@antbear.co.za Web: www.antbear.co.za

Conscious Life Magazine

Conscious Life Magazine

Holistic Pet Nutrition

The role herbs play

By Paul Jacobson – Vondis Holistic Pet Nutrition By now I am sure that most pet owners have changed to a natural and wholesome diet for their pets, be it buying from Vondis or cooking up a wholesome nutritious meal at home.

The commercial food companies were found wanting and all we got was feeble excuses. When there are 11 pet food recalls in the last 12 years when we can clearly see that these ‘freak occurrences’ are the rule and not the exception. In many of the cases it led to the fatal death of our most precious beloved companions.

The result is that pet lovers began to ask questions about what goes into their pet food, how the dried pellets are made and which brands can you trust. The marketing brilliance of the multinational, owners of the ‘premium’ pet food brands was revealed.

They identified a gap in the South African market and targeted the vet6s, kennels and breeders by convincing them that their product was ‘totally balanced’ and offering them exclusive selling rights, knowing that these establishments held the credibility within the community.

A lot has changed now and people are challenging the food recommendations of their vets and doing their own research and browsing the net for alternative diets and supply sources.

The American Protection Institute for Animals also, recently published on the website a list of common medical ailments resulting from feeding our companions animals processed dry food, year in and year out. Their web address in www.qpi4animals.org and the subject “Get the Facts: What’s Really in Pet Food”.

Vondis Holistic Pet Nutrition is, without a doubt, the best nutrition you can get for your pet. Vondis is a registered nutritional pet food naturally and holistically formulated with absolutely NO nasty preservatives. The cooking process and ingredients, including freshly packed herbs, makes our product unique. The medicinal and mineral wealth in herbs is well documented and is essential to the health of all animals. In the wild, dogs and cats would graze a variety of mineral enriched grass, flowers and herbs, instinctively identifying the healing and cleansing agents that they contain. It is not uncommon for even our domesticated pets to consume grass and roots.

It is for this reason that Vondis Holistic Pet Nutrition includes a variety of over 20 freshly picked herbs and as a result have had amazing success in treating skin allergies and eczemas, bad breath, bladder disorders, obesity, eye ailments, diabetes, cancer and nervousness.

GARLIC is a miracle herb and has a powerful natural disinfectant which helps to destroy harmful bacteria in the animals’ system and helps detoxify the body. It also tones the lymphatic cells and helps purify the bloodstream and intestines. It prevents viruses from multiplying and creates hostile conditions that repel most parasites and strengthens the immune system.

ROSEMARY has traditionally been used for asthma and lung difficulties, bruises, wounds, colds, depression, eczema, dandruff, hair loss, headaches, heart palpitations muscle spasms, rheumatism and sores. It also produces glossy coats and shinny eyes.

THYME has very strong antiseptic and anti-inflammatory properties. Used to fight infection poor digestion, lung infections and skin inflammation. It is also know as an eye strengthener.

MARJORAM is a relaxing herb and used in the treatment of nervous tension and stress related conditions.

MINT reduces excess acidity ad calms nerves, It is digestive, soothing, relaxing and sleep inducing. It is a digestive Alkaliser and prevents mucus formation and sinus blocking.

PARSLEY is rich in iron – builds blood, promotes oxygen absorption, gives good pigment to skin and hair and nourishes the nerves, muscles and internal organs. It also refreshes bed breath.

FENNEL is enriched with so many wonderful minerals and medicinal properties are enormous. It strengthens the nervous system and stamina for highly strung animals gut at the same time reduces acidity and calms nerves. It maintains brain, teeth, eyes and all bones of the body.

BASIL promotes building of the glands which clear the body from toxins and also reduces fatty tissue. It is also excellent for skin and bright eyes.

CARROTS, herb or vegetable, it doesn’t matter because it has a wealth of minerals and a must for any pet food. It builds strong teethe, bones, cartilage and nails. It gives energy, vitality and strength, promotes healing of would and aids with digestions. It is an eye strengthener, fights infection and maintains the health and strength of the entire body.

Dear Reader, Because of animal lovers like you, Humane Society International is working around the clock to fight the gruesome dog meat industry – to end it for good.

We’ve slammed the doors permanently on nine dog meat farms in South Korea and rescued more than 900 dogs. Not only that, but we’re lobbying hard for better laws throughout Asia to fight the cruelty, transition farmers out of the business of cruelty, and so much more.

Here is one transformation that we can't stop smiling about. Sophie was rescued just this year from a horrible life on a dog meat farm. Now, she is running free and playing in the grass, surrounded by the love of her forever family:

Conscious Life Magazine

This kind of ending never gets old, but so many other dogs still need you.

You can make a difference for dogs caught up in this brutal industry: Sign the dog meat pledge today.

With you by our side, we're committed to this huge fight against the dog meat trade. We’re closing farms and rescuing the animals; we’re raising public and political awareness of the cruelty involved; and we’re growing substantial support for a phase out and ban of South Korea’s dog meat farms. Become a part of the global campaign to end the dog meat trade—sign your name right now.

Thank you, for protecting animals from cruelty all across the globe.

Sincerely, Kitty Block President Humane Society International

Conscious Life Magazine

EVERY HOME NEEDS A LOVING PET! THERE ARE SO MANY BEAUTIFUL ANIMALS WAITING TO BE ADOPTED – PLEASE REACH OUT! WE ALSO ENCOCURAGE YOU TO REACH INTO YOUR HEARTS FOR THOSE WHO ARE LESS FORTUNATE AND REALLY NEED YOUR HELP.

Conscious Life Magazine

Who we are: The Monkey Helpline, started in 1995, is a volunteer group, based in Westville near Durban in KwaZulu-Natal, but operating throughout the province and also anywhere else in South Africa and abroad where our assistance and advice are requested.

Our team of dedicated rescuers and rescue assistants, veterinarians, educators, monitors, fund-raisers, administrative assistants and supporters is what makes this project the success that it is today.

Monkey Helpline is a registered NPO. 130-166 NPO What we do: As a team we devote our time to educating people about the reasons why the monkeys are here, why monkeys behave the way they do, the things people should do or not do when monkeys are around, and how to humanely keep monkeys away from those places where they are not welcome. Just knowing that monkeys will NOT attack and bite people, and that they DON’T carry rabies, is usually enough to change antagonism and fear into tolerance, and frequently into appreciation.

We also run a rescue operation and a “high care” unit. We rescue an average of three monkeys every two days, and their injuries range from wounds sustained during fights with other monkeys, dog bites, being run over by motor vehicles, electrocuted, snared, trapped or poisoned, shot with airguns (pellet/BB guns), catapults, paintball guns and firearms, as well as being caught or injured on razor-wire. Many are babies who are orphaned or injured when mother monkeys are attacked by dogs or other monkeys, or are severely injured or killed in human-related incidents.

Over eighty percent of the monkeys we rescue, irrespective of the reason why, have got air-gun pellets lodged in their bodies. Lead pellets cause terrible pain, suffering and a lingering death and no person, adult or child, should ever shoot monkeys, or any other animals, with an air-gun.

As the only dedicated monkey rescue project in KwaZulu-Natal, the Monkey Helpline is available to do rescues 24 hours a day, every day! On any given day we are treating ten or more monkeys in our home-based high care unit – frequently in excess of twenty monkeys! Once they have recovered from their injuries these monkeys are released back into their home territory, transferred to a rehabilitation facility or placed in a sanctuary.

Education is a vital tool in our hands and we distribute thousands of information leaflets, and visit many schools (at least two schools per week) to do educational talks about the monkeys. During 2009 we spoke to over 40 000 school learners and their teachers. We also do talks to many other interest groups such as police cadets, garden clubs, public service groups, conservation bodies, body corporates, etc. In addition, we advise farmers, businesses, hotels and casinos, housing and golfing estates, botanical gardens etc on the best ways to manage human/monkey “conflict”.

Monkey Helpline networks with a number of other Vervet-related individuals, groups, and general primate- and animal-care NGO’s.

NB. There is no charge for the services we offer, but donations towards the cost of running the project are welcome. Without your support we would not be able to change attitudes and legislation in favour of the monkeys nor would we be able to rescue the hundreds that we do every year and alleviate their suffering.

Conscious Life Magazine

Hotel Hope Ministries is a fully registered South African non-profit organisation established with aim of ensuring that each and every child is brought up in a safe, happy and healthy home so that they can grow up and develop into responsible and positive adults. Although children are our main focus, we have a holistic approach to the problem of orphaned and abandoned children. We realise that we need to focus on the cause of the problem too and not only the symptoms. So we have projects to focus on assisting Mothers and Fathers, so that they can look after themselves and their children.

We group our projects under three focus areas: BABIES IN NEED Creating and supporting several small family style foster homes for orphaned and abandoned babies.

MOTHERS IN CRISIS Providing young mothers facing unplanned pregnancies with counselling, guidance and practical support.

SOCIAL ENTERPRISE Helping Mothers and Fathers to help themselves by providing jobs and skill development opportunities through our fundraising and trading projects.

As a fully registered South African charity we are registered with the following authorities: · Section 21 company without share capital - 2010/006792/08 · Non-Profit Organization (NPO) number – 084 289 · Public Benefit Organization (PBO) number – 930 034 387 Mission statement: To engage the local Church Worldwide to embrace its God given responsibility of taking care of destitute mothers and orphaned and abandoned children.

Vision statement: To see a full service (either ourselves or in partner with others) covering: •Children’s homes •Adoption advocacy •Mothers in crisis •Counselling centres •Training Academy •Charity shops / trading Conscious Life Magazine

Our fundraising model: We have a unique funding model in place where we are able to generate funds to cover 100% of our administrative costs through our Charity Shop(s) as well as the output of our carpentry workshop and sewing workshop. We are extremely committed to Social enterprise as it creates employment in South Africa, funds for the Charity, volunteering opportunities as well as a lowpriced outlet for customers from low-income groups. Furthermore we can assure donors that 100% of their support will directly benefit the children in our care as well as mothers in crisispregnancy situations.

Thank you to our donors and corporate sponsors: As an organisation we are incredibly blessed to have many active supporters, individuals and corporates, who make it possible for us to do what we do and to make a difference. People often comment that it must be difficult to work in our environment hearing sad stories all the time, and it is sometimes hard, but it is also so rewarding to see those stories turning into stories of hope and it is so inspiring and such a privilege to witness people, like our supporters, coming forward to help and to give so generously. There are amazing people out there in the world, click here to see who some of them are and how they have made a difference‌ Click here Our Sponsors:

DONATE FINANCIALLY Deposit or Electronic transfer directly into our account First National Bank Account name: Hotel Hope Account number: 62194003382 Branch: Melville, Johannesburg Branch code (sort code): 256505 Account type: Cheque account SWIFT code: FIRNZAJJ (For international deposits) Reference: Donation (your name) OTHER WAYS TO DONATE/HELP US Conscious Life Magazine

Help us bring hope to girls without and choices to those with none.

Founded in 2000 by Khanyisile Motsa, and run under her diligent care ever, Home of Hope for Girls is an autonomous, self-started initiative to provide real care for exploited, trafficked and abused children in the city of Johannesburg.

It is more than just a residential shelter; it is a loving home where dignity is restored, the past is healed and the girls are given the tools to take control of their futures. Home of Hope also reaches out to the community offering the most vulnerable members support, practical help and a lifeline.

The Background to Home of Hope An estimated 10,000 children are prostitutes in Johannesburg and this figure is increasing.

When Khanyisile Motsa relocated to Hillbrow she was shocked to observe girls as young as nine working as prostitutes and selling drugs on the streets at night. The truth about these forgotten children is: • • • • • •

Child Prostitute. Photo by Tseliso Monaheng

Criminals pay agents to recruit children They usually target often orphans or/and those from very disadvantaged rural communities Victims are trafficked or seduced to leave with lies about a life in the city Their IDs are frequently taken from them to make escape and identification difficult Their IDs are often sold on the black market ‘Owned’ by their exploiters they are prostituted, abused, made to sell drugs

Email: info@hopehome.org.za Mam Khanyi: 073 250 2086 Telephone: 011 614 0861 Conscious Life Magazine

Call 012 430 7775 Lines open 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday

Save the Children believes every child deserves a future. In South Africa and around the world, we work every day to give children a healthy start in life, the opportunity to learn and protection from harm. When crisis strikes, and children are most vulnerable, we are always among the first to respond and the last to leave. We ensure children’s unique needs are met and their voices are heard. We deliver lasting results for millions of children, including those hardest to reach. We do whatever it takes for children – every day and in times of crisis – transforming their lives and the future we share.

We need your help to ensure that no child is left behind.

In a tough funding environment, we have ensured we have multiple avenues of funding and are proud to have 11,000 generous individual donors contributing monthly. We will continue to be innovative in securing funding to enable us to reach more children and will work on increasing unrestricted and consistent funding streams.

You can help us make a difference. Even just by becoming aware of our work by reading our annual report.

To download and read the full annual report, click here.

Help us do whatever it takes to save the children.

Thank You Gugulethu Ndebele CEO

www.savethechildren.org.za Conscious Life Magazine

with much appreciation to our advertisers, contributors, endorsers and our readers namaste